- Member Since 27th Dec, 2014
- offline last seen Apr 24th, 2016
RattPitt
Fanfic writer of many genres & aspiring voice actor. Fluttershy is best pony. Any questions/requests/etc? Send me a PM or contact me on Twitter (@RattPitt).
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i disliked the red bar at"0 likes/0 dislikes" so have my like^^
I will read the story once it reaches around 10k words total.
What i already like is the "Mature" tag. Means, less restrictions on what is going on in the story. AAAnd its HIE
Good luck!
Hmm. An interesting start. Brought to Equestria by a (forgotten?) deity. Aside from the question of 'why was she hanging around human world waiting for someone to die', its interesting. Not a whole lot to judge the story for the sake of Story on yet. Writing wise, not big issues bugs me either. Aside from the prevalence of simple sentences. A reader pointed that same thing out to me recently, and it is sort of annoying.
One story wise issue, he was dying and had enough energy to be kicking doors and windows? And... a mix of writing and story: the accident seems rather bland. Dry I guess? Not a whole lot of description to it, and considering it was apparently one to give him injuries that lead to him dying within minutes...
Still, Curious to see where you'll be going after this.
6078486
I'll be sure to use the mature tag to its fullest, but I'll likely be avoiding clop. There aren't many non-clop mature-tagged HiE's out there.
6078506
I'll be answering your first question later in the story. Simple sentences are going to be common for a few chapters. When complex sentences are more common, be sure to pay attention to what's going on.
Mark's death is also a bit of an issue to me, to be honest. I wrote that part a long time ago and actually forgot about it until after I published this. I'll be editing it some time later to give it more detail.
6078532
If you could point out the typos, preferably in a PM, that'd be good. I'd like to fix them. Also, I like your name.
And to whoever disliked all the comments (and likely the story): If you're gonna hate, do it somewhere else. Love and tolerance, right?
@-@ *spins around on a record while "Spin me like a record " plays in the background*
6079797
The mature tag's there mostly for language. Thanks for reminding me about the gore tag. Edited it to include the tag.
6078970
I've set my sights on that reference, and nothing else will do.
6078647
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/630/915/1db.png
Your naivete does amuse me so.
6080262
There's going to be gore in Rebirth. I'm rewriting the first chapter, to add in some gore, like I said in a previous comment.
6080668
Though that could be somewhat rude to some people, I laughed a lot at that.
Also, with one look at your profile picture, I like you. Savatage? Virgin Steele? Hammerfall? For a second, I thought I was the only brony with an awesome taste in music. I guess I was wrong.
6080724
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120602181536/brutallegend/images/4/40/Headbanger.gif
I do love heavy metal.
6078647 Nah.. i have not meant clop specificaly, but a setting that is mature.
how can he be reborn if he is still in his original body? I'm done.
6088243
To be honest, I mostly use that word because it sounds cool. That, and I don't know what other word I could use to describe what Mark went through. Rebirth is the closest word I could find.
6080855
Metal is a devil screaming. It's an angel singing. It's the pouring of Creation's Hammer upon the Anvil of Time. It's fucking awesome.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Mark will meet Luna and be all scared of her and she will be hurt because she was hoping to make a new friend and Mark will feel bad a become her friend
6088243 Epona said
That means she recreated his body, leaving his original form dead.
6111729
I can confirm that some events will happen in the next chapter. I'm not going to say what events, but events will happen.
6113108
I actually forgot about that quote. Time to reread what I've written so the writer knows Rebirth better than the readers.
Hmm... If living in Canterlot means living in the castle then I say go for it
Will I never herd of a Goddess name Epona Before, huu wart dose she/he do?, great chapter by the way.
anyway off to the next chapter.
6139761
Epona's an original character, kind of. She's named after the Gallo-Roman goddess of fertility and the protector of horses, donkeys, and mules. The Epona in Rebirth is different from her, though.
keep up the great work bro
can wart to read more of this.
6140786 Awww that cool;3
6139761 search google...search epona the goddess.
6185274 awesome
6187709
Awesome in deed.
6188485
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paJf91ols1I&list=WL&index=9&spfreload=10
6188492
U just made my day!!! lol
6188514 lol
So this is a OC X Rainbow Dash fic?
6213110
I'm not going to spoil that just yet. I've got a lot more than just a date between Mark and Rainbow Dash planned.
6213638 I only ask because I was hoping for an OC X Luna fic to be honest
very interesting so far keep it up
Uhh, why does Twilight seem so surprised about film? They have a projector that's used in the show at least once (hurricane flutters by I believe).
6233158
That scene had 40's or 50's styled art and the movement of the film wasn't smooth, so it's implied that it was drawn. I'm getting two possibilities out of that part: either film is new to Equestria or the pegasi didn't have enough money to afford a better film. I doubt funding was a problem, since they had that machine to identify the wing power.
If film is new to Equestria, there wouldn't be any reason to assume Twilight wouldn't act like that. Humans were like that when film first came around in the 1890's and even more when sound came around in the 1920's.
.... I don't know, it's starting to get repetitive and annoying that he keeps just having his little thoughts and spacing out all the time
If anybody else is seeing that yellow banner thing below this saying that I removed a comment, I don't remember doing it. It's saying that I removed a comment early in the morning, which might explain why I didn't remember it. I'm not sure if it's just a glitch on my computer or something.
6235439
Mark's kind of like how I assume Pinkie would be in that manner. I've deliberately given him some traits of the Mane 6, and Mark got a Pinkie-like train of thought. And to reply to your previous comment (that I somehow missed), Luna's going to be appearing a lot more. I won't say if it's necessarily romantic or not, but you can expect more of her to appear.
Luna was just looking for an excuse to run away, wasn't she?
I searched up the Ramstein disaster and it wasn't hard to watch at all. That should probably scare me to some degree.
6293698 thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/devil-horn-hand-5483623.jpg
6314118
Yep
Great story. Pls take off hiatus?
6439930
The hiatus will be lifted in a few days. I'm going to continue Rebirth after my next story comes out, which will be within the week.
Rainbow was incoherent with when she was talking about years.
That is actually somethings that annoys me. In many fics Twilight will just pick up the protagonist and just take him or her wherever she wants. I get that in this case she is a friend that is worried about Mark but she is still forcing him to go somewhere he doesn't want to . And he can't fight back at all
6476635
I'm not going to argue against that. Actually, I agree with you. I would add something onto that, but it would spoil something I have planned for Mark. If it helps, this is the only time I plan on having Twilight doing this sort of thing.
Ya know...not every inhabitans is pony right?
6476727
Yep. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I wrote that chapter. It's an old one. I did plan on rewriting the first couple of chapters, but now that I think about it, it's probably best to keep them this way to show that I'm evolving as a writer. Just reading this chapter to see what you were referring to tells me just how much I've improved.
It's Xenophillia, god damn it, man!
Hhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehegehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehhehehehehebeheh3heheheheheheheheheh3hehehh3h3h3heh3heh3hh3heheh3h3hdheh3h3heh3h3ehh3eh the hheh3hrhhehdhdbn ed hhshhdhehbxhehdhbdb3bhdbehdh E h E h ed h3hehhhhh ed hehxhh ed heh3hehehehxhehehehehxh hbabbshhxhehh eh ehh eh
And tactical nukes.
6476654 are you going to to at least have Mark pissed at Twilight for a bit? I know I would be if I was dragged somewhere against my will.