Page generated in 0.017 seconds
Total duration
1,000 users online
346,447 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
3770251
Can I ask, what did you like about it? Was it the writing or the scenes, I want to improve my writing skills but people give such vague answers sometimes :(
3770727
Thank you for the constructive critisism :)
I agree with all of the points you raised and I'll try to flesh out any other chapters :)
3770759 there was the confusion in usage the terms He and She:
this correction would make it make much more sense.
3772105
Thanks.
3772112 anytime, just give me a holler and I'll come take a gander to search for any errors if you need me. I just brought that one up cause it practically slapped me in the face.
3772121 have you done any editing? I could use an editor tbh.
3772129 I've done my fair share. Why I have done plenty of editing on a collab fic that I am working on with Ascending Anthem called 'The Fall of Equestria.' it is an original story line so we had to plan it carefully and it didn't take long for it to start attracting some real attention to me and I felt bad cause Ascending Anthem wasn't getting his equal share of the attention so I went in and added that he should get just as much credit as I am getting.
It' not bad, but you really need to work on your balance between the buildup and the actual action.
For instance, I saw this chapter and was all "Hyper endowment? Cum inflation!? I love large insertion/big bellies, sign me up!"
but then when we actually get to it, it was kinda disappointing. He goes from pushing it in to fully hilted in like two sentences, which, given his supposed immense size, is big letdown. There's absolutely nothing about how he was having difficutly fitting it in or how his size was stretching Luna out, just a small throwaway bit later about watching her stomach be pushed out as he thrust. and then when we finally get to the actual cumflation, it's all of a single sentence.
long story short, you really need to focus more on the sex, I think.
and also, this chapter in particular really needed a pre reader/editor.
3786015
Glad you enjoyed it... maybe... I think...
3812685
Dunno lol, I'll have to get around to starting it. Business stuff is getting in the way :(
has anypony asked for a gleaming shield (r63 shining armor) and prince boloro (r63 cadence) yet?
You should see my friends face right now
unable to be killed is literally the definition of immortal