418 - Vox Ponepuli
His public address finished at last, Lex resisted the urge to fold his ears back and bolt from the station platform as fast as he could.
As it was, he descended the steps down to ground level – barely noticing Feather Duster falling in behind him silently – feeling thoroughly wretched. Despite the fact that the majority of the crowd was smiling and nodding at him as he passed, platitudes and praises spilling from their lips, none of it brought Lex any comfort. Quite the opposite. Although Sonata and Aria had assured him that everypony was appreciative of the fact that he’d taken the time to recognize their contributions and explain his side of what had happened over the last few days, Lex’s instincts were insisting that wasn’t the case. Nor were they alone in doing so…
They’re not pleased because you took the time to congratulate them for everything they’ve done, hissed the voiceless words from his shadow. They simply enjoyed watching you confess to your numerous shortcomings and limitations. Your presence offends them so much that the only thing about you they like is seeing you humiliated, just like when you were a colt.
Lex struggled to keep his feelings in check as he moved past the crowd, doing his best to ignore everypony’s plaudits and his tulpa’s vicious taunts in equal measure as he made his way toward where he’d seen Ribbon Cutter. Silently, he reminded himself that he’d always intended to delegate various tasks to competent agents, since an active and engaged government needed a large staff in order to function at optimal capacity. He forced himself to remember that the Night Mare had previously told him that he was trying to do too much on his own. Clinging to those thoughts, Lex tried to convince himself that they were what his address had been in service to.
But in his heart, he knew it was a lie.
The ponies he’d congratulated hadn’t been personnel carefully selected for jobs whose scope had been known ahead of time. Rather, they’d been the ponies who’d stepped up when he’d lacked the strength or the foresight or resources to do what needed to be done, something which they never should have had to do in the first place. He’d assumed authority so as to better secure the welfare of everypony, not put them in a position where they needed to take action to buttress his own inadequacies. Because of his lack of ability, doctors had been forced to take up arms against monsters, children had needed to face down the trained guards, and everypony was still living in squalid conditions. The ones who were still living at all…
His thoughts swirling with recrimination and self-loathing, Lex almost walked right into Ribbon Cutter before he noticed her. Oblivious to his inner turmoil, she smiled at him, raising a hoof in greeting. “That was an impressive speech. I didn’t-”
“What are you doing here?” he snapped. “Has something happened in Tall Tale?”
Taken aback at the harsh tone, Ribbon’s smile fell from her face. “N-no. Everything’s fine. I just wanted to see how things were going here. A lot of the ponies in Tall Tale have friends and family in Vanhoover, and rumors are starting to spread about what’s been happening, especially after what happened with the princesses.”
Although her explanation was completely innocuous, Lex couldn’t help but feel defensive, his eyes narrowing. But he didn’t have a chance to say anything as River – who had apparently been conversing with Ribbon when he’d arrived – cleared her throat pointedly. “Maybe this isn’t the best place to have this discussion,” she noted. “Why don’t we give everypony here a chance to digest everything you’ve said and retire to my manor for now?”
As if sensing her cue, Feather Duster stepped around so she was just inside of Lex’s peripheral vision. “Should I fetch Miss Dusk and Miss Blaze?” she asked quietly, keeping her eyes on the ground.
The question made Lex’s frown morph into a pained grimace, glancing back over at the train platform…
After he’d finished acknowledging the deeds of Fruit Crunch and his friends, Lex had proceeded to explain the events of the last few days to everypony, holding very little back. He had started by telling them the truth about Block Party, about how the maligned former commander of the camp had actually been the victim of a body-snatching monster, one that Lex had subsequently tracked down and destroyed…although too late to save the five ponies that he’d sent into Vanhoover. Pointedly, he’d omitted how Nosey had also been a victim of possession, not wanting to make a public spectacle out of her now that her recovery was improving.
After that, he’d moved on to what had happened with the princesses. As much as it had galled him to do so, Lex had confessed to how Severance had murdered Silhouette of its own accord, condemning the weapon’s actions even as he made no mention of its connection to the Night Mare. He then stressed how he’d tried to talk Celestia and Luna down, offering to make amends for what had happened – he made sure not to specify that he’d offered to bring Silhouette back to life; even so, he’d felt the barbed wire around his foreleg twist unhappily at his unrepentant reminder of how he’d offered to use the Night Mare’s gift on the worshiper of a competing would-be deity – and how they’d spurned his call for peace. Lastly, he told everyone how he’d cursed Luna both for her relentless aggression and her more general failure to secure everypony’s safety and well-being (leaving out the part where Severance had pushed the issue, lest it slay her) after which he’d banished the scythe from Equestria for what it had done.
Once he’d let all of that out, Lex had offered to receive anypony’s questions, making sure (at Sonata’s direction) to assure them that he would take no offense and offer no punishment regardless of what was asked of him. He’d expected the first question thrown at him to be how he could have been so irresponsible as to let his own weapon murder somepony. Or perhaps what his timetable was for securing better living conditions for everyone.
He hadn’t expected it to be about his love life.
“Did you really just dump those two?” called a teenage pegasus from the crowd, her wings flapping in agitation. “Right here in front of everypony?”
“What about that other mare? The mousey-looking one with the glasses?” called a rather heavyset unicorn mare at the back of the crowd, giving him a disapproving look. “Did she know that you were going to do that to her?”
“Does that mean you don’t mind if someone else asks them out?” That one came from an older-looking earth stallion, grinning openly at the prospect.
“That’s gross, Potboiler,” called an orange mare that Lex belatedly recognized as being Peachy Keen, idly noting that Spit Polish was right next to her, her hoof around his middle. “You’re old enough to be their dad!”
“Actually,” called another unicorn mare, this one having a reedy frame and frizzled mane. “If they really are the Sirens, that would make them even older than the princesses.”
“Whaddaya mean ‘if’ they’re the Sirens?” snorted a rickety old pegasus mare. “You saw that fella there do a big magic lightshow to make a beauty outta that one with the pigtails!”
The exchange had continued from there, leaving Lex utterly aghast at where everypony’s attention was focused. But perhaps sensing that he was regretting having assured everyone that he wouldn’t take offense at their questions, Sonata had strode up next to him. “Don’t worry,” she’d assured him with a wink. “I totes got this.”
Lex hadn’t been given a chance to ask what she meant before she plunged ahead. “We knew,” she announced, instantly turning all eyes toward her. “And we’re okay with it.”
“Really?!” gasped the teenage pegasus that had asked the initial question, her expression rapt.
“Absolutely,” purred Aria, sauntering up on Lex’s other side. “After all, just because we’re not boyfriend and girlfriends doesn’t mean we can’t have any fun.” She punctuated the statement with a swing of her hips, lightly nudging him.
For some reason, that had gotten a big reaction out of the crowd, complete with whistles and catcalls, leaving Lex mystified. But he’d shaken off his shock quickly, giving Aria a reproachful look and a harsh whisper. “Do not impugn the sanctity of my vow!” His rebuke was only partially out of worry about what the Night Mare would do if they made his pledge look empty; no matter how reluctantly he gave them, or how unpleasant they were, Lex took his oaths extremely seriously.
Fortunately, his spell had still been active, carrying his words to Sonata as well. “But we’re totes not acting like nothing’s changed,” she assured everyone. “We’re just, like, in a different arrangement now.”
Quite a few pairs of eyes widened at that. “What kind of arrangement?” called that stallion, Potboiler.
“I dunno if we should tell you,” pouted Aria, suddenly coquettish. “It’s not really the sort of thing you can talk to just anypony about.”
At that point large swaths of the crowd had started talking at once, practically falling over themselves to assure Aria and Sonata both that they were perfectly trustworthy and deserved to be taken into her confidence. But rather than looking disgusted at how shallow everyone was being – which was Lex’s reaction – Sonata and Aria had hopped down from the platform in unison, moving forward to meet with them. “Leave this part to us,” Sonata had whispered to him a moment later. “You did a super-awesome job. We’ll do the rest.”
“And don’t worry,” came Aria’s whisper a moment later. “We’ll make sure everyone knows that your vow is plenty serious.”
Needless to say, that had left Lex feeling less than reassured. But by that point his misery had been reaching its peak, and he hadn’t been able to find it within himself to keep addressing everyone. If they were more interested in gossip and salaciousness than in anything substantive, that was their prerogative. For his part, Lex had been more than happy to bring the entire sordid affair to a close…
The crowd had already begun to thin out in the few minutes since then, with ponies breaking off into smaller groups and heading back to their tents and lean-tos. The doctors made their way as a group back toward the medical tents at the far end of the camp. And Fruit Crunch and his friends waved at him before heading south, apparently intent on going to the river. But Lex kept his eyes on the group of ponies – mostly mares, for some reason – surrounding Sonata and Aria now.
Even as he watched, Aria, now too far away for him to hear her, said something – his spell was still active, and she and Sonata were still within its range, but she was apparently speaking above a whisper now, which meant it wouldn’t transmit her words to him – and a second later there was a series of scandalized squeals from the mares surrounding her. More than a few glanced around until they saw him, their cheeks red as they nudged their neighbors and pointed in his direction.
Grimacing, Lex turned away. “Wait until they finish with…whatever they’re doing. Then tell them where we’ve gone.”
Feather Duster nodded demurely. “Yes, sir.”
Suddenly finding himself eager to be away from all of this, Lex looked back at River. “Let’s go,” he ordered her curtly. He would have simply started walking, but he’d never actually been to her residence before.
“Of course,” she replied immediately, turning and heading northwest. “I’ll have the servants prepare a room for you, since that wreck of a station isn’t useable anymore. Oh, and I suppose you’ll be needing one too, Ribbon.”
“Thanks for noticing,” chuckled the other mare with a roll of her eyes, before turning her attention to Lex. “Listen, if you don’t mind I wanted to ask a few more questions about what happ-, Lex?”
But he wasn’t listening anymore, having suddenly stopped in place. “The two of you go ahead. I’ll be there shortly.”
Ribbon blinked at the abrupt dismissal. “But-”
“Certainly,” cut in River. “I’ll have a meal prepared for when you arrive.” Turning, she all but shoved Ribbon, leading the other mare away despite her protests.
Lex, however, didn’t even hear them go. At that moment his complete attention was focused on a nearby lean-to containing a single occupant. Slowly, he made his way over to it. “There you are.”
Smiling slightly, Nosey adjusted her glasses. “Hey, Lex.”
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Well, there's more stuff to add to the rumor mill, though the fact that the siren sisters are adding to it, while to theirs and Lex's benefit, is amusing in itself.
Still, overall things are on the upside save for Lex's insecurities compounded by the tulpa's words but Lex has shrugged off its words before so he should be fine though I'm sure the tulpa will have more fuel to add to the fire should his...talk with Nosey go south. Hopefully not, but I'm worried that the smile Nosey is giving him is one of resignation.
Is there any way of granting that Tulpa Mercy With Extreme Prejudice? The only reason for such an entity to exist is if the villain wanted an easy way for the hero to do all the evil for them and destroy everything themselves?
Destroy Everything. Starting with the Tulpa.
9957733 Lex simply doesn't understand the appeal of gossip or any other form of "entertainment news." While he at least has some intellectual grasp on why people might want to indulge themselves with something fun, he can't grasp how it could possibly be fun to inquire about the details of someone else's life. The fact that other people are intensely interested in such things never fails to surprise him. By contrast, the Sirens love being the center of attention, and instinctively know how to milk such situations for all they're worth. Hence the girls squealing over whatever lurid detail Aria shared with them.
This is, once again, a good bit of teamwork on their part, since Lex is feeling incredibly insecure after what just happened (as you correctly noted), to the point where his tulpa is tormenting him again. Maybe some day he'll learn how to control that thing? Hopefully, talking to the third of the girls he loves will bring him back to a better place...presuming that Nosey's not about to drop some new unpleasantness on him.
9957849 Unfortunately, Lex's tulpa is formed out of his own fears, doubts, and insecurities, given quasi-independence by the Night Mare herself. She's let Lex know that he can take control of it (which he's done at least once, albeit in a fashion that we still don't know about), and he hopes that he can reintegrate it into his consciousness, but you can't really destroy your own worst thoughts and feelings about yourself.
9958037
You can.