(This fic is now officially cancelled. Maybe I'll come back to it in the very distant future if I ever get back into Starcraft, but for now, it's up for adoption.)
Remember the Protoss ship from Starcraft Heart of the Swarm? The one from the "Enemy Within" mission? The one that started with sneaking? Niadra (the broodmother that eventually infested the place) lost contact with the Queen of Blades more than fifty years ago. Since then, the Zerg aboard that ship have flourished... until one day when they came across an unknown planet and were pulled in. The atmosphere did little to the ship, but the crash did.
The horrific Zerg within, Niadra included, perished... all save for one little Drone. Free of any control, this Drone has only three directives: multiply, infest, thrive.
(Please, for the love of all that is tobzahs, leave a comment. I enjoy hearing feedback, ideas, all that shtuff. It motivates me, really.)
Featured 9/4/14, apparently.
continue this story its good
Yay and insect in Equestria AND ITS A ZERG DRONE..... But sad thing is... I don't know how big it is?
Can some one tell me?
4786458 I wish I knew. I tore the internet apart today, looking for an answer to that, but I never could find out. I'm thinking that they're about the size of a small bear. Big enough for a pony to stand on its back, perhaps. I dunno.
Multiply, infest, thrive and run!
A gold star and thumbs up for you.
Hm, this.... is not going to be without many, many deaths is it?
You must construct additional chapters.
4786523 Underway even as we speak.
I can't stop!
4786531 The queen is happy.... She also requests that many ponies become part of the swarm.
4786536 THE TRUE QUEEN HAS ABANDONED US IMPOSTOR.
4786539 I speak for The Queen Of Blades Kerrigan. I know mother would never abandon us.
4786545 Did the Zerg ever refer to Kerrigan by name in Wings of Liberty or Heart of the Swarm?
4786550 I can't remember if they did but if so they would refer to her as mother or my queen.
The idea is intresting i hope you continue it
4787524 Don't you worry. As of right now, Chapter 2 is 1,353 words long and counting. More is coming.
Interesting, another Zerg fanfic, another one was Strokes of Fate so I will read it
4787618
4787618 Thanks for the reply i will be waiting for the chapters, and hope to read
Very good story been waiting a long time for a good starcraft story on this site very good start as well
4790347 Erm... I hate to be rude, but... I can't understand what you mean. There's no punctuation there. Could someone translate, please?
Celestia will need to burn half of the planet by the time this is done.
It's a pretty decent story, but you have some serious 'Lavender Unicorn Syndrome' there. All it really does is add pointless filler. It's better to use the character's name or a pronoun rather than constantly referring them as some kind of description.
4786469 4786458 there size is not stated directly but it is defiantly not the size of a bear. one can infer there size from the cinematics and game mechanics. the zergling is consistently shown to be about the size of a large dog(wolf hounds) or Terran ponies while the Hydralisk is about the size of a horse or a bear. these sizes are drawn from the cinematics of both Starcraft 1 and 2. now in both games the drones are shown to be slightly bigger the zerglings in the field but smaller then the hydralisks.
4790402 I was afraid of that... I feel inclined to refer to characters differently each time, never the same twice in a row... for me, it helps me to prevent pronoun confusion. If one can't tell who I'm talking about when they're reading something of mine, I feel like I've inconvienenced them unnecessarily.
So awesome, i have to agree that i am starting to love this and nearly all the fic about this game, so many thanks for sharing
4790735 One thing you can do to distinguish between characters is to make sure that different characters don't have dialog in the same paragraph. I noticed one infraction on this act with Applejack and Rarity.
Another more difficult thing you can do is write the dialog in ways that no description is needed to guess the character. I thought at one point in the chapter that the speaker was Rainbow until Rarity's name was used. It's a bit bad if I confuse one for the other considering how different their personalities are.
4792358 I'll try to remember that, thank you.
Hey dont worry so much, where is desire you will found strength, seriusly is going well, by the way have you consider doing one with the protos after this one
They say that every story should have a "hook" in the first paragraph. Something to keep the reader reading. So I'm sorry to say, as someone who haven't played Heart of the Swarm, I think that both your beginning and synopsis needs work. You don't want to start out with a flashback filled with strange names and places... Or at least not if you want more than Starcraft fans reading it.
Where's the giant Raid can when you need it?
4793338 can you please elaborate?
4792898 One thing at a time. Also, no. I MIIIIIGHT do a "what if" chapter, but it's unlikely.
4794222 Thanks for the reply hope you carry on, and thanks for sharing and the good storie
4794220
Well, you want your reader to read continuously and not pause at all if you can help it. When I read through the first paragraphs, I paused to wonder over several questions. For example:
Who is Niadra? How is that ball moving inside the glass? Enter the Daelaam Ark... what? What is essence and why does she need it to improve the swarm? The Golden Armada... who are they? The humanized Queen of Blades... Isn't she always humanized? And if not, why is it important?
You overwhelm the reader with to many new unfamiliar concepts, too fast.
4794222
Now this is a Starcraft/MLP fanfic I can get behind!
I'd also say that the mature tag isn't needed yet, but if you decide to create a Zerg Evolution/Mutation Master, like Abathur, and your have him autopsy/vivisect ponies (and any other sapient speices), I'd suggest either leaving those scenes fairly short, or changing the tag to mature at that point.
4794800 Ahhhhhh... okay. Noted.
The only problem is that the Protoss cannot be infested by the Zerg. The Zerg and Protoss come from the same species known as the Zel Naga and can't feed off the others' psychic essence.
4795965 I know they can't be infested. But at the beginning of the "Enemy Within," Kerrigan shoved a parasitic larva into a captured Protoss colonist before letting the escaping Protoss warp her in. Then the larva ate her. She was not infested.
Or are you talking about something different?
I miss Clarence already, that was the drone's name you see. She was a good drone, forced to mutate before her time. A sad day it is when we have to mourn the passing of another Gashyrr Wasp of Eldersthine.
4796844 It was a good drone. Also, have some facial hair.
what I meant was there is no Protoss zerg hybrids
so you are correct
Hmm, seems interesting, I'll keep reading. I also don't mean to be nitpicky but;
"In its wake, it left a trail of telltale tracks with its many legs, the imprints narrow, but deep. Like a giant centipede."
I know it seems like they should have legs, but they actually don't, or if they do they don't use them. They just float. Yeah, I know its weird.
4797607 ... um... to be quite honest, fuck that, I need tracks.
Now, here's the thing about the Zerg: they're fucking awesome. That single drone is probably gonna lead to the extinction of ponies. They're like the Vengevine: leave so much as a single drone, and they will come back, stronger and hungrier than ever.
4797720 I always thought them more of like Cell from DBZ. All it takes is one little thing to reform him...
4794800
I imagine that you haven't seen or possibly heard about Starcraft 2: Heart of the Swarm, or Starcraft in general? Well, you can go learn about everything when you watch it from the beginning, in Starcraft 1. All of the DLCs build up to the climatic ending, and starts again in Starcraft 2. Heart of the Swarm is the newest DLC for Starcraft 2, and soon there will be a new DLC coming out for the Protoss. If you want to spend money on trying to buy Starcraft 1 with all of its DLCs, then you can do that, then play all the way through it, so on and so forth, but I would find that it's easier to go to YouTube. Or if you just want to get most of the information immediately, go to Youtube, look up Heart of the Swarm, and watch the missions all the way through. Don't have to complete the entire thing (unless you want to). Just stop at the mission that mentions Niadra.
Neato, you get a pat on th- oh wait, you already did that...
Really makes me wanna go back to playing starcraft though...
4797826 I don't think he ever said anything about not playing the other games.
4795965 Tell that to duran. he managed it pretty well with his experiments.