• Member Since 3rd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 18th, 2021

kainofthesand


Comments ( 151 )

epic start to what looks to be a great story

looks like a good story i'll be following it for sure

This is off to a good start. :eeyup:

My only gripe is all the typos, like writing "hare" instead of "hair"
Unless, of course, he wears a dead hare on his head. :derpytongue2:

Anyways, have a like and a fave. :moustache:

Well there was a good bit of typoes, but this is an interesting story. I'll follow.
Also watch out for lowercase I's and run on sentences. It would be more visually appealing to readers.:derpytongue2:

:pinkiehappy: AMAZING !!! :pinkiehappy:
:twilightsmile: can not wait for the next chapter :twilightsmile:

Looks good so far. Remember, when somepony stops speaking, and another pony starts, you need a new paragraph.

YES! you in my favs, keep up the good work!

Love this chapter it was awesome :D

:twilightsmile: my jaw hurt after reading this chapter because i could not stop saying awww a truly lovely story :twilightsmile:

you have a wonderful story going here but it almost seems as if someone else wrote the second chapter. either that or it just has yet to be edited. keep up the great work

well actually I changed my style a bit on the second to try and make it more appealing :twilightblush:

Yep I like this story so far, only one problem. That would be your spelling, but don't worry I only caught maybe 8 or 9 misspelled words in this chapter so that's not bad. If you want help let me know. But anyways keep it up.

You really should read yourself, so many language errors...but good story.

Hey your doing better there was less mistakes with this chapter than the first one. Great job so far by the way.

In the first paragraph, I counted twelve grammar errors, not counting spelling errors. This REALLY needs some serious editing. It is almost painful to read. I had to quit after four paragraphs. If you can fix these glaring errors, you might have a good story.

ya tell me about it Ive been meaning to fix this first chapter but what with work and all:twilightsheepish:

Well now he can finally evolve his pikachu:rainbowlaugh:

:rainbowkiss: you should get him to call her dashie :rainbowkiss:

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WARNING: FIC IS APPROACHING LETHAL LEVELS OF D'AWW. PROCEED READING WITH EXTREME CAUTION. WE DO NOT PROVIDE FREE HEALTH CARE. THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE DAY.

I was considering having him call her daishie but for one I thought that the pet name had been a bit too played out and for two I felt that "Rainbow" sounded more intimate since I meant for it to be a romance:heart:

love this story keep up the awesome work:scootangel:

so far this is fantastic, cant wait for more

2183241

one of the best replies i have seen.

this story is getting really good, i can't wait for you to update again. i'll be looking towards it with great anticipation/

I love it!!:heart:

P.S. A Princess Twilight follower?:pinkiegasp: Bitch please! Everypony knows that Princess Luna is the rightful leader of Equestria!
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Comment posted by kainofthesand deleted Jul 23rd, 2013

i really enjoyed this chapter :pinkiehappy: i especially liked the my little dashi reference

Great chapter yet again. i really cant wait to see how this relationship unfurls :ajsmug:

2214298 thank you I was hoping someone would pick it up:raritywink:

Great chapter comrade hoorah! Now on to the next one.

both soon looking dazed and confused. seemed like a zepplin quote to me but ah well.

Great sory and all but you REALLY need to get a proof reader or something. Either way can't wait for more.

Dude good story but you need a proof reader. Its here not hear, and a whole bunch of other mistakes that kind of ruins the flow of the story. I'm not good with spelling either so don't let this get you down just see if you can re read it and find the problems you made.

I'm quite literally a foot taller then you.2182391

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