Wow, you work fast! I wasn't expecting this to be ready for at least a few more hours. As someone that struggles to write at any speed, bravo

The story was great, if perhaps a little short (am I allowed to say that immediately after saying you did it amazingly quickly?). A sequel showing Fluttershy and Rarity's reactions could be fun. Who knows, maybe Twilight could have failed to cast the memory spell properly and they could plan some sexy revenge . I did notice some spelling and grammatical errors, but they didn't distract me from the story and I suppose it's to be expected when you write a story in two hours.

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Maybe it is a little short. I'm just coming back from a long hiatus, so I guess I'm a little rusty. But either way, thanks.

The spelling and grammar I'll fix tomorrow, it's quite late here.

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Why?

More to feed my necrophilia fetish.

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Do a three part story were futa-Twilight pounds Celestia, then futa-Celestia pounds Twilight. The third one will have futa-Twilight and futa-Celestia double team Luna.

Make them either human or anthro but not pony. The sex would be consensual/vaginal/double vaginal/anal/double bj/oral/minor inflation/breast fuck/lactation/and pregnancy (Twilight impregnates Celestia/Celestia impregnates Twilight/Twilight and Celestia impregnate Luna with fraternal twins).

Another idea would be anthro futa-Twilight pounds and impregnates anthro R63 Shining and anthro R63 Spike. The sex would be consensual/drunk sex/double bj/vaginal/anal/oral/magic double cock/double penetration/breast fuck/and minor inflation.

Good chapter, the idea that Twilight has a control fetish is an interesting one. Again, grammar errors. The chapter was a bit on the short side, but it's working better this time. I also feel like this chapter was rushed, but not so much as the previous one. Same as last time, the build-up was pretty spot-on, but the climax was quick and lack-luster.

7388088 immortal does not mean invincible, immortal means living forever/eternal youth, invincibility is being immune to damage.

I can't wait to see u get back to this story I want to see where the fluttershy story continues after she adds twilight to her "collection"

I'd love to see this continue.