Three days since something terrible happened.
Three days since a Pony was declared dead.
Three days since everything changed.
What happened?
A very short story written to get the idea out of my head.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 7th Feb, 2012
- offline last seen Feb 25th, 2018
TheAussieBlue
I am that I am, and nothing more. I will exist as I am, or not at all. And I really, REALLY hate insects and arachnids.
TheAussieBlue
Joined 7th Feb, 2012 ·
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Is this comedy, sad, dark, or all three?
First!
Interesting read, from an unusual perspective.
nice job
still trying to figure out what the Thief of Brass is.
Very well done, but i have to ask, is this a terminator cross-over?
"The second day was worse. The creature was insane. It was mad. It ran for no reason. It muttered to itself, it would try to do everything, and I couldn’t understand why? It looked at a device, sitting not three inches form it, and laughed as noise blared from it. Tales of death and pain and suffering. It would often pause and look at me, to see if I was healthy. It asked if I liked the food, and changed the water. It cleaned any mess I made, calmly and without fuss, though it made me ill just to look at it. It did everything it could to make me happy."
as soon as i read this, i thought, that sounds like a equine describing a man, taking care of her, and playing a video game on a computer.
So cofusing, so wierd,so......
/9
Wow... This is an interesting story! Good job. Aside from a few spelling errors, I like this story.
Ending was a really neat twist... Too bad Jacob doesn't know the truth.
- EmuZSNES
What a FANTASTIC example of Humans Are Cthulhu done right.
I have to admit that I, too, am still trying to figure out what the Thief of Brass is. I suspect that it is something really obvious, or really clever. Or both.
Favorited for re-reading in the future.
.......
Have no idea whether to call it out for slyly being sanctimonious or not.
To have Twilight Sparkle so poetically put it yet in context be totally oblivious and without discernment seems to be against her nervous yet open-mindedness of her character.
Yet in perspective of having cartoon vs. reality rather than other realities it would be even more glaring since the cartoon is filtered rather than the full picture.
SO confusing...
I can't say I don't like it though...It was a good read.
457058
I have no idea what you are saying, mate.
Lost a few dozen kilos? Crap, how many kilos makes a pound again? Damn metric system. We use the imperial system where I live. Anyways, this was a good read. I like how Twilight described the human world.
456875
No.
457776
Ah, my mistake then.
Really interesting story. I actually like where you went with that, though Twilight's descriptions of her experiences seemed unusually flowery for her. A couple of things bugged me: Fluttershy lost 'a few dozen kilos'? Really? I mean, that more than eighty pounds, unless I have my math wrong. Losing more than eighty pounds in three days seems like it would be sort of fatal, especially given that a pony is small enough for an average human to pick up. You might want to say 'a kilo' or 'two kilos' instead. Losing that much in three days is still pretty dramatic and worrisome. Also, why is Twilight being declared dead only a few days after disappearing? Granted, the teleportation apparently went really wrong, but you could lie unconscious in a ditch for three days and not die. They should still be searching the Everfree Forest at least.
458329
Do not question the magic.
458378LETS QUESTION IT JUST TO SCREW WITH HIM GUY/GALS
OH GOD THIS WRITING HURTS MY EYES
Definitely an interpretation worth thinking about. I ate leftover taco bell right before reading this. Imagine if Jacob offered Twilight a gordita. Mmmmm so appetizing to look at.
Equestria seems to be a world of incredible simplicity. To human eyes, it looks clean, pure and inviting. It follows then that the Equine senses would be overloaded when entering our world, noticing vastly more details even in the surrounding air.
So how does this story translate in the perspective of Jacob? Twilight teleports into his house and leaves a mess on the carpet. Better find that book on My Little Potty-Training.
'try to imagine the stench of rotting meat. Imagine the languid, irregular pulsing of a rotting body filled with maggots. Imagine the scent of stale body odour mixed with mildew, the sound of nails screeching across a chalkboard, the taste of rotten milk, and the flavor of spoiled fruit.
Now imagine that your eyes can experience those things, all at once, in excruciating detail.
That's what I saw. A stomach-churning, nightmare-inducing mass, blazing like a lighthouse beacon above me. I could vaguely make out a physical form behind it, but it was like trying to peer through raw sewage. I couldn't get any details through the haze of absolute wrongness that surrounded it as it'
This is copied EXACTLY word for word from Turn Coat - The Dresden Files, when he's describing the Skinwalker.
Other than that, good story.
587013
Whut? Holy fucking shit, you kidding me?
Right, changing the wording.
Sorry about that, happens sometimes. I read a lot, and sometimes I get an idea that turns out to be a memory of something that I read before. Bloody annoying, because I get a lot of complaints about how I'm "Unoriginal" and that I'm "copying others work."
588092
Seriously? You memorised it word for word? Jeez, colour me impressed.
Yeah, had to re-read that part several times. Thought i'd gone back to reading it again.
456853
Dark Heresy: Disciples of the Dark Gods Page 109
So what song was Twilight replaying for Celestia?
Also, as someone else said, this is a great example of how to write a Humans Are Cthulu story.
746808
I dunno. Something orchestral... Archangel.
1101851
The point wasn't to show us as evil. If that's what you got, you missed the point.
The point was to portray the brony as a bizarre otherworldly thing that was simply wrong to her senses; sort of a Cthulhu like entity.
1104128
1136186
*Headdesk*
It's... it's fine.
Just look at this.
Well after you read my story and wrote that comment, which I found quite funny; makes me look at dislikes in a whole new fashion, I had to read some of your stuff.
So I did and although I don't think are worlds are that extremely different, I do get the point to this.
Now if Twilight were to make this based off of the average person, I couldn't fathom what she'd think if she was stuck with Leeroy Jenkins.
But in all seriousness I liked it, even if it was odd.
Huh, Humans are Cthulhu in a fimfic, awesome. It would be funny if, instead of Brony's house, she actually ended up in the literal Cthulhu's house...underwater. That would be interesting.
I liked this a lot more than I expected. It was a bit overdramatic at times, and Twi's descriptions sometimes veered out of character, but yeah, I loved the premise. For one, I wonder if the 'crawling, unclean' feeling were germs.
One thing: I couldn't fathom what the Thief of Brass was meant to be. Did you have something specific in mind?
3227992
Dark Heresy: Disciples of the Dark Gods Page 109
Still as good as the first time I read it.
3261841
So it's complete rubbish!?
3265241 Absolute rubbish. That why I favorited and gave it a thumb up after all.
I was our world
Called it!
Well that was pretty unusual, and I liked it. What was the golden thing with the gore a reference to?
3898852
Dark Heresy: Disciples of the Dark Gods Page 109
I liked this story. Very different!
Guess the human world not agreeing with pony senses on what is good and what is overwhelming, plus the cultural clash and the difficulties in communications, can definitely turn us into eldritch beings. In fact, I love the idea that we might perceive some otherworldly things and entities as Lovecraftian just because their appearances confuse our perceptions and give off the "overpowering" feeling, but they're benevolent things very much akin to us and we can figure that out in a calm environment with some brainstorming.
Liked, faved and rec'd!
Now, I wonder if there are any fics out there where ponies are Cthulhu...
Now, take Jacob to equestria, a few days later. would he still be perceived as the monstrous creature that twilight encountered? I hope not.
Well done, very well done.
588092 Why, here's another:
-- Terry Pratchett, Hogfather
I presume the detail of our world was too much for Twilight to handle?
This story is brilliant.
That is all.