- Member Since 26th Jan, 2012
- offline last seen May 3rd
Symphony
A paragon of virtue, role model, professional writer and a liar.
Symphony
Joined 26th Jan, 2012 ·
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Excellently written. Just... brilliant.
Oh, and:
First.
Poor Mr. Changeling, at least now he can go to whatever afterlife activity creatures of that world go to.
A beautifully tragic piece. Well done.
You had an unnecessary plural in the beginning, but I loved the piece thank you sir.
a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/p480x480/548539_392211817479404_212291658804755_1265198_1123830645_n.jpg
You pleased the Queen.
screw it I got nothing blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahv
Damn... I've got something in my eye.
Goodbye, oddly poetic changeling. We hardly knew ye, but we shall not forget you.
"tries to hurt me" in the beginning should be "try to hurt me".
The structure is interesting.
Just to take up space, I'll make some grammar corrections.
"Their parents come for me and tries to hurt me."
Try*
"I’m lying in the middle of a grove, skidmarks are on the ground next to me. I must have landed there and skidded to where I am now."
My archaic self wants to say that "skid mark" is two words, but I'll let that slide. In any case, this latter sentence is kind of unnecessary. I suggest removing it.
For a more flexible critique, I'd suggest adding stronger visualization. My imagination was enough to picture the changeling in a quaint forest enclave, with the Sun beating down onto him and pollen lethargically floating through the organic air, but I'd recommend doing a little look-over and trying to beef up the descriptions of his physical surroundings. Don't worry about getting the emotional message across, that was done nicely, but try to give the reader a stronger sense of physical location, a stronger picture with more specifics in their head.
And lastly, this song. That is all.
494232
I'll fix it when I can.
494249
I'll maybe revise it and make it a little longer read when I have the time and possibility to do so.
Thanks to all who read this, it's what makes me keep going and writing stories as much as I do.
i1128.photobucket.com/albums/m493/Stephanie_Stull/Tumbler%20GIFs/citizenkane.gif
Beautiful, simply beautiful. I'm usually opposed to changeling fics, since they're mostly about Chrysalis, but I'm glad a gave this one a chance. I loved this one, presents some ideas that aren't all that common. To the fallen changeling, we salute you.
And just to remove all doubt from anybody's head because I never specifically say it in my last post, I did like this.
A thumb for you good sir.
Epic. Favorite. Like. Awesome.
"I never asked for this."
You poor thing...
I wouldn't hate you.
That story was something special, something deep and amazing. Thank you!
Still made me sad...
494098 darnit, that blah thing made me think nyan cat...
also, well written. ps, changelings make best post mortem friends.
arch.413chan.net/RaritySad-(n1310271671205).png
It's sad, but it's good; it's good, but it's so damn sad.
Not to bad.
Poor sod, at least he died a hero.
Wow. Short, but tragically bittersweet =/
Chroushing.
Ermagerd the feels! They hurt man!
