• Published 30th Mar 2014
  • 12,147 Views, 164 Comments

Twilight Sparkle, Changeling Princess - mojomcm



Twilight Sparkle: a name often associated with magic, friendship, harmony, and most recently, ascendant princess of Equestria. Nopony, not even herself, could have thought that she would be a changeling.

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Chapter 2

Deep within the heart of the Badlands, a cavern-riddled wasteland south of Equestria, resides the Hive. This hive was no ordinary hive, for instead of housing bees or some other from of insect, the Hive's inhabitants were changelings. One changeling, the queen, stood outside the Hive watching the single road that led to where she stood. She was waiting for somepony very special, the pony who would be the saviour of her race. That pony was her long lost daughter.

Chrysalis smiled, her fangs glinting in the sun. A ring of green flame, the signature appearance of a portal, had appeared a little ways down the path. She could see three of her loyal drones carrying an unconscious alicorn mare, one she recognized from the Canterlot incident. Oh, how she wished she could hate Twilight Sparkle.

But she couldn't.

All she felt was joy, joy that Twilight was alive, and love. Love that was so vital to the changelings' nature, love that only a queen--nay, a mother--could produce. Love that would make her daughter more powerful than the sun and moon, if not all of Canterlot combined. It was no wonder that her daughter had chosen a talent in magic.

Or, that's what Chrysalis hoped.

Secretly, the queen wondered if, perhaps, Twilight had not chosen her cutie mark. That her daughter truely believed that Chrysalis was a monster. Chrysalis grimaced. What if her daughter rejected her?

Queen Chrysalis shook her head. Of course she won't reject me. I'm her mother, and that means she has to love me. Right?

Here goes nothing.


Twilight's eyes fluttered open slowly. Lifting her head, she could see what appeared to be her bedroom at the library. That can't be right, she thought. Wasn't I on a train?

Looking closer, she saw that the room had no windows, and the shelves had books that she didn't recognize, along with several she did. There was other things that were slightly off about the room, but the biggest thing that was wrong was the room's other occupant.

A single changeling drone sat at the end of Twilight's bed, a sight that caused the alicorn to shriek in fright. Twilight jumped up, and bounced a few times on the springy bed, before snorting. "Who are you? Where have you taken me? Why do you want me? And why in Equestria are you staring at me?!"

The drone cringed. "My apologies, your highness. Queen Chrysalis wished to know when you would awaken."

Twilight eyed the drone suspiciously. "Why? What does Chrysalis want with me? Revenge? My crown? Revenge?"

Shaking his head, the drone said, "You should let her tell you. She's waited almost fifteen years for this moment."

Twilight frowned. Fifteen years? She was barely fifteen herself. What could Chrysalis possibly want for as long as she had existed? She barely noticed as the drone beckoned her to follow him. Why did they try to trick me into thinking I was back at Ponyville, then prove I wasn't? Why?

Twilight rubbed her forehead, near the base of her horn. She could feel a headache comming on, and the magic ring around her horn truely didn't help. Also, the strange buzzing noise that she had heard on the train ride was back, but worse. Twilight wondered for a brief second if she was going crazy.

The drone motioned to a large door at the end of the tunnel he had led her down. Pulling it open with her hooves, Twilight Sparkle stepped inside. The first thing she saw, or even cared to notice was the tall changeling who sat on a throne at the end of the room.

"Queen Chrysalis," Twilight said with disgust, ignoreing the voice in the back of her head that said she should be more polite to the queen. "What do you want?"

Chrysalis grinned, "Come here, I want to look at you." She waved Twilight over with a holey hoof.

Twilight frowned. "Is this some sort of a trick, changeling? You can't fool me anymore. As soon as I'm able, I'm getting out of here, and you know it."

"Manners," Chrysalis tsked. "Oh, you've grown up so much! And you make for a darling little alicorn."

"Did you ponyknap me just so that you could dote on me? I have two parents at home who do enough of that. I don't need my mortal enemies doing such a thing as well." Twilight rolled her eyes.

"Did Celestia not tell you?" Chrysalis sighed. "They aren't your real parents, or birth parents as I should say. You were adopted. "

"Now, I know that's a lie. If I was adopted, don't you think somepony might've told me?" Twilight snorted. "Like they'd lie to me over something so trivial."

"But what if it wasn't?"

"Wasn't what?"

"Trivial. What if Celestia found you as an infant in a cocoon in the Hive, and took you thinking that I had fillyknapped you for your love?" Chrysalis' draconic eyes stared straight into Twilight's. The latter made no answer as Chrysalis continued. "And what if Celestia was wrong? What if you were actually a cha--"

Twilight interrupted her. "No, you're wrong. Celestia is never wrong, and she trusts me. She would tell me if I was...adopted...under abnormal circumstances. And I'm not a changeling. I think I would know if I was."

Chrysalis frowned. "For changelings, shape-shifting is as easy as thinking. You might have subconsciously shifted yourself into the form of a lavender unicorn."

"But I'm not a unicorn anymore," Twilight said, fluttering her wings. "Which means you're wrong. Still."

"Same thing. Your subconscious needed a viable excuse for Celestia's spell not taking hold, the reason being that you weren't really a unicorn, the spell's intended recipient, but a changeling."

"Where, then did the spell's magic go? It couldn't just disperse without Celestia knowing."

Chrysalis smirked, "Oh, but it did disperse. Celestia couldn't tell because the dream realm where you disappeared to was already saturated with solar and lunar magic. Such a small discharge in comparison would barely make a difference."

Twilight pouted, stumped. "B-but I can't be a changeling. I just can't."

"Don't deny who you are," Chrysalis said gently. "Besides, you aren't just any old drone. You're a princess."

Author's Note:

The whole conversation about why Twilight had to be a changeling comes from an actual conversation I have with a few of my readers.

Comments ( 78 )

4169297 Twilight's reserves are limitless... which means she never has to feed?

I mean, that's rather what 'limitless' implies.

4169629 nearly limitless. Which means she never gets too full. Living in Equestria has pretty much force-fed her 100x more love than a drone could withstand.

Keep it up! I love this fic with a pashion!

A bit fast paced but still tops to you!

So far, Chrysalis has seemed out of character, as in one can't recognize the character traits that appeared within the show. Then again, maybe she's just very fond of her daughter (although this wouldn't work if she know about Twilight being her daughter during the Wedding)

4169698 She didn't know at the time.

A little short, but it works for me. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.

>>>Such a small discharge in comparison would barely make a difference.">>>

Small discharge... the power to transform a pony into an alicorn... a SMALL discharge...

Nope. :ajbemused:

4169822 in comparison

Looking to be another good changeling Twilight fic.

The only complaints I have is that the whole alicorn explanation thing is a tad flimsy at best, that all that magic just fluttered away in the astral realm and no-one noticed.
Also that it's generally thought that all of the mane 6 are in their twenties.

The whole "Ur a changelin Twalaht Sporkle" thing seems a bit rushed, to be brutally honest. Also, do your ponies age like real horses, or is Twilight just really mature for her age?

4170788 Yeah. First it should be slown down 4 times or so if you ask me. Where are the details? Where are thoughts? Where are freacking crap which actualy makes brony literature so special? Maaaan, it's a little disapointment, the autor should rebuild chapters or get a buddy to help. Even I know how to improve this. I would write abaut the room, made the changeling some orginal scars, more focus on the tunnel and throne room. Architecture, bi*ch, huh? :eeyup:

Wonder if twi escapes from the hive. And gets to Celestia. I would realy like to read how she goes into Canterlot with changing disguises, salking, and beeing caught by an officer as a guard. I love adrenaline scenes. :trollestia:

4170399 And how much had you read?

4169698 I think she knew but she acted for the situacion and disguise.

A little fast-paced, as well as 'ignoreing', but I'll give it a fave to see where it is going.

this is alright.... i shall follow due to my love of changlings though the short chapters seem to leave much to be added. also i love these kind of stories ;)

Another cliche premise, another story to track.

Premise is fine, if not cliched, but the story itself is a bit too, "Explainy" more show, less tell :) details.

Either way this should be great

4171848

What do you mean? This story? I've read all of this story that's been posted.

Even that deleted chapter before you took it down.

Just reading the title it makes me think about how this could be an alternate universe to the fic "Celestia, the changeling queen." Because of how perfectly replicated the title structure is on this one... Just the title though.. I have yet to actually read the fic...

4173152 Oh, okay. But admit - it's too short.

Neat premise, but the writing is really dull and clumsy. No emotion in the words.

Little fast paced especially how Twilight start doubting.

This reads more like a script than a story. nothing but two talking heads. I really like the premise though!

This is...a nice concept, but unbearably fast paced. And I do mean that quite literally.

2fast-pasted4me :twilightoops: i like it but you need to lengthen it out more and slow the heck down. Otherwise... I like it.... :yay:

As I mentioned in the previous chapter, the pacing is still way too fast. Slow it down a bit, put some meat into it, fill it out. Snow us what Twilight's thinking, what she's doing. How does Chrysalis react to what Twilight says? How does Twilight act to what Chrysalis says? What of the drone, the buzzing?

There are a lot of things you could elaborate upon, things you could show us that would make it seem less fast paced. It's still a bulletpoint-sorta-story, and it's a bit of a turn-off.

The idea for this story is fantastic and one I would love to read, but as it stands it's just going way too fast. I'll keep an eye on it, but you won't get a fave or like just yet. You'll have to do a bit more to earn those.

Celestia is too OOC. :trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

Great job though :rainbowkiss:

congrats! This got most popular! keep it up!

A most excellent story. The Prince commends your skills and work.
:ajsmug::pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss::raritywink::twilightsmile::yay:

I love the concept, and can't wait for more!

AH! More please! If it isn't too much trouble...

Okay seriously... you have written the chapter very effectively. Leaving them right at the point where I want to read more but can not due to the fact that there is no more... so more please?

This is interesting, but you need to add more actions with the talking. Otherwise, it is pretty darn good.

DUN - DUN - DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN

Slow down. Just really, Slow down.
You need to.
Add exposition, exposition, exposition.
Slow down
Give more description, description description.

Once again, the whole chapter's too rushed. Chrysalis is OOC, and Twilight believing anything Chrysalis has to say seems pretty OOC too. You'd be better off having Chrysalis, I don't know, break the shapeshifting spell you're saying Twilight is running subconsciously, and then put Twilight in front of a mirror. Or a pool, or anything reflective that Twilight would buy Chrysalis can't fake.

I said this when I commented on the prologue, and I'll say it again - this premise has been done before, repeatedly, and it's been done a lot better than you've shown so far. What's the hook? What's meant to make us read this particular 'Twilight's a changling' story that we haven't read before? What's the plot point that's going to make your story stand out? You seem to be pushing this 'Twilight's stuffed full of love from living in Equestria in a loving social environment her whole life' thing; similar things have been done before, but not quite this, and you could work with that. Why is Chrysalis trying to re-establish contact now, after 15 years? What does she plan for Twilight? What is Celestia going to do if she finds out Twilight's a bug, and crammed full of delicious pony love to boot? I hope that's the sort of thing you're already considering.

And having Twilight as only 15? That's really quite odd by fanon standards, though pony maturation isn't obligated to follow human maturation, I suppose. I'll just assume you're writing 15 as a distinctly more mature age for ponies than humans, because a pony equivalent to a 15-year-old human going on a delicate diplomatic mission would be really dumb.

(Okay, a break from the griping. At least you take the time to spell and punctuate properly - thankyou for that.)

4186603 I know that now; only the first chapter had been posted when I did.

Which means it's rather silly. She got it as a reflex... or something... yeahhh..

It seems intriguing, so I'll follow this story till I can get a go read on it.

Well you are running with some writer freedoms here, but it's not that bad. I'm interested to see where it will go and I overall like the idea.

No offence, but that was a bit fast. I expected chrysalis to be a little more subtle.

I will read further when more chapters come out, because I want to know more

love the story can't waite to read more of it. :twilightsmile:

The drone cringed. "My apologies, your highness. Queen Chrysalis wished to know when you would awaken."

Your Highness should be capitalized. Just saying.

"Don't deny who you are," Chrysalis said gently. "Besides, you aren't just any old drone. You're a princess."

It always annoyed me in my story since I never knew do I should capitalize "princess" or not, but I think that this one should be capitalized, though no lose if it is not.

4470090 Thank you. When I get around to re-editing this, I will fix those.

it figues. see a story i could like and it's on hiatus:twilightangry2:

4470090
I think princess is only suppose to be capitalized if it's used as a name or title, like "Princess Celestia" or "Princess of Magic".

I hope there is more soon love this story

4470571
*Pokes story with stick*

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