Leaving Home

There comes a time when everypony has to leave home, and it's never easy for anyone.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

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SuperPinkBrony12

SuperPinkBrony12 #1 · Jan 5th, 2014 · · ·

It's always hard to say goodbye to the ones we love. Even if it's only for a while.

spideremblembrony

spideremblembrony #2 · Jan 7th, 2014 · · ·

Okay, this was a nice, sweet fic.

First off, I liked the premise of the story. It was a sweet little story that dealt with dealing with a loss. But I would have liked to see more detail in dealing with their loss. I would have liked to have seen how Twilight and Shining Armor dealt with their loss. It was just too short for my tastes. But the idea is a solid one.

I did like the emotion you conveyed with Twilight and Shining. That was cute. I really liked that. I wish that we had seen that with the parents as well. I mean the father, not saying any words and yet conveying a conversation, that worked for me. I would have liked more depth with what they were thinking, what they picked up from just the glances, but the idea for the father does work and I liked that. The mother, I don't felt that was as strong. I felt that you needed to expand upon that one a bit more, instead of glancing over it.

A few mistakes in spelling that I noticed, but overall, a pretty good story. A sweet story that deals with loss. A little more detail and I think it would have turned out awesome. Thanks for letting me read it and I hope to see more of you in the future. Take care.

ThunderTempest

ThunderTempest #3 · Jan 8th, 2014 · · ·

3751176 Thank you for the comments.

One thing that confused me a bit, though. You said you 'didn't like the emotion you conveyed with Twilight and Shining. That was cute. I liked it.' Which one is it?

I do actually agree with you about the mother, though. the scene is not as strong as I initially thought it was, and the same with the father.

spideremblembrony

spideremblembrony #4 · Jan 8th, 2014 · · ·

3751918 I apologize. I should have looked it over better before posting my review. I did like the interaction between Twilight and Shining. I thought it was handled pretty well. I apologize for the confusion.