Sweet and Sour Flare - Part 1
The skies were gray over Ponyville. Smoke came out from a couple of houses, and all the ponies in town were going mad. Screaming, throwing objects around, breaking windows. Sugarcube Corner was all boarded up, and the ponies outside were trying to get inside. The Cakes were inside with their babies. Mrs. Cakes was holding the Cake babies while they cried on her.
"Why won't they go away?" Mrs. Cake freaked out.
"The whole towns gone mad! There is no more food!" Mr. Cake said.
"Why couldn't we just leave while we had the chance?" Mrs. Cakes asked with tears on her eyes.
Mr. Cakes gave his wife a hug and he said, "Honey, if this is it, I wanted to let you know that I always...... thought having foals was a terrible idea. Why did we have to have kids?" The Cake babies stopped crying and looked at him angrily, and then they threw their diapers on his face.
Outside, some of the ponies were rioting at town hall. Mayor Mare was in front of city hall, all dirty and dusty and had a messed up mane like everyone else in town. She started to speak. "Please, Ponyville! We must not panic!" she cried. "The shortage of food is nothing to riot about. Let's just make do for what we have!"
"The Cakes at Sugarcube Corner won't let us in!" Cloudchaser cried out.
"Taco Shack has been burned to the ground!" Flitter cried out.
"All the trees in Sweet Apple Acres have died!" Skyblaze cried out.
"There are no more muffins!" Derpy cried out.
"We're all gonna starve at this rate!" Lucky Clover cried out. Just then everypony starts arguing with each other.
The mayor was getting really nervous. "Everypony, please calm down!" she cried. "We must rely on hope. It's not going to help us if we go mad!"
"Wait!" Sea Swirl cried out. "I think the Mayor is hogging all the food in city hall!" All of Ponyville gasped and started ranted at the mayor.
"I am not hogging anything in city hall!" the mayor yelled.
"GET THE MAYOR!" Merry May yelled.
The Mayor was very scared as everypony was starting to angrily attack her, but then the mayor spotted something in the distance. "WAIT, everypony! Look!" The mayor pointed to a limo carriage drive towards city hall. Red Engineer and Aquatic Armor were pulling the carriage. Crystal Iceblast was driving it. She hopped off the carriage limo and opened the door. Blaze Goldheart and Psyche Illusion both walked out of the limo. They were wearing black suits and sunglasses, like they were secret agents.
"Step aside everypony. We know of somepony who can help." Blaze said.
"Please put your hooves together for the leetest, most awesome possum pony in town. Crimson Flare Gun!" Psyche pointed to the limo. He and Blaze moved out of the way, and then I stepped out of the limo, wearing sunglasses. I lowered my sunglasses slightly to reveal my eyes and I start looking at everypony with a mischievous look. Everypony looked at me as I started walking slowly towards the crowd. The crowd all moved out of my way as I walked over to the mayor. The mayor looked at me nervously. I stared at her, and then took off his sunglasses. I turned towards the crowd and smiled.
"L-O-L!" I said. "Sup brahs? This is certainly an emergency situation here. Ex dee, but I have to ask you all a question. Are you all ready for my question because I'm only gonna say this once. Maybe twice if you ask me nicely." I then stomped my hoof on the ground, and then Crystal gave me a bottle of water and I drank it. The crowd just stared at me in concern. I opened my mouth and I was just about to say something, and the crowd paid attention, but all I did was just take out a piece of gum from my vest pocket and place it in my mouth. I started chewing, and I chewed, and then I blew a bubble. Somepony then threw a crumbled piece of paper at me.
"GET ON WITH IT!" the pony complained.
"DON'T RUSH ME!" I yelled. "Kay kay. You all ready for my question? Because I'm only gonna say this...."
"I BELIEVE WE WENT THROUGH THIS! JUST SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY!" the pony yelled.
"My question is....." I was silent for a second, then I smiled. "Smiley face. WHHHHOOOOOO'S HUNGRY?!" The pony folk all cheered for me. Cherry Berry was about to run to me and grab me, but Psyche came in, blocked her way, and tazed her.
"Don't worry, sir. Nopony will touch you while we're around." Psyche said.
“Shut up, Psyche.” I said as I glared at him.
“Very good, sir.” Psyche nodded.
"Excellent work, brah! You deserve a cookie!" I gave Psyche a nice big delicious chocolate chip cookie as a tip.
"Thank you, sir." Psyche said. "I'm also as boring as usual.
"You sure are, my friend! You sure are.” I nodded. I then faced the crowd and yelled, "EVERYPONY FOLLOW ME! TO FLARE'S PIZZA PARLOR!" The ponies all cheered for me and they all began to follow me to my shop. In case anypony was to lay physical contact on me, Blaze and Psyche taze them. Eventually, we all arrived just outside my shop. "Brahs and sistas, you're about to witness what makes my pizza, the best in Equestria!" I turned towards the door, I took out my key, I wiped my key on my vest making sure it was clean enough for the door, I then place the key into the slot, turned it, and took it out. It was the wrong key so I had to start over. I took out another key, wiped it, inserted into the slot and took it out. Wrong key again. I took out yet another key, wiped it on my vest and stopped. “Hang on these are Blaze’s keys. Here you go, man.” I said as I gave them back to him.
“Wait, you’re the one that took my keys?!” Blaze yelled. “I couldn’t leave the house for a whole day because of it!” So I took my actual keys, and I inserted them into the slot. The door unlocks, and everypony begins to gasp. I opened the door, went inside, and everypony began to follow me, until Psyche and Blaze blocked the door.
"Nopony is allowed to see Flare cook." Blaze said.
"Awww." the pony crowd whined.
"But who wants to see how to build a sentry?" Engie asked as he bursts out in front of the crowd with his wrench, and toolbox. “Ok first off, before ya build a sentry, ya need to make sure you’re an engineer class. If you’re the wrong class, you’re goin’ to have a terrible time. Especially if you were a useless class like the soldier.”
Once I walked inside, I called out for my employees - Bon Bon, Lyra, and Derpy. "TEN HUT!" I yelled as two of my employees went into position and saluted. Derpy fell over but she went back up and saluted.
“Wait, wasn’t I just outside?” Derpy asked.
"Soldiers, Ponyville has gone hungry." I started while pasing back and forth. "And it's our duty to give them what they want. With a small price of course. But anyways, it's time to fill in the biggest orders our pizza shop has ever made! As long as the ponies have money in their pockets, I will not stop, I will not rest, I will not play a single second on Skyrim until all those ponies are 100% satisfied! Bon Bon, register!"
“Unless they recently got into a divorce, because then they’d have a really terrible time.” Lyra said.
“BON BON, REGISTER!” I demanded.
"YES, BOSSMAN!” Bonnie yelled as she does a backflip over the counter and then she bucks the register, opening it up and making sure all the money was in there. She then salutes to me again.
"LYRA, COOKING!" I yelled.
"YOU GOT IT!" Lyra yelled as she back flips into the kitchen, rolls around, uses her wicket spy moves to take out all of the ingredients, chop them up with her hooves and they all align nicely on the counter. “I have no idea if that was kung-fu or karate.”
“It was Tae Kwan Do.” Bonnie said.
“I dunno the difference. They all look the same.” Lyra said. “Hey which of those classes allows kicking downstairs?”
"DERPY, ENTERTAINMENT!" I yelled.
"YES, SIR!" Derpy yelled as she does nothing but tilt over and land on her face.
"Excellent work!" I said. “Now, I must take my position!” I then walk into my office, open up the cabinet, and I take a good look at my apron and chef hat. I put them on, grabbed my pizza spatula, and then I start spinning it around and doing tricks with it like it was spear that warriors use in practice. "LET'S DO THIS THANG!" I yelled mischievously. I then take out my walkie talkie and said, "Psyche? Blaze? Let them in! It's time to make pizzas, and chew bubblegum! Also the gum that’s in my mouth has lost its flavor. I’ll need another one.”
"Roger that." Blaze said as he and Psyche move aside and then the pony crowd runs inside and lines up at the register.
“What do I need to do to get some food in my system? Anything!” the pony in the front of the line beggingly asked.
“You just have to answer one question….” Bonnie said as the screen squeezes and smirks to Bonnie’s eyes like in an action movie. “May I take your order?”
Lyra peeks out into the dining room from the kitchen, and she said, "Flare, it's a full house out there!"
"No, it's a full restaurant, get your facts straight, sista!” I reminded her. “Now help me out over here. It’s nelly time!”
“Also didn’t Blaze say you didn't want to be watched cooking, that’s why you wouldn’t let anypony in? Now you allowed everypony in and you haven’t started yet.” Lyra pointed out.
“It’s called savoring the moment, Lyra. It’s also called a common error. Every show has one.” I said. “Now c’mon, Lyra. I need a hand!”
“I wouldn’t even give you one even if I had one.” Lyra teased as she continued working.
So Lyra and I continued cooking in the kitchen, making sure everything's perfect. The ponies outside were waiting. Their tummies were twitching and their eyes were growling…… wait a minute I think I said that backwards. Anyways, Lyra and I were cutting veggies, stirring in pots, sprinkling cheese, spicing it up with some spices, giving it a taste every now and again and using the same spoons we put our mouths in back into the pot without even washing it, and after a few minutes….
"Now for the finishing touches." I said as I take out a pair of tweezers, open up a container and then I carefully put the tweezers inside, and I take out some mushrooms. "Shrooms. Now, we must carefully....." I slowly and carefully moved the mushrooms from the container and careful began to place them on the pizza. Sweat began to pour down my face.
“Careful, Flare. Careful, Flare! Flare, careful!” Lyra started to freak out. “Careful, Flare! Careful, Flare! CAREFUL FLAAAAAAAARE!”
“I CAN’T DO IT WITH YOU YELLING!” I yelled at her. “Also I already did it.”
“Oh… now then. Let’s give the people what they want!” Lyra said.
Just then, I kicked my kitchen door opened. Everypony gasped. I just stood there, glaring at everypony. I then used my unicorn magic to take all the dishes from out of the kitchen. "Order up! Happy face!” I said with a smile. All the dishes Lyra and I made went to all the tables. Everypony cheered and started gobbling up their food.
“WOO! Do the flop!” Derpy yelled out, still lying face first on the floor but she waved her hooves in the air.
So I watched everypony eat. Once they were all finished, everypony burped all at once, and then everything went silent. "So what did you all think?" I asked. Nopony said anything, but then a few seconds later, everypony cheered. They all went up to me to pick me up and cheer. “Please refrain from picking me up. All your hooves are dirty from eating.” I then shook my head. “Ah who am I kidding? At least now I know I’m not that fat.”
"THREE CHEERS FOR THE BEST PIZZA CHEF EVER!" everypony cried. "HIP-HIP! HORRAY! HIP-HIP, HORRAY! HIP-HIP, GOOD MORNING PONYVILLE!"
“What did you brahs say?” I asked.
"GOOD MORNING, PONYVILLE! IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP!" Vinyl Scratch cried out, while standing near the front door.
"Vinyl? What are you talking about?" I asked.
"It's time to get outta bed, everypony because the sun is shining, and we're ready to start a new day!" Vinyl cried out in excitement. Looks like all this time it was all a dream because that moment, I was waking up on my bed and Vinyl was talking through my clock radio. "Time to grab those bits, and I hope you're hungry because my good friend Flare Gun is having a big pizza sale at his pizza parlor in Ponyville. So get on up, and witness the best pizza in Equestria!"
“Aww, I don’t wanna go to Flare’s Pizza Parlor!” I whined. “Five more minutes!”
“This pony is not known for being late.” Vinyl said on the radio.
“Yeah well tell him that.” I said as I closed my eyes.
“FLARE GET YOUR FLANK OUTTA BED!” Vinyl yelled which scared the living… wait why is there something living in side of me? Anyways, I woke up and turned off the radio.
“Ok I’m up! I can’t believe I paid her to yell at me through the radio! Well at least things worked out with her and she has her radio station back, now… why did I need that wake-up call again?” I asked myself. “Now what was it? Oh nevermind, I’m not fooling anyone. Might as well drop the act and be excited.” So I smiled and I jumped out of bed excitedly. “YIPPIE! I feel so happy face right now! It is such a beautiful day outside! Time to make pizzas, and spread the lulz! Because today isn't going to be any ordinary day, I'll tell ya that much, brah!" I then jumped in front of my fish tank and yelled, "HI FISHIES!"
"WHOA!" Rainbow yelled as he bumps his head on the tank flitter. "OW! Does he have to do that?"
"I like it when he does that!" Darrel said excitedly.
"Morning, Darrel, Pearl, Rainbow, Dorthey, Yoyo, and… the fish that chases his reflection! Guess what? I had that dream again, I had the dream that I had to best pizza shop in all of Equestria!” I said. “Oh wait, that’s no dream because it’s true! It’s a simple fact, and anypony’s opinions on that otherwise doesn’t matter! Wow, I sound like a religious guy.”
"Aww man, I’ve always wanted to try some of Flare’s pizza, but then it would free me from this jail and I’d destroy the whole island.” Yoyo said.
"I think that’s Lego Island, Yoyo.” Pearl reminded him.
“What island?” Yoyo asked.
"RAINBOW! RAINBOW!" Darrel yelled out excitedly as he started pushing Rainbow from below him.
"What?" Rainbow sighed and asked.
"GET UP, GET UP! He's about to feed us!" Darrel said excitedly.
"I know, Darrel. I know. I'm already up, so stop-STOP PUSHING ME!" Rainbow yelled. "Dorthey? Help!" Dorthey begins to chase Darrel away from Rainbow.
"Whoa, Dorthey!" Darrel said in an insulted tone as he was swimming away. "Jeez, if you wanted me to move, you could've just asked."
"The great Rainbow needs his space." Dorthey said.
"The 'great' Rainbow? HA! Now that's a laugh." Piddles said excitedly.
"Well he is the leader of the tank, Piddles." Dorthey said. "So how about you go chase your reflection again?"
"It's not a reflection for the last time! It's another fish that's mimicking my every move!" Piddles corrected her. Piddles starts looking at the glass and he sees his reflection again and starts chasing it. "HEY! This is my tank! This tank ain't big enough for the two of us!"
"Alright fishies, time for breakfast!" I said as I sprinkled some of the fish food in the tank.
"FOOD!" Dorthey and Yoyo yelled out in excitement. Dorthey swims up to the top and catches the food, but splashes me in the process.
“EY! Dorthey!” I chuckled. "You know something, brahs? My life here compared to my life in Mareami has been very interesting!” I went over to the lavatory and turned on the shower and stepped inside, but I didn’t continue talking until I stepped in. "I mean, back when I was living in Mareami, I had no friends, except for you guys and the Mare in the Moon and my sister. I've gone to the beach all the time at night to talk to the Mare. Tell her my secrets, some video game walkthroughts, or just to chat.”
“Like the time he talked to her from the bedroom about those weird ‘are you a pony’ captchas every time he registers for a new account on a website.” Yoyo said.
A cutaway shows one of those ‘are you a human’ captchas. You know the ones I’m talking about? You copy a blurry text making sure you’re not a bot? Well this one I’m thinking of says ‘Lord Emomache’. A pony in a tuxedo and a hat, a mustache, and he looked emo looked at the captcha and said, “Oh my dear fellow, is life worth living? I couldn’t possibly care less if the world gets destroyed tomorrow because we’re all just a weak species, my good chap.” The pony then takes out a knife, puts a lemon on his arm, cuts the lemon, and squeezes the lemon in his tea and the scars on his arm, and then he begins to scream in pain and drink his tea. The cutaway ends.
“But other than that, my life was terrible!" I continued as I turned off the shower and dried off. I stepped out, wrapped a towel around my waist (for no apparent reason), then I turned on the blow dryer and began drying my mane. "But after I moved to Ponyville, my life was fine and dandy! I met Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, AppleJack, Blaze Goldheart, Psyche Illusion, Engineer, Crystal Iceblast, Aquatic Armor....." I continued saying the names of all my friends as I was putting on his blue vest and black sneakers while brushing my teeth, and even when I was eating my breakfast. “Bon Bon, Lyra, Merry May, Celestia, Luna, Big Mac, Cheerilee, Granny Smith, Zecora, the Cakes, Derpy, Keeif, Syebaze, Fitfire…” Yeah you can see that when I said those last three names was when I was brushing my teeth.
"How much longer is he gonna say the names of his friends for the 19th time?" Pearl complained.
"Until the last breath escapes from his happy, jibberish mouth.” Dorthey said.
"And the best part is, I have a great job, a great home, a great life, nothing can ruin my time here! Nothing!" I said. "I even got the Noble Six to keep my company, and let's not forget about how friendly all the pony folk are here, compared to the ones in Mareami. And let's not forget all the singing. I got pretty used to the life around here. I mean, at first I used to wonder what friendship could be..... buuuuuuut…”
“If he says ‘arrow to the knee’ I’m gonna throw a rock at him.” Yoyo said with a rock on his fin.
“But then I really felt like I needed to pee!” I said as I started tingling.
“Close enough.” Yoyo said as he threw the rock at me anyway but missed. “D’OH, I MISSED!”
"Oh, good heavens, would you look at the time!" I said as I looked at my watch that had no numbers on it, but instead had something else – one hour has ‘ripping off classic rock songs’ and the other hour just covered the rest of the clock saying ‘everything else’. Just then, the beginning of Peace of Mine by the group Boston started playing in the background. "Well fishies, I wish I could stay and hang out with those little things that mean everything to me, but I have to get to work!" I put on my satchel and ran to the door and opened it. "And fishies, anything possible, as long as you have a Peace of Mind!" I then walked outside and closed the door behind me.
"Peace of mind? What did he mean about that?" Pearl asked.
"He's about to sing a song on the way to work, duh!" Rainbow said.
"I like to sing!" Darrel said excitedly.
"Don't you start with it." Dorthey complained.
"Well I hope he doesn't come home too late to feed us." Yoyo said.
"HEY, GET BACK HERE! I'M NOT THROUGH WITH YOU YET!" Piddles yelled at his reflection while chasing it.
So I started skipping across town and started singing. "Now if you're feelin kinda low 'bout the dues you've been paying. Future's coming much too sloooow." I then jumped in front of a few ponies in front of a market stall. "And if you wanna run but somehow you just keep on stayin'. Can't decide on which way to goooo-whoa! YEAH YEAH YEAH!" While I said the ‘yeah’ part, my facial expression looked pretty similar to Patrick Star’s ‘leedle-leedle-lee’. "I understand about indecision." While I said 'indecision' the ponies from the market stall sang with him, then started 'Ooooooo'ing while I continued. "But I don't care if I get behind. Ponies livin in competition. All I want is to have my peace of mind." I tapped my forehead with my front right hoof when I said 'mind', but then I started to freak out, "AAAH DIRT ON MY FOREHEAD!” But I didn’t let it bother me too much as I continued the rip-off song, “YEEEAAAH!" I grabbed an apple from a stall with my tail, and ate it. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I then spit the apple out into the garbage because I don’t like apples by themselves that much. Besides, I think it was going to choke me if I continued hoping around and singing with it my mouth.
I continued to trot across town with some ponies following me during the song, which made feel a little uncomfortable. Why are they following me? I had to lose them, so I spotted a ladder and started climbing it to the roof. "Now you're climbin to the top of the company ladder, hope it doesn't take too lo-ong." I sang. The ponies following me started climbing the ladder behind me. I gave them an evil look and kicked the ladder down, and it started falling. "Can'tcha you see there'll come a day when it won't matter." I continued as I jumped off the roof and saw them hurt on the ground, and then I gave them some free garlic rolls. "Come a day when you'll be goooone, oooooon." I then trotted away and appeared in the middle of town square with a spotlight over me, along with the pony chorus surrounding me. "I understand about indecision, but I don't care if I get behind. Ponies livin in competition." I sang as pegasi were pushing dark clouds over the sky, leaving the sunlight as a spotlight on me. "All I want is to have my peace of miiiiiii-ind.” I sang while placing one of my hooves around Big Mac, whom was next to me.
"Eeeyup." Big Mac nodded.
I then started running, dancing, and jumping on objects and stalls across towns, because…. That’s what musicals are like. It’s so weird, yet it feels so right. "Take a look ahead!" I sang while I was on top of a stall with my hoof over my eyes. "Take a look ahead! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" I sang while swinging on a light post. "Ooo!" I cried out like Michael Jackson.
While the instrumental part of the music came on, I felt that I needed to put a stop to this. “Stop following me!” I demanded from everypony who was following me and were my background singers. “It’s creepy and I don’t have any money for you! Go rob Blaze! He’s rich!” So they stopped following me. While the instrumental was continuing, I continued about my business, but when I saw Cheerliee trying to fill a water can with water using her hose, the hose didn't work. Cheerlie was sad, but the Mane Six and the Noble Six taught me too much for me to just walk away, so I went over to her water can and used my water squirter spell to fill the water can right up. Cheerilee smiled at me and waved as I trotted off. As the instrumental continued, I suddenly heard a 'meow' on the tree in front of me, it was Opal, Rarity's cat stuck on the tree. I aimed my horn at Opal, and then I shot a blast from my horn, and Opal started falling. I then caught Opal with my front hooves as I stood on my hind-hooves with my eyes closed, and then I set her down and patted her on the head. As I trotted away, Opal's fur got all spiked up from my laser blast. As I continued trotting to work, I saw Snips and Snails smiling at me, carrying a target.
“Mr. Flare Gun, do the thing!” Snails requested.
“Yeah! Do the giant laser thing!” Snips said.
I normally wouldn’t in case of emergencies, but we’re in an alley and it’s not like I’m going to use it anytime soon. "IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR!" I yelled as my horn started to glow, but the hornsaber activated. I shook my head real fast and deactivated it. My horn glowed again, but instead I shot a flare at the target. Snips and Snails just looked at each other, then back at me, like in one of those Old Spice commericals. I then shook my head fast again, but that kinda made me dizzy, but for those little nerdy colts, I had to do this. My horn faced the target, my horn started glowing again, and I was grunting and sweating while trying to get my SHOOP DA WHOOP spell working. Wow, this is a long instrumental. Anyways, I eventually fired my laser on the target, and the target got completely destroyed, and Snips and Snails had black ash all over them from the blast. Then they cheered. “Now that’s what I’m talking about! Praise the Wizards!” I yelled out in excitement. I eventually started back flipping all the way to my shop, which was pretty close by. Lyra was holding the door opened for me. Now I was backflipping all the way to my kitchen. I flipped passed Bonnie who was carrying my apron and hat. I grabbed them as I continued backflipping over to the kitchen where Lyra was holding the door for me. “I switched places.” Lyra said as he smirked at…. you. When I got to the kitchen, I took off the string that was on my back, causing me to blackflip all the way here. What? You think I can actually do those blackflips? I can’t even do a summer-saw!
Just then I continued singing as I was putting a pizza in the oven. "Now everypony's got advice they just keep on givin." I then spun my pizza spatula and then leaned it close to my face, and sang close to it like a microphone. "Doesn't mean too much to me."
Just then, a bunch of ponies popped out of my kitchen at random places including the oven, window, back door, fridge, and even the vent thing on top of the oven, and they all sang, "Lots of ponies out to make-believe they're livin'. Can't decide who they should be. WHOA-OH-OH-OOOOH!"
“HEY! Get out of my kitchen!” I demanded. I then suddenly walked out of the kitchen carrying dishes of food for everypony with my unicorn magic, and placed them on the tables as I continued singing and they were the chorus. "I understand about indecision., but I don't care if I get behind. Ponies livin' in competition. All I want is to have my peace of mind." While I said 'peace of mind', I was holding a pizza shaped like a brain with a sign that said 'pizza mind'. As the customers were eating their food, and I was dancing, spinning, and jumping around I continued. "Take a look ahead!" I sang while pointing to Rose’s head. "Take a look ahead!" I sang while pointing a picture of Princess Luna's head. "Look a-heeeeaaaaaaaaaad!" I sang while holding a plastic pony head as the screen was zooming away from me and my shop as everypony was ‘ooo-ooo’ing.
Just then we quickly zoom back into my shop as Engie was playing an electric guitar and Crystal was on the drums, and I was dancing (in a silly way) on stage. While the ending instrumental of the song was playing, a shockwave of some sort swoops by my shop, but we don’t notice it. At Rarity's shop, Rarity was making a dress. While she was getting more of her thread, the shockwave swoops by her shop and she disappears. Sweetie Belle was actually walking downstairs for some particular reason, but she witnessed Rarity disappeared. She started to freak out. At Sweet Apple Arces, AppleJack just bucked some apples down from a tree and they fell on buckets, and then she kicked another tree, but just as that happened, AppleJack disappears. Apple Bloom saw it happen, so she started running. Over at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie was putting frosting on a cake, and when Pinkie was about to go get a cherry to put on top of it, she herself disappeared. “Hey where did my identical twin cousin go?” Pinkie asked as she walked back into the kitchen with a cake cutter. Just then, the shockwave reverses back to Sugarcube Corner, drops off the duplicate of Pinkie back into the kitchen, and then takes the real Pinkie and swoops off.
Over at Fluttershy’s cottage, Fluttershy was brushing Angel's hair. Also, do you realize the ending instrumental to Peace of Mind is still going on? It’s going to continue until all of the Mane Six disapp- ooh! No, too early! Spoilers! Anyways, as Angel’s hair was being brushed, his brush landed on top of his head. Angel started rubbing his head and wondering why Fluttershy dropped the brush on his head, but when he looked back, she was gone. Angel's eye twitched and then he fainted. Rainbow Dash and her husband Blaze were flying in the sky really fast, because Blaze owed her a flight after what happened at the gala, but while Blaze had his eyes closed, Rainbow disappeared. Blaze's eyes opened and he didn't see her there. He was really confused, until he saw the shockwave, and he heard Rainbow yell out his name as she was disappearing. At Twilight’s house, she was writing a note and reading a book and doing magic all at the same time (wow and they call me OP). As she was doing that, Spike came in to check on her and she disappeared right in front of him. Spike gasped and dropped all the books he was carrying, which landed on one of his feet and it really hurt him. He started hoping on one foot and rushed out of the library to get some help. The song faded from there (finally).
Alright, this is where the real story begins! Meanwhile over at my shop, I was cleaning up one of the tables. “Ah, nothing like cleaning tables to get the ol arms nice ‘n strong, ey Bonnie?” I asked her.
“Flare, you have no idea what it means to clean a table. Come to think of it, this is the very first time you’ve cleaned a table in months!” Bonnie explained.
“Thanks for the friendly conversation, Bonnie.” I said sarcastically to her.
“Hello, Flare!” Cheerilee said as her and Big Mac walk over to me.
"Hey Cheery! Hey Big M!" I said. “Hey, Big M? Mind if I ask you a question that’ll give me an obvious answer?”
“Eeyup!” Big Mac said.
“Alright thanks! So did you two enjoy your pizza?” I asked.
"Yes we did, thank you! We just wanted thank you for the pizza. It was so good!" Cheerilee said.
"Eeeyup!" Big Mac agreed.
I was shocked. "Surprise face! You thought it was 'good'? I am disappointed."
Cheerilee chuckled a bit. “Ok it was great.”
“It was great?!” I gasped again. “I’m disappointed!”
“Flare just take the compliment.” Cheerilee complained.
“Oh I did! I was just telling you my opinion of it.” I said. “C’mon say it was the best pizza you’ve ever had!”
“No I will not say it because you said so.” Cheerilee said.
”Oh… alright.” I said upsettingly.
“I’ll say it because I mean it! That was the best pizza I’ve ever had!” Cheerilee said excitedly.
“Wow, I did not expect that!” I said excitedly. “I mean, you expect someone they don’t like it, they love it, but what you did… that was original! What a twist!”
“Eeyup!” Big Mac agreed.
"FLARE!" Spike yelled as he busted through the door, and jumped on my face.
"Sup brah?" I asked while he was hanging on my face.
"Twi-Twi-Twi-Twi-Twi-Twi...." Spike went on.
"Alright Spike calm down." I advised him as I gave Spike a gem. "EEEEEEE!" Spike cried in glee. He took the gem and sucked on it.
"A happy dragon, is a stubborn dragon. Lawl!” I teased.
"Ah, now where was I?" Spike asked calmly. "Oh yeah, that's right!" Then Spike started freaking out again. "After Twilight asked me to get some new books from town hall I went home and then Twilight just vanished out of thin air!”
"Are you sure it’s not one of her spells?” Cheerilee asked.
“This didn’t look like any spell I’ve ever seen. I saw a shockwave swoop the library and Twilight vanished! Can you believe it?”
“Maybe your eyes are playing tricks on- wait hold that thought. KEEEEEEEEEEEEEITH!” I waved to my friend Adventure Blade as he walked by.
“Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaare!” he said as he waved at walked by.
“Anyways, Spike, maybe your eyes are playing tricks on you.” I thought.
“No my eyes do not play tricks on me, Flare. I mean except for that one time I thought Ann Colter was hot.” Spike said.
“Just to clarify, Ann Colter is not Ann Coulter. Ponified her is not her, so she shouldn’t get insulted.” Engie said while looking at you, the readers.
"Anyways, Flare, I don’t think you really understand. I SAW Twilight disappear!” Spike said.
"That's nice, brah. Oh, and break time's over. The bathroom needs to be cleaned." I said as I gave him a mop.
“Oh, I didn’t know I still worked here.” Spike said.
"FLARE!" Blaze yelled, bursting into the shop, and jumping on my face.
"You guys really like my face, don't you?" I asked as he got off my face.
"Sorry 'bout that, dude." he said. "I was just flying with Rainbow Dash, and then she just disappeared."
"You too?" Spike asked.
"What do you mean 'you too'?" Blaze asked.
"After I went home to see Twilight, she disappeared!" Spike said.
"No way!" Blaze said in shock.
"Yes way!" Spike said.
Fluttershy's bunny Angel screeched as he busted inside and jumped on my face. "Why is everypony jumping on my face?" I complained.
"Every-'bunny'." Engie corrected me.
"You think that’s funny, Engie? What if I get rabies because Angel is clawing through my face? You’re gonna feel bad…. You jerk.” I said as I used my magic to levitate Angel off my face. "I'm assuming Fluttershy disappeared, right?" Angel nodded. "Of course. How come I'm not surprised? Brahs, I don't know what's your problem, but I don't think they'd just disappear for no reason. Your eyes must be playing tricks on you."
"But I saw a shockwave and Twilight disappeared!” Spike said.
“Really? I saw a shockwave take Rainbow Dash! Well, not really, I had my eyes closed, but I saw the shockwave after Rainbow disappeared.” Blaze said.
Just then, right outside my shop, the shockwave rolls by again, and I heard screaming from inside, and their voices matched the Mane Six. “HOLY WIZARD OF FEELINGS! YOU’RE RIGHT!”
“SEE?! I TOLD YOU! THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY HAVE BEEN CAPTURED! WE’RE ALL DOOMED! WE’RE ALL DOOOOOOOOMED!” Spike started to spaz out and run around and circles and started making goat noises and donkey noises.
“Is that really what I sound like?” Cranky asked as he sat down on one of the booths, eating his pizza. “Wow no wonder ponies always tease them.”
“I think it’s mules you’re thinking of.” A mule said as he sat across from him. The same exact mule that ponies keep saying ‘no offense’ to. I really wanted to help Spike out, so I ran over to the wall where there was case that said ‘In case of pizza emergency, break glass’. So I broke the glass and I took the pizza and ran over to Spike.
“Eat this.” I instructed him.
“I CAN’T EAT! I’M FREAKING OUT!” Spike yelled as he sucked on the gem I gave him.
“Kay kay then. BLAZE HOLD HIM DOWN!” I yelled as Blaze tackles Spike and holds him down.
“GET OFF ME! I have to run in order to freak out!” Spike yelled. “I’m telling you, this is NOT a good sign! The Elements of Harmony disappeared and-“ before he could finish, I stuffed the pizza in his mouth and he started chewing it. He began to calm down a bit and he swallowed. Blaze released him, hoping he is calm.
“Thanks, Flare.” Spike took a deep breath and said.
“No problemo, brah!” I said.
“How didgya do that?” Engie asked.
“My pizza’s secret recipe has the ability to calm anything down. If a pony is not themselves, eat one of my pizzas and you return to normal!” I said.
“It’s true. It works like a Snickers, but its better tasting and if you have nut allergy, you won’t swell up.” Scootaloo said.
“She’s right.” I said. Just then, Psyche, Crystal, and Aqua had inside my shop.
“What’s goin’ go here?” Aqua asked.
“Yeah we heard screaming after we saw a shockwave. What is going on here?” Psyche asked.
“Also, wasn’t I here playing the drums before? Why did I just walk into the door with Aqua and Psyche?” Crystal asked.
"The Mane Six are…. They’re missing!” Blaze said.
"Whoa.” Aqua said surprisingly. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“That doesn’t sound- IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!” Crystal yelled at Aqua.
“What?” Aqua asked.
“Why are you so calm?!” Crystal yelled.
“Is it necessary to panic?” Aqua asked.
“No it is not. Don’t worry, Aqua. You’re fine.” Blaze said.
“Ah can’t believe this. Why would the Mane Six disappear?” Engie asked.
“They hold the Elements of Harmony. If they’re gone, that means somethin’ big is about to happen.” Aqua said.
"Like what if a giant kraken attacks?” Crystal asked.
“What makes you think the Elements can stop a kraken?” Psyche asked.
“I dunno, but if I do die from a kraken, it would be an awesome death, because the last words I would hear would be ‘RELEASE THE KRAKEN’!” Crystal said.
“I think we should go report this to the princesses.” Aqua said.
“What makes you think they’ll be in any help?” Crystal asked. “They have the power to protect us, and yet they sit on their lazy bums all day and let the Mane Six do all the work.”
“Ok first off: rude, second: they may have information. If they can’t help us, I guess we will.” Aqua said.
“Of course! We’re the Noble Six! We’re the backups to the Mane Six! Time to put our titles to the test!” I said.
“SCOOTALOO! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Apple Bloom said as her and Sweetie Belle ran over to Scootaloo.
“Lemme guess. Sister’s gone missing?” Scoots asked.
“Rats, how did you know?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Magic.” Scoots said.
“No, Scoots, you should say it like the way Mr. Bean does it. Magic.” I said as I snorted twice.
“So mah sister’s gone missin’ and ah guess we have to find out why.” Apple Bloom said.
“Yeah, my sister too!” Sweetie Belle said.
“And mine!” Scoots said.
“You don’t have a sister.” Apple Bloom corrected her.
“Rainbow Dash is my sister.” Scoots said.
“No she’s not.” Apple Bloom corrected her.
“We’re sisters at heart!” Scoots said.
“No you’re not. You’re not even close to related.” Apple Bloom said.
“How would you know that?!” Scoots asked angrily.
“Girls, stop arguing! All of sisters are missing and we have to do something!” Sweetie Belle said.
“And we’re going to report it to the princesses. Maybe y’all can tag along!” Engie offered.
“The princesses?!” the CMCs all gasped in amazement.
“We never get to see them!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Well, this is your chance to, girls!” Blaze said. “You witnessed a disappearance, and that’s the best time to meet up with the princesses!”
“Or the police, we can try them.” Engie said.
“Nope. These are the Mane Six we’re talking about. Only the princesses might be able to help.” Blaze said.
“Then it’s high-time we went to Canterlot then.” Psyche said.
"Kay kay. TO THE FLAREMOBILE!" I yelled as I jumped onto a taxi. "TO CANTERLOT!" The Taxi pony started pulling the carriage really fast with me inside and we both started riding over to Canterlot.
"HELLO?! YOU FORGOT US!" Psyche yelled.
"We'll just take the train." Aqua said.
"Aw but Flare already took the carriage to there.” Sweetie Belle whined.
“Uhh, the trainstation is right down there.” Aqua pointed down the street.
“C’MON, BRAHS! THE TRAIN IS HERE!” I called out from the station. “ALSO YOU MIGHT WANNA BRING SOME GAS MASKS! WE’RE TAKING THAT EXTRA STEAMY TRAIN!”
“Pollution. What can ya do?” Aqua asked.
“OH NEVERMIND! IT’S NOT THAT KIND OF STEAM! DON’T BRING A GAS MASK, BRING A KEYBOARD AND A MOUSE!” I yelled. “WAIT, IS THAT COMPANION CUBE ON THE TRAIN?!”
Meanwhile, at Canterlot castle. Princess Celestia was pacing back and forth in fright, thinking of what to do next. Just then, the Noble Six, Spike, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders all burst inside the castle and run up to the throne room. “Your highness! We have dire news!” Blaze yelled.
“Also sorry we didn’t knock. SOME OF US didn’t want to wait!” Crystal said as she glared at Blaze.
“Thank you, thank all of you for coming, and I know. The six ponies who held the Elements of Harmony has disappeared.” Celestia said.
“Wow she’s good.” Engie said. “She really knows how to get things done fast…….. that’s what she said!”
"I’m glad you’re here, Noble Six.” Celestia admitted. “I think it’s about time the Mane Six’s backups
"Wait! Hold on!" I said.
"What's wrong?" Aqua asked.
"Is something wrong, Flare Gun?" Celestia asked. I just stood there, glaring at Celestia and tapping one of my front hooves. “Oh… LUNA! VISITORS!”
"Thank you, your highness." I said.
“Wow she really is good! She read Flare’s mind!” Engie said.
“Actually it’s kinda obvious, Engie.” Psyche corrected him.
"Yes, sister?" Luna asked as she walked into the room. She saw the others. "Oh Greetings, Noble Six, young fillies! It's a good thing you're here!" she said.
"Hi Luna!" I said as I waved at her.
“This is so awesome! Maybe we should get our cutie marks in reporting things to the princess!” Sweetie Belle whispered.
"Your majesties.” Aqua started. “It was an average day in Ponyville. I was just cleanin’ up Ponyville lake, when suddenly-“
“BORING!” Crystal yelled. “You talk to slow, Aqua. Let me handle this.” Crystal cleared her throat and said to the princesses, “I was-“
“Wow, and you say Aqua’s too slow.” Engie interrupted.
“You didn’t even give me a chance!” Crystal complained.
“Look, there was a shockwave in Ponyville, and before we knew it, the Mane Six disappeared.” Blaze said.
“I know.” Celestia said.
“Wow, she knew! We didn’t even have to come here!” Engie complained. “Paid 9 whole bits for that train ticket!”
“Oh no, Engineer. You all coming here is perfect.” Celestia said. “With the Mane Six gone, you’re the only ones that can rescue them now.”
“Us?” Psyche asked.
“No she means, the crusaders.” Engie said sarcastically.
“US?!” the CMCs all gasped.
“Ah was bein’ sarcastic.” Engie said.
“Oh don’t do that, Engie! I can’t tell the difference!” I complained.
"I was afraid of this day.” Celestia said. “My humble student, Twilight Sparkle, and her friends got ponynapped from an unknown source. It scares me very."
"Sure scared the life outta Spike here.” I teased.
"I saw Twilight disappear right in front of me!" Spike said. “You’d freak out too!”
"Yeah, I saw the same thing happen to Rainbow Dash.” Blaze said.
Celestia sighed. "It's troubling to see those who hold the Elements of Harmony get ponynapped." she said. "I don't know where else to turn, but I don't seem to have much of a choice. Noble Six, we need you."
"AWWWW YEAH!" I yelled in excitement as I jumped up in the air. I just hung frozen in that pose I did in the air. The other's just looked at me.
"Are you quite finished?" Psyche asked.
"Just 5 more seconds." I said. After 5 seconds, I went back down. "There we go! Lion face."
"How did you do that?" Crystal asked.
"Logic don't matter 'round here, Crystal." Engie said.
"It's great that we finally got our first major quest.” Aqua said. "What do we have to do, your highness?"
“The shockwave you saw isn’t any ordinary shockwave. It doesn’t come from any magic. It’s technology.” Celestia said. Just then, Celestia uses her magic to create a holographic image of some sort of cannon. “This device, made by an unknown source, creates immersive shockwaves that can capture a particular type of magic. This cannon was created to capture a representative to an element of friendship. In short, the shockwave can only effect those who hold the Elements of Harmony, and everypony else would just get an ear ache.”
“I was wondering why my ears were popping.” Spike said as stuck one of his fingers in one of his ears.
“We have located the source of the cannon, however. It is located at a place called Chaos Mountains.” Luna said.
"Chaos Mountains, huh?" Blaze asked.
"Ah've had a match over there one time." Engie said.
"Chaos Mountains is a mysterious mountain, located at the peak of the Everfree Forest." Celestia said. "It used to be a citadel for our chaos lord, Discord. Until it was shortly abandoned after Luna and I used the elements on him.”
"But it's not abandoned anymore it would seem." Aqua said.
"We also have.... other news." Celestia said. Just then, Princess Cadance bursts right into the throne room and ran to Celestia, crying.
"Princess Cadance! What's wrong?" Celestia asked.
"MY HUSBAND'S GONE!" Cadance cried.
"WHAT?!" Celestia and Luna gasped at the same time.
"You mean Shining Armor?" Sweeite Belle asked.
"No, she means the Ice King. Who do you think?" Scootaloo asked sarcastically.
"Well excuse me for wondering." Sweetie Belle said.
"My Shining Armor has disappeared!" Cadance cried as she started taking deep breaths.
"There there, Cadance." Aqua said as she patted her on the back.
"That's not all. Half of our royal guards have gone missing too." Luna said.
"Yeah, mine too." Cadance said.
"What's with all the missin ponies?" Engie asked.
"This plot really means business!" Blaze said.
"Don't worry, Celestia and Luna. We shall bring dem back, and save the day!" Engie said.
"Thank you, Red Engineer." Celestia said.
“This right ‘ere is trippier than a pony with a cup.” Apple Bloom said.
A cutaway shows a pony holding a cup and asking another pony, “Excuse me, sir? Can you something to fill my cup?”
“Sure!” the other pony said as he takes a bit out of his pocket and inserts the bit inside the cup.
“God bless yee, sir.” The pony with the cup said.
“No problem! I love helping the homeless!” the giver pony said.
“Oh, I’m not homeless.” The pony with the cup said. “I’m just really thirsty.” The pony with the cup then drinks the coin out of his cup. “Ahhh, refreshing.” The cutaway ends.
"Please follow me.” Luna instructed us. “I have some supplies and some other stuff to give you for your trip.” Everypony followed Luna to the Royal Guard barracks. It was nearly empty in there. "Many of our guards have also disappeared. Not all of them though, and without our captain, it doesn't seem the guards know exactly what to do." She said.
"What could whoever who this weapon want with the Mane Six, Shining Armor, and half of the royal guards from Equestria?” Psyche asked.
"I too am also missing some guards." Luna said.
"Yeah, it doesn't seem to surprise us." Engie said.
"Whoa, this is so cool!" Apple Bloom said, while looking around the guard barracks. "Maybe ah should be a royal guard."
"Like you have the guts." Scootaloo teased.
"Yeah good point." Apple Bloom agreed. "Wait, WHAT?!"
"I wanna try some armor on." Sweetie Belle said as she goes through a trunk and puts on a guard helmet. "How do I look?"
"Like Sweetie Belle with a guard helmet on." Apple Bloom teased and chuckled. Scootaloo picks up a mace and swirls it around.
"Wow! This thing's so cool!" Scootaloo said.
"Careful with that thing, Scoots!" Sweetie Belle advised her.
"What's gonna happen?" Scootaloo asked not caring. She swings the mace on a Royal Guard statue and then it falls on another statue, and it falls on another statue, and keeps going on like dominos. "Oops." she said.
"Y’all are so busted!" Apple Bloom said mischievously.
Luna opened the doors to the supply room and turned on the lights. The supply room was full of food, maps, and books. "Wow! This is so cool!" Crystal said. “I mean, it would be cool if we were going camping, but we’re not. So this place seems uncool at this moment.”
"Ah might be able to build a transformer outta all these supplies!" Engie said.
"Take whatever food you might need for your journey." Luna said. "The map to Chaos Mountains is right here." Luna used her magic to give Psyche the map.
"This doesn't seem to be a dangerous route." Psyche said as he observed the map. "We'll get through this, no problem!"
"Woops, that's the old map. Hang on." Luna said as she used her magic to take back the map Psyche had and gave him a new map. "This is the present map."
Psyche was in shock. "Yeah.... that's a pretty dangerous route." he said.
Engie and Crystal were gathering lots of boxes of food. "This will be enough to feed us for weeks!"
"But it's only a six hour hike." Psyche said as he looked at the map.
"So? The more food we have the better!" Engie said.
"Just put a couple of cans in your satchels." Psyche advised him.
Engie sighed. "Fine."
"Always ruining the fun for us, Psyche." Crystal complained.
"Thank you, Princess Luna. We promise we won't fail you.” Aqua promised.
"Isn't this great brahs? We're going on our first major adventure! We're gonna be heroes! PRAISE THE WIZARDS!" I yelled.
"Wait, Flare Gun. I have something that might interest you." Luna said.
"Is it a winning lotto ticket?" I asked.
"Uhh… no. I wouldn’t even give you one even if I had one.” Luna said.
"Barnacles! Tarter sauce!” I ranted.
"I have a couple of new spells for you. Just in case." Luna said as took out some magic books.
"That works too! Kay, what do you have in stock for me?" I asked.
“Well, you can only cast video game-like spells, and I think I found some in these old books that may match that descrtiption.” Luna opens the book and shows it to me. "The Rail-spell. You can fire a force-pushing beam."
"Similar to my laser blast spell?” I asked.
"Yeah, except it has more strength, and it burns less. Think of it as a railgun but without it blowing you to gibs." Luna said.
“Ah didn’t know you were into video games too, Luna?” Engie said.
“I did play Words with Friends with you in the past, did I not?” Luna asked.
“Ok, umm…” I read the spell book. “From future and space, there is no doubt. You’re about to find a forceful way out. A big blast of rail is exactly you need, without it harming too much of other folk’s well-being.” As I was saying the spell, my horn began to glow. “Whoa! Engie, hold still.”
"No, yer not gonna fire at me with that spell!" Engie freaked out. "DON'T YA'LL DARE DO IT!" I then released the rail-blast spell from my horn, and I blasted the can of beans out of Engie’s hoof. "Oh. Why didn't ya tell me ya were firin’ the can of beans?"
"You didn't ask.” I teased.
"Good point. Good aim too." Engie said.
"Yeah, that was a great spell, mate. Pretty effective." Aqua said.
"Thanks, Aqua!" I said. "And thank you Luna! I less then three the Rail-blast Spell!"
“You deserve a jelly-baby for that, Flare!” Psyche said as offered me a jelly-baby.
“Yay! Jelly-baby!” I said excitedly as I was about to levitate the jelly-baby out of his hoof and into my mouth, but instead, I accidently triggered my rail-blast again and knocked the baby out of his hoof.
“You only get one.” Psyche said.
“Hey I’m not afraid of eating off the floor!” I said as I looked over at the jelly-baby and was about to levitate it off the ground, but I used the rail-blast again to push it farther. “As much as I less than three this spell, it seems a little too effective.”
"Well, if you love that spell, you'll fall for this next spell!" Luna said as she turns the pages of the spell book with her magic.
As Luna was turning the pages, Crystal was a bit curious, so she places her hoof on the book, but she quickly takes out and yelled, “OW! PAPERCUT!” she begins sucking her hoof.
“Oh c’mon! I just retired sucking my claw not too long ago!” Spike complained. “Don’t be such a show-off, Crystal!”
“Here it is!” Luna said as she levitates the book over to me. My eye pupils grow wide as I read it. “Surprised face! NO WAY! Holy Wizard of Feelings! Is my eyes playing tricks on me or something?!”
“I know mine aren’t.” Spike said.
"That's right, Flare Gun!" Luna nodded. "The Armor Lock spell!"
"NO WAY! I've always wanted to know that spell!" I cried out in excitement. “I’ve been searching for it for a very long time, but I was unsuccessful… until now! This is a dream come true! I must be in Disneyland!”
"Armor lock, huh? Like from Halo." Blaze said.
"Go on, Flare! Give that spell a try.” Aqua said.
"You have to duck down though and you won't be able to move, but you'll be completely invulnerable for a short-amount of time." Luna said. “But not too long. I know how much you don’t want to be OP.”
“FORGET OP! This is awesome!” I yelled in excitement. “From a game of great ratings, you will indeed mock, so just shut your mouth, and begin to armor lock!” I read the spell as I crouched down and my armor lock activates.
“Whoa!” Engie said shockingly. “Should’ve called dibs on bein’ a unicorn!”
“Oh snap!” Crystal said shockingly.
“Let’s test it out. Hold still, Flare!” Blaze advised me as he used his draconian firebreath on me.
"Didn't even feel the heat!" I said as my armor lock wears off. “That was amazing! I’m sorry, Shoop Da Whoop, but this is the best spell I’ve ever had!
"Wait, you breathe fire?” Crystal asked Blaze.
"I told you guys, I'm a draconian! I’m half-dragon, which means firebreath!” Blaze said.
"NO WAY!" Crystal cried out in excitement.
"Yes way!" Blaze said.
"That is so cool!" Spike said.
"You know what else is cool?” I asked as I activated my armor lock spell. “I HAVE ARMOR LOCK NOW! WOOOOO HOOOO! I sounded like Pitbull when I said that.”
"Okay, we've been through that, Flare." Psyche said.
"But this is so cool, Psyche!" I said as my spell wears off. "I've always wanted this spell! Try to touch me? Oh, nope!" I activated the spell again. "Because I have armor lock!" I deactivated the spell again. "You gonna fire that rocket at me? It ain't gonna harm me!" I activated the spell yet again. "'Cause I have armor lock, baby!" I deactivated his spell again. Some of my friends shook their heads, and some were facehoofing, and some were giggling. "You gonna try to punch me in the face, or kick me in the plot? Nope! Can't has. Know why?" I activated his spell again. "Because I have learned armor lock!"
"Okay, Flare. We get it!" Psyche said excitedly.
"Wait, I got one more!" I said as I deactivated the spell. "Hey why you trying to push me? I dare you to push me again, brah!" Just then, Engie pushes me and I fall over before I was able to use the spell. “Dang it, Engie! You didn’t let me finish!”
"Red Engineer, Crystal Iceblast, Blaze Goldheart, Psyche Illusion, Aquatic Armor, and Crimson Flare Gun...." Luna started.
"Why am I always last?" I complained.
"The fate of Equestria rests on your hooves!" Luna said.
"The fate of Equestria? I didn't know losing the Mane Six was this much of a big deal!" Aqua said.
"If those who hold the Elements of Harmony are captured, then any powerful being can attack Equestria! You must find them and bring them back. I dub thee good luck to you all!" Luna said.
"This seems trippy." Spike said.
"I'm sure you'll all be fine." Luna said. "Good luck!"
"Alright guys! Let's go!" Blaze said as he holds his hoof out. "With courage...."
"With dignity...." Psyche said, holding his hoof on top of Blaze's.
"With kicking plot...." Crystal said, holding her hoof on top of Psyche's.
"With hope..." Aqua said, holding his hoof on top of Crystal's.
"With our heavy hearts...." Engie said, holding his hoof on top of Aqua's.
"And spreading the lulz...." I said, holding his hoof on top of Engie's.
"We'll be.... UNSTOPPABLE!" Blaze yelled out.
"UNSTOPPABLE!" they all cried out, and holding their hooves in the air.
“OW! Why did ah have to put my hoof in the air that fast?!” Engie yelled as he held his arm in pain. “Ahhhh!”
“Heh, wimp.” Crystal chuckled.
Just then, we all ran back to the to the guard barrack and about to head out, but we saw that the room a mess. We all then looked over at the crusaders who were standing there with guard armor on. The three crusaders let out an embarrassing smile, and a squee.
"If we had the time to deal with this, and if we cared, then the three of you would be in big trouble." Psyche said.
"She did it!" the three cried out, pointing to eachother.
The Noble Six then all ran out of the castle, with Spike on my back, Apple Bloom on Psyche's back, Scootaloo on Blaze's back, and Sweetie Belle on Crystal's back. Princesses Celestia and Cadance watched us run off from the castle towers. Luna then joined them.
"Good luck, Noble Six." Celestia said.
"Stay safe, and bring my husband back unharmed!" Cadance said. “Also, if they can, make sure he has his wedding ring on still. I’d hate to see him lose it.”
“You don’t even wear yours.” Celestia reminded her.
A couple of hours later, back in Ponyville, I was in his trailer with my fish. "Alright guys. I left the auto feeder for you. You guys should be fine while I'm gone."
"Not unless Yoyo eats all the food." Piddles teased.
"Oh, ha ha. Very funny, Piddles." Yoyo said sarcastically.
"I dunno how long I'll be gone for. I wish to stay with you guys, but my friends and I have a job to do." I said as I put on my satchel. "Remember when I said today wasn't gonna be any ordinary day? Lawl remember fishies?"
"He's gotta stop doing that." Rainbow commented.
"I was correct. This day wasn't gonna be any ordinary day." I said. "Because it's time for the Noble Six to officially rise to what they were made for! We're going to Chaos Mountains and rescue the Mane Six, Shining Armor, and.... those other guards that aren't worth mentioning.” I opened my door. "I'll leave the trailer secured. I less then three you guys so much, and don't worry! I'll be back, I promise!" I then turned on my security in my trailer, closed his door, and locked it.
"Goodbye Flare." all the fish said at the same time.
"Well the coast is clear!" Dorthey said excitedly. "For at least two days, we'll have the whole trailer to ourselves!"
"But we can't leave the tank, remember?" Pearl reminded her.
"Lawl remember Dorthey?" Darrel teased.
"Oh no! Don't you start doing it!" Dorthey demanded.
When I got outside, I walked over towards Bon Bon and Lyra who were waiting for me outside. "Good luck on your quest, Flare!" Lyra said as she gave me a hug.
"Be very careful!" Bonnie said as she also gave me a hug.
"I'll be fine. Just take care of the shop while we're gone." I said. “Also, this isn’t a quest, it’s a mission. There’s a complete difference to that.”
"So which one of us is in charge?" Bonnie asked.
"It's obviously gonna be me!" Lyra said.
"I can't choose between you two, so you're both in charge, kay? Kay." I said. "But just do what you always do. Stay on task, and stay away from my safe!"
"Don't worry, Flare! It'll be like you never left.” Bonnie said.
"Except that you did." Lyra said.
Meanwhile, Psyche was putting his satchel on, and Derpy put a couple of muffins in it for him. "A little something for the trip, Psyche." She said.
"Thank you, Derpy. You're a great friend! Watch my house; make sure nopony steals my supplies, and make sure you don't break them." Psyche requested.
Derpy gives Psyche a big hug. "Don't worry, Psyche. You can count on me!" she said. “Except on doing anything wrong because then I won’t know.”
"I don't know how long I'll be gone for. So I don't think I'll make it to this week's Nashorse race." Blaze said to Spitfire.
"Don't sweat it, Blaze." Spitfire said while tapping his shoulder. "I was gonna play a prank on you in that race, but eh... luckily you had this quest to do."
Blaze play punched her shoulder. "Shut up!" he said to her playfully. Spitfire play punched him back, then Blaze play punched her again, then Spitfire punched him, but hard. "OW!" he yelled.
"Oh, woops. Sorry, Blaze. Just make sure you get Rainbow Dash back. I can’t have her go missing forever without being an official Wonderbolt.” Spitfire said.
"I think you broke my shoulder! OW!" Blaze whined.
"Oh don’t be such a baby, Blaze.” Spitfire teased.
Just then Blaze smiled at her. "Just kidding!" he said.
"Oh, Blaze!" she said, punching him in the shoulder again.
"OW! That one actually hurt!" Blaze yelled.
Just then, the crusaders were all walking towards the Noble Six, carrying satchels. "Apple Bloom!" she said saluting.
"Sweetie Belle." she said, saluting.
"And Scootaloo!" she said, saluting.
"Reporting for duty, Noble Six!" they said at the same time.
"What's going on?" Aqua asked.
"We're coming with you guys, right?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Oh.... uhh.... sorry girls. This trip is too dangerous for little fillies like you." I said. “Not that I’m being ageist or anything.”
"WHAT?!" they all said at the same time.
"That's not fair! Spike's going!" Sweetie Belle complained.
"Spike's a dragon, he can take care of himself." Engie said..
"But we can help kick plot! We've been practicing! You'll see!" Scootaloo begged.
"Look, did your parents say you could?" Blaze asked.
"Rarity's captured, and my parents are on vacation. There's nopony around to watch over me." Sweetie Belle said as she smiled.
"Big Mac and Granny Smith said it was ok as long as it’s ok with you.” Apple Bloom said.
"Look, this job is too dangerous for you. The princesses hired us to do this." Aqua said.
“Hired…. as if we’re going to get paid for it.” Crystal rolled her eyes said.
"But... but...." the Crusaders stuttered.
"No buts. Now the three of you, stay here where's it safe." Blaze ordered them.
"We'll give ya'll some souvenirs! How 'bout that?" Engie suggested.
"No, forget it." said Apple Bloom angrily.
"And just as we thought you guys were cool." said Scootaloo angrily. The three of them then walked away angrily.
"They don't look too happy." Crystal said.
"Well this job is not a job for three young fillies that are still trying to earn their cutie marks to attend in this mission. They'll just slow us down, and they might whine, or mess up anyway." Psyche said. “We’re probably going to be carrying them 3 ¾ of the way anyway!”
"And Spike doesn't?" Crystal asked.
"Hey I don't whine! I'm old enough, and strong enough to take care of myself!" Spike whined.
"C'mon partners! Time's a-wastin!" Engie said.
"Alright! Let's go Noble Six! To Chaos Mountain!" I yelled as the six of us started running towards the Everfree Forest, but after a while we got tired. We all stopped to catch our breath. “Wow. This is hard work!” I said as we were just 4 yards away from where we started.
“C’mon, let’s not be wimps!” Blaze said. “We have to rescue the Mane Six as fast as we can, before chaos breaks lose in Equestria!”
“We can always just walk.” Aqua suggested.
“Ok.” Blaze agreed as we all began to walk.
So as the seven of us began walking to the forest, the crusaders followed us without us knowing. "C'mon, let's go!" Scootaloo said.
"Wait, in there?" Apple Bloom asked as she pointed to the forest.
"Where else?" Scootaloo asked. "There's nothing to do here without Rainbow Dash around.”
"But Flare said we hafta stay here, where's it safe." Apple Bloom said.
"They all said that. We're old enough to take care of ourselves! Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and AppleJack are up in that mountain, and they need our help!" Scootaloo said.
"But we'll be in trouble, and what if we get hurt?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Look, this is also a chance to get our cutie marks, and prove to the Noble Six that we can take care of ourselves!" Scootaloo said. "Now you girls with me, or not?"
"You got it, Scootaloo!" Apple Bloom said excitedly. "For our cutie marks, and proving that the Cutie Mark Crusaders are the best there is!"
"You girls sure about this?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"If you want, you can stay, all alone.... with Twist." Scootaloo said while she and Apple Bloom start walking into the forest. Sweetie Belle turns around and sees Twist waving at her.
"Girls, wait up!" Sweetie Belle yelled while running into the forest along with them.
So the Noble Six are walking through the Everfree Forest. Crystal was telling a classical joke to us. “So a human walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, ‘why the short face’?”
“HA! I get it!” Blaze laughed.
“I know! Old but gold right?” Crystal asked.
“Yep!” Blaze agreed.
“You know what else is old but gold?” I asked.
“Oh jeez.” Psyche facehooved himself.
“ARMOR LOCK!” I cried out as I used my armor lock spell again. "Oh yeah, I'm unstoppable. You know why? Because I have armor lock!" I said while I kept turning on and off my spell. "Go ahead liger, you wanna attack!? I dare you to attack a leet pony that has armor lock! Oh look out, a butterfly! Better not touch me because I'm activating armor lock! Armor lock! Armor lock! Armor lock! Armor lock! Armor lock! Armor lock! Armor lock!"
"ALRIGHT, WE GET IT! WE KNOW YOU HAVE ARMOR LOCK! JUST SHUT UP!" Psyche yelled.
"You jealous bro?" I asked.
"Not really." Psyche said.
"Ah think Crystal is though." Engie said.
"AM NOT!" Crystal yelled with tears on her eyes. "I'm not jealous. Not at all. It's just....."
"Yeah she's jealous." Engie said with a chuckle.
"SHUT IT, ENGIE!" Crystal yelled at him. Engie just kept laughing.
Spike goes through Blaze's satchel, taking out some of his cans and throws them aside while saying, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no..... Wait, what's this?" Spike finds a sapphire, and takes it out. "Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about! I should hang with you more often Blaze. It seems you eat gems too!"
"Of course I do, Spike." Blaze said. "I am part dragon after all, so I must...." Blaze had a concerned look on his face shortly after. "HEY! Quit going through my satchel!"
"But I'm hungry." Spike whined.
"Yeah me too." Aqua said. “I’m pretty much as hungry as Spike after-“
“Oh don’t you dare do a false cutaway gag on me while I’m here!” Spike demanded.
Aqua uses his unicorn magic to take out a bag of chips. Aqua licks his lips, and opens the bag. Just as he was about to eat his chips, his chips started floating out of the bag and into my mouth. Yep, that’s right! I used my magic to steal Aqua's chips. Aqua looked in his bag in shock. "Hey, where did my chips go?"
"Yummy! Even though I prefer salt and viniger." I said.
"Flare did you steal my chips?" Aqua asked.
"No, I borrowed them. You'll have them back next time I go to the bathroom. LAWL!” I teased.
"Eeck! Forget I asked." Aqua said disgustedly.
"No way! You had chips?" Spike asked Aqua.
"Yeah, but they were mine." Aqua said.
"I have some Pringles if you want some Spike." I offered.
"I don't trust riding on you. I think you're gonna do armor lock while I'm on your back." Spike said.
"I promise not to activate armor lock while you're on my back." I promised.
"Alright, you pinkie promise?" Spike asked.
"Cross my heart, hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye." I said while putting a garlic roll on his eye.
"That's a garlic roll, partner. Not a cupcake." Engie corrected me.
"I figured. This is really starting to burn my eye.” I said.
"Alright, here I come, dude." Spike said. Just as Spike jumped on my back. I activated armor lock.
"ARMOR LOCK!" I yelled as Spike bounced off my back and he fell down.
"DUDE! You pinkie promised!" Spike complained.
"You weren't on my back yet. Herp-derp!" I corrected him. "I activated armor lock before you came on my back, dum dum.”
Spike got up, and bounced on Psyche's back. "I sometimes wonder what's in that head of yours, Flare." Spike commented.
"You and me both, dude.” Psyche said.
"Wait guys. Stop." Aqua said as we all stopped at a cliff edge, with a broken bridge.
"Great! That's just great!" Blaze complained.
"What are you complaining about? You, Crystal, and Psyche have wings." Aqua pointed out.
"But what about Engineer, you, and Flare?" Blaze asked.
"Why do you keep putting me last?" I complained.
"Can't you guys carry us?" Aqua asked.
"I'm not that strong, Aqua." Psyche said.
"Me neither." Crystal said.
"And I can only carry one pony. I can't carry all three of you." Blaze informed us.
"Why couldn't we get transportation from Princess Celestia?" Crystal complained.
"Or Luna, don't forget Luna." I said.
"Because we just rushed out of the castle, thinking we can handle any obstacle in our path, why didn't we think about this sooner?" Psyche complained.
"Well, we gotta think of something." Blaze said.
“Can we find a way around?” Aqua asked.
Psyche takes out the map and observes it. “Sure, if you want to add 4 more hours of our walk. This cliff goes on for miles.”
“We have no time for that. We have to find a way across.” Blaze said. “I swear this is going to be more difficult than making a Godzilla movie.”
A cutaway shows a Japanese producer talking to the mayor of Tokyo. “Ok, so we need to borrow Tokyo again for this Godzilla sequel.” A Japanese producer said to the mayor of Tokyo. “We need to summon a monster in this city, make it destroy everything, and put the citizen’s lives at risk for other’s entertainment.”
“Ok, but be sure you rebuild the whole city when you’re done.” The mayor said. “We have a giant octopus coming into town next. Also you know any school girls that might be interested in acting in it?”
“Sorry, already called dibs on this first.” Goku showed up and said. “Frieza and I need a fighting ground. We’re about to have an epic fight that lasts forever but the canyon is filled with snakes.”
“Sorry, Tokyo, schedule list full, but we’ll do something about those snakes.” The mayor said.
“Ok good. I want Frieza’s death at my hands! Not from snake venom!” Goku said.
“What is the moral of your story?” the Godzilla director asked.
“We live in Japan, buddy. Morals don’t apply here. Only epic fights, giant monsters, and sexy school girls. Nothing else matters.” Goku said. The cutaway ends.
“So how are we goin’ to pass this trench at enough time?” Aqua asked.
“How about we all form bridge of some sort? Blaze will hold one end, Engie will hold the other, and the rest of you will form a bridge and let me cross.” Crystal suggested.
“Ok genius, how are the rest of us going to follow?” Spike asked as he glared at her.
“I guess I didn’t really think it through for the rest of you.” Crystal said.
"Wait, I just got an idea!" I said excitedly.
"I don't like your ideas that much, Flare. No offense, dude." Psyche said.
“Hey unless, you have a better solution, Psyche, we should let the pony speak.” Blaze said. “Go ahead, man!”
"I think I have a type of transportation that’ll come over to us in record time, and we’ll get to Chaos Mountains even faster!” I said.
"So far, none of us had any ideas yet." Engie said.
"But first.... a song!" I said.
"A song?" Blaze asked.
"NO! This isn't an event. I'm not singing." Psyche said.
"But this is an important mission, and if you want that transportation, you're going to have to sing." I said.
"Forget it!" Psyche said angrily.
"Then we'll just sit here until one of you figures out a better idea." I said. Everypony was silent for few seconds. "Anypony got an idea yet?"
"Nope, ah got nothin." Engie said.
"Yeah, I can't think of anything." Aqua said.
"I know it’s weird, but it’s part of being an Equestrian. Everyone sings.” Spike said. “Except me most of the time.”
"We’re not getting any closer to our objective, dude.” Blaze said.
"Fine. One song and that's it. I'm singing anymore after." Psyche said.
"Don't worry, I'm not expecting you to sing anymore after this..... today." I said.
"For a while." Psyche said.
"Fine." I agreed. “Spike?” Spike starts playing the beginning part of 'Come Sail Away' on the piano.
"Where did ya get the piano, mate?” Aqua asked.
"I dunno, just found it here." Spike said as he continued playing.
"Here, I'll start." I said as I cleared my throat and started singing. "I'm sailing away."
"Actually we're just standin here." Engie said.
"Set an open course for the Virgin Sea." I Flare.
“Oh, he’s ripping off another song.” Crystal said.
"Cause I've got to be free.” I sang.
“Can’t he be more original?” Crystal complained.
“Free to face the life, that's ahead of me.” I sang.
“It’s hard to make a good song, Crystal.” Aqua said.
“On board, I'm the captain. So climb aboard." I sang.
"Why do you get to be captain?" Crystal complained.
"We'll search for tomorrow, on every shore - and I'll try, oh Wizard of Hope, I'll try! To caaaaarry on!"
"Wow, singing can really make a pony happy." Aqua said.
"But when Flare sings, it just sounds wrong." Blaze said.
"Go, Engie! Your turn!" I said.
"Oh." Engie said as he cleared his throat and begins as he holds his hoof over his forehead and looks around. "Ahhhhh look to the sea."
"Reflections in the waves, spark my memory." Crystal sang.
"Some happy, some sad." Blaze sang in a weird voice.
“Wow and you say my singing is wrong.” I complained.
Aqua put his hooves around Blaze and Crystal and sang, "I think of childhood friends, and the dreams we had."
I then punched Psyche's shoulder and said, "C'mon, Psyche!"
Psyche sighed and he began to sing, "We live happily together….."
"Like you mean it." I said.
"So the story goes…." Psyche sang a little better.
"You can do better!" I said excitedly.
"But somehow we missed out…." He continued as he began to smile.
"Almost there, brah!" I said.
"On the pot of gold." He sang.
“Finish it off, Spike!” I yelled.
"But we'll try, best that we can...” Spike sang. “To caaaaarry on!" The music in the background started to get more upbeat.
"YEAH! That felt good!" Psyche cried out. “I hate this song but it feels good!”
"See? I told you that singing can make a pony happy.” Aqua said.
"I knew you had it in you, Psyche!” I said.
"Heh, thanks." Psyche said. "I guess I do."
"A gathering of angels, appeared above my head." I sang.
“Hopefully not Weeping Angels.” Blaze said.
"They to me this song of hope, and this is what they said, they said..."
"Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me!" we all sang.
"Brahs." I said.
"Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me!" we all sang as we shook our bodies back and forth. "Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me!"
"OR DIE!" I said angrily.
"Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with meeeeee!" we all sang as the trees started to get windy as the instrumental of the song was on. A helicopter with a bunch of breakfast items decorated on it appeared as it flew automatically down to the forest grounds and landed near us.
"We sang a song for this thing?" Psyche complained.
"What is that thing?" Engie asked.
"This here, my friends, is my Wafflecopter.” I said.
"What does it do?" Aqua asked.
"It can fly up to six ponies to any location! It can fly up to 120,000 feet, and fly up to 140 M-P-H." I said.
"Oh really? Anything else?" Crystal asked.
“It runs on maple syrup, and the steering wheel is a pancake.” I explained. “Also it comes with free maple tree sausage! Mmm mmm!” I took a sausage link out of the chopper and ate it. “Yummy! Oak wood!”
"Uh huh." Crystal nodded. "So who's driving?"
"Obviously me! This is my copter and my breakfast!” I said.
"Ah don't think ya have the experience, partner. Let me drive." Engie said.
"I don't think you have the experience either." I said.
"Look, I'm a member of the Wonderbolts. I should drive." Blaze said.
"I’m a scientist. I can do it. Not that being a scientist means anything with driving something.” Psyche said.
"You stallions are no match for the brains of us mares." Crystal said.
"That doesn't make any sense, Crystal." Aqua corrected her.
“Lemme drive. I have thumbs.” Spike said. So we all got inside the helicopter, fighting for the driver's seat. Well, not all of us. Aqua didn’t. While they were pushing and shoving eachother around, the impact of our fighting causes the helicopter to slide off the cliff.
“Uhh, mates? Mates?” Aqua tried to get our attention, but we didn’t listen. “MATES!”
Aqua wasn’t quick enough and the helicopter started to slide off the cliff. We realized what they were doing so we stopped, and just in time too. Crystal was about to bite Blaze’s leg. The Wafflecopter started falling into the trench as the music went to the part where it sounds like something is falling. As the music in the background started to get upbeat again, the Wafflecopter flew out of the trench and started to fly away.
"Now THAT was close.” Aqua said.
"This thing is pretty cool, Flare!" Crystal said as she nibbled on a piece of sausage.
"Yeah, I'd wanna get one of these things myself, maybe!" Blaze said.
"Well it's smooth sailin from here on out!" Engie said. “No pun intended. Also, Crystal, that’s not a tree sausage you’re eating, that’s a battery.”
“No problem; as long as it’s not a C.” Crystal said.
"I thought that they were angels, but to my surprise…” I sang. “We climbed aboard their starship, we headin' for the skies, singing...."
"Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me!" we all sang.
"We have sausage!” I said.
"Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me!" we continued singing. "Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me! Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me...." we continued singing as we were flying on top of the Everfree Forest and were on our way to Chaos Mountain which was in viewing distance. Meanwhile back at the trench, the Cutie Mark Crusaders caught up with us…. That is, if I didn’t have my chopper with me, and now they’re WAAAAAAY behind.
"Oh great! Now what?" Apple Bloom complained as she spotted my Wafflecopter flying in the sky.
"When did Flare get a contraption like that?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Well we lost 'em. We're doomed." Apple Bloom said.
"Told you this was a bad idea." Sweetie Belle blamed Apple Bloom.
"No you didn't!" Apple Bloom corrected her.
"Yes I did." Sweetie Belle argued with her.
"No you didn't!" Apple Bloom said.
"Will you two stop arguing, and hop on?" Scootaloo asked them while hanging on a glider.
"Scoots, where did ya get that glider?" Apple Bloom asked.
"I just found it, no need to go into details. Stop judging me!” Scoots yelled at them. “Anyways, we can use this to catch up to Flare and the others."
"Well, I rest my case then. Sorry I yelled at you, Apple Bloom." Sweetie Belle said to her.
"I’m not. If you two didn’t argue, I wouldn’ve found this.” Scoots admitted. “I just found this while closing my eyes and holding my ears, and then I banged into a tree- and if you say a Fluttershy tree joke, I’m going to push you two off the cliff.”
"We- we weren’t going to.” Apple Bloom corrected her.
“We weren’t?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“C’mon, girls. We have yet to prove ourselves.” Scoots said. “Now hang on tight, cause this is going to be a bumpy and very unsafe ride. So unsafe that we have to say the words ‘kids, don’t try this at home’ before doing so.”
“Why? We’re kids.” Apple Bloom reminded her.
"Weeeeeee!" they all cried out in amazement as they ran off the cliff and started gliding into the air. Scootaloo’s pre-mature wings helped them gain some altitude.
“Wow, and ah never thought Scootaloo would finally be able to fly.” Apple Bloom teased.
“Can you survive a 10 foot drop, Apple Bloom?” Scootaloo asked her sarcastically.
Back with the Noble Six and Spike, we were flying the Wafflecopter to Chaos Mountain. We were so close.
"There it is!" Aqua said while pointing to it. "Chaos Mountain! Looks scarier in person."
"Holy Wizard of Strength, guys. We made it this far." I said impressively.
"Hey I just realized, why didn't we use this before we left Ponyville?" Aqua asked.
"Didn't cross my mind. I thought of only using it if it was important." I said.
“Seems reasonable enough.” Crystal said.
“No it isn’t!” Blaze complained. “We could’ve used this to get here a lot sooner!”
"Oh for Wizard of Hope's sake!" I yelled.
"What's wrong, man?" Blaze asked.
"I think we're out of gas." I said.
"But we were only in the air for 20 minutes!" Blaze said.
"Yeah, I guess I remember why we didn't use it while we were still in Ponyville. Luckily for us, maple syrup is cheaper.” I said. Just then, the Wafflecopter’s motors began to shut down, and we just floated there like we were in a cartoon or something.
Just as soon as Crystal said “Oh snap!” we started falling out of the sky. The Noble Six and Spike were all screaming as we were falling. “Hey not to interrupt this death threatening moment,” Crystal started. “But can the next Styx song we sing be Renegade?” Just as soon as Crystal asked that, I pulled up the steering wheel, hoping for the chopper to gain altitude before we make the crash landing. To our luck, the chopper lands on its hay bacon skids. Most of us bounced as we crash landed and the helicopter started sliding on the dusty ground until it finally slows down and stops.
We all started to catch our breath. "Is everypony okay?" Aqua asked.
"Yeah we're fine." Psyche said.
"I am so glad my Wafflecopter is unharmed.” I said.
“Your Wafflecopter?!” Spike yelled angrily. “You’re worried about your Wafflecopter more than us?!”
“Oh hush, you’re replicable.” I said as I opened the frozen low-fat butter hatch and hopped out of the chopper. Everypony else followed.
“Luckily I packed some extra syrup.” I said as I used my magic to remove the syrup from the storage area, opened the gas hatch, and started filling it up.
“Ya should keep that thing filled up, mate. I’m really afraid of heights, and that crash landing really made flying a lot harder for me.” Aqua said.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, brah.” I reminded him.
“I don’t think we need that helicopter anymore, man.” Blaze said.
“I know, but this is our getaway.” I said.
“Why don’t we need it anymore, Blaze?” Crystal asked.
“Look." Blaze said as he pointed to the scary looking mountain just 10 yards away from us. The mountain had lots of spikes and a dark cloud swirling around it, while lightning kept striking the top.
"Hey that reminds me of the Citadel from Half-Life: Episode One! Remember when the Citadel had that scary looking cloud swirling around it?" Engie asked.
"Except this time we're getting inside.... not avoiding it." Spike said.
"This is it, partners. Be careful." Engie said.
"I got a bad feeling about this." Spike said.
"This isn't Star Wars, Spike." Engie reminded him. And so, the Noble Six all walked towards the mountain. We saw a cave somewhere at the bottom.
"That must be the entrance to the mountain." Aqua pointed.
"Why would they put it all the way down here?" Blaze asked.
"Hey it saves us the climbin’ at least.” Aqua said. “C'mon let's go in." From the cave, we heard a roar coming from inside. Spike jumped on my back and was shivering in fear.
"Don't be scared, buddy. Just stay on my back. Bros for life right?" I asked with my hoof in front of Spike, hoping for a hoof bump.
"Bros for life." Spike said as he gave me a brohoof. The Noble Six all walked inside the mountain. I was firing flares from my horn to light up the dark cave. The Noble Six all looked around, staying on the alert.
"Stay alert, guys. We don't know about this place. This place was used by the god of chaos, Discord. So there could be some traps." Psyche said.
"Traps? Oh that makes me feel a lot better." Crystal said sarcastically.
“I’m tellin’ ya, this place is scarier than a Motel Six.” Aqua said.
A cutaway shows a family of ponies checking into a Motel Six room. As you can see, like all motels, it’s filthy. A hotel employee showed them inside. “Ok here’s your room.” The employee said to the family. “Ok so the mattresses on the beds aren’t really recommended for the ponies with back problems, so I recommend a rock pillow on your back. Now if you wanna take a shower, we only have cold water and sometimes the water stops, but only if you wash your face that happens; also, there’s a toilet plunger in the bathroom because the toilet backs up a lot. Now if you’re hungry, you can always step on a cockroach and eat that. They say cockroaches are full of vitamins. Don’t use the ceiling fan because it’ll fall once you turn it on.”
The employee turns on the fan switch and the fan falls in the middle of the room. “See? Now you don’t have to worry about that, so no health risks. Also the plastic cups, don’t throw them away, we ‘recycle’ them. Also you may need ear plugs because a lot of gangs like to hang out here with their mares, and they’re pretty crazy, I don’t want to get into details. The pool is opened 24 hours but instead of a bathing suit, you’ll need to wear a hazardous suit. The snow channel is on every channel in the TV, so there’s your entertainment, and if you need us, don’t call us because the phones don’t work, just walk to the lobby. We hope you enjoy your stay at the Motel Six!”
“Thank you!” the stallion said. “See honey? Honesty! That’s what I like at a resort. These people never lie. Not like those fancy hotel people.” The cutaway ends.
A half-hour went by and we just kept on walking; we even climbed a bit, swam through cave waters, and even avoided bats. "How long have we been walking for?" Spike asked.
"Half-hour." Aqua said.
"I am so bored!" Spike complained.
"Well at least you're not scared anymore." Engie said. Just then, we walked inside a corridor that had lit torches on the wall.
"This room is lit. Which means we must be getting close." Aqua said.
"What did you think it meant, doy!" Crystal teased.
“C’mon, we have no time to kid around! We need to find the Mane Six!” Psyche said.
“Took those words right outta my mouth, Psyche.” Aqua said. As we walked through the corridor, we activated a trap. Darts fired out of the walls and launched towards the Noble Six.
"DUCK!" Engie yelled.
We all ducked. Nopony was hit, except for Aqua. A trap door then opened and he fell down, but nopony noticed he was gone at first.
"Those weren't ducks, those were farts…. I MEAN DARTS!” Crystal yelled then laughed. “I can’t even tell a simple joke without saying another joke after that!”
"Ah know, it was a figure of speech." Engie said as we all stood up.
"Hey where did Aqua go?" Blaze asked.
"I dunno; he was right here." Crystal said.
"You think he was hit by a dart?" Psyche asked.
"I'M GETTING THE HAY OUTTA HERE!" a voice that sounded like Aqua cried out from the distance.
"DON'T GO, Aqua! Come back!" Crystal called out as she flew towards the exit. “Don’t be afraid! It was only a fart joke!” As Crystal flew out, the cave collapsed, blocking the exit. A bunch of ash covered the room and everypony started choking. The ash cleared and Crystal was missing.
"Crystal? Crystal where did you go?" Psyche called out.
"OH NO!" Engie cried out. "She wasn't hit by the rocks.... was she?"
"Forget this! Forget you guys!" Crystal said from the other side. "I'm just gonna abandon you here now. Leave you for dead. Flare Gun is not the type of pony you should be hanging with! It’s become of him you ended up here!”
"CRYSTAL?! Crystal what are you talking about?" Blaze asked.
"Yeah, those who hang out with Flare Gun are idiots! Later, losers!" Aqua said from the other side.
"GAH! I can't believe this!" Psyche yelled out in anger. "They've abandoned us! They've betrayed us!"
“No… they betrayed…. No. They didn’t. This is all a sham. Crystal is too slightly lower the average intelligence to betray us and Aqua’s too nice. That didn’t sound like them at all.” I said.
"I-I don't believe this." Psyche said. "But who cares? Who needs them? The five of us are not gonna give up, right?"
"Right.” Blaze agreed.
"Let's get moving then, shall we?" Spike asked. Everypony except me started walking on. I just stood there, questioning myself.
“Flare, are you alright?” Spike asked.
“Don’t hang out with Flare Gun? It’s because of him you’re here?” I asked myself.
“Don’t let that bother you, bro. Like you said, it’s all a sham.” Spike said as he tried to comfort me. “Crystal and Aqua will catch up with us, and you’ll see it’s all trickery from this mountain. Discord made it, remember?”
“Y-yeah. Lawl I do remember.” I said but still concerned. So we walked through the cave and entered a room that had many Discord statues around them.
"Talking about trippy." Spike said.
"Yeah this room sure could use some cleanin’.” Engie said.
"Where's the Mane Six? We've been looking around for 45 minutes already!" Psyche complained.
"This mountain is big. They could be anywhere, dude." Blaze said.
"You got point there, Blaze." Psyche said. He then accidently stepped on a trap, and then all the Discord statues activated and fired a laser that traps them where they're standing.
"And you say I'm the dumb one." I said to Psyche.
"I never said you were dumb." Psyche corrected me.
"Well this is just fine and dandy. What now?" Engie asked.
Psyche looked around the room and saw an opening on the high ceiling. "I see an opening over there. Maybe I could find the controls for these lasers." he said.
"How would you know if there is gonna be any controls?" Spike asked.
"Trust me. These lasers are made out of some sort of technology, which means there should be a control switch or panel somewhere." Psyche explained. "I'll be right back." Psyche flies up into the opening and crawls through.
"I hope he doesn't abandon us either." Engie said.
"What are the odds of that happin twice?" Blaze asked.
"Trust me, Psyche's our buddy! He's very loyal. He won't leave us, I'm sure of it!” I said.
Psyche crawls through the tight space, following the wire that connects to the statues. He then sneezes. "It's so dusty in here! Like an air vent. AAAH! Spider web!" Then a noise howls through the tight space. "Uhh, who's there? Hello?" There was no answer. Psyche kept crawling, following the wire. A dark shadow flashed behind him. Psyche was startled by it, so he turned around, but there was nothing there. He turned back, and saw the flash lunge at him. Psyche's eye pupils shrunk.
Back at the room where Blaze, Engie, Flare, and Spike were, they kept waiting for Psyche to shut off the lasers. "What's taking him so long?" Spike asked.
"Probably met into trouble. Don't worry, he won't abandon us. We're the Noble Six for crying out loud! We never abandon! Mischievous face." I yelled out.
"Yeah, try saying that to Crystal and Aqua." Blaze said.
“Guys, get out while you can!” Psyche called out from the crawl space. “Crimson Flare Gun is a mad pony! Take those Friendship Agreements and stuff it! Save yourselves before Flare Gun destroys you all!”
"You were saying, Flare?" Engie asked.
“HEY! Friendship Agreement, Section 4, Paragraph 6 says you cannot mess with the Friendship Agreement!” I called out.
“I thought that section was we can’t sing a musical number without you?” Spike asked.
“No that’s Section 6, Paragraph 4.” I corrected him.
“GO! ABANDON FLARE! BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!” Psyche called out.
“Do you believe us now, Flare?” Blaze asked.
“NO! I don’t! I refuse to believe it! Psyche would never betray us! NEITHER WOULD AQUA OR CRYSTAL!” I called out as my anger triggers my rail-blast spell which knocks over some of the Discord statues and all the lasers deactivate.
"Nice one, partner." Engie nodded.
"Why didn't you do that before?" Spike asked.
"And waste my magic on perfectly crafted statues? As if. We had no other choice." I said.
“So… four of us left.” Engie said. “Crystal, Psyche, and Aqua are gone.”
"Yeah this is starting to get unreal." Blaze said.
"Like Unreal Tournament?" Spike asked.
“I swear by the Wizard of Hope, they won’t betray us! We’ll find them, as well as the Mane Six, and then we get out of this creepy place and go out for tacos.” I said.
“I like that idea. Let’s roll!” Spike said.
So we walked out of the room and went through a cave with a cliffside. At the bottom of the cliff was full of water and there was even a water fall. "Ah, don't ya'll love the sound of water falls?" Engie asked.
"Don't go chasing them!” Spike teased and chuckled. So we all walked along the cliff edge to the other side. We were afraid they would fall.
"Just don't look down." Blaze instructed us.
"What are you worried about? Ya are a pegasus." Engie said. I then suddenly stepped on the cliff edge and rocks were falling.
"Careful, buddy!" Blaze said.
"Yeah thanks for the warning, brah." I said sarcastically.
"I know, I'm just trying to help out." Blaze said.
"Well you can help out by not being so obvious." I instructed him. While Blaze and Flare were talking to eachother the wall opened, and Engie fell, leaving his wrench behind.
"How you holding up, Engie?" Blaze asked, but there was no answer. Blaze looked back. "Uh, Engie? Where did you go?"
"What happened? Where's Engie?" I asked.
"FLARE IS A SPY! RUN, BLAZE! RUN, SPIKE! GET OUT!” Engie called out.
“Actually…. I’m not surprised. Engie looks like the betraying type of pony.” I said.
“I dunno, man. He’s not the type of pony to leave his wrench behind.” Blaze said as he pointed to the wrench leaning against the cliff edge. I picked up the wrench and placed it in my vest pocket.
“This isn’t quite right. Why would they all betray us at once?” Spike asked.
“Brah, they’re not betraying all of us. They’re betraying just me.” I said. “JEEZ! I wouldn’t mind so much if it wasn’t JUST ME getting betrayed! Why can’t all of us get betrayed instead of me being the only one?! I really don’t like being the only one!”
“I know how you feel, dude.” Spike nodded.
"Alright, from now on, we're sticking together. Nopony, or no dragon, is getting separated from the group. We're all sticking together like glue." Blaze said.
"Ok but not glue sticks. They don’t really work. They always get dirty and unusable.” I said.
"I'm staying by your side, guys. You're like family to me and I'll do all I can to keep you both safe." Blaze said as he his hoof around me.
"Thanks, Blaze!" I smiled and said. "Now don't let go of me and Spike; you stay on my back. Let's go. If we keep physical contact with eachother (wow that doesn’t right), we’ll be safe." I said. So we all walked out of the water fall cave and went into another cave with checker board floors.
"Wait, guys. I sense a trap." Blaze said.
"Yeah I think I see it too. If we step on one of those tiles, a trap activates." I pointed out.
“Well, either that or a MOTHERLODE of gems appear! That would be amazing!” Spike said in excitement as stars appeared on his eye pupils.
"Don't worry, I can just fly us over-“ Blaze said as he got interrupted by spears that popped out from the ceiling. "I guess we have no choice, but to walk."
"BLAZE! Your hoof isn't around me! Come back!" I yelled.
"Oh sorry! I’m right here, man. Blaze said as he put his hoof around me again and we started walking on the checkerboard tiles. So far, no trap activated.
"You hanging in there, Spike?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Spike said.
"Blaze, you still with me right?" I asked.
"I am right here, Flare, and I'll never let go. Wherever I go, you go with me." Blaze said. "I'm not leaving you two alone."
"Nopony in Mareami ever cared about me this much, brah. Thank you. Thank all of you, and the Noble Six.” I started to get teary eyed a bit. “If you all weren’t here by my side, I don’t think I would’ve survived this, even with my armor lock.”
"You're one of the only ponies that accepts me for who I am. I know I'm part dragon, and you didn't even run away." Blaze said.
"Of course not! Bros for life, right?" I asked.
"Bros for life." Blaze said. Just then, a fly buzzed by and it landed on a tile, and then the room started to get all smoky.
"Surprise face!" I yelled.. "NO BLAZE! YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE! You still there, buddy?!"
"I'm still here!" Spike said.
"Not you! Blaze!" I said. “I still feel your hoof! You still there, buddy?!” I did feel something around my back but I couldn’t hear his voice.
"Blaze?!" I called out as the smoke started to clear. "BLAZE?!” I looked behind me, and the only thing around my back was giant sack shaped like a pony-hoof, but there wasn’t a pony hoof inside, it was just filled with straw. “HOLY WIZARD OF FEELINGS!”
"Okay, now I'm really scared." Spike said as he started to grab my neck real tight.
"Hey, hey! You're starting to choke me!" I choked.
"Oh, sorry." Spike said as he released his grip from my neck.
"Alright, where was I?" I asked myself. "Oh right. NOOOO, BLAZE!"
"He didn't abandon us too, did he?" Spike asked.
"NO! Blaze is a loyal friend! Out of all of them, Blaze would never abandon whoever's loyal to him! Nopony!" I yelled. "Him and the others were obviously captured.
"Flare, I just wanted to let you know..... that I..... I accidently wrote over your 100% completion saved game in G-T-A 4." Spike admitted.
"It's okay, dude." I said. "Wait, WHAT?! I worked forever on that! Very angry panda face!"
"Look, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you!" Spike begged. “Whoa, angry panda face! That’s big.”
"Sigh. Don't worry, brah. I don't have time to blame you for anything. Our friends are in trouble, and it's up to us to save them now." I said.
“I’m scared, Flare.” Spike said.
“I am too. I’ve never been so scared in my life, and I played Five Nights at Freddy’s.” I admitted.
“But we cannot stop. We have to keep going. Whatever’s going to get thrown at us, we’ll take anything.” Spike said.
“I’m not gonna stand and wait around. I’m just going to run, and I’m going to have my horn ready. I’ll use my Shoop Da Whoop, Laser Blast, Bubble Shield, or anything that’ll stop trouble! We will win this!” I yelled.
"Then stop talking, and onward!" Spike yelled as he kicks my behind. "CHARGE!"
"Dude, I'm a pony, not a horse." I reminded him.
"What's the difference?" Spike asked.
"Good point." I nodded. "FOR THE WIZARDS OF HOPE, STRENGTH, AND FEELINGS, AND FOR GREAT EQUESTRIA AND SHTAIRS!" I yelled out as I charged through the caves. I ran through the caves for 5 minutes, non-stop, avoiding all the traps I could find along the way. Nothing was gonna stop me! I have a mission to do! Now normally I get tired after all this running, but I’m so frustrated and scared that I forgot how to be tired! I didn’t even know that was a thing! After a while, I ran into a cave full of gems.
"NO WAY! FLARE, STOP!” Spike yelled.
I stopped, but I dunno why though. My hooves screeched like a car break as I stopped. “No! We cannot stop! Not until we find our friends!”
“But, it's.... so beautiful!” Spike’s mouth started to water. “So delicious! So.... I have to try one!" Spike reaches for a gem on a cave spike, but then I slapped his hand out of the way. "OW! Slappy much?"
"NO! We're not touching anything." I demanded. “I’m gonna start running again in a second, and you better stick to me!”
"Who made you the boss of me?" Spike asked angrily.
"I'm not being the boss, I'm just telling you, you shouldn't touch anything. It can trigger a trap. Now we're just gonna walk through this room, and we're not gonna touch anything, capiche?" I asked. Spike nodded. "Alright, let's go." I walked through the cave. Spike tried his hardest not to touch anything, but the gems started talking to him.
"Spike.... Spike..... eat us Spike. We're shiny, and delicious." A gem said.
"Our main purpose is to be eaten by you, Spike." another gem said.
"Leave this pony behind, and just dig in." another, another gem said.
"He's obviously holding you back. Just eat us. It's what you want!" another, another, another gem said.
"Spike, you still with me?" I asked. "Spike?" Spike shook his head real fast.
"Yeah, don't worry, Flare. I'm touching anything." Spike said with his arms crossed and eyes closed.
"Just keep holding it in. We're almost out!" I said.
"Eat us. Eat us. Eat us. Eat us." all the gems kept saying.
"Well, it wouldn't hurt just to have one." Spike said as he grabbed a gem from the ceiling and ate it. “Mmm mmm!”
“SPIKE!?” I called out. “BRAH! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!”
“Cool your jets, man! I just had one, and nothing happened!” Spike said.
“I told you not to touch anything! You could’ve been captured too, and I would be all alone!” I yelled.
“Well excuse me, but I’ve been alone in the library many times, being left out of many things that you thought was unfair, and I was completely ok with it. You on the other hand always complain about being left out, and not to mention, you left me out of a lot of things too.” Spike explained.
“Oh yeah? Name one.” I instructed him
“Being a model.” Spike said.
“Name five more.” I instructed him.
“Going out to dinner, going out to lunch, going out for breakfast, going out for dessert, and going out for 3:00 pizza.” Spike said.
“Name 10 more.” I instructed him.
“Playing games, watching TV at the shop, visiting ponies, going out for cider, going cart surfing, Mother’s Day, going to the movies, board game night, Dungeons and Dragons.” Spike said.
“Ok so I left you out of a few things, so what?” I asked.
“So what? When we first met, you vowed to help me be a part of a group, but so far you’re doing the same thing as the Mane Six! You’re leaving me out! You’re no better than them!” Spike complained as his eyes had vortexes on them.
“Bro, you’ve been brainwashed. I know what vortex eyes are. You don’t know what you’re saying! Snap out of it!” I instructed him.
“No.” Spike said as he hopped off my back.
“Spike, get back on my back!” I demanded.
“No.” Spike said.
“Spike, please! Get on my back!” I begged.
“Nope.” Spike said.
“What do you want? Free gems? I’ll give you all the gems you want.” I offered.
“Are you stupid? We’re in a room full of gems! I’ll just stay here. You go on ahead.” Spike said as he hoped on a pile of gems and laid down.
“Spike, I am really scared and really confused. I’m sure you are too.” I said.
“No I’m not. I’m actually happy here. The only thing that’s missing is you gone.” Spike said. I was really shocked. I knew the gem he ate brainwashed him, but something deep down inside me was telling me otherwise.
“SPIKE, PLEASE! I’LL DO ANYTHING! I’LL BE YOUR SLAVE!” I begged in the same way I begged when I was a kid to make friends. I started gaining flashbacks of me saying that exact phrase, ‘I’ll do anything, I’ll be your slave’. No! I will not let me past haunt me. I must gain control. “Fine, brah. Fine. Stay here, and I’ll be back for-“ but he was gone before I could finish that sentence. I started to get REALLY scared. I was all alone. Aqua’s gone, Crystal’s gone, Psyche’s gone, Engie’s gone, Blaze’s gone, Spike’s gone, I’m all alone in this strange place now. I knew something was out to get me, but I don’t know what. The only thing left I had to do was wait and see. I had to continue walking. If I could find the Mane Six, they could find a solution to get my friends back and get out of here before this place gets the better of me, but after 15 minutes, it did. I began to talk to myself.
"Stay with us, Flare! You're talking nonsense! But, Flare they abandoned me! No, don't talk like that, they were captured and we.... or I must find them!" I just began arguing with myself. "But it's so obvious they think you annoying. That is not true! Yes it is! No it isn't! Yes it isn't! No it isn't, infinity! LAWL! Got you! Oh real mature, brah. Hey, how about we stop arguing and we look for the others? Either way goes. We either find them, or we get captured. If we-or I get captured then I might catch up with them! Happy face! I am such a genius! Okay, but first we need to trigger a trap." i started touching everything and stomping on the ground. I was running through the cave corridors, touching all the walls, and stepping everywhere and laughing like crazy, but there were no traps. "C'mon, there's gotta be a trap around here somewhere!" I freaked out. "WHY CAN'T YOU CAPTURE ME TOO?!" I yelled. “Oh man, I’m so screwed! I’m more screwed than a be-boop-ba-koo-kee-ba-booooo!”
A cutaway shows…. I dunno what the cutaway gag shows. It was just a bunch of random things like a blender, a chainsaw, a pickaxe, a Tonka truck, and even a Bubba toy. “Look at you, going crazy.” Sheldon Cooper said as he chuckled. “Bazinga! I am your father! I’m Batman! Shhhhh!” The very strange cutaway ends.
“AAAAAH!” I screamed. “I AM SO CONFUSED!” I then collapsed to the ground and laid there with my eyes and arms twitching. “This can’t be happening to me! This really can’t be happening! Oh for Wizard of Hope’s sake, I’m going crazy! It’s the mountain! No… no! I will not let the mountain control my mind! AAAAH! MANE SIX! NOBLE SIX! SPIKE! WHERE ARE YOU?!”
“Right here, son Flare.” Fluttershy said.
“MAMA FLUTTERSHY?!” I called out. “WHERE ARE YOU?!”
“Right here, sugarcube.” AppleJack said.
“Oh… Mane Six! Thank goodness! Oh sweet Luna! I can’t take this anymore! You girls know what’s going on, sistas?” I asked.
“We’re not your sistas.” Rarity said.
“I know, it was a slang. You know that.” I reminded her.
“We never liked your slangs, Flare. We now know the true error of our ways.” Rainbow Dash said.
“I’m friends with everypony, Flare. Everypony…. Except you.” Pinkie said. “You’re the only one in the whole world I hate.”
“Pinks, lawl, stop fooling around!” I chuckled.
“Oh listen to you, you sound stupid.” Pinkie said.
“Says the pony that likes to talk the combination of Spanish and Penguin. Spanish penguin!” I said.
“That is true, but I will not agree. You’re right, but I’m gonna say you’re wrong. YOU ARE WRONG!” Pinkie yelled.
“Why did you come to Ponyville, Flare? Everything was going along just fine until you showed up.” Twilight said.
“The nerve of some ponies. Crimson Flare Gun leaves his family and hometown for his own purposes. Sound pretty mighty stubborn if you ask me.” AppleJack said.
“Friendship is magic, Flare, but somepony as idiotic as yourself will never know of it.” Twilight said.
“Friendship is magic? Oh I thought friendship was epic? I mean…. You know….” I thought.
“Pathetic. So pathetic.” Rainbow said.
“You’re annoying, Flare Gun. So very annoying.” Fluttershy said.
“B-but…” I stuttered.
“I’m not your mother, Flare.” Fluttershy said.
“I…I didn’t call you Mama Fluttershy.” I corrected her.
“Oh… I… I thought you were going to.” Fluttershy corrected herself.
"Kay, congratulations, this is the most awkward conversation I ever had, and the most confusing." I said.
"Nopony really cares about you." Rarity said.
“I’m really getting offended now, girls!” I said. “WE’RE FRIENDS! SAY YOU’RE FRIENDS WITH ME! RIGHT NOW!”
"Friends with you? HA! That's not even funny." Pinkie said. "You never were funny. We were never really friends with you! We just did that, because we felt sorry for you."
"Well.... at least you felt sorry for me." I nodded.
"Not anymore." Rainbow said. "We found out that you're a type of pony that reminds some ponies aren’t meant to have friends. Your spells are stupid. Especially the SHOOP DA WHOOP. What kind of spell is that? You're obviously a mary-sue."
"I AM NOT A MARY-SUE!" I yelled.
"Yes you are. Nopony should be that powerful." Rarity said.
"I'm not even that powerful!" I yelled.
"Just keep your spells to yerself, loser." AppleJack said.
"Oh, and not to mention your pizza. Worst stuff ever! Bleh!" Pinkie said.
"Worst? You less then three my pizza! Everypony did!" I said.
"Nopony really liked your pizza. It was in the drinks actually. After they took their first bite, they just drunk down the taste. They ate at your shop so you wouldn't be upset. The Princesses too. You're a terrible cook!" Twilight said.
"And your fish.... why do ya'll care about fish? It's so lame!" AppleJack said. "They're just fish!"
"They're not just fish! They're my family!" I yelled.
"Pathetic." Fluttershy said.
"Face it, Flare Gun. You have no friends. Never had, never will." Twilight said. "And stop saying 'less then three', and 'brah'. I mean, you're calling everypony a mare's clothing! It's stupid!"
“Twilight, that's not like you!” I really started freaking out now. I started losing even more will than I ever had before.
"It is Flare." Twilight said. "You've shamed us all, and don't worry about your Noble Six. I'm sure it's died out by now."
"Alright, shut up. You're lying!" I yelled as tears started to fall out of my eyes.
"Don't believe me? Here's proof." Twilight said as she uses her magic to show me surveillance of the Noble Six running away.
"Phew! Good thing we left Flare in there to die." Psyche said in relief.
"Yeah, it wasn't easy. I can't believe we had to stick to that pony for these past months, and these past adventures!" Aqua said.
"He would totally be a failure if he joined mah matches and such." Engie said.
"Yeah, he wasn't much help either, and the Noble Six? Lamest name ever; and all of Flare's jokes are actually stolen! So he's not really funny. Being original is funny, he's not being original." Crystal said. “Ok maybe he’s original sometimes.”
"Wow, and I can't believe I said all that stuff about him about thinking he's family! The closest of family he'd ever be with me, is his big stupid plot!" Blaze said.
"Well, at least he likes my plot." I said.
"Oh, I take that back. I hate that plot. I prefer even hobo's plot, from Trottingham!" Blaze corrected himself.
"Yeah, well. Let's talk more about this when we get home. Goodbye forever, Crimson Flare Gun." Psyche said as they ran away.
"See? Nopony cares about you." Twilight said.
I started punching my head. "I'M DREAMING! THIS IS A NIGHTMARE! IT'S NOT REAL!" I yelled. “OW! But this pain does!”
"Stop fooling around, Flare. You should disappear off the face of the Earth…. if you want to make it up to us." Twilight said as the Mane Six all began to angrily walk away.
"Flutters... please!” I begged. Fluttershy just whacks me in the face with her tail and walked out.
“That was the longest I’ve ever had to go through, and I’ve seen a bunch of interweb rants, but still…. I cannot believe this. It must be true. Everypony has betrayed me.” I started to really tear up. “Crying face. A-a-and… if….. a-and if…. A-and if…. A-and if…. Hold on.” I opened up my head and it revealed a record player.
All the stuttering was caused by the record scratching so I take it out, clean it on my vest and place it back in, and then I close my head and continued weeping and saying, “And if the Mane Six say it..... and if the Noble Six abandoned me..... it must be true. I am never meant to have friends." The song 'How could this happen to me', by Simple Plan plays in the background as tears fall out of my eyes. Afterwords, I turned off my Ipod and the song stopped playing. “This song doesn’t really help my situation. It just makes me feel worse.” I then started to sob. I sobbed very loud and I even made a puddle where I’m laying down. Just then, a dark shadow appears behind me.
"There there, Flare Gun. No need to suffer anymore." A voice said.
"Just go away. Leave me alone! Crying face. Boo hoo! Sob. Weep." I said as I continued to cry.
"But you and I have a future." The voice said. "We shall avenge the stress and suffering they put you through. You moved to Ponyville to get away from it all, and it followed you, and they say they're suppose to support friendship. It's time to teach the Mane Six a lesson."
I sniffed and turned towards the shadow. "W-who are you?" I asked.
The shadow revealed himself. "I am Discord, God of Chaos." he said.
"Heh… Discord, Dat Cord." I teased as I attempted to cheer myself up. “Oh.... and I heard about you. I'm a fan of your work. God of Chaos? More like God of Humor! Lawl…” I was still weeping a bit.
"Indeed." Discord said.
"Why are you all blurry, and..... how come my hoof can go right through you?" I asked as I was trying to touch him but my hoof just went right through him.
"Oh believe me, even if I wasn’t a hologram, your hoof would still go through me.” Discord said as he chuckled a bit. "You see that statue over there?" Discord points to a statue of him. "That's actually me. Somepony already tried to break me free, but failed. All they could do is put a little hologram device on me and now only my spirit broke free."
"So, you're like a ghost right?" I asked.
"Are you scared?" Discord asked as he changes his form to look like a ghost. "My powers can change my form, but my powers can only work fully if my body was free. Your old doctor friend said that you might be the one to help me!"
"How?" I asked.
"You must release your anger. Your true powers will be awoken once you released it." Discord said. "Once you become powerful, you can use your SHOOP DA WHOOP spell to break me free! By the way, I love Lazor Collection. Especially number 4! It’s all scribbly and wavy.” Discord changes his form to look like a bunch of tangled lines. “But you cannot free me now. The doctor says you must take your time to let your anger flow around you.”
"Who the hay is the Doctor?" I asked.
"That information is classified at this time. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEEEEP!" Discord said as he changes his form to look like an answering machine.
"Hey, I said that joke a couple of times.” I pointed out.
"Join me, Flare Gun, and together we can rule Equestria, as father and son!" Discord said.
“Thanks for your offer Dis- wait, what?” I asked.
“Sorry, I just really wanted to say that.” Discord said.
"Thanks for your offer Discord.... and Dat Cord.” I chuckled a bit.
Discord laughs along. "I like your sense of humor! Sense of humor is what I really like as a chaotic apprentice.” Discord said.
"Well, I appreciate your offer.” I nodded. “But I can't. I mean, even though nopony cares about me anymore, that doesn't mean I have to go against them. I’ll be no better than them. I will not stand to their level! I apologize Discord and Dat Cord. HA! Kay it's getting old. But I must do what's right."
"I see." Discord said. "Well, if that's how you wanna be. Then I respect your decision."
"Thanks, brah!" I said.
"GUARDS!" Discord yelled. Just then, a couple of Royal Guards busted into the room, and held me down.
“HEY! Ask me nicely to lay down next time instead of holding me!” I complained. “Wait… you’re the missing royal guards!”
"Yes, as you can see, I brainwashed them to work for me. Since you can't join me yourself. Then we shall force you!" Discord said as a royal guard appears with some sort of stamp. “The doctor made this little device that can turn a pony into my control!"
"Ew, why do these royal guards have scars on their eyes?" I asked as I saw all the royal guards have strange red ‘S’es on their left eyes.
"I'll show you. Let's get this party started, or die trying.” Discord said as he started laughing evilly. A royal guard takes a stamp with a backwards ‘S’ on it.
“NOT THE FACE!” I yelled as the guard stamps the red ‘S’ right onto my left eye. "OUCH! That really hurt!"
"Release him." Discord ordered the guards. The royal guards released me, and one of them gives me a mirror. I looked in the mirror and gasped.
“Surprised?” Discord asked.
“AM I?! My mane is all messed up!” I complained. “Oh and look at my vest! It’s all dusty! Dang!”
“Oh don’t worry. After we’re done brainwashing you, we can give you a change of clothes and you can brush your mane after.” Discord said as he was brushing his long wavy blonde hair. “You know with this hair, I’d make a good biker chick.”
"So in order to brainwash me, you have to put a scar on my eye?" I asked. "I may look evil now, but I don't feel evil."
"Oh, it'll kick in." Discord said.
Just then, I kicked a Royal Guard in the shin. “OW!” the guard yelled.
"A kick like that?” I teased. “Lawl lawl lawl lawl lawl la- wait…. what? I'm starting to feel something. I guess this is the part I fall on the ground, hold my face, and scream, right?"
"Actually it is." Discord nodded.
"Good, just wondering." I said. "Kay, I'll do it, in 3.... 2..... WAIT! I need to go the bathroom."
"Can't you go the bathroom until after your transformation?" Discord asked.
"Sigh. Fine." I complained. After a few moments, I then fall on the ground, holding my face and started screaming. "AAAAAH! This really hurts! What's happing to me?! Also I’m faking this yelling! I feel more angry than pain! I'm starting to feel.... AAAH!”
“You’re starting to feel ‘aaaah’? I have no idea what that means. Care to explain?” Discord teased.
“FOR WIZARD OF HOPE’S SAKE, WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!” I yelled.
"Yes, your anger is growing! Your fear, your hate! It's time for you to be my loyal apprentice, and you will torture the Mane Six, so the Elements of Harmony will be no more! Then you'll be powerful enough to free me from my prison, and together, we will rule Equestria as father and son!" Discord yelled as he then laughed evilly. “Sorry, I can’t help it! I love saying that!”
My eyes were closed. I then stopped screaming, and I let go of my face. Then I opened my eyes, and my eyes turned yellow and red. I then made an evil glare and breathed heavily. “Evil lawl lawl lawl.” I said.
TO BE CONTINUED.....
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