764 - The Accursed Blessing
“The Secreta?”
“It’s really the most awful name, isn’t it?” sighed Sanguine Disposition. “It sounds more like ‘secrete’ rather than ‘secret,’ but I suppose that’s due to the contemporary vernacular more than anything else. Perhaps in a few hundred years the language we’re speaking will change enough that the name will sound mellifluous rather than grating.”
Lex shook his head, unconcerned with the leather wing’s complaints about his blessing’s name. “What, exactly, does that ability let you discern?”
He tried his best to keep his voice casual, not wanting to display the sudden tension coursing through him. As he’d noted during his battle with White Wraith, control of information was paramount during any sort of tactical engagement with an enemy. Although his dark magic foiled thought-reading spells and powers the same way it did for mind-altering magic, his reserves were currently depleted. Which meant that he had very little to left if he ended up needing to fight Sanguine Disposition.
While the ring on right on his right foreleg granted him immunity to minor divinatory powers, and he could say without conceit that his ability to resist invasive magic was considerable, Lex didn’t care to test either of those against a blessing that was on par with what the Charismata could do.
Sanguine Disposition, however, simply waggled his eyebrows. “That’s always the first question people ask when they find out I have the Secreta,” he answered with a coy smirk. “Which, I suppose, is another way that the ability to unearth secrets, as a form of resource-control, grants power. When other people think that you’ve learned things they’d rather keep hidden, but aren’t sure precisely what it is that you know, it invariably puts them on the defensive.”
Lex’s eyes flashed at that, and he abruptly stood up, incensed at the implication that the other stallion had cowed him. But before he could give voice to the angry retort that was already on his lips, Sanguine Disposition continued speaking. “But we were talking about the blessing that Kara gave you, weren’t we? Now that we’ve both finished our meal, please allow me to tell you what I know of it.”
“I find myself beginning to wonder if you spoke truthfully about my having such a blessing,” hissed Lex. “Or if you have the power that you claim, for that matter.”
Sanguine Disposition blinked. “You think this has all been an elaborate ruse on my part?” He put a hoof to his chin, as though considering the possibility. “I suppose that’s understandable, since I’ve offered no proof of my claims. Very well then, how about this: right now, you’re wearing an apotropaic cloak of considerable ability, an amulet that increases your combat prowess and hardens your skin, and a robe that likewise increases your kinetic reflexes. The circlet on your brow allows you to see magic, albeit only with modest acuity, and contains a small reservoir of spell energy, though it’s currently expended. And I believe that pack at your side is an improvement on the usual extradimensional storage devices that are all the rage these days.”
Lex’s lip curled, the accurate summary of his magical gear failing to impress him. “Any spell designed to detect magical emanations would have told you that.”
Grunting in agreement, Sanguine Disposition took another sip of his wine before replying. “Would it also tell me that you’re here as an astral projection, and that you’re trying quite hard to hide your silver cord – or ‘lifeline’ as it’s colloquially referred to – beneath your robe?”
Lex stared hard at the leather wing for another few moments, then slowly sank back down into his seat.
Nodding his head in recognition of the unicorn’s acknowledgment, Sanguine Disposition gestured toward his guest. “For what it’s worth, I doubt I’d have noticed that if not for the Secreta. The spell to let someone leave their body like that, while still maintaining a connection to it, normally radiates a very striking aura, but yours doesn’t seem to have one at all. I’d ask how you pulled it off, but we can save that for another time. Now, as for Kara’s blessing...”
He held out a hoof then, and it took Lex several seconds to realize that he was waiting for him to touch his own to it. “Kara’s one of the subtler deities,” explained Sanguine Disposition when Lex gave him a sour look. “It was only because we made physical contact before that I was able to recognize her blessing at all. I can give you my general impression, but if you want a more detailed take on it...”
He shrugged, indicating his outstretched hoof again.
Gritting his teeth, Lex slowly reached out and placed his own hoof against the red-eyed pony’s. He knew that was a mistake, that he was likely giving the leather wing more information than he wanted, but if there was a divine influence on him besides the Night Mare’s, that wasn’t a possibility he could bring himself to overlook; debauched spells were one thing, but given that Kara had apparently meddled in his relationship with Sonata, the repercussions of her blessing likely went much further.
Closing his eyes, Sanguine Disposition slowly rubbed his hoof against Lex’s. “Hmm, yes, it’s definitely there. But it’s minor, nowhere near as potent as the Secreta or the Charismata.”
He paused, brow furrowing. “As I thought, it’s not affecting you directly, instead radiating out toward everyone in your vicinity.”
“To what end?”
“It’s strange,” murmured the leather wing. “It’s almost like a charm, but...different. More sophisticated. It’s not instigating any sort of compulsory reaction, but more like it’s...encouraging it? No. Nurturing. Yes, that’s it. It’s nurturing those feelings.”
“What feelings?” snapped Lex, his heart beating faster as a new sense of dread came over him. “What does her blessing actually do?”
Nodding as though satisfied, Sanguine Disposition withdrew his hoof then, opening his eyes. “From what I can tell, it draws out and encourages feelings of love for you in those who’d be naturally predisposed to harbor those sentiments in the first place.”
Snorting, the leather wing shook his head before taking a large sip from his wineglass. “I suppose that explains why I’m acting like a teenage colt trying to woo his first crush,” he muttered.
The remark went entirely unheard by Lex, who was barely able to move as Sanguine Disposition’s pronouncement echoed in his ears. But as he parsed what he’d just been told, integrating that new information against the last few months of his life, Lex found himself reflexively trying to keep his emotions contained. It was in vain, however, as just like during the Rite of Sublimation, the revelation was simply too large and too personal for him to control himself, and he found his reaction spilling out despite his attempts to control himself.
“...hehehe...”
Sanguine Disposition cocked his head as the stallion across from him began to chuckle quietly, head bent over so far that it was nearly touching the table. A moment later his mirth grew, shoulders jumping before Lex leaned his head back, facing toward the ceiling as he started to howl with laughter. “You seem to be taking that well.”
Lex didn’t answer, didn’t even hear him speak, too consumed by this latest, perfect irony.
He’d never been able to make sense of why, in the last few months, he’d suddenly been an object of so much affection from so many mares. It had been a complete reversal of his life up until that point, as his inability to understand the unspoken nuances of interpersonal communication had precluded romantic relationships, something that he’d come to think of as the very apex of social dynamics. To have repeatedly stumbled into not just one, but multiple intimate encounters in such rapid succession had been beyond his understanding.
But it made complete sense now.
“It was all lies!”
The words left his lips of their own accord, choked out between bouts of laughter. It was exactly what he’d always wanted: a simple answer to the most vexing of questions regarding how to get someone else to like him. But while the Rite of Sublimation had taught him that he’d never solve that particular question on his own – and had wasted his life trying – Kara’s blessing had made it clear that what progress he had made, at least when it came to the mares in his life, hadn’t been progress at all.
Thermal Draft’s inexplicable infatuation with him.
His disastrous relationship with Nosey.
Aria throwing herself at him in the train station.
Sonata...
“IT WAS ALL LIES!!!”
Leaping to his hooves, Lex upended the table, hooves and telekinesis sending it crashing into the wall as Sanguine Disposition barely got clear in time. Nor did he stop there, grabbing the chair he’d been sitting on and slamming it against the floor, not just once but again and again, until it had splintered into so many shards of wood. When there was nothing left of it to destroy, he turned his wrath toward the sconces on the wall, telekinetically tearing them free and flinging them away randomly.
Master! What’s wrong?! I can sense your-
Lex shut down his connection with Solvei immediately, but even the momentary contact was enough to send his thoughts spiraling down new, unwanted avenues. The winter wolf’s devotion had always struck him as incongruous for how briefly they’d known each other, having abandoned the family she’d risked her life to save in favor of staying by his side. Was that an effect of Kara’s blessing also? If all it did was encourage love, then that didn’t necessarily have to be limited to romance.
And that was enough to make all of his other relationships suspect as well. For all that Lex excelled at conceptual disciplines, the various forms of love and the continuum between them and other positive inclinations wasn’t something he’d ever seen any point in charting. Which meant that Kara’s influence might have been far wider than he’d initially imagined.
Just the thought was enough to send him searching for something else to break. But with no furniture left, all he could do was stumble to the edge of the room and slam his foreleg against the wall. The punch accomplished nothing except to make his hoof ache, but he did it again. Then again. And then again.
Was it because of Kara’s blessing that Fruit Crunch and his friends had been so intent on following in his hoofsteps? Was it the reason why Cloudbank had gone from despising him to regarding him as someone to be emulated? Or why Garden Gate had been so intent on returning from Canterlot to continue helping him restore Vanhoover, despite how harshly he’d condemned her?
The same questions could just as easily have been applied to River Bank, or Feather Duster, or Ribbon Cutter, or a plethora of other ponies that he’d gradually developed working relationships with other the last few months. And while Lex knew that attributing all of those to Kara’s blessing was likely giving it more credit than it was due – there had to be some sort of distinction to be made between love and other non-antipathetic dispositions – there was no way to know for sure.
Which meant that his relationships with all of them were suspect.
“...it was...all...lies...”
His strength deserting him at last, Lex almost collapsed against the wall he’d been trying in vain to break, his laughter having long since tapered off to heavy breathing. This completed the cycle of what he’d lost when he’d undergone the Rite of Sublimation, destroying not only his sense of purpose, but the emotional investment he’d made in everypony he’d ever known. He could only imagine what his tulpa would do with that information now that he knew just how much...how much...
That was when Lex realized that he hadn’t heard anything from the rogue portion of his mind since he’d undergone the Rite.
“You look like a pony who’s lost everything.”
Belatedly remembering that Sanguine Disposition was there, Lex looked at the leather wing. “...what?”
Seemingly unconcerned with the destruction of his dining room, the red-eyed stallion stepped closer to him. “I’m guessing that learning about Kara’s blessing has made you reevaluate one or more relationships you’ve had, yes? For what it’s worth, you have my sympathy. And since you’ve pointedly neglected to talk about what it is that’s brought you to Eigengrau in the first place, when last I heard you heading up the Night Mare’s religion back on your world...would I be wrong if I guessed that you’re here because something went awry with building your powerbase?”
“That’s no concern of yours!”
“It’s not,” agreed the leather wing, “but you are.”
Narrowing his eyes, Lex scoffed. But that didn’t stop Sanguine Disposition from walking over to him and kneeling down, placing himself at eye-level with Lex. “The third power that the Night Mare grants is called the Dominata. Like the Charismata and Secreta, it’s an extremely powerful blessing, one that grants the ability to overwhelm others. It’s currently held by a pony – if you can call him that - named Steel Soul.”
“And?” spat Lex.
“And as you can imagine from someone who has a power with that name, he’s not exactly the sort who cultivates alliances or networks. And he especially hates competition.”
“By which you mean you.”
“By which I mean us,” corrected Sanguine Disposition. “I promise you, so long as you possess the Charismata, Steel Soul is your enemy. He might not openly go to war against you, since he knows that the Night Mare disapproves of that level of infighting among her Chosen, but if he doesn’t know who you are already, he will soon. Once that happens, he’ll dedicate himself to stymying your every ambition, foiling your every plan, and ruining your every endeavor, all to make you look incompetent in front of the Night Mare in hopes that she’ll discard you or destroy you, and give him the blessing she’s assigned to you. In this, I speak from experience.”
“He’ll have a hard time with that,” replied Lex bitterly. “I have no ambitions or endeavors left to be undone.”
He knew that remark was a mistake as soon as it left his mouth, revealing too much of his shattered life to someone he’d just met and didn’t trust. But even that was a fleeting regret. What did it matter if the leather wing knew that he’d lost everything he’d valued?
“Then why not make some new ones here?”
The statement was so incongruous that it took Lex a moment to properly comprehend it. “...what?”
“Let’s work together. We both have an enemy in Steel Soul, and I’ve been doing my best to check his plans, but there’s only so much I can do on my own. But if we join forces-”
“I don’t care about whatever private war you’re waging with the Night Mare’s other champion,” interrupted Lex, slowly standing back up despite how wretched he felt. “And even if I was going to stay in Darkest Night, it wouldn’t be here. You’ve made a town where humiliating ponies for minor offenses is seen as a virtue instead of a vice...”
He trailed off, belatedly recalling how pointless his moral indignation was, and Sanguine Disposition jumped in. “Then help me make it better.”
Lex sneered, but the leather wing kept going. “I’m serious. You’re unimpressed by the afterlife that this place offers ponies? Then let’s change it. Right now, the person who runs Eigengrau is the Lord Marshall. I can have them dismissed, and you appointed to that office, at which point we can work on reforming this place into an afterlife you’ll be proud of.”
Again, Lex’s lip curled, but to his surprise he found himself thinking the offer over. He’d already been wondering if it was worth going back to his body, and that had been before he’d realized that Kara’s influence had been the only reason he’d been loved. Now that he knew that...was there any point in going back to Everglow, let alone Equestria?
It wasn’t as though he could save Thermal Draft; his only hope for that had been to become an alicorn, and that wasn’t going to happen now. The mares of Fail Forward were likely going to lose their lives as well, since even his best efforts had only limited success in fighting Sissel’s clan of monsters. He owed Akna nothing, since she’d come here for her own purposes; at most, taking her back to her body would fulfill any lingering obligation he had to the adlet shaman. And Solvei would be nothing more than an undetectable ghost if he went back anyway.
As for everypony he’d left behind on Equestria...he still didn’t know if the mares he loved – and whom he now knew had been manipulated into loving him – were even still alive. Everyone else likely thought he was dead by now. He might have sent a message to Coat Tail and Tranquila via his magic, but with how long had passed since then, it wouldn’t have been surprising if they were doubtful about whether they’d actually heard him. Besides, by now Celestia and the other alicorns were doubtlessly dismantling everything he’d tried to build.
With his entire life reduced to ashes, was there any reason not to start over here? Eigengrau had been unimpressive in the afterlife that it offered the Night Mare’s faithful, but could it be turned into something better, the sort of eternal reward that ponies deserved?
It was a more attractive offer than Lex had anticipated.
But that didn’t mean he was ready to trust the pony making it.
“If the Lord Marshall is someone you can so easily dismiss,” noted Lex, giving the red-eyed stallion a baleful look, “then it’s not a position that I’m interested in holding.”
“Fair enough,” admitted Sanguine Disposition. “Since you’re royalty, it’s reasonable that you’d have an elevated title and a more expansive portfolio than what’s currently given to this town’s current authority. And of course, you wouldn’t be beholden to me.”
“You’re suggesting that we oversee Eigengrau as partners?” scoffed Lex.
Smiling, Sanguine Disposition sauntered toward him, once again moving closer than was polite, this time without stopping.
“Oh, I’m envisioning a much closer relationship than that.”
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Uh oh danger danger run Lex RUN!
Considering his status as a champion of the Night Mare, I can easily see how Sanguine could dismiss Eigengrau's lord without hesitation, or so he claims. Still, this would explain why White Wraith was so worried about Lex having dinner with Sanguine a few chapters back. If Sanguine has this much authority, then I can only imagine the level of influence he may have in other settlements.
Granted, considering Eigentgrau's location, I can imagine the leather wing's residency here was partially due to the wielder of the Dominata working against him. Still, he seems pretty eager to get Lex on his side which is logical though even with knowledge that his feelings towards Lex was partially due to Kara's own blessing, I have to wonder if he's genuine about his advances or if he's trying a little too hard there. Something that Lex will probably not like, especially in his fragile state of mind.
The gallus this guy. Lex is gonna need a rubber chicken.
11391548 Since when has Lex ever run from danger?
11391809 I suspect that he'll need something a bit stronger than that.
11391793 White Wraith is fully aware that Sanguine Disposition is the real power in Eigengrau (noting as such a few chapters back), which is why he's apparently decided to work with Steel Soul behind the leather wing's back. That said, presuming that Sanguine Disposition was honest in this chapter, he could indeed set Lex up with a new (after)life there. It's entirely possible that the two of them could effect some real change in the place, and possibly the rest of Darkest Night. Given that Lex seems to have lost faith in everything, and is entertaining the possibility, it might happen.
Of course, that means getting involved in the local politics, which in this case means joining the standoff between Sanguine Disposition (as bearer of the Secreta) and Steel Soul (as wielder of the Dominata). To hear the former tell it, the latter is inevitably going to be an enemy, so it makes sense to get the jump on him now. But you have to wonder if that does much for Lex, besides being a necessary burden if he decided to abandon everything and start over in Eigengrau. Of course, that's clearly what Sanguine Disposition wants, for reasons both personal and professional, but it's hard to say if it would really be to Lex's benefit or not.
Let's see what's Lex gonna do.
11392055 In his current state, it's hard to imagine what sort of response he'll have, but surely he'll have one right?
...right?