How long had it been since Cadance put out for Shining that he would start fucking the maids? I'm entirely against cheating but if my wife just stopped putting out copletely, eventually even I would give in to temptation.

Yes please, make a full story out of this, there is so much to think I mean, it has being a while, and Luna and Celestia clearly had tell of their pregnancy, does that mean Anon is a prince now?

Please continue with the story

An actual story with this premise would be awesome!

lol when i hoped for a sequel/chapter two, i didnt expect more clop to be quite honest. i dont know why that was my expectation, it just was! i was more excited to see what pops out of luna and celestia. a pony? a human? a pony human hybrid similar to the ivoryverse satyrs? only time will tell!

Hmm hmmm hmmm mhmhmhmhmhmhmmmmm I CAAAAAAME!

Dat Bioshock thou

Shining you little sh*t.

Really? Bioshock Infinite? Really? Sigh Okay

On the inside and outside: feelsengine.com/var/albums/Bored-%26-Not-Impressed/Eminem%20Is%20Not%20Amused.jpg?m=1384231281

4577652 Wasn't meant to be funny, just a small scene I thought would be a bit of fun

4577703 But still, it was indeed, Hilarious.

4577703 And by the way, with your profile pic, why is Scootaloo sitting on Celestia's head?

4577716 because you have to wear a super serious hat when speaking

4577730 Silence, is all I could up with when my brain imagined Celestia giving a speech with a chicken on her head.

But either way, that does make sense... In some sort of way.

Must have more!!!!!

Bioshock made me chuckle but otherwise.... MORE

One was adorned with a phoenix the other a small cage.

Bird? Or the Cage? Or maybe the Bird? Or perhaps the Cage?

Sir Anon of Swag, Conquer of Princesses

That escalated quickly.

4578536 or both?

4581053
Someone else notices it! Hooray!

Yeah, didn't like this chapter, mainly because you had to arbitrarily break up a canon couple to even have it.

4582004 Who cares? its clop I can change it and have it that he was raped to death by changelings if that is better? As I said no plot, just clop.

4582009 Being honest the parts for chapter one and two were re-written so often that their will be bits that feel off. Give me time and I will correct them

Other than some spelling issues, I'd say part 2 was written better than one. At least you added transitions when Cadence and anon changed positions.

There's so much plot all over the place, Anon, and thia story ia just covered in it.

Bonding chapter between the alicorns and our human. Atleast I hope that the next chapter is about that. :)

"Yeah to ask inquisitively like How is your leg doing after the accident.”

Add a quotation mark at the beginning? Also I'm not really sure why she's referring to a leg...

I tried everything, but he doesnt even give me a second glance.

Doesn't

Unsure of what to do II soothingly ran my hoof down her back, hoping to calm the pink alicorn.

Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones

"Auntie... I cant, I am married... even if he is a cheating bastard I took an oath to be faithful. Anyway... what could I offer him that you two could not.

Again, quotation marks at the beginning + Can't

“Face it i’m damaged goods. I couldn't even give Shinning a foal.”

Caps

“It inst a big deal I just wanted to get you something. You are an amazing pony Cadence I just wish I could afford to get you a necklace that matched your beauty.

Isn't

First paragraph of Anon's POV isn't indented.

The city was quite as ponies rested in the shade a public bathroom and a couple of shops were all that were open as Cadence paused.

Quiet?

“I dont see you complaining with my teasing,”

Don't

I hissed grabbing her hair,I violently jerked

hair, I

mere centimeters apart I give

Caps

I stopped looking for grammar problems right about where she stops givin' the guy head. There's more, so you might want to go and revise the chapter when you can.

boner pls staph. That's all i got to say.

“Are you sure of this Niece!” I asked not wishing to jump to conclusions as the more gave a nod accompanied with a pitiful whimper.

More = Mare

Wrapping a wing around her I gently rocked the grief stricken more, letting her vent her pain.

More = Mare (You've done this twice, So i'm not sure if I'm just not getting it or what?)

and sexy mare you are then more fool him.

This statement is throwing be off. Its the more fool him part I think.

pretty being a dick in general

if you take out "being a" and just adding "big" in their place it mite sound better. Just a subbjestion.

Here are a few things that cought my eye that needs looked at or into. Other then that the story was wonderful! Will there be another chapter? I hopes so its really sexy!

4591434 Google doc up until recently I did not even realise that it automatically replaced mare with fucking more.

4591650 lol, You do have to keep an eye on it. Tech is tricky and has minds of its own! I know this all to well!

4592074 lol

Who will be next?

4599382 Princess Twilight?

4606491
Don't forget that Luna and Celestia are almost ready to get birth so next chapter might be of they having the baby and his coronation, je wouldn't it be funny that the same day they have their baby Cadence tells them she is pregnant?

4607444 Das wäre höchst interessant.

Better not be that freak of nature......and books twillight and if it is then i will go back to tamriel

4582004 Well yeah how else was I meant to have her shag him? Also that is the fun of it is being able to do what you want.

4576894 Fine But I am not doing both either clop or story so think it over cringe worthy clop or cringe worthy story telling

4701810
Please kind sir…I'm hungry for how that story develop

…yeah I didn't actually saw that movie but I know that famous scene.

I will be honest I was tempting to put: 'Please sir, may I have more boobies' Because apparently when exited they show how big they are and they are healthy, but I was fearing that might get confused

4701839 Good thinking there people would be thinking "But they are non anthro ponies how can they have boowbz?"

4701846
eeyup…so any possibilities of the next chapter coming up soon?

4701854 well I started writing today but since it is 7 in the morning and I have yet to get any sleep I am planning to go to bed in a couple mins. But I have two hundred words written. Not much but hey I will get more done when I wake up also my friend and I have finished 10 pages for the scent comic we are doing a pilot crossover with resident evil so that should be fun

4701989
Indeed it will had fun on your sleep, goodnight, with luck maybe Luna will pay you a visit

4701768 story any day man, it's what I thought would be cool

4586319 She isn't, my proof reader and I were discussing how query would work here!

4706515

She isnt my proof reader and I were discussing how query would work here!

isn't

Better luck next time.

4714285 "Better Luck next time?" Can I ask what the point of picking me up on that of all things was? Surely you have things in your life that need more care than correcting me on one apostrophe? Seems oddly specific to pick someone up on that. If we were arguing then maybe to get a rise or to fault the person in his argument but not in this situation. "Better Luck next time" seems oddly antagonistic. Can I to assume that you hold a certain level of dislike for me, or have I in some way offended you?

4714307
Well, that's weird. I don't really know how better luck next time can be used in an antagonistic way. In fact, the entire reason I replied to your comment was because I thought you miss replied to me thinking I was someone else. Because frankly, in the first comment I made, I was really just pointing out that there are mistakes in the chapter and it needs to be looked over. And I also don't know why you were referring to a she in your last comment, which gave me reasoning to believe it was for someone else for another conversation you were having with someone. That's why I poked fun at your comment since in my last comment I made some corrections on the last chapter.
And as for my feelings of you. I sort of liked your stories for the mindless clop, and I didn't really have any feelings of dislike for you Well... Before hand I didn't. Now since you're accusing me either insulting you or being antagonistic in some kind of way just by typing "Better luck next time" I suggest you get the stick out of your ass and replace it with even the slightest sense of humor. So, I was not trying to get a rise out of you in my last comment. Now, well... Maybe, but before hand, no, it was just a joke.

P.S

fault the person in his argument but not in this situation.

Comma - Argument, but