• Member Since 24th Jun, 2012
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Talon and Thorn


A series of short stories and extended scenes featuring various characters from the Lunaverse all on the general theme of families.

New chapters should be added daily for about the next week

1) New Arrival - Raindrops
2) Picnic - Trixie
3) In Loco Parentis - Cheerilee
4) Sick Day - Ditzy Doo
5) The Argument - Lyra
6) Sweat of her brow - Carrot Top

7) Growing up - Luna
8) My Family's File - Puissance

9) Missing - Cheerilee Guest chapter by thatguyvex

My entry to the April Lunaverse writing challenge.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 52 )

I didn't even read it but I'm sure its good

There was an April Lunaverse writing challenge? I'm going to have to keep a closer eye on the group.


Well thank you but I generally prefer people read my stuff just in case,


Yeah, I'm currently running challenges every other month, not a great deal of interest this time.

Awww. This was the right level of heartwarming. :twilightsmile:

It touched on the feeling of jealousy that a lot of old siblings feel when a new arrival comes and the frustration that Raindrops would feel about Snails forcing the whole family to accommodate him.

Yet the growing affection is there and you can tell Raindrops will grow to love Snails very much.

I will admit that you've got me genuinely interested in a sequel of sorts, mainly dealing with the family arriving to Ponyville and Raindrops dealing with life on the ground.

Nicely done.

This story is made of d'aww and win.

I noticed that you made reference to Raindrop's larger story line: her anger, her fear OF her anger and her need not to be defined by either trait.

That was SO touching!! :pinkiesad2::fluttercry::twilightsmile:


I have wondered what her school life was like and how she interacted with the other future mane-6 (and other Ponyville ponies) from my understanding Lyra, Bon Bon and Cheerilee are all several years older than her so she might not have interacted much with them even though they were probably at school together, depending on how we bend the time line Ditzy might arrive in town the same time as Raindrops give or take had she and the drops family both have the issue of raising a bouncing baby unicorn (surges and all) so they might be close. Carrot Top probably isn't about for much of the time at that point just a few summer holidays and of course Trixie will be up at Canterlot.

It might be interesting to decide who in Ponyville is Raindrops's peers we don't have many late teen Pegasus about, Thunderlane maybe?

Interesting......the people she's with right now are pretty much her surrogate family.....

This is a nice little slice of life. technically, nothing happens, but we learn much about the family of the Great & Powerful Dame Representative Beatrix LulaMoon and how she feels about friends and family.

So I read this time and it was good:derpytongue2:

This is a nice story. I wonder whether AppleBloom could have bucked the ball out of the tree. She learns the magical finesse for magically severing the stems of ripe apples without injuring the appletrees. She could probably target her magical buck for severing the ball from the tree.

Seems kind of wierd to have the birth up in Cloudsdale when it's well known ahead of time (enough so that there's bullying about it) that the foal was going to be a unicorn. Just feels like an unnecessary risk. Then again, pegasi.

Ignoring that meaningless nitpick, great look at the very beginning of Raindrops' relationship with her brother.

Well, the actual one seems to be something of a tool so Silver will pretty much have to be Gibbs to her most of the rest of the cast of NCIS.

I think in the last part you confused Ditzy for Dinky



An actual replacement of their names or just how I had the characters act?


I don't think Ditzy's dad is all that bad, they had a rocky patch but they've put that behind them, it's just that he lives a long way way and everybody need someone to look after and mother (father) them when they're sick.

5924850 “I had to see her to bed,” said Dinky leaning against the door frame, “Besides, I’m feeling much better now.” She yawned again.

That was a lot of internal monologue.

Ah, my. It's sort of a mess when spouses fight, isn't it?

This is definitely my favorite story in the collection. Like I complimented you on already, good job making me root for a tree.

Root. Heh.

Don't tell Carrot Top, but it feels like Peachy was a Lunaverse version of Bloomberg. Didn't make it any less enjoyable, though.


Blasthemy! To think that poor little Peachy could be anything like a #shudder# apple!

I think somepony underestimates her niece at her own peril. The Reborn Sun might be the one that removes the description "Tyrant" from the previous Sun.

Aw man, this was so sweet. I love seeing interaction between Cadence and Luna. I liked the historical perspective too, it's a nice check-up to where RDD's story left off.

Ah, Puissance, you crazy ol' bat...

Great. She's Good Socialist Elly Patterson from "For Better Or For Worse" in that she's owning their horses because only she can decide what's best for them.

I hope Cheerilee gets to eat that toffee eventually, she definitely deserves it.

You know, the more I read about Puissance, the more afraid I'm getting about her. Right about now she has surpassed Corona. What I like the most is how hypocrite she is. For example.

No pony would prey upon her family!

I think she's doing a fine work on her own on preying on her family that they don't need an outside force for that. :twilightblush:

Puissance is a pretty awesome example of the villain who you loathe and despise until something bad actually happens to her, and then you feel something akin to pity. She's like a broken Jon Voight at the end of Varsity Blues, staring at all of his now meaningless trophies as he packs up his office or some of Ed Harris' characters (Christof, Francis Hummel). There's also that "I didn't have to choose power over love. I got both." bit that I'm sure she wouldn't allow Violet to copy... I'm sure she expects her children to set a better example for society than she does. Kind of a "Do as I say, not as I do... but if you must do as I did, do it better."

On a more whimsical note, thanks to our cuckoo clock, my dog knows the song Trink, Trink, Brüderlein Trink.

I had been wondering if the Lunaverse was going to acknowledge Cherry Blossom or not...

This is a sad story.

It is easy to read because each paragraph has whitespace around it and starts with an indent.

Great take on Silver Script and his relationship with Ditzy and Dinky, I think it came off exactly as intended.

Lyra grinned as she said the figure. “That... that’s quite a bit,” gasped Bon Bon sounding shocked.

Well, this could be going wor–

“Yep, a few more gigs like this and you can be my kept mare,” she joked, “You’ll never have to make another sweet as long as you live!”

Lyra, stop, stahp! :pinkiegasp:

Ehh, at least they made up pretty quickly.

Peachy lives!

I think this may also be my favorite, at least so far.

That was a really fun look at a much younger Cadance. Though to be fair, if her consort is as elderly as presented, she is only 'young' compared to Luna and nearly nobody else.

I especially approve of what we see of her attitude towards family, so much more healthy than her mother's. I can't help but suspect that the Night Court would have been so much less of a problem over the centuries had it been populated by ponies who directly considered themselves to be the adopted descendants of Luna as opposed to just fellow rulers a step or two down in rank.


Cadence is probably in the 60's to 80's age bracket for the story, so yeah, young for an immortal but probably older than most of her fellow rulers.

I can see a few problems with a government consisting only of Luna's 'decendants', families fight as much if not more than unrelated individuals and Luna may have some problems being objective when dealing with the. The nepotism of the system is problematic (although that's probably already a problem in the current Night Court), I suppose new blood can always be brought in via further adoption.

Every once in a while, in the dark of night when things are looking down and all hope seems lost, I think to myself, "At least I'm not related to Vicereine Puissance."

Interesting. Feels like a sequel hook for something, possibly a world tour story.

6027870 Mostly I was thinking that it would mean Luna would be in a position to more easily intervene in the situation of nobles that aren't living up to her standard, both before and after they're in the Court itself.

Also, it might have resulted in something other than the cycles of corruption we've been told she's let happen over the years, and IMO nearly any amount of additional meddling on her part would have been a good thing.

Just idle thoughts, though.

This was friggin' adorable. :D Raindrops, you best big sister!

Like this a lot. Good world/family-building. I'm kinda like Sharpie with my toys. :D

Silver Script, you're a good stallion. :)

It's not too bad, Talon. It's the expected route, and you did well with them.

That was awesome, yes. :D *Glares at Twilight* Be quiet!

Well, that was pretty badass of Cadance. Kinda hope that asshole Zuzen presses her.

Ah, Puissance. how I loathe you.

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