Fluttershy has recently moved to a new school and meets new friends : Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Apple Jack, Rainbow Dash and also she doesn't get along with the popular girls, Luna and Cadence.
Will Fluttershy be able to survive? Or will her dream high school become a complete disaster?
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That's cute!
Characters are very out of character: Why would they pick on the new girl like that in the first place?
2556196 Who? Luna? Well in my story I made Luna and Cadence means (As in Luna being Nightmare Moon and Cadence being the Changling Cadence) mean to Fluttershy (the new girl) because no one else had forms of them that were mean, I was going to choose Discord, but describing him as human would've been too hard - I'm not sure if I've answered your question entirely, but I tried
I also made them pick on Fluttershy because it reminded me of my first day at my third school, everyone was mean, I related it to My Little Pony because I was nicknamed Fluttershay (Shay being my actual name), I even have a Fluttershy jacket! But that's not the point 
I am not at all relating this to the TV series because I honestly ship Rarishy 
2556236 This was cool! Keep up the good work!
Don't let others bring you down!!!
-RainbowDash3000
2559743 Thanks!
No problem!!!
Better written story than Equestria Girls.
2720937 Aw thanks!
The main characters need to be described a little more, for example;
Loved the second chapter
Fluttershy's pale pink dress was stained from tears. She sighed, when was the teasing and mocking going to end?! She stalked outside and bumped into Rarity, causing the both of them to fall on to the cement floor. Fluttershy blushed hard. She murmured an apology and helped the Royal Purple-haired girl up onto her feet.
"No problem, Flutter" Rarity said. They had an unannounced staring contest. She didn't realize how pretty Rarity's blue eyes were until that point, they shimmered as the sun shined upon them. She was too lost in thought to hear Rarity clear her throat and look away awkwardly.
"So.... Yeah.... Don't let Cadence and Luna get to you. If it does, just remember, you always have me to talk to, or any of us. We're always here for you Fluttershy" Rarity ended her little speech then walked slowly down the path to the front gates just as the bell rang to go home.
It was then that Fluttershy knew that at least she had one friend in this school
It's just some constructive criticism. Ya know, you're a great writer and you are welcome to use what I've just written. As long as you give me a little credit for it...
But anyway! I can see you going far, young mare. I wish you well on your journey to Ponyville, Canterlot and beyond. There are great things to come for you future that concerning your writing.
2723690 Thanks for the idea!
Needs more content.
2845790 ...
2847804
Sure let Spike driver. Can't wait to see how this turns out.
