• Member Since 17th Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen Nov 12th, 2021

Miracle


Spin, spin, spin, around and around we go. Let yourself go; if you follow me, you will turn blue, for I will breathe life into your hopelessness...

Comments ( 64 )

Will this story at least have a happy ending?

4260530 maybe so, maybe no--I haven't decided yet.

4263284

"Never say 'never'.", sugar. :3

Leaving Vault101 in F.O.3, at the start of the game doesn't mean that you never return.

My only complaints here is that the story feels a bit... rushed. Other than that, nice job.

Wait so, wouldn't he die soon after having his mouth coated in acid? Sounded like it burned off his tongue.

Also, does that mean he's in like, constant pain?

4274804

I never stated it was actually 'acid', only that it had an effect similar to weakened acid, not to mention that acid (Dependent on HP levels) can differ from how fast corrosion occurs.

And even though I can see why it may be questionable... One must realise that the stoty takes place in an alternate universe with psychokinetic, marshmallow, rainbow-filled ponies--Logic will be very hard to fully interpret and apply to everyday life.

On a side note, I should also mention the character isn't a male, nor female for that matter.

I appreciate your concern, though, darlin'.

:3

Бинго

... Really? Why? "Bingo", I'm sure, would have been easier to type in addition to not all-but forcing people who can't read Cyrillic letters to copy-paste into Google.

Comment posted by Miracle deleted Apr 25th, 2014

4285913

Am I putting a proverbial gun to your head?

No, I'm not; so, I'm not 'Forcing' you to copy-paste anything into Google.

Just because my story has a language you don't understand, it doesn't make for constructive criticism.

4286086

Again, really? If someone wants to understand what your writing, then, yeah, they do have to look it up. You didn't use "a language"; you used one word that has the exact same meaning and nearly the exact same pronunciation in English and Russian. What you did is basically like typing in "компьютер" instead of "computer" in the middle of a sentence otherwise comprised of English: It adds nothing but confusion.

Okay, for those wondering what's going on with the story here's the run-down:

I have cut the final few chapters that have confused many people, and will be available in the credits for those wanting to see it.

Another thing--Since I tried experimenting by adding an antagonist (Which, in all honesty, I think didn't work well), I've been curious as to what you folk want in the next chapter, content-wise.

I'm unsure if you're needing for any adult material in this story to be more 'mature', or simply have next-to none of it.

So, with that said--What happens in the next chapter?

That's weird, the comment I left earlier is gone.

The plot is really bizarre. We never know why the main character is tiny, or how he got where he was, for starters. That's fine, I suppose, but then he just wanders aimlessly for the next four chapters, sometimes very briefly in danger, but never got long. Nothing comes of anything he does in any chapter. He just wanders, then almost makes it somewhere, then is displaced somewhere completely different. The next chapter he does the same thing.

Then the OC villian pops in at random, completely unrelated to anything. She has tons of hi-tech devices that are never explained. We aren't told what she wants or is trying to do, only that she's vaguely evil. The protagonist is caught, he grabs the shrink gun (which was never once mentioned before then - is he part of the OC's group or something?), then kills everyone without issue. End of story.

4294413

I deleted the final few parts of the story, I'll be adding them in the credits as cut content.

I apologise, I didn't know it would've deleted comments made onto the chapter.

I can understand any confusion or frustration that the 'ending' gave to some, so I've decided to rewrite the content, with suggestions from others.

With that being said--What would you like to see or happen in the next segment?

4294021
I dont know what you could do for next chapter.
Perhaps some unaware insertion or somthing?
I dont know.

4294450

May I ask if you have a preference as to who and where?

Granted, I doubt I'll be able to add it to chapter five, but nonetheless--I'll keep it in mind for possibilities.

4294468
I dont really have a preferance.
Insertion is just universaly arousing for me.

4294440
I dunno, that's kind of thing. I have no idea what you wanted to do with this story. I read it to find out.

What was the reason you had for writing it in the first place? If it was for a series of fun micro scenarios, why did you avoid any type of interaction, drama, or excitement? For example, the protagonist runs around Twilight's library, but never does anything or interacts with anything before leaving. He ends up in Rarity's bath, but just swims for a bit before she gets out and he's discovered by the OC.

If the reason was to tell an odd little sci-fi story about someone in a crime group who shrinks himself to hide from his boss, maybe develop the other characters, give us some reason as to why he's hiding, and give the main character some kind of goal to achieve.

I think maybe it's worth going back a bit to why you started the story in the first place, and then figuring out a general direction you want the story to head in. Then you can tell that story.

4294532

I was planning to use sexual themes, but I figured it would just turn into non-stop-clop, which not many folk are really into.

But, now that some people seem to be keen on said content, I am going to consider adding sexual material.

Since I'm tweaking parts of the story anyway, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to add some improvements.

Wait, the story is back to incomplete? THANK CELESTIA! I was going to have a "few" things to say if it was over. Micro stories of this kinda are really hard to find, so I didn't want this to end the way it did

4294694

Gets even better--I'll be adding more content to the previous chapters (e.g. Twilight and the library scenes), so expect more 'adult' material.

Mkay, there's a little tag that I'm sure you clicked on when you made the story. It's called "Mature", and it covers NSFW stuff like " hoof-play, questionable sexual self-control, ethics and moral standards." If you've got a mature tag on your story, you don't need to put annoying and obstructive notes all over the place warning people about stuff they ought to be already aware of. Anyone who wasn't deterred by the mature or the sex tag, and isn't okay with this type of content is a little bitch and should grow a pair. The only real warning you should put there is that this is vore, since that isn't strictly covered by the [mature] tag.

Just tell the story. The last thing you want is for your reader to sit down, settle themselves in, and open the book, ready to be brought to another world, only to be forcefully shoved back into reality by an author's note that reminds them they're reading a fictional tale. You've just shot yourself in the foot, and you're about to turn away anyone who's read enough books to view this as a sign of an amateur.

4302878

With all due respect--The reader has the right to know what they're getting into, indicating the mature content beforehand only makes for a more reliable experience, as not all chapters have to be sexual or inappropriate, just from a tag in the rating system.

If people want to simply ignore those warnings, I'm not stopping them, but like removing a safety sign at work, you shouldn't think about the effect it could give to those expecting it, as that's common-knowledge, but then again--Not everybody is exactly Einstein on the internet, right?

Out of curiosity... Is Alozec (Or whatever her name was... I'm forgetting right now) still going to be a part of this story?

4306634
No, I highly doubt it,

ok this fic makes no sense at all

You are amazed at your size, as it took almost an entire minute of constant running to get to the middle of the rusty screw... Then again, being a third of an inch will do that to you.

like are you confusing inches for millimeters here or what giant ass bed sized screws are you talking about when you wrote that?......

or are you just a slug irl? and same goes for everything else what the fuck was happening with the proportions at any time?....

4341379

Using vulgar terms to use for criticism is just childish.

If you ever learn some manners, try replying again.

Oh, and for your information, no--believe it or not, I'm not a 'slug irl'.

4341742 he makes a good point tho

4348641

If you're referring to the 'slug irl' part, then I hope you're not serious--For your sake, anyway.

But if you're referring to his or her previous statement, then it was simply an misread error on my behalf.

When I changed the ending, I also changed the size of the character, of which I edited the rest of the story so far to its appropriate perspective.

I simply forgot to change that part of that chapter.

In conclusion, I've already edited it, and I apologise if anyone lost any sleep over it.

Damn, this was good chapter!

4445088

There's still more of this chapter that I need to do, though.

4446042
I don't mind. It's already good as hell!

4446060

Okay, now the chapter is completed.

4446252
The chapter is even better now :-D Im looking forward for AJ chapter ;-)

Wow, now that's cool. I wonder how he/she will get from it :-D
Let me tell you. Do that AJ chapter as dirty and sweaty as much as possible.

I can literally right now, not think of a more disgusting way to go involving semen

I have read the first four chapters of this story, and I have to say... that I find it wonderful! I can't deny that I myself felt the... excitation while reading some parts of it :heart:

Personally speaking, I don't mind the fact that we're not told the main character's background, how he was shrunk, why he was there to begin with, etc.: since after all this is a micro story and we all know what its main purpose is; of course, it has to have some coherence (and I'm seeing it so far), but there's no need to carefully explain everything: instead, starting the fic in media res is perhaps even better than writing a long prologue and only after have the macro/micro scenes happen.

I also like your writing style, with lots of descriptions and a good knowledge of how such stories have to be written in order to... entertain the readers... so well, I'm loving this fic a lot! ^_^ The only tiny, little issue I've found is that I haven't quite fully grasped the main character's size, other than that he/she is veeeeery tiny; it seems like this fic gives hints that range from a few millimeters to "so-little-that-you-have-to-use-a-magnifying-glass-to-see-him/her. I think I've also read a similar comment under the first chapter so maybe the proportions are really varying a bit during the fic and it's not just that I've misread things... but really, it's just a little detail ^^ After all, the important thing that you wanted to convey is that the character is so microscopic that he can't absolutely be noticed by anypony and you've already expressed it perfectly.

So... what else can I say? I'll certainly read the further chapters with pleasure! :pinkiesmile: Oh, I also wanted to let you know that I'm not very used to Fimfiction, since I don't use it a lot even if I've got an account here... so there's something that confuses me... there are seven chapters listed under the description of the story, and then there's suddenly chapter 16 whose title is "credits" and so on: so... are there eight chapters missing? Not to mention that the story is "On Hiatus", according to what I can read there... but I'm sure that it's me the one who's misinterpreting something, after all I rarely use Fimfiction... ^^

4526681

Thank you, I'm happy to see you're enjoying it, it gives me more inspiration to write more.

Anyways, I should explain a few pointers for you:

Firstly, the chapters that aren't visible are the ones I haven't started, yet.

Secondly, I tagged this as 'On Haitus' because this story will only be updated every week or two, meaning updates aren't as common, therefore I'm busy on other projects.

4526782 Ah, I see for everything ^_^ So...I can only say that I'll read the rest as soon as I can, and of course, I'll be looking forward to the next chapters that have yet to be written as well! :applejackunsure:

Beautiful! ^^ How much I would love to make love to that gorgegous dirty, sweaty hoof. I would never leave and kept feeding on dirt and drinking swear. Yummy ^^

1) Сhapters are too small( Would really prefer them longer. Right now. personally for me, the action ends several sentences after start.
2) Horses have navel? Didn't know that.

Really like your story though, even some things are just "eeeeew" for me.

4708373

I tend to keep my chapters approximately 800-2000 words, as I can only work with limited content per-chapter, otherwise I'd risk having a writer's block, which isn't easy to recover from.

Also, I apologise for the illogical anatomy, but it's just something that many people expect to see in these sort of stories, and I personally believe it shouldn't detract anyone from the story, itself ( Obviously not if it's something he/she isn't into. )

Anyway, despite my reasoning, I appreciate the criticism, sugar... Well--A logical, constructive criticism, anyway.

Have a chapter with button mashs mom in it

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