- Member Since 24th Dec, 2013
- offline last seen Jan 11th, 2017
PrincessCelestia123
I enjoy writing about ponies. Mostly ponies having about sex.
PrincessCelestia123
Joined 24th Dec, 2013 ·
Offline
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...so that happened...
Chrysalis approves
That was your first? I could have said you have been writing these for over 3 months. Very well written. +1
This is a great story, but I do see some errors in it. Also, it feels as if it was a bit rushed. Other than that, I did enjoy it
Rushed. Very rushed.
Well-written, but the lack of any real preceding event to the clop was somewhat disappointing. If Twilight had heard what Rarity said, maybe talked it over with both Rarity and herself a bit, and then accepted, this would feel much less rushed, even if the rest of the story was exactly the same.
3863357
Indeed it did.
This story was rushed, but still good.
It's a good first effort, but you really need to get a proofreader. This is rife with spelling errors (homophones, since you clearly use a spellchecker), and grammar and punctuation problems.
Otherwise, it's good, but almost impossible to get into due to the density of the errors.