Mi name is Twilight Sparkle an I am pregnant with a foal. I dont know who's foal it is but I do know that I hav too protect it.
Wish me luck!
Please do not comment mean things It makes me sad :(
Chapters (4)
- Member Since 1st Nov, 2013
- offline last seen Apr 19th, 2014
OccamsRazor
Mi favurite poni is twilight sparkl i luv her very much and so do all mi ocs. if u dont like it den skrew off
OccamsRazor
Joined 1st Nov, 2013 ·
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Pssssstttt, guess what?
Dr? More like doctor!
Also, I'm already seeing some areas with question marks that don't deserve them, and visa versa.
Also, taught should be thought.
Also, doctors are not allowed to blanatly insult their patients.
Sentance structure seems a bit funny here. A lot of these sentances should be rephrased.
Ahhhhh, the great logical achievement of human kind; don't like it, don't read it.
Poorly written description and short desc by this I meam
first I just stated the errors and the description should be longer now for the short desc errors
first you put a capital letter at the start of every sentence and your 2nd error the 'Twiligt SPark' should be spelled like 'Twilight Sparkle' and 'pregnent' should be spelled 'pregnant'
Dude, I'm not trying to be mean, but with spelling that bad the mods will think you're being a horrible writer on purpose and remove you story. The interactive rainbowdash on my screen agrees.
Trolling isn't funny. It's very obvious you're being stupid on purpose.
obvious troll is obvious.
Do the prereader mods even look at these anymore?
Can anybody figure out why this person put his penis in a text scanner, then made it come up as this shit on the screen?
4257989
I don't know. I thought penis fit best in one's mouth.
*cough cough*
Lovely.
You know, I wouldn't want my name on this story, either.
Were you shit faced drunk while writing this?
Thumbs up because this is so bad it's funny and the comments are entertaining.
Obvious trollfic is obvious.
And this comment 4068700 has now been confirmed as being true. Congratulations, you're not only a troll but a really bad one.
Applying Occam's razor one can conclude this is all an elaborate ruse.
This person is known for writing sad, inappropriate troll fics.Look at this persons other story...although I recommend NOT to read it.
It's a serious troll fic that will put you in depression if your favorite pony Is Twilight, Dashie, an earth pony,(<<<<these are the really depressing ones...) or ANYPONY.
I'm warning you now...this person is a serious troll.Dont believe me?Ask the dishes.They can sing they can dance.After all this is France...(sorry I had to do that.)
IM WARNING YOU!!!!
Meeester wouldn't be happy.If I recall reading his page...
"Troll fics that abandon grammar..." ~ Meeesters 'Don't' List.
Well...at least this chapter used grammar.
trolls...
And I should give a fuck about making you sad because...
Obvious trollfic is obvious.
I think the proofreaders allow these stories to get passed so that we can see how not to write anything...
I don't want to be rude, I don't like to be rude, but... I mean... come on! Just, please, at least try to use proper spelling and grammar. It wouldn't hurt.
Also, this whole story is basically like:
This happened and then this happened and then this happened.
You're just telling us things. Show us things. Describe things better. Make us wonder about things. This is more of a list of events than an actual story.
And for crying out loud, please make a proper description!
I know we all have to start somewhere, but you really should put some more thought into it before posting it.
Also, "mean" comments help you get better. If you don't want to improve, then you shouldn't even try to begin with.
Hello from your resident sarcastic dick! Guess what? I'm here to tell you that this story is possibly the worst thing I've lain my eyes on since I read your first story! I could go out, beat up a bunch of puppies, put the puppies in a blender with a gallon of fairy dust, mix it with tequila, drink it all, vomit my guts out, take a picture of my vomit, and post in on instagram, and get more likes than both your stories have combined!
This is probably great news for you though, seeing as you are so obviously a troll. If not, please do not procreate! The intelligence level of our planet is dropping rapidly enough without your bloated contribution.
And this is your resident sarcastic dick, signing off from another blunt comment! See you on his next story.
If this guy isn't a troll, I will tell everyone I know, that I love the movie Food Fight!
Uhhh...ok I am array in depressed so that will not effect me but....
4259733 hahahaha
hahahahaha
You made my day buddy!
It's stories like this that make me question the moderators purpose here.
The first sentence of the story...
When you type out a story, there will be an automatic spell-checker, so if you type something wrong, the word will be underlined in red. Why don't you listen to this? It's really helpful.
It might be that you type fast, but
*Know
You don't need the "I was very confused" part, because you've already shown that in the speech text. Also, why is there two if the word "is"?
Well you can't just like keep Spike, he's a living breathing being, not some kind of toy.
Also, what does sleeping with ponies have to do with this?
There are a lot of spelling, punctuation and grammatical errors here. I highly recommend an editor and a proofreader.
It's a lot better than your first one, though. The pacing has improved a lot.
Greatest story ever. clap clap