Lateral Movement

by Alzrius

835 - Reverting to Type

Shame. Humiliation. Disgust.

Nenet’s emotions ran across Lex’s consciousness as the sphinx stared at her spiked tail mournfully, telegraphing her state of mind in a way he never would have been able to ascertain otherwise. Even as he watched, her hindmost extremity twitched slightly, and she cringed at the sight, wincing as though she expected to be stung by the bony protrusions. Immediately, Lex registered her sense of self diminishing even further, turning into complete and utter self-loathing-

Master! Solvei’s mindset, by contrast, was a jumble of uncertainty, irritation, and – rather strangely – jealousy. Are you listening to me?

Yes, and my answer remains unchanged. You will stay here with me, while Nenet recovers my vertebrae on her own.

Frustration overrode Solvei’s other emotions then, but only for a moment as she drew in a deep breath, forcing herself to remain calm. Then what about sending some ice elementals to go with her? Or summoning Nisha to help her out?

Had he been corporeal, Lex would have sneered at the implication that he hadn’t considered those ideas. Neither of those are viable options. My cryomantic magic is the same as yours, which means that without external augmentation – which neither of us are in a state to provide – it can’t summon an elemental of any meaningful strength, nor do so for any significant duration.

Solvei frowned. Then Nisha-

Nor can I call upon the Night Mare to send Nisha, or any other of her servants, to my side. Not when I expended the bulk of my divine magic during my fight against Hvitdod...or whatever facsimile of Hvitdod that was. He couldn’t help but glance back at the massive chasm then, still not entirely satisfied with what Soft Whisper had told him.

But that was an issue to be dealt with later. For now, he needed to assuage Solvei’s temperament so that she could help him deal with whatever crisis Nenet was having. The sphinx was his only chance to avoid dying a second time, but seeing what her transformation had done to her tail – which apparently indicated that her father was a manticore, rather than a sphinx – had completely and utterly destroyed what little self-confidence she had.

Lex had struggled against despair often enough to know that, given Nenet’s current disposition, she’d have no chance of recovering his stolen spine. Not when whatever monstrous being that she called “Mother” was in possession of it. As she was right now, Lex wouldn’t have trusted the sphinx to complete a mission with no opposition whatsoever, let alone against a foe that was likely a match for Hvitdod.

But even with their soul-bond, Lex knew better than to think that he could buoy Nenet’s self-esteem on his own.

For that, he needed Solvei, which meant erasing her doubts so that she could erase Nenet’s.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to maintain this form by the time my divine spells replenish themselves, he continued. But even if I am, and I summon Nisha again, the odds of her being able to reach wherever Paska fled to in time to make any sort of substantive contribution to Nenet’s mission are exceedingly small.

What about... Solvei glanced back at where Yotimo and the others were resting, apparently considering them, only for her ears to immediately fold back as she bit her lip.

There’s no one who can go with her, concluded Lex. Which is why-

I can! retorted Solvei hotly. Master, it makes more sense if she and I do this together! She’s too used to being small and powerless to do this by herself! As Solvei, I was taught how to hunt by my family, and as Akna I was trained in the basics of fighting! Even if I’m still injured, I can help!

His impatience growing, Lex had to struggle to keep from rebuking her. Nenet has the ability to fly, and since it will be a day before you can resume your mist form, that means that she’ll be able to traverse what will likely be a considerable distance at a much faster rate than you-

My seracs will be able to keep up with her, no matter how bad the terrain gets! Or I can shrink down and she can carry me! Or-

You’re a liability the way you are now.

Solvei recoiled, her eyes widening. ...what?

You’re wounded, most of your magic is expended, and you’d only slow Nenet down. If you went with her as you are now, you’d be useless at best. And if you died again...

Just the thought was enough to make the edges of his shadow-form twitch and writhe in agitation, remembering the last time she’d been killed before. He wouldn’t let that happen a second time, not because of how painful it had been, but because the prospect of losing Solvei again – even temporarily – wasn’t something he could bring himself to consider.

Not now that he’d finally been able to admit, even if only to himself, how much she meant to him.

...I don’t care...

Hm?

I don’t care if I die again! Stamping her foot, Solvei glared at him, lips curled back in a snarl. Not if it means you get to live! You say I’m a liability, but I could still help Nenet out by serving as a distraction! Or keep watch while she’s sneaking in! Or throwing myself between her and an enemy!

ABSOLUTELY NOT! roared Lex.

But Solvei wasn’t cowed by his anger, instead growling at him. WHY NOT?! If I die, you can find a way to bring me back again, but if you die then it’s over for me! And maybe Nenet too! So why can’t I lay down my life to save yours?!

BECAUSE THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANT!

WELL WHAT ABOUT WHAT I WANT?!

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU WANT! howled Lex, the last of his self-control vanishing. I AM YOUR MASTER, AND THAT MEANS YOU SERVE ME! YOU SERVE ME! WHEN OUR WISHES CONFLICT, MINE OVERRIDE YOURS! EVERY TIME! WITHOUT FAIL! HOW ARE YOU TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND THAT?!

Solvei’s answer was no answer at all, lowering her head until her hair hid her eyes, her hands clenched into fists and her teeth grinding so hard it was audible as she stared at the ground, her breathing irregular and her shoulders jumping slightly.

...understood...Master... she replied at last, her emotional state too chaotic for him to properly register. ...do I have your permission to go and check on Yotimo and the others?

It was a nonsensical request, given that she’d just finished making sure the adlets were alright, but all of a sudden he couldn’t stand the sight of her.

Go.

She took off before he’d even finished giving the order, turning and sprinting away as she brought one forearm up to her face, rubbing it across her eyes as her breathing turned into a sob...

Lex watched her go. It was only as she darted out of visual range that his rage started to abate, and he realized just how badly he’d screwed things up.

What had come over him? Why had he gotten so angry? He’d needed to elucidate his decisions so as to dispel Solvei’s doubts, leaving her free to raise Nenet’s morale. Instead, all he’d done was upset her so badly that she was almost as distressed as the sphinx was. Now Nenet-

It’s my fault.

The telepathic communique wasn’t Solvei’s, causing Lex to glance at his newest servitor. It was only when his eyes met the sphinx’s and she shuddered, looking down, that he realized she’d been watching the last part of the exchange, when Solvei had started growling at him before turning and running away in tears.

It’s all my fault, repeated Nenet. They love each other, but now they’re fighting because of me. She’s upset because she has to work with something so disgusting, and he’s wishing that he’d never made a bond with something as polluted as I am.

You’re wrong.

His rejoinder caused Nenet to shriek in surprise, jumping up onto all fours as her tail thrashed. “Huh?! Wh-what just...?”

It’s telepathy, Lex explained wearily. As part of our connection, we can communicate like this. You inadvertently broadcast your thoughts just now. She’d also confirmed that she apparently wasn’t able to overhear his conversation with Solvei, and the reverse was likely true as well.

But that was no surprise. His servants could communicate with him because they were bound to him. They had no such connection to each other, and so naturally possessed no corresponding ability to speak into each other’s minds, and probably lacked the ability to sense each other’s emotions, location, and status as well.

“I’m sorry,” murmured Nenet, sinking back down into a crouch. “You wanted me to recover your spine, and here I can’t even control my thoughts properly.”

She shuddered as her eyes returned to her tail, her emotional state turning morose again. “I guess a tainted sphinx is no good at all, huh?”

Lex took a moment to consider his words carefully, fully aware that he was on his own now as far as raising Nenet’s confidence went. He’d talked her into accepting becoming his; he could talk her into believing in herself now. “I’m sympathetic to your shame at being the product of miscegeny-”

That’s not what it is.

Her eyes widened as the thought was broadcast, and he registered brief panic from her then. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt you! I just...that thought slipped out, and-, er, wait, did you hear that to begin with? Can you hear me now?

Yes, to both questions, snapped Lex.

He hadn’t been particularly annoyed by her interruption, but Nenet reacted as though he’d screamed at her, pressing her belly to the ground and covering her head with her paws. “I’m sorry!” she wailed. “I won’t do it again! Please don’t hurt my wings!”

Under other circumstances, the abject begging – with its underlying premise that he was no different from the monsters who’d previously tortured her – would have angered him. But he kept a tight rein on his emotions now, his voice level as he answered her. “I told you before that you would never have to suffer like that again. Did you think I was lying?”

She grimaced, and he wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not as shame overrode her fear. “No, but...”

“But what?”

“...but you made that promise when you thought I was going to become a real sphinx, and not...” – she gestured at her tail – “contaminated.”

He frowned inwardly at that. It was rapidly obvious that there was more that was upsetting her beyond having an impure lineage. “...you said before it wasn’t that you were the product of miscegeny that’s making you hate yourself. What did you mean by that?”

Slowly, as though only tentatively daring to believe that she wasn’t about to be beaten, Nenet relaxed her posture, uncovering her head as she slowly raised her ears from where they’d been flattened against the top of her head. “Do you know about the different breeds of sphinxes?”

“No.”

“There are four kinds,” explained Nenet, her voice morose. “I mean, I’ve read some stuff about mutations and variants, but there are four basic types. The females – or gynosphinxes – are the only one of our sex. The others – the androsphinxes, criosphinxes, and hieracosphinxes – are all male.”

Lex grunted at that. He’d heard stories of sphinxes back on Equestria, though they’d never been more than folktales, and none of them had mentioned anything about different breeds. Certainly not with such a high degree of sexual dimorphism.

“While female offspring of sphinx pairings are always gynosphinxes, the males take after the father’s type,” continued Nenet. “Since androsphinxes are smartest, handsomest, and most magically gifted of the three, they’re a gynosphinx’s ideal mate. Criosphinxes are a distant second; they’re stupid and greedy, but if a gynosphinx can’t find an androsphinx – or can’t convince them to mate with her, since androsphinxes challenge themselves to rise above worldly desires – they’re considered an acceptable alternative.”

Pausing, a shudder ran down her spine. “Hieracosphinxes are the worst. They’re not much better than animals, and while criosphinxes will at least offer treasure and compliments to try and entice a gynosphinx, hieracosphinxes only know how to mate by force.”

She glanced back at her tail again, as though confirming it was still there. “But even they’re better than manticores! A gynosphinx born of a hieracosphinx is still a real sphinx, and can try and mate with an androsphinx when she grows up! But a gynosphinx born with a tail like this” – she gestures at the spiked appendage protruding from her hindquarters – “is polluted! No androsphinx would want them! Even a criosphinx would be too good! The best they can hope for is being hieraco-bait!”

She gave a low sob then. “I was sure my father was an androsphinx. Even if they turn their nose up at earthly desires, Mother is as beautiful as she is brilliant, so it would have been easy for her to seduce even one of them. And since she has total control over her fecundity, she can breed true with anything. That’s how she has so many children.”

Lex narrowed his eyes at that, thinking back to the crossbreeding spell that was among the magic that Kara had given him.

Oblivious to his suspicions, Nenet sniffled. “I knew she’d been with a manticore, since Blat was one of my siblings. But I never thought...it never occurred to me that I...”

She shook her head then, her lower lip trembling. “I know I said I wanted you to resurrect my father, but that’s the last thing I want now. Manticores can barely talk, let alone value learning. They don’t care about studying art, or history, or poetry, or astronomy, or any of the things that I always dreamed my father would teach me...”

She started weeping again then, and it took Lex a moment to realize that she was done...and that she didn’t seem to be feeling any better for what she’d said.

“Nenet, listen to me...I don’t have a background in art or poetry, but I’m well-versed in numerous scientific and magical disciplines. If you can recover my vertebrae, I’ll teach you everything I know.”

“Why bother?” she whimpered. “It’s not like I’ll have anyone to pass that knowledge on to. I’m broken!”

That struck a chord in Lex, reminding him of when he’d first grasped that his inability to understand others meant that there was something wrong with him. It was a realization that he’d never truly recovered from...but unlike Nenet, he had years of experience dealing with that. And he’d had the Night Mare’s help coming to terms with it.

“Just because you’re broken doesn’t mean you can’t be useful.”

“Huh?” Her cheeks stained with tears, Nenet looked up at him. “Yes, it does. If something’s defective, then it’s useless.”

“My life has been a testament to the contrary,” retorted Lex. “And even Solvei” – he paused, feeling a pang run through him then – “even Solvei knows what it’s like to be found wanting compared to others of her kind...”

He shook that off, knowing he needed to focus. “Even if you’re broken, you can still serve a purpose. My purpose.”

Nenet blinked at that. “Yours?”

I’ll tell you all about it while you fly to your mother’s location, promised Lex, switching to telepathy.

And by the time you arrive, you’ll know that your service to me will more than make up for any defects that you have.

Author's Note:

With Nenet's confidence shattered, and Solvei furious at being sidelined, Lex struggles to keep things together!

Has he managed to raise Nenet's confidence as she embarks on her mission to save him? Or will she falter when she tries to get his spine back from her mother?

Comments

[Not so New Brony]

Seems Lex is getting better at baring himself to others. Granted, it took forming a soul bond which would explain why he's willing to share anything so personal with Nenet. On the opposite end however, his trauma of losing Solvei the first time affected his judgement with Solvei and Akna's desire to go with Nenet. Though I suppose the argument to use herself as a sacrificial decoy to ensure Nenet's success was not a good one given Lex's fear of losing her again.

[Booster Spice]

Lex is really going to have to go through his spell collection with a full set of coloured markers after, to see what can be reacted and combined with others, especially with meta builds and power level shifts?

Solvei got a few minutes to set up her ride, maybe even taking two depending on how many she can handle at once or if its zero cost, as having two will let her staircase more areas than just one?

And then if Lex chases after her, Nenet will only have to move that much less back to him with the boobytrapped item for him to try regenerating?

Pity he cant drop Aknas Blasphemy on Mother.

[Alzrius]

11599902 Unlike with Solvei, whose bonding was an accident that Lex had to learn how to deal with, he went into his bond with Nenet with open eyes, knowing what to expect. To that end, it's perhaps unsurprising that he's resolved himself to be more open with her, since now they're joined together in a manner that's both deeply personal and permanent beyond death.

That's contrasted with how much trouble he's having dealing with his relationship with Solvei, which is still evolving. He's now able to admit that he loves her, and that it's not just the sort of affection one has for a pet or a prized possession, but at the same time he feels ashamed of that. Partially because she's not a pony, and he's still deeply uncomfortable with the idea of multi-racial couples, and also because he knows that Solvei's feelings are the product of Kara's blessing...and that he hasn't been able to bring himself to tell Solvei that. So he is, once again, struggling to figure out what to do, and bungling it up.

Naturally, this led to his lashing out at Solvei when she insisted on putting herself in danger for his sake. Almost anyone else would have just said "I won't let you do that, because I'd rather risk dying than risk losing you again" or something like that. But Lex did what he always does, and fell back on the more structured relationships that help him to define interpersonal interaction, angrily pointing out how he's her master, so his wishes trump hers, and she should shut up and accept that.

What a shock that she didn't take that very well.

[Alzrius]

11600131 Solvei's trailing after Nenet on her own is a non-starter, unfortunately, since Lex can sense both her distance from him and has the ability to teleport her back to his side with a thought. Being a goddess of tyranny, it's little surprise that the unequal nature of their soul-bond means that Lex has Solvei (and now Nenet too) on a leash and fully monitored. All the better to make sure that they cannot defy their master.