Unlikely Allies
“Morning in Ponyville shimmers~!” sang Twilight Sparkle, as she exited the Golden Oaks library, as the sun shone down over the small town. “Morning in Ponyville shi~ines! And I know for absolute certain, that everything will be-hurk!” As Twilight was about to finish her verse, she was abruptly cut off by a streak of blue tackling her, and pinning her to the ground.
“Sparkle,” said the mare above her, “Trixie needs you to come with her to save Equestria. Not that The Great and Powerful Trixie can’t handle it by herself, naturally, but she recognises that Sparkle does have some talent to her.” And without even waiting for Twilight to acknowledge what Trixie had said, the blue magician began to stride off, her mouth clamped around Twilight’s tail, pulling the newest Alicorn of Equestria along with her.
Taken aback by Trixie’s abrupt introduction and disruption of her musical performance, Twilight didn’t even think about trying to escape from Trixie’s grip until the two were nearly out of the town limits, and Twilight had to silently marvel at Trixie’s physical prowess. Evidently, working as a travelling performer had kept Trixie in decent shape. Twilight did manage to scramble to her hooves, and pull her tail from Trixie’s mouth.
“Would you mind explaining what the hay you are doing, Trixie?”
“Trixie thought that she made it perfectly clear. Not Trixie’s fault that you can’t hear, Sparkle. Trixie, regrettably, needs your help, Sparkle. Make no mistake, if Trixie could do this on her own, Trixie would, but she finds that she needs more brute force than anticipated.”
“Brute force...hey! Are you calling me a brickhorn?”
“Maybe Trixie is, maybe Trixie isn’t. Are you coming or not, Sparkle?”
“I don’t know," mused Twilight, "maybe I had things to do this week, Trixie!”
“Trixie checked with the pink abomination. You have nothing planned for this entire week.” Twilight muttered several unsavoury words under her breath, and then nodded.
“Fine, I’ll go with you, Trixie,” she said, gritting her teeth.
*****
“Put this on,” demanded Trixie, magically tossing a plain blue cape made from the same material as Trixie’s into Twilight’s face.
“Look, Trixie, just because I agreed to help you doesn’t mean that you get to dictate everything I do. We’ve been travelling for three days, and you still haven’t told me what this ‘oh so important thing’ you need my help with actually is!”
“Trixie told you, Sparkle. Trixie is attempting to prevent the destruction of Equestria, and it needs two competent unicorns to pull off. Now, as Trixie is here, she is one such unicorn, and Trixie supposes that you can count as a second.”
“Have you forgotten all about the two times you came to Ponyville and I had to save you? Once from an Ursa Minor,” said Twilight, with no small amount of glee in her voice, “and once from yourself. I think I’ve proven myself to you enough.”
Trixie gritted her teeth.
“Trixie thinks that Sparkle does not understand the meaning of the word subtlety. If this is to work, Trixie will need Sparkle to not be recognised as an alicorn. Besides,” said Trixie, relaxing slightly “Didn’t one of your backwater friends teach you a lesson about listening to the expert?”
“I hardly think that you count as an expert in...Whatever we’re doing,” fired back Twilight.
“Trixie is very well acquainted with sneaking into heavily fortified places, thank you very much.” Twilight frowned, but tied the cloak around her neck all the same, concealing her wings. Trixie looked Twilight up and down for a few minutes, before sighing.
“Trixie supposes that will have to do. Come, Sparkle. The fate of Equestria rests in our hooves. But mostly Trixie’s,” Twilight rolled her eyes, but trotted after Trixie all the same, though not before sending a message back to Spike in the library.
‘Gone to save Equestria with Trixie. Also gone to save Equestria from Trixie. Be back next week. Twilight Sparkle.’
******
Twilight and Trixie stared up at the building in front of them.
“Well, it’s certainly...imposing,” said Twilight.
“Hrmph. Trixie thinks it is compensating for something,” she said, giving a side glance at Twilight, “Much like her companion.”
“I will have you know that I broke the magical measuring device when I was just a filly, Trixie! I have plenty of magical power.”
“Trixie knows. Trixie thinks that’s what you’re compensating with, brickhorn. Now come on, we need to get inside the Fortress of Darkness,” said Trixie, motioning her hoof towards the dark stone castle standing before the two, and Twilight Sparkle couldn’t help but let out a giggle.
“The Fortress of Darkness? Who names things like that?”
“Lord Umbra, probably, given that it’s his castle. Did not Trixie explain this to you, or did it simply slip past you when you were confronted with The Great and Powerful Trixie’s greatness and powerfulness?”
“No, you neglected to mention it at all, oh Forgetful and Clumsy Trixie,” said Twilight. Trixie ignored the jab.
“Come on, Sparkle, we need to get inside. The quicker that we can resolve this, the sooner Trixie can go back to plotting Twilight Sparkle’s defeat.”
“Sure, Trixie,” said Twilight, her horn lighting up, and the alicorn faded out of sight. “Invisibility spell. It should keep me undetected for at least a few hours while we do...whatever it is we have to do. You still haven’t explained that, Trixie. And how are you going to get in, anyway?”
“Like this,” said Trixie, beginning to head around to the side of the castle, and quickly located the drainage pipe. Casting a basic ‘Repel Dirt’ spell on herself, Trixie began the long climb through the pipes, Twilight following invisibly, her invisible hooves still making noise as the two sloshed through the plumbing.
“You know, Trixie,” said Twilight’s disembodied voice, “If you actually started studying real magic, we could have both cast the invisibility spell, and just walked right in.”
“There are other ways of being invisible, Sparkle,” shot back Trixie.
“And I suppose you’re as familiar with them as you are, say, breaking into ponies’ houses and breaking the law?”
“The Great and Powerful Trixie never technically committed a crime, Sparkle. She was simply very persuasive.”
“Great. The closest thing I have to an intellectual equal, and she’s a con mare with itchy hooves,” muttered Twilight Sparkle, “how did you even get into Celestia’s school in the first place? They don’t accept anypony with a previous criminal record.”
“Sparkle, that implies that Trixie ever got caught,” said Trixie with a grin, and casting a beam of light out from her horn to survey the pair’s surroundings, before consulting a roughly drawn map.
“Is that drawn on a napkin, Trixie?”
“So what if it is? It was all Trixie had at the time!”
“I suddenly feel less optimistic about our chances of doing this.”
As a reply, Trixie telekinetically grabbed a ball of water from beneath her hooves and threw it at where she thought Twilight was, and was rewarded with the ball of water plashing over a purple dome that materialised out of nowhere. Except that the dome was not centred over Twilight, Trixie realised too late, but over Trixie herself.
“Stupid Sparkle,” Trixie managed to mutter moments before her ball of stale water splashed back over her. Shaking herself off, Trixie stalked off, and moments later, she heard the splash of Twilight’s hooves following her, and the two managed to travel in silence for all of about five minutes.
“I still think that you’re going to get us caught in...whatever this is, Trixie. You don’t even have a basic ‘Don’t Notice Me’ spell on you!”
“Trixie has done this before, Sparkle.”
“Yes, illegally,” said Twilight, and Trixie sighed. Evidently Twilight was not going to be letting go of Trixie’s other skill set so lightly. Trixie, in true showmareship, distracted Twilight and redirected the conversation.
“At least I have previous skills that are applicable to this situation, Sparkle. Have you never had to creep into a villain’s hideout to disable his evil master plan before, brickhorn?”
“Have you?”
“Well, no, but Trixie sees that she at least has skills which can be applied to the situation. All you have is magic.”
“Magic is perfectly applicable to any situation. All it takes is the right spell, and all problems are solved, unlike your fake stage magic!”
“Trixie performs great feats of magic on stage combined with clever sleight of hoof tricks!”
“Yes, because Levitation is such a fantastic skill that nopony with a horn knows!”
Trixie made a note to herself. Twilight had evidently developed a sense of snark and sarcasm. And she got touchy when magic was mentioned. Trixie grinned, and decided to press that button a bit more. She knew that she really shouldn’t be pushing Twilight this much, especially now, but it was just so much fun.
“Trixie provides what ponies need: an idol, somepony to look up to, not a coward too afraid to use her own magic to its fullest potential.”
Of course, it was right then that the pipes the two ponies were in rumbled.
“That...didn’t sound good,” said Twilight, her voice coming from just behind Trixie.
“No,” agreed Trixie, “it didn’t.” The two turned to face the direction they thought the rumbling was coming from, and were promptly hit from behind by a literal wall of water. They were swept away, eventually coming up against a solid grate, which allowed the water to flow through unimpeded, while Trixie slammed hard up against it, legs splayed. A second later, Twilight smashed into her back, and Trixie learned a very important fact.
‘Huh,’ she thought, ‘Who knew alicorns weigh a lot more than normal ponies?’
A second later, because of the immense volume of water slamming into both the two ponies and not being able to go anywhere for a second or two, the grate gave way, tumbling outwards, following the curve of the water, and slammed down onto the floor below. Twilight and Trixie rolled out of the way of the stream of water slamming down on them, spluttering and hacking up water. Trixie managed to stand up first, and produced a goldfish from behind her ear.
“How in Equestria did that get there?” she muttered, before tossing the fish in the direction of the drain in the floor, and finally taking stock of her surroundings. She was standing in the corner of a large open courtyard, likely the central one of the entire Fortress of Darkness, and around her, Trixie could see beasts, twice as tall as herself, beginning to turn towards where Trixie and Twilight had crashed down.
“Sparkle, your invisibility spell might help now...” muttered Trixie, backing up.
“Finally decided that...oh. Right,” said Twilight, as she realised their situation, and as much as Trixie annoyed her, Twilight still counted her as something of a friend, and cast the invisibility spell on Trixie. She followed this up with a second spell that would allow the two of them to converse freely without being overheard.
“Well, now we should be safe. I’ve cast a spell that should make us inaudible to all of these...things. Trixie, what are these anyway? They look like...” Twilight paused for a minute to try and find an accurate descriptor in her head, “they look like demonic griffons, really.” Indeed, the creatures stalking around the courtyard were a combination of lion, eagle and what looked like a wolf for a head, with red eyes that glowed like hot metal pulled form a fire, and this glow was evident all down the creature’s bodies, seemingly tracing along the surface veins, making it seem like the creatures had been glued together with magic, rather than being one single entity.
“Nice and easy,” muttered Twilight Sparkle, as the two magicians crept through the courtyard as fast as they dared, avoiding the long tails of the creatures.
“Trixie is the epitome of grace, Sparkle,” said Trixie, avoiding another whipping tail, and squeezing under a pair of the demonic griffons. The two had made it to the centre of the courtyard by now, and could see the pair of ominous doors that lead into the fortress proper at the other end.
“Half way there,” sighed Twilight Sparkle, “it’s all downhill from here.” She muttered, an old studying trick that Twilight had picked up - if you told yourself that it was only going to get easier from a certain point, you could actually kid yourself into believing it.
Naturally, Twilight’s spells chose that exact moment to fizzle into nothingness. The two froze, and all at once, every single demonic griffon-wolf monster in the courtyard turned to face them, and Twilight gulped.
“Um...Hello?” she said, and Trixie slapped a hoof to her face.
*****
Lord Umbra, as he insisted his minions call him, was a unicorn of some skill, fed up with the utterly boring and peaceful reign of Celestia, and the return of Luna, the announcement of Cadence and the Coronation of Twilight Sparkle had finally pushed the stallion over the edge, and he had put into motion his dastardly plans. Years of research had gone into this scheme. Learning how to read Tartaric Script, finding obscure books about Tartarus itself, the research of which was strongly discouraged, and building his Fortress of Darkness, which was utterly impenetrable to any would-be invaders.
It should be noted at this point that Lord Umbra is a bit delusional.
As the unicorn groomed his mane, and mentally drafted his letter declaring his intent to take over Equestria, there was a knock at his door.
“Yes?” he hissed, in what he thought was a suitably intimidating manner. The pony entered, shaking with what was undoubtedly fear at his terrifying visage and dominating presence.
“Lord Umbra,” began the pony with a stutter, “we seem to have a problem. It seems that two unicorns have managed to infiltrate the Fortress of Darkness.”
“What?” roared Lord Umbra, standing up and turning away from his mirror, “What are they doing?”
“My lord, they appear to be fighting off your Fortress guards in the central courtyard,” the pony paused to gather his breath, “And they appear to be winning.”
“How dare they!” yelled Lord Umbra, striding across his room, past the messenger, and headed for the balcony that overlooked the courtyard, “My Fortress guards are unbeatable, and how did they even discover this place? I have not even declared my intent to conquer Equestria yet. Celestia must be more cunning than I thought to have discovered me so quickly.”
The messenger stayed behind for a moment, tears leaking out of his eyes as he desperately tried to stop laughing. The top of Lord Umbra’s horn had barely come up to the top of the messenger’s shoulders, and the diminutive self-styled Lord of Darkness was bright pink. He might have been evil, but it was so hard to take him seriously.
“Minion, I need the Box of Darkness!”
“Right away, My Lord!” called the messenger, hurrying after Lord Umbra.
Picking up the aforementioned Box of Darkness, the messenger hurried out to the balcony, and placed it down in front of Lord Umbra, who stepped onto it, and looked out over his courtyard.
“You take that back! Starswirl the Bearded was a fantastic mage, who founded modern magic study as we know it!”
“Please, he was a crotchety old stallion who was good at inventing spells, not really a spellweaver himself. All of ‘his’ spells were tested and cast by Clover the Clever. Trixie has read the ‘Letters of Starswirl’, you know.”
Sure enough, Lord Umbra could see the two unicorns down in the centre of his Courtyard of Doom. One was blue, and one was purple, and both were wearing cloaks, though the blue one was also wearing a hat, and her cloak was decorated with stars and sparkles. As Lord Umbra watched, the purple one fired off a beam of magic that slammed one of his Beasts of Darkness, summoned directly from Tartarus, half way across the courtyard and into a wall hard enough to crack the stone.
“Clover the Clever was a good spellweaver in her own right, I will give you that, but she never advanced the study of magic forward like her teacher did. Starswirl was unparalleled in the field of magical research,” said the purple one, facing the blue unicorn. The blue one rolled her eyes and entire head.
“Trixie thinks you are far too focused on ancient history to appreciate the greats of the last thousand years. Trixie has always been a fan of False Perception,” said the blue unicorn, pausing to fire a beam of pink magic at a beast that was coming up behind her companion, and forcing it down onto the floor, where it stayed. “Trixie finds her work on illusion structures particularly fascinating.”
“Wasn’t False Perception also accused of using her illusions to bewitch rich stallions and robbing them?” shot back Purple, with a blast of ice that froze several of Lord Umbra’s beasts solid.
“Trixie never said she agreed with how False Perception used her illusions, just that they are worthy of respect,” replied Trixie, as the Blue unicorn’s name seemed to be, as she twisted around, blasting several of his Beasts of Darkness with a spell that spun each of them around, leaving the beasts too dizzy to be of any use.
“Yes, I can see how you would be drawn to that.”
“Really? Trixie cannot believe that you are so fixated on that one aspect of Trixie’s past. And for the record, bookworm, Trixie has never used her magic to assist in those kinds of activities. That was all natural talent.”
As the two unicorns kept on arguing, Lord Umbra grew more and more incensed.
“Why aren’t they worried? They should be cowering in fear at the might of my summoned forces!” declared Lord Umbra, “Minion! Go release the more powerful monsters!”
“At once, My Lord,” said the other pony, heading back inside the fortress.
“We shall see how long your flippant attitudes prevail against some of the nastier things that Tartarus can produce,” chuckled the vertically-challenged Future Overlord of Equestria.
*****
“Bookworm!” called Trixie.
“Show-off!” yelled Twilight, finally descending to Trixie’s level.
“Brickhorn!”
“Narcissist!”
“One trick pony!”
“Liar!” With each name called, Twilight or Trixie fired off a spell form their horns, incapacitating another of the many monsters that were still rushing into the courtyard. Twilight Sparkle pondered this for a moment in a brief respite while her mouth implied Trixie’s mother was a goat. Where were all these monsters coming from, anyway? Then she felt the ground shake, and by pure instinct raised a shield, which blocked most of the rubble form the explosion. She and Trixie both broke off their argument for a few seconds as they watched a giant monster scrabble and claw its way out of the new hole in the wall.
“What,” said Trixie, while Twilight just went wide-eyed. The monster was as tall as the castle, and resembled something like Cerberus crossed with that worm that she and Cadence had encountered on their ‘adventure’ with Discord.
“Trixie still thinks that whoever this ‘Lord Umbra’ is, they are definitely compensating for something.”
Twilight’s reply was cut off by a garbled scream from a balcony on the opposite side to where the two had burst through the pipe, and both Twilight and Trixie looked up to see a unicorn stallion with a dark pink mane and bright pink coat.
“Why are you two not cowering in terror? This is the most fearsome beast I have, and it will surely be your demise! You will rue the day that you crossed Lord Umbra!”
As the pink Overlord Hopeful finished his declaration, the beast charged. Twilight and Trixie leapt into action, diving to the sides, and summoning the most powerful magic they could muster at the time. A sleep spell and a freeze spell slammed into the three headed worm dog, encasing it in a giant block of ice, and another strangled scream rang out.
“FINE! I shall take care of this MYSELF!” bellowed the stallion, and his horn pulsed a bright, almost painful, pink. Depleted by the high intensity magic use of the fights, neither Trixie or Twilight could manage to overcome the rather powerful knock-out spell, and their vision faded to black, the last thing they heard being Lord Umbra’s maniacal laughter echoing around the courtyard.
*****
Twilight Sparkle came to in a dark, dank room, a chain binding to her wall, and her borrowed cloak still around her body, surprisingly. A glance over to her left told Twilight that Trixie was in a similar situation, and was awake. Trixie’s eyes were scrunched up, as if the unicorn out of them was trying to summon her magic.
“Trixie thinks that she may have underestimated Lord Umbra as a threat. He has blocked Trixie’s magic.”
Twilight saw the golden ring sitting around the base of Trixie’s horn, and pointed it out.
“Magic suppressor, Trixie,” said Twilight, her own hooves going up to feel her horn. “And he’s got one on me, too. Well, so much for this plan.” Without thinking, Twilight gave the chain binding her to the wall a magical jerk, and Trixie’s eyes went wide.
“Sparkle. You just did magic. With a magic suppressor on your horn. Perhaps you are not as useless as Trixie thought...of course!” Trixie crowed, “With that cloak on, Lord Umbritches didn’t know you were an alicorn, and only gave you a suppressor meant for a unicorn. Truly, Trixie is wise to have thought to disguise you beforehoof.”
Twilight simply rolled her eyes. Trixie was never going to let this go, now.
“Great. Now is there something that we can do to get out of here?”
“Try and remove Trixie’s suppressor.” Twilight’s horn sparked to life, though not nearly with as much energy as normal, and a glow appeared around Trixie’s horn ring. After a few minutes, Twilight gave up.
“I can’t remove them. They must be keyed in so that the only way to remove them is to get the pony who put them on to take them off.”
Trixie pouted, but then brightened, and pulled her hat from her head. After fiddling with it for a minute, Trixie held out a pair of objects.
“Here, Sparkle. Lock picks. Use them to pick the locks on these chains, and then we can see about getting these stupid horn-rings off.”
“And you just happened to have them on you, Trixie?”
“Trixie believes in being prepared, Sparkle. This is not the first time that Trixie has been locked up.”
“I’ll bet it isn’t.”
“And whose fault is it that we’re here in the first place? If your spell hadn’t failed,” said Trixie, as Twilight levitated the set of lock picks and began to use them on Trixie’s chain, “we wouldn’t have been captured. Trixie has to wonder if you have ever not messed up a spell.”
“Just because I have more power than you, Trixie, doesn’t automatically mean I have less control over my magic, you know. I’ve cast plenty of successful spells.”
“And yet, all the important ones seem to fail. Trixie wonders if Sparkle’s victories over Trixie in the two magic duels were simply flukes.”
By now, Twilight had managed to unlock Trixie’s chain, and the showmare stood up, getting feeling back into her legs while Twilight worked on her own chain lock.
Trixie sat back down, and pushed her hooves up against the magical inhibitor sitting on her horn, trying to push it off.
“I told you, Trixie, the only way to get them off is to find whoever put them on, and get them to take them off,” said Twilight, her expression brightening as with a click, her own chain was unlocked, and the alicorn moved over to the door. A few minutes later, and after breaking a lock pick or two on the more complicated door mechanism, Twilight had unlocked the door to the two’s cell, and levitated the lock pick kit back to Trixie, who simply glared at Twilight, before sighing.
“You owe Trixie a new set of lock picks. Now come on, Trixie wants to get this thing off her horn.” The two began to make their way out of the bottom floors of the Fortress of Darkness, with Twilight taking the lead, much to Trixie’s regret, but Twilight was the only one out of the two of them with magic right now.
“Bet you’re glad for Trixie’s other skills now, aren’t you, Sparkle?”
Twilight paused mid-stride. Trixie, as annoying as it was, had a point.
“Fine, I’ll admit it, it did come in useful. I still think that it’s wrong that you did things like that, but it was useful,” said Twilight, as Trixie celebrated her victory over Twilight in the verbal war, “But just this once, Trixie.”
Trixie was too far gone in her elation at having got one over Twilight Sparkle to notice the addendum, and was only reigned by Twilight pulling on her tail, stopping her from walking straight past another of those wolf-griffon monsters.
“Watch it, Trixie! Neither of us has real access to our magic right now, and I don’t want us to get into another fight.”
*****
By sneaking around, a few carefully applied sleep spells, some more helpful tips from that Trixie had picked up at some point in her past, and much more gloating from Trixie, the two managed to find their way to where Lord Umbra was supposed to be resting.
Carefully creaking open the door with her diminished magic, Twilight’s careful entrance was spoiled by Trixie barging in and calling at the top of her lungs.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie demands that you remove these stupid horn rings so that Trixie can give you a beating, peon!” Twilight slapped her hoof over her face.
“Trixie, you idiot!” said Twilight, “I was going to put him to sleep while he couldn’t see us!”
There was a snap, a sound which Twilight recognised as a book closing. Moving further into the room, Twilight saw a pony sitting on the edge of a large, luxurious bed, placing a book down beside him.
“And who are you?” asked Twilight
“I’m Minion. Chief Minion, Lord Umbra’s only pony servant right now. All the others left when they realised what Umbra wanted to do.”
“And why should the Great and Powerful Trixie believe anything that you say, Minion? You could be leading us into a trap as we speak.”
Minion sighed.
“I want you two to continue on, take down Lord Umbra,” here, the pony had to stifle a giggle, but recomposed himself, “I think he’s insane, and the only reason I stayed is to try and prevent him from doing too much damage. He’s past that point now, so...” the pony moved over to Trixie first, and with a twist and a pull, removed the magical suppressor form Trixie’s horn. A moment later, he did the same with Twilight Sparkle. Both unicorns had their eyes roll back as access to their magic was restored.
“Lord Umbra should be in the summoning room. It’s down one floor, and out the back. Stop the idiot, before he summons the whole of Tartarus and destroys us all.” Minion began to head out of the room.
“You know, we can’t just let you go, Minion. You were partially responsible for this,” said Twilight.
“I know. I’m making the journey to Canterlot, where I’ll present everything I know to help get or Umbra locked up. Whatever that means for me, I’ll accept.” Twilight appeared satisfied with this, and let the pony head out of the room.
“It appears that Trixie has helped you understand that not everything is so cut and dried as you believe, Sparkle.”
“Shut up, Trixie. I said it was okay because it got us out of that cell.”
And with that, Twilight and Trixie headed out of the self-proclaimed Lord’s rooms, and began to head down to the summoning room.
********
Lord Umbra cackled and laughed as the final pieces were set in place for the summoning. Soon, all of his desires would be made real, and Equestria would be his! As the short pony scuttled about the large summoning room making the final preparations, the glyph on the floor glowing an ominous red, he wondered what his first decree would be.
“Maybe that everypony should only eat asparagus for lunch? Or perhaps that each town must have a temple to me? So many choices,” muttered the unicorn to himself, “Or maybe both? Or maybe a temple to asparagus...yes. They can eat asparagus and proclaim their love for me, their Overlord.”
Lord Umbra, soon to be Overlord of All Equestria, was brought out of his plotting by a pair of voices ringing down the corridor.
“For the last time, Trixie, I read Starswirl’s unfinished Spell, it switched my friend’s cutie marks around, we sang some songs, I fixed the problem, and then I had these.”
“Trixie still thinks that it is a massive conspiracy to deny Trixie’s Greatness and Powerfulness. And Trixie still thinks that you looked ridiculous in that coronation dress.”
“There’s no convincing you, is there?”
“No, Trixie understands what you are saying. Trixie is simply disagreeing with you on principle, Sparkle.”
“Ugh!”
“Oh look, Trixie believes that we are here.”
“The giant ominous doors didn’t tip you off?”
How? How had those two unicorns escaped? Lord Umbra paced around the room. He was sure that Minion had chained them both up, and put the power limiters on their horns. The pony had said so himself. Unless...Yes, Minion must have betrayed him! He would have to be dealt with first, when Lord Umbra, future ruler of Equestria, finally assumed power with his Army of Shadows.
*****
Twilight Sparkle and Trixie lowered their horns at the giant doors to the Summoning room, and with twin blasts, blew them open, or in Twilight’s case, off their hinges.
“Stupid Sparkle,” muttered Trixie, as the two mares walked into the large space, and finally confronted Lord Umbra.
“Snrk...” went Trixie, and Twilight raised a hoof to her mouth to try and stop the oncoming laughter.
“Lord...Umbra?” Twilight said, while Trixie stuffed her hoof in her mouth.
“Yes!” cried the small pony, “It is I the future Evil Overlord of Equestria. Feel my power, quake before my might, and beg for my mercy, you poor mares. If you beg hard enough, I may just spare you a painful demise in penance for your actions today!”
Trixie and Twilight couldn’t hold it back any longer, and let loose, falling onto the floor and roaring with laughter.
“This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. He’s more pathetic than you were, Trixie!” said Twilight, once she could speak again.
“Trixie resents that. Trixie was a formidable foe to Sparkle.”
“Trixie, the only thing I took away from our first encounter was that I don’t need to be ashamed of my natural talents.”
“Trixie resents being used as a friendship lesson.”
A wave of power blasted out from the furious aspiring overlord, blowing both Twilight and Trixie’s capes from their backs.
One the rush of power had ceased, Twilight spread her wings, and opened her eyes, revealing that they were once more glowing with pure power. Trixie, likewise, was demonstrating a similarly impressive display, though without the wings, and Lord Umbra’s eyes widened when he realised exactly who and what he was dealing with. A pink and purple beam of magic slammed into the unicorn, pushing him back up against the wall, knocking him through it, and into the blissful land of unconciousness.
Twilight then turned her attentions to the inscribed and still glowing runic pattern on the floor. After a few moments of study, another beam lanced from her horn, and smashed the centre of the glyph, throwing the carefully modulated energies off, and destroying the budding portal before it could ever truly open. This also resulted in a large explosion. Trixie acted first, magically grabbing Lord Umbra with her telekinesis, and bolting form the room.
“Sparkle, we need to go!”
“Right!”
******
Trixie, Twilight and the unconscious Lord Umbra lay on the road leading to the Fortress of Darkness.
“See?” said Twilight, “I told you that the castle was strong enough to withstand a blast like that. There was no need to rush, Trixie.” The castle chose that moment to collapse into a heap of rubble, leaving only a smoking pile, and Trixie’s smirk.
“Shut up, Trixie,” said Twilight, pointing a hoof at Trixie.
“Trixie didn’t say anything, Sparkle,” said Trixie, still smiling.
“Don’t care. Shut up. Let’s just...get this guy to Canterlot, shall we?”
“Yes, your highnessness,” Trixie smiled, and magically grabbed Lord Umbra, and beginning the walk back to Canterlot. “By the way, Trixie still thinks that Starswirl is overrated.”
“Trixie, half the spells you use everyday were devised and developed by Starswirl. Look...”
******
Rarity heard them coming long before she saw them. It was practically impossible to not hear them, really. Not with how increasingly frustrated Twilight was getting, as well as the rising tones of Trixie’s voice.
“Trixie, I’m an alicorn. Any magical duel I basically automatically win. I’m not trying to belittle your skill, it’s just that I have a huge natural advantage over anypony else.”
Their voices were also getting scratchy, Rarity noted. It had been nearly a week since Trixie had tackled Twilight that one morning. Had they been arguing for that long?
“That’s why Trixie needs to be an alicorn. Then it will be fair.”
“Trixie, I can’t just make somepony an alicorn. I don’t even know how I became one, beyond the power of Friendship.”
“Then ask Celestia. Or Luna.”
“Can’t you just accept the fact that while you’re a good magician, I’m just more naturally talented at it?”
“No, Trixie cannot. You are Trixie’s archnemesis, and Trixie demands a fair rematch.”
Rarity could practically hear the eye roll from Twilight as her friend and the self-declared rival crested the hill.
‘By Celestia, they look tired,’ Thought Rarity, as Twilight stepped in front of Trixie and faced the unicorn. Twilight and Trixie both looked dead on their hooves, their coats and manes bedraggled and covered with dust and dirt.
“Okay, Trixie. This is it. I’m home. You didn’t need to follow me all the way here, you know. You could have left anytime.”
“Trixie needed to make her point about that rematch. She has made it. Trixie will be back, Sparkle.”
“I’m sure you will be,” said Twilight, and the two stared at each other for a while, before Trixie broke eye contact first, turning away with a grunt, and headed for the train station, while Twilight sighed, and was immediately set upon by Rarity.
“Oh, it is such a relief to have you back, Twilight!” gushed Rarity, as she pushed the alicorn towards the Spa, “You must simply tell me all about why Trixie all but kidnapped you.”
“Well, okay...” said Twilight, casting one final glance over her shoulder at Trixie’s retreating form. Trixie turned back, and gave one final wave to Twilight, and Twilight could have sworn that Trixie mouthed ‘That was fun. Let’s do it again sometime.’
Twilight managed a wave back of her own before Rarity shoved her into the Ponyville Spa, and into the tender hooves of Aloe and Lotus.
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dis is gud stuff.
3907647 Glad you like it!
What... just happened?
3907682 i hop dis gets featured. is gud.
Heh, the second story prompt with these two. They make such a good team.
Silly but enjoyable, with both contributing to the overall "crusade" to bring down the baddie. Neither overshadowed the other (though I'm sure Trixie would argue the point).
Good work!
3908334 Thanks for the kind words!
I'm glad that I seem to have gotten the balance between the two down.
Trixie and Twilight arguments seem to write themselves, and they do make a good team, though both of them would deny it.
This was a hilarious read from start to finish. I absolutely loved it. Both characters remained pretty well within their proper characterization, and they kept up their bickering and sniping without really giving any ground. I could easily see them keep doing stuff like this simply for fun (let's face it, Twilight relishes in having somepony to snark at without having to hold back), and Trixie would definitely want to become an alicorn solely to keep their rivalry on an even keel.
Vitriolic Best Friends, anyone?
3912007 That was what I was going for with this: that Twilight and Trixie have this weird rivalry/friendship thing going on that only they really get. I completely forgot about that trope, though.
If I get a mention on the relevant TVTropes page, I will explode with joy.
I'm glad you enjoyed this story!
3912270 I hope you meant that figuratively, because...
It's funny, really, because I've thought the same thing; in one of my current projects, Twilight and her friends end up depowered while Trixie (independently) has trained herself in the hopes of matching her. Trixie then gets upset that her rival has fallen behind and demands that Twilight regains her strength so they can have a proper rivalry. Twilight gets all mopey because she thought they were friends... until Pinkie points out that for crazy ponies like Trixie, rivalry is friendship.
3912423 WHAT. WHAT.
*explodes*
A most excellent story with some of the best banter I've ever read! Kudos!
And hey wasn't "Lord Umbra" the main villain from Mighty Orbots?
ps- congrats on the tv tropes mention! hopefully you don't explode and then explode again!
I've heard that can happen...
4059262 I'm glad you liked it!
To be honest, I just made up the most stereotypical villain name I could think of. I have no idea if it's from anything else.
It was an obscure cartoon from the '80s. Uh-oh I think I may have just dated myself
Was looking for hilarious Trixie/Twilight banter, got all that and a comedic adventure.
I love it.
4085176 I'm glad that you enjoyed it!
The Snarky Adventures of Twilight and Trixie, that was fantastic. I would happily read more about them in this style.
I'll have to take a look at your other stories too.
4505126 I'm glad you found it enjoyable!
First I have to say: This story is a perfect example of why people need to get the idea that Trixie is an illusionist out of their heads, because it leads to a lot of tired clichés. I could swear I've read the conversation where Trixie is extolling the virtues of some shady historical illusionist so many times it's become an archetype by now.
Apart from that, good read.
Just out of interest, where did twilight learn how to pick locks.
Also, simply because Lord Umbra is bright pink does not mean they can't be scary. Think about pinkie pie and how many scary versions there are of her, even in the show.
ADORABLE...JUST ADORABLE !!!!!!
For some reason, I can't help but see the image of Twilight and Trixie as pony Beavis and Butthead now out of my head
I wonder where Trixie discovered this whole Lord Umbra and his evil plot, anyways.
Sometimes, you just need to argue with someone. I thought it was funny, gj.
Good stuff!
6142613
From a book. Where else?!
She's probably been through each of the important Equestria libraries, twice, at this point. On a scale of 1-10, her theoretical knowledge is somewhere around 150.
Considering how much she must know at this point (incl. anything in forbidden (or even slightly discouraged) sections of those libraries), it's really her friends and her moral fiber that collectively stand between Alicorn Twilight and total world domination.
Imagine losing to two ponies who are arguing the whole time.
Like, they're not even trying.
This is amazing!
Kudos!