Friendship is Epic - Part 1
Sup brahs? Some of you may know me, and some of you may not know me. My name is Crimson Flare Gun, and I have a brand new story for you, my friend! A little story about my life, but not just any story about my life, a story of how my life changed forever. How did my life change forever you may ask? You think it’s because of my new implants? Yeah, I got myself new implants for my home. I think one of them is an Arrowhead Vine. Anyways, enough on these silly plants. Here’s a story about drama, less then threes, cutaway gags, pizza, pony error, robots, pigs, polka, and most importantly: implants. This is the story of Flare Gun. Let’s begin with Book 1!
Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters that ruled together, and one of them decided to be a complete jerk and rule by herself, so she banished her sister to the moon, and is now taking all the glory. What kind of sister does that to her own sister? How would mom feel? Luna’s telling mom on you, Celestia. Ok, enough of that story, in fact, enough with the books in general. It seems a little too….. Disney, and Dreamworks. Anyways, I’m gonna skip the 20th Century Fox and Paramount Pictures themes, and just go straight to the ‘Shroom Films presents, a My Little Pony fanfic.
We start off our story from the entrance of Everfree Forest. A beam of light glowed, and a vortex opened. Out of the vortex came Princess Luna and another pony whom we don’t know who he is yet, but I believe it is pretty obvious.
"Woo! That was a fun ride, Luna! Is there anywhere I can find the snapshot of my face?" The pony with Luna asked.
"It wasn't a theme park ride, Flare Gun, it was a spell." Luna said.
"I know, but it wouldn't hurt to have a picture." Flare said and shrugged. "Oh well. Thanks for everything Luna!"
"Don't just thank me, thank Braeburn of Appleloosa. He notified me." She said.
"Oh... well then. I guess I do have some trusted friends after all. You can't imagine how happy I am now." The pony said excitedly.
"You'll do great, Flare! Ponyville will be your new home now. You will make lots of new friends, build your new business here, and you'll even..... spread your dolls!" Luna said.
"Yes! Wait, spread your dolls?" The pony asked.
"Don't you say that all the time? Spread your dolls?" She asked.
"It's spread the LULZ, not spread your dolls. I don't own dolls." The pony said.
"You sleep with teddy bears every night." She said.
"They're not dolls, they're action figures!" The pony yelled.
Luna giggled and said, "Of course, how silly of me! So I'll go get the ponies in town ready for you, and then head on in tomorrow morning."
“What if they don’t like me though? Nopony ever does.” The pony said.
“Give them a chance. I've seen what you’ve been through, and it may be tough at first, but I promise you that they can solve all your problems.” Luna promised.
“Well, I trust you, sista. Although, I trusted many. I put my trust in a pig, and look where I ended up. That piece of bacon will pay for this!” The pony said angrily.
“Revenge is not the best solution. Whatever happened in your past will stay back there. This is your chance to begin anew.” Luna said.
“You’re right. If you’re right I’m left, and if I’m left, and then I’ll be right after two lefts, or two rights, whichever goes best.” The pony said and then he yelled, “Praise the Wizards!”
SHROOM FILMS PRESENTS….
A MY LITTLE PONY FANFIC…..
CREATED BY MEGASEAN45……
FRIENDSHIP IS EPIC
STARING MEGASEAN45 AS FLARE GUN
BRONY WITH THE BOWTIE AS BLAZE GOLDHEART AND RED ENGINEER
ANNOMINOUS AS CRYSTAL ICEBLAST
TROY AS PSYCHE ILLUTION
THE 94TH NICKACHU AS AQUATIC ARMOR
MANE SIX, SPIKE, AND THE PRINCESSES AS THEMSELVES
BROUGHT TO YOU BY SHROOM FILMS!
(Happy face)
The next morning came, and Rainbow Dash, who was sleeping on a cloud,was talking in her sleep. “Hmm.” She moaned. “Yes, Spitfire, I’d love to be your sidekick. Want me to keep an eye on these cadets? Sure, I’d love to. Oh yummy, one of them has cheesecake.”
“RAINBOW DASH!” Pinkie yelled as she used her balloons to hover over to the cloud Rainbow was sleeping on.
“AAAAAAH!” Rainbow screamed. “Darn it, Pinkie! Stop doing that!”
“What’s wrong, Dashie? Were you scared?” Pinkie asked mischievously.
“No! You’re just annoy me when you do that; like a colt begging for attention from his mom after she had a hard day at work.” Rainbow said.
Our first cutaway gag of the series shows a mother pony lying in bed, and her son walks over to her and says, “Merry. Merry. Merry. Merry. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mommy. Mommy. Mama. Mama. Mama. Ma. Ma. Ma. Ma. Mum. Mum. Mum. Mum. Mummy. Mummy. Mama. Mama.”
“WHAT?!” the mom screamed from the top of her lungs (not literary, because that’s impossible).
“Inserts overused gag here.” The son teased and ran away giggling. The cutaway ends.
“So what do you want, Pinkie?” Rainbow asked with an attitude.
“You promised we’d go to the market together thooooooooough.” Pinkie whined.
”Yeah, I said we’d go at 3:00, and it’s….. 11 in the morning.” Rainbow said, checking the time by looking over at the clock tower across town.
“Okie dokie loki!” Pinkie said. “I’ll be back at 3:00!”
“Alright, good.” Rainbow said as she fell back asleep. Pinkie then used the balloons to hover over to the clock tower, and moves the little hand towards the 3, and then she flies back over to Rainbow and yells, “RAINBOW!”
“AAAAH!” Rainbow yelled. “Pinkie! I told you not to bother me until 3!”
“It is 3; see?” Pinkie pointed over to the clock.
“Really? I felt like I was asleep for not even a minute.” Rainbow said confusingly.
“Relax, Dashie. Ponies always feel that way every morning.” Pinkie said.
A cutaway shows a pony sleeping in his bed, and his clock radio goes off at 7. The pony wakes up, presses the snooze button, and goes back to sleep. Just then, the clock radio uses it’s antenna to change the time to 7:06, and it goes off again. “Aww c’mon!” the pony whined as he pressed the snooze button again and goes back to sleep. The clock radio, yet again, uses it’s antenna to change the time to 7:12, and it goes off again. The pony growls.
“Keep going, dude. I can do this all day.” The clock said.
“Uggh! Fine!” the pony groans as he gets out of bed to get ready for work.
The clock radio chuckles and says, “Works every time! Heh, time, nice pun!” The cutaway ends.
So Pinkie was hoping along the market place along side Rainbow who was flying low. “So what do we need to get Pinks?” Rainbow asked.
“I heard there’s this new frosting product in town, goes by the name of Betty Crocker.” Pinkie said.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Betty Crocker? I dunno if we can trust that last name.” Rainbow said.
“No, we’re not related in any way possible.” Mr. Crocker from Fairly Odd Parents in pony form said beside them, he then took out a butterfly net and yelled, “FAIRIES!” and ran off.
“Get Pillsbury frosting, sista, it tastes a lot better.” A red pony with a brown mane, blue eyes, a blue vet- I mean, vest; with two really dark grey shoes suggested.
“You’re right, Pillsbury does taste better, doesn’t it?” Pinkie asked.
“Yay! I was right!” the pony cheered. “It’s not too often ponies agree with me, except for the time I bought lunch for the school hoofball team and their gals, until I found out they’re only using me for my money.”
“School hoofball team, huh?” Rainbow asked. “You’re not from around here, are you?”
"What was your first clue?" the pony asked. “Anypony else around here have a mane style like mine? Nuh uh! I don’t think so!”
Pinkie giggled. “This pony is funny!” Pinkie then gasped and said, “Holy cow!”
“What?” A cow dressed like an angel asked.
“There’s a new pony in town and I didn’t know?!” Pinkie asked surprisingly.
“Well you do now, Pinks. What’s your name?” Rainbow asked.
"My name is Pinkie Pie, silly! You know that!" Pinkie corrected Rainbow.
"I was talking about this pony." Rainbow corrected her.
I started to sing, “What’s your name…. little girl? What’s your name?”
“We asked you first.” Pinkie smirked.
“Kay kay. My name is Flare Gun.” The pony said. Ok, to make things clear, this pony is me, so I’ll just say ‘I said’, instead of ‘the pony’ or ‘Flare’ said, since this is MY story, and I make this rules ‘round here, brah!
“Flare Gun, huh? Good to meet you. I’m Rainbow Dash!” Rainbow said.
“So I heard.” I said.
“You heard of us?” Rainbow asked.
“Have I heard of you? You and your friends were all over the news at the time of Nightmare Moon! I must say, you all did an awesome possum job rescuing Luna from that evil mastermind that’s taken control of her. Smiley face.” I said and smiled.
“Well, I must say, we did look awesome that day, huh?” Rainbow posed.
“That night was super duper fun! I got pretty necklace that night!” Pinkie said excitedly.
“You may say that took place at night, but after Nightmare Moon blocked the sun, I think that was daytime.” I corrected them.
“Well, whatever. So you heard of us before, huh?” Rainbow asked standing pretty close to me. “Has anypony said I’m the greatest flyer in all of Equestria?”
“No, but I heard you’re the greatest in getting into pony’s personal space. LAWL!” I teased.
“Lawl?” Rainbow asked.
“Lawl, L-O-L, laugh-out-loud, have you ever heard of it?” I asked.
“Yes, I do, but…. I never heard ponies actually say them before.” Rainbow chuckled nervously and said.
“LAWL!” Pinkie yelled in Rainbow’s ear.
“Now we’re getting it! Luna was right; I think I’m liking this so far! This is much more better than where I’m from, believe me on that, sista.” I said.
“More better? That’s not correct English.” The angel cow corrected me.
“Your gag is over now, you can leave.” I said to the cow.
“Mookay, mookay, sheesh.” The cow said feeling insulted and walking away.
“You know, I have a pet fish named Rainbow.” I said to Rainbow Dash.
“Cool! So where are you from anyway?” Rainbow asked.
“Mareami.” I said.
“Wow, that’s pretty far.” Rainbow said.
“Says the ‘greatest flyer in all of Equestria’.” I chuckled and said.
“Hey! I was told by Princess Celestia herself that I’m the greatest!” Rainbow said with an attitude.
“I’d like to see you prove it.” I said mischievously.
“Ok, you asked for it.” She said. So Rainbow flew up into the air, did a couple of tricks and spins, messed with the clouds, and came back with a rainbow above her head. "How do you like that?”
But I wasn't paying much attention, I was on his phone talking to my mom. "Yeah, mom, I'm here now. Yeah. Yeah. Ok, ok, ok, I gotta go... I gotta.... I gotta go.... yes.... yes.... yes mom, I love you too. Thank you. I'm fine. Thank you. Alright, chow. Ok.... I'm busy now. I just made some new friends. Ok... THANK YOU, MOM! I love you too. Bye bye." I hung up and turned to Rainbow. "Moms, sheesh!" I chuckled, rolling my eyes. "They never stop talking. I had to let her know I made it here safely. Anyways, I'm sorry, can you do those tricks again?"
Rainbow's jaw dropped. "You are kidding me."
"I am not kidding you." he said with a serious look. “Serious face. See? I said serious face, now you know I’m being super serious right now. Like seriously actually.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Fine." she said. So she flew up into the air to do those tricks again, and once she was done, she flew back. "Did you watch that time?"
"Oh no, I'm sorry, I got a text message from Boston Market, saying they're having a free cookie sale, I had to check it out. I guess I left Mareami at the wrong time." I said as I placed my phone back in my vest pocket. "I apologize deeply, can you do it just.... ONE MORE TIME!"
"UGGGGH!" Rainbow groaned. "Fine! One more time! You better be a fun pony when you finally settle in."
"I said I'm sorry. Look, if you don't wanna do it, then don't, I won't force ya." I said.
"No, no, I'll do it. Just watch this time." Rainbow said.
"I promise I'll watch this time." I said. So Rainbow did the same tricks again, and then came back down, feeling really tired. "How.... you like.... that? Did you watch?"
"Yes I watched, I just didn't find it interesting. Sorry." I said.
"WHAT?! Ha-how did you not find it interesting?" Rainbow asked.
"I seen those tricks before. I see the Wonderbolts perform at every Nashorse race." I said.
"Wait, you know the Wonderbolts?" Rainbow asked.
"Of course! I met Spitfire in person. It's pretty ironic that she doesn't actually spit fire. I got an autograph of her if you want to see it later." the pony said.
"Ok, sure! Sounds awesome!" Rainbow said, nodding.
“Hey, where did that pink inflated mane pony go?” I asked.
Rainbow looked around. “I have no idea.”
“She just bought some of our Pillbury frosting and ran off.” The frosting merchant said.
“Kay. Hey, I heard you have some TV dinners; can I have some?” I asked the merchant.
“Sure.” The merchant said giving me a box.
I took the box and said excitedly, “Oh cool, I got a chicken TV dinner!”
“I dunno why you’d want a crummy ol TV dinner.” Rainbow said. “The food inside doesn’t ever look as good as it looks on the box.”
“I know, but I wanna have it anyway!” I said as I opened the box, then a giant TV popped out and fell on me. “Well this is a complete rip-off.” I said as I was squished under the TV. “There’s no chicken here!”
“Yes there is.” The merchant said as she turned on the TV, revealing Foghorn Leghorn.
“Hey what, I say, what is up with those cakes, man! I can’t, I say, I can’t eat cake! Cake is made out of my children!” Foghorn Leghorn said from the TV, and I laughed from under the TV.
“Howdy, Rainbow!” AppleJack said as she walked over and greeted Rainbow.
“Oh, hey AppleJack! What’s going on?” Rainbow asked.
“Nothin’ much, just needing some frosting for that Apple Fruit Cake that Granny Smith is makin’.” AppleJack said. “Hey, nice TV!”
“Thanks! A pony is under there.” Rainbow said.
“What in tarnation do ya mean?” AppleJack asked. Just then, I used one of my spells to rip a hole from the TV and I walked out and dusted myself off.
“Well that was certainly entertaining, and Entertainment Tonight wasn’t even on” I said.
“Didn’t that hurt?” Rainbow asked.
“It did, very much, almost as bad as Kermit the Frog sharing a bed with Miss Piggy.” I said.
A cutaway shows Miss Piggy laying in bed, snoring really loud. Her alarm clock goes off, and she yawned and snorted. “Ah, what a glorious day! Kermmy, can I have a pop tart in bed?!” she yelled out. “Kermmy?!” There was no response. Miss Piggy sighed, “That bullfrog better not have gotten to work early!” Miss Piggy removes her covers and climbs out of bed, revealing Kermit the Frog, all squished in between the sheets.
Kermit gasps for breath and says, “I hate it when that pig rolls over to my side.” The cutaway ends.
“So if that hurt, why didn’t ya scream in pain?” AppleJack asked.
“I have sooooo much on my mind, so much that pain is actually a walk in the park for me.” I said.
“Hey what kind of spell is that?” AppleJack asked, pointing to a glowing stick on my horn that’s actually the spell I’m still casting, but forgot to turn off. “Ah never seen Twilight use a spell like that.”
“Oh that? That’s just my hornsaber spell. My mom forced me to read a book on defensive magic spells, and I hate reading, but the results were quite great. I learned very difficult spells; took me a long time to master them.” I explained.
“Is that deadly?” Rainbow asked about to touch it.
“Don’t touch it!” I yelled. Rainbow moved her hoof back quickly. “Nah, I’m kidding, this spell is actually mostly effective on anything wood, plastic, or anywhere below that. For ponies: It’s more like a baseball bat.” I said.
“Interestin’, what’s yer name, sugarcube?” AppleJack asked.
“Sugarcube is a type of sugar that’s molted into a cube, and sugar is sweet, so you’re calling me sweet, I’m assuming.” I explained.
“Uhh, yeah.” AppleJack said.
“LAWL! I made you confused!” I teased.
“Umm…. Heh, alright.” AppleJack chuckled. “Hey, since yer new ‘round here, how about ah’ll give ya a little taste of some of Granny Smith’s best dishes?”
“Why that sounds lovely! Glass or plastic dishes?” I asked.
“What?” AppleJack asked.
“Aren’t you feeding me dishes?” I asked.
“Oh, not those dishes, silly! Ah got apple pies, apple tarts, apple fritters, apple cobblers, ah sorts of sweet apple stuff!” AppleJack explained.
“I take that you’re offering me apple products?” I asked.
“Uhh, what was yer first clue?” AppleJack asked sarcasticly.
“You said you got apple pies, apple tarts, apple fritters, apple cobblers, and all sorts of apple stuff, and I never heard of a food product called ‘all sorts of apple stuff’, but if it sounds delicious, I’ll take it.” I explained.
“Uhh…. Alrighty then.” AppleJack said and smiled confusingly. “Oh, and mah name is AppleJack by the way.”
“Oooooh, like the cereal right?” I asked.
“Wow, y’all have no idea how many times ah heard that joke.” AppleJack said annoyingly.
“Well, you’d expect that a lot from somepony named after cereal. LAWL!” I teased.
“Look, I’ll leave you two to your little chat. I have to go check on a rain cloud that mysteriously appeared over Spike.” Rainbow said.
“YOU PLACED IT HERE!” Spike yelled with a rain cloud over him.
“Yeah, yeah, if that’s your opinion.” Rainbow teased.
“Oh cool, a dinosaur!” I said excitedly, running towards Spike.
“A what?” Spike asked.
“You are obviously a dinosaur, are you not?” I asked.
“No, no, no, you must’ve gotten me mistaken. I’m Spike, and I’m a dragon.” Spike corrected me.
“I thought dragons were myths?” I asked.
“Who told you that?” Spike asked.
“The Equestria Inquirer.” I said, holding up a magazine showing a dragon with a pony wearing a bride outfit.
“I married a myth?” Spike asked, reading the magazine.
“Yeah, and the Fake Science Monthly.” I showed him another magazine.
“Dragons and humans are not real?” Spike read the other magazine.
“Yeah, and I got so many other magazines, I can go on.” I said.
“Nah, I’m good, thanks.” Spike said. “And Rainbow, will you please be so kind as to GETTING THIS RAINCLOUD AWAY FROM ME?!”
“Oh…. Yeah, sorry, Spike.” Rainbow chuckled nervously and pushed it away. “Ok, well, it looks like I have to get back to work now.”
“Work? But the clouds are already cleared.” AppleJack said.
“Yeah, I have to get back on working for a spectacular show for a kid’s birthday party this afternoon, so I’ll catch you all later!” Rainbow said and flew off.
“So, cereal? Care to take me to your place so I can try your pie?” I asked.
“That…. Didn’t sound right.” Spike said.
“HA! Nice one, brah! I think you and I are gonna get along just fine!” I said to Spike.
“If you say so, dude.” Spike shrugged. “As long as you’re sharing that pie, AppleJack.”
“If ya want some.” AppleJack said.
“Alright, and off we go to Apple Cereal….. Cinnamon…. Jamaica!” I yelled. AppleJack rolled her eyes and Spike and I followed her over to Sweet Apple Acres.
AppleJack placed us on a picnic table in her orchard and said, “Alright, y’all make yourselves cozy while ah go get the pie from the kitchen.” So she walked off and did so. I was alone with Spike.
“So, Spike, how did a dragon like yourself end up with a group of ponies?” I asked.
“Actually, I was adopted by a unicorn by the name of Twilight Sparkle. Over at Celestia’s school, Twilight used her magic to hatch me, and then after Twilight became Celestia’s personal student, and I was Twilight’s assistant ever since.” Spike explained.
“And you’re just an assistant?” I asked.
“I’m also Twilight’s friend, of course.” Spike said.
“Ah, so you’re not treated like just a servant, right?” I asked.
“Of course not; I mean, Twilight does make me do all the chores, and all her deliveries….. and I help her find books.” Spike explained.
“Do you carry her stuff during all of your adventures?” I asked.
“No, that’s Rarity you’re talking about.” Spike said as he started to doze off. “The most beautiful mare in all of Equestria.”
“So she’s the mayor of Ponyville?” I asked.
“Yeah…” Spike said, still dozing off, but when he came to his senses, he shook his head really fast and said, “Wait, what?”
“You said she’s the most beautiful mayor in all of Equestria. Is she the mayor of Ponyville?” I asked.
“No, Mayor Mare is the mayor of Ponyville.” Spike corrected me. “By ‘mare’, I meant ‘lady’, know what I’m saying?”
“Of course I do, I was just making a joke.” I said as I laughed in a way a dog pants.
“Wow, creepy laugh.” Spike said.
“Thanks, brah! You have a creepy smile.” I said.
“No I don’t.” Spike said, smiling creepy.
“LAWL, whatever you say, brah. Whatever you say.” I said. “So about those adventures with Twilight.”
“I go on plenty.” Spike said.
“On enough?” I asked.
“Well, she didn’t take me to Cloudsdale with her to see Rainbow Dash compete in the Best Young Flyer competition.” Spike started. “And I wasn’t invited to Gummy’s birthday party; and I wasn’t invited to save AppleJack when she said she wasn’t coming back to Ponyville; come to think of it, I wasn’t even invited to Canterlot for Twilight’s birthday.”
“Wow, what kind of friend is Twilight?” I asked angrily.
“Now, now, Twilight is awesome friend.” Spike said.
“Is she, brah? Is she?” I asked.
“I guess I haven’t really thought of it like that.” Spike said.
“Exactly! You know what? You should go over to Twilight’s right now, and tell her who’s boss! What kind of friend is she for not inviting you to even her birthday party?” I suggested.
“You’re right, Flare! Thanks for your help! I didn’t know I could be so blind! See you around, man.” Spike said as he angrily marched away.
“Let’s hang sometime!” I yelled out.
“Alright, you two, here’s that pie ah wanted to give ya.” AppleJack said, coming back with some pie, and her brother.
“Thanks, cereal! Looks delicious!” I said.
“Where did Spike go?” AppleJack asked.
“He needed some time with his ‘friend’ Twilight.” I said.
“Oh…. Alrighty then.” AppleJack said, offering me a slice of pie.
“Hey, who’s your friend?” I asked, pointing to Big McIntosh.
“Oh this is Big McIntosh, my brother!” AppleJack said.
”Eeeyup!” Big Mac said.
“He’s red like me.” I said.
“Well then…. What do ya know?” AppleJack said, looking at us both.
“So, Big Ma- umm…. Brah, how long have you known AppleJack for?” I asked.
“Uhh, his whole life.” AppleJack said.
“Hey, big mouth, let your brother speak.” I said.
“Big mouth?” AppleJack asked curiously.
“I’m just saying, let your brother talk, you don’t need to answer his questions for him.” I said.
“Big Mac’s not much of a talker.” AppleJack said as Big Mac nodded.
“Big Mac’s his nickname, huh? Does he come with a side of fries?” I teased.
“Wow, ya really had to make that joke, huh?” AppleJack asked annoyingly.
“What? That an old joke?” I asked.
“Big time.” AppleJack said.
“Sorry, cowmare, I’m still trying to get how things work around here.” I said. Just then, out of nowhere, AppleJack’s dog Winona pops up out of nowhere and barks happily at me. I screamed and jumped out of my seat and held onto a tree bark.
“Uhh, y’all alright, sugarcube?” AppleJack asked.
“I don’t like dogs, they scare me.” I said.
“Winona’s just sayin’ hi, she don’t bite.” AppleJack said.
“I’m sorry, I don’t trust dogs.” I said. I started spraying water out of my horn, and soaked Winona until she ran away. I jumped back down and sat back on the picnic bench. “SORRY!” I yelled at Winona. Winona shook herself up until she was dried, but ended up as a big fur ball. “I’m really sorry about that, AJ. I’m really not a big fan of dogs, and I really didn’t want it to come to that.”
“Umm… maybe ah should take ya over to mah friend Rarity’s.” AppleJack suggested.
“What? But I thought we were bonding well?” I asked.
“Ah know, we are, it’s just…. Umm… ah have to get back to…. Work.” AppleJack said.
“Well, you are the Element of Loyality after all, so I guess I’ll believe you.” I said.
“Ah’m the Element of Honesty.” AppleJack corrected me.
“Meh, Element of Honesty, Loyalty, Rhinos, it’s all the same to me. Friendship is friendship, and that’s how I picture it.” I said.
AppleJack faked a smile and said, “Ah’ll take ya over to Rarity’s. She’ll love your trends!” AppleJack said as she took my pie.
“HEY!” I whined. “You didn’t give me a chance to eat the dish yet!”
“Look, ah’ll give ya more later, but for now, let me take ya to Rarity’s.” AppleJack suggested, taking my hoof, and attempted to get me to hurry it up and follow her.
“Oh, umm, kay kay. G-2-G, Big Mac served with a delicious coke! Nice meeting ya!” I waved at him. Big Mac facehoofed himself as AppleJack was taking me over to Carousel Boutique, but before we left, Big Mac saw apples getting munched on in the trees.
“Umm, AJ?” Big Mac called out.
“What?” AppleJack asked. Big Mac pointed to the trees, and there were a swarm of parasprites eating the apples. “Oh no, parasprites!”
“What? Like the soda?” I asked.
“That’s Sprite!” AppleJack corrected me.
“No, that’s a Pair-of-Sprites. LAWL!” I teased.
“Flare, yer not helpin’ right now.” AppleJack said annoyingly.
“Sigh.” I said, and I actually said the word ‘sigh’. “Look you’re obviously aren’t going to get them away using pitchforks or shotguns.”
“We don’t have any shotguns.” AppleJack said.
“Well, ol Flare Gun’s got a flare gun. Watch and learn, sista! Watch and learn.” I said as I started shooting flares out of my horn and towards the parasprites.
“Flare, ya keep missin’ them!” AppleJack yelled.
“I’m not trying to aim for them.” I corrected her. The parasprites looked at all the flares being shot from my horn, and the parasprites started following them up into the sky, and off the apple orchard. “Now the parasprites are paragonners! LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL LAWL!” I yelled.
“Umm…. Thanks?” AppleJack said confusingly.
“No problemo, sista! That’s what friends are for.” I said.
“Riiiight.” AppleJack said.
“So you still busy, or can we hang out some more and have some more of your delicious pie?” I asked.
“Spike’s right, that doesn’t sound right.” AppleJack whispered to Big Mac.
'Eeyup!" Big Mac whispered back.
So AppleJack and I went over to Carousel Boutique, and Rarity was using her magic to place some of her gems on a new dress she was making. She hears her door ringing and she walks over to her front desk to greet us. She says, “Hello, and welcome to Carousel Boutique! How may I he-“
AppleJack cuts Rarity off and says, “Hey, Rarity! Ah’m just leavin’ ya with ol Flare Gun here; he’s new in town, and wants somepony to hang with, so ah’m leavin’ him with with you.”
Rarity smiles and says, “Oh that seems divine, but I am pretty bus-“
“Flare can help ya out. Flare this is Rarity; Rarity, Flare, we’re all acquainted, alright.” AppleJack said quickly.
“Wait, what is your name?” I asked AppleJack.
“Its Cereal, now ah gotta go, bye!” AppleJack said as she ran off.
“She’s very nice.” I said to Rarity.
“Well, some ponies do have standards. It was awfully rude of her to leave you with me like that.” Rarity said.
“It’s fine; I know when a pony is in a hurry to get back to work. She didn’t want me to be in the way, and I understand completely, like the time I was working with that group project.” I said.
A cutaway shows a bunch of ponies working on a group project on making a life-size Optimus Prime. “This is it, boys! This life-size Optimus Prime is going to have us win the Science Fair for sure!” one of the ponies said.
“Cool! When can I help?” I asked.
“Just keep sitting there in the corner doing nothing.” The pony said.
“But I promise I won’t break it.” I said.
“Yeah, say that to all of our past science fair projects.” The pony said pointing to all the broken electronics, like an R2-D2, a blender with a microwave, and a robot of Mr. Krabs. The cutaway ends.
“Now then, since AppleJack decided to abandon you here-“ Rarity started.
“Oh she didn’t abandon me, she said she was busy.” I said.
“I like your enthusiasm, darling. Well, regardless, I really like those threads you got on.” Rarity said, checking out my clothes.
“Hey, my eyes are up here.” I said, as I was pointing to my face.
“Well, since you’re here in my shop, feel free to look around.” Rarity offered.
“Thanks, sista! I really like these dresses. They’re more modern and classical.” I said.
“That’s how I normally like to make my dresses, dear.” Rarity said as she used a sewing machine on a dress she’s making for another client.
“What’s that dress for?” I asked, pointing to the one she’s making.
“This dress is for a very important client.” Rarity said.
“Aren’t all clients supposed to be important?” I asked.
“Well, yes, but a client that’s putting these dresses on display.” Rarity said.
“Display for what?” I asked. “This dress looks like you got from a dumpster.
Rarity was shocked. “This is a fine piece of cloth, darling! This dress is going to be the finest of the century!”
“Finest of the century for a dog show maybe.” I teased.
“What?!” Rarity gasped.
“Ok, mind I ask first, where is this dress going?” I asked.
“It’s going to a fashion show in the Mareami Convention Center, why?” Rarity asked.
“Ok, there we go! I’m a pro on the Mareami stuff, that’s where I’m from, and I know what the Mareami ponies like. Allow me to suggest little alligators on the dress, because Mareami is fairly close to the Gatorglades Swamps, and lots of alligators live there; or for the astronomy types: stars, or moons, or rockets. Since the Lunar Space Center is located east of Mareami, over at Cape Canvill, one of the districts of Mareami, that’s where the shuttles are in for launching to space; or better yet, some suns, or palm trees, or flowers for those beach dudes and dudettes, ones that like surfin’ in the EQA.” I explained.
Rarity was silent for a minute, and then she said, “Wow, that’s a…. that’s a lot.”
“I have a whole list of types of ponies in Mareami, I can go on.” I said.
“No, no, that’s quite alright, dear.” Rarity said, returning to work.
“So are you gonna take my idea?” I asked.
“I’ll put it into my plan.” Rarity said.
“You say that, but are you actually going to think about it?” I asked.
“Yes, dear, I am.” Rarity said, starting to get annoyed.
“Because a lot of ponies say they do, but they don’t actually. That’s where the liars come in.” I said.
“Flare, I’m very, very busy right now.” Rarity said.
“So why don’t you take me to somepony that will have time for me?” I asked.
“Ugh!” Rarity groaned. “Ok, here’s the address for my friend Fluttershy’s house. Maybe she’ll help you.” She said, giving me a little piece of paper showing Fluttershy’s address.
“Fluttershy! The Element of Generosity.” I said.
“She’s kindness, I’m generosity.” Rarity corrected me.
“Oh…. Because you seem like Element of Laughter to me.” I said.
“Uh huh.” Rarity said in a annoyed tone.
“Kay kay, I’m going to go see the kind ol Fluttershy, the one who cut off her tail extensions for a cockatrice’s beard.” I said. Rarity stopped what she was doing and gave me a confused look. “No need to give me that look, sista, it was all over the news, that’s how I know, and that’s why I’m here. Well, I’m gonna go see Flutters now. Thanks for everything, Rare! I really appreciate it.”
“Your welcome, dear! Come back anytime!” Rarity said with a fake smile on her face, and once I ran off, she grunted and said, “Thought he’d never leave.”
So I walked on over to Fluttershy’s cottage, and she was outside feeding the birds. "There you go little friends!" she said to them. Her bunny Angel glares over at Fluttershy, wanting something to eat. "Oh, okay Angel. You want the usual?" Angel shows Fluttershy a picture of carrot cake inside a food book. "Oh, um, I'm sorry Angel, but I don't have the ingredients." Fluttershy smiles embarrassed at Angel making a squee sound, and then Angel flops back on the floor looking like he's dead. "Oh no, Angel! Don't do that! You know that scares me." Angel got back up and showed the picture of the carrot cake again. "Oh, okay, fine."
“Every time you call my name, I heat up like a burnin' flame”. I sang as I got close to Fluttershy’s house. Fluttershy looks over and sees me walking towards her front yard.
“Looks I’m getting myself a new visitor.” Fluttershy smiled and said.
“Abra-abra-cadabra, I want to reach out and grab ya! Abra-abra cadabra. Abracadabra.” I sang as I violently grabbed the air when I said ‘grab ya’, and when I said ‘Abracadabra’, I shot a flare in the air with my horn.
Fluttershy got a little frightened by my entrance, so she ran into her cottage, shut the door and locked it, and closed all her blinds, but one of her blinds got crooked, and she struggled to close them. You know, those up and down blinds, you know how they are. That’s why in my old house I had one of those blinds that opens side to side, not up and down so it can get stuck or crooked. Anyways, I walked on over to her front door and knocked on it the same way Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theroy does it. Knock, knock, knock; “Flutters?” Knock, knock, knock; “Flutters?” Knock, knock, knock; “Flutters?”
“Eep!” Flutters ‘eeped’ as she peeked through the blinds.
“My name is Flare Gun, I’m new here, and I was told by your friend Rarity that I should come and see you.” I said, but nopony answered. “I’m in need of some new friends, and you were recommended.” Fluttershy was still shivering in fright inside of her cottage. “I know you’re home, I saw you. You’re an animal lover, huh? I like animals too, except dogs, that’s why I was scared of AppleJack’s dog. Look you don’t have to come out, we can talk with the door between us. With your name ‘Fluttershy’, I’m pretty sure the ‘shy’ in there means you like to go to the bathroom a lot. LAWL!” I teased. Fluttershy still didn't respond, but I continued talking. “So have you played any video games? Something like Borderlands? I really love the Claptraps in there; they like to dance a lot, pelvet thrust, and- oh listen to me, I’m talking to a door. Well, door, it was nice talking to you, but…. It looks like your owner Fluttershy seems to be busy right now. At least I could’ve had a beep so I can leave a voice message.”
I think I made my point, so I walked out of Fluttershy’s property and said to myself, “Sad face, I wanted to make a new friend. Oh well, I got so much to do anyway. It’s about time I go build my business. If I’m going to be living here, I have to make sure I can afford it.”
After some time went by, I returned to my trailer after a day of making friends. The trailer is currently located in front of Golden Oak Library, because I thought that spot was a pretty shady spot, as long as no birds from the tree go doo-doo all over it. My trailer has a high-security system on it. Once I walked to it, I punched in the code to unlock the door, scanned my hoof, scanned my eye, and then said the password; “Praise the Wizards of Hope, Strength, and Feelings.” I said as I beat my chest with my hoof twice, and kissed my hoof, and blew it into the air. The door unlocks, I open it, and I walk inside.
Meanwhile, Rarity, AppleJack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash walk on over to Twilight’s house for a visit. Rainbow Dash takes a look at my trailer, but she doesn't know it’s mine. “Hey, nice set of wheels there!” She said.
“Twilight must be workin’ on a new experiment.” AppleJack assumed.
“Looks like a pretty lovely trailer. Looks a little bland right now though. Could use a make-over.” Rarity said. The four of them walked over to Twilight’s door and knocked on it.
“Spike, can you get that?!” Twilight yelled from the inside.
“Why? Too lazy to do it yourself, and you let your slave do it?” Spike asked angrily.
“Spike, what has gotten into you?!” Twilight asked. The ponies outside her house can hear all that’s going on, and they just look at eachother in confusion.
“You haven’t invited me to your birthday party!” Spike yelled.
“You said you had other plans!” Twilight corrected him.
“You didn’t say you were going to Canterlot for your birthday!” Spike yelled as he opened the door. He smiled at the others and said, “Hey, ladies!”
“Wh-what was that all about?” Fluttershy asked.
“Were you two fighting? Who was winning?” Rainbow asked excitedly.
“We weren’t fighting; it was just a little disagreement. Plus, Pinkie is putting up decorations to host a party for the new pony.” Spike said, pointing to Pinkie who was setting up decorations inside, and putting up a banner that says, ‘Welcome to Ponyville’.
“I still haven’t gotten a chance to welcome the new pony with a song. Maybe I’ll do it during this party!” Pinkie said excitedly.
“Yeah, well, that’s what we need to talk to Twilight about.” AppleJack said.
“What about him? He’s super duper fun, and super duper funny!” Pinkie said.
“He isn’t that funny.” Rainbow said.
“Where’s Twilight?” AppleJack asked.
“Right here, AppleJack. What’s up?” Twilight asked.
“We need to talk to ya about the new pony.” AppleJack said.
“What about him?” Twilight asked.
AppleJack thought of what to say. “Well…. About him, ya see, he’s just a wee-bit-“
“He’s completely annoying!” Rainbow said, cutting off AppleJack.
“Now, Rainbow Dash, we got specific instructions from Princess Luna to make sure this new pony feels welcomed in Ponyville. She said it’s in the absolute importance that he feels like he fits in.” Twilight explained.
“Well, if you don’t mind me saying, he seems a little….. violent.” Fluttershy said.
“Violent?” Twilight asked.
“Yeah, he sprayed water all over Winona!” AppleJack said.
“Did he say why?” Twilight asked.
“He said he’s afraid of dogs. Ah could’ve just told Winona to go back inside the barn, but he just soaked her!” AppleJack explained.
“Not to mention, he kept talking and talking and talking when I was in the middle of work.” Rarity complained.
“He also told me that you’re not treating me like a friend, more like a servant.” Spike said.
“Spike, you know that’s not true.” Twilight said.
“He doesn’t seem like a very nice pony. I dunno why Luna wanted us to welcome him here.” Rainbow said.
“Oh, I didn’t mind when he was talking to me through the door. He just looked a little violent, so that’s why I hid.” Fluttershy said.
“I didn’t see anything wrong with him. He just made me LAWL!” Pinkie said as she hopped in place.
“Don’t say that, Pinkie.” AppleJack suggested.
“That Pinkie!” Pinkie teased.
“Great, now Pinkie’s acting like Flare.” Rainbow complained and facehoofed.
“Ok, girls, maybe we’re giving him the wrong impression. Maybe if we got to know him a little more, he may seem like a nice pony to hang with. Luna asked us to make him feel welcomed, and that’s what we’re going to do.” Twilight said.
“I dunno, Twilight.” Fluttershy said frightened.
“Just give him a chance.” Twilight asked.
“Well…. Alright. Maybe he was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.” AppleJack suggested.
“I don’t like this idea.” Rainbow said.
“Well, too bad. We wouldn’t be who we are if we didn’t help a pony feel welcomed around here.” Twilight said.
“Twilight’s right; if Princess Luna says a pony needs to feel welcomed, then this pony may be an important pony.” Rarity thought.
“If he’s an important pony, I bet he’d have gems!” Spike said excitedly.
“But what about the party?” Pinkie asked.
“We’ll get back to the party later, Pinkie. For now, we have a pony to welcome.” AppleJack said. So the Mane Six walked outside, but then Fluttershy stopped right in front of them, and they all crashed into eachother.
“Wait a second.” Fluttershy said. “We don’t even know where he lives.” Just then, a bunch of robots stormed out of my trailer, wearing construction outfits.
I followed the robots out of the trailer and yelled, “Alright, brahs, get to work on the new business! I didn’t spend 4 years of culinary class in the University of Mareami for no reason. Time to start a new era!”
“Hi! You must be Flare Gun.” Twilight said.
“I could be, maybe I’m not. It actually depends on who’s talking.” I said.
“My name is Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight said.
“Oh…. It’s you.” I said in an upsetting tone.
“Umm, you alright?” Twilight asked.
“I dunno, sista. For somepony who abuses a baby dragon, you got a lot of nerve in saying if I’m alright.” I said.
“Look, you probably got a misunderstanding. I do not abuse Spike. He’s a good friend, and there are times where we get the wrong impressions, but I’m telling you, Spike is one of my best friends, and there’s nothing that’ll keep me away from him.” Twilight said.
“Yeah, like I heard that before.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. “You dunno who you can trust these days. We’ve all seen Julius Caesar.”
A cutaway shows Brutus (in pony form) watching as Julius Caesar waves to the Roman crowd as Cassius (also in pony form) walks over to him and says, “You should kill him.”
“I shouldn’t. He’s my best friend.” Brutus said.
“You want him to be better than you? You want him to take over as king?” Cassius asked.
“No.” Brutus said.
“Then the only way to do that is for us to team up, and out of our own stubbornness, we kill Julius Caesar just so he isn’t better than us.” Cassius said.
“Ok, I’d stab my friend in the back just so he wouldn’t be superior.” Brutus said.
Down below, just before Caesar walks inside the senate, a mysterious hooded pony walks over to him and says, “Beware the Ides of March.”
“I’m sorry; I didn’t hear what you said. Can you repeat that, even though I could care less what it means?” Julius asked.
“Beware the Ides of March.” The hooded pony said.
Just then a couple of eyeballs marched over to Julius Caesar and said, “Boooo, I’m the Eyes of March! Beware! Beeeeewaaaaaaaare!”
“No, you idiot; I said the IDES of March, not the EYES of March!” the hooded pony corrected the eyeballs.
“Ooooooh, the Ides of March! What does that mean?” the eyeballs asked.
“It means March 15th.” The hooded pony said.
“Oh. Ok, I’ll come back at March 15th. Beware of me, Julius Caesar!” The eyeballs yelled in Julius’s face and ran off.
“Somepony should kill me already.” Julius said as he facehoofed himself. The cutaway ends.
“So where are you going, Flare?” Pinkie asked.
“I’m going to help my robots construct my new business!” I said.
“Cool! What business is that?” Rainbow asked.
“It’s a surprise!” I said.
“Ooooo, I like surprises!” Pinkie said excitedly.
“But if you want, you can help me out.” I suggested.
“That sounds like a good idea.” Fluttershy said.
“Yeah, I’m down on that.” Rainbow said.
“As long as I don’t get my mane dirty.” Rarity said.
“You have any gems?” Spike asked.
“Actually, brah, I do. If you help me, and do the same amount of work as everypony else, without anypony else being superior than you, then I’ll give them to you.” I offered.
“Aww sweet!” Spike said excitedly. “You're my new bro!”
“Happy face! That’s all I’ve ever really wanted!” I said excitedly. “Well, I’ve always wanted it from a pony, but a dinosaur is the next best thing.”
“Dragon.” Spike corrected me.
“Whatever. Just to let you know, out of this entire construction process, I’m the boss. Boss boss boss boss boss boss boss!” I demanded.
“Sounds good to me!” Twilight said.
“Uhh, ah’d think twice about sayin’ that.” AppleJack whispered to Twilight.
“Relax, AppleJack. I know exactly what to do.” Twilight whispered back.
“Oh, and since we’re all friends, I have a little something for each of you.” I said.
“Ooo, ooo! Is it a present?” Pinkie asked.
“Well, something like that.” I said as I reached inside my satchel.
“What is it then?” Fluttershy asked. I gave each of them pieces of paper, and pens.
“What in tarnation is this?” AppleJack asked.
“It’s called the Friendship Agreement. I just made this not too long ago. Since it’s hard for me to trust ponies these days, I’m going to make sure my friends remain friends.” I explained.
“Of course we’d remain friends silly! We’re the Elements of Harmony! We’d stay together no matter what!” Pinkie said.
“He means us with him, Pinkie.” Twilight corrected her.
“Exactly! Now that we’re going to be such good friends, all of us, and I: Flare Gun, will finally have the peace he deserves!” I said.
“If you say so.” Rainbow said, signing the contract.
“Great! From here on out, you are not leaving my sight.” I said.
“I already regret signing this.” Rainbow said to herself.
“Now, the first thing we all should do, as friends, we’re going to construct my new business together! Isn’t that fun?” I asked.
“Yippie.” The Mane Six all said sarcastically, except for Pinkie.
“That sounds like fun!” Pinkie said excitedly. “Wait, am I allowed to use power tools?”
“Of course!” I said.
“Yay!” Pinkie jumped up in excitement. “Nopony ever lets me use power tools!” So the eight of us went over to the property near the park where I bought out the property already, and the robots were just constructing the shop, and in good time too.
“Wow, these robots seem fascinating! Are you a scientist too?” Twilight asked.
“No, but my treacherous ex-friend is one. That trailer I live in used to be his, but he abandoned it, so I was able to take it. He left some stuff behind, so I got these robots. He’s a robot builder, and a really good one too I must admit.” I said.
“Fascinating.” Twilight said.
“So if you got these robot thingamajigs to build your shop, what do ya need us for?” AppleJack asked.
“Well, when they’re done, I’ll need your help decorating the inside. The construction drones cannot decorate, only build.” I explained.
Rarity smiled and said, “Well, if you’re in need of some decoration, decoration is my middle name!”
“We still don’t even know your last name.” Rainbow mentioned to Rarity.
“Now the first thing we should do is-“ I started, but I got cut off by one of the robots.
“Done.” One of the robots said.
“Already?” I asked. I turned around and the building where my business is taking place in has been completed. Still no sign, still empty inside, but it’s already done. “Wow! Porky, my man, I may strongly dislike you with all my heart, but you never cease to amaze me!”
“Who’s Porky? Is he a pig?” Pinkie asked.
“Oh big time.” I said.
“Oh wow, I was right! I was actually joking!” Pinkie said excitedly as she snorted like a pig.
“Oooook, so what do you need us to do, Flare?” Twilight asked.
“Here, I drew a picture of what I want the inside to look like.” I took out a rolled up piece of paper out of my satchel and placed it down.
“Is that it?” Rarity asked, pointing to the rolled up paper. I unrolled the paper, and it was a HUGE drawing of what I wanted the inside to look like.
“And this is only one side to one room.” I said, showing them the drawing. “I want each of you to memorize all these drawings, and make them look exactly like this; except don’t make it look all crayony.”
“Ok, darling, I can do this no problem; only one thing.” Rarity started.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Where did you learn to draw?” Rarity asked.
“That’s not the point. THIS is the point.” I said as I pointed to Fluttershy. Fluttershy got startled and hid behind Rainbow Dash in the air. “So we ready to get this party started?!” I yelled out.
“YEAH!” Pinkie yelled, jumping in the air in excitement. Everypony else just looked at eachother confusingly.
“Party over here, y’all!” I said in a girly voice. So we all got started in decorating the inside of the shop. AppleJack and Rainbow Dash were carrying the tables inside, and Pinkie was bringing in the chairs, but she was carrying all of them at once, all stacked in a row. “Wow, Pinkie!” I said shockingly. “I must say, I’m impressed with your stacking skills. Reminds me back when I was working at that Italian restaurant back at home.”
A cutaway shows me with a whole bunch of plates using my hooves, and even some with my magic. I was humming to myself, and even tilted the food over certain ponies, trying to avoid a mess. “Hey, moron; use a tray next time, that’s way too many plates.” One of the other waiters said to me.
“Ahhh, the new waiter Rex; so cute in your inexperience. Watch…. And learn…. My friend.” I said to him. He just nodded with a creepy smile on his face, and he tripped me over and I fell on the table in front of me, and there was pasta and stuff all over the ponies in that table. “Oh holy Wizard of Hope; let me clean those glasses for you.” I said to one of the ponies in the table as I wiped down the spaghetti sauce from his glasses. “I clean, I clean. Bye bye, gooey sauce.” Since that wasn’t really working out, I started grading cheese on all over the pastas on the ponies’. “How about some cheese? Yeah, nice cheese! Yes you like it! Yes you like it! Oh, yes you like it, the cheese!” Just then the boss came over and glared at me. “Papa.” I said as I dropped the cheese on the table, and the eggplant that was on top of one of the pony’s heads slid off his head and fell onto the floor. The cutaway ends.
“Hey, Flare? I got these paintings from my storage room in my Boutique, and I have nowhere else to put them; I was thinking, maybe you can hang them up.” Rarity suggested.
“Paintings; good call, Rare! Let us see those paintings.” I asked.
“Alright, dear, I certainly hope its perfection.” Rarity said.
“Well, one thing’s for sure: you can’t rush it.” I said as I looked at the paintings.
“So darling, what do you think?” Rarity asked.
“I think with my brain.” I said.
“That’s ‘how’ you think, not ‘what’ you think.” Twilight corrected me.
“With my brain; forget logic.” I said.
“Oh I REALLY like Flare!” Pinkie said.
“It’s a good thing somepony does. It’s not everyday somepony gets liked.” I said.
“You kidding? Ponies get liked here ALL the time!” Pinkie said.
“Hey, any fool can like a simple Facebook page.” I said.
A cutaway shows me looking at my Facebook group page, and I was looking at the group of profiles that liked my page and I was like; “Holy Wizard of Strength, is that Tara Strong?! She liked my page!” I yelled excitedly and fangirl screamed. “Look, Beary! Tara Strong liked my page!” I showed to my teddy bear. “Look, fish! Tara Strong liked my page!” I showed to my fish.
“Who?” one of the fish asked.
“Look, bedroom! Tara Strong liked my page!” I showed to my bedroom. “Look, monster in my closet! Tara Strong liked my page!” I showed to the monster in my closet.
“Cool! My cousin lives in her closet.” The monster said. The cutaway ends.
“So how do you like the paintings, dear?” Rarity asked.
“The paintings are good, Rare.” I said.
“Oh good! Where are we going to hang them up?” Rarity asked.
“I didn’t say we were gonna hang them up. They’re good, but they’re not great. I want this restaurant to be the best it can be.” I said.
“Oooo, we got a hint! This place is going to be a restaurant!” Pinkie said excitedly.
“But…. I looked real hard for these paintings.” Rarity whined.
“Oh boo hoo. You forget, I’m the boss. Boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss.” I said.
Rarity groaned and whispered to herself, “I’ll show you a boss!”
“Yeah, me. I got good hearing, you know.” I teased. “LAWL! Now get back to work!”
“Hey, Flare, ah got some of these picnic benches from Sweet Apple Acres for yer booths. Ya are gonna have booths, right?” AppleJack suggested.
“Picnic benches, really?” I facehoofed myself. “AppleJack, AppleJack, AppleJack, here’s the thing: this isn’t going to be some redneck B-B-Q shack, this is going to be a very nice resturaunt. Maybe, fancy, but I wouldn’t jump to conclusions. So get that old rotten piece of wood out of my shop! If I say I need wood, I’ll let you know.” Pinkie started giggling. “Who said you can stop?!” I yelled at Pinkie. “I’m the boss, remember? Boss, boss, boss!”
“What you said was funny!” Pinkie said.
“What? If I need wood I’ll let you know?” I asked. Pinkie started laughing harder. “Will you stop that laughing, Pinks? Why do you have to make it so hard?” Pinkie laughed even harder. “Why did I get myself surrounded by these ponies?”
“What was that?” AppleJack asked, glaring at me.
“Oh, nothing, nothing. Forget what I said. It… it just slipped.” I smiled embarrassingly and let out a little squee. Just then, I heard an explosion coming from the kitchen. I ran in there and saw Spike. “WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!”
“Peas! Made them the ol’ fashion way.” Spike said, pointing to a can of peas on the stove, and still in the can.
“Spike, you have to take them out of the- HOLY WIZARD OF FEELINGS, WHAT IS THAT?!” I yelled, pointing to…. I dunno what it is, on the counter.
“That’s the appetizer.” Spike said.
“Dude, you don’t even know what kind of restaurant I’m opening up.” I said.
“Well, considering there’s a lot of jars of pizza sauce on the counter, there’s a bunch of Italian portraits laying there against the wall, and there’s an unfinished sign that says ‘Flare’s Pizza Parlor’, so I suppose the answer to that question is quite obvious.” Spike explained.
“Ooo, ooo! It’s a Chinese restaurant!” Pinkie yelled from the window connecting the kitchen to the dining room.
“Oh I wish it was a Chinese restaurant, but only Chinese ponies can work at them, believe me, I tried.” I said. “Now, Spike, throw those peas away, and…. Whatever that thing is, and get back to decorating the dining room!”
“Who made you the boss?” Spike asked.
“I did. Boss, boss, boss, boss, boss; and it says on our friendship agreement that if you’re helping in any place I own, I have to make the rules.” I said.
“I know; unlike the others, I read contracts, and I would’ve thought this would’ve been an exception.” Spike assumed.
“Yeah, well, you’re wrong, so go help the others.” I ordered him.
Spike groaned and said, “Fine.” And he walked back into the dining room to help the others. I followed him out.
“Umm, Flare?” Fluttershy tapped my shoulder, trying to get my attention.
“Ugh, WHAT?!” I yelled.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.” Fluttershy said frighteningly, and backed away slowly.
“No, Flutters, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. Please come back. I have cookies.” I said, but she just hid under a table, cowarding in fear.
“Alright, I think I went overboard with that one.” I thought.
“Uhh, you think?” Rainbow Dash asked sarcastically.
“Who said you could leave your post? Get back doing what you’re doing!” I demanded.
Rainbow flew over to Twilight and whispered, “Can we leave now? This pony is really starting to get on my nerves.”
“Ah agree. He called mah furniture ‘too redneck’.” AppleJack said. “Me and mah family ain’t no rednecks; we’re Southwestern! That’s different.”
“He called all my paintings ‘not stylish enough’, and this one has rubies on it.” Rarity said, showing a painting to her friends, but it did not have rubies on it.
“Rubies? What rubies?” AppleJack asked.
Rarity looked at the picture and gasped. “Where did the rubies go?!” Spike embarrassedly hid in the kitchen.
“He also told me not to jump around and sing while I work. How else am I suppose to make the work fun?” Pinkie asked angrily.
“He also…. Y-yelled at me.” Fluttershy said, sounding like she’s about to cry.
“Ok, that’s it, I had enough. I don’t know about you Twilight, but we’re leaving.” Rainbow said as they all walked (Pinkie hopped) towards the door.
“Wait, girls, don’t go. Princess Luna said we need to make this pony feel welcomed.” Twilight reminded them.
“Well, I don’t know how she would want us to welcome a pony as pathetic as him.” Rainbow said.
“Excuse me? Excuse me?!” I said angrily as I walked towards the group.
“You heard us. We’re really getting tired of being the nice ponies towards those who don’t deserve it!” AppleJack said angrily at me.
“I deserve niceness as much as every other pony!” I yelled. “Except for rappers; rappers are annoying.”
“Well, my dear, you might as well be a rapper.” Rarity said.
“Girls, girls, please!” Twilight said to her friends.
“LAWL! Wow, listen to you Twilight, you sound like Edna Garrett. Girls, girls, girls!” I teased as I mimicked Edna’s voice.
“Flare, please calm down.” Twilight requested.
“I don’t need to calm down! I’m the boss! Boss, boss, boss, boss, BOSS, BOSS, BOSS, B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BOOOOOOOSS!” I yelled.
“Alright, I really didn’t think it would come to this, but you leave me no other option. I’m sorry, Flare, but you’re on your own.” Twilight said.
“Of course I own this place. LAWL!” I teased.
“See, that’s the thing. You’re never going to make any friends if you’re going to continue saying words like ‘LAWL’, or being just a wee-bit…. Umm…. Irritating.” Twilight explained.
“A wee-bit?! I've never seen anypony so irritating in my life!” Rainbow yelled.
“Yes you have!” I said to Rainbow in a mischievous voice.
“Ok, yes I have, but you’re on the Top 5 list!” Rainbow said.
“So what are you trying to say?” I asked.
“We’re saying that… if you really want to feel welcomed around here, or want anypony’s help, show a little respect.” Twilight said.
“Respect, huh? R-E-S-P-E-C-T; something that means nothing to me?” I asked.
“Respect should mean something to you!” Twilight said.
“It did, a long time ago, but nopony seems to ever respect me!” I said.
“I can really see why.” Spike said.
“Spike? C’mon, you’re my bro, you can’t just go against me like this! We have a friendship agreement!” I said.
Rainbow takes all the friendship agreements, and throws all of them in the shredder. “Oops; I dropped it.” She said sarcastically.
“Uhh, friendship agreement, section 1, paragraph 8, the Friendship Agreement cannot be destroyed unless you truly don’t want to be friends with me anymore!” I explained.
“Well, ya heard correctly, Flare.” AppleJack said.
“You meanie!” Pinkie stuck her tongue out at me. I stuck my tongue out back.
“C’mon, girls, let’s go.” Twilight said as they all turned around and walked out of the shop.
“Alright, fine! Go, leave! See if I care! You’re all tators; tator-tots; just like the rest of them! I don’t need any friends! I’m better than all of you!” I yelled. They were all gone, all seven of them. I was all alone in my unfinished pizza shop. I stopped for a second, and then I began to realize, what kind of pony have I become? All those fools back at Mareami got the best of me. I turned into them, and now I put my entire grudge on the six ponies (and one dragon) that were my only hope of ever making friends. So, it has come to this.
TO BE CONTINUED…..
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I don't see any really huge problems with this story. It is extremely silly and nonsensical but I have not found any super bad grammar or spelling errors. It is simply way too silly for me to read, but I see no reason to downvote it. It is not my personal cup of tea, but I feel like many folks just decided to downvote it to be jerks. I do not tend to downvote unless a story is absolute crap so have a thumbs up sir.
5575335 I have to thank you, your comment was the reason I gave this story a chance. I thought there will be horrible grammar due to the dislike bar. I needed to read something silly to lighten up my day.