In Twilight's Hooves
One morning, around 11 AM, my friends and I returned at my trailer after a long day of paint-ball. Our camouflage armor was half-covered in blue paint, but mine was covered in orange paint. “If nopony’s gonna say it, I will. We really suck at paintball.” Aqua said.
“That was absolutely humiliating.” Psyche said.
“Oh, come on, guys! Some battles you win, and some battles you lose.” Blaze said, attempting to cheer us up.
“Yes, but you don’t have to lose to Featherweight’s Cutesinera.” Psyche said.
A cutaway shows a flashback that happened earlier that morning of Psyche, Blaze, Engie, Aqua, and I playing paintball, but during this time, the five of us were falling back to the shed. Once we got back, we closed the door shut tight, and tried to catch our breath. “That was close.” Aqua said.
Engie then inhaled deeply and said, “Luna! Ah love the smell of paintballs in the mornin’!”
“Yeah, still funny, Engie.” Psyche said.
“There’s no way we can get to the ridge! Featherweight’s Cutesinera has us completely cut off!” Blaze said.
“But what about the creek bed?” Aqua asked.
“The Apple family has control of that.” Psyche said.
“Get outta there and face us like stallions, you cowardly varmints!” Granny Smith yelled from outside.
“Well, that’s it then. We’re doomed.” Engie said.
“I think the time has come to acknowledge that we are paying the price for SOME OF US failing to attend my Noble Six Paintball Strategy Meet, as well as the costume meeting for Pinkie’s Cosplay Party.” I pointed out as I glared at Blaze.
“I told you; I accidentally swallowed a bunch of bees after buying some of that infested honey.” Blaze reminded me.
“And I told YOOOOU… I wanted to see a doctor’s note!” I reminded him.
“Ah got an idea! How about we hide behind the dumpsters, and we ambush ponies when they need to pee?” Engie suggested.
“No go. The dumpsters are deep in Cake Territory.” Psyche said.
“Any of you dears want some cupcakes?” Mrs. Cake asked as she walked inside our shed and offered us some.
“Oh boy, ah’m starvin’!” Engie said excitedly.
Just then, I jumped in between Engie and Mrs. Cake and aimed my paintball gun right at Mrs. Cake. “Just walk away, Cake, and nopony’s uniform gets hurt.” I threatened her.
“Oh… umm… alright.” Mrs. Cake said awkwardly as she walked away.
“Why did you do that?” Engie asked.
“Accepting food from the enemy? You of all ponies should know at least the simplest things from the battlefield.” I said.
“Flare, this is just a game.” Blaze said.
“Just a game?! Monopoly is just a game; Checkers is just a game; Life is just a game, and not just the board game, life itself. No, this is WAR, gentlecolts! This is a war to keep our uniforms clean!” I explained. “Now I say what we need to do is plan a tactical retreat. Now, did any of you play Call of Duty 2 and play that second D-Day level about mostly falling back?” I asked.
“No.” Blaze said.
“Well, that’s not important. Now, Engie, Psyche, Aqua, and I will run away, Blaze you cover us.” I instructed them.
“Hang on, why don’t I run with you?” Blaze asked.
“Because you chose bees over victory,” I said as Blaze spat out a bee from his mouth. The cutaway ends.
“But you didn’t obey my strategies, and you all ended up being slaughtered.” I said.
“Hey it was worth it when Blaze shot you.” Psyche said.
I looked at my armor and saw all the orange paint on me. “Well even if you all weren’t slaughtered, you would be court marshaled.” I said.
“What’s up, daddy-o’s?” Crystal asked as she barged inside my trailer.
“Implying that we’re all dads and cheerios, we’re doing just fine.” I nodded.
“Why do you take everything so literally?” Psyche asked me.
“Yeah Crystal, why?” I asked her
“I don’t even know! I can’t control it!” Crystal cried out.
“Well, I dunno about yaguys, but I’m just gonna sit here and watch some TV, and wait for my turn to use the shower.” Aqua said as he sat on the couch.
“Aqua’s in my spo-ot.” I sang.
“Are ya gonna use it?” Aqua asked.
“Not at the moment, no. I’m going to use the shower first.” I said.
“Then why don’t I sit here?” Aqua asked.
“Why don’t you sit there?” I repeated.
“Here we go.” Blaze said as he rolled his eyes.
“That is my spot. In an ever-changing world, it is a single point of consistency. If my life were expressed as a function on a miles on a carriage, that spot at the moment I first sat on it would be zero-zero-zero-zero.” I explained.
“I bet you don’t even know consistency means.” Psyche said.
“I do so know what it means!” I corrected him.
“Oh yeah? What does it mean?” Psyche asked mischievously.
“Oh shut up!” I said angrily as I walked into my bathroom so I can take a shower, and Psyche started to chuckle to himself.
“Ah dunno why he’s takin’ a shower first. He always takes the longest showers.” Engie said.
“Meh, it’s his house. Let him waste all his money on the water.” Aqua said.
“Oh right, I almost forgot.” I said as I walked out of my bathroom, and stuck a tube on Aqua’s horn. “You’re still in my spot.” I reminded him, and then Aqua slides over to the next part of the couch just to shut me up… well, Aqua wouldn’t say to shut me up, that’s more of Psyche’s or Blaze’s words.
“Alright, I moved. Happy now, Flare?” Aqua asked.
“I’m not unhappy.” I said as I walked back inside the bathroom to take a shower.
“Why doesn’t he just use his own magic?” Aqua asked.
“I wouldn’t ask him if I were you, Aqua.” Psyche said. “It would just create more problems than it would solve.”
“Boy, I sure do love Flare, but he’s one serious wackadoodle.” Crystal said.
“Serious is one of the things I wouldn’t call him.” Psyche said.
“Flare’s a pain, but he’s loyal, and kind, and he needs us.” Blaze said. "If we weren't around, trust me, we'd be the ones to take the pain."
"By that do you mean he'll slaughter us?" Engie asked.
"No, I mean, he's gonna be upset the rest of his life and we'd feel guilty. He's like Fillex on the Odd Couple." Blaze said.
"Trust me, Blaze. I don't think ANY of us will survive without eachother." Aqua said. "It's us against the world, right?"
"Right." Blaze said. "Without you five, well.... there is no Blaze Goldheart."
"Don't lie. You will still have Dashie." Engie pointed out.
"Right." Blaze agreed.
“Oh cool is this one of those paintball guns you use?” Crystal asked as she picks up Blaze’s paintball gun.
“Yeah! You should come and play with us sometime!” Blaze said.
“Oh no thanks. Normally when I wanna shoot things, it’s mainly because I want them to leave my coltfriend alone. Ol Thundy can’t take care of himself.” Crystal said as she accidently pulls the trigger of the paintball gun and orange paint stains cover a part of my spot on the couch. Crystal gasps after she does that.
“Oh ho ho! This is so rich!” Engie chuckled. “This is much funnier than the time ah gave mah twin nephews those clothes.” A cutaway shows Engie dressing a couple of identical foals with matching outfits. One of the outfits on one of the twins said CTRL+C, and the other twin’s outfit said CTRL+V. Engie chuckles after he dresses them. “Oh this is gonna be a classic!”
“Excuse me?! Who are you?! What are you doing to mah babies!” a mare yelled at Engie as she entered the room.
“Oh that’s right, ah don’t have nephews.” Engie remembered. The cutaway ends.
Meanwhile at the Golden Oak Library, Spike was playing Devil May Cry 4 on my spare XBUCKS that he didn’t have permission to take, where his player was fighting Echidna the She-Viper. "WHOA MY CELESTIA!" he yelled. "That thing just came outta nowhere! Scared the butterflies outta me! FAUST! Wow, riding this thing sure is fun! That's right, punch it. Wouldn't do you any good anyway, bro. WHOA! He just hit the tree. George of the Jungle anypony? Wow, he's good. Try some what on for size?” While Spike was playing, Twilight teleported over to the kitchen with a blanket around her, and a red nose. Spike didn’t pay attention to her, so Twilight goes through her cabinet to find a mug, and she fills it with water. Twilight then uses her magic to make the water boil, and then she levitates a tea-bag over to the cup to make tea. When Twilight turns around, she gets startled by Spike’s presents as he was standing right in front of her. “Twilight, how many times do I have to say it?” he asked.
“Oh, Spike! I… I thought you were… playing your game?” Twilight asked embarrassingly.
“I needed to get some water. Look, Twilight, you don’t have to get the tea yourself. You’re sick as a dog, and you need bed rest.” Spike said.
“Well, technically speaking, dogs don’t normally get sick as much as us ponies do. Their immune systems are more….” Twilight explained trying to change the subject, but Spike just glares at her. “Look, I didn’t want to bother you. You were busy on your game, and I thought you did enough for me today.”
“Twilight, its okay. You need bed rest. Now let me boil up that tea that for you.” Spike insisted.
“Oh, it’s okay, Spike.” Twilight said as she sniffled. “I already boiled it to the right temperature.” But while Twilight was talking, Spike blows some of his fire breath right on the tea mug, and the water inside the mug completely vaporized. “Spike, I just said-!” she said angrily, but then she notices the scroll laying on the floor. “Oh. It’s a letter from the princess.”
Spike opens up the scroll and begins to read it. The scroll says: “You are about to receive a message from Princess Celestia.” Just then, Spike burps up another scroll.
“Oh! It’s a letter from the princess.” Twilight said again.
Spike opens up the other scroll and begins to read it: “Dearest Twilight Sparkle,
As you know, you’ve been my personal student for many years, but even though you haven’t been in my school’s regular classes, I’d love it if you would join the other students in my school for a reunion.”
“A reunion?” Twilight asked.
“This will be an excellent chance for you to get to know the other students you haven’t been able to social with much.” Spike continued reading.
“Oh trust me there’s a reason for that.” Twilight sniffled and said.
“But if you do not think it would work out, the main reason I want you to come is for you to listen to me as I give out secrets of my most secretive spells; ones unknown to all of ponykind.” Spike continued.
“What?! Princess Celestia has secret spells, the most secretive spells unknown to all of ponykind, and I’m too sick to go!?” Twilight yelled angrily. “Wait, maybe I’ll have some time. The medicine Zecora gave me is supposed to take effect in two days. When will the reunion start?”
“Tomorrow.” Spike read.
“Oh… well that’s a big bummer alright.” Twilight said upsettingly.
“I’m sorry, Twilight, that you won’t be able to go.” Spike said.
“Ooooh…” Twilight sniffed and pats Spike’s head. “It’s alright, Spike. It’s not like those spells were important anyway… Princess Celestia’s secret spells… spells that are so secretive that it is unknown to all of ponykind, and she’ll only be sharing them that one night- GAAAAAAAAAH!” Twilight huffed.
“Twilight, calm down!” Spike instructed her.
“Calm down? Calm down?! This is not a good time to calm down, Spike! This is the princess’s most secretive spells! She doesn’t just tell any pony at any moment of any day! Do you realize what this means, Spike?!” Twilight freaked out.
“For you screaming on my face, you’re getting saliva on me, and you’re going to make me sick to?” Spike teased.
“Spike! This is serious! I’ll never have another chance for this again! I have to go to that reunion!” Twilight said.
“But what about your illness?” Spike asked.
Twilight starts groaning. “Can’t this cure go any faster?!”
“Twilight…” Spike said trying to calm her down.
“You’re right, Spike, you’re right. I’m overreacting a bit. I’ll need to think of a plan. Now can I go to that reunion without getting other ponies sick?” Twilight asked herself.
“You can try making a clone of yourself.” Spike suggested.
“Even if that were possible, if I gave the clone some of my DNA in my current state, she’ll be born sick.” Twilight said.
“If you didn’t think making clones was possible, how did you know it would be born sick?” Spike asked.
“It’s common sense!” Twilight said and sniffled.
“How can it be common sense if it doesn’t exist?” Spike asked.
“Spike, this is no time for jokes! I have to think of a way to get to the reunion but without being there, but how is that possible?” Twilight asked.
“Why don’t you just get another unicorn to impersonate as you, and they’ll have little gadgets on them, like a camera and a mic, so it’ll be like you’re actually there, like a simulation for example.” Spike suggested.
“Wait, what?” Twilight asked.
“Yeah, that was another joke. Sorry, Twilight.” Spike said.
“No, wait… that’s actually genius! Oh, but where am I going to get these gadgets, and who will impersonate as me, and who can make them look like me? Who knows a lot of interesting magic; something the average unicorn doesn’t have?” Twilight asked.
“Rarity?” Spike suggested.
“She was actually my first choice, and somehow, I knew she was going to be your first choice.” Twilight said as she smirked at him.
“Actually my first choice was going to be Pokey Pierce, but then I remembered Rarity’s a unicorn.” Spike said.
“How can you not know?” Twilight asked.
“I spend more time looking at her hair, and her eyes.” Spike said as he looks like he’s about to doze off.
“So you look at her hair, but you don’t notice she’s a unico- nevermind. Anyways, Rarity says she’s busy with an important client tomorrow night.” Twilight said.
“All clients are important to her. Just ask Sweetie Belle.” Spike said.
Anypony else in mind?” Twilight asked.
“Lyra?” Spike suggested.
“Oh no, if this is going to be a reunion, you’re going to have to go, and you and Lyra just… don’t get along that well.” Twilight said.
“Oh c’mon! It was just a harmless joke!” Spike yelled. A cutaway shows Spike holding out his hand in front of Lyra saying, “Hey, gimmie five.”
“Oh shut up! I hate it when you tease me like that.” Lyra complained as she glares at Spike and smacks his hand away with her hoof. The cutaway ends.
“Well the only other unicorns I can think of that may be interested is Aqua or Flare.” Spike said.
“Then I guess one of them will have to do. I’ll give them a call.” Twilight said.
“I already have a feeling that this may not go as well as you predict.” Spike said.
“I know Aqua’s not really a talkative type with ponies he doesn’t know and he tends to be shy, and I know Flare may mess things up by acting too much of himself than to me, but I am desperate to learn Princess Celestia’s secret spells, and if this is the only way, then I have no other alternative.” Twilight said.
“Well I’m still opened to Rarity going.” Spike said.
Back at my trailer, I was still in the shower, but my friends were worried because Crystal sprayed paintball on my spot. I’m guessing because I’m narrating the story, it’s obvious I’ll find out sooner or later, but let’s see how soon it’ll take. “You think he’ll notice?” Crystal asked.
“If Flare’s the amazin’ cook he claims to be, he should pay attention to detail, especially somethin’ like this.” Aqua said.
“Oh what are we gonna do? Flare’s going to be out of the shower soon; we need to think of something.” Crystal said.
“Well one thing’s for sure, you are screeeeeeewed!” Engie teased.
“Why do we have to tell him I did it?” Crystal asked.
“We’re not gonna tell him we did it.” Engie said.
“Yeah, I’m right now in 2 strikes; 3 strikes and you’re out.” Blaze said.
“What were you’re two strikes?” Engie asked.
“Well this was when I got Chinese food.” Blaze said.
A cutaway shows Blaze walking into my kitchen with a big bag of Chinese food for all of us, after my friends got what they wanted, I asked Blaze, “Did you ask for my orange hayroll’s broccoli to be diced, not shredded?” I asked.
“Yes.” Blaze said.
“Even though the menu says shredded?” I asked.
“Yes.” Blaze said as he took out my order from the bag.
“Fried rice, not white?” I asked.
“Yes.” Blaze said as he took out my rice.
“Did you go to the market place and get the good mustard?” I asked.
“Yes.” Blaze said as he took out the mustard from the bag.
“Did you get the bottled soy sauce from the market?” I asked.
”Yes.” Blaze said as he took out the soy sauce from the bag.
“Thank you.” I said.
“You’re welcome.” Blaze said.
“What took you so long?” I asked.
“Just sit down and eat!” Blaze demanded.
“Alright.” I said as I was about to sit down on the table, but as I was walking, I checked my food, and then I showed it to Blaze and glared at him.
“Ok, it’s shredded! What do you want me to do?!” Blaze yelled.
“I want you to check the order before you accept it.” I said.
“Sorry. It’s not like I’m gonna eat any of this garbage, I hate Chinese food!” Blaze said. I started to glare at him. The cutaway ends.
“And what was the second strike?” Aqua asked.
“That was both strikes.” Blaze said. “The only reason I got the Chinese food was because I was the fastest to getting the food to Flare’s hot… also I like the fortune cookies.”
“I don’t know how this is supposed to help me. Flare’s going to be super mad at me.” Crystal said.
“Oh let him be mad at you, he never holds a grudge for more than a couple of days.” Psyche said. “That’s one of the only reasons why I hang with him.”
“Alright I got an idea! What if we just told Flare somepony broke in?” Crystal suggested.
“Just to shoot the couch with a paintball gun?” Blaze asked.
“Let’s say it was Pinkie Pie.” Crystal said.
“We could tell him the couch should stay away from your coltfriend.” Engie teased and chuckled.
“Or we can just flip it over.” Blaze suggested.
“Ah! Good idea, Blaze!” Crystal said as she quickly turned the couch cushion over. “There! Good as new!”
“Umm, butt print; there needs to be a butt print.” Psyche pointed out.
Crystal then sat on the couch and started wiggling her flank on it, and then standing back up again. “There! Butt print.”
“It’s too small and perfect.” Engie said.
“Aww, Engie, you’re such a flatterer.” Crystal blushed and said.
“Ah live to please.” Engie with a smile.
“Don’t get any funny ideas, mister! I’m taken!” Crystal smirked at him and said close to his face.
“That makes two ponies in our group with a relationship.” I said as I walked in, wearing a robe and a towel on my head.
“FLARE! Hi!” Crystal said surprisingly.
“Hi, Crystal!” I said.
“Wow was your shower?” Crystal asked.
“It was alright. I was definitely NOT thinking about Rainbow Dash in there.” I said.
“Wait, what?” Blaze asked.
“I was definitely NOT, I said NOT, thinking about Rainbow Dash in there.” I repeated.
“Oh, ok, good. I would’ve killed you if you did.” Blaze said in relief.
“Yeah, Blaze is such a good friend for doing somethin’ like that. You know what the best thing about friends is, Flare?” Engie asked.
“They don’t talk incessantly for no particular reason?” I asked.
“No, no, friends FORGIVE the little things.” Engie said.
“Well anyways, it’s my turn to use the shower.” Crystal said as she was trying to walk out on us.
“Don’t you dare, missy.” Engie said.
“Hello, pad!” I said as I took my electronic pad from the table and turned it on. “Hello, Sims Freeplay app! Time to send the actors to the studio!” I sat down on my spot on the couch and checked on everything in the Sims app, but as I was doing so, I was wiggling around on the cushion, tossing and turning, and moving my legs around, and I felt that something wasn’t right. “Something’s wrong.” I said.
“Umm… what do you mean, brah?” Blaze asked suspiciously.
“I’m not sure…” I said as I wiggled my behind on the cushion again. “It doesn’t feel right!”
“What are you talking about, man?” Blaze asked. I stood up from my spot, turned the cushion around, and I saw the paintball stain on it. I gasped and looked at my friends in shock. My friends were a bit surprised, except for Aqua and Psyche who didn’t really care. “Oh that! Crystal did it.” Blaze said.
“I’m sorry, Flare!” Crystal said.
“Sorry? You’re sorry?!” I asked in anger. “Spilling a drink on the floor is sorry. Getting a math problem wrong is sorry. Purposely drop a pizza on the floor so the customer who didn’t donate in my good-will jar to get sick is sorry. THIS, this is a catastrophe!”
“Look, Flare, it was an accident. Crystal would never do somethin’ like this.” Aqua said.
“Well, that isn’t the case now is it?” Engie asked.
“Ya’re not helpin’, Engie.” Aqua said.
“I know it was an accident, and I know Crystal is sorry, and for that I won’t give her any strikes on her chart.” I said.
“Oh good.” Crystal said in relief.
“But she’s gonna help me clean this up!” I yelled. “I mean… this is my spot!”
“I know, you love this spot.” Psyche said.
“No… I love my mom. The feelings I have for my spot are… much greater.” I said.
“Flare, I promise, we’ll take this to the dry cleaners, I’ll pay for the cleaning bill, and your spot will be good as new.” Crystal promised.
“A dry cleaner? I know the dry cleaner in town. You know what the sign said on his desk? He’s not a full-time dry cleaner. He also makes keys.” I said.
“What’s your point?” Psyche asked.
“My point is we’ll need somepony with more experience to handle this job. My spot doesn’t deserve somepony as disgraceful as a dry cleaning key smith.” I said.
“Well, I’m sure Zecora might have something that may come in handly.” Aqua suggested. Everypony looked at Aqua funny because he said 'handy' wrong. "Oh pipe down! I have an accent. Get off my case!"
“Have you seen the sign on Zecora's desk? She’s not a full-time potion maker. She also makes poetry.” I said.
“That’s just how she talks, Flare.” Blaze reminded me.
“To practice for her poetry.” I added. “We’re going to need to visit somepony that will guarantee my spot to be… no pun intended… SPOTLESS!” Just then, my friends and I went over to Twilight’s house and I started knocking on her door. Knock, knock, knock; “Twilight?” Knock, knock, knock; “Twilight?” Knock, knock, knock; “Twilight?”
“Ya actually think Twilight will have a spell to fix ya’re spot?” Aqua asked.
“I have never seen a unicorn with more spells than Twilight. She will definitely have what I need.” I said.
“Yeah, like the time she helped me stop cloaked monsters from invading my house.” Blaze said.
A cutaway shows Twilight over at Rainbow Dash and Blaze’s house, using a spell to get some dementors away from there. “EXPECTO PATRONUM!” Twilight yelled as she used her patroness spell to keep the dementors away. For those who are curious, Twilight’s patroness is an owl.
“Thanks, Twilight! I have no idea why they keep coming here.” Blaze said.
“It’s quite alright, Blaze. For those who have horrible pasts like you and the Noble Six, I can understand why they want you.” Twilight said.
“Right.” Blaze nodded.
“Well, I must be getting back to the library now. See ya!” Twilight said as she used her balloon to leave his house and back home. Blaze then looks around suspiciously and walks inside his house.
“Alright, Sirius, they’re gone.” Blaze said to Sirus Black, who was taking shelter in his house after he’s escaped from Azkaban. He was just passing through Equestria on the way to Hogwarts. The cutaway ends.
Just then, Spike opened Twilight’s front door and noticed it was us. “Oh, hey guys! What’s going-“
But before Spike could finish talking, Twilight teleported to where Spike was, which the impact of the teleportation pushed him away. “Flare! Aqua! Thank Celestia, you’re here!” she said in relief.
“Ok, I’ll thank her later.” I said.
“What is this about, Twlight?” Aqua asked.
“I need your help.” Twilight said as she sneezed.
“Are you sick?” Psyche asked.
“No, I’m studying. What do you think I’m doing?!” Twilight asked sarcastically.
“Sorry, I was just asking.” Psyche said.
“No, I’m sorry, Psyche.” Twilight said sadly. “I’ve gotten a terrible flu, and I don’t think I can go on this condition.
“Go where?” Crystal asked.
“I don’t know. My school reunion that’s starting tomorrow night.” Twilight said sadly.
“So do you know, or do you not know?” I asked.
“Why?” Aqua asked.
“Because Princess Celestia is going to reveal her most secretive of spells to her former students, and I really can’t miss that!” Twilight said.
“Aren’t you still her student?” Blaze asked.
“Yes, but I mean former students that used to be taught personally at her school. I mean, I wasn’t even part of her school in general; I was just her personal student. I never gotten along well with the other students.” Twilight said.
“Wow, really?” I asked.
“Yeah. Most of the students got jealous because I’m the princesses’ personal student and they’re not.” Twilight said as she sneezes.
“Bless you.” I said.
“Thanks.” She responded. “That’s pretty much the main reason why I stuck to the books. I never gotten along well with them.”
“I know how you feel, sista.” I said as I placed my hoof on her shoulder, and then right after, I placed hoof sanitizer on my hooves as fast as I could, and then Twilight uses her magic to teleport to her bed.
“Well you’re obviously in the mood for laziness. Just look at you, teleporting from place to place all the time. You can always walk, save the magic for later.” Crystal suggested.
“I’ve been thinking of that myself, actually.” Spike said.
“What’s so special about your high school reunion anyway?” I asked. “So what you can’t go?”
“So what?” Twilight asked in a grumpy tone, and then she teleports in front of my face. “SO WHAT?! Flare, do you understand how much of a big deal this is?!”
“N-Negetive.” I said in a nervous tone.
Twilight started to get upset again, and looked down. “I’m sorry, Flare.” She said.
“Don’t be sorry. I like it when you’re mad. It makes me feel superior to you the friendship game. Mwah ha ha ha.” I said mischievously.
Twilight glares at me and then sneezes again. “Faust bless you.” Aqua said as he gave Twilight her box of tissues.
“Thank you, Aqua.” Twilight said as she blew her nose on one of the tissues.
“But it’s just.... I learned from Celestia so much, and.... you know.... she usually teaches some of her bigger, more secret magics. Ones that a normal unicorn can’t do. Ones that can save millions of lives.” Twilight said.
“Are you gonna say you’re welcome to her, Aqua?” I asked him.
“No, why?” Aqua asked.
“She said thank you. Why doesn’t anypony say you’re welcome after somepony sneezes and says thank you? I mean really!” I complained.
“So ya want Flare or me take your place? Ya want us to impersonate ya for the reunion?” Aqua asked.
“It’s up to you really. I can find other unicorns that may help me out.” Twilight said.
“Or other alicorns.” Crystal said.
“What other alicorns?” Psyche asked.
“Alicorn OCs.” Crystal said.
“Good luck trying to find one, Crystal. They normally disappear right after appearing in Equestria, unless they’re renegades.” Psyche explained.
A cutaway shows an alicorn OC with stripes, bat-wings, and bite marks on their ears appearing through a portal of some sort, and then Princess Celestia shows up in front of the OC and said mischievously, “Hello! Welcome to Equestria! The punishment for impersonating royalty is death.” The cutaway ends.
“Princess Celestia would never say that!” Twilight said shockingly.
“It’s a cutaway gag; anythin’ that happens in it normally never happened.” Engie whispered in Twilight’s ear.
“The six of you are an odd bunch, but there’s nothing wrong that.” Twilight said.
“Anyways, as I was sayin’… I don’t think I’ll be able to impersonate ya, Twilight.” Aqua said.
“Oh? Why is that?” Twilight asked.
“I just don’t feel comfortable with this situation. I don’t want to be a pony I’m not.” Aqua said.
“That’s fine, Aqua. Flare, how about you?” Twilight asked.
“Oh no thanks, Twilight. I got some plans tonight.” I said.
“What plans?” Twilight asked.
“Plans on NOT going to reunions. Sounds boring.” I said.
“It’s ok, I understand.” Twilight said.
“Now wait just a minute.” Spike stopped us. “Flare, you have to go for Twilight. It’s a friendship lesson.”
“What?” Twilight asked. “No it’s no-“
“Shhh.” Spike shushed her. “Flare, this is a BIG friendship lesson Twilight is giving you. She’s asking you for a huge favor, and it wouldn’t be nice to say no to something like that to a face like this.” Spike pointed to Twilight’s sick face with an awkward look.
“I guess not.” I said.
“Besides, this is your chance to be Twilight! You’d be in her hooves! You’d learn new magic spells, there’s a lot of free food there, and don’t get me started on the mares.” Spike explained as he elbowed me with a mischievous look on his face.
“Did you say… free food!?” I asked excitedly.
“I sure did!” Spike winked at me.
“Ok! I’ll do it!” I accepted.
“Of course you’ll do it. Everypony was expectin’ that.” Engie said.
“Are you sure, Flare?” Twilight asked as she teleported behind me.
“WHOA!” I yelled. “I… GET… STARTLED… EASILY!”
“I’m… sorry… Flare.” Twilight said. “Anyways, I hope you understand that if you’re going to be me, you can’t be yourself.”
“Don’t ask me to not be myself! That kind of attitude drove me out of Mareami!” I complained.
“I’m not asking you to not be yourself when you’re you, but you’re going to be me, which means you have to act like me, talk like me, look like me. None of this ‘Lawl remember’ nonsense.” Twilight said.
“I don’t say that ALL the time.” I corrected her.
“You say it a lot though.” Blaze reminded me.
“Whoa, Twilight. You think it’s actually a good idea to have a pony like Flare to take over as you for the reunion?” Psyche asked.
“That’s why she’s asking me in general; not somepony LIKE me.” I reminded him. "I'm sure you of all ponies should know there's barely a pony in Equestria like me."
“I appreciate your concern, Psyche, but no other unicorn would volunteer. I know Flare is a questionable pony, but… I trust him.” Twilight said as she smiled at me. I just froze for a minute there emotionless, not knowing what to say.
“C’mon, really?” Psyche asked.
“Yes, really. He’s a good student of mine. I taught him friendship well. He’s helping me in my time of need when nopony else will.” Twilight said.
“Are you sure that’s not your sickness talking?” Psyche asked.
“I am 100% sure.” Twilight said.
“Now, Psyche, if Twilight has complete confidence in Flare getting this job done, then I’ll trust him in this too.” Blaze said.
“Twilight said she trusts me.” I said in shock. “This is probably a dream though.” I then took out a glass of warm water and placed my hoof in it. “No, I don’t feel anything out of the ordinary. Maybe I should try this.” I then poured all of the warm water on my face and then started yelling, “OH LUNA, IT BURNS! It’s like squirting lemon juice on a cut! Maybe I’m actually dead and this heaven.” I suddenly took out two defibrillators, charged them up, and placed them on my chest. “CLEAR!” I yelled as I electrocuted myself with them and then passed out on the floor.
“Ok, he’s unconscious.” Twilight said. “Engie, I’ll need your help in making a voice changer if you don’t have one already, and a headset with a microphone and a mini-camera on it.”
“Ah don’t need to make any of those, ah got them!” Engie said. “Ah got a nice headset with even a volume control on it, and it doesn’t come with that annoying little button that you accidentally push to shut off the microphone and you don’t even notice.”
“Excellent! How about the voice changer?” Twilight asked.
“Well, the voice changer is actually a pill. Flare will need to swallow it.” Engie said as he walked out of Twilight’s house to get the voice changing pills and devices.
“Then get those. The rest of you, take Flare to Rarity’s for a full makeover.” Twilight instructed the rest of my friends.
“Why did ya ‘ok’ when Flare was unconscious?” Aqua asked.
“Because… I didn’t want him to know, I want to keep a careful watch on him while he’s me.” Twilight said.
“I thought ya said ya trusted him?” Aqua asked.
“I do… but… you can’t be too sure.” Twilight said. “Plus, Spike’s going with him.”
“I am?” Spike asked.
“Of course! This is Celestia’s school we’re talking about. Of course the assistant will have to go.” Twilight said.
“But you’re sick.” Spike said.
“Flare’s friends here will take care of me; is that alright with you guys?” Twilight asked.
“It’s no trouble at all, Twlight!” Crystal said.
“Yeah, don’t worry about it. We might as well keep watch over things with Flare with you.” Blaze said.
“I’M A ZOMBIE!” I yelled as I woke up in a flash. “I’m back from the dead, and I seen heaven! The only thing that was really missing in my heaven was the buffet with the really big shrimps.”
“Ponies don’t eat meat, remember?” Blaze reminded me.
“Seafood isn’t meat.” I corrected him.
“Yeah, that’s true.” Psyche nodded.
“Anyways, Flare, we’re taking you to Rarity’s for a full makeover!” Crystal said.
“Oh cool! You think Rarity can dress me like KISS? It’ll be a good excuse for me to practice putting my tongue on my nose in public without anypony being disgusted.” I said.
“No, we’re dressing you like Twilight!” Blaze said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Don’t you remember? You’re taking over as her to her school reunion, so Twilight can witness Princess Celestia revealing her secret spells.” Blaze explained.
“How? How is me being there going to help Twilight learn new spells? I’m probably going to forget them after five minutes.” I said.
“Engie’s heading back to his house to get the necessary electronics. What you see, Twilight will see!” Blaze explained.
“Is she…. Is she gonna see me go to the bathroom?” I asked awkwardly.
“We’ll be sure to turn off the monitor then.” Twilight said awkwardly as well.
“Alright, I’ll do it, and I’ll come home with a bunch of containers filled with the leftover hors d'oeuvres.” I said. “Eeeyup! Hors d'oeuvres!”
A few minutes later, we went over to see Rarity to get my disguise ready. Rarity was first observing me and measuring me. Blaze, Aqua, and Psyche were also there. “So ya think ya can do it?” Aqua asked.
“Of course, darling!” Rarity said. “Even though I usually make clothing and dresses, I never decorated a pony to look like another pony before. I can see it now: A work of art! Flare Gun as a replica of Twilight Sparkle. You’ll look gorgeous darling!”
“Who will look gorgeous, me or Aqua?” I asked.
“Why, you of course.” Rarity said.
“Oh… sorry, buddy.” I said to him.
“What are ya sorry for?” Aqua asked.
“Nuh-uh-uh… don’t even bother asking.” Psyche whispered.
“Now, dear, I need you to take off your vest and shoes.” Rarity asked.
“What?” I asked. “Are you asking me to strip?!”
“Brah, ponies don’t normally wear clothes.” Blaze reminded me.
“In this group they do! I wear a vest and shoes; you wear a Wonderbolts suit wherever you go; Engie wears overalls, a helmet, goggles, and a red shirt; and Aqua wears blue armor.” I reminded him.
“It’s necessary for this procedure to work, dear. Now if you please?” Rarity asked.
”Hmph… fine. But everypony look away.” I instructed them.
“Dude, I really don’t think it makes much of a difference.” Blaze said.
“I SAID LOOK AWAY!” I demanded. Rarity, Blaze, Psyche, and Aqua all turned around away from me. I took off my shoes and my vest, and I folded my vest and placed it neatly on the table.
“Can we look now?” Aqua asked.
“No! I’m still folding my vest!” I said as I finished folding my vest, and then I walk over to the bathroom and grabbed a towel and then placed it around my waist. “Ok, you can look now.” All four of them looked back towards me, and Blaze facehoofed himself. “Wow, you four turned around pretty quickly, even though I expect that from you Rarity.” Blaze grabs the towel I was wearing and throws it aside. “HEY! I’m exposed!” I yelled as I covered myself.
“You may get started with the procedure, Rarity.” Blaze said calmly.
“Umm… ok then.” Rarity said with an awkward smile. Rarity walks over to me, lays me down, and places braces on my arms and legs.
“Is this really necessary?” I asked.
“Quite.” Rarity said. “Nothing to worry about, dear. It’s a quick procedure and it won’t hurt a bit.”
“For Wizard of Hope’s sake, I hope you’re right.” I said.
“Now hold still, darling.” Rarity said as she pulls over a giant machine towards me with a lot of needles and sharp objects. “I never actually used this before.”
“Oh.” I said. A few minutes later, Rarity was finished with the disguise and it was a success. The four of us walked back over to Twilight’s house to check up on her. When we got there, Spike and Crystal were taking care of the sick Twilight, and Engie was installing the monitor on her wall.
“Oh good, you’re back!” Twilight said excitedly.
“Twilight Sparkle, we give you… the new temporary Twilight Sparkle!” Blaze introduced me to her in a new look. I look exactly like Twilight, coat, mane, everything, but my eyes were still the same.
“Wow! Rarity really outdid herself this time! You look just like me, Flare! Except for the eyes though.” Twilight observed me.
“Yeah, she couldn’t do anything to the eyes, and the procedure was much easier, counting I already have a mare’s face.” I said.
“But the eyes, what shall we do about them?” Psyche asked.
“Meh. Just say it was a magic spell accident. I doubt any pony would notice.” Crystal suggested.
“Ok, now that you’re going to be me, you’re going to have to take some time to get used to be my personality.” Twilight instructed.
“Oh that’ll be a snap! Spike and I have been doing it behind your back for weeks!” I said. Spike awkwardly backs away, and Twilight glares at us.
“Ok, Flare, let’s see what you got.” She asked.
“Look at me, I’m Twilight Sparkle! I love reading and magic because friendship is magic!” I said, impersonating her.
“Say, that’s not half bad!” Twilight said surprisingly.
“Oh gosh, I think I left the quill ink opened at home! If my home isn’t organized, I don’t know what to do!” I said.
“Yep! That’s me alright!” Twilight said.
“Spike, take a letter! Dear Princess Celestia, Today I learned that you shouldn’t judge your friends by the amount of hats they wear. They are what they are, and that’s the important thing! Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.” I said.
“Nice work, Flare!” Twilight said impressively as Spike blew a scroll to the princess.
“Oh wait, that wasn’t supposed to be an actual letter?” Spike asked.
“It’s okay, Pinkie Pie. No need to be sad. So what if this rock won’t be your friend? You have so many good friends in your life! Like Flare Gun for example. He’s the best!” I said, still impersonating Twilight.
“Alright, Flare. You got it. I think that’s enough for now.” Twilight insisted.
”No, wait! I got one more!” I said. “Hi, I’m Twilight Sparkle! I say a lot of words that ponies just don’t understand! Just look at my CDO! It’s OCD but in alphabetical order! JUST HOW IT SHOULD BE!” Every pony except Twilight laughed at once.
“That’ll do, Flare.” Twilight said with an irritated tone. The next day came; Spike, Blaze, Crystal, Psyche, Engie, Aqua, and I all went to the trainstation, and the others were wishing Spike and I off.
“Well, looks like it’s time to do your part, Flare. Are you sure you got this under control?” Psyche asked.
“I’m surely sure sure, but who’s Shirley?” I asked.
“Here ya go, Flare. This headset will help you keep in communicate with us while you’re at the reunion.” Engie explained. “This microphone will allow you to speak with us, and on your headset here is a tiny build-in camera. It may be tiny but it comes in HD, so Twilight and us will be able to keep track of everythin’ you do.”
“Well I can’t steal anything it looks like.” I said.
“Oh, ah almost forgot… here.” Engie said as he gave me a little tablet.
“Oh no thinks, Engie. I don’t need pills.” I said.
“Ya look like Twilight, but ya don’t sound like her. This little pill is a voice changer. You’ll sound exactly like her for the whole day.” Engie said.
“Why would I need to sound exactly like her? If I just talk a lot about stuff other ponies don’t understand, they’ll know I’m Twilight.” I said.
“Yes, but we can’t be too sure.” Engie said.
“Alright, but can I have something to drink while I take this? I don’t swallow stuff well without something liquid to pour it down.” I said.
“Here, open wide and put the pill in your mouth.” Aqua instructed me.
“Alright then. Goodbye sweet voice; you may not be the best of all voices but you’re sure better than Justin Bieber.” I said as I placed the pill in my mouth. “Ok no’ ‘ut?” I asked with my mouth wide open.
“This may seem a little awkward.” Aqua said as he uses his water magic to squirt water in my mouth to help me swallow the pill.
“Meh, I’ve seen more awkward. It’s like drinking from a fountain in the park.” Crystal said. After I swallowed the pill, I felt a strange feeling from inside my throat.
“Go ahead, say somethin’.” Engie instructed me.
“Engie’s stupid…” I said as my voice changed a bit to sound like Twilight’s. “Engie’s stupid… Engie’s stupid… Engie’s…. stupid.” After that time I said that, my voice completely sounds like Twilight.
“How do you feel, Flare?” Psyche asked.
“Flare? I’m Twilight.” I teased.
“Right… how do you feel… Twilight?” Psyche asked again.
“With my hooves.” I said as I placed my hoof on Psyche’s face and he just glared at me.
“Flare, you’re Twilight now. Leave the jokes to a minimum.” Blaze instructed me.
“Alright. Well… this pill is kicking in… it’s gonna take some time to get used to.” I said.
“Wow. It’s like I’m seeing double.” Spike said as he looked at me and Twilight at the same time.
“Twilight? Shouldn’t you be at home resting?” Psyche asked.
“I know. I just wanted to wish Flare the best of luck.” Twilight said.
“Flare’s not here. I’m Twilight.” I corrected her.
“Don’t mess this up for me, Flare. I’ll be watching and listening to everything you do.” Twilight said.
“Not to worry about it, Twilight! This should be as easy as the time I talked back to a pony who wants to ban video games.” I said.
A cutaway shows a fat pony in front of me saying, “You know, they should ban video games. They make ponies violent.”
“Yeah… perhaps you’re right, brah.” I agreed. “Maybe they should ban Hungry, Hungry Hippos too because it looks like you play that a lot.” I teased the fat pony and he glared at me. I started to laugh. The cutaway ends.
“Good luck, Flare. Make me proud.” Twilight said.
“Don’t worry about it, me. I’ll have it all under control. You’ll see!” I said.
“Uh huh.” Spike nodded sarcastically. So Spike and I walked on the train and started our journey to Canterlot. When we got there, we walked over to Canterlot castle and walked onto the gardens.
“Ah, Canterlot! Isn’t this a great place? It’s so clean around here you can eat off the street!” I said.
“Wow, really?” Spike asked excitedly as he saw a scope off ice cream smashed onto the street with a bunch of ants on it, and Spike licks it up and swallows it. “Mmmm! Mint chocolate chip!”
“So which way to Canterlot School for Gifted Unicorns?” I asked.
“Over there, the building with the giant hole in the roof that nopony seemed to bother to fix after Twilight’s incident.” Spike pointed.
“Oh, I see it. That was the one when she turned you into a giant, right?” I asked.
“You know, how I grew up then and how I grew up with my greed makes me look different. I’m still wondering what I would look like if I grow up naturally.” Spike said.
“Excuse me?” a pony asked me. “Are you Twilight Sparkle?”
“Well that actually depends.” I said. "There is a slight possibility for my name being Twilight. But considering the fact you are a stranger to me, and do not exactly know what my name clearly is, but upon knowing about-“
"Yeah you're Twilight.” The pony interrupted. “I’m here to tell you that Princess Celestia is looking for you.”
“I expect her to be looking for me. I’m her faithful student!” I said.
“Excellent! The reunion is taking place in the castle ball room, right over there.” The pony pointed.
“Thanks! I really appreciate it! But then again, if I didn’t appreciate it, it wouldn’t be nice, right?” I asked.
“I… guess not. Anyways, you have a wonderful evening, and enjoy the reunion!” the pony said as he walked away.
"Don't mess this up, dude." Spike said to me.
"Don't worry about me, brah. I’m doing fine.” I said.
“Shhh!” Spike shushed me. “Remember: you’re not Flare anymore. You’re Twilight now. She’s relying on you.”
“Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” I said as I walked over to the castle ballroom entrance and there was a unicorn guard standing in front of the entrance with a checklist.
“Ok, Flare, there’s a guard over there with a checklist. Act like Twilight, alright?” Spike instructed me.
“I read you loud and clear, Spike!” I said as I saluted him.
“No, you don’t salute. I do the saluting.” Spike instructed me.
“Got it!” I said as I walked over to the guard. “Hello, fellow guard! I’m Princess Celestia’s faithful student! She taught me everything I needed to know about magic, friendship, and most importantly: sneaking around the castle looking for a time travel spell and nopony was suspicious of me!” Spike facepalmed himself.
“Name please?” the guard asked.
“Twilight Sparkle, and I like to say a lot of words that other ponies don’t think they make sense. I’d say ‘bla bla bla’ and you wouldn’t even know the difference between that and my explanations.” I said.
Spike sighed and said, “Eeyup, Twilight is doomed.”
“Alright, Ms. Sparkle, you can come in. Enjoy the reunion.” The bouncer guard said as he let me through.
“Thanks! Have a great night!” I said as I walked in and Spike was about to follow me, but the bouncer stopped him.
“Hold on there, sir. Name?” the guard asked.
“I’m with her.” Spike said as he pointed to me.
“Name please?” the guard asked again.
Spike groaned and said, “Spike.”
“Spike… Spike… umm…” the guard checked his list. “Nope. Not on the list.”
“Twilight, help!” Spike yelled.
“Do you know this dragon, ma’am?” the bouncer asked me.
I looked over at the bouncer and then to Spike who had a worried look on his face. “Never seen him before in my life.” I said.
“TWILIGHT?!” Spike yelled.
“Move along, buddy.” The guard instructed Spike. He started to angrily walk away and mumble to himself, but as he was mumbling and walking passed a vent on the wall; I popped out of the vent, grabbed Spike, and used the air duck to get us both back into the ball room.
“What was that?!” Spike yelled at me.
“Shhh. Since I couldn’t have the bouncer let you in, I decided to smuggle you in without the guard knowing.” I whispered to Spike and let out a squee.
“You could’ve just told the bouncer I was with you!” Spike whispered back angrily.
“Hmm… I never really thought of that.” I admitted.
“Well if you need me, I’ll be at the all you can eat buffet.” Spike said with an attitude as he walked away.
“Hello, Flare? Do you read me, over?” Twilight asked from my ear piece.
“Twilight?! Where are you? I thought you were at home? What are you doing here?” I asked.
"I’m not. I'm on the ear piece I gave you, remember?" Twilight asked.
“How can you be ON the ear piece? Unless... did you shrink yourself, sista?” I asked.
"Yeah, that's another thing. Don't say ‘sista’, or any of that… leet-speak you use." Twilight instructed me.
"Sad face. Why?" I asked.
"Same thing goes to saying facial expressions." Twilight reminded me. "And because I don't say those things. If anypony finds out you're not me, they'll have you arrested."
"Well we don't want that now, do we?" I asked.
"Of course not." Twilight said.
"So, where are your friends?" I asked. "Maybe I can give them messages for you."
"Oh... Flare, actually.... I don't have any friends in that school." Twilight said.
"Oh that's nonsense! You represent an element of friendship. Of course you have friends! Silly little Pooh bear!" I said playfully.
"It was different for me back then." Twilight said. "Before I moved to Ponyville, I never knew what friendship was, nor was I interested. Spike, Shining Armor, Cadance, and Celestia were pretty much all I liked to socialize with. Everypony who tried to socialize with me, I turned down. Mainly because in my past, most of the unicorns in that school were-“
"BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA! WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS!" I interrupted. "You bore me, Twilight. Just skip to the point."
Twilight sighed. "My point is, I don't think anypony's going to want to socialize with you, and if they do, they'll probably make fun of you."
"You're the poet tonight, mare!" I teased. "Besides, I can redeem youself."
"Flare, listen to me. You can't act like yourself. You're me now, and you must act like me. Got it?" Twilight asked.
"Okie dokey smoky!" I said.
"Seriously, Flare." Twilight said.
"Yes, Twilight Sparkle, I hear you loud and clean." I said.
"And please talk right." Twilight instructed me.
"Loud and clear! Happy face now?" I asked as I started to get an attitude.
Twilight gave a loud sigh, and started to calm down. "Flare, if you mess this up, they might arrest you. You're not Crimson Flare Gun tonight, you're Twilight Sparkle."
"Then why are you still calling me Flare?" I teased.
"Oh, hello Twilight Sparkle." A white unicorn mare with a red mane and a crescent moon and stars for a cutie mark.
"Good evening... umm…." I started to get nervous because I don't know her.
"Her name is Moondancer." Twilight said.
"Moondancer! That's right! Your name is Moondancer!” I said excitedly.
“Umm… yeah it is.” Moondancer said awkwardly.
“How are you this find evening, Moondancer?” I asked.
"Fine. You seem to be socializing more than you used to." Moondancer said.
"Well, I do represent the Element of Magic." I said. "At first I didn't know what friendship was, but then it all changed when the fire nation attacked!"
"Flare!” Twilight yelled from my ear piece.
"Ooooookay." Moondancer said awkwardly. “Well… I hope to see you around, Twilight.” She walks away quickly.
"Bye, Moonie!" I yelled excitedly. I then said to Twilight in a moderate tone, "She's friendly."
"Yeah I know, but you're acting weird." Twilight said.
"You can't change who I am, Light.” I said.
"I know, but you wanted to do this favor for me. So please, act normal." Twilight instructed me.
"There is no such thing as acting normal." I said.
"Fine. Act mature. No jokes, no talking about food much.... actually, just repeat all I say." Twilight instructed me.
"All I say." I said.
"I didn't mean now." Twilight said.
"I didn't mean now." I repeated.
"Whatever. Let's just get this over with." Twilight said.
"Whatever. Let's just get this over with." I repeated. I then walked over to a group of unicorns named Comet Tail, Cipher Splash, and Diamond Mint.
“Oh hey, Twilight! Long time no see!” Diamond Mint said.
“Hello, Diamond Mint! How are you?” Twilight asked.
“Hello, Diamond Mint! How are you?” I repeated.
“Swell! How about you?” Diamond Mint asked.
“Fine.” Twilight said.
“Fine.” I repeated.
“Good! I didn’t expect you to be here, counting you were Princess Celestia’s personal student; not really a student to the other teachers around here.” Diamond Mint said.
“Well, it’s nice getting with my old peers; especially when- AHH CHOO!” Twilight sneezes. “Especially when we don’t meet with eachother often. I’d like to hear more about you.”
“Well, it’s nice getting with my old peers, especially when- ahh choo; especially when we don’t meet with eachother often. I’d like to hear more about you.” I repeated.
“Oh gosh, where do I begin?” Diamond Mint asked excitedly. “Well, it all started when I was a filly. I’ve always wanted to own a greenhouse. I just love planting! So when I asked my parents…” that’s pretty much all I heard because afterwards, Twilight started talking on my ear piece.
"Engie, I wanted two scoops of sugar, not one." Twilight said as Engie was giving her some hot tea.
"Engie, I wanted two scoops of sugar, not one." I repeated.
“I’m sorry?” Diamond Mint asked.
“Nothing. Please continue.” Twilight said to me. “No, not now, Aqua.” She said to Aqua as he was giving her some hot soup.
"Nothing. Please continue. No, not now, Aqua.” I repeated.
“Are you ok, Twilight?” Diamond Mint asked.
“I’m fine. We should totally chat another time, but Princess Celestia is looking for me.” Twilight said as she had a growling tone when she said ‘Princess Celestia is looking for me’.
“I’m fine. We should totally chat another time, but Princess Celestia is looking for me.” I repeated, using the same growl at the same part of the sentence.
“Oh… ok. See you around, Twilight!” Diamond Mint said as she walked off.
“Ok, Flare, from this point forward: no more repeating what I say.” Twilight said.
“Aww, but that was fuuuuuuun!” I whined.
“You starting to think this was a bad idea having Flare do this?” Psyche asked.
“I HEARD THAT, PSYCHE!” I yelled.
“I know Flare hasn’t been that cooperative, but I’m not giving up on him.” Twilight said.
“What am I doing wrong?” I asked. “When you asked me to repeat everything you said, I was listening to you! Every word, and you know how hard it was to say the word ‘fine’? I almost never use that word! I always use ‘great’, not FINE!”
“You’re doing… ok, Flare. Maybe it’s best you just don’t talk to anypony. What I normally do is sit around and read. How about finding a good book and try to stay out of the way?” Twilight suggested.
“Oh I can stay out of the way easily! My great uncle Luger Gun was real good at that!” I said.
A cutaway shows World Party II. A party tank rides by along with a bunch of Equestrian troops about to engage in battle. My great uncle Luger Gun (who looks exactly like me but with an old military outfit) was riding on the back of the tank, holding onto the engine. “The guys said I should stay outta the way because I’m terrible at throwing frosting grenades; for example…” Luger takes out a frosting grenades and throws it inside the tank, and the tank gets overflowed with frosting. “See how wrong they are? I’m an expert!”
“You idiot!” one of the soldiers yelled.
“No… you idiot! I just destroyed our tank with just a grenade. I told you I knew how to throw them.” Luger corrected them.
“Why must you use strawberry frosting?! That only works on griffons and we’re fighting the cockatrices!” the pony that was driving the tank popped out and yelled.
“I was drawing during the briefing.” Luger said sadly. The cutaway ends.
Just as I was about to walk away, Princess Celesita stopped me. “Twilight Sparkle! My faithful student! I am so glad you’re here!”
“Glad to be here, your highness! Where’s Luna?” I asked.
“Flare!” Twilight yelled from the ear piece.
“Luna’s at the Cloudsdale Banquet at this time, but I’ll let you know you said hello.” Celestia insisted.
“I didn’t actually say hello, but alright. She should really be here.” I said.
“Flare! Be more respectful to the princess! I never mention Luna when I talk with her. I only talk about her, and my studies if she asks.” Twilight said.
“You want to ask me about my studies?” I asked the princess.
“I can tell you are doing a wonderful job with your studies back in Ponyville, and I am very proud of you.” Celestia said.
“That’s not what I was saying.” I said.
“Ugh! I’m starting to have second thoughts of this.” Twilight facehoofed herself.
“It’s about time.” Psyche said.
“No, it’s not! C’mon, Twilight. Here, let me have a word with him.” Blaze begged.
“Be my guest. I have the feeling Flare’s going to blow it anyway.” Twilight said.
“Flare? Can you hear me? It’s Blaze.” Blaze said on the mic.
“Oh, hey Blaze!” I said excitedly.
“Blaze?” Celestia asked.
“No, shhh.” Blaze shushed me. “I need you to listen to me very carefully. Princess Celestia is Twilight’s teacher. Twilight always acts like a bootlicker to the princess.
“HEY!” Twilight yelled.
“Trust me on this.” Blaze said to Twilight.
“Princess Celestia, your highness! I am in your full service. I am proud to be your student and I would do anything in return. Anything you need me to do, your highness?” I bowed to her and asked.
“Hey, look, I can see a bit on the floor.” Crystal pointed to monitor where my necklace camera was pointing to the floor as I bowed. “Flare, pick up the bit!” she yelled.
“No wait, it’s on tails, Crystal.” Engie pointed out.
“Oh… nevermind, Flare! It’s on tails!” Crystal yelled.
“All I want is to you have to a wonderful time, Twilight. Please, go and socialize with the other ponies. Tell them about your time in Ponyville. I believe they’d really be interested.” Celestia said.
“Of course, mighty one! Of course!” I bowed as she walked passed me.
“I’ll leave you to it.” She said.
“I don’t call her mighty one.” Twilight said.
“Oh c’mon, Twilight! That was good!” I complained.
“Well… that’s better than what I’ve been seeing, that’s for sure.” Twilight said.
“Well… well… well… Twilight Sparkle. The dork that somehow became Celestia’s personal student.” A yellow unicorn that had a mane style similar to Lyra’s said to me. I ignored her though because I didn’t know she was talking to me. “Umm… hello? Twilight Sparkle? I’m talking to you!”
“That’s you, Flare.” Twilight said on my headphones.
“Oh, right! I’m Twilight!” I said as I turned around and saw the pony picking on me. “Hello… umm…”
“You don’t remember me, do you? Hmm, guess all that geeky studying is making you forget what it’s like to be in the real world.” The pony said.
“That or video games.” I mumbled to myself.
“What did you just say?!” the pony yelled at me.
“It’s not polite to yell, you know, and you still didn’t tell me your name.” I pointed out.
“It’s Lemony Gem. I can’t believe you’d forget all about me. I’m like… the richest most popular filly in the entire school.” Lemony said as she chuckled.
“Richest isn’t a word.” I corrected her.
“What? Yes it is.” Lemony corrected me.
“It is.” Twilight said.
“But you told me goodest wasn’t a word either.” I said to Twilight.
“I did not.” Lemony said.
“Stop talking to me, Flare. You’ll give us away.” Twilight instructed me.
“I always cost money. I don’t just GIVE myself away!” I said.
“What’s wrong with you, Sparkle?” Lemony asked.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked Lemony.
“Hmm, you’re a strange one Sparkle, but then again, you always were. It’s no wonder you never had any friends.” Lemony teased.
I started to get angry with her. “Excuse me, but Twilight Sparkle is one of the most kindest ponies ever! She has the best of friends right in Ponyville!” I yelled at her.
“Oooo Ponyville. The redneck country of Equestria.” Lemony teased.
“Whatever you say. Just stay outta Twilight Sparkle’s way, bud!” I yelled at her.
“Oooo, attitude. I bet the rednecks taught you that.” Lemony teased. I started to get super angry with her.
I activated my hornsaber spell and said angrily, “Nopony likes a bully!”
“Are you threatening me, Sparkle?” Lemony asked.
“No, threatening would mean I’m giving you a warning or I’ll kick your flank. This time, I’m actually going to kick your flank right now! Don’t talk about my friends that way!” I yelled at her.
“Flare! Stand down!” Twilight yelled on my ear piece. I was about to whack Lemony with my hornsaber, but I eventually calmed down and deactivated the spell. “Get outta my sight!” I demanded.
“You’re going to pay for this, Sparkle! You’re going to pay for it BIG TIME!” Lemony threatened me.
“Oh I would LOVE to see you try. You know, I find you very insulting, just like when I found the movie The Naked Gun insulting.” I said.
A cutaway shows me with another pony. The other pony asked me, “Hey Flare Gun! Wanna watch The Naked Gun movie with me?”
“I WAS YOUNG AND I NEEDED THE MONEY!” I yelled. The cutaway ends.
“Flare you have to be careful. I never threaten ponies like that.” Twilight said on my ear piece.
“Then how do you threaten ponies?” I asked.
“I threaten them with pop quizzes.” Twilight said.
“Look, I’m sorry, Twilight, but that pony was insulting you and the Apple family!” I said angrily.
“And I appreciate that you care for us so much that you’d stand up for this, really I do, but you need to calm down. Look, it shouldn’t be too long until Princess Celestia shows off her secret spells. How about you head over to the buffet and get something to eat?” Twilight suggested.
“You know, out of all the time I was here, I didn’t get anything to eat or drink. I really am turning into you. I normally go to the buffet first during these parties.” I said.
“No, you’re not changing. I normally do that too.” Twilight admitted.
“Really?! You eat a lot?!” I laughed. “That’s so unlike you!”
“Shh! Calm down, Flare. Just head to the buffet and get something, but quietly. I don’t want to risk us being exposed.” Twilight said.
“I already feel exposed without my vest.” I said as I walked over to the buffet to get some food. “Oh cool a buffet! Oh… if only I had my wallet with me.”
“Uh, dude, it’s free.” Spike reminded me.
“All you can eat?” I asked.
“You got it!” Spike said.
“WOOO!” I cheered as I started eating up all the food and slobbery it all around like a pig. The other ponies at the buffet were looking at me funny.
“Relax, she does this all the time. The most smartest of ponies have the biggest appetites. That includes dragons too.” Spike said to the other ponies as he jumped onto the buffet and joined me into gobbling the buffet with nothing but our bare hooves / claws.
“Oh, by the way, Spike. I’m a dudet, not a dude.” I corrected him as I stuck my head out from the buffet and revealing all the leftover slobber on my face. The camera necklace was leaning on the counter so Twilight couldn’t see a thing from where she is, but she could hear what’s going on. Twilight just sat on her bed speechless and shocked.
“Come to think of it, I’m starting to agree with Psyche on Flare going to the reunion.” Blaze said.
“Yeah. Now Flare is ruining everything for you.” Psyche said.
“We shouldn’ve let him go.” Blaze said.
“No, this was my fault. I let him go. I should’ve known he wouldn't be capable of a task like this. I was just so desperate for SOMEPONY to go, I didn’t really think it over. Everypony’s going to see right through Flare, he’s going to jail, and it’s all my fault.” Twilight said sadly as she sneezed again.
“Gesundheit.” Blaze said.
“My, my, Twilight, you seem to have a big appetite this evening.” Celestia said to me.
“Oh no! Flare, get outta there!” Twilight instructed me.
“Ooo, you rhymed, Twilight!” Crystal pointed out.
“Do you always have to point that out, Crystal?” Blaze asked.
“Flare does it.” Crystal reminded him.
“I am rather impressed with your abilities; it reminds me myself when I was younger.” Celestia said.
“It does?” I asked with my mouth full.
“It does. Let out the inner beast, Twilight.” Celestia said as she walked away.
“Wow… she… likes it.” Twilight said shockingly.
“I’m not sure what the big deal is. It’s just eating.” I said.
“Wow, Twilight Sparkle. I could see how much you changed since you moved out of Canterlot. It is quite divine.” Lemon Hearts said.
“I’ll say. You even made the princess impressed.” Twinkleshine said.
“You have any spells to show us that the princess has taught you over the years?” Lyra asked.
“Lyra, what are you doing here? You don’t go to this school.” I asked.
“I do so! You know that!” Lyra corrected me.
“But don’t you live in Ponyville and work at my- errr… Flare’s Pizza Parlor?” I asked.
“Oh, that’s just my twin sister Lyra.” Lyra said.
“Aren’t you Lyra?” I asked.
“I am.” Lyra said.
“So… how is… I mean… since when did you have a twin sister?” I asked.
“Since always. I have 14 of them scattered all around Equestria! I even have an earth pony sister that lives in Applelossa.” Lyra said.
“Wow… so that’s why I saw Lyra wave at me before I moved to Ponyville, and then I saw Lyra in Ponyville at my welcoming party Pinkie gave me.” Twilight thought.
“I remember watching my twin sister, Amethyst Star, play at the Sisterhooves Social in Ponyville a few months back.” Amethyst Star said.
“Heya, sis!” another Amethyst Star said as she walked over to her duplicate.
“Oh hey! Good to see you! How’s your sister Dinky?” one of the Amethyst Stars asked.
“She’s good, she’s good.” The other Amethyst said.
“This is trippy.” I said.
“I agree with ya completely.” Aqua said from my earpiece.
“So Twilight, how about telling us a bit about your lessons with Princess Celestia?” Minuette asked.
“Of course, Minuette! Of course! I’d love to tell you all about my lessons with Princess Celestia!” I said.
“Are you sure, Flare? It’s a lot to talk about.” Twilight asked.
“I think I can handle it.” I said.
“Ok, repeat after me.” Twilight said.
“I don’t need any repeating, I could do this myself.” I offered.
“But… you don’t know anything about my lessons with Princess Celestia. How are you going to tell them?” Twilight asked and sniffed.
“Relax. I got this.” I said.
“Of course you got this, Twilight! You’re like a… super amazing unicorn. Only the best of the best can be a personal student of the princess. Her last student was really missing out after she left.” Minuette said.
“Ok so there I was… on the planet Pandora…” I started.
“Wait… what?” Spike asked.
“I was on the bus with three other ponies, and they had the same objective that I have: looking for the Pandora vault. It is contained with a bunch of extreme riches! So when Marcus dropped us off at Fyrestone, I met a robot named Claptrap, and-“ I continued.
“Flare, I think you should stop now.” Twilight instructed me.
“I met the Claptrap, and after he was shot by bandits-“
“Flare, that didn’t happen! Stop telling them lies about my life!” Twilight demanded.
“So afterwards, I met with Doctor Zed and-“ I continued.
“He’s not gonna stop is he?” Blaze asked.
“Nnnope. I’m telling you, Blaze, Flare’s going to be in bigger trouble right now than Pinkie did when she had Spiderman over.” Twilight said.
A cutaway shows Pinkie Pie in Sugarcube Corner’s kitchen along with Spiderman, about to cook something for him. “Hey, Spidey. I made you some rice!” Pinkie said excitedly.
“Oh goody! What flavor?” Spiderman asked.
“This!” Pinkie said as she shows Spiderman Uncle Ben’s Boil ‘n Bag rice.
“Why would you do that? That’s cruel.” Spiderman asked sadly. The cutaway ends.
“And that’s the story on how I found the vault!” I said a half-hour later.
“That’s a… pretty long story, Twilight. Interesting though.” Twinkleshine said.
“Wanna hear the sequel?” I asked.
“Nah, that’s fine.” Twinkleshine said.
“NO!” Twilight yelled from my ear piece.
“Ow! Did you have to yell in my ear?!” I yelled to Twilight.
“Sorry. Was that too loud?” Twinkleshine asked.
“No, not you, Twinkleshine.” I said.
“Fillies and gentlecolts, observe the secrets of fine magic by our school’s director, principle, and one of the teachers: Princess Celestia.” The pony up on stage announced.
“Flare! That’s us!” Twilight said.
“No, that’s you. Unless that magic has anything computer or video game related, I’m not going to be able to use them.” I said.
“I know, but this what we’re here for. I have to see this! After that, you can come home and go back to being Flare.” Twilight explained.
“Well, it would be nice becoming Flare again, Twilight, but I kinda like being you.” I said.
“Oh… well, thank you.” Twilight said.
“I think I’d like to stay here a little longer after the observation.” I said.
“Wait, what?” Twilight asked.
“It’s true. Twilight became a big shot here. The other unicorns love me, and by me, I mean you.” I said.
“But that’s just it. Aren’t you feeling a little disappointed because the other ponies are praising me and not you? I thought you liked the attention?” I asked.
“I do, but they don’t need to know it’s me. Plus, if I give them promises, only you have to fulfill them.” I added.
“You didn’t give anypony promises, did you?” Twilight asked.
“Unless you were away from your TV and the microphone and all that stuff Engie installed, you should know already.” I said.
“Well… I was only away for a minute to use the restroom when you were telling that… vault story.” Twilight said.
“Ooooooh, so I guess you didn’t hear me saying yes out of all the invitations I got.” I said.
“Wait… what?” Twilight asked.
“Well, Moondancer was upset because you didn’t come to her party before you left for Ponyville so she made another one just for you, and I scheduled you an appointment for Minuette’s dentist office, oh, and Lemony Gem was so angry that you badmouthed her, and by you, I mean me…” I explained. Twilight started to get nervous of all the promises I kept. “… So she wants me to meet her on stage later for a magical duel.”
“FLARE?! You were only supposed to go into the reunion, hang out for a bit, watch the princess’s magic performance, and leave. I didn’t ask you to say yes to invitations!” Twilight yelled.
“Twilight, I did it for you! I wanted to help you become more popular around here. You didn’t socialize much when you were a filly, and I don’t want you ending up like me!” I explained.
“I appreciate it, Flare, but… just…” Twilight didn’t know what to say without hurting my feelings, so she just went with, “Just go watch the performance. We’ll talk about this later.”
“Roger that.” I said as I walked over to the crowd so Twilight and I can see Princess Celestia’s secret magic spells that she is revealing to all her former students at the school.
“My faithful students. It is so wonderful to see you all again. You all are now studying your magic degrees throughout all of Equestria, and I have to say, I miss all of you so much seeing you all face to face.” Celestia said. “I hope all of you are enjoying the reunion because I have a real good treat for you tonight, something you cannot get anywhere else… unless somepony is recording all this and putting it on YouTube.” Celestia looks at one of the students in the crowd, pointing her cell phone at the princess, recording what she’s saying. The pony chuckles embarrassingly and puts her phone away. “It’s no joke, my students. All that you are about to witness is top secret. Nopony must know.” The guards in the ball room shut all the doors and cover all the windows for the princess’s presentation.
“This is it!” Twilight said excitedly as she sniffled.
“Ooo lookie there!” I said as I turned away from Celestia and looked over at a statue at the other end of the room. “That statue over there looks a lot like the princess in storybook format.”
“Flare! Look back at Celestia! I’m missing out.” Twilight yelled.
“Right, sorry.” I said as I looked back at her.
“Now, without further ado, I’d like to present one of my secret spells. Watch closely because I’m only going to do this once.” Celestia said as her horn started glowing.
“Oh hold on.” I said as I took out my phone because I felt it vibrating. I looked down at my phone and saw my friend Keith poke me on Facebook. “Keith Pwni poked you.” I said as I tapped on my phone, poking him back. “You poked Keith!”
“Flare! Focus!” Twilight yelled.
“Oh right, right! Sorry!” I said as I looked back at Celestia and saw the crowd cheering.
“That was a fantastic spell! Wouldn’t you agree, Twilight?” Minuette asked.
“A what now?” I asked.
“Now you’re all going to adore this next spell I have. Watch and learn!” Celestia said as her horn started glowing again.
“Oh wait… shoes might be untied.” I said as I looked town at my hooves. “Oh right… no shoes.”
“FLARE!” Twilight yelled.
“Right, focusing!” I said as I looked back at Celestia, but noticed she did her spell already. Everypony was cheering.
“Flare, keep looking at Celestia. I’m missing her presentation!” Twilight complained.
“Sorry! I get distracted easily.” I said.
“How can you be distracted with something as amazing as this?” Twilight asked.
“How do you know if it’s all amazing? You didn’t see it. As far as we’re all concerned, they could’ve stunk.” I reminded her.
“These spells are amazing!” Moondancer said excitedly.
“And for my final spell. I must say, this one is going to be my best one yet. Watch carefully!” Celestia said as her horn began to glow yet again.
“Don’t look away, Flare.” Twilight demanded.
“Don’t worry, I promise I won’t this time.” I promised. I kept my eyes firmly aimed at the princess as she was about to preform her spell.
“Wait for it… she’s about to do it.” Twilight said.
“You’re pretty psyched about this, aren’t ya, Twilight?” Engie asked.
“Did somepony say my name?” Psyche asked. So Princess Celestia was just moments away from preforming that spell, but unfortunately, my necklace camera falls off.
“NO!” Twilight yelled.
“Woops. The string broke. You needed to give a firmer string, Engie.” I said as I looked down and picked up the camera and aimed it back at Celestia again, but to our luck, Celestia was already done, and everypony cheered.
“WHAT?! NO!” Twilight yelled.
“AH KNOW, RIGHT?! Ah should’ve used a rubber band instead of dental floss for the necklace.” Engie said.
“Now I’ll never know Celestia’s secret spells!” Twilight whined and sneezed.
“Oh lookie! Keith poked me again!” I said as I took out my phone to check my Facebook. Twilight slammed her head on her side table and groaned.
“It’s alright, Twilight. Maybe its best ya don’t know. Some things are secret for a reason.” Aqua said.
“Aqua’s right, Twilight. Maybe you not knowing is for the best. I mean you are Celestia’s personal student, and maybe she’d give them to you in person if you’re lucky.” Blaze said.
“If you’re lucky? IF YOU’RE LUCKY?! Is that the best you can come up with, Blaze?!” Crystal yelled as she shook him.
“You know, that’s not really helping her, Crystal.” Blaze said.
“Flare, abort mission. Please come home now.” Twilight instructed me.
“What?” I asked.
“I missed what I needed to see… but… its ok, Flare. You don’t have to be me anymore. Come on home and go back to being, Flare.” Twilight instructed. I started to feel really bad. I messed up Twilight’s chance for witnessing Celestia’s secret spells.
“UGH!” I groaned. “Why does it always have to be me that screws everything up? It can’t be somepony else?! As if I had enough screwing up back in Mareami!”
“Flare, it’s alright, just come home.” Twilight said.
“No! I’m not yet finished here!” I said.
“Flare, what are you doing?” Twilight asked. I didn’t say anything, I just kept walking and started walking over to Princess Celestia. “Flare, stop! Everypony makes mistakes! Don’t make it worse!” I still did not stop.
“Blaze, Psyche, Engie, one of you… do something!” Twilight yelled.
“Flare, stop! You did all you could! Return home right now!” Blaze yelled in the microphone. “Flare, do you hear me!? I said, return home now!” I just ignored him and shut off my headphones so I couldn’t hear them.
“No! He shut off his headphones!” Engie said as he observed the equipment and saw a message say that the headphones shut off.
“Flare’s making a big mistake right now!” Psyche said.
“No… I think he’s trying to make things right. This is probably for the best.” Aqua said.
“For the wha- for the best!? Aqua have you lost your mind?!” Blaze yelled.
“Trust me, Blaze. I think he knows what he’s doin’.” Aqua said.
“For all of ours sake, Aqua, I hope you’re right.” Twilight said as they all watched the screen, hoping for the best. I walked over towards the stage about to have a chat with the princess, but I was stopped by Lemony Gem.
“Where do you think you’re going, Sparkle?” Lemony asked.
“To talk to the princess. If you wanna chat, just give me a few minutes or so.” I said.
“Oh no, you’re not going anywhere.” Lemony said as she used a magical force field to block my path.
“What in Equestria is Lemony Gem doing?” Twilight asked.
“Who me?” I asked.
“Yes, you!” Lemony said.
“Couldn’t be.” I said.
“Then who- wait… UGH! You… me… stage… now.” Lemony demanded.
“Why?” I asked.
“We’re going to have a magical duel.” She said.
“Oh that’s right, you said that.” I nodded.
“Everypony make way! I have challenged Twilight Sparkle to a magic duel!” Lemony Gem yelled out, and everypony cheered.
“A magic duel, huh? Good idea. Let’s see what my teachings have brought to you.” Celestia said. “Nothing lethal though.”
“None of my magics are lethal, your highness. You know that.” Lemony Gem said to her in an innocent tone. Lemony looked down at me and said, “C’mon, Sparkle! Come up and duel me… or are you too chicken?” Lemony teased.
“You see what’s wrong with what you said? You called me a chicken, which is a figure of speech of calling me scared. If you actually think about it for a second, chickens aren’t really scared. They’re actually quite brave.” I explained.
“A chicken attacked me once after I tried getting its feather.” Spike said.
“Exactly! See what’s wrong with your insult, Lemon?” I asked.
“Fine. Are you too scared to face me?” Lemony teased.
“I am never scared of anything!” I said.
“You’re afraid of AppleJack’s dog!” Spike reminded me.
“You’re not helping.” I mumbled to him.
“What’s wrong, Twilight? Can’t handle the best unicorn in all of Equestria, hmm?” Lemony asked.
"Okay now you sound like Trixie." Spike said.
“Lemony, please move aside. I have to speak with the princess.” I said.
“You want to speak with the princess? You’ll have to go through me first!” Lemony said.
“You’re not a ghost, I can’t go through you.” I said.
“C’mon, Twilight. Don’t let her push you around like this! You can do it!” Spike said.
“Alright… fine. Let’s duel. Where’s my Yu-Gi-Oh cards?” I asked.
“Oh you won’t be needing them.” Lemony said.
“I can’t dual without my Yu-Gi-Oh cards.” I said.
“You don’t need them because we’re doing a magic duel!” Lemony said.
“I don’t feel like it.” I said. “How about an eating contest?”
“Nah, I’m no pig.” Lemony said.
“Pigs.” I mumbled to myself. "A pig ruined my life."
“How about a game of chess?” Lemony asked.
“Chess is for nerds…” I said, but I immediately corrected myself as soon as I remembered who I was. “Oh… right. Nevermind.”
“How about a rap battle?” Lemony suggested.
“I strongly dislike rap.” I said.
“Oh c’mon! Make up your mind!” Lemony complained.
“Since I’m Twilight, I say we have a study contest to see who knows better and such.” I suggested.
"That's right. All you ever do is study, study, study." Lemony complained. "You never have time for friends, because you don't have any."
"Yo, that is not true!" I yelled.
"Oh look at Twilight with her 'yo yo yo' business now! Yeah, you're really cool now aren't you?" Lemony asked sarcastically.
"Well I don't mean to brag but...." I bragged.
"You're not cool. You're far from cool. You'll never be cool." Lemony said.
“I’m not cool because I’m already hot.” I said with a wink.
“Ooooooo.” The other unicorns said shockingly.
“You’re trying my patience, aren’t you Twilight?” Lemony asked.
“Ok fine, I’ll do a rap battle with you if it gets you to stop complaining because I really need to talk to the princess.” I said.
“Fine. DJ, give us a beat.” Lemony said to Vinyl Scratch who was on the DJ stand.
“What’s Vinyl doing here? Is she a gifted unicorn too?” I asked.
Just then the DJ turned on an upbeat instrumental rap song. I just leaned on a speaker and watched Lemony start rapping. "Flare, do you even know how to rap?” Spike whispered.
"I'm from Mareami, brah. Of course I do.” I whispered.
"Good luck." Spike said in a nervous tone.
Lemony starts rapping. "To be completely honest, I just do not understand, all those beats and rhymes and rythms, but if you lend me a hand. Then I guess we could be rapping, 'cause that is what rap friends are for! But if you'd rather be rap rivals, then I'll show you to the door. Though competition's beneficial, and we'd set some wicked trends, in the sense of making progress, I would rather make some friends." Everypony started cheering for Lemony after she was done.
"Oh! A rap about friendship! That could be a winner!" Celestia said.
"Yeah you probably ripped that off from somewhere. Lemme show you how it’s done
"Go ahead. Like you know how to rap." Lemony teased.
I started to rap. "Friendship is awesome as a awesome possum and if you think it's a game you're pretty lame! Don't let me catch you or I'll throw a fit and hit your lip with your Wii Fit board till you rage quit! Don't spend a penny or any of your zenny but your friends or the Grand Slam at Denny's! This is Equestria fool! Friendship is Magic, and sometimes tragic, and look you, you're an all talk fanatic!" Everypony started cheering for me. Lemony was in shock by my wicket rhyming skills which by the way I too ripped off from somewhere, but they don’t know that. Wink, wink.
"I don't believe you Twilight! When you went to this school you were a boring, no-friend, Miss study-alot." Lemony said.
"And now I'm a fun, lotsa friend, Miss big-shot!" I said.
Lemony started to smile a bit and said, “You’re alright, Sparkle.” She then nodded at me and walked away.
“Wow, Twilight. That was amazing!” Twinkleshine said as I walked off stage.
"You really changed since you moved to Ponyville have you?" Moondancer asked.
"You can say that." I said. “Now if you excuse me. I have to talk to the princess.” Spike and I walked through the crowd and to the corridors where I last saw the princess.
“In here, my faithful student.” Celestia said from one of the double doors in the hallway.
“I don’t think we should trust her.” I whispered to Spike.
“C’mon.” Spike said as we both went inside the room the princess wanted us to go in. After we went inside, the princess used her magic to close the door.
“AAAH!” I yelled.
“Calm down, Twilight! It’s only the door.” Spike said.
“No need for that anymore, Spike. Enjoy the reunion Flare Gun?” Celestia asked with a smile.
“Well… at least I don’t have to use big words anymore.” I said.
“You haven’t used big words all night.” Spike corrected me.
“Allow me to fix that voice for you.” Celestia offered as she used her magic to disable the voice-changing pill from my body.
“Shtairs... shtairs.... shtairs.... lawl remember, shtairs.” I said as I was fixing up my voice to make me sound like my original self again, even though I still look like Twilight.
“Flare, I must say… I am quite impressed. Even though you barely acted like Twilight, at least the other ponies didn’t see the difference. You probably made Twilight the most popular unicorn in the reunion.” Celestia said.
“All according to plan, your highness! Where’s Luna?” I asked.
“Still away.” Celestia said.
“Oh.” I said. “So wait, you’re not gonna arrest me for impersonating Twilight?”
“No, of course not, but I must say that the secret magics I showed you were my most secret spells. I’m sure you understand that I can’t just show that particular magic to just anypony.” Celestia said.
“Relax, princess. I didn’t see a thing, but unfortunately, neither did Twilight.” I said.
“May I speak with her?” Celestia asked.
“I’ll put you on speaker.” I said as I pressed a button on the necklace camera which made Twilight’s voice come through. “Go ahead, Light. You’re on speaker.”
“HI PRINCESS!” Crystal yelled.
"Hello, Crystal Iceblast!" Celestia said.
“No, Twilight, not Crystal.” I corrected Crystal.
“Princess Celestia, I am so sorry for not coming to the reunion. I was feeling REALLY under the weather and was in no shape to go, but I really wanted to see your secret spells so… I sent Flare instead.” Twilight said upsettingly.
“That’s me.” I said.
“I mean, Flare was the only one who volunteered to go. I knew he wouldn’t act exactly like me, but…” Twilight paused for a moment and thought. “I guess I can’t force ponies to act like something they’re not. I can’t change Flare, no matter how hard I try, and I shouldn’t. Only he can change himself.”
“Why would I change me though? I have an awesome personality and the ladies love it!” I said.
“So explain why you don’t have a marefriend yet.” Spike teased.
“A very important lesson, Twilight. I am once again proud of you, as always.” Celestia said.
“Thank you, Princess Celestia.” Twilight said and sneezed.
“Bless you.” Celestia said.
“You know, princess. Every time to talk to ponies, no matter who they are or what they do, you never seem to be annoyed by them.” I said.
“Oh trust me, Flare, I do get annoyed sometimes. You wouldn’t really like me in the mornings.” Celestia said.
A cutaway shows Princess Celestia with a messy mane. She climbed out of bed and walked out of her room as she was wearing a pink robe, and she was levitating a cup of coffee, and she looked outside and saw it was still night time. “Luna… it’s still night.” She said.
“Hear me my subjects! Starting tonight, the night… will last…” Luna started with her Royal Canterlot Voice.
“Luna, please.” Celestia said with an annoyed tone.
“Slightly longer than usual!” Luna said.
“Luna, it’s 8 AM, please just lower the moon.” Celestia instructed her.
“Have thou never heard of Daylight Savings Time, sister?” Luna asked. The cutaway ends.
"Twilight, just to be honest. Those magic spells you didn't see on stage, well.... they weren't really my MOST secret spells." Celestia said.
"They weren't?" Twilight asked.
"Nope. But if you want. I'll come by your house tomorrow and show you my true secret spells." Celestia offered.
"I don't trust that tone." I said suspiciously.
“Anyways, I believe you all had a long day. How about I ask my guards to take you back home?” Celestia offered.
“Sure, if you want.” I shrugged. So the three of us walked out of the room, into the corridors and we went outside. When we got outside, some of the unicorns from the reunion saw us coming out and they excitedly came to us.
“Twilight! The rap battle was amazing! The way you took out Lemony Gem like that. You really changed since you moved out of Ponyville.” Twinkleshine said.
“Your twin sister(s) in Ponyville doesn’t seem to think so.” I said.
“Twilight, what’s wrong with your voice?” Minuette asked. I forgot that my voice turned back to normal, so I surprisingly covered my mouth.
“Twilight seemed to have a pretty rough day, she kind of lost her voice.” Celestia said as she winked at me. “We’re going to take her home.”
“Oh, ok. See you around, Twilight. Hope we see you again very soon.” Moondancer said. I nodded. “Also, Spike, I got the gift you gave me before you moved to Ponyville.” Moondancer took a teddy bear out of her satchel and the bear had a giant hole on its stomach.
“Sorry, Moondancer. I got hit by a door and my tail went through the present.” Moondancer said.
“Why are you sorry? I love it! It goes great with my ripped stuffed animal collection!” Moondancer said as she levitated a cart towards her with a bunch of torn stuffed animals on it. Spike, the princess and I all just looked at eachother awkwardly before Celestia sent us back to Ponyville.
When we got back to Ponyville, everypony was outside waiting for Spike and I to return. Once the royal Pegasus guards dropped us off, Twilight and the Noble Five were out to greet us. “Flare! You’re back, finally!” Engie said excitedly.
“And Spike.” Spike added.
“Flare, I don’t know how you did it. You risked the mission multiple times, and you barely acted like me, and yet you were able to pull it off. How?” Twilight asked.
“Can’t mess with the Flare Gun, Twilight. He works in mysterious ways, like the Pink Panther. The actual Pink Panther, not the dim-witted British guy.” I said.
“You did alright, man.” Blaze said. “Also while you were on your way back, Twilight’s all better!”
“Yeah I got a medication from Zecora that helped me get better instantly!” Twilight said.
“That’s good! Now that you’re able to go about being you, I could go back to being Flare! I feel like half a Flare without my vest.” I said.
“Of course, Flare! Thank you! Also… here’s your cushion, clean as a whistle!” Twilight said as she levitated my spot over to me.
“I said it once and I’ll say it again: whistles aren’t that clean, not if somepony’s mouth was on it.” I said.
Twilight chuckled and said, “Oh Flare!”
The next day came, and my friends and I all went to play another round of Paintball, but this time, Crystal joined us. The six of us were inside our safehouse, planning our strategies. “Ok, first of all, Crystal, thank you for coming.” Blaze started.
“Thanks for letting me join!” Crystal said.
“Crystal is an amazing shot. I think we have a real chance to win this week!” Blaze said.
“So what’s the plan?” Aqua asked.
“Ok. Now, we all run out. Flare and I will cut to the left behind these trees. Psyche, Aqua, and Engie will flank to the right behind the rocks. Then we’ll have a great view as Crystal runs out and kills everypony else on sight!” Blaze explained.
“Oh sure, make the girl do all the work.” Crystal complained.
“Alright, but just one thing before we start.” I said.
“What’s that?” Blaze asked. I took out my paintball gun and shot Crystal many times on her chest plate armor.
“WHAT THE HAY?!” Crystal yelled.
“That was for my cushion.” I said angrily.
“Flare, Crystal was our only hope!” Blaze complained.
“I’m sorry, Blaze, but revenge is a dish best served with lulz!” I said mischievously. “It’s so good to be me again!”
“Forget that.” Crystal said as she shot me back multiple times.
“Hey! She can’t shoot me, she’s dead!” I complained.
“He’s right, you can’t.” Blaze said as she shoots me.
“Well, if we’re going to descent into anarchy…” I said as I shoot Blaze.
“Alright, well, see y’all later.” Engie said as him, Psyche, and Aqua walk towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Blaze asked.
“Surrender then Denny’s.” Psyche said as they all went outside with their hooves up.
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