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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Jesus, I'm horrified and aroused.
You simply MUST make more
thats the ending? i expected something like a standoff between the two of them or she somehow gets molestia to come out if she wasnt supposed to be out of the metal ward howd she get to ponyville to rape rarity
It says f/f when it should be f/m
eh, I really don't know about this chapter, to many conflicting standpoints for me, I mean, the mind rape is not very appealing to me, being forced into a ward, just a complete turn off.i don't know but there's just something about this one that really strikes my gut, telling me to stop reading here, but it depends on the next chapter. No offense.
3854047
There isn't really going to be a next chapter (for Twilight) I got the idea for a backstory, of sorts and it's there.
Feel free to write a sequel to it if you'd like.
I'm working on about 5 different stories right now :/
And this is where Twilight Sparkle's downward spiral began....
Hey everyone, for those of you who enjoyed "Twilight summons up a pounding" I created an account and posted it here. The site won't let me hardlink it, sorry about that.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/164912/twilight-summons-up-a-pounding
I have some suggestions
Rarity / Male!Fluttershy fucking against a wall
Human!Rainbow Dash / Human!Derpy
Pegasus!Bon Bon / Thunderlane mare-on-stallion
Pinkie Pie / Fluttershy tender sex
just some thoughts ^^
Ah! I'm in the author's notes! That's gunna make this hard, lol
To be truthful, this was a fun little read. I'm kind of disappointed that there wasn't something more to explain how Twilight managed to get back to Ponyville without Celestia actively doing something. But, all the same, a fun read.
My biggest peeve, however, would have to be Celestia herself. Twilight's mental break was an adequate answer for me, but for Celestia to justify her actions as a secret desire to see ponies pushed beyond their limits just feels... cheap.
This is not to say that it feels cheap because Celestia is the one who did it. I wasn't surprised that it would be Celestia's doing at all, actually. But for a seemingly normal pony to induce pain on her most favored student, begrudgingly I might add - for no other explanation than, "I suppose it's a secret kink." It just doesn't feel right.
I'm surprised you didn't follow some kind of Molestia angle here, considering the two or three small signs that kind of cued that Celestia seemed to have a deeper scheme going on in her mind.
Lastly, there are so many missed opportunities here that not only makes this chapter feel as if it was forced out, but also makes me feel like there were two or three different plots before the final product that weren't hammered out very smoothly. First of all being that predatory smirk thing Celestia did. That was pretty much the only thing that made me say, "something's not right here..." Other than that, Celestia feels like her typical character. I mean, we all know she's a troll, but still, it feels out of place in the grand plot.
And then there was Pin Cushion. I mean, really? Totally anticipated this guy to be some closet psychopath who performed illegal, or at least immoral, tests on his subjects under Celestia's nose. This would have further contributed to - and solidified - Twilight's future mental state in my opinion. Hell, the guy could've been Twilight's torture mentor, or at least a source of inspiration. Instead, he was cannon fodder.
Another missed opportunity would be Celestia's surprise by Twilight's presence at the end. This heavily conflicted with the presumption that she was, to some level, mentally unstable. Assuming this is suppose to be canon at some extent with Sunset Shimmer, this isn't the first time one of her guinea pigs escaped. Even if, say, a few years passed between Sunset's "initiation" and Twilight's, a sadistic, mentally unfit escapee is not something you easily forget, and usually is cause for a lengthy period of paranoia. Going off appearances alone, all we have is a purely baffled princess.
Lastly, this missed opportunity exists in the same scene, and really felt like the biggest one to me. Love is a wonderfully powerful thing. When it becomes perverted, nothing is sacred. Twilight mentions many times that she wants to make Celestia hers, but doesn't appear to make any active efforts to realize these thoughts. Having just had her mind broken by the one she cared for the most, I really expected her to utilize the fact that Celestia had no idea she'd broken free yet and jumped her. She could've knocked her out, taken her somewhere secret, and then show 'mommy' just how much she means to her. Leaving the story to end with something of an idea that Celestia would not do anything against the wishes of the young filly, be it for fear or whatever reason. Choosing instead to express a daughter's love to the princess simply didn't ring true to the character of a newly-born demented rapist, with only one pony she holds any semblance of real affection for. And it doesn't work well with her extremely analytical nature. If she were to have raped or abused Celestia into submission, she would not only have the most coveted diarch in all of Equestia in her pocket, but also an entire castle to run her base of operations. Controlling Celestia's favor means that the guards would turn a blind eye to what goes on behind closed doors if any happen to find out. Those same guards could also become potential targets. Stronger rule by fear. Not to mention ready access to a plethora of hidden/unused rooms, and even access to parts of the castle that guards might not ever go to. All while remaining as close as possible to mommy-dearest, because "she's the one whom we truly adore, and seek love and affection from." This would open up doors for a nice little slice-of-life story with plenty of interaction to choose from, and perhaps centralize it around Twilight's daily struggles as she masters her lifestyle, fights for Celestia's unrestricted approval, copes with the occasional episode, all while trying to retain a copacetic demeanor.
Overall, it was still a great read and provided a foundation for which Twilight Rapist could stand upon, but it could've done with a little more effort. Thanks for the mention though, I'm glad I inspired you.