Chapter 1
Twilight Sparkle stood silently in front of the gates to Canterlot Castle. It was strange, that less than a month had passed since she was just a "regular old unicorn", to quote her much younger self, and now was a princess. She was no longer the part of the faithful student to Celestia, but her equal, a fact that never seemed to grow old.
She took a deep breath and stepped inside. Even though the castle was the same, and had been for almost a thousand years, the colors seemed brighter today. It was almost as if the world was smiling down on Twilight, and everything was most certainly fine.
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" a familiar voice asked. "We don't really see much of you in Canterlot nowadays."
Twilight sighed, "Discord? Where are you?"
The draconequus chuckled from his hiding place within Twilight's ear. "It's nice to see you, too, princess."
"I'm kinda busy right now," Twilight said as she trotted through the halls. "Can this wait?"
"Hmm..." Discord climbed up to the lavender alicorn's horn and stared down at her. "It can, but I don't think it will."
"What in Equestria are you talking about?"
Popping back to his original size, Discord gerked his thumb over his shoulder. "'Tia's been looking for you all morning. Some sort of 'diplomatic mission' or something. I kinda tuned her out once she started talking about politics." With that, he leaped into one of the stained glass windows and slithered away.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Alright, then." Her hooves made muffled clicks on the carpet as Twilight wandered about, looking for Celestia. She soon found the sun princess on the Solar Tower balcony. "You wanted to see me?"
Princess Celestia nodded without facing Twilight. "Yes. There have been some small riots in lower Zebrica, which is one of Equestria's top export countries."
"You want me to go check it out? Why?"
"You have yet to learn what all being a princess entails, and this is just the sort of thing that will help you," Celestia answered, glancing at Twilight Sparkle. "And you're the only princess availible right now."
Twilight nodded slowly, "I think I can do that. I won't let you down."
Celestia smiled and nuzzled the younger princess. "I know you won't."
Twilight waved to her friends as her train departed from Ponyville. Instead of heading to Zebrica direcly, she had stopped at her home to finish packing and to tell her friends good-bye.
"We'll miss you!" her friends called out. Pinkie Pie still had streamers in her hair from the I-know-you've-gotta-leave-now-but-this-will-be-a-super-duper-fast-going-away-party party. "Don't forget to write!"
The lavender princess smiled as she watched her friends seemingly shrink as the train moved farther and farther away. Once she could no longer see them, Twilight turned back around to the book she had brought to read during the trip. Her last thought before diving into the world of literature was that this was going to be a long ride.
Unknown to Twilight Sparkle, three ponies who were not planing on a trip to Zebrica had been following the princess almost all day. They needed to know if she was the one they were looking for.
<Ugh. I've read that book, and the ending totally sucks.> The brown-coated stallion snorted. <She's gonna be so disappionted.>
<Stay focused.> A mint green unicorn mare two rows behind him rolled her eyes. <You don't want her to get involved, do you?>
On the other side of the train car, a white mare adjusted her dark purple sunglasses. <No, and you really don't want her involved if we botch this mission. Can't you guys keep the line clear for even a little while?>
<No.> <Yes!>
The white mare, a unicorn whom we shall call "DJ Pon-3" snorted. She was the pony in charge, and the other two, "Dr. Whooves" and "Lyra", were little more than assistants. As to what they were assisting, some ponies might call it "treason". These ponies called it "strategic revealing of the crown's secrets, working title."
DJ sighed as the others continued to argue, effectively ignoreing her order. This was going to be a long trip.
Twilight glanced up from her book, confused. She thought she had heard something buzzing just out of her hearing.
The princess flicked her ear. "Did somepony say something?"
One of the other ponies across the aisle of the train car shoook her head. Out of the corner of her eye, Twilight saw two ponies glance at each other worriedly, but ignored it in favor of her book.
She soon felt the tingling sensation of magic, and heard somepony scream as the world went dark. Twilight tried to pry the hooves off of her eyes, but was quickly restrained by more legs. She could feel something cold and hard slipping around her horn, which she guessed to be a magic draining ring, futher proven once Twilight attempted to teleport away. Oddly enough, it felt like hardened cocoon-goo, rather than the enchnted steel that made Equestrian rings.
A hissing voice, one identifying her attackers to be undisguised changelings, said smoothly, "Relax, princess. You're going home." as they traveled through a portal, coutesy of the changelings themselves.
Twilight's last thought before entering a magic-enduced sleep was that she hoped Chrysalis wasn't out for revenge.
Celestia stared at the messenger in front of her. The stout pegasus stallion had just flown to Canterlot to tell her, and her only, of the reported ponyknapping.
Twilight's ponyknapping.
"And you are absolutely, positively, without-a-doubt certain of this?" The princess asked, brushing her hoof on the carpeted floor nervously, hoping against hope that perhaps the pegasus was wrong.
He nodded his head, "Yes, ma'am. I saw it with my own eyes. Three changelings came out of nowhere and zapped Princess Twilight Sparkle into who-knows-where. I'm sorry I couldn't do more to get her back."
Celestia smiled as the stallion turned to fly away. "You've done plenty. Thank you." He nodded and took off. "I wish I could have done more."
Princess Celestia could remember the first time she had seen the lavender unicorn whom she had come to love. It was about fifteen years prior, after the changelings' first attack on Equestria in centuries.
Queen Chrysalis had made a name for herself, draining ponies of their love until they were no more than burned out husks, then slaughtering them once they were of no more use to her. It was a horrible, horrible way to end.
After one such an attack, Celestia herself went to go investigate, and if need, punish the changelings. She imagined that her sister, Luna, would like some company should it have to come to that. But it never did.
Inside the changelings' Hive, she had found one of the victims that the bugs had taken home to continue feeding off of, a tiny lavender filly no more than a few weeks old. This was Twilight Sparkle.
Upon returning to Canterlot, Celestia was able to quickly find a home for the foal under the care of Night Light and Twilight Velvet, two graduates of her school for gifted unicorns. They already had a son, who would eventually grow up to be the captain of the Royal Guard. All they needed was a daughter to complete their near-perfect lives.
It was completely a coincidence that the same filly would become Celestia's personal student, a pony whom the princess had loved from the beginning. Celestia only hoped that Twilight would be safe wherever the changelings had taken her.
Stats
Page generated in 0.027 seconds
Total duration
883 users online
1,315,138 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Oh, boy! Another chapter!
Also, before I got onto this chapter, you deleted the prologue. Why?
I can see why you changed it and I have to say, although it is interesting and shorter, I liked the way you had it but this is equally good keep it up
I've always assumed that there was a reason that changelings didn't just do the thing they do in most fanfics and find a way to integrate with pony society. Either they're mostly (excluding key figures) like wild creatures who have a different set of morals, or they benefit much more from exploiting and misleading ponies than co-existing peacefully and the only changelings that are caught are the malign ones, or something else.
4163643 I haven't deleted it, just hidden it from public eyes. The material absorbed into the first chapter, and Celestia was so OOC that nearly all of my readers commented on it
.
I love changeling Twilight stories. Hope to read more soon.
Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
According to the deleted chapter, Twilight would have been seen by Chryssi as a filly. Would the queen not recognize her during the failed attempt at taking Canterlot? She had ample time to observe Twilight. Even if she did not act, surely something would have happened in the preceding year. Also, are we to believe that changeling physiology is compatible enough with ponies that one could get alicornified and only their disguise would change?
I kind of like this chapter better than the last, the pacing seems better even though its shorter.
4164311 In this headcanon, Twilight would have subconscienciously changed her disguise to have wings at the prompting of Celestia's spell, which would have otherwise failed due to Twilight not actually being a unicorn, the spell's intended recipient. Twilight does not realize this, because she was an infant when she was last in her changeling form, and was able to continuously upheld her disguise throught 15 years (also subconscienciously) because of the massive amounts of love she has recieved.
Chrysalis did not recognize Twi because she believes her daughter dead, if not after Celestia first took her, then after the wedding incident. The queen doesn't know that Twi was able to maintain her form for so long.
ill be watching you
Joyfulness abounds.
This chapter has done an excellent job of capturing interest. How long have Doctor Whooves, Lyra, and DJ Pon-3 been changelings/replaced with changelings? They did show up at the real wedding after the changeling army got blasted out... (although if they were changelings all along, there's been a dozen different explanations for why a given changeling might not have been effected). Are Derpy, Bon Bon, and Octavia paired with their respective common counterparts? Their relations with their secret changeling partner would be... interesting, although maybe not all that relavent.
I do wonder, though... did Chrysalis cause the riots in Zebrica, or did she take advantage of the nation's troubles for the foalnapping?
Wait... I spent Celestia knows how long writing that critique, bordering on essay, of the prologue... AND YOU DELETED THE PROLOGUE, THUS RENDERING MY CRITIQUE USELESS!?!?!
mlpchan.net/anon/src/1396051145080.gif
Just messing with you.
I have to say, this looks MUCH better than the prologue. And I see you took my advice on expanding upon what all exactly the changeling attacks entailed. Celestia's anger from the old prologue seems A LOT MORE justified now.
I'm eager to see where this goes. Also, I'd be willing to be your editor. If you need me, just give me a BUZZ. (Get it? Cuz, the story is about changelings? And... their wings... buzzing.........
I'll shut up now)
4164549
Was there some sort of energy pointed at Twi during the alicornification? If so, where did it go if Twi did not absorb it?
Sry, dude, forgot to fav
4165688 It...dispersed? It was unable to take hold in Twi's body, and sorta dissipated.
4165404 Chryssalis takes advantage of Twilight being away from a large group of other ponies.
Also, I do not pair Bonbon & Lyra, or DJ Pon-3 & Octavia as any more than BFF's.
4166782
I guess I would have thought a dispersion of magic like that would have been detectable to Celestia. Anyways, carry on; I sometimes like delving too deeply into world building too make sure certain things remain consistent.
4164311 None of the 'Member of Mane 6 is a Changeling' stories seem to realize that inconvenient little fact.
Chrysalis would have known, unless the changeling was from another hive AND it is somewhere stated that only changelings of the same hive/under the same queen can automatically detect one another.
Internal continuity must be observed!
4166905 I would think the rejection of the Elements' magic would have been rather... dramatic.
Instead, it very conveniently disappears without a fuss.
4165407 Your critique was not useless, in fact, it was very helpful in making the story the way it is now.
4169195 The reasons for Chrysalis not recognizing Twi at the wedding will be shown in the next chapter.
4169199 Not the Element's magic, Celestia's magic. It would be unnoticed because the sparkly alicorn realm is already saturated with Celestia's magic.
>>>She could feel something cold and hard slipping around her horn, which she guessed to be a magic restraining ring>>>
Please people, stop with the damned magical restraining rings. They are not a catch-all cover. Especially when dealing with Twilight, who must still be the most powerful unicorn/changeling Celestia has ever seen, or else it would have been rather obvious that she was not the same unicorn Celestia knew.
Which of course then brings up the little problem of Twilight's cutie mark story. Had she been a changeling and lost control of her power like that... dear me, that wouldn't have gone over well. And would she have then gotten a cutie mark?
Or did Celestia rescue the real Twilight, only to have her snatched AGAIN after the Cutie Mark thing... but then how would Twilight have remembered it... and why would the Elements have chosen a false replacement...
Nope, the logic ain't working.
4169222 Extra special magic restraining ring made for changelings out of cocoon-goo.
4169222 Twilight has always and forever been a changeling. During the day she got her cutie mark, she tapped into her love reserves for the first time, which caused the magic overload. Her cutie mark appeared as a result of her subconscious demanding a logical explaination for the event. Tia chalked it up to Twi being a powerful unicorn with near-unlimited potential.
Twilight was chosen to be the Element of Magic because her love, and therefore magic, reserves were basicly bottomless. That, and the Elements come from a tree in the Everfree. Who knows why they do what they do.
Interesting idea, and one I will follow.
There is, however, one major problem that needs to be pointed out...
The pacing.
It goes a hundred kilometres an hour, constantly. This chapter alone could have easily have been five thousand words long. It feels like there's almost no build-up to anything. It's almost as if you made a story via bullet points. Thing 1 happens, then Thing 2, then Thing 3... You need to work a bit on this, and not just make it a one-two-three kinda thing where stuff just happens. Make it flow from one thing into another
4166782
I also find it equally likely that, being the Element of Magic, the energy from the failed spell would have simply been absorbed into here magical reserves. As an added bonus, it would explain how her disguise magic knew exactly what the spell was meant to make her look like.
4169297
What was the tree thinking? Easy enough. If Changelings are the b@574rd descendents of the Flutterponies/Glimmerwing (not Breezies, although those freaky things may be a different offshoot), that would mean that Changelings are in fact a (very messed up) breed of Pony. As such, Twi was just as eligible for wielding one of the Elements as anypony else.
available
4169222 this IS the real twilight.
4169195 You forget something, the "hive mind" is fanon. The show never confirmed its existence, so an author can alter it however they want.
This is better than the prologue from before, but you're still rushing way too much. Wedging in the prologue's info as exposition comes off as clunky, too.
Well, that's an interesting alternate on how celestia first learns of twilight.
Though, why was she in the form of a pony in the hive if she's a changeling princess? That I don't quite get.
However, I did find it humorous that the changelings took Lyra, vinyl and doctor whooves identities. That made me chcukle
I first thought this said, "You have Princess entrails."