• Published 3rd Jun 2014
  • 50,004 Views, 318 Comments

Traditions and Customs - Distorted Flare



A passing remark about how humans rode horses and ponies back home, prompts Celestia to try and help the still awkward human feel welcome.

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Comments ( 87 )

“Lust of Mares.” A equine version of fifty shades of grey the book became famous for its “saucy love scenes and tales of forbidden love. Revolving around a stallion that acquired himself a harem of royalty and told of their erotic adventures and did not skimp on detail. Personally I thought it was a crap read nothing more than a cheap sex fantasy for desperate lonely mares.

I still crack up every time I read that paragraph.

5093431 There's one I'm reading that's HumanxCelestiaxLuna. No Cadence unfortunately but it's a good story. Called How many friends have you made today?

if you squint your head

How does one squint their head?

Huh, I wonder if there was some changeling magic at work for influencing Alex to cheat on the princesses? I have to say, even if he somehow gets out of this, I don't think he'll be off the hook so easily. :applejackunsure:

“Lust of Mares.” A equine version of fifty shades of grey the book became famous for its “saucy love scenes and tales of forbidden love. Revolving around a stallion that acquired himself a harem of royalty and told of their erotic adventures and did not skimp on detail. Personally I thought it was a crap read nothing more than a cheap sex fantasy for desperate lonely mares.

It took me a minute to remember you wrote this and were just mocking yourself. No I tend not to pay attention to authors, why do you ask?

That was awesome. I swear every time I read a new chapter of any of your stories you get 20% cooler:rainbowwild::rainbowlaugh::twilightsmile::moustache:

I can see your self criticism, you can't fool me! Was it Chrissy who kidnapped our intrepid hero or a drone?

Wait I'm confused. I think you updated this to the wrong story. Traditions & Customs is about Anon, not Alex...

5133383

After making a small remark to Twilight about the ponies back home being traditionally ridden by humans. Twilight sends a letter to her mentor on her findings. Alex never thought that Celestia would go out and purchase a saddle from an adult shop in an attempt to honor his "heritage". Though as the two awkwardly perform the task, Luna comes to the wrong conclusion assuming it to be a something else. Luna then wishes to have a piece of this "Horseback riding."

Though as a result now he is starting to build a reputation and as more and more mares seek him, Anon will quickly learn that a society populated heavily by mares is not the place for a creature with good stamina and hands.

That was a awesome read and a awesome chapter all together.the past's with him and the princess was sweet.the end count me of gourd.I can't wait to see what happens next between them all next and what happens next to them all next.I hope he can turn her good and everything will be ok.oh and I hope Zecora and Twilight are next.

Pet…that is something in that, that only make me boil with rage, oh I so hope he break Chrysalis legs soon, I just hated when the protagonist is just…well objecticed like that

5133389

Though as a result now he is starting to build a reputation and as more and more mares seek him, Anon will quickly learn that a society populated heavily by mares is not the place for a creature with good stamina and hands.

That just makes it more confusing.

How is it that he hasn't got any gaurds watching him when he walks out alone? You would think that princesses would be wiser then just letting him walk alone like that. Even if it is in the castle.

5133389

Alex never thought that...
...mares seek him, Anon will quickly learn...

so, is it Alex or Anon? I'm confused now.

Did you really just put "Lust of Mares" in this? :yay:

Burger Queen

Is that what happens when you mix Burger King and Dairy Queen, if so I am totally down with that

5134359 its Alex I changed the name really did not like working with anonymous prefer characters to have names

Comment posted by s1 deleted Oct 23rd, 2014

5137207 Being honest I would be careful with those kind of images. I have no problem but they could come under NSFW.

saucy love scenes

Was the saucy bit really needed :D

Revolving around a stallion that acquired himself a harem of royalty and told of their erotic adventures and did not skimp on detail.

It sounds familiar but I can't place it... Meh, it'll come to me.

Excellent chapter once again keep em coming

What a TWIST!!!:pinkiegasp:

5222173 yeah the Google docs auto changes his name to anon due to my dick of a friend fucking about. Sorry about that so some times it will read as anon but his name is Alex

Ya just got to squint your head.

5132551 Yeah well fuck you max :fluttershysad:

5251027 And turn it slideways.

5135510 I did cause I am awesome

Ah good, and here I thought he cheated on them.

Im weird huh? Rather have a changeling than have him cheating on them.

5503259
Yes. Just yes. All my Yes. I haven't even red it yet, and I know I'm going to enjoy it, because the protag gets to ride the Princesses, in both the literal and possibly sexual sense.

5503259
Just read all three chapters in one go. I was not disappointed in the slightest.

oh this shit is getting interesting



statclassy:moustache:

“Good evening, Sir Alex,” a soft voice spoke up. I gave a small sigh. Rubbing my eyes, I was able to focus them enough to see the bemused face of Moon Dancer. The mare gave me a toothy grin as she lowered her torch. Her violet locks partially covered her right eye. “Surprised to see me?”

Matrix?....Is just me?...A Matrix reference?...No?...Just a impression?...Ok... :pinkiecrazy:

will there be more chapters?

The hight makes it kind of awkward, why is she so big? It would be less awkward if she was regular horse size. Regardless, it was a good read.

6036770 Sorry I got the words mixed up.

Is you gonna continue? o:

6041493 Yeah when I have time. Writing is something I do for fun so it is not a serious hobby for me so I update when I am free.

6042859 I see. :3
Well I'm good waiting. Take yo time~!

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