kainofthesand
Joined 3rd Jan, 2013 ·
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4295233 Alrighty then
4295270
This would have been really good if not for your elementary typos
4295278 I'm doin the best I can. But dam, I re-read and re-read, but I just don't see them.
4295376
Get an editor. There's tons of people who will do it for you.
4295376
It was pretty good otherwise, though. I hope I didn't come off like I was saying it sucked.
I will be waiting for the next up date and I hate waiting soooo, MORE
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/557/785/2fb.jpg
My face during this!
Still a good story though!
Actually, reading through I'm wondering if this based off something off 4chan
what is the fetish in question here?
You made bondage tender and loving while still being violent and sexy.
...'cuse me while I favorite the hell outta this fic.
EDIT:
I've edited this comment so much... fuck it, we'll do it live!
4296416 ffs, go die in a fire. People like you are annoying as shit.
Damn... Okay, this was awesome! I liked the story, and while I'm not a huge fan of second person stories i will say that this was extremely well done. That said, I'm going to have to borrow some of the BSM stuff from this. I was toying around with the idea of having Lyra into bondage with a story I'm working on for the Room for Rent universe. Mainly I was going to do Bridle, Saddle, and that kind of thing, but bring some other kink into it would be fun.
So, thank you for the story and the inspiration. Please, take a like, a favorite, and a follow.
- LF
As a sub, I found this to be absolutely amazing!
10/10 would be in Lyra's place
Well, I gave this an honest try.
The characterization of Lyra and the main character in the opening as well as the brief recounting of their relationship was very nice.
I kind of actually started to get into the bdsm even though it isn't my usual fare.
The spanking and counting was actually kind of nice too.
And then urine happened...
And instantly, like flicking a light switch, I said nope and scrolled down to comment.
Not going to downvote or anything silly like that. The story just ended up not being my cup of tea. But I liked everything up to the aforementioned point, so good job with that at least.
For future reference though, you may want to specify which fetishes will be in play in the description instead of just saying "particular fetishes." If you had a warning in the description for urination, I wouldn't have really bothered with the story. Just a big turn off for me is all. Not judging anypony here.
Anyways, I can tell you have a knack for writing, so I'll give you a follow. I look forward to seeing more from you.
The piss and the thing about tearing nipples was hard to stomach, but I enjoyed the rest. I'll be sure to keep watching if it doesn't get any worse.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha i dont know what the fuck i just read but i kinda liked it.
Definitely an enjoyable read, this. Despite it basically being all-out clop, it didn't have that joy-killing feel of being clop for clop's sake.
The love and setup, and more subtle interactions just made this chapter. Was both sweet and... I'll just use the word exciting for lack of a better one.
Awesome work, anyways.
Welp, I'm going to hell... Awesome story though
Now this I like! I usually don't comment on stories that are just clopfics unless I feel they were really well done,and you delivered, author.
If you're gonna have really serious fetishes like watersports & mutilation, you really need to say something rather than just leaving it at "particular fetishes". I was expecting some light bdsm, maybe some pet-play or something else light & easy and I really didn't appreciate getting blindsided by the more serious, fringe fetish, stuff. Be kind to your readers & warn them, it's just common courtesy.
Oh look; a second-person porn story.
Well that's certainly a rarely-used story format; congratulations on breaking new ground.*
*This comment has been brought to you by Massively Fucking Sarcastic Industries™.
4297551
"Oh, I'm gonna go to the special hell." - Captain Mal.
Yeah, that's kind of what I thought when I read through it.
generally dont like bondage, but ill give this a fav. It makes me wonder if the usual bondage fans won't like it. Very good job sir
I loved the story!!!
but you had alot of misspelled words and alot of punctuation errors. Get an editor
Check your grammar, otherwise it was pretty good.
I really thought we were done with this second person,
excuse to not give a shitalternate universe, human horseshit.Guess not.
Time to go ask myself while I'm still on this site.
Stop right there, criminal scum. I don't know about you, but I'd rather not have sex with a pony. Also, I'm pretty sure beastiality is illegal in several countries.
This site is full of nasty fuckers.
4298530 I suggest everyone ignore this moron. All he does is go around leaving stupid comments and downvotes on stories. I doubt he even reads them.
Could you do the readers a favor and list the fetishes you are expressing in this fic on the description of this story? That way we can make an informed decision of whether we want to read this. Thank you.
The portal made a magical sound
made a magical sound
magical sound
*slams head into desk*
Maybe something a bit more descriptive.
4298530
And at some point, so was your mother.
Go troll elsewhere.
I'm normally not into that kinda stuff but damn you made it sound... not weird?
Futa femdom?!
'Reads story'... Piss and mutilation?!
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/652/772/b5e.jpg
Put a fuckin' ACTUAL warning for weird shit like this.
4299205 lol hai
kudos chum.
i was both disgusted and aroused.
i await the next chapter.
4298530 I know you! your that person the reads clopfics and then criticizes people who also read them. If you dont like it, turn your mature settings off and just don't read them. simples
4298703 Made a sound of magical origin?
Really great clop story
well done.
4298530
Per chance allow me to say the following. Dissecting this piece apart we can gleam that Lyra is actually a Sapient being. This being while looking like a quadruped is one of the dominate species of her world. In every sense of the word she is on the same evolutionary rung as humans. Now, going a step further would indicate that this isn't about bestiality, but rather this is about having a relationship (sexual or otherwise) with an alien species.
If you still disagree with that then I'm going to assume that you would also disagree with Captain James T. Kirk having multiple relationships with the green slave girls. The truth is, we're not talking about this dude, and please excuse the coarseness of this phrase, fucking a pony, but rather about him fucking his girlfriend who happens to be an alien species.
So, hating on their relationship would be similar to being a specist - a person who is prejudiced to a certain alien species. If that is the case why the hate for an alien species? Perhaps there is a deeper reason for it.
At any reason, all I can say is that if the consenting relationship between two adult alien species bother you then perhaps you should stay away from this type of story.
- LF
Well this is an "interesting" story, but it wasn't that bad other than the exceptional spelling error from time to time.
4298530
Actually, given that these ponies are sapient, this would count as xenophilia instead of bestiality.
Also, not only this site, dearie.
THE WHOLE INTERNET IS FULL OF US!
SORRY I CAN ONLY LIKE AND FAVOR ONCE!!!
4298530 WE ARE EVERYWHERE, RESISTANCE IS FUTILE, PREPARE TO BE ASSIMILATED
Not my thing but I still enjoyed the story.......
so far i am
so hard 
i cant stop myself from reading this
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The only dick lyra ever needed.
really great clop fic
jesus christ what the hell no