Hoofloose
"I'm just worried about her is all," said Twilight as she passed Rarity another spool of salmon pink thread. She gave a little sigh. "She's been acting weirder than normal when she comes to the library, and it's not like I haven't noticed that she stopped coming out with us on the weekends. She just shuts herself away in her home. I mean, I'm not wrong in thinking that's weird right?"
Rarity shrugged, her eyes focused on the garment in front of her. She bit her lip, tugging the needle through a bit of fabric. With a little grunt, she said, “Yes, well, it's not as though Rainbow Dash hasn't had her share of 'weird' moments." She paused to make air quotes with her hooves then went back to sewing. “Honestly, Twilight, I think you're fretting over nothing."
"Is it nothing that Rainbow Dash won't even talk to me anymore without changing the subject whenever I ask what she's been up to?" asked Twilight, raising her eyebrow. Rarity made a little motion with her hoof and Twilight passed her a pair of scissors.
“I admit, that does seem a bit... odd, but it's no cause for you to go running around like the sky is falling." Rarity snipped the thread with the scissors.
Twilight frowned. “You're literally the first pony I've talked to about this. I'd hardly call it an overreaction."
"Well, all the same, I think you'd best not worry about it too much. Stress causes wrinkles, you know?" Rarity took a step back from the mannequin and admired her handiwork. She grinned, letting out a little sigh of relief. "There, I think it looks quite good, don't you?"
Twilight studied the mannequin for a moment, trying to decipher what exactly she was looking at. It looked like a dress... sort of. The mannequin's head was sticking out of, what Twilight was pretty sure was, a fish's head. It popped out of the mouth like a worm trying to break free, while the rest of the fish encased the mannequin's body, except for the legs which protruded out like some sort of grotesque evolutionary mishap. “It's... well, it's something," said Twilight truthfully. “Umm, what did you say this was for again?"
Rarity waved her hoof and clicked her tongue. “Ah, now that would ruin the surprise, wouldn't it?"
"Yeah," said Twilight, grimacing, "wouldn't want that to happen."
"Oh, don't be so uncultured, Twilight." Rarity waved her hoof dismissively. “This... is art!"
"It's something, all right," Twilight muttered under her breath.
Having finished helping Rarity with the fish dress thing, Twilight left Carousel Boutique to seek out Rainbow Dash. She didn't have to go far, luckily, because just as she rounded the corner she saw the mare in question gliding down towards Golden Oaks Library. Quickening her pace to a light trot, Twilight made her way back home. When she came to the door, she saw Rainbow being led inside by Spike, so she shouted, "Hey, Rainbow, what's up?"
Rainbow Dash turned around, smiling. She waved her hoof. "Yo, wassup, Twi? I was just coming to get some books."
"Oh, well I'm sure I can help you find what you're looking for. Just let me—"
Rainbow Dash shook her head. "Nah, I'm good. I know what I'm looking for. Just need a sec."
Twilight was taken aback. "Um, okay then. I guess I'll just go... do... something else."
"Sure, sounds good to me," said Rainbow, smiling. "I'll be outta your hair in no time." With that, she spun around and cantered into the library. Just as she said, she seemed to know exactly where she was going, and Twilight was worried she'd notice if she followed her.
Instead, Twilight surreptitiously started to work on reshelving a particular section of one shelf while stealing quick glances over to where Rainbow was. Spike, meanwhile, had left the room to go back upstairs, leaving her alone with Rainbow. From the angle she was at, Twilight couldn't tell what section Rainbow was in, but she wasn't going to be deterred that easily. "So, I guess you've been pretty busy lately, huh?"
"Nah, not really. What makes you say that?"
"Well, it's just that you've avoided hanging out with me and the rest of the girls for awhile now."
"Hey, you don't have any of the new Daring Do books, do you?"
Twilight sighed. "Now you're avoiding my question too."
Chuckling, Rainbow said, "Sorry, I was just thinking about adventures and junk, then Daring Do came to mind."
"So you're not avoiding the question then?"
"What question?"
Twilight sighed.
"Hey," said Rainbow suddenly, "what would you think if somepony you knew said they were into some really weird stuff. Like... really weird."
Twilight cocked her to the side. She inched around the bookshelf she was standing in front of to try and get a better look at Rainbow. "I would accept them for who they are, no matter what weird stuff they were into."
"Even hornplay?"
"What?" Twilight let the word slip out of her mouth before she had a chance to think it through.
"What?"
There was a loud crashing sound as a pile of books tipped over and spilled over the foyer. Faster than lighting, Rainbow Dash was at the front door saying, "Found what I was looking for. See ya later!"
"Wait, you still have to... aaaaand she's gone." Twilight shoulders slumped as she let out an exasperated sigh. "Darn, and I was so close to cracking her too." Twilight stepped out from her little cubby and saw the book monsoon that was her foyer. "Spiiiiiike! Get down here and clean these books up for me. I'm going on a reconnaissance mission."
Spike poked his head out from the bedroom door. "Reconna-what?"
"I'm gonna go spy on Rainbow."
He nodded. "Oh... cool. Don't stay out too late."
"I won't," Twilight whispered under her breath, her eyes narrowing.
"What?"
Twilight rolled her eyes.
It had been some time since Twilight’s wings had appeared, at least a few days, and so she was feeling pretty confident in her abilities as she soared over Ponyville and towards Cloudsdale. She flapped her wings once, pushing herself a bit higher and a bit faster. A grin came over her face. She was feeling rather proud of herself as she—
"Whoa! Sorry!" she called over her shoulder, the unwitting mare she'd just knocked over lay on her back shaking her hoof at Twilight. It was at this point Twilight realized that gliding five feet above the ground wasn't the best idea. For a moment, she considered going higher, but that seemed like a lot of effort. Plus, she reasoned, her civilian casualty quota was three per day, and that poor mare was only the second pony she'd hit, so she was still under budget, so to speak.
Fortunately for her, and the rest of Ponyville, Twilight didn't even have to make it all the way to Cloudsdale before she found Rainbow Dash. In fact, she happened to catch her entering a building just a block or two ahead of her. Twilight swooped low to the ground, which pretty much meant just sticking her hooves out, and landed gracefully. Well, graceful by her standards anyway. She'd only tumbled twice, and this time she didn't even land on her face. Back on the ground, Twilight quietly made her way to the entrance of the building. When she got there, she tried to open the door by jiggling the handle, but it remained stubbornly shut.
"Weeeeeeeeeell great," she muttered. "Looks like I'm gonna have to go around back."
Sidling her way around the building, Twilight came up to a long window. She kept her body pressed against the wall as she carefully craned her neck to look inside. What she saw would haunt her for the next millennia.
Inside, with her hooves against some railing that lined the wall, Rainbow Dash was lost in some kind of... trance or something. She was twirling around, spinning on one hoof, and then she'd stop and jump a little into the air, twiddling her hooves. As Rainbow danced, completely oblivious to Twilight, the voyeuristic mare couldn't help but shake her head in disbelief. Rainbow leapt into the air, fluttered her wings a bit, then landed on one hoof before dipping her head and throwing her front hooves backwards... which caused her to lose her balance and tumble to the ground. Twilight’s hoof shot to her mouth just in time to stifle a laugh, but not in time to stop Rainbow from noticing her.
"Shoot!" Twilight breathed, ducking her head below the windowsill, but it was too late. During her fall, Rainbow Dash had happened to glance outside and caught a glimpse of Twilight just as she tried to hide. Twilight hoped beyond hope that Rainbow would just ignore her. That, of course, didn't happen.
Twilight hear the window above her head sliding open. She squeezed her eyes shut, flinching when she heard Rainbow say, "Uhh, hey, Twi. Whatcha doin'?"
Her eyes still closed, Twilight bit her lip and refused to look up.
"Y’know I can see you, right? You're right there."
Twilight sighed, opening her eyes. She tilted her head and looked up, giving Rainbow the least awkward smile she could muster. "Oh, hey there, Rainbow. I, uh, didn't see you there."
Rainbow cocked her head to the side. "Who are you trying to fool?"
"Fool?" said Twilight unconvincingly. She gave a little strained laugh. "I'm not trying to fool anyone. Don't be silly." She waved her hoof dismissively.
Rainbow Dash remained unconvinced. She frowned. "Fine, be weird. But I know you saw me, and you know you saw me. Look," she said, suddenly very serious, "I've... I've been meaning to tell you about something. It's, well, kind of a secret."
Twilight gulped as her heart started to race.
Rainbow leaned out of the window, scratching the back of her head. "See, I've always sorta kinda known you wouldn't understand, and neither anyone else, but I'm tired of hiding it. Twilight," she said firmly, staring directly into Twilight’s eyes, "I just want to dance."
"What?"
The word hit Twilight harder than it had any right to. She practically doubled over from the verbal gut punch, or maybe it was part of a subconscious effort to keep herself from bursting out into laughter, but either way she found it difficult to respond with anything other than that single word. So, having nothing else to say, she repeated it.
"What?"
Rainbow sighed "I knew you wouldn't understand." She hung her head in disappointment. "You probably wouldn't understand about the other thing either," she added in a muttered whisper.
"No, I'm sorry," said Twilight, shaking her head. "I didn't mean it like that, I'm just trying to, like, process this whole situation." She pressed a hoof against her forehead. "Because seriously... dancing?"
Rainbow groaned. "Yes, dancing. Is that really so hard to imagine?"
Twilight shrugged. "Well, yeah, actually. It kinda is. I mean, you're Rainbow Dash not Rainbow Dance. It just seems so... not you."
"So? You're Twilight Sparkle and I don't don't see you sparkling all the time."
"That's different!"
Rainbow cocked her eye as to the side, giving Twilight a stern look. "Is it, Twilight? Or are you just being stupid?"
Shaking her head slowly, Twilight said, "I literally don't know anymore." She pushed her heads of up and dusted herself off. "I think... I think I need to go think about some things... I think. I'll talk to you later, Rainbow."
Rainbow was crestfallen, but as Twilight turned to leave she saw something that made her smile. "Heh," she chuckled quietly, "at least I've still got the other thing."
“Rarity!” shouted Twilight as she flung open the door to Carousel Boutique. “It’s about Rainbow Dash. She—”
“Wants to dance?” said Rarity, interrupting Twilight. She turned to face the other mare, giving her a roll of her eyes. “Honestly, Twilight, I’m surprised it took you this long to find out. I was practically dying to tell you before, but Rainbow made me promise not to say anything.” She sighed, fidgeting with a piece of cloth that she was cutting a pattern into. “It’s not like she was hiding it or anything.”
Twilight’s mouth fell open slightly. “Wasn’t hiding it? She did nothing but hide it! Rainbow’s always been very secretive about what she does when she’s—Wait a second…” Twilight stopped, cocked her head to the side, and approached Rarity. “How did you know about Rainbow’s dancing?”
Rarity heaved a sigh while examining the bit of cloth she’d just finished cutting up. “Because I’m observant, for one, and because she told me herself. She said she needed help with… well, something.” Satisfied, she set the patterned cloth aside and picked up a fresh uncut piece. Holding the scissors up to it, she added, “She also told me not to tell you what that something is.”
“Wait, it’s not…” Twilight’s mind flashed back to the ‘dress’ Rarity had been sewing before. She shuddered. “No, no, it can’t be.” Turning back to Rarity, she said, “Why would Rainbow Dash tell you and not me? Does she not like me or something?”
The scissors slipped a bit, and Rarity cleared her throat. “I wouldn’t say that,” she muttered. “To be honest, Twilight, I don’t think it particularly matters why she didn’t tell you. It’s really your own fault for not noticing something was so important to a close friend of yours.” She clicked her tongue, shaking her head. “I’m a bit disappointed in you, Twilight. I really am.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “You wouldn’t be the first,” she mumbled. “But I just don’t get it, Rarity. Why dancing? Of all the things in the world, that seems like the last thing Rainbow Dash would be secretly obsessed with.”
“Well, it’s not the only thing,” Rarity said under her breath.
“It’s not just me who finds it this weird, right?” said Twilight, raising her eyebrow. “I mean, you’re with me on this one, I assume.”
Rarity held up the half-cut swath of dark pink cloth she was holding, examining it. “Well, I have to admit that it did strike me as a tad odd at first, but I think it’s important that we support her in whatever she wants to do. We are her friends after all.”
Twilight nodded. “Of course. I’ll be right behind her, no matter what.”
“I’m sure she’d like that.”
“But, it just seems a bit weird, don’t you think?”
Rarity sighed, setting aside the fabric she was working with. “Twilight, whether it’s weird or not is completely irrelevant. Now, if you want to support Rainbow Dash, then come help me finish this dress. I’m just trying to get the texturing right on these scales, and I need to have them ready by tonight.”
Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “Wait… why by tonight?”
Rarity gave a secretive smile, placing a hoof over her lips. “Now that I can’t tell you. You’ll just have to wait and see.”
Twilight felt something form in the pit of her stomach. She was pretty sure it wasn’t an ulcer, since she’d just had the last one removed a week ago, and she was pretty sure it wasn’t the tub of ice cream she’d eaten the night before. That usually took a week before it got its revenge on her. Now, this something was that something that forms when you feel a bit queasy right before a test, or before jumping off tall platform. The kind of uneasy something that had Twilight seriously concerned she was about to watch her friend dance inside of an elaborate fish costume.
The lights were dim, and that uneasy feeling in Twilight’s chest had not only not gone away, but had actually festered into something the threatened to devour her whole, or at least give her really bad constipation. She watched as yet another pony did some incomprehensible dance across the lighted stage, pirouetting on her hooves, and then leaping into the air like a delicate butterfly. It was the fifth such performance she’d watched, and with each passing pony, Twilight started to feel more and more nervous. She glanced over at Rarity, who was seated next to her.
“Quit fussing so much, Twilight,” she hissed. “Rainbow Dash is up next. Make sure you pay attention, and clap when she’s done.”
Twilight gave Rarity a dead-eyed stare. “Rarity… we shouldn’t have come here. This was a mistake.”
“It was a mistake to come support your friend in doing something she really cares about?”
“No, I mean that we shouldn’t have come to this dance recital. I get that Rainbow has been coming to classes for the last six months, but I’ve got a real bad feeling about this, Rarity. Real bad.”
Rarity rolled her eyes. “Twilight, you’re overacting.”
“Don’t you mean ‘overreacting’?”
“No.”
Twilight groaned. She grabbed Rarity by the shoulders and stared straight into her eyes. “I’m serious, Rarity. I don’t usually believe in all that superstitious stuff, but this whole situation is giving me some bad juju.”
“Twilight,” Rarity snapped, shoving the other mare’s hooves off her shoulders, “get ahold of yourself! We are here to support or good friend Rainbow Dash, and you’re going to sit there and watch her like a good filly.” Something caught her attention, and she turned. “Ah, it appears it’s Rainbow’s turn. Now watch.”
With all the strength she could muster, Twilight managed to turn her head towards the stage just as Rainbow Dash was stepping on to it. At least, she was pretty sure it was Rainbow Dash. It was hard to tell exactly who it was under what was perhaps, simultaneously, the most ridiculous and most horrifying costume Twilight had ever seen. Although, now that the light was shined on her face, she could tell that it was indeed Rainbow’s head poking out of the salmon’s mouth. The scales glittered in the stage lights, and with every movement, it cast sparkles of light all over the audience. It was… dazzling, in a “Oh, Celestia, what has fashion done!?” sort of way.
Now, despite her earlier effort, it became impossible for Twilight to look away. She was entranced by Rainbow’s movements, the way she glided across the stage, her fore hooves poking out from the sides as she made swimming motions. She swam from one side of the stage, and then back to the other, occasionally stopping to bob her head forward a bit, then continue on. After that, she started shaking her tail, and then leap into the air, flailing around a bit before landing on her side where she flopped around like, well, a fish out of water. Once she’d righted herself, Rainbow Dash started making popping noises while looking around at the audience, swimming side to side as she did.
Twilight watched, transfixed, with a far off look in her eye, and sort of limpness about her that one could almost attribute to the fish, if they didn’t know better. After she’d finished making noises at them, Rainbow Dash attempted to balance on her fish tail so she could look up at the ceiling, but she fell over. She tried this three more times before giving up and moving on to her usual “swimming about randomly” schtick.
Her head slowly turning, Twilight looked over at Rarity, who had a similar thousand-mile stare about her. “Rarity,” Twilight whispered.
The other mare turned slowly, her eyes filled with dread.
“Rarity,” Twilight repeated.
Rarity didn’t answer. She merely stared off into the distance, her mouth twitching a bit. “I should’ve listened to you when I had the chance, Twilight. I… should’ve…” She collapsed before finishing her sentence, falling into a puddle on the ground.
Without her companion to help her, Twilight swallowed the lump in her throat and turned back to the stage. She watched in abject horror as Rainbow Dash took out a bubble stick and started blowing bubbles at the audience while balancing on one hoof. Twilight shook her head slowly.
After what felt like an eternity of eternities, Rainbow gave her final bow and then walked off the stage. Twilight, her facial expression dead, leaned down to the pile of Rarity on the ground and shook her. “Rarity… Rarity, it’s over. It’s safe now.”
The puddle stirred. Rarity pushed herself up and sat back in the seat. She glanced over at Twilight, then down at her hooves. “What have I done…” she mumbled.
Twilight put a hoof on her shoulder, shaking her head. “You couldn’t have known, Rarity. No one could have. It’s beyond comprehension.”
Rarity simply stared at her hooves in silence.
“Come on,” said Twilight, helping her listless friend up. “We should… we have to go see her. We have to tell her.”
Rarity didn’t answer, so Twilight grabbed her by the hoof and led her out of the darkened room and towards the backstage. As they passed through a pair of double doors, they came upon Rainbow Dash fishing herself out of the costume.
She noticed them just as she managed to pop her two front hooves out. A smile came over her face. She waved at them enthusiastically. “Hey, guys! Whaddya think?”
“Rainbow, I…” said Twilight, trailing off.
“Yeah?” said Rainbow, nodding excitedly.
Twilight stared silently for a moment. Suddenly, her face cracked into a smile and her eyes lit up. “Oh, I thought it was great. So powerful and emotional. I was about to tear up near the end, right Rarity?”
Rarity copied Twilight and gave a massive grin. “Oh yes, absolutely. It was simply stunning, dear. Simply stunning. I daresay nopony else could possibly hope to top your, er, uniqueness. It was truly something spectacular.”
“You guys really think so?” said Rainbow, the excitement in voice and on her face clear. “That’s awesome!” She leaned forward and hugged Rarity, then Twilight, lingering for a bit too long. “I’m so glad to hear you liked it. I worked so hard on that routine. Practiced it for, like, twenty minutes a week at least.”
Twilight’s grin faltered just a bit, but she righted it immediately. “It shows,” she said cheerily. “You clearly put, um, an amount of effort into it.”
“Yes,” said Rarity, nodding, “quite an, er, amount.”
Rainbow buffed her chest, which, in her current position where just the top half of her body was sticking out the fish’s head, looked utterly ridiculous. “Yeah, well, I am pretty awesome, huh?” She laughed, then her face got serious. “So, uh, I have a bit of a confession to make. That dance… it wasn’t just some random thing I came up with. It was for someone… special. Someone I, uh, care about.” She shuffled her hooves awkwardly.
Twilight bit her lip, then she stuck out her hoof and placed it on Rainbow’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Rainbow, I know already. It’s not like you haven’t been giving off hints all the time. You’re not exactly the Element of Subtlety.”
Rainbow gave a relieved sigh. “Oh, thank Celestia. I was really worried you wouldn’t accept me. Heh,” she chuckled, “I was really worried actually. Kinda kept me up some nights.”
Twilight gave a reassuring smile. “I’d accept you no matter what, Rainbow.”
“Oh, look, here she is now,” said Rainbow, looking over Twilight’s shoulder at an approaching pony.
Twilight turned to see a pony she barely recognized trotting across the room. Her minty green mane bounced cheerfully as she came up to Rainbow Dash and pecked her on the cheek.
Both Twilight and Rarity’s mouths fell open as they simultaneously said, “What?”
“Yeah, me and Lyra’ve been together for a few months now.” She cocked her head to the side when she saw Twilight and Rarity’s faces. “Wait… was that not obvious?”
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..What the hell spawned this...?
~Skeeter The Lurker
4567681
You know the place. You fucking know...
4567681
Fashion.
4567683
Ah. Of course.
Sooo... Can we expect a new story every time a new round happens?
~Skeeter The Lurker
4567693
He's starting to set a precedent for them.
I knew I saw the hints.
Edit: Alex, whatever you're smoking. I need a huff. I want that spark back.
i.imgur.com/oUZncwt.jpg
So...
Pink rainbows dancing for fluffy unicorns?
In any case, a delighfully bizarre story. It brought to mind that one scene from The Big Lebowski. My only regret is that Scootaloo wasn't in the audience at the dance recital. At least, not that we know of...
In any case, thank you for this.
Sorry I couldn't resist:
.....wut
I'm not worthy enough to understand this masterpiece so I'll just leave a like and a fave and be on my way. Good day, sir.
I may have to hate on you for writing this. Why did you do this?
4570246
Because of a one-off joke in a skype chat that led to me coming up with the title "Dances With Rainbows". I didn't really know what to do with that, so I ended up writing this, which, even by my standards, is pretty stupid.
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
That was... strange.
Ehh, upvote.
10 points to you sir. 10 points.
I.... I just... I just can't.... I can't do it. I just can't do it.
I have read some flat-out bizarre stories in my time. From the horribly fucked up type of bizarre to the type where I don't know if I should be laughing or crying.
But this... this is....
this is in a dimension all on its own.
It's like you found the bizarre line, completely disregarded it and kept going, then you found a line so far off that no one even knew it was there. Then you took ten paces past that, planted your flag, and claimed the territory for..... this story.
This story is...
I don't even know what to call this.
10/10 would read again
No words can describe this except.. PERFECT!!
neither would anyone
________________________
Hahahahaha! *dies* I see what you did there.
_______________________
Dash's special somepony was quite the surprise. Nice fic.
Thank goodness you apologized, because you should be sorry. This was the most pained, awkward laughter I've had in weeks, and you should feel bad.
duck this if you dont make more i swear to celestia
i will
4573725 Just call it "Dances With Rainbows", because there's no way to compare this to anything else and in order to even begin to comprehend what this is well... Ya gotta read it?
Also... Fire the shipping canons.
I...I want more...I don't know why though...
A bit out of the blue at the end there, granted there was nothing to indicate who it was anyway. Still, I think Dash having a thing for... elegant trousers would have been sillier, if only for Rarity's reaction.
Some what reminds me of that one episode fro How I Meet Your Mother
I can't forgive you for putting these innocent ponies through this.
"So? You're Twilight Sparkle and I don't don't see you sparkling all the time."
I have held off of this story for weeks. Now I'm... well, I'm happy I have. Still hold Reinhard as my favorite of your works, but I still got a nasty laughter cramp from this. After a weak work shift, this was the kind of thing I wanted to come home to.
Sweet Celestia, that ending scene.
Most Excellent fic.
Slightly saddened there are no descriptions of the audiences suffering.