• Member Since 25th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 21st, 2013

CharmingChaos


E

When shy Princess Cadence is told she has to help out with a fundraiser for school, she isn't quite sure what to think. She doesn't even know if she's good with kids. When she meets her first clients, the studious, firm Sparkles, she really doesn't think much of her new job. But that's only because she hadn't seen their adorable filly.Soon afterwards, she meets Twilight's even more adorable older brother.

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 150 )

I'm gonna read this later, as I can't now. Oh and FIRST COMMENT!

So, about Cadence's mom's name:
Lesse... Cadence is probably related to Blueblood... Blueblood is practically a direct descendant of Princess Platinum... so Cadence's mom's name should be Mrs. Platinum for now. Eureka! A temporary solution! Let's celebrate with constructive criticizim::trollestia:

First, I think Cadence's character is coming off more "cynical" than "shy," but that can be easily solved with a future chapter with her being shy, like when she finally meets Shining Armor:

"Hi! I'm Twilight's brother."

Ohsweetcelestiahe'shansomeandhe'slookingatmeandnowhe'stalkingtomewhatdoidowhatdoidookaycadenceclamdownhe'sjustaboyjustdon'tactlikeanerdjustdon'tactlikeanerdjustdon'tactlikeanerd...

"Uhh... hello? Are you okay?"

Justdon'tactlikeanerd... "Umm... I like tiaras!"

"Err... yeah... I can see that... Look, I've got to get back to training..."

(looks down) "Okay... see you around..."

Second, get a proof reader. Remember, sometimes spell check isn't enough.

Her name needs to be Lyric or Melody. To go with the whole music name thing

And then my heart gave out with that adorable little scene.

'Shiny Ammo':twilightsmile: ...There are no words to describe how cute that was. :pinkiehappy:

nice. you have earned a watch :twilightsmile:

i must ask will you contune this(sorry about spelling). very nice story i do enjoy this:yay::twilightsmile:

610428 The hell are you advertising?

how about aphrodite? Since cadance can spread love and he full name means "i love every" fits a love motif.

610469
Yeah...
1) I wrote this at 2 am and didn't feel like checking the spelling, but I will now.
2) The whole Shining Armour scene is coming, it's going to be the next chapter.

First to comment on this story. And as the first I shall set the standard by saying that this is a well written story and I greatly enjoyed it thus far. I certainly hope you continue to do your best in the effort to make this a good one. Good luck dear Brony.

Adieu~

:twilightblush: Baby Twilight is adorable.

and meet future husbando minute!

and baby twi is indeed adorable.

so much d'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww oh god my heart

Sweet Melody is fanon. (C wut I did thar?)

Cute chapter though ya got the description of Mrs Sparkle wrong

...heehee. Shiny Ammo. :twilightsmile:

Very cute little thing you have going here, please do continue.

MUST... RESIST... DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'WWWWWW

Okay, why is filly Twilight so adorable. I have no idea, but it's true.

nope, definitely nothing going on Florence.

610469

A near-EXACT copy of my comment.:ajbemused:

I love it!:twilightblush:

Ever thought of Venus? or maybe some name related to it? Venus is the god of love after all. It's a celestial body too. For the mum's name i mean. Also good story

This is very very good.

One minor nitpick: It always jolts me out of the story for a moment when you bring up a pony's "arms" since, well, technically they don't have those and forelegs aren't always such a great substitute either. :raritywink: (Not that you're the only author on this site to accidentally anthropomorphize them like that on occasion, mind.)

Also, towards the end of this last chapter, your dialogue is missing leading quotes in a couple of places:

Yes, Twilight, I'm fine. Do you want to finish your drawing for Shiny Am--- Shining Armour?"

and

Okay. Bye then. See you soon."

616288
Arm is actually the correct term. It's such a pet peeve of mine that the idea of "arms" being wrong has proliferated in the fandom. Like saying they have inverted knees, it makes me want to punch someone.

616498

Well, the only reference I can find on short notice is this Wikipedia article, but that actually seems to agree with me -- equines may have "forearms", but those are then still defined as part of the foreleg, not of a larger "arm" as such.

*slight shrug* On the other hoof, we do see ponies do things like hug each other on the show, so maybe that is just semantics.

nothing gets past florince

well im eagerly awaiting the next chapter :)

Isn't Florence a female name?

GAH!!!! just relized that theres no part after this one :raritydespair:

Twilight goes to bed at seven-thirty, sharp.

This. Explains. So. Much.:ajbemused:

This is cute. I loved the joke on "here's our phone number" - of course a magical pony would give out a spell instead!:ajsmug:

This was a sweet chapter, :twilightsmile:

I'd imagine that this would have been how they really met. :twilightsheepish:

Okay, next cha-hey! There's no next chapter? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!?:raritydespair:
Cheer up, Rarity. The next one will be here soon...I hope.

Favourite/Email Updates Check, you have me hooked. :twilightsmile:

Okay guys, here's the next chapter, I was away for a while, with no wifi, so I couldn't keep going. Sorry. :twilightsmile:

666792

Awww, but there's a typo on the second-to-last paragraph! How are you gonna fix those rouge quote marks?

We forgive you! And we read your stories!

666848
Thanks. that was really derpy of me:derpytongue2:. but it's fixed now:twilightsheepish:

I noticed that Cadence was fantasizing about Shining as a hero who saved her from certain death and they lived happily ever after then...
Just like in Shrek 3. :rainbowlaugh:

Well the next chapter should be interesting. :ajsmug:

So fare I have read about 4 or 5 stories with Cadence meeting Twilight and Shinnying Armour. The thing I like best about this story is the you have Twilight so young and that is what makes this good and cute.:twilight smile:

I like this part of the story the best. Keep up the good work.

Nothing is uglier than a short chapter. Good story though.

Nice chapters. Take as long as you like, we all know that good chapters need time. Just please don't pause your writing for dramatic effect.

Great story, but I'm allergic to short chapters.

BREAK HER HEART! MY SADISM DEMANDS IT!

keep up the good work dude!!!:heart:

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