434 - Chaos Theory
“DISCORD!”
The name was shouted by nearly a dozen voices, most of them raised in surprise. A few were tinged with annoyance, such as Rarity, who was trying to shield herself from where a set of forks and spoons – now sporting stick-thin arms and legs – were using their bodies as makeshift catapults to launch a barrage of blueberries at her, forcing her to duck behind Applejack in an attempt to prevent her coat from being stained. Others yelled his name in worry, such as Shining Armor, who quickly positioned himself in front of his wife, raising a shield around them both…but not in time to avoid being hit in the face by a tray of custards, overturned by the cow leaping wildly around the room, opening its mouth and giving a loud cock-a-doodle-do as it did. The only person who sounded happy to see him was Fluttershy, though her joy was muted by how the violin-playing cat on the table in front of her was somehow managing to produce an entire orchestra’s worth of music, the cacophony making her cover her ears.
Flying upward so that he was hovering over the conference table, Discord laughed wildly. “There now! Isn’t this so much more fun? Honestly, I don’t see how anypony can sit through one of these things without me there to make it bearable.” On saying the last word, he snapped his fingers, and all of a sudden a large grizzly bear appeared behind Fluttershy, smiling happily as it reached down and scooped her up in its paws, giving her a big hug.
Princess Celestia, however, was far less amused. “That’s enough, Discord,” she said firmly, flapping her wings and placing herself directly in front of the meeting’s newest arrival. “We invited you here because we’re in a crisis, but after what happened with Tirek-”
“Oh are you still upset about that?” moaned Discord dramatically. “I gave you flowers afterward and everything! Honestly, I thought that when you invited me to this little get-together that you were willing to let bygones be bygones, but you just can’t seem to lighten up.” Again he snapped his fingers, and Princess Celestia’s eyes widened as her balance was thrown off, causing her to plummet…up to the ceiling, where she landed with a crash, sprawling out as though gravity had suddenly reversed for her.
“Celestia!” yelled Luna, alarmed.
“C’mon, Discord,” pleaded Spike. “No one’s mad at you for what happened with Tirek, so can you knock all this off already?”
Already having leapt to her hooves in alarm, Soft Mane gave Spike an incredulous look. “You know this thing?!”
But Spike didn’t have a chance to reply before Discord turned to look at the half-pony. “Well now that’s just downright rude,” he huffed. “Honestly, when it comes to appearances, you’re the last one here who should be pointing fingers.” A snap was all it took, and suddenly Soft Mane was surrounded by a swarm of disembodied hands, which began to poke her in the face, shoulders, arms, belly, and back, causing her to shriek and start swatting at them, her mother running over to join her a moment later.
Spike stomped a foot, glaring up at Discord. “Hey! Quit messing with my girlfriend!”
Discord blinked at that, a surprised expression crossing his face. “‘Girlfriend’?” he echoed, before bursting into another round of raucous laughter. “Oh that’s adorable! This time the dragon is rushing in to save the fair maiden! Now all we need is a knight in shining armor to be the bad guy!” Another snap of his fingers, and suddenly Shining Armor was teleported out of his force field, appearing five feet above Spike and immediately falling on top of him, sending both of them to the ground on a tangle of limbs.
“Discord, that’s enough!” This time Twilight was the one to get in Discord’s face, giving him a fierce glower. “Put everything back to normal right now! We’re trying to have a serious discuss-ACK!” Twilight only barely managed to dodge out of the way as a cheetah – its coat a radiant silver and its spots a deep shimmering blue – suddenly appeared out of nowhere, leaping at the two of them with its claws out and fangs bared, causing both her and Discord to duck out of the way. “Hey! That was dangerous!”
But rather than give a flippant response, Discord gave the large cat a curious look. “Odd. That one isn’t one of mine.” Snapping his fingers, a selection of tomato slices in a nearby salad bowl suddenly pieced themselves back into a whole tomato, which Discord grabbed and began bouncing like it was a ball, the fruit behaving as though it were made out of rubber. “Nice kitty,” he smirked. “Here’s a little something that you can munch on.”
“Discord!” Wriggling free of the bear hug she’d been caught by, Fluttershy put herself between the draconequus and the cheetah, giving the former a worried look. “You can’t! Tomatoes are toxic to cats!”
“Well he started it!” protested Discord.
Twilight was about to go back Fluttershy up when a whispered voice reached her ears. “Twilight,” came the voice of Willow, though the purrsian was nowhere to be seen. “You’re a spellcaster of considerable ability, aren’t you? Hurry up and banish that protean. I don’t know how long that cheetah I summoned will keep its attention.”
“Huh? Protean?” Trying to keep a handle on what was happening, Twilight looked at where Willow had been seated. But the purrsian’s chair was empty now, and her place at the table was currently occupied by some animated silverware, a trio of knives cutting off pieces of the tablecloth while a half-dozen forks and spoons folded the fabric into origami shapes…which then came to life in turn. Even as Twilight watched, a just-finished cloth crane suddenly flapped its wings, quacking like a duck as it flew over and tried to make a nest in Aisle’s mane. Shaking her head, Twilight closed her eyes and cast a quick spell designed to let her see things that were invisible.
Sure enough, when she opened them again a second later, Willow could be seen hovering in the air nearby a few feet away, giving her an impatient look. “You’re wasting time,” she murmured, shooting a nervous glance at Discord. “Proteans might seem whimsical at first, but their love of anarchy can turn dangerous in an instant.”
Shaking her head again, Twilight looked at where the silver cheetah was trying to paw at Discord, who was now juggling several tomatoes while Fluttershy attempted to intervene, before turning back toward Willow. “Listen to me! I’m not sure what a protean is, but this is Discord! He’s a draconequus, as well as the Lord of Chaos, and while he can be hard to get along with sometimes, he might be our best shot at fixing everything! So please, make that creature you summoned go away before it makes things worse!”
Willow gave Twilight an unhappy look, but only for a moment before she sighed and closed her eyes, holding a paw out in the direction of the cheetah. A second later it vanished, just before several tomatoes impacted where it had been. “You better be right about this,” she murmured once it was done.
Giving Willow a grateful smile, Twilight turned her attention back to the chaos that had engulfed the meeting room. Taking a deep breath, she held it just for a second before raising her voice again. “Discord! We need your help!”
That did the trick, and Discord looked over from where Fluttershy was attempting to chastise him. “What’s that, you say? You need help from moi?”
“Yes,” nodded Twilight earnestly, “that’s why we invited you here to begin with!”
“Oh do go on,” cooed Discord happily, his body suddenly becoming entirely composed of corn on the cob. “I’m all ears.”
“Princess Luna has been placed under a curse!” Twilight pointed at where Luna was attempting to use her telekinesis to bring Celestia down from the ceiling, only for the elder princess to start drifting back upward as soon as her sister released her.
Tilting his head, Discord peered at Luna. “A curse? Hm, I’m not sure I see what you-, wait a minute! She’s not an alicorn anymore!” Discord’s surprised exclamation was accompanied by his every kernel suddenly exploding, showering the room with enough popcorn to leave it piled knee-deep. His body now back to normal, Discord sighed. “Well this is just completely wonderful,” he announced, voice thick with sarcasm. “I was going to have Bessie here jump over her, it would have been sublime,” he explained, indicating where the jumping cow had paused in its leaping to eat some popcorn. “But now the entire joke’s ruined.” Looking over at the conference table, Discord clapped his hands, making all of the animated silverware look at him. “Sorry, but the plan’s a no-go, boys. There’s no need to try and help the spoons run away with the dishes after all.”
The silverware all looked dejected at that, ceasing what they were doing and slumping in place. The white cat looked similarly depressed, ceasing its fiddling with the sound of a needle scratching a record. Only the cow seemed fine with that, scooping up another mouthful of popcorn. “I know, I know,” nodded Discord sympathetically. “We’ll just have to try again another time, maybe with the actual moon, but for now…” He snapped his fingers, and suddenly everything was back to normal, with the silverware all back in place, the popcorn being gone, the animals having disappeared, and everyone back in their proper places.
With that done, Discord turned his attention back to Twilight, his expression turning coy. “So am I to assume that you want me to change Luna here back to her usual self? Because while I can do that, it might be more fun to make a few improvements while I’m at it. Before you say anything, consider this: flippers instead of hooves!” A snap of his fingers was all it took to put Luna in a set of swimfins, causing her to gasp in surprise.
“No, Discord,” snapped Celestia, clearly not amused.
Discord gave her a confident look. “Are you sure? I wouldn’t ask for any upfront payment, I’d just add it to her bill.” This time a duck’s bill appeared on Luna’s face, though thankfully it was made out of cardboard and attached with a rubber band.
“Um, Discord?” piped up Fluttershy. “I appreciate that you want to, um, try and make Princess Luna better than new-”
“More like a living crime against fashion,” huffed Rarity, giving her mane a toss.
“-but we’d really just like for you to change her back into how she used to be, if you don’t mind,” finished Fluttershy.
“Oh fine,” huffed Discord, snapping his fingers again and making the accoutrements he’d placed on Luna disappear. “But if you want me to do this then I want something in return.”
“If this task it will help you do, then tell us what it is that we can give you,” urged Zecora.
But Discord’s answer was directed at Celestia rather than the zebra. “If I turn Luna back into an alicorn, then I want everyone here to let the whole thing with Tirek go,” he answered, crossing his arms as his expression turned indignant. “No more bringing up that one little mistake I made every time you see me.”
“‘One little mistake’?!” snapped Shining Armor. “You betrayed us to the enemy we sent you to stop!”
“See?” Discord pointed at Shining Armor accusingly. “That right there is what I'm talking about! I was tricked by Tirek the same way you were tricked by Chrysalis, but no one’s rubbing your face in it all the time!”
Shining Armor’s nostrils flared. “That’s not-”
“We accept,” announced Princess Celestia. “In exchange for returning Luna to normal, we will all forgive you for your past transgressions with Tirek. Is this acceptable to everypony?” She looked around the room then, and while there were some skeptical or indignant looks, no one objected. Satisfied, Princess Celestia turned back to Discord. “There you have it. Now,” she extended a wing toward Luna, “if you would?”
“Certainly,” replied Discord, his expression smug as he snapped his fingers.
And just like that, Luna’s wings were back.
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One would hope they're smart enough to not do that. Twilight, on the other hoof, I could see doing that.
Too easy, even accounting for Discord, plus the chapter ended right there, so I'm betting the curse won't take kindly to this and will fight back somehow.
This chapter makes me feel that you had quite the bit of fun writing the gags if the little details you added were anything to go by. Made me chuckle at the mental imagery, that's for certain.
Anyways, on to the chapter itself. Discord's antics aside, his presence is quite the game changer though after Spiritus Arcane brought it up, I do wonder if he did truly restore Luna properly.
I'm not doubting Discord's powers but it wouldn't be to hard to see the curse asserting itself in response to Discord's magic or try to at least.
Of course, if Lex's curse does persist, or worse, harm Luna in it's attempt to fight off Discord's magic then this will definitely make everyone hesitate at confronting Lex. Though Discord would probably be livid at being outdone and pop over to Lex to make him remove the curse.
And if Lex learns of who had allowed Discord to be freed, then he'll wish he had cursed Celestia for her perceived ineptitude.
Much too simple, the "solution" is
I smell trouble, hiding in the mist.
But if it was this easy, then I still do wonder
Will 'Questria get Discord to tear Lex asunder?
Too many variables, not enough data
I don't think the plans have e'en made it through beta
But the answers, they will come
'Fore both Lex Legis, and 'Questria
Are very far from dumb.
10028619
The thing I see is that Discord apparently just restored her wings. It remains to be seen if he did anything else like remove the curse. If not, I see things being fine for maybe a short while if not immediately going to crap and the curse will kick back in and remove the new wings, maybe painfully.
10028778
True, though he could circumvent the curse by having those wings be artificial wings that only look like Luna's old wings but not really part of her.
Like a tangible illusion? If that helps make sense.
Discord is now in direct competition to other Realms Deities muscling in on his toy box?
Im half expecting Pinkie to fall over due to so much of a doozy making her freeze up, saying, Im terrified beyond the ability to rationally pronk.
Honestly I can buy discord being able to deal with the curse by removing it with no trouble if he wished, wanted and had incentive to do so.
What is more interesting is how the evil goddess and Lex are going to react to this turn of events when they get wind of it.
right.
10028568 Well, it's not so much a question of smart or stupid as it is of desperation. Lex is a powerful enemy who's been able to best them on their own terms, at least for Celestia and Luna, so you can see them hoping that Discord could just fix it all with a snap of his fingers. On the other hand, it's clear that the memory of what happened with Tirek is still on a lot of minds. So it's hard to predict what'll happen next.
10028597 Well, we'll just have to wait and see.
10028619 You know, it's funny; I initially had a very hard time writing Discord. Things like coherence and interwoven themes are all the opposite of randomness, which is a central component of chaos, so it was difficult to go against the grain and come up with nonsensical things for him to do. Then I remembered something: Discord makes puns. A lot. If he uses any sort of expression or idiom or saying, he'll act in a way that plays up a misinterpretation of it. Like saying that he'll roll his eyes over something and literally roll them like marbles, or being told to leave and turning into a giant leaf. Once I realized that, it became much easier (and even rather fun) to write his character.
As for what will happen with Discord bringing Luna's wings back, well, that one's uncertain at this point. Is he powerful enough to just lift Lex's curse entirely? Or will it actively resist being undone? How would Discord react to the latter possibility (or Lex to the former)? It's hard to predict.
As for Lex finding out that Celestia and Luna let Discord out...I'm curious if he doesn't already know. After all, he seems fairly well up-to-date on most of what's happened in Equestria during his absence.
10028718 Heh, well, I can't say too much without giving things away, but you have to admit it would be rather chaotic for Discord to be able to just solve everything with a snap of his fingers, wouldn't it?
10028873 Well, I've never been fond of interpreting any of the show's characters as deities. Even Discord, despite his power (he has some notable limitations, you'll recall). Of course, depending on your iteration of D&D/Pathfinder, what they can do is wildly up for interpretation as well.
10029216 It would be more helpful if the show had ever given us a solid baseline for how powerful Discord actually was. His initial appearance set the bar very high, then a few things happened that made him seem (at least a little) less powerful then we'd originally assumed, only for the series finale to try and present his powers as being extremely potent again.
10029718 Right? Right??