Tirek. Discord. The Changelings.
The ponies have faced all these threats, and triumphed, but things could have been handled better. Princess Celestia knows this better than most. She knows that to face threats even greater than Tirek, greater than Discord, the ponies need allies. They need friends to turn to when the chips are down and the mad gods and cruel tyrants are on the horizon
She and Princess Twilight Sparkle travel to the Griffon Kingdom to meet the Griffon King. They seek to negotiate a formal treaty, something more than a rudimentary "You stay in your yard, we'll stay in ours." If the Changelings invade, or Tirek is once more a threat, it will not only be the ponies standing against them, but the griffons as well. It's only logical, after all. The griffons and the ponies share a border. They share ideas. They share refugees and concepts and cultures. And there haven’t been any major hostilities since the Pony-Griffon War. That was almost a thousand years ago.
It is logical to enter an alliance, but politics aren’t always about logic. Sometimes they are about past crimes, mistakes, and tragedies. Sometimes, past grudges simply can't be let go.
(Rated Dark and Teen for some disturbing content, though nothing too heavy or overt)
Coverart from Pie on furAffinity
That is a lot of world building in a short time. Well done.
Well, I like the general sentiment of this fic, as well as the world-building, but I had a few major issues. First off, the decision to go with first person present tense was a poor one. While this particular writing style is conducive to present tense, I felt the combination of first person Twilight and a present tense narration was off-putting.
My other major issue was your characterization of Twilight. She felt off throughout most of this fic. You focused heavily on her insecurities and ignored the more obsessive and inquisitive nature of her personality. Her thinking 'pidgin' was 'pigeon' felt strange, because Twilight is the kind of character to be constantly asking questions, it seemed like she should have been spouting off questions throughout the trip, as well as being more optimistic than she was portrayed.
Overall, I feel like an optimistic and inquisitive Twilight would have offset the more brooding Celestia well. While this fic was enjoyable, Twilight was just off too much. She wasn't portrayed as nearly as intelligent as she has been shown to be, which makes the first person choice dangerous. When I read a fic with first person Twilight, I expect to be inundated with questions, obsessions, and a mind constantly flitting from idea to idea, not this staid and insecure presentation.
Quite the fic, and quite the window into some fascinating world building. Twilight's little revelation to the King at the end makes sense, but a little different than expected (I was honestly expecting Gilford to have had one or more of his own eggs down there, showing he could forgive the loss of anything but one of his own). The honorary griffons and the rest are fascinating ideas and I would love to see you explore the kind of world they'd build.
I do hope that you take advantage of the pages and pages of notes, as you so put it, and treat us to some more views of it.
Very very difficult to find something wrong, like wrong wrong with the story. I liked it quite a lot.
I agree with FoolRegent partly, but I feel Twilight was just a little off, I could see her standing up to Gilford like she did, emboldened by both her outrage and the effects of the brandy. However I would also expect she would moments after making her challenge be just barely holding her self back from outright panic, questioning what she had just done, convinced she had triggered the next Pony-Griffon war by acting hastily.
I must say, I enjoyed this story. Just the right amount of angst and the fact that the worst grudges or the old ones that are so hard to forgive. Especially the ones where the principals are still alive to remember them. The play outright reminds the present gernerations of what happened so long ago and was a insult and a reminder directed at Celestia. And it did, and the Brandy was to get her to lower her defences, and it did. And yet the Griffon King knows he is as much at fault as Luna or Celestia that drives the story.
Great, great story and world that you built but i kinda wish the the king told Twilight to fuck off with her last few statement or that there was more of a conflict because this just seemed like a "howdy do" now lets get drunk and talk politics and old wounds.
but that is all my opinion and i thank you lots for bring us a very good story about politics and world shaking events that doesn't just flat out make a villain of one side or the other both are equally guilty in their own way
A little tip when playing ETW, never ever EVER! Try to make an alliance. Those allies you have are like the Spanish during the War of the Spanish Succession and you're like the French. They do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! In Civilisation V, you must not be a friend to Ghandi because he will drag enemies to you and disaster and plague and so on. Actually, don't have any ally in Civ V they're gonna f**k you up anyway
Said the mare with a link to Friendship/Magic itself, as she stood beside her mentor, Celestia, the mare whom the sun itself bows to...
Bravo! I would love to see more in this universe. Perhaps a crisis courtesy of Lawful?
Equestria had a mad tyrant in Discord, an Avatar of Chaos to contradict Harmony. So the Griffins have Lawful, a queen of absolute Order to contradict their peoples' Freedom? Are they two sides to the same coin, spawned of the same cosmic balancing? (Heck, if Discord is a hodge-podge of creatures, is Lawful featureless, nigh-embryotic to a point where she looks like anything?)
Come to think of it, the ancient rulers of Equestria are the Princesses of the Sun and Moon, a symbol of balance, order, and Harmony. The Griffins have their Shepherd of the of the Winds (a great idea, by the way; it's nice to see a stroy where another country on the planet of the ponies has an equally immortal ruler as Celestia and Luna, who also controls a fundamental piece of nature). Is the wind, their flight, a the very currents of the air a symbol of Freedom? Is that what their culture values as much as Equestria does Harmony?
Are the Griffins American?
... I needed to take a break after reading this sentence... I don't like to think of Ponies lowering themselves to that, especially under the rule of The Princesses so I dearly hope I'm reading this wrong.
whoa. just whoa.
That was... like... whoa. you broke my mind. this fic was that good.
and the end... it made me cry. and that doesn't happen often.
also, I would very much like to read about that lore you mentioned. maybe turn them into extra chapters?
edit: in the end Gilford gave me the "how can i forgive you if i cant forgive me" kind of vibe.
This is an interesting premise, but you use 'kiss' distractingly often, and your voice for Twilight lacks believability in narration. It felt short and without meat to its subject, with minimal characterization and far too much told to the reader that wasn't shown. Sticking with the tight formality came across not as regal, but as stiff and longwinded in a way where the dialogue was uninteresting.
Stop living in the past, Celestia
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..And now I'm seeing it too, essh.
So Luna and Celestia used their powers against the griffins as a surprise attack while Gilford would never do the same back? Yeah I'd never forgive them either. If Gilford loved his griffins as much as the sisters love their ponies I'm surprised he didn't just go mad and try to kill as many ponies as he could in retaliation to such a betrayal.
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I've thought that first, too.
But let's look at this from this perspective: Luna and Celestia want to negotiate peacefully. Gildford refuses. Meanwhile, his Griffons enslave, torture, mutilate, and eat the ponies.
After two years of that, wouldn't you come to the conclusion that Gilford is in favour of that? Unlike Celestia, he never denied it.
5568105 And the ponies were killing eggs, so it's not like they were exactly innocent of anything at all either.
He was "thrown" into his "thrown", I see...
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Yes, they were killing eggs. And Celestia explicitly said she didn't condone any of it. Gilford made no comment. Moreover, he didn't make any attempt to end the bloodshed peacefully, which goes to the point I was making.
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Neither side was innocent. Gilford´s point is the Sisters were the ones who used mass destruction weapons aka the Moon while him didn´t, before or after the flood.
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Celestia may have never condoned it, but she certainly made no effort to stop it. Ever hear the quote, "Evil prevails when good men do nothing"?
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Then that means...
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/df/Theodore_Roosevelt_circa_1902.jpg
Gillfords Theodore Roosevelt!?
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That means that the ponies are ... uhm, hang on. America kinda lost Vietnam but weren't conquered as a result, they were on the winning side of that one, won that one, won that one ... winning side there. Fought itself and 'won.'
Shit, I guess Equestria is Bizzaro!Britain. Instead of being a part of one and then becoming a nation itself, the Gryphon Kingdom was a nation that was temporarily conquered by the ponies ... except the Brits would have kept it all and laughed haughtily while the ponies gave at least part of it up.
OR these could be fictional fantasy nations without direct Earth equivalents. I guess. (This sounds worse than it really is, I was making a joke that got out of hand. Sorry.)
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Which was the intent of the author.
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No, that's not true. She did. Luna and she reached out to Gilford again and again, they both acknowledge that. But Celestia couldn't possibly be everywhere. The only way to stop the massacres would've been to stop the war: Stop the Griffons from doing horrible things to the ponies and the ponies from doing horrible things in return, and so on, and so on.
But they couldn't stop the war because Gilford refused to negotiate.
Now what was that saying..? "Evil prevails when good men do nothing".
Nope I would have killed her right then nope twilight would be dead nope nope nope
So this is one of the authors that, once seen, you don't forget. Interesting.
In retrospective it seems almost absurd that this site seems to forgive long titles, present tense and first person narrative easier and more willingly than the simple decision against the usage of empty lines. They still feel a bit forced. I personally don't think they fit your writing style too well, but certainly how you made use of them is but perfectly flawless execution.
I am glad to tell you that, during the read, it was apparent how much work this story received. Both technically and by content. It is not too often that an author (on this site, mind you) who dares to make use of present tense in the narrative doesn't fall back into past tense here and there. I, for one, didn't find such a foul verb.
Also, airships. I adore airships. Speaking of them, I want to take a peak into the future. With this story you proofed that you are capable of world building, given enough time of course. With that experience made, I wonder, if your traits now will add up in what perhaps or perhaps not could develop into an opus magnum. Maybe it would be the right moment to stop lying down your stories into perfect emptiness and start building something around them. What I am talking about, obviously, is a longer story, an adventure containing airships if I dare to make a wish. With Blueblood's series you already made the experience of writing something of mediocre length, and now with the intense world building, it seems almost to be the only proper decision. You write yourself that you weren't able to bend in everything you thought of, and at times the story seemed to suffer from lack of context, in which you could have deployed those ideas. What you built here without any surroundings or meanings you could in future perhaps pack into something that the reader, like you in your mind, can connect.
Not to say that the new challenge of such a thing would keep you from finding yet new ways to separate your stories from the masses by technique. Since you are still around, chances are that you got the energy to finish something large, and to have this long planned work as a stepping stone for something even greater doesn't sound unreasonable to me at all. As others said, this shows a great premise and proper world building, but the lacking context weakens the characters participating in this world, and details that could be meaningful are doomed into dullness.
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Nope. Celestia could have made a decree openly denouncing the egg atrocities, but she didn't. Celestia could have acknowledged the practice as a war crime, persecuting those who committed it, but again she didn't. She never tried to stop it. If anything, she seemed perfectly fine with the Eggtrocities continuing as long as she wasn't personally involved. Now Gillford had his own role in letting the war drag on, a war in which the Griffins did terrible things, but blaming the Ponies own war-crimes on the Griffins is both biased and slightly disturbing at best.
5566794 I think a big thing about Twilight is she simply is not comfortable about the situation. She has a simmering degree of concern about griffons, and when she meets Gilford, who towers over Celestia, she’s utterly horrified. Playing up her insecurities was simply that she isn’t in her comfort zone. When she goes to Ponyville the first time, for example, she’s very distant, and those are ponies she knows are no threat to her. I also love the concept of evolution. As Twilight gets more comfortable around Gilford and Geraldine, she would be much, much happier to ask questions. Like I said, I write… so much more lore than I can ever include. I mean, if I had included everything I wanted to, just in this fic, it would have been well over 30,000 words. I had to cut a huge swath of the fic, which better developed Lawful, and explained a lot about why Gilford wasn’t willing to stop the war. A sequel perhaps, would work well, since Twilight would definitely ask about Lawful.
I just, personally, feel that playing up the insecurities was important because Twilight is insecure. She isn’t with her friends. She is with Celestia, of course, but she’s also speaking to the “Griffon Version” of Celestia, so that might cancel it out. And, the “pigeon” thing was her asking questions. She hypothesized Geraldine was some sort of Crow-Griffon, while Gilford and Gilda are Eagle-Griffons. You know, it is actually interesting you mention her asking questions. I was going over notes, and she originally questions why they’re called the Murder. In that case, the fact that she wouldn’t quickly deduce a Murder is a group of crows, all the members have black fur, seemed odd since it’s a term she would know. Then, her commenting on it at all seemed out of character, even to herself. It is just interesting. We have very different views of Twilight. Neither is wrong, please keep in mind! But I really try to come up with every reason everything happens in my fics.
I can just say, she will be much more optimistic in the future. By the end of the fic, she views Gilford the same was as Celestia, and that will help her bond. And yes, she would also ask many more questions, especially to Geraldine. I actually have in my notes a short idea where Twilight uses a glamour spell to appear as a griffon, and goes into the city with Geraldine. But for this first part: Twilight is on her first diplomatic mission, she’s feeling an enormous amount pressure about the diplomacy since she genuinely wants it to succeed, she’s in a strange land, she has none of her friends at her side, she’s surrounded by griffons who could rip her apart, and she’s later addressing a griffon who towers over Celestia. To me, insecurity, fear, and quietness seem logical.
5566875 heh, you know, that was never an option for me, it being some of Gilford’s eggs. Simply because he’s, you know, gigantic. I can’t imagine him ever being able to do something with a female griffon like that. But beyond that, I don’t like the thought of him putting his own children in front of anyone else. That almost strikes me as… uncaring. Like Celestia, Gilford considers all of his subjects his children, which is why I tried to hint at Geraldine viewing him as a paternal figure.
5566970 That’s actually a thought I like: Twilight delivering her speech and physically standing strong, only for just what she did sinking in her and being utterly terrified what would happen next. Either, she just ruined everything and the griffons and ponies would never get along… or Gilford would eat her. That is a nice thought, but too late now. But I can remember for next time, since I would like to work with Gilford more. He actually seems to be warmly received. I was… terrified people would see OC and instantly hate him, since I care so deeply for him.
5567075 The play is a bit complicated. The “monsters” are actually a mixture of Celestia and Lawful. Lawful was originally more developed. In the scene where Twilight finds the portrait of Aris and Geraldine I, she was going to find an oil painting of Gilford fighting Lawful. It didn’t work right, so I cut it, but yes. Lawful has the appearance of an armored satyr, dressed in white, with heavy boots over her hooves. THAT is the reason why the monsters had heavy weights on their feet. There are still some hints at Lawful, Gilford referring to her as a “hoofed tyrant.” Most of all though, while it was a slap in the face to Celestia… the griffons don’t necessarily consider the monsters ponies. In their popular culture, the ones responsible for the flood were some sort of white demons, as opposed to the pony who lives next store.
5567413 The simple fact is: Twilight is used to those miracles. She has seen Celestia raise the sun hundreds, if not thousands of times. While impressive, seeing it again and again tends to lose some of its WOW factor. This is something new for her to experience, as well as the intimidation she is feeling. As she keeps pointing out, despite trying very hard to learn about griffons, there just isn't all that much information on them, so there is tons of uncertainty.
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I got that; familiarity breeds contempt, and so on.
Just a small, slightly sarcastic observation about a line I thought was humerus.
5567483 I… totally want Discord and Lawful to team up now. Gilford, Geraldine, Celestia, Luna, the Elements of Harmony, the Murder, and the Royal Guard all gather together and make a plan. Despite that, they are beyond all measures of terrified. They converge on where Discord and Lawful are based, infiltrate their home and… find them arguing like children about every tiny thing under the sun. Eventually, they turn their powers against the other and defeat themselves. The team breathes a sigh of relief.
5567492 By the moon, someone gets it! I sort of admit, this comment almost brought me to tears, since it is what I was working so hard on. Oh, again, I wish I could have included the original scene with Lawful. It would be an oil painting of Gilford fighting her. Twilight would see it, and having never seen a portrait of Lawful, she would take in the details. But yes. Discord is a hodge-podge of creatures. Lawful has an appearance reminiscent of a satyr covered in white armor: bipedal, very tall, vaguely androgynous. Whatever cracks in her armor make her flesh appear to glow white. And yes, the idea was that they are two sides of the same coin. Even their method of disposal was crucial: Discord was defeated and sealed in stagnant stone. Lawful was defeated and torn apart, with her pieces constantly shifting on the winds. I at least associate Discord with fire: uncontrollable, dangerous, unpredictable, passionate, “hot.” Lawful is associated with ice: cold, intellectual, stagnant, meticulous.
I… I’m so touched that you like the idea of Gilford, and that he has been well received. Like I said to someone else, I really was terrified people would see “OC” and dismiss him. But yes, griffons associate with wind for its freedom, and Gilford for that. The reason why Gilford was unwilling to negotiate with Celestia during the war was, after living for thousands of years under Lawful, he was terrified of becoming a tyrant himself and so refused to do almost anything to rule them.
The only thing is: the griffons don’t really represent America. It’s fascinating how many countries people are comparing them to. They have a lot of different themes to them. Gilford, being a “god” of storm and missing an eye are both references to Norse mythology (Thor and Odin respectively). The griffons as raiders early in their life and barbarian tribes is a reference to Vikings and Celts. The Honorary Griffon League is a reference to the French Foreign Legion. So it actually makes sense that people see different things. But above all else: they are simply griffons. Thank you for reading the fic. I am so happy about its reception.
5567554 Like everything else in this fic, it’s riff with complexity. Considering Gilford and Celestia both admit that their people did some pretty horrible things during the war, some ponies did lower themselves. That being said, the vast majority were consensual relations. The ponies were occupying griffon land, the griffons were occupying pony lands. In fact, Aris’ parents were both extremely supportive of him, and his father was one of the first to apply for citizenship by joining the H.G.L. Sadly, that actually caused Aris feeling torn between two words, and also inspired him to work so hard to try to mend fences between the ponies and the griffons. So, there is complexity, but the vast majority of relationships were consensual. I hope that eases your thoughts.
5567622 I would like to do more fics. Twilight learning about Lawful. Twilight learning about the War. Etc. When I have more time, I hope to write more. If you have any questions though, please do let me know here or on a note.
5567625 I have a problem with repeating words, I have noticed. I am trying to work on it, but since I don’t necessarily see the problem, it’s hard to catch. It is a problem I am working on, though.
I have had complaints about my use of dialogue. EqD especially. That being said, and while I respect your opinion absolutely, I don’t view it as a problem. The great novels that I grew up reading are filled with dialogue, and I love every moment of them. Frankenstein is, quite literally, nothing but dialogue. The entire novel is Victor telling his story to the sea captain. At one point, the Monster tells Victor a story, so we have a character telling a character a story while said character tells another character a story. I understand the dislike of lots of dialogue, but I just don’t see it as a flaw in a story. I hope you liked despite the problem, though.
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I… don’t actually want to get involved in this conversation. I encourage you to develop your own thoughts about the morality. I am beyond all measures of touched that you seemed to have been impacted enough you want to defend it. Thank you, all of you, for thinking that hard about the story.
I can only say: Celestia and Gilford had reasons for what they did. If they were right, if they were wrong… that’s up to you. Again, just thank you.
5569219
Oh, that would be beautiful. You must write it!
5569097 I actually do just have to interject about one thing: just because a decree or law is passed does not mean everyone will follow it. Otherwise, the laws against murder, rape, theft would be much more efficient. The sad thing is, Celestia cannot be everywhere, nor can she know everything that is going on. If two soldiers find a nest of eggs and smash them, and neither report it... what can she do? If a whole platoon have that practice, and none of them report it... what can she do? Celestia has never been portrayed as omnipotent, or even that powerful. Similarly, even if Gilford passed a decree that eating ponies it outlawed (which he eventually does once the H.G.L. is more prominent), he knows full well that none of the griffons on the front line will follow it, nor can he know which ones did. But hey: that's the point. Celestia, Luna, and Gilford were in a horrible, horrible situation, and though they each had their reasons for what they did, none of them were necessarily 100% or good.
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I think you may have misunderstood the intent of my complaint about Twilight's characterization, which, considering the rather lackluster attempt I made to make my comment make sense, is entirely my fault. I found the actions Twilight took to be at best only a little more focused on her being out of her depth than I would have liked and I certainly agree that that is down to interpretation of her character.
My issue was with how you portrayed Twilight's thoughts. You made the choice to write in first person present tense. If you're going to make that decision, all power to you, but you have to give a reason for me to believe it was the right one. Nothing about this fic, for all the wondrous amount of world-building and lore you added, makes me feel like I've experienced the event from the point of view of Twilight. Maybe if it had been a nameless guard accompanying the Princesses, it would be fine, but when I'm in Twilight's mind, I don't expect a dry explanation of events punctuated by moments of shame and fear.
Twilight is insecure, obviously, but she has so many other traits that aren't touched on. There is so little emotion in her portrayal except for about when she's insecure. We get paragraphs detailing her fear of not impressing Gilford, of her shame at clapping after the play, of her building to the point where she snaps at Gilford, but so little spent on what should have been her excitement at experiencing a new culture, her delight in learning new things, and her deep seated admiration for Celestia, which seems to take at best a back seat to the endless shaming she inflicts upon herself in her own thoughts. You say you had Twilight originally ask why it was called the Murder. It makes sense that she wouldn't ask that, but why wouldn't she think about it in some way, acknowledge it so that we the reader get a deeper glimpse into her mind? I suppose in many ways I'm arguing that this fic should not have been written in the first person from Twilight's point of view because I found your interpretation of how she thinks to be distracting at best and out of character at worst.
5569094 I’m sorry… what’s the problem with long titles? And, as for the empty lines, I assume you mean the spaces between them. I actually detest the empty spaces between paragraphs and such. But if I don’t put them in, people will complain. Why people can’t read lines that are kind-of-but-not-really-close together, I don’t know. But it is something that I must do.
I also like to work in subtlety. I think when fics get too fat, you’re allowed develop things, but the subtly is lost. Subtlety. The hints. The implications. Just who is Geraldine? Who is Sky Marshall Black Cloud? Who was Lawful? Why didn’t Gilford want to sit down with the ponies sooner? How many ramifications did Luna shifting the moon really cause not only for the griffons, but for the ponies as well? Everything is in the lore, all the hints. But I am not sure how many people noticed. That said, a while down, someone analyzed Lawful and my heart was filled with squees.
I also need to point out: all my fics take place in the same continuity. Black Cloud again appears in the beginning of this fic, with more implications about his real identity. Gilda has made references to Pony War Crimes in previous fics. I prefer short pieces, building the world like that. Gilford has been well received, and I cannot say how happy that makes me. He will appear in future fics. This fic was also actually conceived to have several chapters. Originally, Twilight would spend more time in the Griffon Kingdom, before moving with Celestia to the Changeling Hive. But I don’t have the time, or the will.
When you ask me to write a long fic though, like, chapters, what you really ask is for me to risk a great deal. Honestly, I have no clue how this fic got onto the Feature Box. I don’t. And had it not, it would have been a huge waste of time and effort and money. To write a full length novel is to devote even more time and more effort and more money. And if, upon posting the first chapter, no reads it, then what? People don’t tend to read subsequent chapters of stories unless they are in the Feature Box. More than anything, that is why I don’t want to write a full length story. I certainly have the lore and the ideas. Whole notebooks about Gilford, how he met Celestia and Luna, how he fought Lawful, who he became the Griffon King, and why he wouldn’t sit down to talk treaty. But… to risk a novel, with the possibility that after the first chapter no one will read and then it’ll never get Featured is just a huge one to take.
Also, I won’t have access to a computer for coming months, so… no time.
5569341 Yes, I understand your view point much better, and to some extent I can agree. I was focusing on Twilight's shame, yes. Perhaps I went too far with it. Hopefully in subsequent material, she can better develop her admiration. I really want to develop Gilford more. It would be nice to have him interact with Twilight.
I do also understand the additional strain when writing in first person. You need, more than any other way, to capture the character's soul. I hope I can better develop my first person props.
Hari Krishna, griffons!! GTFOVERIT!!
We made buddy-buddy with Japan and Germany within 20 years after WWII, for Sutekh's sake! (Alondro is channeling various filthy heathen deities this evening.)
I mean, damn it to Ragnarok, if humans were this pedantic and obsessed with revenge, you'd expect Protestants and Catholics to be knifing each other on the street hundreds of times a day!
Not to mention, making the Griffon King an immortal because... I don't even know. That would kinda have come up by now in all Twilight's studies. Do we really have to keep deifying the rulers of every single other nation in Equestria to make a story about a belligerent ruler holding a grudge over something a really really long time ago? Kim Jung Un is quite pathetically mortal (no matter what he'd like everyone to believe) and he's as big an ass as is humanly possible unless he also becomes morbidly obese in addition to his supergiant-sized delusional ego.
There is indeed something deeply wrong with that...
The griffon lands are actually across the ocean according to the official map released several years ago.
And in that war griffons decided eating ponies was A-ok all of a sudden.
Dude, Gilford, seriously? You think to garner sympathy at all with a history like that? Even the Germans and Japanese at their WORST didn't EAT prisoners!
You guys were worse than the NAZIs!! That's right, I said it! I made the penultimate comparison, because it's perfectly applicable in this case! War does not automatically cause one side to resort to the equivalent of cannibalism!
Celestia has wayyyyyy more to be holding a grudge over! Hell, I'd have wiped you out completely if your kind did something that F'd up!
I need to bitch-slap that damned beakie a few times! GOD-DAMNED BEAKIES!!!
This was beyond amazing. It is honestly the best story that doesn't involve comedy that I've read in a while. This deserves all of my upvotes and faves.
5569646 Ah, nice to have a positive comment since I attracted the attention of a troll. Thank you, deeply and sincerely, and I hope if I ever am able to do another part to this fic, you will enjoy it as well.
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What Exilo said.
Do you really think Celestia was fine with egg smashing? Really? That would be low even for the Celestia in this universe. Plus, I think trying to stop the war counts as doing something.
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Fair enough, I can see that. It makes sense, given Celestia's and Luna's natures. Perhaps a bit stronger showing as a parental figure would help. I had just figured that his own personal blood, his own linage, would have just been a step too far for him to forgive. Something more sacrosanct to him. But yes, that would be considering him too much a mortal, and not enough a god-king.
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Being silent on a atrocity, doing nothing to stop it, implies that you approve of it to some extent. Celestia may not have condoned it, but without proclaiming the act as a war crime or even a minor ruling, she practically permitted the Eggtrocities. It's true that she can't be everywhere at once, but she didn't even try. There's no law against it, no post-war Court Martials, nothing. To me, it feels rather callous that the benevolent Princess of Equestria didn't even persecute the worst offenders.
Until I know more about the conflict and just what they were fighting for (yes Resources, but what were the stakes?), I'll be able to judge the peace terms.
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Well there's Trottingham... Uh, yeah... Maybe Pipsqueak has some Griffin in him? That would explain a few things.
I would really like to see this story continued
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Considering Gilford's much vaunted 'forgiveness', I highly doubt his side was any better. Also, where did you get the sense that she didn't try? Gilford threw everything else at her, don't you think he would've accused her of this as well if he could?
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But Celestia didn't bring it up either. She only proclaimed that she didn't condone the war crimes, she didn't say anything like "Well, we tried the worst perpetrators" in her defense, nor did she ever bring up any form of laws she signed against the practice. To me, Celestia would have fired up those facts in defense, but ultimately she just sat in her seat. This implies that she indeed didn't try to restrain the Ponies, and now feels regret over her past mistakes.
Don't get me wrong, the Griffins certainly weren't Saints either but this whole conflict was really ambiguous.
That was fun. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
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Er..You may not want to read the Australian POW's account at Japanese camps then, because they did note actual cannibalism.
Also I love how blind sided you are, I mean come on, yeah they ate people (They are carnivores), and Ponies did the equivalent of boiling children alive, putting them back in their cribs and covering them up for their mothers to discover that they were dead after they go to check.
So yeah, I love how you make it like "OH YOU ARE DOING ONLY THE EVIL THINGS AND THUS YOU ARE EVIL OH THAT THEY AREN'T TRUE EQUESTRIANS", black and white view when it was a darkly grey war that both sides participated in.
Also it's not cannibalism, they aren't gryphons they were eating after all.