• Member Since 29th Jan, 2013
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Exilo


T

This story is a sequel to But You Also Get Some Sun


Ditzy Doo has a date with Time Turner tomorrow, and wow is she nervous. She goes to talk to Mrs. Cake, hoping the maternal mare might give her some motherly advice. Sure its awkward, but Mrs. Cake is more than happy to help.

Short, fluffy, cute fic, with some slightly dark undertones, but mostly fluffy and cute. Rated Teen just to be safe.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 20 )

There are several little grammar errors, but overall this was a nice little story. :twilightsmile: Thumb up.

5041370 Grraarr, really? Uck. I know it sounds like an excuse, but I do work hard during the editing phase. Not to mention some rules are so obscure I know them, I just don't notice them.

I oughta get a beta reader. But I need to be popular to get a beta reader. And I need to reach the Feature Box to get popular. And I need a beta reader to get in the Feature Box... the system won't let me in!

5041447
You don't have to be popular to get an editor. (For example, I won't edit a story just because it's popular.) It all depends on where you go, who you ask, and how you write.

Wasn't Warren Peace the name of the fire guy from that movie Sky High?

5041474 I have tried finding editors. Often times they say they will then never get back to me. I would rather just strengthen my own editing skills. It's hard, but at the same time, what does it really matter, when the Feature Box stuff looks like a toddler penned it?


5041766 I am afraid I do not know that, as I never saw that movie. Whenever I have some free time, I try to think up punny names. "Warren Piece" (War and Peace) was just a stock name I had, and I liked the implications about his character: rugged jock/soldier boy Pegasus who looked down on earth ponies.

Hallmark was originally going to be named "Mark Hall" (Hall, Mark legally), but I changed it since I didn't think anyone would catch the reference. The implication of the name being he's a pretty boy unicorn.

I come up with so many names though. Like, Vinyl Scratch's father is named Samuel Sung (Samsung) and built the stereo system that allowed Filly!Vinyl to first do some demo tapes. And I have more, but I won't break the system listing them.

5041447 Did I offend you? If so, I'm really sorry. :fluttershysad:

5041447 I'd be happy to edit/beta read for you. I've been doing it for Lady Brony, so I have a track record.

5042604 Oh, no, not at all. I am just frustrated with myself for having missed some things.


5044736 Thank you. I will keep you in mind. That is very generous of you.

5045338 Oh alright. :pinkiesmile: We all miss stuff sometimes. Keep at it!

Great. You've turned her to Abby "I'm the only person who can kill someone and not leave a trace" Sciuto.

5048924 Sorry, I live under a rock. Who is Abby Sciuto?

And that's exactly the reason I cut the line from the canon. References to Cupcake in an otherwise fluffy fic are overdone and generally poorly done, Ms. Cake ended up seeming like a bitch, and it just felt out of place. I liked the line, and it's a reference to a sitcom I watched growing up, but as any good writer will tell you, sometimes you have to remove what you love to make the strongest fic you can.

That was a nice little story, it was very sweet and it showed Mr.s Cake's motherly side well.
Thanks for writing it and I added it to the group I admin and gave it a Thumbs up.

Good luck Best wishes.

5050188 Thank you very much for placing my fic in your group. But You Also Get Some Sun was a chance to develop a lot of personalities. The Ms. Cake one was a strong point that I adored, so I am happy you have enjoyed this fic.

Bloody brilliant.great job

5076849 I am happy you enjoyed. I will take a guess and say you like Turner and Ditzy?

This is a very sweet fic, I really liked Cup Cake acting as Ditzy's agony aunt. I will say though, in the last story we learned Ditzy hates being patronized more than anything. I sure hope she never finds out about Cup's conversation with Time Turner behind Ditzy's back.

Cup's story of how she fell in love with Carrot was very touching. Is it just me, or would Ditzy just prefer only blueberry muffins, but she orders whatever fad pastry the Cakes are selling this week because she considers them friends?

I do hope this saga has a sequel involving Blueblood in the Griffon Empire.

5584933 I think there is a line between "patronizing" and... I guess perhaps motherly concern. Ditzy might initially be a little frustrated that Cup is still treating her like a child, but her anger would falter rather quickly. I personally think Ditzy never knew her parents, which is one reason why she is so motivated to be good to Dinky.

Uck, now I can only imagine a sitcom situation of Dinky getting mad at Ditzy for acting too motherly and protective, after Ditzy got mad at Cup for the same thing.

5632315 I agree there is definitely a line between motherly/sisterly concern and patronizing someone, and Cup Cake's advice and guidance on love fall into the area of motherly concern. However, I think going behind someone's back apropos of nothing to do the whole "if you hurt her you will suffer" threat is pretty clearly on the side of patronizing. Then again, I always feel that general threat comes off as demeaning to the supposed protectee, regardless of the relationships involved.

I would definitely watch a sitcom with overly protective Derpy getting yelled at by Dinky. "Mom, Pip Squeak says none of his pirate accessories have come in the mail for the last 3 weeks." "Well if Pip wanted his mail to arrive, he shouldn't have taken Apple Bloom to the school dance then!"

“ The Apple Core .” Turner can’t keep a grin from spreading across his lips. “Mr. Macintosh is going to cook us a special dinner, a little thank you for a repair job I did a while ago. He’s going to close the bar and let us eat by candlelight, while he, Applejack, and Apple Bloom serve as our waiters.”

the apple family starting a restaurant makes perfect sense. i'm surprised more fics don't think of this idea

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