kainofthesand
Joined 3rd Jan, 2013 ·
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Babs:
he had no pubic hair on his face Unless the guy is a literal dickhead, generally pubic hair doesn't grow on the face.
On a different note, this isn't even BDSM. This story shows an abusive relationship. Two vastly different things, not that the OC is intelligent or willful enough to understand the difference.
ill... try this story....
The cover is very definitely NSFW. Notice the line that denotes a poosy.
This story is one of the worst I've ever read. Not that I can't understand why a story with a chapter titled "I have become a slave...YAY!" would get featured. Fuck this site so hard.
5061191
Sadomasochism is a part of BDSM. People are perfectly capable of consenting to what would otherwise be abuse.
5061765 that means nothing , can't exactly expect an ass shot to just be 2 curved lines going in either direction now can we?....
How did this even pass with this artwork cover? ...
I don't even...
5061796 Generally that is what the SM part of BDSM means. There is a vast difference between real S&M and... this. It reeks of 50 Shades of Grey water fantasies instead of what it could have been if done properly.
If it was well done, I'd be willing to pass on the poor characterization and writing. But as a whole, the BDSM is bad, the OC is bad, and overall it is bad. The relationship dynamic is off right at the bat. There is a difference between having a sub and having a mindless slave.
And this is turning into a rant, so I'm going to go shut up and play xbox with my wife. In regards to the story, she just rolled her eyes and called it abusive as well.
HOW DID THIS GET FEATURED? WHY?
5061833
Abuse and slavery is a fetish, though.
Though I'm not attempting to detract from your point. I'm sure the relationship depicted in the story is utter shit.
5061857 Because the featured box has more broken parts and loose screws than the computer I blew up last weekend for target practice.
5061867
I've seen stories that have gotten WAY better ratings, and they haven't even been on the popular list!
Was going to list them, but parasprite is going to throw a bitch fit about shameless self promotion.
5061873
>implying that your stories deserve to be on the popular list
I haven't looked at them, but.
Really?
5061864 Ah, okay. Disregard my rant then. Yeah, those are definite fetishes and if properly done can be fun as hell... *cough* my wife *cough*
Anyhow, sorry about the rant then.
5061870
5061881
Nono, wasn't going to list mine, but when I list any, she does that.
Come to think, someone DID tell me my story got featured. But briefly, probably
5061873
I was actually going to agree with you that this is horrible, and hey I'd totally have said your writing is marginally better.
But yeah if you don't want me to I won't.
5061765 Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree. Sorry for the mistake in letting this through, but you'll have to find something else.
5061928
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/101/781/Y0UJC.png
Dammit, why can't good stories get featured?
5061933
FTFY
5061946
I never said that. Like, at all.
5061949
Is joke in good humor, comrade.
We can both agree that this story is shit, so let's bond over that instead of hating.
5061930
>cover art being the mistake
>not the entire story being the mistake
5061956
I'll unblock you then.
Let's just be neutral, ok?
5061966
Didn't even know you'd blocked me. Sounds good.
Yay for friendship!
5061967
No friendship. Neurtal.
Unless you REALLY want to. I mean, I think you joined Knights, so maybe.
...Uhmm...
Dafuq I jus' red, brah?!
No, seriously, was this entire thing just a big self-insert in which the author is Celestia's literal slave and he willingly does every. Single. Thing. That she tells him to do without hesitation?
This story reminds me so heavily of Fifty Shades of Grey[amped up] ('scuse me, gotta barf) it's a little scary
YES! IT'S OFF! PRAISE CELESTIA IT IS OFF THE FEATURED LIST!
Eh...needs work.
well
the idea is nice, the way it went could use some work
hope it gets better later on
W-What the fuck is this?
That OC isn't an OC, it's a Nodding Robot. And Celestia's isn't 'dominating him with love', she's an abusive bitch.
Ugh, this whole thing made me feel sick. And how the hell did this get featured?
5063116 you understand there is a warning you read this knowing what you were going to get into so if you kindly would please stop
"Please please please, don't kill me! You don't want my organs! I have aids!"
~Twenty minutes later~
"OH YES! Thats a good slave! Harder! Your mistress needs it harder!"
Mm-hm. That makes sense.
Awesome I've been looking for a story like this for a long time and it was glorious. As someone who fantasizes about this very thing this is perfect.
Seems like a lot of people hate it though despite all the upvotes. Oh well I always said that most people on this site had no taste and/or took this stuff way too seriously.
Not to mention whine all the time.
5076242 There is a difference between hating it and thinking it is poorly written with no logical sense behind anything. I believe Weird Al said it best...
5061825 Look at the cover art for "Poking Pinkie Pie in the Pooper" and tell me mine is worse
I just wanna thank you all for your belittling and hateful comments. Hatters gonna hate. But I still got featured.
In the immortal words of my father-
Suck ass
5083578
Few days old, but... I do know the cover art you are referring to (sadly) and while that one is both distasteful and disgusting, the piece you'd picked for the artwork here was technically SNFW due to a line that denoted her sex. That other cover art doesn't have that. It's simply SFW and disgusting.
5083603 Disgusting to you, art to me
i read that whole manga , it was a stupid as any other japaneses garbage , only this one was full of teasing and nothing else.....
5119239 I probably will continue it, but I'm working on things. I'm not done with Jake by a long shot.
So........... techincally Jake will die a virgin seeing as the only pussy he'll ever get is from that fleshlight....... man that's kinda is shitty deal.............. but different strokes for different folks I guess!
by god this is awesome
hm i like this hoping for a update
I do weird stuff, sometimes. This weird thing I do is an honest attempt to correct a story without hating/bashing it (as much as I can avoid doing so, anyways). *clears throat*
I like this idea, and I do admit, the milk acting as an aphrodisiac was hot. Really hot. But it wasn't enough to save the story.
The denial of orgasm is what really ruined this for me; and if Celestia was keeping me as a slave, I'd think she'd treat me even nicer than that. A LOT nicer.
I'd rather Jake submit to Celestia, call her mistress, kiss her hooves, all on his own without her prompt. Celestia would never ask that of me. She would give me a choice to be her sex servant. And if I hated my life, I would remain there as her sex toy forever; if not, I go back home. The plot advances when I choose the former.
I don't think Celestia would ever make fun of my dick. Ever. In fact, she would be happy to have a dick to suck at all, given that there would be either a scandal or an ulterior political game if she did it with any stallion. Rather than finding fault with his dick, the only fault with Jake (who seems to love being submissive) that Celestia should find is that he's unable to dominate her, even if she wanted him to (I'd imagine that a ruler would quickly develop a submission fetish to escape the life of ruling others).
This Jake has no character, no depth, no skills, and no hope. It's all kinda sad that he can't make any of his own decisions. Giving him a choice would deepen his character and make him less of a robot.
Awkward responses, like "I…I swear to be loyal to you…my mistress." "No, I don't think you're old at all! In fact I, uh, think you're…really beautiful." "I-I'm sorry, mistress," "I like it…a lot…mistress,""Yes, mistress. Thank you, mistress." ... these all make me gag. They're artless. Turn them into,
"I am yours, Mistress. Forever." "I care not of your age. You're beautiful, Mistress." "Forgive me, Mistress..." "It's wonderful, Mistress." "That was amazing, Mistress." Short, sweet, poetic, and to the point.
I mean, it's a cool idea and all, but you seem to mistake 'domination' for 'abuse,' and I see more of the latter. In fact, I'd rather see more submission than domination; a Celestia who's excited to walk into that room when she feels pent up because she knows her eager alien sex-servant friend is going to give her such a good time that she won't be able to feel her legs in the morning.
TL;DR It really needs work.
5700308
I don't think you understand the concept of a slave.
5123764 Update???
it good to see you have comeback