• Member Since 22nd Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 14th, 2012



A wicked and twisted mare, who was a friend of all ponies of Ponyville, overthrows Princess Celestia and Luna with raw power and brute force. Using dark and evil magics, she drained the magic from the Princesses to keep them powerless and imprisoned them deep within the palace, which she took the liberty of redecorating. Under this mare's reign, Equestria is dangerous, and ponies must work to retrieve resources for her research, or become imprisoned until they die of starvation or dehydration (Their bodies being used for research).

Across Equestria, rebel groups hide from the new ruler; however, a particular group of five, known as The Elements, who are admired by all other rebels for their bravery and skill, push further and harder, preparing for the day to return Equestria to its glorious, harmonious state. But as they proceed further, chances of success become slim, as the ruler cracks down on the rebel groups and begins heavily funding new ways to track them down and eliminate them. Will The Elements be able to save Equestria in time, before they're found and killed?

[Edit]: Credit for cover art to ObstreperousSynapse. Many thanks for the cover!

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 65 )

This looks pretty cool! I love that you have Trixie on the good side now. Can't wait to see more :pinkiecrazy:

watching this because it sounds brilliant

I'd really like to see where this goes.


This ones death shall bring me happiness.

This is looking absoultely awesome so far. Definatly tracking. Good luck with the writing. The art is pretty cool too =D

Sounds pretty great. Getting confused with the journals though. Rainbow Dash said as long as she has a family, who is Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash??? That doesn't make since, unless I'm following this wrong... Yeah I think I am. Yep, nevermind, it's fine. I wonder what happened to Twilight to make her do this? Favorited/tracked!

Digging the journal format. And an evil Twilight?:pinkiegasp:

havnt yet read but ive been dieing to rea dosmething like this hope you dont dissapoint:twilightsmile:

400074 by the way i dont mind if they fail evil or good twilight should aways win *whispers*aways:twilightsheepish:

i have a feeling your gonna kill off everyone... still sounds good though...

Cliffhanger? Really? Come on!
Ah well, keep it up, I look forward to the next one.

No matter what you do twi you are sill the best:twilightblush:

A cliff hanger?




You people put me in more shock everyday. :twilightblush:

Apologies for the short first chapter everyone. I promise to make up for it. :twilightsmile:

Fantastic chapter. I will patiently await more.

403658 You make up for it with a cliff hanger? XD :raritydespair: WHY!?

Awesome story so far though ^^

I'm a little confused. Twilight as LORD of Equestria? LORD Sparkle? She became human-like AND did a sex-change? Other than that, awesome story.

Doctor Derpin aproves of this! You, sir, have earned a moustache. :moustache:

Anthro, yes. Lord of Equestria, yes. Sex change? I remember giving her hands and making her anthro. I don't recall making her male. Lol.:derpyderp2:

A cliff hanger, huh? Well time to wait for the next chapter. :pinkiecrazy:
Your story is really interesting, I like the direction you're taking it.

very nice work. i cant wait until the next chapter

I feel like I'm rushing and that the story sounds like it barely goes anywhere, or that it's a little repetitive. But as long as people enjoy reading it, I guess it's okay.

I do plan on slowing down a bit, read through the thesaurus some :pinkiecrazy:

Chapter 3 may take a little longer, but hopefully it'll be worth the wait. :raritywink:

interesting.....so the ponies in the test tubes are clones? does this mean there are 2 trixies running around or was that a scene from the past?:rainbowhuh:

>> DavidPony
Chapter 2 explained that Trixie died already. I figured that was clear enough. Lol. BUT, further into the story will explain in more detail. :twilightsmile:

she went to sleep in an inhabited room come on trixie i know your stuck up but realy:facehoof:
my avatar matches my thoughts perfectly (granted trixie wasnt the smartest cookie in teh show so who knows)

Wait, so, do they (Trixie and the rest of the Mane 6) have hands with fingers on their front limbs, and hooves on their back limbs or what? Does Twilight have hands and feet, instead of hooves? That would make this a little more clear so I can picture it better.

>>Pinkie Floyd
Well of course. I didn't explain that in this chapter because I explained in a previous chapter that everypony within Equestria is affected by Twilight's spell through the amplification device she constructed. That includes Trixie since she's basically at the core source of the amplification. (Everyone in Equestria has hands and hooves. No feet.)

Good luck with this, if you manage to pull this off then you should be proud, because I am one experienced Grimdark reader, and if you manage to scare me, then you deserve a Pinkie Pie party!:pinkiecrazy:

Thanks, I'mma try my best for a grimdark, but I don't exactly want it to be too close to Cupcakes style. Lol. I'm hoping for a place on EQD someday, and I don't think they go looking to put Cupcakes stuff in the spotlight. :derpytongue2:

This is a really late reply, sorry =P
Lord is the male word for Lady. That's what I meant.

Ok, while I'm at it, some critique. I think Twilight would be capable of stealing the princesse's powers but the reason ''I want to take over the world'' sounds very unlike Twilight. If she thought taking over the world and doing her experients would be the best for everypony I bet it would happen.
By the way, it should be Lady Sparkle not Lord Sparkle unless you turned Twilight into a guy. Either way good luck with your fic.:pinkiehappy:

Very much appreciated to those letting me know my mistake. Lord --> Lady. Errors fixed. (Yay for Ctrl + F)

You're very much right. It is very unlike Twilight. Twilight can snap, which we've all seen in Lesson Zero, but that's not entirely the reason for this 'dark side' of Twilight. As you may have noticed, I'm an author of surprises. Just keep reading on and you'll understand. Surprises. :pinkiehappy:

When people do really well, I feel they deserve to be told.

Awesome job, and keep up the awesome story.

Feedback's definitely fun to have. I'm enjoying this, so I'll give back by responding to each section:
I don't trust Vanilla. Vanilla paused and struck a serious face. “You’re very lucky. Had you told anypony else, you’d likely be carried off right about now to be dissected alive" If I were in Trixie's place, I'd take that as a sign that I just made a very bad mistake in revealing my intentions. :trixieshiftleft:Desperation calls for risks, but she's putting it all on the line by waiting in the closet for Vanilla's return. I suppose she has little choice. Her earlier escape attempt led nowhere. :trixieshiftright:
Pinkie's always been the most troubled pony. She grew up on a rock farm after all. :pinkiecrazy:
Has Twilight read the other book with her name in it? :twilightblush:
Neat use of irony. You've implied that Twilight started reading a book where heroes overcome "the monster of the twilight" as whatever dark influence from the heirloom begins to work on her, and she finishes reading the book while she is in the very position of the monster. It doesn't seem to have an effect on her, though. Perhaps she rationalizes her dominion as fulfilling the line: Peace reigned across Equestria once more? :twilightangry2:
Bad idea Pinkie, very bad idea. If I were Twilight, keeping watch over my friends' homes is the first thing I'd do to catch them. Staying in Twilight's home is a little less obvious, but I'd have so much trouble going to sleep in there, thinking about its former resident. :fluttershysad:
I'll be here for the next chapter :twilightsmile:

nice chapter:twilightsmile: and also dont do like some authors do and rush to the ending after a certain amount of chapters to be honest if you tried hard enough you could make a trilogy

ooooooooh things are getting interesting...

495356 no but i do seem to be able to do stuff like that to good authors:twilightsheepish:

though pinkie walks through the valley of shadow and death, she feels no fear.

And I'm back to state my reaction as I read each section! *clears throat* :

Go Grammy!
Go Pinkie Pie!
I still don't trust Vanilla :trixieshiftleft:
Must be frustrating for your team to just get up and leave in the middle of the night without telling anyone. That's a pretty serious abuse of trust. Would be hard to go to sleep anymore without wondering if you'll get abandoned again
Twilight's pretty crazy, taking that kind of punishment and still going strong. It seemed like the friends had a handle on her, but still they ran. I can only assume she's a lot more dangerous than she seemed in that moment.
Generosity, held by a pony within the palace? I smell something, and it is neither chocolate nor strawberry! :trixieshiftright:
Hang in there Twilight! :fluttershysad:

Really good chapter!:pinkiesmile: So is the Element of Compassion supposed to be a fragment of Kindness or something?

I figured it would be appropriate to ask my faithful readers this in comments, to make sure I get an answer:

Since Vanilla (A character I made up) has unexpectedly shown up more in the story than I thought at the beginning, would it be appropriate to edit the story's characters and add "Other" to the list of major characters? I wanted someone's opinion on that because he's come to show up a lot in the story so far and will probably continue to show up and get more important from here on.


Your story so far doesn't beg for an OC tag; it's been true to the Mane6 + Trixie as the focus. If Vanilla is going to start stealing the spotlight from the other ponies rather than just being supportive then it could use an OC tag, such as if you have a section dedicated to Vanilla's adventures or how he makes a critical difference in some important events.

Bottom line: sounds like you could use an OC tag, but if you really don't want one I don't think you need one. Do keep in mind I'm as new as you are right now :facehoof:


Well, there are two different tags. There is the 'OC' tag and the 'Other' tag. Vanilla is, I suppose an OC, since I made him, but he doesn't represent me or any of my friends, but then again, any character I make up is an Original Character, huh? I feel so blonde.:derpytongue2:


I always interpreted "Other" to mean a canon or otherwise existing (batman) character that is not tagged, whereas OC is one who nopony knows a thing about until you describe him. For that reason I'd consider Vanilla an OC, but I've seen people use "Other" instead. *shrug* :derpyderp1:

P.S. I suddenly started staring at the notification bar for about 10 seconds thinking "I wonder if QT Mark read my comment?" then poof, you replied. :twilightoops:

Login or register to comment