Sweet and Sour Flare - Part 2
Last we left off, the Mane Six have been captured by a shockwave created by some weapon made of technology, not magic. Princesses Celestia and Luna sent us, the Noble Six (Crimson Flare Gun, Red Engineer, Crystal Iceblast, Blaze Goldheart, Psyche Illusion, and Aquatic Armor), along with Spike the dragon to go rescue them. We're at Chaos Mountain, Discord's citadel, until he's been 'stoned'. Heh! Stoned Discord! We journeyed through and over the Everfree Forest and went inside the mountains, but we ran into some complications along the way, and by complications, I mean I’m the only one left. NO! They’re not dead, but they did abandon me and left me for dead, or did they? This mountain was created by Discord, did I not say that? But being alone for so long made be loco, amigo. I found the Mane Six, but they talked smack about me. They ranted at me, and put me down, which broke one of my internal organs. Discord has returned, but not fully, as a hologram. He's still in his statue, but some 'doctor' put a hologram device on the statue so Discord's spirit can be free from the statue, but he can't use his powers. Discord brainwashes me, and here's where we left off. I hope you enjoy the final chapter of Book 1! Here we go!
"Hello? HELLO?! WHOEVER'S IN CHARGE HERE, LET US OUT!" Rainbow Dash yelled from inside of a prison cell along with her friends. Rainbow Dash tried pulling the bars, kicking them, and knocking into them, but they didn't even budge.
"Forget it, Rainbow. We're trapped in here like pigs in a pen." AppleJack said. Pinkie Pie chuckled as she thought about a pig inside of a pen. No, not that pen, a writing pen.
"How could this happen? I was flying with Blaze and next thing I knew, I woke up here!" Rainbow said. "This is so not cool!"
"Oh my hair! Whoever captured us ruined my hair!" Rarity whined.
"Oh can you forget about yer hair for one second, Rarity? We're trapped in some sort of prison!" AppleJack said.
"No, you think?" Rarity said sarcastically. "But this place is so filthy!"
"What if we did something bad?" Pinkie asked. "What if making a cake is against the law now? What if…. Oh no, did they I find my hidden collection of cook books?! I’M INNOCENT I TELL YOU! Well… maybe not completely, but-“
"Wait, how is makin’ cake against the law? What mag’a think that?” AppleJack asked.
"Yeah, I was making a cake with my identical twin cousin. Something knocked him out, he was gone, he was shot back out and then I was captured, and then we woke up in this prison, and now I really have a craving for tacos because I think heard an echo through the corridors about after we’re rescued, they go for tacos.” Pinkie explained.
“So if your cousin is a ‘he’, how is he your duplicate? He’d look exactly like you.” Twilight asked.
“He’s a femcolt.” Pinkie said.
"Twilight, try it break us free with your magic, maybe that’ll help.” AppleJack suggested.
Twilight tries to break the bars with her magic, but her horn doesn't even spark, and there's a metal ring on her horn as well, preventing any magic to work. "I can't! My magic isn't working!" Twilight said.
"Must be that metal ring on your horn that's not making it work. Rarity's got one too." Rainbow said. Rainbow Dash tries to open her wings, but couldn't. "And it looks like my wings have been super glued to my body. So I can't fly."
“Wait I have a ring on my horn?!” Rarity asked shockingly. “How does it look? Does it match?”
"I-I-I'm scared." Fluttershy said shivering in the corner. "I... don't like this place."
Rarity walks over to her and pats her back. "Don't be scared, darling, as long as we're all here together, we'll figure something out." She said.
"W-what do you think they want with us?" Flutters asked.
"Maybe they want a party!" Pinkie cried in excitement.
"Ah don't think they want a party, Pinkie. Ah think there's a plot goin on." AppleJack said.
"What kind of prison is this anyway? Did the princesses capture us?" Rainbow asked.
"No, the Princesses would never do such a thing!” Twilight said excitedly. "And this isn't the castle dungeon."
"How would you know? Have you been there?" Rainbow asked.
"Yes, but not as a prisoner." Twilight said.
Pinkie started to giggle. “Twilight you should’ve seen the look on your face when Rainbow asked if the princesses captured you!” Twilight glares at her.
"Why would you go into an awful place like this, and not get arrested? It doesn't make sense." Rarity asked.
"What do you think the plot is?" Flutters asked.
"Your behind, duh! What do you think a plot is?" Pinkie teased and laughed and snorted.
"I meant, what could they be planning? If we're captured, then.... then...." Fluttershy said but she covered her eyes before she could finish.
"If we're all captured, that means some plague is gonna happen to Equestria, and only the Elements of Harmony can defeat them." Twilight said. "Without the Elements of Harmony to stop them, they can be unstoppable!"
"Could it be Discord?" Pinkie asked. "I hope so. It would start raining chocolate again!"
"I dunno. If it was Discord, then there would be chaos. This place seems kinda damp." Rainbow said.
"Don't get me started on the looks of this place, Rainbow Dash." Rarity complained.
"Could it be Nightmare Moon?" Flutters asked.
"We already stopped Nightmare Moon, and ah don't think Luna would ever be goin to cross that path again." AppleJack said.
"Queen Chrysalis? I think it's Chrysalis." Rainbow said.
"Yeah, maybe. It should explain the darkness, and the dungeon-like prison." Twilight thought.
"But wait, Changelings usually have that awful gross sticky stuff, and I don't think I see that around. Phew! Thank Celestia, for that." Rarity said in relief.
“Or this could be a Motel Six!” Pinkie thought.
A cutaway shows the same family from the last Motel Six cutaway gag sleeping in their beds in that dirty hotel. “Daddy?” the daughter asked.
“Yes, honey?” the dad asked.
“That sweater in closet is scaring me.” the daughter said frightened.
“It’s not a sweater honey, it’s just a monster in there.” The dad said.
“Oh… ok then.” The daughter said as she fell back asleep.
“Dear, stop drooling on me.” the mom asked her husband.
“That’s just the ceiling, honey.” The dad said.
“Dad? I have to ask; where do babies come from?” the son asked.
“This motel, son. This motel.” The dad said. The cutaway ends.
"What is going on? Who’s in charge here?!” Twilight called out.
"I think that would be me.” Discord said as his hologram emerges from the shadows.
“DISCORD!” they all cried out in shock.
“No! It’s Discord’s ghost!” AppleJack said.
“Hello, my friends! It has been a while hasn't it?" Discord said, walking to their cell.
"Ooo, ooo! Make it chocolate rain! Make it chocolate rain!" Pinkie yelled out in excitement as she started hopping.
Discord chuckled. "I wish I could, Pinkie Pie, but my powers have been trapped, along with my body." he said.
"Your body?" Rainbow asked. "But you're right there."
"50% correct.” Discord said as his body splits in two and then back together. “My spirit is here. I am still trapped in my stone prison, but thanks to a special friend of mine, he put a hologram device on my statue. So technically, I'm a hologram, or as AppleJack said, GHOOOOOOOOST!”
“Ah did not say it like that.” AppleJack corrected him.
"Oh that's good." Twilight said in relief.
"No that's bad! Very, very bad." Discord said. "I can't wonder around like this, but luckily, I was told that a certain power can help break me free, but first we need to get rid of you for good, so nothing will stop me.”
“Get rid of you for good? You sound like my parents after they asked me to get a job.” Rainbow said.
A cutaway shows Rainbow Dash looking at the newspaper ads, looking for a job like her parents asked you to. “Find a job yet, Dashie?” her dad asked.
“No. I swear all these jobs are racist against ponies that don’t have skills.” Rainbow said.
“You have skills. You can fly and do tricks.” Her dad reminded her.
“I meant skills that require thinking.” Rainbow corrected him. The cutaway ends.
"So once my new apprentice breaks me free, together we will rule Equestria and create chaos for all, but first, he needs to release his hate. GUARDS! Bring in my apprentice!" The Royal Guards walk inside, along with Shining Armor. They all had yellow and red eyes, with a scar near one of their eyes that's shaped like an 'S'.
"SHINING ARMOR?!" Twilight cried out.
"Hello, Twiley." Shining said with an evil smile.
"What has he done to you?" Twilight asked in tears.
"Discord has made me general of his new army, and I am honored to work along side him." Shining said.
"So you're his new apprentice?" Twilight asked.
"As much as would love to be, I'm not, sadly, but there is a certain pony you might know that is." Shining said.
"Shining Armor, Celestia's guards, Luna's guards, and Cadance's guards are all a part of my new army to take over Equestria. I can't do it all myself." Discord said.
"Who's the apprentice? Can he do chocolate rain like you?" Pinkie asked.
"No, but he does have the power to break me free, and maybe he might sing Chocolate Rain if you’re interested." Discord said. "Come, my loyal apprentice!" The Mane Six look towards the door and they see a black suited pony with a remote necklace around his neck, and a black gas mask on his face and breathing heavily inside it. Discord's apprentice walked to Discord and bowed to him.
"Greetings, my brah." Discord's apprentice said. "What is it that you need?" Then the apprentice looks at the Mane Six. "YOU!" he yelled. "YOU TRAIDERS! TRAIDERS OF FRIENDSHIP! Looks like you've finally been ended up in a cage. Trapped like pigs in a pen."
"Yeah, ah said that already." AppleJack said.
“I still can’t get that mental image out of my head.” Pinkie said.
"You all sicken me." Discord's apprentice said.
"He doesn't seem so friendly." Rainbow said.
"W-who is that?" Flutters asked.
"Mane Six, meet my new apprentice. Dark Flare!" Discord introduced him. The Mane Six gasped.
"FLARE?!" they all cried.
"Discord... Discord, no, no." I said as I took off my black gas mask and revealed my face. My eyes were yellow and red and there was a scar on my face shaped like an 'S'. "We've been over this, it's 'Darth' Flare, not 'Dark' Flare."
"How am I suppose to know the difference? They sound so similar!" Discord complained.
"F-Flare? S-son Flare? No!" Fluttershy started sobbing on Rarity's shoulder.
"Careful with the hair, dear." Rarity advised her.
"Flare, what did he do to you?!" Rainbow Dash asked angrily.
"You've asked me the same question already, and you're gonna get the same answer." Shining said.
"Yeah, what he said." I said.
"Well, I'd love to stay, but I have some planning to do. Dark Flare?" Discord asked.
"'DARTH' Flare, brah. Say it right!" I demanded. “You have to obey the Master-Apprentice Agreement!”
“Oh boy.” Rainbow facehooved herself.
"Whatever. Please look after the Mane Six while I plan our next phrase of action." Discord instructed me.
"Me? Stay with them? The ones who betrayed me?!” I complained. “You know why things never work out for you, Discord? Because you always have the wrong ideas, like a hungry horse.”
A cutaway shows a bunch of starving ponies stranded on an island. “I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse.” One of the ponies said. The other two ponies slowly started looking at him in concerned. “What?” he asked. The cutaway ends.
“No thank you. I do not want to hang with them. Shining can handle that." I suggested.
"But if you stay, your anger will grow, and your hate, then you'll become all powerful, and be able to break me free!" Discord recommended.
"That makes sense to me. I dunno why I agree, but I just do. Something in my head is telling me that.” I said.
"Good boy. You all play nice now." Discord said as he vanishes.
"Flare what are you talking about?" Twilight asked. “What trickery did Discord pull on y ou?”
"YOU KNOW DARN WELL OF WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" I yelled at them angrily.
"We don't, we swear! What's gotten you like this, dear?" Rarity asked.
"I don't want to relive the moment again, but.... Discord said I had to boost my anger. Kay then. Listen good because I'm going to say this once!" I started. "You listenining? DISCORD DIDN'T LET ME GO TO THE BATHROOM AFTER MY TRANSFORMATION! Now I have to go real bad! Thanks alot!"
"That's why you're grouchy?" AppleJack asked.
"Yeah that, but mostly YOU!" I yelled and pointed at her.
“ME?!” AppleJack asked shockingly.
"Not just you, AppleJack. Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow, Rarity, and Twilight too!" I said. “Not to mention Spike, Blaze, Psyche, Engie, Crystal, and Aqua! All traitors to friendship!”
"We didn't do anything to offend you! We would never!" Flutters said.
"Oh, but you did Flutters. You showed me your true colors before this friendship could go any farther." I said. "You betrayed the good friendship name! You call yourselves the Elements of Harmony when you can't even accept a true friendship is ponies that actually need them most! I was very depressed when I lived in Mareami. I had a great life in Ponyville, and YOU threw it away!"
"Flare, Discord's messing with your mind. We would never put you down! You're a great friend, Flare! We taught you a lot, it’s what you wanted!” Twilight said.
"Enough of your lies, sista. You all knew what you said to me back in that cave; said that I deserve to disappear off the face of the Earth! Saying my pizza and my cooking is terrible! Saying it's pathetic to love your fish like family! Well guess what, sista? My fish mean everything to me." I explained.
"But I love your fish, Flare! I come and see them all the time. I think of them as friends!" Fluttershy said.
"And your pizza? Sugarcube, y’all make the best darn-good pizza in the whole kingdom! Why would we put down a work of art like that?" AppleJack asked.
"I adore your pizza, darling! I'd get my hooves dirty anytime for your fine cuisine!" Rarity lied. “But I do find your narrator slightly irritating, Flare.”
"Yeah, yeah, you're just saying that." I pouted.
"Why are you doing this to us, Flare?" Flutters asked.
"The tables have turned. It's time for you to feel that pain you all gave me! First you, then the Noble Six, then the entire kingdom! I'm gonna get the respect I deserve! Even if it means I have to hurt somepony to get it!" Flare swore. "EVIL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL!” The Mane Six all got a little frightened. “You know, you’re right, I gotta stop with the ‘lawls’. I’m getting tired of it too.” I’ll slow down when Book 2 starts.
Meanwhile, outside the mountain, the Cutie Mark Crusaders just landed their glider and were walking around the wasteland. "This place looks scary!" Sweetie Belle said.
"Oh and ah thought Scootaloo was supposed to be the tree?" Apple Bloom teased.
"Apple Bloom, you gotta stop with tha- wait what?” Scoots asked.
“Oh woops, ah got it all mixed up. Sorry.” Apple Bloom said. “Ah thought Scootaloo was supposed to be the marshmallow!”
“Are you ok, Apple Bloom?” Scoots asked.
“Yeah, ah forgot what they call you.” Apple Bloom said.
“You’re right, they call me a tree. I’m the tree.” Scoots lied as Apple Bloom was supposed to call her a chicken, but instead called her a tree.
“Oh yeah, that’s right! You’re the chicken!” Apple Bloom remembered.
“This narrator is really getting on my nerves.” Scoots complai- “Oh shush!”
"Well we've made it to Chaos Mountain, but no sign of Flare and the others." Sweetie Belle said.
"That mountain sure looks kinda creepy." Apple Bloom said.
"Looks pretty cool to me!" Scoots said. "Let's go in!"
"You sure that's a good idea, Scoots?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"No, I don't. You got any better ideas?" Scootaloo asked.
"No." Sweetie Belle said.
"Then the only way we're going to catch up with them, is inside." Scootaloo said.
"Wait! Somepony's comin!" Apple Bloom pointed out. The Crusaders all hid behind some rocks. Crystal and Aqua walked to the middle of the wasteland, ahead of the Crusaders, not knowing they're there.
"It's Crystal Iceblast and Aquatic Armor. They were with Flare!" Sweetie Belle whispered.
"Wait, they're doing something." Scootaloo whispered. Crystal and Aqua pressed a button on their watches, and they changed into Royal Guards.
"No, it's the missin’ Royal Guards!" Apple Bloom whispered.
"The boss said the plan was a success. Flare Gun has been brainwashed and is now his loyal apprentice." One of the guards said.
"What are they talking about?" Scootaloo asked.
"Yep! These changing devices that the doctor made work like a charm!" the other guard said. "Changing into the Noble Six, thinking Flare's friends have been betrayed him was a genius plan! Now all of them are captured!”
"What?!" Scootaloo cried.
"Shhhh!" Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom shushed while putting their hooves on Scootaloo's mouth. Then they release their hooves quickly and wiped them on their fur. "Eww!" they both cried.
"Hoof licker." Sweetie Belle complained.
"Now that the Mane Six has been captured and Discord's key to freedom is there, we just have to wait until Flare gets angry enough to be powerful enough to set him free!" the first guard said.
"Nothing can stop him now! It was nice talking about our plan out loud out here where nopony can hear us.” The second guard said. “Now let's celebrate! Where do you and the guy's wanna go for dinner?" both of the guards began to walk.
"I was actually in the mood for some BQQ lately." The first guard said.
"Girls, Flare and the others have been captured!" Apple Bloom said.
"You think?" Scootaloo asked sarcastically.
"This is not good." Sweetie Belle said.
"You think?" Scootaloo asked sarcastically.
"We have to go find help!" Apple Bloom said.
"You thin...." Scootaloo was about to say again but got interrupted.
"Shut up!" they both said to Scootaloo.
“Then stop stating the obvious.” Scootaloo advised them.
"If Discord's returning, and Twilight, Rarity, and the others who hold the Elements of Harmony were captured, Equestria will be doomed!" Sweetie Belle said.
"We have to go back to the castle." Apple Bloom said.
"How? Our glider broke." Scootaloo said. "We'll never get there fast enough!"
"Hey, what's that?" Sweetie Belle asked while pointing to my Wafflecopter that was still parked in the middle of the wasteland.
"It's Flare's flyin’ machine." Apple Bloom said. The three of them ran over to the Wafflecopter and looked at it.
"Wafflecopter, huh? Well, it’s better than Roflcopter at least, and instead of text, this thing is made of food.” Scootaloo said.
"I wonder if this still works." Sweetie Belle wondered as she kept pressing random buttons. She started the wind-shield wipers, the automatic coffee maker, and automatic sausage server. “Oh hey, tree sausage! Yummy!”
"Move over." Apple Bloom demanded, pushing Sweetie Belle over and turning the key. The propellers on top of the copter started spinning.
"Buckle up, girls! Time for the Cutie Mark Crusaders to save the day!" Scootaloo said.
"Maybe we'll even get our cutie marks!" Apple Bloom said excitedly.
"I hope you know how to fly this thing, Apple Bloom." Sweetie Belle hoped. The chopper started flying in the air, but it was spinning and tilting.
"Ah hope so too." Apple Bloom said. They were successful in flying the copter out of the wastelands, and they started flying back to Canterlot.
Back at the cave at a certain room, Blaze was waking up from his slumber. “Ugh! What happened? Where are we?”
“Is that seriously the first question you ask?” Crystal asked. “My first question is why do I crave tacos?”
“Maybe it’s cause we were talkin’ ‘bout it a little while ago.” Engie said.
“Crystal?! Engie?!” Blaze called out.
“Yeah, hi. Where are the tacos?” Crystal asked.
“Is Aqua and Psyche here?” Blaze asked.
“Right here, mate.” Aqua said.
“I can’t reach my jelly-babies. My arms are stuck.” Psyche said. All of the Noble Six were in this room, strapped on to metal beds of some sort with braces on each hoof.
“Where are we? Where’s Flare?!” Blaze asked as he tried to release himself from the braces.
“No good, partner, these braces are sealed on tight. Even the strongest ponies may not be able to break them.” Engie said.
“Aqua, can use your magic?” Blaze asked.
“Tried it, but there’s an anti-magic ring on my horn.” Aqua said.
“I’ll use my phoenix powers to get outta here.” Blaze said.
“WHOA, WHOA, WHOOOOA!” Crystal said in shock. “You’re a draconian AND you have phoenix powers?!”
“Yeah. When I was a foal, a phoenix used its magic on me. The phoenix said it was sent by Princess Celestia. I’m not just a draconian, I’m the last of the draconians, and I have phoenix powers that don’t seem to work because I’m trying to activate them but it’s no good.” Blaze explained.
“Looks like we’re stuck here until we can find a way outta here.” Psyche said.
“Oh that won’t be necessary.” The Discord hologram appears in the room and said.
“DISCORD! What sort of trickery is this!?” Blaze yelled.
“To be honest, I have no idea who you five are.” Discord said.
“Oh where are our manners?” Engie chuckled. “Ah’m Red Engineer, this is Crystal Iceblast, Blaze Goldheart, Psyche Illusion, and Aquatic Armor. We came here with our friends Flare Gun and Spike but they don’t seem to be here.”
“Oh… you mean this cute little guy right here?” Discord asked as a monitor activated, showing Spike back at the gem cave, devouring all the gems.
“What are you doing to him, Discord?” Blaze asked. “You better not hurt him!”
“My, my, Mr. Armor, I wouldn’t dream of it.” Discord said in a sensitive voice.
“I’m Blaze.” Blaze corrected him.
“Oh to-may-to, to-ma-to.” Discord said as holographic tomatoes appeared on his paws.
“I call it ‘to-ma-to’.” Crystal said.
“What are you planning, Discord? What is happening here?” Psyche asked.
“Well, a little birdie told me,” Discord started as a holographic bird appeared on his paw. “that you are the Noble Six, correct?”
“He’s smart.” Crystal said.
“Of course I am, Crystal. I have a PH.D in having a PH.D.” Discord said as he showed Crystal a PH.D for having a PH.D.
“Wow, and I thought Psyche was the only one with a PH.D?” Crystal asked.
“Ah’m next though.” Engie said.
“What are ya plannin’ to do, Discord? Where’s Flare?” Aqua asked.
“Oooooh he’s around. He could be over here…” Discord teleports to one side of the room. “He could be over here…” he teleports to the other side of the room. “He can even me here on the ceiling.” He teleports to the ceiling while bouncing a holographic basketball on it, and then he throws it to Engie.
“AAAH!” Engie yelled as the ball gets thrown at him, but it just goes right through him since it’s just a hologram. “DON’T DO THAT!”
“Sorry about that, Engie. I know you were expecting a solid ball, but once I’m free again, I’ll fulfill your promise.” Discord said. “Now let us get down to business. GUARDS!” The brainwashed royal guards appeared in the room.
“Oh hey look, the missing guards.” Aqua noticed.
“My friends here are going to perform a little surprise experiment on you.” Discord said.
“What kind of experiment?” Aqua asked.
“Oh but that’ll ruin the surprise, and I don’t like ruining surprises.” Discord said.
“I don’t like this one bit, like the Mane Six didn’t like the .MOV series.” Psyche said.
A cutaway shows the Mane Six watching the .MOV series on the computer. “What? B-but… ah can’t eat that many apples.” AppleJack commented.
“T-that doesn’t look like the kind of parties I make.” Pinkie commented.
“Oh my, but… I don’t even own a shed.” Fluttershy commented.
“Uhh… what’s a ‘swag’?” Rainbow asked.
“That magic spell doesn’t look familiar to me. Also, why do I sound so I high-pitched?” Twilight asked.
“What’s that I’m consuming? Is that even edible?” Spike asked.
“Please… that doesn’t sound like me at all.” Discord commented. The cutaway ends.
“You won’t win, Discord! You will be beaten like you always have!” Blaze yelled.
“Well that’s better than you saying ‘you’ll never get away with this’, I hate that phrase, it’s overused.” Crystal said.
“I agree.” Discord said.
“Same.” Aqua said.
“Now then… let the experimentation…. BEGIN!” Discord said. The royal guards start walking over to the Noble Six with needles.
“AAAAH NEEDLES! I HATE NEEDLES!” Engie yelled. “AH AM SO GLAD MEDIC REPLACED NEEDLES WITH A MEDIGUN! AH DON’T THINK I CAN… can… take…. dibs....” Engie was injected with the needle and began to fall asleep.
“Don’t fall asleep, Engie. Ya can fight it. Ya can… ya can…” Aqua started to fall asleep as well after he was injected.
“NOT THE ARM! NOT THE ARM!” Crystal yelled as the guard was about to inject the needle in her arm, but the guard stops. “Thank you.” She said in relief until the guard injects the needle on her neck. “Ow! At least you follow…. Follow… directions…. Oh snap.” She falls asleep. Psyche and Blaze were also injected with the needles but they didn’t fall asleep yet.
“Fight it, Psyche! Fight it!” Blaze yelled.
“I don’t think I can hold it in much longer, Blaze!” Psyche yelled.
“That’s because you’re a weakling.” Blaze said.
“Oh how nice of you, Blaze.” Psyche said sarcastically. “You know, I’m just gonna let the medication put me to sleep so I don’t have to hear your insults. Good night.” He falls asleep.
“Fight it, Blaze! Fight it!” Blaze said to himself as he began to sweat.
“Don’t bother, Blaze. It’s in no use. The medication will affect you either way.” Discord said.
“Must…. Resist…. Use…. Phoenix powers…. Aaah…. No….” Blaze started to get drousy and close his eyes but he keeps trying to open them again but they keep going tighter and tighter. “Flare…. I… we would never…. Betray you…..” everything fades black.
“Ehh, except for me.” Engie said.
“Oh, inject him again.” Discord instructed the guards.
“Dang it.” Engie complained. “Ow! Poke me.”
Back at the prison, I was sitting on the table, eating some garlic rolls. Shining Armor and the Royal Guards were standing against the wall, and of course the Mane Six was still in prison. “I got a garlic roll! I got a garlic roll!” I said. “Wait a minute.” I put my hoof in the garlic roll bag and took out another one. “I got two garlic rolls! I got two garlic rolls!”
"We have nothing, I’m starving!” Rainbow complained.
“Well, it’s eating time anyway.” I said as Shining Armor walks over to the Mane Six and gives them a tray full of food.
“Take the food.” He demanded.
“Oh cool! Corn!” Pinkie said excitedly.
“Corn? You’re giving us corn?” Rainbow complained.
“It’s better than letting you starve, right?” I asked.
“He’s got a point there.” AppleJack said.
“What made him think of serving us corn?” Rainbow complained.
“I was listening to the band Korn as I was guarding so… hey… corn.” Shining said.
“Anyways can you six insult me more so I can be more powerful?” I asked.
“I thought you didn’t want to be OP?” Twilight asked.
“I thought so too, until I figured out, nopony’s gonna think me any different.” I said.
“Isn’t that what I’ve telling you before?” Twilight asked.
“Everyone’s gonna thing I’m OP even if I’m not powerful. I bet even if I used my armor lock, I’ll be gaining insults about that. OH that reminds me, check this out!” I activated my armor lock. “Luna gave me armor lock!”
“I don’t know what that is.” Twilight said.
“What do you and Spike talk about?” I asked as I deactivated the spell. “Now gimmie some insults so I can hate you some more! Evil lawl lawl lawl!”
"Flare, this has gone far enough!" Twilight said. "Discord brainwashed you, and my brother! He's just usin’ you so he can break free! We're your friends, Flare. We trust you, and you trust us. We've been there for you ever since you moved to Ponyville! We've supported you, and you've supported us! Just think it....."
"WORDS WORDS WORDS! Hi I'm Twilight Sparkle, I say alot of WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS! I'm just trying to say alot of words to Darth Flare so I can get free, and just abandon him in this terrible place again. WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS FLIPPIN’ WORDS!" I yelled.
"Wow, that was rude." Twilight said.
"Flare, we promise we won't ever abandon you! It’s against our nature!” Rainbow said. “I’m the Element of Loyalty. It would be against my element to abandon you.”
“Same goes for Engie, Psyche, Blaze, Crystal, and Aqua.” AppleJack said.
“Don’t mention those tators! Those tator tots! They’re no better than you!” I said. “Crystal Iceblast, one of the funniest ponies I know. We fought an X-Wing when Lord Thorn was in town, and that’s the day we met. Same goes with Engie. Very generous he is. They both taught me that merchants are usually phoneys and that you shouldn’t fight for something stupid.”
“Internet in a nutshell.” One of the royal guards said.
“Aquatic Armor – he showed me that there are more things to competitions than winning. I sacrificed my winnings to save Lyra from that Trixie-bot. The kindness in his heart is what made me want to hang out with him in the first place.” I explained. “Psyche Illusion – I made him at the royal wedding. Very honest, yet very caring, even though he never met us, and we’ve always treated him as the punching bag of the group, but that didn’t stop him. He kept hanging with us. Which goes to loyalty, Blaze Goldheart – Rainbow Dash asked me to look for him.”
“No I didn’t. You went to look for him yourself.” Rainbow corrected me.
“Shh, we have to show kindness to Flare, he might help us out of here.” Twilight whispered.
“I HEARD THAT!” I yelled. “Only kind to me so I can-“ Just then my phone begins to vibrate and I take it out to check. “STOP POKING ME! SO ANNOYING!” I yelled at my phone as I pressed the ‘poke back’ button. “Yeah! Let’s see how you like it, Keith!” I put my phone away and continued, “You girls only kind to me so I can let you out?! You know, that doesn’t even surprise me anymore. Here, have some of my garlic rolls.” I offered.
“No thank you. I don’t want to get my breath all stinky.” Rarity said. Just then I walk over to Rarity and stuff the garlic roll in her mouth.
“Yeah you like that? YOU LIKE THAT?! I MAKE THIS STUFF! I SERVE IT EVERY DAY!” I yelled.
“Flare, quit bein’ such a jerk!” AppleJack yelled. I stuffed another garlic roll in her mouth and she started pouting.
“Heh, this is fun. I should stuff garlic rolls in pony’s mouths more often.” I chuckled.
“Ooo ooo can I have some? Can I have some?” Pinkie asked excitedly.
“Oh sorry, that’s all I can spare, but if you want you can have Rarity’s garlic roll.” I suggested.
“I already swallowed it, dear.” Rarity said.
“I WANT THAT GARLIC ROLL!” Pinkie yelled as she tackles Rarity. “GIMMIE!”
“Wow, now you are fighting with each other. I’m actually quite enjoying this.” I chuckled. “I don’t like the enjoyment, I need to be angry. Discord and dat cord said so.”
“HA! Discord, dat cord. Why didn’t I think of that?” Pinkie laughed and snorted.
“Why do you snort a lot, Pinkie?” Rarity asked in a disgusted tone.
“I knew somepony that snorted a lot. He was among the first that betrayed me.” I said. “But… that’s a story we’ll get to another time.”
“Flare, I know there’s some good in you. You don’t hate us. I know you don’t.” Twilight said.
“Who said anything about me hating you?” I asked.
“Oh that’s fantastic!” Pinkie said in excitement.
“I despise you.” I said mischievously
Pinkie froze while she was jumping in the air. She just floated there, smiling, then her smile turned into a frown, then her mane deflated. “You.... despise us?” Pinkie asked sadly.
“Shining, I think Pinkie Pie’s gone missing because I see her twin sister, Pinkamenia Diane Pie in here now.” I teased.
“Ha ha, very funny, Darth.” Shining said and laughed. The guards joined along.
“See? Even Shining and the guards think I’m funny!” I said.. Then the Mane Six all laughed, but I knew they were faking it.
“That was a great joke, Flare!” AppleJack said.
“Yeah, so funny, my sides are hurting!” Rarity said.
“SHUT UP!” I yelled and slammed on the table. The Mane Six all froze. “You’re just faking it; I know that for a fact! You can’t fool me! I know when ponies are lying to me!”
“What happened to the Flare I used to know?” Pinkie asked as she started to sob softly. Rarity patted her on the back.
“There there, dear. Somewhere inside that evil lord is that Flare we know and love. He could’ve attacked us with something. He never did that.” Rarity said.
I then threw a garlic roll at Rarity and it landed in her mouth. “Bullseye!” I said.
“I STILL DON’T GET ONE?!” Pinkie freaked out as she started to sob with tears running out of her eyes like a waterfall.
“GAH! My hair! Pinkie!” Rarity whined.
“Sugarcube that was harsh.” AppleJack said.
“Flare this is not funny. You’re being very rude to us.” Twilight said.
“Shut up! You deserve a garlic roll too!” I yelled as I inserted my hoof in the garlic roll bag, but it was empty. “Oh how unfortunate. All out of garlic rolls. Sigh. Let’s see what else in my satchel I have to throw at you meanies.” I started going through my satchel to look for more.
“But.... I’m not a meanie.” Fluttershy said.
“We know, Fluttershy. We know.” Rainbow said as she patted her on the back.
“Flare, this is your second mom talking. Please release us from this prison, and we’ll go take out that meanie Discord together. Your curse will be broken and we WILL get out of here. Just let us go! NOW!” Fluttershy demanded.
“If you’re planning on using your stare on me, I’m not even looking at you right now, so it won’t work.” I said.
Fluttershy was silent for a moment. “Rats.” She whispered.
“EEK!” Rarity screeched.
“Ooooooh… I’m so scared.” Deflated Pinkie said sarcastically.
“Pinkie, you couldn’ve picked a better time to deflate your mane?” Rainbow asked.
“Shut up.” Pinkie said angrily. “Flare is a stupid meanie-mean head!”
“There we go! There’s the hate Darth Flare was looking for! My super Shoop Da Whoop will be ready in no time!” I said excitedly.
“Your name is not Darth Flare, its Flare Gun.” Twilight corrected me.
“Call me by my first name. I hate that.” I said. “That’ll really get me going! Oh look what I found in my satchel!” I took out a container of Pringles. “Ah, pringles! Leet! This should be perfect to throw at you!”
“You gonna be taking out some chips and throwing them at us?” AppleJack asked.
“Negative.” I said as I threw the entire Pringles can at Twilight, and it hits her nose.
“OW!” she yelled and rubbed her nose.
“If you want ketchup to go with those chips, some should come out of Twilight’s nose any second now.” I said mischievously. Twilight growled at me. “You mad, sis?”
“What do you want from us, Flare? What do you want in your life? Do you want this?” Rarity asked.
“You wanna know what I want? I’ll tell you want I want!” I said.
“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” Rainbow sang.
”SHUSH! I’m gonna sing, not you!” I corrected her.
“I NEVER had my own solo yet!” Rainbow complained.
“Neither did ah.” AppleJack said.
“Guards, let’s show them what we want!” I said mischievously.
“Yes, Lord Flare.” Shining said.
“That’s Lord Darth Flare.” I corrected him as the Royal Guards started playing their drums, and played ‘I Wanna Rule The World’ by 10cc. The guards and Shining Armor marched in front of the Mane Six’s cell, and started singing.
“I wanna be a boss, I wanna be a big boss, I wanna boss the world around, I wanna be the biggest boss, that ever bossed the around!” Shining and the guards sang. “I wanna do it right, I wanna do it right away, I wanna do it right now, I wanna do it right away, I wanna do it now!” The guards stood in place, saluting to me as I dances by, carrying a top hat and cane.
“Don’t wanna be a dancer, in a Bolshoi Ballet. Don’t want to work for Daddy. In Daddy’s shop, ok I get confused, soooooo confused.” I sang, rolling my eyes around. The Mane Six all looked at each other conceringly as I moved my body up and down. “I get a pain, I get pain up here in the Shirley Temples.”
“Whatcha gonna do? How you gonna do it? Whatcha gonna do? How you gonna do it?” the Mane Six sang.
“Little by little.” I sang.
“Ooh ooh.” Shining and the guards sang.
“Little by little.” I sang.
“Bit by bit.” Shining and the guards sang.
The floor below the Mane Six opened, and then they all started falling down and landed in some city streets. There were three screens on buildings, one to the right of the Mane Six, one to the left, and one in front. I appeared on one screen at a time as I sang the next part.
“Shhh! Not too loud, don’t tell everypony, don’t give away the game!” I sang. Just then I appeared on all the screens and sings. “Oooh, oooh!” Then the screen in front of them sang, “I ain’t quite ready to reveal my campaign.” Just then, me and the Mane Six appeared at an eat-in theater. The Mane Six were sitting in the audience, while I was singing the next part of the song on stage, with some guards using the instruments. “This is not the time. Our hero’s alive, and well in a cave. I’m keeping them on ice, in the suspended animation, till the very right occasion comes along.” Then a building started rising off the stage floor, and grew 60 flights and a flag with a black circle and a red ‘S’ appeared on top as the royal guards and shining sang the next part.
“To our rally come along, come along, to our rally, come along, to our rally, come along. To our rally come along, come along, to our rally, come along, to our rally, come along.” they sang. I then walked up to a stand in front of the tall building and I was about to speak. The Mane Six and a larger group of ponies were in the crowd.
“A BRAVE NEW WORLD WILL RISE FROM THE ASHES!” I yelled up at the stand. “And there upon a rock titanic, I’ll cast a giant shadow, on the face of the deep - and never again will they dare to call me: A freckled, spotty, specky, four eyed, weedy, little, CREEEEEEEEEEP!” I cried out. While I said that, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, and AppleJack were scared. Rainbow Dash just glared at me, and Pinkie was eating popcorn as she watched. Next thing we knew, the Mane Six and I were at a torture chamber. Twilight was about to get hit by a laser underneath, Rainbow Dash was tied over a shark tank, Fluttershy was under a large spinning blade, AppleJack was surrounded by pears, and a bag of dirt was near Rarity. “No tremblin and quakin’ in the gym.” I sang. “No more ‘come on fellas, let’s get him’.”
“Whatcha gonna do? How you gonna do it? Whatcha gonna do? How you gonna do it?” the Mane Six sang.
“Little by little.” I sang.
“Ooh, ooh.” Shining and the guards sang.
“Little by little.” I sang.
“Bit by bit.” Shining and the guards sang.
”Little by little." I sang.
“Ooh, ooh.” Shining and the guards sang.
“Little by little.” I sang.
“Bit by bit. Bit by bit. Bit.... by..... bit.” Shining and the guards sang.
I then dressed as a little girl and started dancing like a little girl and sang like a little girl in front of a schoolhouse. “Everypony’s going to be free, but they’ll have to agree to be free. They’ll have to agree to be less free than me, ‘cos I rule the world you see.” I sang in a high-pitched voice that sounds a lot like Bowser Jr.’s voice from Scanner-Life. “So wait for the army of kiddy-winkies, and terrible tiny tots, in armored school buses,” armored school buses appeared. “firin poison pea-shooters, and sinking their milk teeth into your thighs..... delapsus resurgam! When I fall, I shall rise!” The guards started singing again as the Mane Six started to get a little paranoid.
“I wanna be a boss, I wanna be a big boss, I wanna boss the world around, I wanna be the biggest boss that ever bossed the world around!” Shining and guards kept singing 7 times, until Rainbow Dash interrupted them.
“Alright, we get it!” she yelled. The Mane Six reappeared in their prison cell, along with me, Shining, and the guards just ouside it.
“For Wizard of Hope’s sake, Dash. Do you have to spoil the moment?” I complained.
“What kind of song was that?” AppleJack asked.
“An underrated song.” I said. “Wasn’t it possum grade awesome?”
“No.” Pinkie said angrily with a deflated mane still.
“Well who asked you all anyway?” I complained.
“I had enough of all this.” Rainbow complained. “This is getting really out of hand, like ridiculous puns.”
A cutaway shows a telephone helping an empty paper towel tube fix its amnesia. “I phone, you tube.” The phone said to the tube.
Next shows a house talking a jar of honey. “Hi Honey! I’m home!” the house said to the honey jar.
And finally we show a chocolate bar and a carton of milk shaking hands. “Chocolate milk shake.” They said. The cutaway ends.
Alright I think that’s enough of the Mane Six and Darth me arguing, let’s change the scene a bit before the big event. No I’m not saying ‘mane’ event; ‘mane’ is another ridiculous pun that should’ve been on that last cutaway gag. Now then, meanwhile at Canterlot castle, the three princesses were just sitting there doing nothing. “Sooo… what do you girls want to do?” Celestia asked.
“What do we do all the time?” Luna asked.
“You two want to go swimming or play shuffleboard?” Cadance asked.
“I don’t swim.” Luna said.
“And I can’t shuffleboard. Every time somepony sees me with a long stick they keep saying ‘oh look its Princess Molestia, keep the children away’! It sickens me.” Celestia complained.
“And you think you have it bad?” Cadance asked. “When I first revealed myself to the world I kept getting complaints – ‘why is there another princess? I thought there was only 2’?”
“I never have these problems.” Luna said.
“That’s because everypony loves you Luna.” Cadance complained.
“And don’t you deny it.” Luna said as she smirked at Cadance.
Yeah, that’s pretty much how the princesses talk to eachother when nopony is around. They only sound wise and kind when other ponies are around. When they’re by themselves, they sound like any ordinary mares. Anyways, as they were having their conversation, the crusaders all start screaming as they crash my Wafflecopter into the throne room from one of the windows. They continued screaming even right after they crash landed, until Sweetie Belle opened her eyes and saw the princesses looking awkwardly at them, she stops screaming and then punches the other crusaders on the side.
“OW!” they yelled.
“Sweetie Belle?! What was that- oh.” Scoots said as she too saw the princesses.
“Why hello there, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo! Pleasure of you to drop in!” Celestia said.
”Seriously? Three little fillies crash into the throne room and all you do is say a ridiculous pun?” Luna asked her sister.
“Is that how ya always take to Celestia, Luna?” Apple Bloom asked.
“No.” Luna lied.
“Aren’t you all a little young to be driving one of those flying machines?” Cadance asked. “Come to think of it, what is that? Is that… a bunch of breakfast foods combined to look like a helicopter?”
“Princess Celestia!” Apple Bloom cried out. “Princess Luna! We need your help!”
“You went with the Noble Six without their permission, didn’t you?” Celestia asked.
“NO!” Scootaloo yelled.
“Yes we did.” Sweetie Belle corrected her.
“Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo whined at her.
“We can’t lie to the princesses.” Sweetie Belle said.
“”What seems to be the problem young ones?” Luna asked.
“We were following Flare and the others and we were just outside Chaos Mountain, but before we were able to go inside, we saw Crystal Iceblast and Aquatic Armor, but it wasn’t them!” Sweetie Belle explained.
“It was brainwashed Royal Guards! Your missing Royal Guards were captured and brainwashed!” Scootaloo explained.
“And they said they brainwashed Flare, captured the Noble Six, and we think they’re in trouble!” Apple Bloom said.
“Oh my; this is troubling.” Celestia said.
“I agree, but it appears Discord isn’t free yet, since there’s no chaos.” Luna said.
“What about my Shining Armor?” Cadance asked.
“If the royal guards are there, and they’re brainwashed, that must mean Shining Armor must be there and brainwashed too!” Sweetie Belel said.
“Oh… dear….” Cadance took some deep breathes.
“There there, Princess Cadance.” Luna said while comforting her. “Cutie Mark Crusaders, you’ve done the right thing. It appears Flare Gun and the Noble Six was wrong about you.”
“What did he say about us?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“I agree. Without you three to warn us what happened, we would never know, and Discord might be free without us knowing.” Celestia said.
“What are we going to do, sister?” Luna asked.
“We’re going on a rescue mission, but not just us.... we’re going to need some help from a few friends of theirs!” Celestia said mischievously.
“I don’t like that look on her face.” Apple Bloom whispered.
“I don’t molest.” Celestia said with an annoyed tone.
Meanwhile back with and the Mane Six and I, I was bored so I showed them my new armor lock ability. “Armor lock, armor lock, armor lock, armor lock, FLIPPIN’ armor lock! HAHA!” I yelled.
“Alright we get it, Flare! Stop!” deflated Pinkie demanded.
“Yeah, even though Pinkie’s depressed right now, ah kinda agree with her.” AppleJack said.
“Kinda? KINDA?!” Pinkie yelled.
“Flare?” Twilight asked.
”DARTH Flare!” I corrected her.
“WHATEVER!” Twilight yelled. “Do you even know where the Noble Six or Spike are?”
“Don’t know, don’t care. They could be eaten by one of those piranha plants at Everfree not that I care.” I said.
“You do care, Flare. You do care.” Twilight said.
“If you want, you can test me.” I said.
“Ok… umm… remember when you rescued us from the piranha plant from Everfree? We were hugely grateful that you came back for us, just like we came back for you.” Twilight said.
“Only because Luna said so.” I added.
“No because Luna persuaded us.” Twilight corrected me.
“I don’t see a difference between persuasion and just plain telling you.” I said.
“Yeah I don’t either.” Rainbow said.
“Not helping.” Twilight mumbled angrily to Rainbow.
“How about the time I took care of you when you were sick? You called me Mama Fluttershy from there on out…. It…. It really meant a lot to me.” Fluttershy said as she whimpered a bit. Fluttershy then began to sing Soft Dalek to me, “Soft Dalek, Warm Dalek, little ball of hate…”
“Soft Dalek is for when you’re sick.” I corrected her. “I’m not sick.”
“Do you have a song for when you’re stressed?” Fluttershy asked.
“NO! I don’t have a stressed song, I’m not a child!” I corrected her.
“Speaking of child. How about that time ya were a child for a short time?” AppleJack asked.
“Those mean Canterlot ponies, and those mean school kids thinking I’m crazy. I’M NOT CRAZY! DO I LOOK CRAZY TO YOU?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” I spazed out.
Nopony said a word after that, except for Fluttershy, “No you’re not crazy.”
“Of course I’m not! Everypony else is though.” I said.
“You expressed yourself…. Weirdly though…. But still ya learned from it and that’s good!” AppleJack said.
“So what I learned was I can get away with making an idiot of myself and everypony would just forgive me just like that?” I asked.
“Well, ah wouldn’t say that, but…. Dang….” AppleJack mumbled angrily.
“Keep going, I’m getting madder each moment I’m hearing this.” I said.
“Remember when you helped AppleJack and I with the sisters pageant?” Rarity asked.
“That you didn’t do.” I reminded her.
“We were only thinking of your safety, darling.” Rarity reminded me.
“Yeah, ah mean, you were scared out of your mind, and ya still did it! If that’s not friendship, ah dunno what is.” AppleJack said.
“You’re right, you don’t know friendship.” I agreed. “Next!”
“What about you forgiving Pinkie after you let her borrow your Ipod and she dropped it in the sewers?” Twilight asked.
“I should’ve kept it there!” Pinkie said angrily. “Let it get eaten by the sewer gators…. No offense to Gummy.”
“You still can’t change me. Are you girls finished yet?” I asked.
“You know, this isn’t the Flare we know and love. We know Discord’s tricks and I know you don’t mean what you’re saying!” Rainbow said.
“You idiots are starting to get on my last nerve! Very angry face!” I said as my horn began to glow. “I’m gonna have to settle with you all, right here, right now!” The Mane Six all held eachother tight, except for Pinkie.
“Ok, let him end us, I don’t care.” Pinkie said sarcastically. My anger was really getting my powers stronger, but without Discord’s curse on me, this is not the way I would want it to go. Before I was able to do anything, Discord’s hologram comes back.
“Dark Flare.” Discord said.
I grunted, pouted and deactivated my horn. “Why can’t you say my name right? DARTH! Not Dark!” I reminded him.
“The time has come, my apprentice. Time to bring an end to the Elements of Harmony once and for all.” Discord said.
“You’re gonna regreat this, Discord! You messed with the wrong ponies!” Rainbow Dash yelled.
“Whoa nelly, calm down, sugarcube.” AppleJack tried to calm her down.
“Anyways, everything is ready. The big show starts in an hour, so I’ll need you and the guards to take these lovely ladies over the arena.” Discord said.
“Ah the arena! Time to see some real entertainment!” I nodded.
“Like I care what we’re gonna be seeing. I doubt I’ll find it entertaining.” Pinkie grumply said.
“Uhh… Pinkie…. I think WE’RE the entertainment.” Twilight said frightenedly.
“Alright guards, let’s get these ladies to their places and they’ll meet their fates.” I said.
“Of course, my lord, right away.” Shining said as he opened the cage doors and the guards began to escort the Mane Six to the arena.
“I got a bad feeling about this.” Rarity said.
“This isn’t Star Wars, Rarity.” Rainbow corrected her.
“All these references are making it look like this is Star Wars.” Twilight said. “I mean, DARTH Flare, the arena from Attack of the Clones….. I have the feeling this is going to end with an Episode Four-like ending.”
“That is, if we make it outta here alive.” AppleJack said.
An hour went by. We took the Mane Six to the Mountain battle arena which looked a lot like the arena from Attack of the Clones. All around the arena were mostly geonosians, all cheering after we hang the Mane Six on columns. There was even a geonosian selling food, and T-Shirts and hats of the Mane Six with X’s on them, and there were even a couple of fat geonosians with letters written on their stomachs, in order: ‘DO-WN-WITH-THE-ELEM-ENTS-BINKS’. “Wrong execution, Jeremy.” One of the geonosians said to the geonosian with the ‘BINKS’ on his stomach. The audience was like a football crowd. Eventually, they all did the wave.
“See? Told you this was going to be like the Attack of the Clones arena.” Twilight said.
“Well.... this is the end of us. The end of the fabulous Rarity, and her good looks, and fashion.” Rarity said upsettingly. “But please…. Make sure I look good.”
“Ah never thought it would end this way.” AppleJack said. “Ah always thought ah’d die applebuckin’. Die from exhaustion. Then ah would truly be in heaven.”
“I always thought I’d die drowning in chocolate milk, but nope….” Pinkie said depressingly. “And worse thing is…. I go out with a friend as an enemy. Woo hoo.”
“Don’t give up, girls. We can still get outta this! There is hope for us, and even Flare yet!” Rainbow said.
“Rainbow Dash is right. Somepony is bound to rescue us.” Twilight said as she looked up at mind-controlled Shining Armor, then teared up. “Why? Shining, get back to your senses. You’re my B-B-B-F-F! You can fight it!”
“Just face it girls. We’re doomed.” AppleJack said.
“Rainbow…. I-I-I’m scared!” Fluttershy squeaked.
“Don’t be scared, Fluttershy, we’ll be fine. I know it!” Rainbow said. “We’ll be..... fine. Yeah. Blaze won’t let me down.”
“Where are the rest of the Noble Six and Spike? Flare said they abandoned him, but… I don’t think it would be that simple. Something’s up with them.” Twilight assumed.
“For our sake, ah hope it was all a trick to get help.” AppleJack said.
“Or worse…. What if they got captured?!” Flutters asked as she started to freak out. “I don’t think I can take this!”
Discord appears on the balcony along with me and two representatives of the Trade Federation and Poggle the Lesser. Poggle started talking, but neither Discord nor I knew a word he was saying. “What did he say?” I asked.
“It sounds like he’s choking on something.” Discord said.
“See? I told him we shouldn’ve gone out for bufflo wings.” Nute Gunray of the Trade Federation complained.
“Why are you two here?” I asked.
“I actually summoned them to make things a little more like Star Wars.” Discord said.
“I was never in the Clone Wars series, but I really wanted to.” Rune Haako of the Trade Federation said.
“Yeah that’s nice, good-bye.” Discord said as he snapped his fingers and the two Trade Federation guys vanished. “They weren’t necessary.”
“I thought your magic didn’t work?” I asked him.
“They were holograms too. I can make holograms of anything, but they’re not that effective.” Discord said.
“Well it will soon, brah. I don’t even know what we’re doing here.” I said.
“Well, the boss said we should kill the Mane Six, but then I thought, that’s too harsh. I’m no murderer. I spread chaos, I don’t physically harm. That’s against my nature.” Discord explained.
“So what are we doing?” I asked.
“The weapon that was used to capture the Mane Six has been modified to suck the magic of friendship right out of them, completely! No princess letter can fix that. They will remain the opposite of themselves for life.” Discord explained.
“Good. Without the Elements of Harmony, they cannot stop you.” I said.
“Precisely!” Discord said. So a royal guard brings in a microphone and places it near Discord. “Uhh,,, a little higher, if you please?” The guard expands the microphone up to Discord’s height, which is… pretty tall; so tall not even the microphone will get up to his level, so Discord just shrinks before he speaks through it. He clears his throat and said, “Fillies and gentlecolts! Welcome to the Chaos Arena!” Discord said as the audience started cheering. “Now we’re going to have a great show tonight because we’re gonna give the Mane Six the mental pain they gave to my loyal apprentice and by extension me.”
“I thought you were the apprentice?” I asked him.
“Now our contract says we can’t give any physical pain, injuries, or death, so we’re just gonna hurt their feelings until they’ll beg for us to end their suffering, which will be at the hands off my client’s new weapon.” Discord said. “Fellow geonosians, I give you….” A couple of royal guards push out a giant weapon that is covered in a blanket. The guards remove the blanket revealing a huge weapon with plasma cells on it and a giant S logo on the side. “THE MATTER RAY! Which is a pretty stupid name he made up.” The audience cheered.
“What in blue blazes is that?!” AppleJack yelled.
“I’m not sure.” Twilight said.
“Wow, that’s a first.” Rainbow said sarcastically.
“My dear girls…” Discord teleported to them and said. “This device is what captured you in the first place, and now is being used to suck the magic of friendship right out of you!”
“That’s not possible!” Twilight yelled.
“We seen him do it already once.” Rainbow reminded her.
“Ok, Rainbow, you’re not really helping.” Twilight complained.
“Oh but Twilight, it IS possible! I mean, the magic of friendship is the most powerful magic in all of Equestria, I admit that.” Discord said. “But can your magic of friendship withstand… technology?” he asked as he dresses up as Ben Franklin with a kite and then he gets struck by holographic lightning.
“I… don’t know.” Twilight admitted.
“Well, lucky you, you’re about to find out. Just sit back and enjoy the show and you’ll soon find out how it will work.” Discord said as he teleported back to the stand. “Now let’s meet our stars! Our first star is a unicorn pony that’s great and powerful, knows great magic tricks, but got put down and kicked out of many towns after her poor performances. Time for her to regain her dignity! Please welcome, the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Trixie appears in the middle of the stadium, blowing kisses at the audience, waving, and smile at them, and firing fireworks made of liquid up in the air.
“She’s not a robot is she?” I asked.
“No she’s not.” Discord said.
“Ok good. Wouldn’t feel right having a twist like that again.” I said.
“Our next star is a griffin, not Peter Griffin, not Griffindore, but a mean scary machine! Put your hooves together for Gilda!” Gilda jumps out in the middle of the stadium, posing for the audience, and gives out loud roars.
“Gilda? I knew she was a bully, but not like this!” Rainbow panicked.
“Next we have a buffalo from the Equestrian desert. He’s a leader of a group of buffalos, and almost destroyed a town because they grew apple trees on their trails! Please give it up for the Chief Thunderhooves!” Discord said as Thunderhooves charges out, and knocks a pile of crates and the crates break, and T-Shirts start flying out into the crowd.
“Ah shoot. Ah thought we were friends with him now? This is gonna be a problem.” AppleJack said.
“Next is a dragon that loves to pick on smaller dragons, and steal phoenix eggs. He’s red, he breathes fire, and he’s Grable!” Discord said. Garble flies out into the arena, breathing fire out, juggling some gems, and then throwing them in his mouth.
“Wow. All that we had a conflict with in the passed seems to be in this arena, and they’re going to be hurting our feelings, real bad.” Rarity said.
“Our next lucky visitor was a former Ponyville hero, until her secret identity was revealed, but now a mysterious pony has taken her place, and is going to insult the happiness right outta them! Put your hooves in the air for the Mysterious Mare Do Well!” Discord said. Mare Do Well swings outside, and poses for everypony.
“What? The Mysterious Mare Do Well? But.... how?” Rainbow asked.
“We were the Mysterious Mare Do Well!” Twilight said. “H-how is that possible?”
“And finally we have another dragon, but not any ordinary dragon, this dragon has history with them. He’s not a little guy, that’s for sure. Because of the special gems we’ve given him in the caves, his inner greed has been released once again! Please welcome, Spike the Dragon!” Discord said.
“SPIKE?!” the Mane Six said at the same time. They all heard a roar coming from the sky. A huge dragon was climbing the stadium walls, and then he crashed down into the arena. Spike has grown to an adult dragon. He gave out a big roar, and breathed smoke on the Mane Six.
“Spikey-Wikey? What have they done to you?” Rarity asked in worry.
“Did you bring your ruby with you, Rarity? That’s what stopped him before.” Flutters asked.
“Nope, I left it home. We’re goners.” Rarity said.
“Wait… Spike is one of my traitors! Why is he in this?!” I complained.
“A dragon would do anything for greed. Give him what he wants and you two will be ‘bros for life’ once again.” Discord explained.
“How did you do it?” I asked.
“Those gems in the cave you left him in weren’t any ordinary gems. They helped his full body grow 10 sizes this day, and his heart 3 sizes smaller.” Discord said.
“Then in that case… HEY SPIKE, I GOT A WHOLE MINE FULL OF SPECIAL TREATS FOR YOU IF YOU DO WHAT WE SAY AND BE MY BRO FOR LIFE! CAPIECHE?!” Spike nodded as he roared at the Mane Six again.
“Now, let the insulting begin!” Discord said. So Trixie, Gilda, Thunderhooves, Grable, Mare Do Well, and Spike all glared at the Mane Six and began to throw insults at them.
“Hey Twilight, I burned all your books!” Trixie said. “All your books mean nothing. Princess Celestia is a terrible teacher.”
“AAAH! No! That’s not true!” Twilight cried.
“Hey Pinkie, your parties stink. Your cupcakes are terrible! You have no friends!” Gilda said.
“I know… you don’t have to remind me, jerk.” Pinkie said grumpily.
“Hey, Rainbow Dash? The Wonderbolts will never let you join them. The Sonic Rainboom is a weak trick. Blaze wants to break up with you for me white friend.” Garble said.
“BLAZE WOULD NEVER!” Rainbow yelled. “WAIT TILL I GET MY HOOVES ON YOU!”
“Hey AppleJack? Pears are best fruit ever-no, oranges are. You make the worst cider ever, and the Film Flam brothers should’ve taken over your farm. Also I officially destroyed Applelossa a couple of weeks ago.” Thunderhooves said.
“NO WONDER AH HAVEN’T HEARD FROM THEM IN AGES!” AppleJack yelled.
“Hey Fluttershy? You’re the worst animal taker ever. I bet they’d look good on my dining room table!” Mare Do Well said.
“WHAT?!” Fluttershy cried.
“Yes, they’ll gain lots of weight by eating all that food I serve for them on my dining room table! They’ll get fat, and all dirty!” Mare Do Well said.
“YOU MONSTER!” Fluttershy cried. “I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOU TALKED!”
“Hey Rarity? What’s purple and white, and full of dirt?” Spike asked.
“Don’t you dare!” Rarity yelled.
“ME!” Spike said as he covers himself in mud and melted marshmallow.
“AAAH! SPIKE DON’T GET YOURSELF DIRTY! I can’t stand to bear looking at another individual that looks like garbage!” Rarity whined. “Also the melted marshmallow thing seems a little racist.”
Discord began to laugh. “This is so fun! Hey Darth, how about passing me some popcorn?” I passed Discord the popcorn, but the popcorn bag just falls through his hand since he’s a hologram. “Oh, right.”
“MAKE THIS STOP!” Flutters yelled.
“Can’t… ignore it… any… longer! Losing… confidence….” AppleJack grunted and sweated.
“C’mon Flare, snap out of it!” Twilight yelled.
“No, Twilight, this is just you and me and saying how much history books make great camp fires.” Trixie said.
“NOT THE HISTORY BOOKS!” Twilight yelled.
From the balcony, behind Discord, a pony started walking towards him and I. It was Big Mac, and he just places an apple right in front of my face.
“Eeeyup.” he said. Discord turned around.
“Who are you? Get off the stand!” Discord demanded.
“Nnnnope.” Big Mac said.
“AppleJack, look!” Fluttershy pointed.
AppleJack gasped, “BIG MCINTOSH?!”
“Eeeyup!” Big Mac said mischievously. The Wonderbolts fly in the sky, and they start dropping bags of apples down at the arena. Trixie, Gilda, and the other antagonists all jump out of the way and take cover.
“The Wonderbolts!” Rainbow cried out in excitement. Some geonosians in the arena uncloaked themselves and they are revealed to be ponies from Ponyville. Bon Bon, Lyra, Derpy, Vinyl, Octavia, the Cakes, Zecora, the Doctor, Cheerilee, Black Thunder, Wind Racer, Keith, etc. The Wonderbolts fly down at the Mane Six, and unchained them. They also remove Twilight and Rartiy's metal rings from their horns so they can use their magic again. They also unstrap Rainbow Dash's and Fluttershy's wings so they can fly again.
“What in the world?!” Discord yelled.
“Excellent, excellent!” I said mischievously sounding like Mr. Burns.
“You know it really sounds better when I say that. I’m more of a Mr. Burns than you.” Discord said. “Anyways, what’s so excellent?”
“Just throwing the insults at the Mane Six? Where’s the fun in that? It is time to beat them in competition! We will fight them! It is time for an epic battle! Hatred is Epic!” I yelled.
“Hmm.... Interesting.” Discord said nodded. Pinkie sits there near the column, but then Spitfire goes down, and shoves a pizza in her mouth.
“Here, this should help, kid.” Spitfire said. Pinkie eats the pizza, and then she smiles and her mane goes back to normal. She jumps around in joy.
“IS THAT ONE OF MY PIZZAS?!” I yelled. “OH these ponies are SO dead!”
“I’m back to my old self again!” Pinkie cried out in excitement.
“An orange filly said some of Flare Gun’s pizzas would return a pony back to their original state. It looks like its true.” Spitfire said.
“It is true. I did say that.” I nodded. “TRIXIE, GRIFFIN, MARE DO WELL, BUFFILO WINGS, JERKY SPIKE, SPIKE, AFTER THE MANE SIX AND MAKE SURE YOU AVOID ALL PIZZAS!” I demanded.
“Yes, Darth Flare!” they all said as they all glared at the Mane Six. All the geonosians in the arena and all the royal guards were fighting the Ponyville reinforcements, so the Mane Six were left fighting past foes.
“Looks like it’s time to get this party started! HIT IT, VINYL!” Pinkie yelled. Vinyl Scratch, activates her DJ system and plays Barracuda by Heart.
“Oh yeah, baby! This is gonna get good!” Vinyl said.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie does not fight.” Trixie said.
“Well, we have no choice at this point! Let do this!” Gilda yelled. The Mane Six and the antagonists all charged at each other, but Twilight turned to me and started singing.
“So this ain’t the end, I saw you again! Today, had to turn my heart away.” Twilight sang to me.
“You smiled like the sun, kisses for every....!” Pinkie sang while hopping around and throwing chocolate kisses around.
“....One. And tales, it never fails.” Fluttershy sang as she whimpered and
“You lying so low in the weeds, bet you gonna ambush me.” Rarity sang as she looked at herself in a mirror until Gilda grabs it and breaks it.
“You had me down down down down on my knees....” Rainbow sang as she started kicking Gilda’s face with her knees.
“Now wouldn’t ya, Barracuda?” AppleJack sang. “Wow…. that was random.”
“I love singing about fish!” Pinkie said excitedly. “Like I love singing about having hydrophobia. That’s why I always drink soda instead of water.”
“Back over time, when we were all trying....” Trixie sang as she squirted Rarity and Fluttershy with some water squirted spell she was using.
“.... for free. Me up with porpoise and me.” Discord sang. “Ah ha! I got a chance to have dialogue!”
“No right no wrong your spelling a song!” Gilda sang as she bopped Rarity’s and AppleJack’s heads together.
“A naaaaame whisper game!” Garble sang as he used his firebreath on Rarity and Pinkie.
“And if the real thing don’t do the trick, you better make up something quick.” Thunderhooves sang as he headbutted Rarity and Twilight.
“You gonna burn burn burn burn burn out to the wick. Ooooooo....” Mare Do Well sang.
“Barracuda.” Spike sang.
“WHY IS EVERYPONY BEATING ON ME?!” Rarity complained as she brushed her hair and then threw it at Garble’s face.
“OW!” Garble yelled.
“Sell me sell you the porpoise said, dive down deep to save my head, you....” the Mane Six sang as they were fighting the antagonists.
“I think you got the blues too.” Twilight sang.
“All that night and all the next swam without looking back. Made for the western pools.” The antagonists sang as they were fighting the Mane Six.
“Silly silly fools.” Spike sang.
“The Mane Six is winning the battle! Barf Flare, do something!” Discord demanded.
“DARTH Flare!” I corrected him.
“ATTACK!” Discord demanded.
“My anger is strong now, I feel…” I jumped off the balcony but I fell on my stomach as the music cut off. I held my stomach and started grunting in pain much like Peter Griffin has when he hurt his knee. “Pfffft! AHHHHH! Pffffft! AHHHHHH! Pfffffft! AHHHHH!”
“Are you alright?” Thunderhooves asked.
“Gimmie a sec, gimmie a sec.” I said as I hurt my stomach in pain. “I am SO GLAD I didn’t eat anything big! Ugggh! Ok… ok… I’m good, let us continue.” The music started up again and I decided to test out my newly formed anger. I ran to the middle of the arena and started using my second-favorite spell. “IMMA FIRIN MAH SHOOP DA WHOO-WO-WO-WO-WO-WO-WOOP!” I yelled as I charged my horn and fired my laser at a column. The column started tipping over.
“BRAISE FOR IMPACT!” Spitfire yelled as everypony charged out of the way of the column as it fell down and the arena got all dusty.
“Well I’ll be damned. It’s working.” Discord nodded.
I walked towards the Mane Six as they were laying down on the ground as the dust cleared off. “And if the real thing don’t do the trick. No, you better make up something quick.” I sang. “You gonna burn burn burn burn burn out to the the wick! Aaaah barra-barracuda! Yeah!”
After a few more moments of everypony fighting, Twilight was fighting Trixie. Trixie kept squirting a ton of water on her. “Sweet Celestia, Trixie! What’s with you and water?” she complained.
“The Great and Poweful Trixie loves water. Just as much as the Great and Powerful Trixie loves the all mighty Discord!” Trixie said. “Oh, and I must say. Your spells and books and Celestia are stupid.” She laughs.
“Alright that’s it! I HAD IT WITH YOUR INSULTS!” Twilight yelled. Twilight fired a punch spell on Trixie and Trixie got knocked into the wall. “HA! Like that?!”
“Wow, Twilight, you’re bad!” Rainbow said shockingly. “I like it. I like dark Twilight.”
“I don’t know what’s happening to me. This mountain isn’t just getting the best of Flare, it might be getting the best of all of us.” Twilight said.
“Wait, Twilight, look.” Rainbow pointed to Trixie, who was lying on the ground and her body started to get all staticy.
“What in Celestia’s name is…” Twilight walks over to knocked-out Trixie and sees some sort of device on her wrist. Trixie’s form begins to change and it turns into the shape and form of Aquatic Armor. “Wait a minute… AQUATIC ARMOR?!”
“Whoa… trippy!” Rainbow commented.
“This device… what is this?” Twilight asked as she observes the device on his wrist. “Wait… this might be the reason why Aqua changed his form. Oh shoot…” Twilight turns Aqua’s passed out body around and sees the same red ‘S’ scar on his left eye. “He’s brainwashed too!”
“You’re dead, squirt!” Gilda taunted Pinkie.
“Oh, but I don’t think you and I were very well acquainted with my party cannon yet, Gilda!” Pinkie said as she takes out her party cannon and blasted it on Gilda. Gilda knocks into a column and passes out. “Yippie! I win! I NEVER leave home without my party cannon! Even captured!” Gilda’s form gets all staticy and her form changes into Psyche. “What the? PSYCHE?!” Twilight runs over to Psyche and sees the same changing device on his wrist as well as another ‘S’ scar on his eye.
Pinkie gasped. “GILDA IS A CHANGELING! Or maybe she was Psyche the whole time! The nerve!”
“This isn’t Gilda, and Psyche didn’t mean this.” Twilight explained. “Wait a minute… GIRLS, STOP FIGHTING THEM!”
“A little busy right now, Twilight.” AppleJack said as she was riding on Thunderhooves’ back. “Get along little buffalo!” AppleJack kept riding on Thunderhooves’ back and he starts going out of control and hits his head on the wall which knocks him out. Twilight uses her magic to destroy the device on Thunderhooves’ wrist, and his form turns into the shape of Engie.
“ENGIE?! What sort of trickery is this?!” AppleJack yelled.
“These aren’t our past foes! They’re the Noble Six!” Twilight yelled.
“Yes, and they’re better than ever! We’ll be friends forever… under Discord’s control!” I said.
“Blaze, is that you?” Rainbow asked Garble as he was about to pounce on her.
“Your husband is a freak. Why would you devote your life to a loser like him?” Garble asked.
“Because I love him! I always will! You’re him, so snap out of it!” Rainbow demanded.
“Why would I be that freakshow?” Garble asked. “My name is Garble even though my name is never mentioned, so how does everypony know who I am?”
“Yeah Chrysalis has that same problem.” Rainbow said. “But no! It’s you! You’re Blaze Goldheart! You’re a Wonderbolt! You’re a draconian with phoenix powers! Remember me, Blaze. Remember me…” she begged.
“I… I…” Garble startled. “R-R-Rainbow…. I’m…. I’m…..” But before Garble can come to his nonexisting instincts, AppleJack bucks Garble, knocking him out, and Twilight uses her magic to take out the changing device on Garble’s waist.
“Oh c’mon, I was about to get to him!” Rainbow complained.
“I think him is a her, Rainbow.” AppleJack pointed. Just then Garble changes his form to change into the shape of Crystal Iceblast.
“H-h-h-HOW?!” Rainbow yelled. “She was breathing fire! Only Blaze can do that!”
Just then, Mare Do Well was thrown right into the wall and her changing device fails and turns into the shape of Blaze. Fluttershy felt a little nervous. “Umm… did I do that? I’m sorry.”
“Did you just beat Mare Do Well up, Fluttershy?” Rarity asked.
“No. I just whimpered here on the ground right as she was about to tackle me. She seemed to miss.” Fluttershy explained.
“Why would the Noble Six do this? Did Discord have something to do with this as well?” AppleJack asked.
“Discord is all chaotic magic, not technology. Not to mention Discord is just a hologram, which must mean… somepony else must be responsible for all this, but who?” Twilight asked.
“You are certainly smart, Twilight Sparkle.” Discord said. “But you haven’t won yet.”
“We’re free, Discord, and once we find your stoned body…” Twilight started.
“HA! Stoned!” Pinkie laughed as she forgets that I just made that joke in the beginning of this chapter.
“We’re going to disable that hologram projector and put an end to all this!” Twilight said.
“Not if my apprentice has anything to say about this.” Discord said mischievously.
“Evil lawl lawl lawl!” I said as I aimed the matter cannon right at the Mane Six.
“Flare… don’t do it.” Twilight warned me.
“I’m actually trying to right now, but I have NO idea how to control this thing.” I said.
“Press the big red button.” Discord instructed me.
“Really? Because big red buttons always lead to something bad.” I said.
“JUST PRESS IT!” Discord demanded. I had to obey my master, so I pressed the big red button and I fired the cannon right at the Mane Six. A shockwave gets shot out of the cannon, but even though the Mane Six were affected by the blast, it was more like just a force push to them.
“Ah ha! Well done, Darth Flare! I had complete confidence in you!” Discord said.
“Ugh!” Twilight rubbed her head and regained her senses. “Are you girls ok?”
“Ah feel….. ah…. Don’t feel any different.” AppleJack said.
“Yeah me neither.” Rarity said.
“I feel differenter than different!” Pinkie said.
“Say what now? Darth, didn’t you just fire the cannon at them to suck the friendship right out of them?” Discord asked.
“Ooooooh, you weren’t really being pacific on which mode you wanted- SHUT UP I CAN’T SAY PACIFIC RIGHT WAY!” I yelled.
“So you just used the same shockwave we used to capture them on them again, huh?” Discord asked.
“Pretty much, yeah.” I nodded.
“We can’t stay here.” Rainbow whispered. “We have to disable Discord’s hologram and find a way to cure the Noble Six and the guards.”
“Let’s look around the mountain and see what we can find.” Twilight advised them.
“Right, let’s get moving!” Rainbow said as the Mane Six began to escape the arena where the Ponyville reinforcements were beating the mind-controlled guards and geonosians. Just as the Mane Six exit the arena, the arena cage door closes with Twilight still on the other side.
“TWILIGHT?!” the Mane Six cried.
Twilight attempted to use her magic to get the gate opened, but it wouldn’t budge. AppleJack did the same by bucking the cage, but still nothing. “I can’t get this opened!” Twilight yelled.
“Neither can us.” Fluttershy said.
“Yep, neither can us.” Rainbow agreed.
“Neither can us? Really? Ah did all the work. Y’all just stood there helplessly.” AppleJack reminded them.
“Heeeeey ladies!” I said. Twilight turned around and saw me and adult Spike who was standing behind me. “What’s the rush? The show’s not over yet!”
Twilight turned back to her friends and said, “Go on without me. I’ll take care of him.”
“Be careful darling!” Rarity said.
“We’ll take care of Discord.” AppleJack said.
“Also pleeeeeease don’t harm Flare that much, Twilight!” Fluttershy begged. “He did not mean any of this. Please don’t hate him!”
“It’s ok, Fluttershy. I will do what I need to do. I will help Flare be cured of this curse, you’ll see.” Twilight said.
“Maybe I should stay and help you.” Fluttershy thought.
“No, Fluttershy, you have to help stop Discord. I promise… I pinkie promise that Flare will be safe.” Twilight swore as she places her hoof on her eye.
“C’mon, Flutters, you can trust Twilight to take care of him.” AppleJack said to her. Fluttershy was a little nervous, but she went with it. The Mane Five all ran off to find stoned Discord. No I’m not making that joke again, we already said it twice. Third time’s the grave. Twilight turned over to me and poses in her attack position.
“You should’ve never betrayed me, Twilight. We would’ve been home by now, safe and sound. But you decided to put me down! Surrender, and turn yourself over to Discord, and we will be friends once again. Equestria will be better, sista!” I promised.
“Flare, Discord tricked you. We would never put you down like that!” Twilight said.
“But you did. I saw it with my own eyes, heard it with my own ears, smelled it with my own nose, tasted it with my own mouth, and even touched it with my own… umm… join us, Twilight!” I demanded.
“No.” Twilight said.
“But Light, don’t you understand? Discord has already won. There’s no stopping him. He wants to make Equestria a better place.” I said.
“Yeah, for himself!” Twilight said.
“For everypony! We will spread the lulz like it’s meant to spreaded! Spread the lulz like butter! Please, Twilight, join us, and we will be friends again, I assure you!” I promised.
“Never!” Twilight yelled as Spike roared.
“Never say never.” I said. “You still have a chance to change your mind, not like when Derpy didn’t have the chance to change her joke.”
A cutaway shows Derpy talking to Pinkie Pie. “Hey, Pinkie. Knock, knock!” she said.
Pinkie chuckled and said, “Who’s there?”
“Hey, guess what?” Derpy asked.
“What?” Pinkie asked.
“To get to the other side!” Derpy said and laughed. Pinkie didn’t laugh though.
“That is a very old joke, Derpy.” Pinkie said. The cutaway ends.
Kay, sista, if you’re gonna be that way. SPIKE ATTACK!” I yelled. Spike roared and Twilight’s horn begins to glow, but Twilight cannot harm her number one assistant.
“I…..I cannot fight you two! Spike is my number one assistant, and you’re my friendship student, Flare! I will not stand to your level. You two are brainwashed, and I will not let my emotions get the best of me. Even if rumors and gossip go around and if even if they are true, what makes you think I can think differently of my friends? I know what is true. Discord has brainwashed you, and I don’t blame you, Flare!”
“How many times are you going to say the word ‘you’?” I asked.
“No matter what curse Discord’s put on you, and no matter how many of those insults you gave me, you are always a dear friend of us, Flare Gun, and there is nothing that disharmony can do to stop that!” Twilight explained.
“But Twilight don’t you…. AAAH!” I yelled. My eyes began to switch between blue to red. Twilight knew for sure she was close to snapping me out of the curse.
“That’s right, Flare… this isn’t you. You’re a nice pony. Fight, Flare! Fight!” Twilight persuaded me. The inner me was really trying to fight. I really didn’t want to be a jerk. I lost the will to make once, and I will not let it happen again! Even though I was no problem to Twilight at this time, Spike was still. Spike roared and began breathing fire at Twilight’s direction. Twilight dodges out of the way, but as she dodges she trips. Spike was about to finish Twilight off, but suddenly, Spike gets hit in the head with an anvil and he passes out. Up in the sky were the Cutie Mark Crusaders riding my Wafflecopter.
“Bullseye!” Sweetie Belle yelled.
“Why does Flare keep an anvil in here anyway?” Scootaloo asked.
“HEY! That’s my Wafflecopter!” I yelled. “YOU STOLE MY WAFFLECOPTR!”
“Look out below!” Sweetie Belle said while dropping a slice of pizza in Spike’s mouth.
“HEY! THOSE ARE MY PIZZAS! YOU BETTER HAVE PAID FOR THAT!” I yelled. Spike started to smile and then he started shrinking back to his regular self.
“Hmm hmm! That was so good! I’m back to normal! Woo hoo!” Spike cried out in excitement.
“NOOOO! That wasn’t supposed to happen! Stop using my own pizzas to defeat us!” I demanded. “We can’t lose! Discord wins!”
“No, Flare. Discord lost. You won. You were in our side all along!” Twilight said.
“THE POWER OF THE WIZARDS OF HOPE, STRENGTH, AND FEELINGS COMPELS YOU!” I yelled as I activated my hornsaber.
“Flare, I don’t want to fight you.” Twilight said.
“IT’S DARTH FLARE! DAAAAAARRRRTH!” I corrected her.
“Fine, you wanna do this retro? Fine, let’s do this retro.” Twilight said. “I never done this before. I hope it works.” Twilight starts grunting, and her horn starts glowing.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Facing you with your own magic!” Twilight said. As Twilight was trying hard to copy my spell, her horn lit and she activates her own hornsaber.
“I see you have constructed a new hornsaber.” I nodded. “Mine’s bigger than yours though, lawl! And you never even trained. This is gonna be easy-cheesy!”
“Twilight? Flare? What’s going on?” Spike asked.
“Spike, go on. Save yourself.” Twilight demanded.
“But Twlight!” Spike whined.
“I’ll catch up with you later. Just go! NOW!” Twilight demanded.
“Be careful! You too Flare!” Spike said as he runs off, but then he gets stopped by the Noble Six.
“Where are you going little dragon?” Crystal asked.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie will never let ya through!” Aqua yelled.
“Uhh... you guys alright? Why do you have ugly looking scars on your faces?” Spike asked. Psyche roared in Spike’s face like Gilda. “Stay down there if you know what’s good for you, twerp!”
“Okay, this is awkward.” Spike said as he then started to run pass them.
“Hey, he’s getting away! The great Mare Do Well will never let him get away!” Blaze yelled. They all started chasing him.
“Let’s do this thang, sister! C’mon! C’mon!” I started jumping from my left legs to my right legs, preparing to fight Twilight. “Let’s do this! C’mon! Ooo, ooo, ooo, you scared Twilight? You scared? Scared to face me? C’mon bring it on! C’mon, my legs are getting tired, let’s do this!” Just then Twilight started charing at me and we started having a hornsaber battle. Meanwhile, inside the mountain, the Mane Six were running across through the corridors, trying to find Discord’s statue.
“You girls find anything yet?” AppleJack asked.
“Not yet, dear.” Rarity said. “Seriously, this place needs to get cleaned up.”
“AAAAAH!” Spike yelled as he ran across the halls and jumps up on Rainbow Dash’s face.
“Spike, please get off my face.” Rainbow mumbled.
“Guys, the Noble Six! They’ve gone loco!” Spike freaked out.
“That’s ridiculous. They’ve changed back to their regular selves!” AppleJack thought.
“No you don’t understand. They’re minds are still programed to what Discord made them!” Spike explained.
“Don’t be silly, Spike! The Noble Six are our friends! They would never hurt us!” Pinkie said.
Psyche lunged at Pinkie and put her in a head-lock. “Got you now, shrimp!” he said.
“Psyche? What are you doing? Is this a wrestling game we’re doing?” Pinkie asked.
“Psyche? Who’s Psyche? I’m Gilda, remember? Idiot!” Psyche reminded her.
“Seriously, what’s going on here?” Flutters asked just as Blaze jumps on top of her.
“For great justice!” Blaze yelled.
“None of you can outmatch the power of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Aqua yelled as he soaks Rarity.
“AAAH! Why is everypony attacking me the most?!” Rarity complained.
“Y’alkl will think twice before putting apples in mah path! Applelossa is done for, AppleJack!” Engie said.
“I never put apples anywhere near your path, Engie.” AppleJack corrected him.
“No, but yer cousin did. After you’re done, he’s next! My buffalo stampede will destroy your town and there’s nothing ya can do to stop us!” Engie said.
“Oh… so ya didn’t attack Applelossa yet. Phew.” AppleJack said in relief. “Ya really scared me there for a sec, sugarcube.”
Rainbow Dash started walking backwards, but then Crystal popped up behind her. “How’s it going, squirt?” Crystal asked mischievously.
“Crystal, I… why am I stuck with Crystal? I wanna help Blaze snap out of it!” Rainbow complained.
“She’s talking jibberish. For justice and peace in Equestria, they shall all be burnt to the stake!” Blaze yelled.
“Oh c’mon! Mare Do Well wasn’t even that harsh.” AppleJack complained.
“Enough talk! Let us finish this!” Psyche yelled.
“Trixie does not agree more.” Aqua said as the Noble Five began to attack the Mane Five.
Meanwhile, back with Twilight and I were still having our hornsaber duel. So far, both of us were doing well. We both jumped backwards and both began strafing to our right, preparing for our next move. “Princess Celestia has taught you well.” I said. “If you went with Luna, maybe you would’ve been better, like I.”
“Flare, one princess isn’t better than the other. All I know is… friendship overpowers all threats.” Twilight said.
“I can feel it. I can feel your anger, sista! How does it feel?” I asked. “You should join me. And together, with our combined powers, we can free Discord, and rule Equestria! Together! We’ll forget about our little disagreement before, and you can make up for what you’ve done to me, if you join us!”
“I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU!” Twilight yelled.
“Well I always said ‘I’ll never play Amnesia’, but after a little while ago, I can’t stop playing!” I said.
“That’s different.” Twilight said.
“Yeah, that’s different, that’s different. Why do you have to think you’re smarter than everypony, Twilight?” I complained.
“I read ‘How to be a smart-flank, for eggheads’ a little while ago.” Twilight said.
“Is that supposed to be a rip-off of a ‘for dummies’ book?” I asked.
“For what?” Twilight asked.
“For dummies.” I said.
“I… I don’t follow.” Twilight said confusingly.
“No matter, let us finish this!” I said as the two of us continued hornsaber dueling.
Meanwhile back in the cave corridors, the Noble Five still surrounded the Mane Five. “Stop struggling, you little twerp!” Psyche demanded as he still has Pinkie in a head-lock.
“Psyche, snap out of it! You’re not meanie griffin!” Pinkie yelled. “Griffins are bad! Griffins are jerks! Griffins are bullies!”
A cutaway shows a griffin reading my story. “Wow… this story is very racist.” He complained. The cutaway ends.
“Careful with my hair, darling!” Rarity begged.
“Nopony tells the Great and Powerful Trixie what to do!” Aqua yelled.
“I miss the kind Aqua that doesn’t yell and spit on me all the time.” Rarity complained as she wipes her face.
“There’s gotta be something we can do to snap them outta this spell.” AppleJack said.
“Shut it, Apple! Yer an apple!” Engie yelled.
“Ya think callin me an apple is insulting?” AppleJack asked.
“Ah’ll smash ya like an apple!” Engie yelled. “Oh dang, ah’m hungry for some apple pie. Maybe a pizza pie better yet.”
“Wait a minute.” Spike began to think. He remembers back when he was spazing out when the Mane Six got captured, I gave him one of my emergency pizzas to help him calm down, this lead to Spike getting an idea. Spike reaches inside one of the Noble Six’s bags that were hanging in the corner and took out a pizza. “This will definitely help!”
“What’s that for?” Rainbow asked.
“Flare said if somepony is not themselves, feed them a pizza and they’ll feel like their old selves again. That’s what the crusaders gave me to shrink me back to my original self.” Spike explained.
“So what are ya waitin’ for then?! Feed the Noble Six that pizza!” AppleJack demanded.
“Huh?” Spike asked as he was about to eat the pizza. “Oh… feed them the pizza. I guess that can work too.” Spike rips up little pieces of the pizza and stuffs each little part in the Noble Five’s mouths. The Noble Five began to grunt and wheeze as they held their heads and their ‘S’ scars began to disappear. “Yep! Order up!” Spike said mischievously.
Crystal burped and said, “Oh snap…”
“What happened?” Engie asked. “Why ah do ah have a spicy taste in mah mouth?”
“And why do I feel like I have to pass gas multiple times?” Psyche asked as he held his stomach. “Did I just eat dairy?!”
“PSYCHE, YOU’RE BACK!” Pinkie yelled in excitement as she tacklehugged him.
“What happened?” Aqua asked. “Where are we?”
“Did Discord’s experiment fail or something?” Blaze asked.
“BLAZE! THANK GOODNESS!” Rainbow cried out in excitement and hugged him, but she realizes she’s being a little too over enthusiastic so she clears her throat and said calmly, “Good to have you back, Blaze.”
“What happened? Why does my eye hurt so much?” Engie asked.
“And why does my throat hurt from yellin’ so much?” Aqua asked.
“My friends that is a pretty long story.” Pinkie said as she put her arm around Aqua, which made Aqua a little feel uncomfortable. “We will explain it all to you as the scene changes so we don’t explain the obvious to those who already know and bore them to death.”
Back with Twilight and I, we were still dueling, but very violently. “FLARE! STOP THIS! STOP IT NOW!” Twilight yelled.
“I’ll stop if you surrender!” I said.
“Will you stop with this, Flare?! YOU’RE BEING ANNOYING!” Twilight yelled.
“I KNEW YOU THOUGHT OF ME LIKE THAT!” I yelled.
“No... wait, Flare! I didn’t mean it!” Twilight begged.
My hornsaber glew very bright and very powerful. Just then, I swung it on Twilight’s horn and her horn gets cut in half. "WHOA! That was epic! I didn't know my hornsaber could do that! Leet!"
“NOO! My horn!” Twilight yelled.
“Evil lawl lawl lawl! Now what were you saying about winning and losing? Oh yeah, I win, and you…… didn’t win! AH HA!” I yelled. Twilight backs away from Flare slowly and I started walking slowly towards her. “You can’t beat me, Twilight. I’m Flare Gun! The awesomeist of all possums! The leetest of the leet! The best of the best! Now feel dat Mareami heat! All I wanted was friends, Twilight. Friends. You and your friends really hurt me bad, same with the Noble Six. Your betrayal will never be forgiven, unless you joined me, and we will free Discord!”
“I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU!” Twilight yelled.
“Discord never told you what happened to your friend Flare.” I said.
“He killed him! He killed my friend Flare, and replaced him with an evil version of him!” Twilight yelled.
“No, Twilight...... I.... AM YOUR FRIEND!” I said mischievously.
“NOOOOOOOOO!” Twilight yelled, but then she stopped and smiled. “Wait, really?”
“No, wait. That didn’t come out right.” I said to myself. “Now where was I? Ah yes. Join me, and together we’ll rule Equestria as friends! Evil ah ha!”
Twilight just stood there against the wall, she looked down, and then she said to herself, “Nope… no abyss.”
Meanwhile, the Mane Five and the Noble Five run back to the prison area. Waiting for them was Discord and Shining Armor. “FREEZE DISCORD!” Rainbow yelled.
“Is that supposed to be a pun about my stoned statue form?” Discord asked. “Seriously, that’s insulting. I feel so offended.” Discord spawns a box of tissues in his paw and blows his nose and wipes his tears. “How can you be so cruel?”
“Drop the act, Discord! Where’s your statue?” AppleJack asked.
“But this is my home. Can’t I feel comfortable in my own home? I swear, you ponies are very rude houseguests, much like a wasp.
A cutaway shows a bumblebee and a wasp talking. “Hi, I’m a bee.” The bee said.
“And I’m a wasp.” The wasp said. “And we’re to tell you the difference between our species so you wouldn’t get confused.
“Now I pollinate flowers, make honey, improve the environment, and I only sting when our territory is invaded, and after I sting I die.” The bee said.
“And me… well I’m just a jerk and I sting you whenever I feel like it.” The wasp said. “So I wouldn’t be a welcomed house guest.”
“Neither would I, but then again, I wouldn’t come in unless you have a flower in your house.” The bee said.
“Also I’m a jerk and I’ll sting you whenever I feel like it.” The wasp said again.
“It’s too bad mosquito couldn’t come to this meet.” The bee said to the wasp.
“Yeah, too bad he’s in therapy to get over his light addiction.” The wasp said. The cutaway ends.
“Now then, you’re not going anywhere near me! Once my apprentice comes, he’ll set me free, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!” Discord said. “Shining Armor, finish them!”
“With pleasure!” Shining said. “GUARDS!” Just then, the guards pick up Discord’s statue and throws it in an escape pod.
“Do we have anymore of those pizzas?” Crystal asked.
“No, we used them all up.” Blaze said.
“Game over, man! Game over!” Rarity cried out. “Wow…. never thought I’d say that.”
“Guys, if evil Flare taught me something.... IT’S THIS!” Pinkie yelled as she takes out a garlic roll and throws it at Shining Armor’s mouth. “BULLS EYE!” she cried.
“Mmm! Delicious!” Shining said. “But still, you’re too late! Don’t worry, Lord Discord, you’ll be safe!”
“Ha ha! We shall meet again Mane Six AND Noble Six. If Darth Flare is still under my control, there’s nothing you can do! I win!” Discord laughed as he changes his form to look like the Joker from Batman. Shining closes the escape pod and the escape pod gets launched out of the mountain, and Discord launches out of sight, as well as his hologram that disappears since his statue is out of range.
“Well… all’s well that ends well.” Shining said. “Good job, Mane and Noble Six!”
“Good job? Wow, we lost and then Shining said great job! Sounds pretty amazing!” Pinkie said excitedly.
“Wait… Shining? You’re not brainwashed at all, are you?” Psyche asked.
“You catch on pretty quick, Psyche.” Shining said as he wipes the ‘S’ scar from his eye, as well as the other guards.
“But wait… weren’t you all cursed under Discord’s spell?” Rarity asked.
“We were, but during your fight with the Noble Six in the guise of your enemies, some of your friends from Ponyville cured us by feeding us Flare’s pizzas. Then we had a plan to make Discord THINK we’re still under his control, and trick him into going into an escape pod, and now he’s gone.” Shining explained.
“So where did ya sent him to?” Aqua asked.
“Back into the Canterlot gardens where he belongs, and this time, we’re going to make sure he’s under close guard.” Shining said. “Also we’ll be sure to dismantle the hologram projector.”
“FLARE!” Fluttershy yelled. “We need to make sure he’s ok!”
“I’ll get on that. You all get into another escape pod and get outta here!” Shining instructed them.
“I have to make sure my friend goes back to normal and make sure he doesn’t think of anything funny.” Blaze said.
“I assure you, Blaze, that Flare will be kept safe. For now, get into the escape pod; GO!” Shining demanded. So the Noble Five, the Mane Five, and Spike all went inside one of the escape pods. Engie hopped onto the driver’s seat and pressed random buttons.
“So ya know how to control this thing, mate?” Aqua asked.
“Not really. Ah’m just pressin’ random buttons in levers until somethin’ happens.” Engie said. “Oh here we go! Buckle up!”
“You can’t say ‘buckle’ without ‘le’!” Crystal said.
“Or ‘buck’.” Psyche added.
“Oooo clever! I never thought of that!” Crystal nodded. Just then Engie launches the escape pod out of the mountain and they all begin flying back towards Everfree Forest.
Meanwhile with Twilight and I at the arena, all the geonosians were gone, and the Ponyville folk all fled the area. Twilight was leaning towards the wall, defenseless. “It is your destiny, sista! Join us or feel the wrath of my hornsaber!” I yelled.
“I’ll never join Discord. Flare, you maybe a big jerk on the outside, but on the inside is that sweet, funny, old Flare Gun that I’ve used to know.” Twilight said in a weak voice. “And there’s nothing anypony can do to take that away from you. You are what you are, and I respect your personality. No matter what you say, no matter what Discord does. You’re still my friend.”
“That’s very sweet, Twilight. I’m touched. I’ll never forget that. Smiley face.” I said with a smile. Twilight smiled along. “But I’m still gonna beat you with this thing, evil laughs!” Flare started beating Twilight with his hornsaber, but like a baseball bat, or a nightstick.
“OW! OW! I don’t care! OW! OW! You’re still my-OW-friend!” Twilight explained.
“HA HA! Now I’m gonna laugh evilly with my mouth opened wide.” I said as I began to laugh evilly, and just as we all expected, the Cutie Mark Crusaders dropped a pizza out of the sky and it landed in my mouth.
“Order up!” Sweetie Belle said mischievously
I stopped beating Twilight and ate it. “Hmm. That’s my pizza! It’s so good! Best pizza in Equestrria, brah! But wait... I’m starting to feel.... something. Oh wait… this is the smart where I hold my head and grunt as I return back to normal. Am I right?” I asked Twilight.
“I think so.” Twilight nodded.
“I figured.” I said as I covered my head with my hooves, and I started grunting and yelling. I fall on the ground and started rolling around and holding my face until my scar disappeared and my eyes returned back to normal. I just laid there, breathing for a few moments, but just then, I regained my senses and said, “Uhhh... Twilight?”
“Yeah?” Twilight asked.
“Why do I have the Barracuda song stuck in my head?” I asked.
“FLARE! YOU’RE BACK!” Twilight cried out in excitement as she gave me a hug.
“I know..... and sad thing is..... I remember everything.” I said.
Just then, Shining Armor and the guards ran over to us. “Twilie! Are you ok?”
“Shining, thank goodness! You’re back to normal!” Twilight said in relief as she hugged him. “Where are the rest of our friends?”
“Escape pod, as well as the rest of the Ponyville folk, and Discord has been defeated once again. We’re the only ones left on the mountain.” Shining explained.
“Good. How we going to get outta here?” Twilight asked.
“HEY CRUSADERS! DOWN HERE!” I yelled
“We’re comin, Flare!” Apple Bloom said as she lowers the Wafflecopter down to us. Shining Armor, his guards, and Twilight all hoped inside. Twilight was a little curious to why I haven’t yet.
“Flare, get in!” Twilight demanded.
“No, there’s still something I have to do here! Go on without me!” I demanded.
“WHAT!? Flare we are NOT leaving you!” Twilight yelled.
“I’ll be fine, I promise. I mean like Cortana from Halo says, ‘don’t make a girl a promise, if you know you can’t keep it’, and I NEVER break promises!” I said.
“I don’t play Halo, but… I can’t let you do this! I won’t have you sacrifice yourself! GET IN!” Twilight demanded.
“I won’t sacrifice myself. I’m too precious to die. Look at me, look how handsome I am, look how awesome I am. I’m the main character of this story… I cannot die!” I said.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but… I won’t have you risk it!” Twilight yelled.
“Go ahead, Twilight. Let’s keep arguing. We’ll never get outta here, and there’s a risk to whoever’s in charge of this to return and set this plan in motion again. I have to destroy the mountain, but if you want to keep arguing, I guess that’s up to you.” I said in an uncaring tone.
“UGH! I’m bored! Let’s just go!” Scootaloo complained.
“Don’t worry, Twilie, he said he’ll be fine.” Shining said with his arm around his sister.
“NO!” Twilight yelled. “I can’t let him do this! I’m getting out!”
“Ok, but can you survive a 600 foot drop?” Scootaloo asked as the Wafflecopter was already flying and out of the mountain.
“Wow that was fast.” Twilight said surprisingly.
Back at the mountain, it was up to me now, time to redeem myself! I have to destroy the mountain! I ran over to the matter weapon and began to mess with it’s controls. To be completely honest, I was a little scared thinking I would sacrifice myself, but I can’t lie to Twilight. I hate it when I’m lied to, and I cannot do the same thing back, but I had to do this. “HEY CHAOS MOUNTAINS?!” I shouted, but it didn’t respond since it was a mountain. “TIME TO FEEL DAT MAREAMI HEAT! PRAISE THE WIZARDS! SHTAIRS! LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL!” I pressed the button of the cannon and it fires and the impact blows up the whole mountain. A giant explosion filled the whole area and smoke filled the sky. Chaos Mountain was done for, as well as the matter weapon that captured the Mane Six in the first place was also destroyed, but my fate… well………. that remains to be seen.
Meanwhile at Everfree Forest where all the escape pods landed, the Wafflecopter also lands there and Twilight, Shining, the crusaders and the guards hop out.
“We did it! We made it!” Crystal cried out in excitement. “And I’m hungry for tacos. So are we gonna go out for tacos?”
“Ah’m in!” Engie said.
“Me too!” Pinkie said excitedly.
“Twilight! Crusaders! You made it!” Blaze said excitedly.
“But…. where’s Flare?” Fluttershy asked. Twilight was pretty worried. None of them said anything.
"Jeez Twilight, what happened to your horn?" Crystal asked.
“Wait... Flare’s not with ya?” Engie asked.
“NO! You didn’t leave him there in the mountain because there was no way of curing him and you didn’t forgive him for saying all those mean things to you so you just let him stay there, did you?! YOU MURDERERS!” Spike yelled.
“HE ASKED US TO GO, ALRIGHT?!” Twilight yelled angrily.
“Oh… sorry.” Spike said upsettingly.
“We returned him back to his original state, but he stayed to destroy the mountain, but he promised that he’d come back, and now I’m awaiting his promise.” Twilight said.
"Flare, is the most awesome friend a pony can ask for. He maybe rough around the edges, but he’s still pretty badflank.” Blaze said.
“He’s probably even more awesome than you, Blaze.” Rainbow said.
“Maybe you too, Rainbow.” Blaze nodded.
“Whoa, let’s not go that far.” Rainbow stopped him.
Aqua sniffled. "It's almost like I can hear his screaming right now." Aqua nodded. Just then a scream gets heard in the background. "Wait, I do hear some screaming.”
"LOOK OUT!" Crystal yelled as fireball was falling from the sky. All the ponies jumped out of the way, and the fireball landed in between them. The dust cleared, and it turned out to me, covered in a plasma effect.
"GHOST OF FLARE, AAAAAH!” Pinkie freaked out.
"Is that his Armor Lock spell?" Engie asked.
"Looks like it. Looks like his Armor Lock actually saved his life." Blaze said.
"Well Flare, I take back all I said about Armor Lock being an annoying spell. I do apologize." Psyche said. I turned off my Armor Lock spell, stood up, and didn't say a word.
"Great to have ya back, sugarcube!” AppleJack said. I didn’t respond, in fact, I just ran away.
“Nice work, AppleJack. You scared him off.” Crystal said sarcastically to her.
“Did the explosion make him crazy or somethin’?” Engie asked.
"Wait! Flare where you going?" Rainbow called out. The Mane Six, the Noble Five, and Spike all followed me.
“What’s goin’ on?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I think it’s best we return home, and let them handle this. Let’s tell the princesses that the mission was a success.” Shining said.
“Eeyup.” Big Mac agreed as him and everypony else walked off back home. Meanwhile, everypony that followed me found me by a lake. I was just sitting there, looking at the cake and… I MEAN LAKE, sorry! Do you ever get that problem with if a word sounds similar to another you say that by accident? Let me know in the comments below. Anyways I was sitting there by the lake, not saying a word, and just staring down at it.
"Flare? Are you okay, buddy?" Spike asked. I didn't say anything.
"Flare, you're a hero!” Rarity said. “You should be very proud of yourself.”
"Sniff. I'm no hero." I said. "All this time I was brainwashed by Discord. Then I.... insulted you all, threatened to end you, and..... and even...... threw garlic rolls at you."
"Flare, it's okay." Rainbow Dash said as she placed her hoof on my shoulder. "You didn't mean it. You were tricked."
"I..... I'm sorry.” I said as I held my hooves on my eyes. The Mane Six, and the Noble Six comforted me.
"There there, sugarcube. It's alright. We accept your apology." AppleJack said.
"Darling, you risked your life to save ours, and if that's not true friendship, I don't know what is." Rarity said.
"We'll never forget it, Flare." Twilight said.
"You are the funnest, funniest, sweetiest pony we know! We can never dis you!" Pinkie said. “That in unless you feed my broccoli, in that case, you’re dead to me.” Everypony glared at her.
"Sniff. You mean that?" I asked.
"Of course they do.” Aqua said.
“Ahem, he was talking to them.” Crystal reminded him.
“So you all didn’t betray me?” I asked the Noble Six.
"Bro, I was standing there by your side the whole time. I promised I wouldn’t leave you. How can I betray you after all that?” Blaze asked.
“The Noble Six sticks together, no matter what.” Aqua said.
“If I had all the gems in the world to trade for your friendship…. I wouldn’t trade it, but still I’d trade in a quarter of my stash at least.” Spike admitted.
“No matter what happens, Flare, we’re always a team, no matter what.” Psyche said.
“You said, ‘no matter what’ twice.” Crystal pointed out.
“Wait a minute… how do I know you all forgive me? How do I know this just isn’t a scam to help me feel better? I’m not stupid.” I asked.
“Flare… son Flare.” Fluttershy placed her hoof on my shoulder.
“Mama Fluttershy….” I said.
“Flare…. Having you back is better than a guy at work deciding that he wants to work.” Fluttershy said.
A cutaway shows a guy sitting at his desk at his job. “Well… I’m officially bored at work. Might as well work.” The guy said. The cutaway ends.
I was shocked. “Flutters, you…. You….. you did a…. cutaway gag!” I said shockingly.
“For you, Flare. I did a cutaway gag for you, and trust me it wasn’t easy.” Flutters admitted.
“Yeah I helped her out.” Pinkie said with a smile and squee.
“It doesn’t matter. It proves it. You do forgive me, and…. Wow…. this is…. Mane Six you never seize to amaze me!” I said.
“Here you go, Flare.” Twilight said as she gave me a rolled my scroll of some sort.
“What’s this? Shouldn’t you give this to Spike?” I asked.
“No it’s yours, Flare! It’s your diploma! You passed! We’ve taught you so much about friendship that we have nothing left to teach you, well personally.” Twilight explained. “I mean… we ourselves still have a lot to learn about friendship, and you do too, but now, you’re officially an expert on it, and I am proud of you!”
“So you just carried this with you the whole time?” I asked.
“Actually it’s just a rolled up empty scroll, I’ll give you a proper diploma when we get home.” Twilight said.
"Well… it appears everything is going to be A-ok.” I nodded. “But something still puzzles me.”
“Princess Celestia will fix my horn, don’t worry.” Twilight said.
“No, it’s not that.” I said. “It’s-“
“Yeah I’m still wondering the same thing. Why are you still wearing that Darth Flare outfit?” Crystal asked.
“Oh shush, this thing looks good on me! I’m gonna wear it for Nightmare Night!” I said. “Anyways, what puzzles me is… Discord kept saying something about a doctor.”
"Doctor Who?" Engie asked.
"No, not Doctor Who, but some sort of Doctor. Discord wasn't working alone. This doctor must have been the one that planned this, and that S logo I keep seeing looks so familar to me." I said. “I saw that same logo on the robotic Trixie the time she went into town, and Boorlie Pomodoro, he too had one, and not to mention Chrysalis back at the Nashorse race.” I said.
“Yeah I heard about this doctor as well.” Twilight nodded.
“Then I guess this all proves it. Somepony is out to get me! Somepony doesn’t want me to be happy, but who would want that?” I asked myself.
"Well, that's a mystery we'll have to solve another day, Flare. Whoever this doctor is, he must be out of reach by now." Twilight said.
“In that case, I must be ready for his next move. I must find out who this doctor is someday, and I know for a fact he’s not stopping now. He will be back. He will have a plan, and with the help of my friends, we’ll foil them all, but for now… we must rest.”
“Nope, for now we must go to an award ceremony!” Spike said with a scroll on his hand. “I just got a letter from the princess!”
“Celestia I assume?” I asked.
“No, it’s from Luna! You are to be rewarded for your actions.” Spike said.
“Well, since we’ve been referencing Star Wars throughout the entire day I guess it won’t hurt doing one more.” I said.
Meanwhile, at the castle throne room the Guards blow on their horns (playing the Throne Room song from Star Wars: Episode 4). A crowd of ponies were in the room, including the Mane Six, the Princesses (Celestia, Luna, and Cadance), the CMCs, Big Mac, Cheeerilee, Granny Smith, the Cakes, Lyra, Bon Bon, Derpy, Octavia, Vinyl Scratch, the Doctor, Keith, the Wonderbolts, even the Nashorse racers, and all the ponies from past chapters of this story. The doors to the throne room open. The Noble Six and Spike all walk towards the Princesses. Everypony smiles at them. The Noble Six walked up to the princesses and bowed to them. Celestia gives them all medals, but before she could give me my metal I cleared my throat and gave her a face. Then Celestia rolls her eyes and gives the metal to Luna, and Luna puts the medal on him. The Noble Six turn around, and in the background I find C-3PO and nod at him, and then I see R2-D2 shaking around making beeping notices in excitement. Everypony started cheering, then Spike roared, similar to Chewbacca's roar.
"Why didn't I get a metal?" Spike asked himself.
“I wonder the same thing.” Chewbacca whispers at him.
"Thanks to the bravery of these ponies, Equestria has been saved from any plots, and thanks to them, the Elements of Harmony are safe." Celestia said.
"If the Mane Six ever get themselves into trouble, the Noble Six will be the ones to be their backup!" Luna said. "Red Engineer with his heavy heart, Crystal Iceblast with her will to kick plot, Aquatic Armor with his hope, Psyche Illusion with his smarts, Blaze Goldheart with his loyality, and Flare Gun.... for spreading the lulz." Everypony cheered again.
"Ah can't believe this is happin to us!" Engie said excitedly.
"You better believe it, Engie!" Crystal nodded.
"We are heroes.” Aqua nodded.
"I never thought being a part of this clan would give me this much popularity." Psyche said.
"And if Equestria ever needs us, we'll be there!" Blaze said.
"Greetings, my little ponies! I've returned for my revenge!" a voice said.
"Who are you? Reveal yourself!" Luna shouted.
"It is I! Discord!" the voice yelled as a giant Discord head came out from beside the door. "And I am here to eat your faces! OM NOM NOM NOM!" Everypony started screaming and running around.
“Oh snap!” Crystal cried out.
Just then, I walked inside the room carrying a big stick with the Discord head on the other side. "You ponies are so gullible! THINK FAST!" I started throwing garlic rolls and they landed in the mouths of Psyche, Spike, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Blaze. "Told you I was gonna throw garlic rolls at ponies more often! Remember? Lawl remember everypony? Feel dat Mareami heat, brahs! HA HA!”
“Oh Flare.” Twilight shook her head and chuckled as her fresh newly grown horn sparkles.
“Well, Flare Gun, what are you going to do now?” Luna asked.
“Well first I have to respond to Keith’s last poke.” I said with my phone out.
“And then what?” Luna asked.
“Hmm…” I thought to myself. The next day came, it was just an ordinary day at my pizza shop. I was watching TV with Lyra and Bonnie.
“And now our feature presentation: Friendship is Epic - the old story!” the TV announcer said.
“Nope.” I said as I turned off the TV.
THE END! Thank you, readers! Thank you so much for reading Friendship is Epic – Book 1: My Big Flare! It really means a lot that you made it this far. I really hope you liked it, because this remake wasn’t easy. I had to put Book 3 on hiatus because of this, I hope to get a little enthusiasm and credit. Anyways, this story isn’t over yet! This was just the first season out six! This story was just getting to know the characters! It’s gonna get more interesting in the future! You’re gonna meet my sister Water Gun, we’re gonna have new characters, new stories, new foes, new lulz, polka, new locations including Mareami, and we’ll get to see who this mysterious doctor is! Thank you once again for reading, brahs! See you next time on Friendship is Epic – Book 2: Dat Mareami Heat!
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5119662 No need to be rude.
Hey, hold your index finger there, friend. Before you comment, I have a question for you. Do you still watch MLP? Why do you watch MLP? Why do you think MLP is created? And finally, how do you feel about people that hate MLP dis you just because you like it? I want you to ask yourselves that before you carrying on insults.
I don't make this story for the lulz. The lulz are just the quarter of it. No, I make this story to teach you what I know about friendship, and how the world should react if you hang out with people that are much different than you. For example: a jerk like Engie, a low intelligent being such as Crystal, a freak such as Blaze, a quiet and boring fellow such Aqua, a know-it-all wiseguy like Psyche, and finally someone that still needs help in discovering the true meaning of friendship, someone that would go beyond the call of duty just to make sure he gets the friends he deserves, such as Flare.
What if they were you? You judge the story by it's humor, but you don't see that you yourselves are the exact opposite of these guys, and you'll think you will never be accepted, no matter what. You're wrong, my friends. You can make a difference. I'll show you what I know about friendship, and you yourselves might become better people. Not better as in completely changing your approach, but better at accepting those who don't accept you. And you know what the best part is? I accept you! I don't delete your comments because I'm afraid of what you're gonna say to me, because trust me, I deal with it all the time, and I'm used to it. I delete your comments, to stop you from making fools of yourselves. I am here to help you, and that's my goal.
Humor is just backup, I am here to help. I am your friend, I am your bro, and if you took some time to actually read the story instead of just judging it by it's not-so-good humor, then you might be able to change your approach on things you don't like. I'm not saying you have to like the story, cause I don't care. Everyone gets criticism. You think you're as funny as Nostalgia Critic by just giving it a bunch negative results and swearing to the ONE person who writes it? The one person is trying to make a difference around here? I know you all like me as a person, no doubt, but just give it some thought. I guarantee you'll be successful. If you give such a huge negative review, who's the foolish one here? The fool who made this story that causes people not to like it, or the fools that just like to criticize so they can feel better themselves because making a successful fanfic is all their good at?
Your high ratings on your stories isn't everything. I'm pretty sure your fanfic is mainly negative influences or clop or death or violence or just cuteness with no story in it, or maybe just a ponified version of something already made, but hey, that's what the "bronies" around here want, right? They're obviously experts in stories. Hey, I got an idea! I'll make a story about shipping AppleJack and Fluttershy together, because they're lesbians, they sure do act that way on the show! Girls hug each other all the time and talk sweetly towards one another because they love each other! Aww, how cute?
Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm a brony of love and tolerance, something most people around this website forgot that existed! I'm just saying, is that all you're interested in? You have problems with OP OCs but you have no problems at all with Twilight Sparkle becoming a powerful alicorn? Is Derpy all you wanna see? You think after all AppleJack does for her friends you think she doesn't mind being called a background pony? (I know she's fictional, but just pretend).
People on this website create to make their imaginations come to life. If they wanna ship Fluttershy and their OC together, they can. If they wanna make Derpy smart, they can. If they wanna make a sensitive OP alicorn OC and let them become heroes of Equestria, who has the right to stop them? What did MLP teach you? This should be a love and tolerable community. No blaming or trolling or swearing because the author gave you a little something for an attempt of entertainment. Who asked you to even read this? Could be just as easy as just clicking backspace and move on to the next story. Maybe that'll help sooth your eyes, if that helps out at all.
Anyways, remember what your ol Mega Sean 45, founder and owner of Shroom Films, and creator of the Half-Life machinimas Scanner-Life and Combine Rampage, and the fanfic Friendship is Epic, and becomes instant friends with everyone he meets, has enlightened you with this information. If you wanna prove you're the better man than I, if you wanna prove that I am in no help to you, just don't bother commenting. Just hit backspace, and move on to the next story. Otherwise, I'm the bigger man here. No matter what you say, I will not stop this story, and I will not change it. The animated version of this story will come and become pretty famous, but there is nothing you can say that'll stop me. Anyways, that's all I gotta say, bro-hoof brahs! /)
BTW, if you're a Half-Life fan, I have a channel filled with machinimas, and unlike this story, these videos are successful. It's like the My Name is Earl to my Millers!
>This comment graveyard
new3.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/From+vomitting+she+is+one+ugly+bitch+_d5bdcf2e33eba72d48bc9a428b116130.png
Contradictory much?
name.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/objection.jpg
Your Honor! The witness has found a contradiction in the defendant's statement!
You really have to write a wall-of-text to justify your reason for deleting comments instead of accepting criticism?
>~400k words
>Less than 1000 story views
>107 dislikes
>17 dislikes
...Okay.
Here, I got an idea! I respect your decisions, I know it may not seem that way because I have a high amount of sensitivity, but I don't show it, instead I go all Doctor on this. I mainly talk to people how I think I'm being treated. Now all these insults are for my story, I know that, not me, you all love me as a person, well.... you don't know me so I wouldn't say that, more like.... umm.... a respectable author that wants to make a difference but needs to show it in a better way. But if MLP taught me something, it's to work as a team to get through the worse of situations! Other shows actually taught me that, but since we all watch MLP (or at least used to, I dunno about you brahs and sistas). So if my suggestion is clear enough, I say we can work as a team.
I know it seems a little odd to be asking this, but this can help. If I can't make my story better, maybe if I have a team, it will be at least decent enough for most on this website. Other websites love this, it's just here. But if you're all responding to my comments, that means you want me to be better, and so.... we shall have it! I always pay back favors, believe me. Post me a PM if you're interested!
Brahs, don't bother saying anything cause I'm not here. Read my blog post and it'll explain everything.
5154001
Yeah, I know replying is pointless, but I just want to point out your final little mistake...
i.imgur.com/R28hhAB.png
You didn't link the blog. You linked the thing that lets you make new blog posts in the first place. Whoopsie!
Here is the actual blog in question. You're welcome.
I just arrived on this story what the hell is going on? is it bad? Why so many comments not here? Whats going on?!?/!?
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6088424
You two have brighten my mood! Thank you so much! :D
I try my best. I'll give you that much.
For those of you that don't like my story, I bet you're smiling right now! Or are about to! Know why? Because if I get this much downvotes, it makes your stories seem better! Now you have the confidence to keep going! I know you mean no offense, but that's ok, because I believe in you, and I know you can believe in yourselves too! :D
Hey, I know for a fact that you can't say I'm not a good person and mean it!
6191328 I have a few concerns not with your stories, but with their cover arts. Might I suggest the Art For Fanfiction group? Don't get me wrong; you do put at least some effort into your covers, and I admire you for that. But sometimes, it's...not enough, to put it bluntly.
Just a suggestion on your behalf.
6571040 Well practice makes perfect, right? We all gotta start somewhere!
But then again, who'd in that group would want to help me with that? I actually got someone in my Creative Writing class that's offered to help me animate. Not so much of this version of the story, more like the final version of it, that's not even in the MLP universe anymore.
But thanks for the suggestion, and I'll at least check out that group. Maybe someone there can assist me in making the movie book cover. We'll see.
6571336 Alright, fair enough. ^^
Ya, know, the sheer amount of deleted comments is why I'm not even going to try and read it. There are better ways of changing your story than silencing criticism.
6946137 Yep, because I made the perfect solution! Take this story out of the MLP universe and just make its own universe! Know how I know that? I just made an MLP story that's good recently. I once made a story without mentioning the MLP universe using the characters I made on here without any MLP content, and they liked that too. So.... I found the solution! These new characters and MLP just doesn't go well together, and they're better separate.
6947602 I can't even tell what you're trying to say. I just know it had nothing to do with my first comment
stuff like this is why nuclear apocalypse's happen
6947602
Well, that's how 50 Shades of Grey made millions. It was originally a Twilight fanfic that fans hated, they changed the characters names, and BooM, bestsellers list?
...the frick frack snick snack is this?