787 - Expiation Manducation
“This stinks.”
“We know, Spinner,” groaned Shadow. “You’ve only mentioned that...what? A hundred times, now?”
“You were the one who said we should keep talking so that we don’t lose track of each other, remember?” huffed the filidh. “What am I supposed to say? That we should be happy we got off so easy?”
Mystaria sighed. “I’m pretty sure we did. Even if creating light in her shrine was only a minor offense-”
“An offense we performed more than once,” noted Valor dryly.
“-the Night Mare’s faith regards mercy as a sin,” finished Mystaria. “Taking that into account, Lex’s punishment was for we did was lenient.”
Shadow scoffed loudly at that. “Blinding all four of us was lenient?”
“Mysty, before you say anything, be aware that Shadow’s question was rhetorical,” added Spinner. “You do not, I repeat, you do not need to give a rebuttal.”
“But it really was!” protested Mystaria, drawing groans from the other three. “Think about it! The entire point of the tenet against bringing light into the Shrine is so that ponies who come here will show their devotion to the Night Mare by living in darkness. So putting a curse of blindness on us is really just making us do what we were supposed to be doing in the first place! Besides, if performing this penance makes it more likely that Lex’s ceremonial invocation will work-”
“We know, Mysty,” soothed Valor. “That’s why none of us resisted when he put that curse of temporary blindness on us.”
“I still think that was an excuse for him to send us away,” huffed Shadow, one ear swiveling in the direction of the cathedral. It had taken them several minutes to awkwardly shuffle back in the direction of the room they’d been sharing, where they’d been waiting ever since. Even now, from the other side of the Shrine, they could hear the muffled sound of Lex’s voice through the central building’s shut door. “I mean, he could have demanded anything, and instead he went with something which makes it impossible for anyone to see what he’s doing to Woodheart and Drafty.”
“Except for the whole bunch of monsters that call this place home,” noted Spinner.
“All of whom answer to him now that he’s apparently sidelined this place’s Keeper,” shot back Shadow.
Valor sighed. “Your implication being what, Shadow?”
“Just that we’ve left Woodheart alone and defenseless with a guy who has serious self-control problems, and whose girlfriend has been too sick to put out for days.”
Mystaria cringed so hard it was almost audible. “I’m not an expert in the Night Mare’s faith, but as far as I know her traditional practices don’t include any, er, unsavory elements.”
“Plus, he was wearing that self-wounding outfit,” added Valor. “You saw the way every little movement made him bleed? That had to have been painful.”
“Yeah, well, we already know the guy’s a freak,” muttered Shadow. “Maybe that’s something he’s into.”
“Oh give it a rest, would you?” groaned Spinner, waving a hoof in exasperation. “I get that Lex reminds you of your pervert stepdad,” continued the bard, “and it’s not like I’ve forgotten the guy’s faults, but I’m pretty damn sure he’s not the type to ravish a helpless mare.”
“Right, ‘ravish,’” sneered Shadow. “Leave it to a bard to come up with a nicer, more flowery way to say r-”
“More than that,” continued Spinner through gritted teeth, “I’m sick to death of hearing you complain all the time! I miss the old Shadow, the one who knew how to actually laugh at things and enjoyed pulling pranks instead of just endlessly bitching and moaning.”
“You’re not the only one,” agreed Valor.
“Yeah, well, she’ll come back when Woodheart does!” exploded Shadow. “Because right now, our team is down a member, and I seem to be the only one who’s broken up about it!”
“We’re all broken up about it, Shadow!” Spinner stamped her hoof hard enough that it almost made her wince, but she refused to let the pain distract her. “Each and every one of us is upset! But instead of being stuck in a permanent temper tantrum we’re all dealing with it like grown-ups, SO WHY CAN’T YOU?!”
“BECAUSE YOU FOUR ARE ALL I HAVE!!!”
The wind was immediately taken out of Spinner’s sails. “Wait...what?”
“You four are all I have!” repeated Shadow. “I don’t have an adopted family waiting for me back on the plains like Valor! I don’t have a long-lost grandmother at Bright Night or a bunch of temple sisters back in Viljatown like Mysty! I don’t have a familiar or some tree-hugging cult living in the forest like Woodheart! I don’t have a mother I send letters to every time we stop somewhere the way you do, Spinner! My mother cared more about the stallion who beat her than about me!”
A long moment of silence fell then, broken only by Shadow’s heavy breathing.
“You four are my only friends,” she continued at last, her voice much quieter now, but no less intense. “My only f-family...and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for each and every one of you. So when Woodheart...when that bastard hit her with the same mask that killed that adlet instantly...”
She couldn’t finish, taking a shuddering breath. “He didn’t even care! He just spent days brooding, even though he might have killed one of the only people who actually gives a damn about me! He never even said he was sorry! But all anyone keeps talking about is how we need to be more understanding toward him?!”
“Shadow...” moaned Mystaria, heartbroken.
Valor licked her lips self-consciously. “We didn’t mean-”
“Let her finish,” murmured Spinner.
“I want this ceremony thing that Lex is doing to work,” continued Shadow after several seconds, her voice sounding slightly more composed than before. “I want Woodheart back, and I know that this is the best chance of that happening. But even if everything goes exactly the way he said, I’m not going to pretend that makes it all okay.”
Swiveling one ear back toward the cathedral, Shadow slowly shook her head, despite knowing that none of her friends could see it. “He’s the reason Woodheart’s like that in the first place, and if he doesn’t think he needs to ask our forgiveness for that, then I’m not going to forgive him. Maybe you can – fine, whatever, that’s between you and him – but I refuse.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Do you feel better now?” ventured Valor, when it became clear that Shadow wasn’t going to say anything else.
The question earned a snort from the party’s rogue. “Not really.”
Spinner clumsily struck a few chords on her lute. “Want me to sing something soothing for you?”
This time Shadow managed a hollow laugh. “Please do. Then I’ll know exactly where to throw my boots at.”
“Shadow, I’m so sorry,” sniffled Mystaria, shuffling closer to the sound of her friend’s voice. “I wasn’t thinking about how you felt at all!”
“It’s fine, Mysty.”
“No, it isn’t fine! I had no idea...all this time, I’ve been going on about finding my grandmother at Bright Night, and I never even considered-, ow!”
“Of course you didn’t,” rebuked Shadow lightly, lifting her hoof from where she’d lightly whacked Mystaria on the head, the nun’s speaking having made her an easy target. “I didn’t tell you that I had no other family until a few days ago, remember? The night we met that adlet war party?”
“You mean the night you completely went to pieces and we had to tie you up in order to get you to calm down?” supplied Spinner, her grin audible in her voice.
“I’m not surprised you were so good at that,” retorted Shadow, a wry tone in her voice. “A captive audience is the only way you’d ever get anyone to listen to one of your performances.”
“I know we originally came here because we wanted to procure some spending money, Mysty’s desire to visit her grandmother notwithstanding,” interjected Valor. “But I think that once Woodheart’s healed, and all of this is over, we could all use a vacation.”
“Hear hear!” Spinner clapped her hooves. “I’d say we should invite Solvakna, but somehow I don’t see Lex letting her tag along.”
Shadow rolled her sightless eyes. “You know that name’s not going to catch on no matter how many times you use it, right?”
“Come to think of it, where is Akna?” Valor twitched her ears, trying to pick up some trace of the adlet.
“She said she had something to take care of, remember?” Mystaria heaved a sigh as she sat down, glad the tension had been defused. “I guess she’s still doing whatever that is.”
“Yeah, well, it’s taking her an awfully long time,” huffed Spinner. “I mean, since she can see in the dark without any magic, she’s the only one here who can tell us if something happens. Otherwise it’s just what we can hear or what Littleknight sees.”
“Speaking of which, he’s been kind of quiet for a while now,” noted Mystaria. “Valor, is he asleep?”
“...why’re you asking me?”
“Why am I...huh?” sputtered Mystaria. “Lex tossed him to you!”
“Sure, at first,” countered the brawny earth mare. “But then I passed him to Shadow when he was getting ready to curse us.”
“And I passed him to Spinner,” replied Shadow quickly.
“Well don’t look at me,” answered Spinner, before pausing. “Oh come on, that doesn’t even get a pity laugh?”
“Someone help me get my boots off,” muttered Shadow darkly.
“Ugh, fine,” huffed the filidh. “Look, I had Littleknight on the way back here, but when we sat down I told him to go cuddle up with Valor.”
“Yeah, and when he didn’t arrive I thought he had decided to stay with you!”
“Why would he stay with me? You’re the one who can turn into an animal, which is what Woodheart keeps trying to do! I thought he’d like you better!”
“Girls! Girls!” It took a moment for Mystaria to quiet everyone down. “So basically, no one’s seen, er, heard Littleknight since we got back here?”
“Apparently.”
“Seems that way.”
“Great, just great.” Shadow clamored back to her hooves. “We need to go find him, before this turns into one of those things where we get Woodheart back only to find that now we need to go on another rescue mission.”
“At least we’d be living up to our usual Fail Forward standard,” quipped Spinner.
“He can’t have snuck back into the cathedral.” Mystaria’s tension was audible. “We heard Lex close the door behind us.”
“I think we should-”
But Valor’s statement was cut off as a persistent meeping reached their eyes, followed by a gruff bark.
“Is...he talking to that seven-headed croco-dog thing outside?” muttered Spinner.
“I don’t-”
Spinner, however, was likewise unable to finish her thought, as the sepulchral voice of the Keeper reached her ears.
“Move aside, beast, or I’ll deal with you next.”
Sequestered in an empty building on the other side of the Shrine, Akna – once again in her humanoid form – took a deep breath.
It felt almost wrong to think of herself as Akna, knowing that L-, that her master had called her Solvei before. It was like she was defying him by using her other name. Yet that small act of rebellion sent a visceral rush through her, immediately followed by a stinging guilt.
Mas-, no, Lex-, no, MASTER has done so much for me! He deserves my loyalty!
But even that thought had a discordant element to it, undercut by a conflicting web of feelings that refused to be so easily resolved.
So instead, Akna ignored them, finding solace in a different line of reasoning:
It helps to think of myself as Akna for this.
Master was busy now, and would be for a while as he called upon the Night Mare to aid Woodheart and his mate. That he would be successful wasn’t in doubt; as Solvei, she had complete faith in his abilities, and as Akna she knew that the Night Mare would do right by her champion...and his unborn child. But more importantly, Master had allowed her to exempt herself from the ceremony when she’d told him what she wanted to do, pausing for a long moment before giving her permission.
Though now, part of her wished he’d refused her request, a twinge of unease running through down her spine.
Frowning, Akna shook her head, forcing her anxiety away. No, this has to be done. Better to finish it now while Master doesn’t need me.
Holding fast to that thought, Akna steeled her resolved as she looked down...
At herself.
Or rather, at Solvei, the winter wolf’s dead body lying in front of her.
Mystaria’s preservation magic meant that Solvei’s body was still perfectly maintained – other than the horrific wound in her chest – and Akna’s hands trembled as she reached forward to tentatively touch the undamaged portion of the winter wolf’s fur, relieved to feel how cold it still was. That was one thing that adlets and winter wolves had in common; once death set in, their bodies would start growing warmer as they lost frigidity. I don’t think I could do this if my-, her body was warm.
It was a small favor. As a shaman among her people, Akna knew what she had to do, but winter wolves didn’t have this tradition. Reconciling this with the part of her that was Solvei was therefore more difficult than she’d thought; it was only when she’d silently reassured herself that this would make things easier for her master – relieving him of the burden of figuring out what to do with Solvei’s body – that she’d managed to convince herself to go through with it.
Taking a deep breath, Akna said a quiet prayer to the Night Mare, substituting the goddess’s name for that of her ancestors as she recited the funerary observances.
Then she began to prepare Solvei’s body to be eaten.
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inb4 everything turn into chaos, only thing I am sure of is that Littleknight will try a "rescue".
Fail forward dynamics is fun in it own way and their antagonism toward Lex make sense, Appearances are everything and Lex do look like a rogue and his social awkwardness don't help no matter how much he help them. First impressions and all of that.
Akna/Slovei preparing to eat Slovie dead meat is wild tho and completely in character but I just sidelined the body after a few chapters, there was no way I could have caught that Kudos to you man, It made me crack up like damn that was morbidly hilarious.
The Keeper might have gone down against Lex but he's evidently not out. Fail Forward will undoubtedly believe that he's here to sabotage Lex and react accordingly but fighting in complete darkness will be near impossible for them so any potential fight will be problematic to say the least.
Also, it seems Akna and Solvei are becoming more and more indistinct from each other given how 'Solvei' didn't protest 'Akna' intent to follow through with the adlet's method of dealing with the deceased.
Unoh, Lex is going to have to deal with Interuptus Caernabogus, while Akna is disposing of resources he so needs?
11474193 In terms of what they can actually do, Fail Forward's options are extremely limited if the Keeper pushes a fight. Hopefully it won't come to that, because at this point there's no one there to save them. Maybe they'll be able to defuse the situation peacefully?
As for Akna/Solvei...it does seem like she's starting to integrate her two souls into one, doesn't it? Ideally that will resolve things for her, but it's still questionable how that will end for them/her. Of course, she still has Lex's cutie mark on her flank, so it may not matter too much in terms of practical differences.
11474317 Well, Lex did sign off on what Akna is doing, so presumably he's fine with it...or at least, couldn't find a good reason to deny her.
11473990 I'm quite tickled that you got a laugh out of that last part of the chapter! "Invisible janitors" have always made me roll my eyes, particularly since questions of what becomes of a body after someone dies tends to be a major issue of cultural practices for most people. So while Solvei's dead body might have been a non-issue in terms of practicality, for Lex and Akna/Solvei, it's not something they can just forget about. But since Akna has her own rituals for what you do with your honored dead, well...Lex seems to be content to let her take care of it (though I suspect that he finds the subject uncomfortable enough that he's fine letting her handle it).
As for Fail Forward, they continue to be a group-sized version of The Odd Couple, though when you think about it most adventurers are probably somewhat dysfunctional in various ways. Who else makes a career out of exploring dangerous, monster-filled locales in hope of finding treasure? I suspect that if we had life tables for adventurers under the d20 rules, they'd be rather discouraging (though when you compare them to the wealth-by-level tables, that might explain why people keep taking up that career).
Of course, it says something that even they think that Lex is out there. Not coincidentally, he's a lot more powerful than they are, so maybe there's a scale of dysfunction-to-power in that regard.