Flare Through Time - Part 2
In case you were too lazy to check back at the last chapter for the story in part 1, you’re gonna have a rough time here at part 2. In case you forgot what happens, here’s what happens: back at Chapter 15, when Spike and I wanted to be on the cover for the Most Stupidest Stunts magazine, the two of us made a time machine out of a microwave using tinfoil, fruits, veggies, fine china, eggs, boiling water, spaghetti sauce, plastic, and sponges - the things you SHOULDN’T put in the microwave. With it, we traveled back to the Summer Sun Celebration, and the night of Nightmare Moon’s return, and the first time Twilight and Spike set hoof in Ponyville. We went to this time because Spike wanted to witness the defeat of Nightmare Moon, but without affecting the timeline and causing paradoxes. Unknowningly, a plastic container from the Chinese food we got before we traveled in time followed us, and now it’s in Carosuel Boutique, making her plastic manikins (or ponikins as I call them) come to life. Is this the work of Nightmare Moon, or… is this the work of something even greater? Let’s find out now…
Nightmare Moon lets out an evil laugh while everypony was in fear. "Seize her! Only she knows where the Princess is!" Mayor Mare cried out.
The royal guards start charging towards Nightmare. "Stand back, you fools!" she yelled as she disappears, and then a cloud of blue smoke starts flying away, and Rainbow Dash started to chase her.
"Come back here!" Rainbow yelled.
"This is sooooo awesome!" Spike said excitedly. "I'm here to witness the Summer Sun Celebration, and the return of Nightmare Moon! Somepony pinch me!"
Just then I punched Spike in the back. "OW! Why did you do that?!" Spike asked.
"You said punch me." I said.
"I said pinch me!" Spike corrected me.
"Oh, okay!" I said as I started pinching him.
"Ow! Ow! Stop that!” Spike complained.
“Kay kay.” I said as I stopped. “I’ll tell you something, brah, this is some weird stuff we got ourselves into, almost as weird as Big Comfy Couch.”
A cutaway shows Loonette hoping back to her couch from the clock carpet. “Alright, got back from the clockwork stretch! I no longer feel achy and filled with morning pains anymore, like Charlie horses!” Loonette then looked at the camera and said. “You know what a Charlie Horse is? It’s when you get a very bad pain on your leg if you wake up sleeping on it something. You wanna hear more about pains?”
“Here’s an interesting thought about pains.” Sheldon Cooper started. “You have talking dust bunnies under your bed. Have you ever considered cleaning them up? Because they can make you really sick.”
“Sheldon? What are you doing here?” Loonette asked.
“Every Saturday morning 8 PM, I pour myself a bowl of cereal, sit at this end at this very couch, turn on BBC America and watch Doctor Who.” Sheldon said.
“Sheldon, I’m having my show now.” Loonette reminded Sheldon.
Sheldon was quiet for a second, and then he said; “Every Saturday morning at 8 PM, I pour myself a bowl of cereal, sit at this end-“
“Here’s another painful thought.” Loonette said to the camera. “Having an annoying roommate. That can be very painful, cause you get so mad!”
“Who are you talking to Loonette, you know fairly well your show is cancelled; not to mention you’re a full grown adult with random toys in her couch, and talks to a doll, and sleeps in her clothes, I’m surprised you’re not in a mental institution.” Sheldon explained.
“QUIET! I’m a clown, and I make everyone laugh!” Loonette yelled.
“Yes, people laugh for your stupidity.” Sheldon corrected her.
“Molly, you think we should let Sheldon move out?” Loonette asked her doll. Molly nodded.
“Quit encouraging her, Bob Stutt. You’re an evil mastermind that makes people go crazy. Just look at what you did to the kids that watch Canadian Sesame Street.” Sheldon said to the man behind the couch.
“Quit ruining people’s childhoods, Sheldon.” Bob demanded.
“I’m not ruining people’s childhoods! I’m just stating facts, is all. You’re the ones ruining people’s childhoods by lying to them.” Sheldon corrected him.
“I’m so gonna lose it!” Loonette said. And from that day forward, Sheldon was afraid of clowns, and was the main reason why he moved to Pasadena. The cutaway ends.
"So what do we do now?” I asked.
"I say we should head to the library and follow the girls to Nightmare Moon’s castle.” Spike said.
“Won’t you be there?” I asked.
"I was asleep the whole time.” Spike said. "But this time is different! I'm not tired this-" Just then Spike fell over and went to sleep on my lap. This felt a bit cute at first and I felt that I didn’t want to bother him, but it looked like he was about to droll so I used my water squirter spell to wake him up. “Whoa, whoa! What?!”
“You were about to droll on my leg.” I said.
“I don’t droll!” Spike yelled. “… Much.”
“You’re not sleeping. I’m not doing this without you.” I demanded. “We’re gonna stay up all night, and watch-“ Just then I fell over and fell asleep on Spike’s lap.
After a little while Spike and I caught up with the Mane Six over at the library. Spike just got out of the bedroom tucking in past Spike and she started searching her books for answers. Present Spike and I were hiding under our box disguises on the other side of the room as we watched Twilight spasing out. "I'm getting tired of these stupid box disguises!" I complained.
"Well too bad. We need them, man.” Spike explained. "If we get caught, it can mess up time.”
“I’m willing to take that chance.” I said.
“No you’re not.” Spike corrected me
“Yeah, I’m not.” I agreed.
"Elements, elements, elements... Ugh! How can I stop Night Mare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?!” Twilight freaked out.
"And just what are the Elements of Harmony?" Rainbow Dash asked Twilight in a threatening tone. "And how did you know about Night Mare Moon, huh? Are you a spy?!"
"No, if she were a spy, she’d have more a French accent, she’d be backstabbing snipers, sappin’ sentries, and wearing a hot ski-mask in an open desert without getting sweaty.” I explained.
"Simmer down, Sally." AppleJack stopped Rainbow, holding her tail. "She ain't no spy. But she sure knows what's going on. Don't you, Twilight?" AppleJack asked Twilight as everypony started to look at her.
“That’s the second time I saw AppleJack bite Rainbow’s tail.” I commented.
"I read all about the prediction of Night Mare Moon." Twilight started. "Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her, but I don't know what they are, where to find them, I don't even know what they do!" Just then, I took a remote control out of the box I was in, pressed a button on it, and then the Mane Six started talking and moving around really fast.
“What are you doing?” Spike asked.
“This is boring, I’m fast-forwarding ahead.” I said.
“Won’t that affect the timeline?” Spike asked.
“Relax, they’re still talking normally in their own point of view.” I said.
“What about in other’s points of view?” Spike asked.
“Who else is in here besides us?” I asked.
A cutaway shows some little girls watching My Little Pony on TV, and they looked confused on what’s going on because everything looked like it was fast-forwarding. “Amy, did you sit on the remote again?” one of the girls asked.
“We’re watching live TV, how can I be fast-forwarding that?” Amy asked.
“I’m loving this show, sis! I should brag about it on 4chan, and tell them about that cross-eyed pony that’s barely noticeable in the background.” An adult man said, standing up next to the couch and drinking soda. “Maybe I’ll start a new community about men watching My Little Pony. But what shall be a good name for our group?”
“How about bronies?” Amy suggested.
“No, that’s silly. I’m actually thinking of Mare-Men. That’s an awesome name!” the guy said. The cutaway ends.
"Alright the coast is clear, you can turn off fast-forwarding now." Spike said.
After I pressed play on the remote and we removed our box disguises, I corrected Spike by saying, "But we're not at the beach."
“Why would say that?” Spike asked.
“You said the coast was clear.” I reminded him.
Spike just stared at me emotionless for a few seconds and then he finally said, “So anyways, how about Nightmare Moon?”
“What about her?” I asked.
“Aren’t we gonna see the girls use the Elements of Harmony on her?” Spike asked.
“But Twilight says she doesn’t know where to find them or what they do. We plenty of time!” I said.
“She said she discovers them just as Nightmare Moon gets defeated.” Spike said.
“You know, throughout this whole time trip, it’s all been about you. How about I do something I want for a change?” I asked.
“I don’t even know when Nightmare Moon gets defeated, so I’d rather follow them to the castle before it’s too late.” Spike explained.
“Look at you, Mr. Bigshot! You know what I wanna do first? I wanna suggest opening a Cheesecake Factory in Ponyville, because when I move here, I don’t wanna keep bragging about it.” I said.
“Trust me, Flare. If not Cheesecake Factory, you’ll always have something else to brag about.” Spike said.
“You’re right about that, but at least it wouldn’t be about Cheesecake Factory.” I said.
“What do you think would be next?” Spike asked.
“Probably P.F. Changs.” I said.
“The only expensive Chinese restaurant.” Spike said.
“Free for you probably. Chinese ponies respect you.” I said.
“It’s mostly Equestrian ponies that run the most famous Chinese restaurants.” Spike corrected me.
"It’s ironic is it not?” I asked.
“We’re getting a little off topic right now. The girls are gonna head into the Everfree Forest in a bit to hunt for Nightmare Moon.” Spike said.
“You know, the Everfree Forest wasn’t always the Everfree Forest, it used to be old Canterlot, but then Discord created magic seeds before he was imprisoned, and they didn’t grow until Nightmare Moon’s banishment, and once Celestia knew what was happening, they moved the location to the mountains up ahead.” I explained.
“Hey, Flare? You remember when you said Twilight was full of words and saying things you already knew?” I asked.
“Yeah?” I nodded.
“I think some of it is rubbing off you.” Spike said.
“So you’re saying I’m a bookworm now?” I asked.
“No I was saying you kept stating the obvious. Trust me, if you hung with Twilight as long as I have, you tend to know EVERYTHING about the history of Equestria.” Spike said.
“Is that why you don’t go to school? Because you already know this stuff?” I asked.
“I’m mama’s little genius.” Spike said.
“No wonder the Chinese like you.” I said.
Meanwhile over at Carousel Boutique, Opal was thrown in her cat cage by one of the ponikins that came to life. “There we go! You can’t hurt anyone in there!” the ponikin said to Opal. Opal started hissing and screeching as she started shaking about the cage. It startled the ponikin but it didn’t freak it out. “Now then, it is time to start phrase 2 of my plan, great old friend. Soon we’ll be able to take over this new land, with our army of Autons!” the ponikin said as eight ponikins from Rarity’s shop started walking towards their leader. “Now we have no idea what this town is like, but these four-legged creatures may not show mercy, shoot first, and ask questions after lunch! Because if we eat lunch first, it’ll get our minds re-energized for negotiation. Now hold out!” the leader ordered his minions as they all started marching out of the Boutique.
So once Spike and I were finished wasting our time at the library, we met up with the Mane Six over at Everfree. “Ok, girls, we’re gonna say it together, alright? 1… 2… 3…” Pinkie started.
“The Everfree Forest?!” the Mane Six all cried out at the same time.
“Alright, see? We made it just in time!” I said.
“Are you sure we should go in there?” Spike asked frighteningly. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”
“Oh don’t ridiculous, brah! We’ve been in there once before, and a crazy zebra lives in there, and she survives well. Come to think of it, all the ponies I see go in there always come out, so don’t think it’s THAT dangerous.” I explained.
"Zecora isn’t THAT crazy." Spike said. "She knows alot more than us."
“So you think she’s crazy in general.” I said.
“That’s not what I said.” Spike said
“You said Zecora isn’t THAT crazy, which means you still find her crazy.” I corrected him.
Spike was silent for a moment and thought to himself. “Ok, I find her crazy.” He admitted.
“Look brah, we should be fine, as long as we don't run into any of those ligers again, we should be fine; or Timberwolves, or lions, or tigers, or bears, oh my, and let's definitely hope we don't run into antelopes with night vision goggles! Those guys are annoying!" I said.
A cutaway gag shows two antelopes with night vision goggles in the forest, hiding in tall grass, in the middle of the night, seeing a lion up ahead. "Oh no, look who's back!" the first antelope said annoyed.
"Again?" the second antelope asked.
"It's embarrassing."
"It's embarrassing!"
"We can see you, Carl!" one of the antelopes said to the lion.
"We can totally see you!"
"C'mon, you're better than this! You're the king of the jungle!"
"Have you thought about going vegan, Carl?"
Just then the lion starts walking away, and the antelopes start laughing. Just then, two guitar ponies were up on a stage in another section of the tall grass, and one says; "You know, Ronnie; folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to Geico, sure are happy!"
"And how happy are they, Jimmy?" the other guitar pony asked.
"Happier than an antelope with night vision goggles!" Jimmy said.
"Nice!" Ronnie nodded.
Just then they both start playing their guitars, and a voice in the background says; "Get happy, get Geico! 15 minutes, can save you 15% or more!" The cutaway ends.
"Well I wasn't worried about them before, but now am I." Spike said. Then they see the Mane 6 up ahead, about to enter the forest.
"Especially if there's candy apples in there!" Pinkie said excitedly. "What? Those things are good!" Pinkie then skips inside the forest, and Twilight lets out a sigh and follows them.
"Oh did you see AppleJack while she was walking inside the forest? Her freckles were missing." I pointed out.
"Yeah, and Rainbow Dash's tail was missing too." Spike pointed out. "What's going on here? What's causing that?"
"That's a mystery we can solve another day, bro! But for now, we must catch up with them, without them seeing us." I said.
“I remember during the Meteor Shower, the night Twilight met Owlowiscious, when Rainbow Dash ate an apple, and then Scootaloo said she’d do anything for Rainbow, the apples turns into a core-“ Spike snaps his fingers. “Just like that! Seen that cliché like that a lot during my time in Ponyville.”
“Yeah, cool story bro.” I said sarcastically. Just then, before we were able to step inside Everfree, we heard some screaming back in Ponyville. “You hear that?”
“Do I hear the screaming? No I don’t.” Spike said sarcastically.
“Why wouldn’t you be able to hear that? Are you deef or something?” I asked.
“Deef?” Spike asked.
“Yeah, deef.” I said.
“You mean deaf, right?” Spike corrected me.
“No, because that word sounds too close to ‘death’, I prefer ‘deef’.” I said. “So are you deef? You didn’t hear that scream?”
“I was being sarcastic, Flare!” Spike corrected me.
“Holy Wizard of Strength! I just can’t tell the difference can I?” I asked.
“You should remember this stuff, Flare.” Spike reminded me.
“Lawl I remember, Spike.” I said.
“You have to do that every time?” Spike asked.
“Lawl I don’t do this every time, only the times when you least expect it.” I corrected him. Just then we heard the screaming again. “Is that scream supposed to happen?” I asked.
“I’m not sure. I was asleep during this time.” Spike said.
“We should go check it out.” I suggested.
“But what about Nightmare Moon’s defeat?” Spike asked.
“Yeah, yeah, we’ll get to that. I wanna see this first.” I said as I started running back into town to see what the fuss is about; Spike sighed and followed along. When we ran back to town, something strange was going on here, because plastic window shop dummies started attacking the town. They had little blasters coming out of their hooves and started shooting everywhere, but luckily these dummies have bad aim, and nopony was hit, but the town is facing minor damage.
“Ok, I know Nightmare Moon had a lot of tricks up her sleeve, trust me Twilight told me, but this… I don’t remember this happening!” Spike said.
“Holy Wizard of Hope!” I gasped.
“What type of sorcery did Nightmare Moon do?!” Spike yelled.
“This isn’t Nightmare Moon’s doing, Spike, these are Autons!” I said.
“Autons?” Spike asked.
“Plastic window shop dummies come to life by a Great Old One; sending signals using little flashing balls that ring like a telephone; the first enemy the Third Doctor and the Ninth Doctor faced.” I explained.
“Oh so this is Doctor House, right?” Spike asked.
I just silently glared at him for a few seconds, and then I let out a, “Get out!” So Spike and I hid behind a building and watched the Autons attacking the town. “We have to do something about this. I don’t think this is part of this timeline.” I said.
“I wouldn’t know. I was asleep the whole time.” Spike said.
“We have to defeat the Autons somehow, and by doing that, I believe we need to find a flashing ball that sounds like a telephone ring.” I said.
“And where can we find something like that?” Spike asked.
“I dunno! Where are the window shop dummies coming from?” I asked.
“How should I know? Ponikins can be seen all around town! It’s full of clothing stores!” Spike said.
“We have to find the right clothing store.” I said. “The faster we get this done-“
“The faster we can watch Nightmare Moon’s defeat.” Spike said.
“Actually I was gonna say, ‘the faster we get some churros’, but right, that’s the main reason why we’re here.” I said.
“Churros does sound good though.” Spike said.
“Yes, churros do sound good! We’ll get some right after the Autons and we’ll eat them as we watch Nightmare’s defeat.” I said.
“So meet back here in a few?” Spike asked.
“With the churros!” I added.
“Got it!” Spike nodded. So the two of us split up to find the relay signal that brought these ponikins to life. Firstly, I checked the costume store closest to Twilight’s library, the one where we got the box disguises from. As it turns out the boxes we got from there weren’t for sale, and the manager wanted them back. I have no clue where they are now, probably either at town hall or Twilight’s. Meanwhile, with Spike, of course the first place he checks was Carousel Boutique, and to his luck, he hears a ringing sound coming from upstairs.
Spike walks up to the second floor of Rarity’s shop, and he tip-toes through the dark hallway, but seeing a flashing light coming from Rarity’s room. Spike also hears an evil laughter coming from the room. Spike’s curiosity gets the best of him and he tip-toes to the edge of the door and peeks inside, and sees a ponikin inside with a flashing ball. “My minions have been doing a fantastic job capturing this town, and soon everything will be in place. This land shall be ours, my old friend, and ponykind will fall.” The ponikin said.
“Who the hay is he talking to?” Spike asked.
“Yes, I know, this universe does differ from the human world, but I’ll tell you something: these horses are weak. They have no weapons to defend themselves. Just look at them, running for their lives like the cowards they are! Research shows that they’re ruled by a powerful princess. Where is their princess though? Why isn’t she saving her royal subjects?” the ponikin asked.
“How dare he insult the princess?!” Spike asked himself angrily.
“In time, my friend, in time. The Doctor isn’t even in this universe, so there’s really no need for rush.” The ponikin said.
“The Doctor? Wait… I got it!” Spike ran off to tell me the good / bad news; it really depends on how he sees it.
Meanwhile, over at the Joke Shop, I just exited there after getting a whacky joker hat with jingle bells on it. I couldn’t stop shaking my head around after I got it. I’m not even sure if this affects the timeline. I didn’t even know all the stores are opened right now, it’s the middle of the night: 8 AM! Wait, why is it night time? Probably daylight savings time. Anyways, up ahead, I saw Spike running towards me faster than the speed of squirrel. “Oh hey, brah! What’s the rush?” I asked.
“I… I… I…” Spike stuttered as he attempted to catch his breath after all that running he did.
“Bro, you have to lay off the gems. You’re getting out of shape.” I said.
“Ex… excuse me, Flare, but…. I happen to…. Let you know… I happen to be….” Spike still was managing to catch his breath.
“W-why y-you k-keep st-stutter-i-ing?” I teased.
“Will you just gimmie a second, Flare?!” Spike yelled.
“So you get tired fairly quickly from running, and you can hardly talk, but you have enough energy to yell?” I asked.
After Spike finishes catching his breath, he inhales and was just about to explain our situation, but… “You found the flashing ball and the one responsible for this right?” I assumed.
“You didn’t give me a chance to explain it!” Spike complained.
“Well who’s fault was that? You’re too slow. Lion face.” I teased.
“Well I dunno who the leader is though, and it seems he’s not working alone.” Spike said.
“What does the leader look like?” I asked.
“He’s a ponikin.” Spike said.
“Sounds easy enough; except for one thing.” I said.
“What is that?” Spike asked.
“Actually, it’s two things.” I corrected myself.
“Ok, what are they?” Spike asked.
“Ok, the first thing is, that this is two things.” I started. “Second, umm…. Darn, I just had it! Oh right- THEY’RE ALL PONIKINS! How the hay are we supposed to find out which one is the leader?!”
“The leader is the one with the flashy ball, and he’s a Carousel Boutique.” Spike said.
“Alright, now if I remember correctly, the only way to disable a ponikin is the main source of the invasion. The one controlling the Autons is a Great Old One known as the Nestene Consciousness.” I explained.
“A great old what?” Spike asked.
“Great Old One. It’s an alien species born before the universe existed. They have the power to become anything.” I said.
“So that’s why they become window dummies?” Spike asked.
“They have no shape or form; they’re a spiritual intelligence.” I said.
“So they’re ghosts then.” Spike assumed.
“They’re not ghosts, they’re an alien species with no shape or form, only intelligence.” I corrected him.
“So they’re technically ghosts.” Spike said.
“Well… ok, yeah, I guess you can say they’re ghosts.” I agreed. “But these things can travel through time and space, and now as it would seem, between universal dimensions.”
“So we’re dealing with an alien creature not from this universe?” Spike asked.
“Righty-O, buddy-O!” I said.
“So how do we find this Nestene Consciousness?” Spike asked.
“It’s hidden somewhere. I’m not sure where though. Look for a giant squid creature that looks like it’s generating telepathic energy.” I explained.
“Wait, so this Conscious fellow is a squid?” Spike asked.
“Affirmative.” I nodded.
“Then who was that ponikin talking when I was a Carousel Boutique?” Spike asked.
“Huh. I’m not sure. This is an answer for only the Doctor to explain.” I said.
“Where is he? Didn’t we see him yesterday?” Spike asked.
“Yes, but… I’m not sure where he is. Maybe he’s already taking care of the situation.” I thought.
“So then we shall go see Nightmare Moon?” Spike asked.
“Not so fast, brah. We may already know more than he does.” I said.
“Is that even possible?” Spike asked.
“Oh it’s possible alright. He may not know what the deal is. He may not know there’s more than one thing behind all this. We have to find him, and fast.” I said.
“Hopefully faster than Sonic in Max Speed.” Spike said.
A cutaway shows Sonic the Hedgehog running faster than the speed of sound, collecting rings and such, but there was a pony standing right in front of him with his mouth wide open. Sonic slides his feet across the ground, making a car break sound, trying to stop, but unfortunately he wasn’t fast enough and he lands inside the pony’s mouth, and he swallows him. “My name is Max Speed.” The big mouthed pony said. “And I have Sonic the Hedgehog inside of me.” Max then spits out a ring from his mouth and observes it. “Ooooo a free ring!” he said excitedly as he was about to grab the ring, but when he grabs it, the ring disappears out of thin air, and it makes a dinging sound. “Oh.” He said upsettingly. The cutaway ends.
“Now where can the Doctor be at this time?” Spike asked.
“Well he could be anywhere right now; Everfree, Sweet Apple Acres, the sewers, this is going to be pretty difficult.” I thought.
“What type of environment does an Old One like to hang out in?” Spike asked.
“Well, somewhere well hidden, that’s for sure, like a machine, or a pipeline, mostly anywhere with a satellite.” I explained.
“A satellite?” Spike asked.
“I think that’s what those flashing balls are for. You said you saw a flashing ball at Rarity’s, right?” I asked.
“Yes.” Spike nodded.
“Which means, our Conscious fellow is somewhere around there.” I assumed.
“But that still doesn’t explain the ponikin talking to him.” Spike said.
“Maybe we should visit this ponikin friend of yours.” I said.
“Alright, sounds good. But one question though.” Spike said.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“When did we become friends?” Spike asked. So the two of us returned to Carousel Boutique, well… actually, this was my first time going there at this particular time, Spike’s the only one returning. So once we went there, we peeked through Rarity’s doorway, but the room was dark, and there was nopony in there.
“What are you trying to prove here, brah?” I asked.
“The ponikin was just here five minutes ago.” Spike said.
“Judging by the speed of an average pony, and the length of this town, he could’ve left Ponyville and made it to Froggy Bottom Bog by now.” I said.
“You know what’s the most ironic thing about Forggy Bottom Bog? There’s more toads than frogs.” Spike said.
“Why is that?” I asked.
“Hydras don’t like the way toads taste. Ick!” Spike said as he stuck out his tongue.
“When you stick out your tongue, it looks like a lizard.” I pointed out. Just then, faster than knew it, the door slammed shut behind us, and the entire room was dark. “Hey! Who turned out the lights?”
“The lights weren’t even on.” Spike corrected me.
“What happened?” I asked.
“The door slammed shut. Lemme try to… no good, it’s locked.” Spike said.
“I think our ponikin friend is on to us.” I assumed.
“Why do you keep saying he’s our friend?” Spike asked.
“It’s a figure of speech, brah.” I corrected him.
“Sounds like a weird figure of speech if you ask me.” Spike said.
“For Wizard of Hope’s sake I can’t see a thing! All I can see is your floating eyeballs.” I said.
“Yours too. It’s weird how that works, when it’s so dark, but you only see the other one’s eyes. I have yet to still ask Twilight how that happens.” Spike said. Just then, the darkness eased as we saw a flashing light over at Rarity’s desk, and the sound of a telephone coming from there. Spike and I started walking over to the flashy light, and it was the satellite ball that Spike found before.
“This must be the satellite that signals the Autons.” I said as I grabbed it and observed it, and after a few seconds, I threw it on the ground, and it broke. “Oops. I dropped it.”
“Looks like you did that on purpose.” Spike said.
“Of course I did, Sherlock! Without this, the Autons will become inactive.” I said.
“Or so you think.” A voice said in the darkness.
“Who’s there?” Spike asked.
“Brah, don’t say ‘who’s there’ until they say ‘knock knock’.” I corrected him.
“Who are you?” Spike asked.
“I’m a spiritual intelligence born before the universe existed, and now I shall take over along with my consciousness friend.” The voice said.
“You’re a what?” I asked.
“I’m better known as the Great Intelligence.” The voice said.
“That doesn’t answer my question.” I said.
“How can I make it any simpler?” the Intelligence asked.
“Say you’re a ghost.” I instructed.
“I am NOT a ghost!” the intelligence corrected me.
“You said you’re spiritual, and spiritual means ghost.” I corrected him.
“How dare you mock the name of the Great Intelligence?!” the Intelligence yelled.
“Excuse me, I didn’t say your name ONCE, how can I mock it?” I asked.
“Uh, Flare, now is not the best time for jokes.” Spike said.
“The Doctor jokes all the time, and he always saves the day.” I said.
“You know the Doctor?!” the Intelligence asked.
“Know him? I know a lot about him, from when he was William Hartnell, all the way to Matt Smith!” I said.
“I don’t know who those people are.” The Intelligence said.
“People? Is that an alien way of saying ‘ponies’?” Spike asked.
“Tell me about the Doctor!” the Intelligence demanded.
“He’s a Time Lord.” I said.
“Yeah, I’m gonna need more than that.” The Intelligence said.
“He’s a Time Lord that travels through space and time.” I said.
“More!” the Intelligence demanded.
“He’s a Time Lord that travels through space and time, and he travels in a blue police box.” I explained.
“Ok I had enough of you. YOU, DRAGON! Tell me about the Doctor!” the Intelligence demanded.
“Ok first of all, the name isn’t ‘dragon’, its Spike. This DRAGON has a name, bucko. And second of all, I don’t watch Doctor Who, so I really don’t know what to say about this.” Spike said.
“Watch? You spy on the Doctor?” the Intelligence asked.
“I just told you, I don’t even watch him!” Spike reminded him.
“NOT YOU! The pony!” the Intelligence corrected him.
“This pony’s got a name too, brah. It’s Flare Gun.” I explained.
“Well, then, Flare Gun. If I don’t get an actual answer from you soon, I’ll use your body as a host.” The Intelligence threatened me.
“A host, huh? Sounds possum grade awesome if you ask me! I’ve always wanted to host my own show!” I said.
A cutaway shows me as a host on a late night talk show. The swinging music was playing in the background as the audience was clopping their hooves for me, and the camera zooms in towards me sitting on a desk as the city of Manehatten shined in the night in the background behind me. “Alright, thank you, thank you! Welcome back to Flare’s Way! I am your host Flare Gun, and it is such an honor to be here. Normally I’d be at home playing on my XBUCKS without any clothes on, and eating salt and vinegar Lays!” I said as the audience started laughing. “What is the deal with Lays anyway? When you eat BBQ chips do they really taste BBQie? I mean, I think the only thing they put in there is BBQ flavoring, not really cooking it on a grill. I suppose they just don’t wanna burn themselves over making potato chips that are just gonna kill ya in the future. Anyways, listen to me telling you stupid stuff, and there’s my trusty sidekick dragon over there, because hey, all talk show hosts have a dim-witted sidekick.”
“Oh looks who’s talking! The only reason I’m the sidekick is because it goes to show I’m the funnier guy.” Spike said.
“Oh yeah? What makes you funnier?” I asked.
“You’re funnier looking.” Spike teased as he presses a button in front of him that makes a slide-whistle sound effect, and the audience started laughing. “Yeah listen to them laugh, Flare. They like me and my slide-whistle.” Spike presses the slide-whistle button again.
“See you press a button to use a slide-whistle, but you’re too lazy to do it yourself?” I asked.
“Huh? Oh this button is the fart button; the slide-whistle is just in the way.” Spike teased and the audience laughed even harder.
“Alright, alright, we don’t need to get carried away, brah. Alright, to calm things down, making sure you don’t laugh your spines out; please welcome our first guest to the show: Ollie Williams!” I said as the audience started clapping and Ollie started waving to the audience and walked towards me and we shook hooves and hugged. “Ollie Williams! Good to have you here! How you doing?”
“DOING GOOD!” Ollie yelled.
“Ok thank you very much, Ollie! We were glad to have you on the show. We’ll be right back after this commercial break!” I said to the viewers as the camera started zooming away from me and the audience was applauding (see I was gonna say clopping instead of applauding, but to avoid confusion I said applauding instead). The cutaway ends.
“That’s not what I meant by host.” The Intelligence corrected me. “I meant I’d take control of your body, and-“
“I know what it means, I’m not stupid.” I interrupted him.
“I wasn’t done talking.” The Intelligence said.
“You bore me, brah.” I said.
Spike facepalmed himself and said, “Yeah I’m starting think going back in time was a bad idea.”
“Shh.” I shushed him.
“Wha-?” Spike asked.
“You know, Mr. Intel, you and I are both seeking the same pony.” I said.
“What?” the Intelligence asked.
“The Doctor, yes. We’re both looking for him.” I said.
“You’re looking for too?” the Intelligence asked.
“Yep! Maybe if we work TO-GE-THER…” I winked at Spike, and he just shrugged at me. “We can look for him!”
“No tricks, pony.” The Intelligence demanded.
“Tricks are for kids.” I said.
“Alright, since you’re from here, you maybe in use to me.” The Intelligence said.
“Maybe? I’m ALWAYS useful, brah! Don’t you deny it!” I demanded.
“Ok then, find the Doctor, bring him to me!” the Intelligence instructed me as he opened the door to let us out.
“I promise, when I find the Doctor, I’ll bring him to you!” I swore.
“Good. Now begone!” the Intelligence demanded as Spike and I left the Boutique to go look for him.
“I kinda saw what you did there.” Spike said.
“I dunno how you wouldn’t. You were with me that whole time.” I said.
“No, I mean, you promised the Intelligence you’d bring the Doctor to him, so the Doctor can kick his flank, right?” Spike asked.
“The Intelligence doesn’t have a flank, brah. It’s a ghost.” I reminded him.
“Right, but still, how are you going to find this Doctor? You have no idea where he is.” Spike said.
“Don’t tell me I know and don’t know, because you don’t know anything about what I know and don’t know, you know?” I demanded.
“Right.” Spike agreed.
“Where can we find him?” I asked. As we were thinking, a couple of Autons started gaining on us.
“Look out!” Spike pointed out the Autons.
“Autons! Seems that the Intelligence didn’t tell the Consciousness that we’re working with him.” I assumed.
“Well, Flare, got anything to stop them? Hornsaber? Bubble shield? Laser blast? Even your shoop da whoop?” Spike asked.
“Nope. We’re doomed.” I said.
“Oh c’mon! You’re giving up like that?” Spike asked.
“What can I say? I don’t like destroying objects. Sometimes I find them to be people too.” I said.
“That’s pathetic.” Spike said.
“You’ve heard worse.” I said.
“HELP! HELP!” Spike cried.
“Yep, cry for help, Spike.” I said mischievously.
“Why are you making that face?” Spike asked.
“What face?” I asked with a mischievous looking face that’s somewhat silly.
“That one.” Spike said.
“I do not know what you mean.” I fibbed.
“HELP!” Spike cried again. Just then, out of nowhere, a shadow appears right behind the Autons, and a blue light shines in front of the shadow, and all the Autons heads explode. “Wow, that seemed easy. I didn’t think I had that much of a high-pitched voice.”
“Hello, my old friends!” the shadow said as he walked towards us and it’s revealed to be the Doctor. “It’s good to see you again!”
“Doctor! We’ve been looking for you!” Spike said.
“I knew you’d come!” I said.
“You did?” Spike asked.
“Whenever you’re in trouble with something alien-like, the Doctor always comes to the rescue. Duh!” I explained.
“Flare what are you doing here at this time, and how?” the Doctor asked.
“Wait how did you know we time traveled?” I asked.
A cutaway shows the Doctor walking over to my trailer and knocking on my door at my trailer back at the present time. “Yoo hoo? Flare? I got a crate of pears here. Someone delivered them to me as an April Fools prank and I was hoping you’d want som- Hello? What’s this?” the Doctor finds a note on my door that says, “Gone time travelling to the day Nightmare Moon gets defeated, be back in a few minutes most likely. PS: If this is the Chinese delivery pony I want my money back. I did not get my soup. All I got was uranium.” The Doctor gasps and said, “Oh no! Flare didn’t get his soup? What a rip-off! Wait! He went time travelling! Oh no! You can’t first-time travel without soup! I gotta go warn him!” The cutaway ends.
“So yeah, I’m here to give you two some soup. You shouldn’t first-time travel without it.” The Doctor said, giving Spike and a container of soup
“What kind is it?” Spike asked.
“It’s cheese soup.” The Doctor said.
“Yuck!” Spike and I said at the same time.
“What’s wrong with cheese soup? It’s nice and cheesy! Real good!” the Doctor said.
“Yuck!” Spike and I said again.
“It was either this or Split Pea, and nopony likes Split Pea.” The Doctor said.
“But Doctoooooooooor! You picked the exact opposite of what we waaaaaaant!” I whined.
“Well, that’s rare. My calculations of ponies like Split Pea soup better than Cheese Soup are 731 to 1.” The Doctor said.
“When you talk like that, you sound like a tactical droid from the Clone Wars series.” Spike commented.
“Well, regardless, it seems we’ve gotten ourselves into a tight situation. I don’t remember Autons when I first came to this time.” The Doctor said.
“Well they must’ve went through the time zone with us. We were followed here by the Great Intelligence.” I said.
“The Great Intelligence? No that’s not right. It’s the Nestene Consciousness that controls the Autons.” The Doctor said.
“It would seem that these two Old Ones have teamed up.” Spike said.
“It’s very rare to see two Old Ones in one place, very, very, very, very, very… very-very-very-very-VEEEERRRRYYYY-very-very-very rare.” The Doctor said.
“Well, the Intelligence has a satellite ball over at Carousel Boutique, and we were able to break it, but for some reason the Autons are still active.” I said.
“The Consciousness must’ve have taken control of a bigger satellite, something big, something round, but I’m no fool. I don’t see a Ferris wheel here.” The Doctor said.
“What about the Wheel Shop?” Spike suggested. The Doctor and I looked over up the street and saw a giant wheel on top of the wheel shop which I did not know Ponyville had.
“How long has that been there?” I asked.
“That must be where the Consciousness is.” The Doctor assumed.
“You sure about that?” I asked.
“Oh listen to yourself!” the Doctor commented in a fussy voice and then he started walking over to the wheel shop and Spike and I followed. The Doctor and us walked inside the wheel shop, and saw tons of wheels on sale. There was no sign of anything suspicious yet, but the Doctor seems sure the Consciousness is here. There were just a couple of ponies shopping, a stallion was sitting at the cash register with his hind hooves on the counter and text messaging on his iPhone, which seems pretty lame, because T-Mobile is better, even though not many others agree with me. Also there were two ceiling fans in the shop. Pretty cool, but doesn’t beat my shop. I got four ceiling fans in my shop! Anyways, the Doctor walked over to the pony behind the counter, which shouldn’t be using an iPhone, and then he took a magazine from the shelf in front of the counter and started walking towards the door, but the pony behind the counter didn’t notice. “You should be fired you know.” The Doctor said to the pony.
“Who me?” the cashier asked.
“Yes, you. I was about to walk out of here with this magazine without paying, and you’re sitting there texting on your phone? I could’ve stolen this, and nopony would’ve noticed.” The Doctor said.
“Oh, sorry. Hey, thief, don’t steal!” the cashier somewhat yelled.
“I should report to you to your manager!” the Doctor said.
“Oh please, don’t!” the cashier begged.
“My boy, you leave me no other alternative. I’m marching right in the back room right now, and I’m going to holler at your boss because the employees in this shop are so careless.” The Doctor said as he started walking to the back room.
“Oh I wouldn’t go back there if I were you.” The cashier said.
“Oh yeah like I’m scared of back rooms!” the Doctor said sarcastically.
“I’m serious, dude. Don’t go back there.” The cashier demanded.
“And I am serious too, DUDE. I will go back there.” The Doctor said as he stood in front of the door, and opened it. “AH HA!” the Doctor yelled, but inside the backroom revealed to be a room filled with bubble wrap, and the manager pony was rolling around in it, popping all the bubbles. “What the?”
“HEY! Who told you to come in without knocking!?” the manager yelled the Doctor. “Get outta here!”
“This place is a nuthouse!” the Doctor complained as he closed the door and started walking towards the front door. “This place is DEFINITALY going to go out of business by the end of the month, maybe not even! Wait until Mayor Mare hears about this. C’mon Flare, Spike.”
“Hang on; I wanna get myself some snow wheels.” I said.
“Oh c’mon, Flare, you don’t even have a carriage.” Spike reminded me.
“It’s for my trailer, dum dum.” I corrected him.
“C’mon, Flare. There’s no need to do business with these weirdos.” The Doctor said.
“Hey, it’s a hobby! Give them a break. You’re the one who barged inside the manager’s office.” I reminded him as Spike and I followed the Doctor out of the store.
“Well, it would seem the Consciousness isn’t there. I don’t understand though. The Consciousness sends a satellite to the Autons in order to control them. Where else are we going to find a giant circle?” the Doctor asked.
“There’s a cheese shop over there with a cheese wheel on top.” Spike pointed out.
“Ah, excellent! Excellent! Then that’s the place we shall look.” The Doctor said as the three of us went inside to look around, but after a few moments we walked back out. “Why hasn’t the health inspector checked that place? It’s infested with rats.”
“Oh look, a donut shop.” I pointed over to the shop with a giant round donut on top.
“Then that is our satellite!” the Doctor said as the Doctor and I were about to walk inside, but Spike grabs my tail to stop me.
“Hey! Easy on the yanking!” I complained.
“Wait for it.” Spike instructed me, and then after a few moments, the Doctor walked back out in frustration.
“You know the pony that’s obsessed with tubs of jelly, right?” the Doctor asked us.
“Yeah, the Cutie Mark Crusaders mentioned him in a song before, why?” Spike asked.
“Weeeeeeeell… you don’t wanna know what he’s doing in there with all the jelly-filled donuts.” The Doctor said in a disgusted tone.
“Oh lookie, I see a circle shop.” I pointed to a shop up ahead with just a giant black circle on top.
“Yeah, I bet you 15 bits we’re not going to be finding anything useful in that shop.” The Doctor said as the three of us walked over to the circle shop and walked inside, and just as we walked inside, the three of us get tangled on some giant squid-like tentacles. A giant squid-like creature appears in front of us and rawrs on our faces.
“Ah ha! 15 bits! Pay up, brah!” I demanded from the Doctor.
“We didn’t shake hooves, therefore the deal is not valid.” The Doctor said.
“Yeah, you’d think of any excuse not to pay.” I said mischievously. So the Consciousness started swinging us around with its tentacles, making Spike sick, and giving me a headache. The Doctor’s hooves were tied up with the Consciousness’ tentacle, but he was trying to get into his coat pocket (yeah ponies got pockets on their skins) and attempted to get his trusty sonic screwdriver out, but once he was able to, the screwdriver fell out and landed on the floor. The Consciousness started laughing evilly.
“The Doctor, we could use some he-elp.” Spike reminded him.
“I’m working on it! Calm down!” the Doctor said with an attitude. The Consciousness opened its mouth and dropped the Doctor inside it. The Doctor didn’t do anything to struggle, like he would just let the Consciousness swallow him.
“DOCTOR!” Spike and I yelled. We knew we were gonna be next for the Consciousness to eat.
“I think I’m gonna be sick.” Spike said.
“Wow, this is getting really tense! Almost as tense as the time I volunteered to clean windows for a church.” I said. A cutaway shows me cleaning the windows at a church near my old home. If you haven’t noticed, churches have lots of stain glass windows, huge, which made me really upset. “It’ll be an easy job they said. Just clean the windows they said.” I complained as I was cleaning the big circle stained glass window on top of the alter. The cutaway ends.
As the Doctor gets swung around by the Consciousness’ tentacle, he looks around the room to find a solution to the problem. He sees a couple of speakers hanging on the walls, but he doesn’t have his sonic screwdriver with him. “Flare, I need your help. Use your magic to toss my screwdriver over to me.” The Doctor instructed.
“I’m feeling a little too sick to use my magic right now, thank you very much.” I said.
“Bring me my screwdriver! I can use it on the speakers to stop the Conciousness.” The Doctor explained.
“Why use a stupid screwdriver when I got Shoop da Whoop?” I asked.
“Flare, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” The Doctor said.
“Nonsense! Time to fire my big-flank laser!” I yelled as I started charging up my horn, and fired my shoop spell on the Consciousness, but the creature was swinging me around so much, I completely missed, but the laser shot the Doctor’s screwdriver and it started flying in the air towards the Doctor, and he catches it with his mouth.
”Ooo ree’er roll yer ears.” The Doctor said.
“What did he say?” Spike asked.
“I think he said, ‘My goodness, don’t get me started on the Dutch’.” I assumed. The Doctor rolled his eyes and just used his screwdriver on the speakers. The speakers start making a very loud noise, so loud our eardrums started booming like Phil Collins was playing them. The loud noise started affecting the Consciousness; it started shaking and rumbling, and it released us from its grip. “Run!” the Doctor yelled as the three of us started running outside, away from the building. Once we ran as far from the building as we could, green goo explodes from the inside, and spreads throughout the surrounding area, which includes us. “Look, if I wanted to be slimmed on, I could’ve went on Nickelodeon.” I complained as I started wiping the goo off my body. Around us, the Autons started collapsing to the ground and stopped attacking; not necessarily in that order.
“Good. The Autons are shutting down, and nopony got hurt.” The Doctor said.
“I tripped over a rock and got an owie though.” Caramel came to us with a soar hoof and said.
“Like I said…. Nopony got hurt.” The Doctor said. “The Consciousness has been defeated.”
“But what about the Great Intelligence?” I asked.
“This land is way too peaceful for his presence. We must capture him, and then… we’ll have some delicious waffles, cause I sure am craving waffles right now.” The Doctor said.
“We still haven’t eaten you know, Flare.” Spike reminded me.
“Yeah I know Flare, he’s a swell guy!” I teased. The three of us ran over as fast as we could to Carousel Boutique to find the Intelligence, but when we got there, we saw his ponikin laying on the ground.
“He abandoned his shell.” The Doctor said.
“Shells in a nutshell.” I said.
“He could take the form of anything plastic by now! Look for anything that any plastic that seems out of the ordinary.” The Doctor instructed us as he started looking around for where the Intelligence may be.
“C’mon, Doc, you think it’s-“ I started, but the Doctor interrupts me.
“NO!” he yells.
“What?” I asked.
“You know what you said.” The Doctor said as he smirked at me.
“Allllllright…. Why would the Intelligence move? He expects us to see a moving object. He could be just blending in to the crowd.” I pointed out.
“Good point, Flare.” The Doctor said. “We should gather up all the plastic in this room, and-“
“BORING!” I yelled.
“Uh, guys. I think we’re looking in the wrong place.” Spike pointed out the window to see the Chinese container that traveled with us before rolling through the streets of Ponyville.
“AFTER THAT CHINESE TAKEOUT CONTAINER!” the Doctor yelled. As we ran outside, we saw ponies all around us cleaning the mess the Autons made, and the plastic container continued rolling down the street.
“Hop on, brah.” I said to Spike as he climbs on my back. As I started chasing the plastic container, I started climbing up market stalls, and jumping on balconies, and zip-lining through clothes lines, like in one of those town chase scenes from action movies. I hopped from a rooftop down on a stack of cardboard boxes, and stood in the middle of the street yelling, “HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, YOU PIECE OF PLASTIC!”
“Uhh, Flare, you were chasing a rat carrying provolone cheese.” Spike pointed out as a rat carrying a chunk of cheese ran pass us.
“Well, that’s pretty ironic. Everypony knows yellow swiss cheese is the more common type of cheese that you see rats carrying.” I said.
The Doctor was gaining up towards the plastic container rolling down the street, but the container was rolling too fast. The Doctor searches around as he runs and sees a cart full of apples that Big Mac is carrying across town. The Doctor takes out his screwdriver and uses it one of Big Mac’s cart wheels, the cart tilts over, and apples started pouring all over the place, surrounding the Chinese container. “Gotcha!” the Doctor said as he grabbed the plastic container, but under the container was Fluttershy’s rabbit Angel. “Wait a minute, you’re not the Intelligence.” Big Mac walks over towards the Doctor and gives him an ugly look.
“I’m terribly sorry, mate. I’m looking for an alienated Chinese takeout container. Have you seen it?” the Doctor asked.
“Nnnope.” Big Mac said angrily as he grabbed the missing wheel from his cart to attempt to put it back on. The Doctor eventually saw the plastic container with the Intelligence rolling inside the Everfree Forest. Spike and I caught up with the Doctor.
“Did you find him?” Spike asked.
“He went inside there.” The Doctor pointed out.
“Oh no! Not the Everfree Forest!” Spike said frighteningly.
“Oh yes, the Everfree Forest!” I said excitedly.
“You’re not scared?” Spike asked.
“Oh yeah I’m scared of going in there, but at the same time excited! We may witness Nightmare Moon getting defeated after all!” I said excitedly.
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that!” Spike said.
“C’mon! We gotta catch up with it!” the Doctor said. So we chased the plastic container through the Everfree Forest, down a slippery cliff, passed a sleeping manticore, and through a bunch of trees fairly close together. When we got to a river we saw a sea serpent admiring himself through a mirror. Ironically, the plastic container was on the other side of the river.
“Oh c’mon! How is that possible?” I asked.
“Oh hello there!” the sea serpent said to us.
“Nice mustache.” I said.
“Oh thank you!” the serpent said. “A friend gave it to me!”
“It looks…. Amazing!” Spike said in a romantic tone.
“Judging by your tone, you seem to show affection towards this sea serpent’s mustache doesn’t even match either side.” The Doctor said.
“Well! It looks like someone doesn’t know fashion when he sees one.” The serpent said insultingly.
“Anyways, we’re going after that plastic container on the other side of the river. Can you help us through?” I asked.
“I can’t just help you without you doing something nice for me first.” The serpent said.
“Can’t we just swim through?” Spike asked.
“You think our microwave time machine is gonna survive that water? Besides, we’re still missing fine china.” I reminded him.
“Sir, if you don’t let us through, the fate of Equestria will hang in the balance.” The Doctor said.
“Not with that attitude, honey.” The serpent said.
“Please then?” the Doctor asked.
“Oh you think that’s gonna change anything, sweetheart? If you wanna come through you should do something for me first.” The serpent said.
“Just him, or all of us?” I asked.
“All of you. Show me something… artistic. Something with pizzazz!” the serpent requested.
“If its art you want, its art you’ll get! HIT IT!” I yelled. A couple of top hats and canes were tossed towards Spike and I by an unknown source, and we started to sing and dance, a song that we made up. The type of music in this song is swinging music, in case you were concerned, the type of music not many use anymore. It’s partially dead; it’s sad really.
“We’re ordinary, extra ordinary, individual guys…” Spike and I started. “We got style and determination, that’s the explanation! We are leet and so badflank, and we have you to thaaaaaaank! All you need to do is one thing: please please please remember uuuuuuus! We’re ordinary, extra ordinary, individual guys…”
“If you just play your ca-ards right, you can put up any fi-yi-yight!” Spike sang as he was boxing a kangaroo, but lost obviously.
“You can make the sunshine every day, just like Charlie Daaaaaay!” I sang.
“But all you need to do is one thing: please please please remember uuuuus!” Spike and I both sang.
“Oh I just got your joke, you’re talking about the show Its Always Sunny in Fillydelphia, right?” Spike asked.
“Righty-o, buddy-o!” I said.
“If you remember us, you can achieve great things…” we both continued.
“Like drinking the most pool water on a cruise ship, or even piercing your liiiiiip.” I sang with a piercing lip and drinking pool water.
“Or maybe spend three months in a row, learning how to play the BANJO!” Spike sang as he plays the banjo.
“You can even trrrrrry, land on a mattress from miles hiiiiiiiiigh…!” I sang.
“But the only way you can do that, is if you grab a cane and top haaaaaaat, and sing-“ we both sang. “We’re ordinary, extra ordinary, individual brahs!”
“No two of us are alike at all, so haters, you don’t make sense at aaaaaall.” Spike sang.
“If you listen to really wanna be like me, then listen carefullyyyyyyyy!” I sang. “Cause all you need to do…”
“Don’t be such a poo…” Spike sang.
“Be like Pikachu…” I sang.
“Maybe Winnie the Pooh…” Spike sang.
“It would be nice…” I sang.
“Really cold as ice…” Spike sang.
“Rich as Monopoly…” I sang.
“You can count to three…” Spike sang.
“Ha ha ha ha…” I sang.
“Bla bla bla bla…” Spike sang.
“Another one rides the bus…” I sang.
“Be just like uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus…” Spike sang.
“Because if there’s one thing you should do, we got one thing to say to yoooooou…” we sang quietly and slowly without any instruments in the background until we got upbeat again in the next part. “AAAAAAAALL YOU NEED TO DOOOOOOOOOOOO, IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS, REMEMBER UUUUUUUUUUUUS- please remember us! Please remember us! Please remember us!” the instruments stopped again. “All you need to do is remember us!”
“LAWL REMEMBER!” I yelled as the song ends there.
"Wonderful! Simply wonderful!" he cried in cheer and clapped his hands.. "That was so entertaining! I mean I couldn’t really get the lyrics a bit, and your voices were a little…. Bland, but that song was simply wonderful! Congratulations, sweethearts! Come on through! But be careful not to slip.” the sea serpent said as he placed his head down at the water so we can use his body as a bridge to get to the other side of the river.
“Thanks, brah! Happy face!” I said as Spike and I hopped on his back and crossed to the other side of the river, but once the Doctor got on, and once we got off, the serpent went back up and the Doctor fell into the water.
“HEY!” the Doctor yelled.
“You didn’t sing once.” The serpent said.
“I don’t sing, I just dance.” The Doctor said.
“You’re gonna have to just swim across, sweetheart. Cheerio!” the serpent said as he swims away. The Doctor swam across the river, and we helped him up to land again.
“Let’s go, the Intelligence has to be over at those ruins over there.” The Doctor pointed to the old castle ruins in front of us, across the rickety bridge.
“Look, there’s Twilight’s friends standing outside the castle! We still have time!” Spike pointed out.
“And there’s the Intelligence! What does he think he’s doing?” the Doctor asked.
“Well, this is when Twilight and the others first discover the Elements of Harmony, which they used to defeat Nightmare Moon.” Spike said.
“The Elements of Harmony, but… they’re not plastic.” Spike said.
“Wait, are we talking about the Intelligence or the Consciousness?” I asked.
“Oh no, the Consciousness is gone, it’s just the Intelligence left.” The Doctor said.
“Well, you go ahead and deal with the Intelligence, Spike and I are gonna witness Nightmare Moon’s defeat, and then we’ll find some fine china, and return home in a jiffy!” I said.
“You know, I may not be able to catch the Intelligence alone.” The Doctor said.
“What do you have to worry about? You’re the Doctor! You can handle anything! Winky face!” I corrected him.
“I normally travel with a companion though. As you can see, I don’t have one right now.” The Doctor said.
“What about Derpy?” Spike asked.
“Nothing lasts forever.” The Doctor said.
“But the main reason why we’re here is to see Nightmare Moon get defeated by the Elements of Harmony!” I complained.
“But the entire fate of Equestria lies in the balance! I’ll need your help in order to catch the Intelligence!” the Doctor said.
“Flare, we don’t have time for this. The ponies are running towards that tower over there. My guess is that we don’t have time to lose in order to witness Nightmare Moon’s defeat!” Spike pointed out.
“Flare… please!” the Doctor begged.
“Flare… please!” Spike begged.
“Both of you stop! I hate choosing! I was never good at it! If I do one thing, I’ll miss out on something else! Why must life have decisions!?” I yelled.
“Flare, do this for your bro Spike!” Spike begged.
“Flare, Equestria’s fate is at risk! Do the right thing!” the Doctor begged.
“SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!” I yelled. “I’m thinking!”
“There’s no time to think!” the Doctor said.
“You’re right. There is no time to think, and my decision stands.” I said.
“What’s your decision?” Spike asked.
“I choose both!” I said as I took out my microwave time machine, and started running towards the Intelligence. I opened the microwave, and I used my magic to levitate the microwave towards the Chinese container, and sat it down right on top of it. “Stand back! This is gonna get big! Shoop da whoooooop!” I yelled as I fired my shoop spell on the microwave with the Great Intelligence inside it, and the microwave time machine explodes, destroying the time machine itself as well as the Chinese container inside it.
“DUDE!” Spike yelled.
“Now, we go watch Nightmare Moon get defeated!” I said as I levitated Spike off the ground and onto my back. “FOR GREAT EQUESTRIA!” I yelled as I start running to the tower where the Mane Six are about to use the Elements of Harmony to defeat Nightmare Moon.
"You think you can destroy The Elements of Harmony just like that? Well, you're wrong, because the spirits of the Elements of Harmony are right here!” Twilight started. Spike and I watched the entire thing from the doorway, but it was so dark, nopony could see us, not even the DHX cameras that were in there could see us. Spike and I were very impressed and very entertained for the moment. Princess Luna really looked different then than she does now. Maybe for being in the moon so long her magic drained a bit, causing her mane not to flow like her sister’s.
Once we finished, and the sun was risen, and the Mane Six and the princesses were on their way back to Ponyville, Spike and I met up with the Doctor back at the Elements chamber down below. “Well, Flare Gun, I must say, I am quite impressed with your performance.” The Doctor said.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t want to let my friends OR Equestria down.” I said.
“But it cost us the time machine, so it looks like we’ll have to stay here a little longer until we can find another microwave, as well as the ingredients to get it functioning again.” Spike said.
“But it’s not possible for a microwave to be a time machine with the ingredients you chose. It just creates a chain reaction and explodes.” The Doctor corrected us.
“So… this is all a dream, right? We gone unconscious after the explosion?” I asked.
“Oh no, this is very much real, my friend.” The Doctor said.
“Are you saying that cause it’s true, is that what death is like?” I asked.
The Doctor sighs and said, “Here. For helping me save Equestria, how about I’ll give you two a ride home? My treat!” the Doctor offers.
“Oh that’s right, you’re a time traveler! LAWL! Silly me! I completely forgot about that!” I laughed. The Doctor rolled his eyes, and then we started following him back to Ponyville, where his TARDIS is.
"Alright! Can’t wait to head back home! I'm in the mood for some Diablo 3." Spike said excitedly.
“Yep! This was really an epic adventure, Spike! Almost as leet as when I trolled my math tutor!” I said.
A cutaway shows younger me being tutored by one of the math tutors at my school. “Ok, Flare, if you have 10 chocolate cakes, and someone asks for 2, how many cakes do you have left?” my tutor asked.
“10.” I said.
“Ok, if someone forcibly takes 2 of your cakes, how many would you have left then?” my tutor asked.
“10, plus a dead body.” I said. The cutaway ends.
“But I gotta say, I had a great time here, despite the flaws we made.” I said.
“What WE made?” Spike asked.
“Yeah WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” I said as I leaned close to Spike’s face.
“Alright you two; head on in! Let’s the make the return to present day Ponyville!” the Doctor said as Spike and I walked inside the TARDIS. The Doctor drops us off back in present day Ponyville, and Spike and I exit his TARDIS.
“Thanks, Doctor! I really appreciate the lift!” I said.
“Oh it was no problem at all. Nice having some temporary companions every now and again. Maybe you two can come by again someday.” The Doctor suggested.
“That sounds awesome!” Spike said.
“Alright! We’ll let you know!” I said.
“Now if you excuse me, it’s tea time!” the Doctor said as he closes his TARDIS door and his TARDIS teleports away.
“Hey, dude, thanks for showing me Nightmare Moon’s defeat.” Spike said.
“No problemo, brah! Can’t wait to turn in our microwave time machine so we can make the top 20 of the most stupidest things!” I said.
“Good luck with that!” Spike said as he walked away.
"Oh hey, Flare!" Merry May said as her, Golden Harvest, and Cloud Kicker walked up to me.
“What’s up?” Cloud Kicker asked.
"You mean, box number one?" I asked.
"No I mean Flare. How do you know about Box number one?" she asked.
“Shall I tell you the time again when I was Jeff Gorspeed’s crew chief?” I asked as I placed the box disguise from the past on my head.
"So you're box number one?" Golden Harvest asked. "I thought there was something familiar about you."
“Yeah I get that a lot, or I don’t. I have no idea sometimes.” I said. “Anyways, let me tell you girls the story on how Spike and I went back in time to see the Summer Sun Celebration, and how we were there to witness the defeat of Nightmare Moon, AND two Great Old Ones, and how I sang to a sea serpent, and how I made a joke about the Big Comfy Couch show!”
“And how you caused a pair of ducks!” one of the ducks from the past said.
“You know, I used to play an old video game all about shooting ducks.” I said to the duck.
“Whoa! That is so uncalled for!” the duck freaked out.
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