• Member Since 24th May, 2014
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

TheCrimsonDM


Artists sometimes spew creation like a fountain of colorful vomit. Other times we must work, and toil, and practice until our fingers paint our keyboard and our story red with our efforts.

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It's late at night, and something wakes Twilight from her much needed rest. After a quick investigation she discovers one of her prized possesions comepletly destroyed. She has an idea about who was responsible, but now the question is; how exactly is she going to punish them?

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 12 )

This is very heartbreaking, yet cute. I always hate it when people talk about suicide but I'm glad that Pinkie decided to come to her senses but I feel that it shouldn't have been just her friends, because she's Pinkie, and she shouldn't be ashamed of that and... sorry I'm rambling. I just think that everypony deserves to live, and nopony should think otherwise. But that's not the point of this story. I really like how you got Pinkie to confess to Twilight, and the scene at the end was hilarious :rainbowlaugh: I'm also really glad that there's another TwiPie story, because there aren't that many new TwiPie stories anymore. Sorry about the long comment, but it's an awesome story and I'm giving you a thumbs up, you deserve it :twilightsmile:

So, I basically feel you're writing was not that great. Twilight struck me as OOC, I disliked the pointless grimderp backstories you wrote for the whole group, and I don't know how to feel about you writing Pinkie as a suicide survivor. A lot of your choices result in an offputting, mediocre, out of character experience.

...But, besides all that, there was a real core to this story. I can really empathize with the fear Pinkie feels that if people know your true self, it would ruin the relationship. The fear, the helplessness, the pain. Those were all pretty real to me.

So, despite all my grievances, I gave this story an up vote. It was rough, but inside was something raw, and true, and that makes it hard for me to hold its flaws against it.

I see the potential for a couple of great jokes at the end there.

Pinkie waved a hoof in the air and said, “Okay, okay. We can make them all jelly in due time.”

Twi: I'm sure they'd appreciate some jelly Pinkie but what does making the jelly have to do with- oh you mean jealous!:twilightblush:

-After they meet up with their friends outside-
Rarity: What took you two so long?
Pinkie: Twilight was asking me out- DAMMIT i WASN'T SUPPOSE TO SAY THAT!

Well I like the story, but I really don't think that Twilight would do something like that.

6102027 I have two words for you. Lesson Zero.

It is exactly like Twilight to flip out and use her magic in such a way. Girl ain't right in the head, to be honest.

7855495
In Lesson Zero she worked herself into a frenzy and created the problem, this is calculated vindictive malice-laden interrogation with hints of sadism. There is no possible comparison between this and the episode to me.

Comment posted by Brony Soprano deleted Jan 11th, 2017

7858741 It is, but to be honest it isn't reaching too much. Yes, she was wrong to do what she did, using magic and trickery to get Pinkie into a confession, getting the others to play along with the "torture" spell illusion, and the rest of it.

She was completely, utterly, and totally out of line, and should be punished severely.

That said, she was not out of character, or at least, not by much.

7859132
She was worked up into the crazed state in Lesson Zero (over 75% of the episode) with borderline moral questionable actions, this however is 0-60 in one second build up of crazy that breaks several moral boundaries. Twilight has to have a meltdown to break out the morally questionable spells. It should be obvious that they were not in on it from what was said, and if they did know they would not have helped. This is not the mysterious mare-do-well episode it was between Pinkie and Twilight only. To summarize, I can't agree with you, but that's not stopping you from believing what you want.

“Oh that’s easy for the pretty one to say, but what if I told you that you had a really ugly mole on your left butt cheek?” Pinkie countered.

Rarity’s eyes grew wide and she quickly checked her rear and her eyes grew even wider. Rainbow Dash began laughing and Applejack shot a stern look at Pinkie.

Every fic with Pinkie is a Do Not Laugh challenge for me. You nearly got me with that one. :rainbowlaugh:

Twilight’s mind was beginning to turn from frozen shock, to burning rage as she put the clues together. Somepony had come in, and destroyed her cherished book. Somepony had then snuck out of the window using a rope. Somepony was going to, tomorrow, regret ever being born.

Oh crap. Did I just hear a cosmic explosion somewhere? The poor, poor pony who did this is SO dead!

Everypony stared at the open book, at the white paint stains inside, and at the simple drawings inside. Twilight stared at each one of the five sitting before her, making sure she made eye contact with each of them. When it came Pinkie’s turn, Pinkie Pie had a hard time keeping eye contact but forced her way through it.

Pinkie Pie.......? Are YOU.....????:pinkiegasp:

Twilight waited until everypony was good and uncomfortable before explaining in a cool even tone, “Last night somepony broke into my private library. I don’t know why they did this to my copy of ‘Starswirl’s Secrets’ but whether this is some kind of sick prank, or act of evil against me. The outcome is the same, I’m absolutely livid with them.”

Well, crap. Livid Twilight is by no means a pleasant thing........

Twilight gave her a nod before explaining, “One of you did this to me. One of you took my birthday present from Princess Celestia and destroyed it completely. One of you betrayed every bit of trust that I had in you.”

Well, that last line just hurts......bad.:fluttercry:

Twilight gave her a suspicious glance before looking away and saying. “I called you all here today because I need to know who did this to me. I’m going to be angry with whoever did this no matter what. But if you confess what you did, and tell me why you did it… the punishment will be less severe.”

P....p....punishment?? *gulp!* That can't be good!

And following everpony's denial......there's this:

Twilight closed her eyes and let out a very depressed sounding sigh. “I’m so disappointed in you. Whoever just lied to me, I’m just so disappointed.”

Not the disappointed tatic!!! I hate that!!!! Now I feel like I'M the guilty one!!!!

Pinkie Pie threw herself at Twilight’s hooves and cried, “It was me! I was the one who destroyed your book, please stop hurting Fluttershy!”

Well, that was......kinda expected.......

Silence filled the room after Pinkie Pie finished. Pinkie Pie was still laying on the floor with her eyes shut and hot tears running down the side of her face. She knew that she had screwed up, and she also knew that all of her attempts to fix it were horribly wrong. There was nothing that she could do now except wait and hope that Twilight’s revenge wasn’t so severe.

Wait? Heck no.....I'd be running for my everlovin' life!!!!!

Pinkie Pie opened her eyes and looked up at Twilight who was staring down at her with bright furious eyes. A sudden fear took hold in Pinkie’s heart as Twilight’s horn began glowing and all Pinkie could do before the light blinded her was beg, “Please, Twilight, no.”

Too late..........Pinks, you're done for.




Well written story. Loved it. And that ending.....AWWWWWWW!! :pinkiehappy:

9147831
Thank you very much. I had forgotten I wrote this. It's still one of my favorites I ever made. XD

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