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Twilight is ecstatic with her new journal and the prospect of writing her life's adventures, eager to begin. However, one unfortunate event leads to a spiral of terrible luck and decisions, culminating in a horrific tragedy. Twilight fails to cope with her changed life, and as she loses her grip on reality, the journal records it all. Her pain, her fall into madness, and the horrible lengths she will go to in an effort to reclaim what has been lost.
Cover image by MidoriFlygon
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I gotta admit, I really love doing this journal kind of writing. Makes the story more personal.
All comments and criticisms regarding the story are greatly appreciated.
FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, WHAT THE HECK IS WITH THAT PICTURE?!?!?!?!
Picture almost scared me as much as "Forever Faithful". I'll read this later.
fimfiction.net/images/story_images/17548_r.jpg?1332799617
Holy crap, this was great. I love journal style stories, and this one in particular...
Though I can't help but wonder what it would be like for Twilight's friends when she went on that spree at the end. I'd like to see something like that.
Overall, an upvote, favourite and a following for you.
Sincerely,
ChrisTheCat
Geez.. Dude.. I know what you were going for but.. Holy Sh!t.
I'm sorry, I'm going to need a minute to regain my posture
I'm usually not into the dark stuff, but this was quite well-done. Twilight was mostly in character, the format of the story was well-suited to its contents, and the shift in tone from the show's atmosphere to the grimness of the piece's second half was pulled off very smoothly.
There were, however, some problems, most notably typos. "I think I down that we didn’t notice Fluttershy swoop over us and come to the bunnies’ rescue." I don't know exactly what the first part of that sentence was supposed to say. Also, "cast" is its own past-tense form and "breathe" is the verb-form of "breath."
There were also minor issues with the story. I said that Twilight was mostly in character, and she was. Her reactions to Rarity`s behavior and her personality change through the story were both believable, but the way she wrote sometimes felt a little off. I feel like her language was at times too casual. Also, where the hell was Spike through all these ordeals? I would've LOVED to see his reaction to Rarity's death and Twilight's psychosis. Well, maybe "loved" isn't the best word, but it was a missed opportunity in any case.
Even with those things in mind, I enjoyed reading this story. You write tragedy very well.
432911
Thank you for pointing out the typos, I was apparently retarded when I was proof reading.
I had an involuntary twitch when I saw the pic on the home page.
That was a good story. I like the part where she plans to kill everyone everywhere.
Oh man.. This.. This is amazing.
It's Sweetie Belle, there's an e at the end of her name.
to cast, cast, cast
You once wrote casted
I don't know what I should write about the story as a whole. It's just too much right now. I'm going to get somebody to get a second opinion of it, I think this is another story for the High Quality Fiction group...
Still, where's Spike?
Her writing style was a little bit off, and that already in the beginning of the story.
Everyone thinks of these ideas before me
...But I commend you. I'd rather you put this idea into action successfully then some random tart with the vocabulary skills of a 1st grader.
that was great, but bucking creepy...
I'm going to read this later- going in my favs- but from these comments I think I'm going to give a grin that puts that cover image a run for it's money while I read
i could see this being like cupcakes if you do a followup (which you should) except with twilight insted of pinky
433759
Oh no, I'm not turning this into another torture fic. I leave the gore in my stories up to the reader's imagination.
But the idea for a sequel has popped into my mind.
Extremely well written, and I gave it a green thumb, but I hated it. This is one of those rare pieces of writing that really gets to me, and it wasn't in the best of ways. Still, a very good story, even if it didnt suit my tastes.
433796
Thank you for judging the story based on my writing and not the subject matter.
jesus christ twilight noooooooo!!!
anyways this was a great well written story
I actually cried from this because in the end you know Twilight never meant for any of this to happen to her or anypony else
"I'm sure tomorrow will turn out to be just fine.
I killed Rarity."
What an intresting plot twist.
yes twilights a complete badass but in her state of mind i think she is going to fail against celestia or luna or she'll use up her soul befor then so im for once hoping twilight dies since she will at least have a soul leftover
srry twilight ATTACK FLUTTERSHY
yay!!!
RUN FLUTTERSHY
oh no that poor adorble fool
Um OK enjoyed it, why is it that Twi is always trying to kill everyone I read Forever Faithful when it was being shown at that place on the page where they show 5 Fanfics but yeah I enjoyed it I scare myself when I realize that I read this type of Fanfics a lot but can't wait for a squeal to this one
I finally got around to reading this...
img.ponibooru.org/_images/00344fe40182c98971aa3ef6b25edee9/146911%20-%20image_macro%20macro%20sleeping%20spike.png
Never, ever let anyone you know personally read this. I am serious. You will be committed yourself.
Ehm... everything was fine until the ending... the "I'm going to bring her some friends" is a very overused thing and, in my opinion, it looked like a forced ending to this story. Don't get me wrong, it is good... but it could've been great.
um..wow..this...this miight be a little more desterbing then rainbow factory....
Thumb up and faved. It's well written and dark and sad stories my favorite. I see you make a sequel and combined with your comment (Oh no, I'm not turning this into another torture fic.) I'm really looking forward it. Gore mostly leave me unfazed, when it comes to psychological and emotional horror now that's my cup of tee. (I know a lot of people don't like it but for me Blair witch is still one of the best horror I ever saw.)
When I saw the pic, I just twitched and closed my computer.
I eventually opened it back up and typed this.
George: well, we're boned.
sad but sweet
That picture almost gave me a heart attack!! Give me a sec - i need to go get my pills... all of them. I'll see you in the next life
SEQUEL!
Honestly, the picture didn't scare me. Am I that far gone?
Best. Horror. Story. Ever. I loved it! Good work my friend.
I've seen beasts in the pits of Kaon that would squirm at this Fic!
5/10
Pretty accurate view on insanity, I'll give you that. Its even harder to do through a 1st person journal...
holy crap shes lost her bloody mind, good job with the escalating events and worsening insanity but i want to know what twilight did to R.D. wings 9/10
Honestly the whole necromancy and murder of, well, everybody didn't even phase me. Should I be worried?
Entry #12 》Entry #13
Well, that escalated quickly!
Entry #12 》Entry #13
Well, that escalated quickly!
Why would she need to be in a wheelchair? Only her wings were broken, not her legs. She can still walk.
I honestly think this would be better without most of that last bit. It would have wrapped up nicely, horrifically if you had ended it with "Bring her some friends."
So this is kind of like the prequel story. It explains a lot.
Wow.........
...............Yikes.
wow. I LOVE IT
the cover art for the story is just disturbing and I love it