Starlight runs away from home to avoid an unwanted talk, but she ended up meeting some very interesting ponies. Warning this does not contain much diapers. This will contain much regression.
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 19th Nov, 2012
- offline last seen May 29th, 2019
Starlight Dash
I draw, write, youtube commentate, dance, and livestream whenever.
Starlight Dash
Joined 19th Nov, 2012 ·
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Nice username
3718519 Oh my freaking Celestia! I have no words on how to describe the amount of hilarity I am experiencing at this moment. I must tell you this is the first time I have ever encountered a pony with the same username as me.
Intresting first chapter. Good to see another story from you.
3718824 Yea the foalsat one I assume is gonna pick after the next chapter cause it will have more variety and stop being so boring but this one I love as well and others want me to continue beyond 3 chapters then me and my friend will
Sugarcube corner....Really? For one that is a family establishment, the cakes living there with Pinkie Pie. For this never heard of pony to be working there is a bit too much of a stretch since the idea isn't properly introduced. We're just expected to accept this OC we've never seen before just works in someone's home. It'd be better if it was just an anonymous candy store in Cloudsdale itself.
Second a foul that doesn't want to go home and is very resistant to the idea needs to be taken to a guard/police station, not right back home where there is obviously a problem.
Three. Starlight is a black and pink alicorn....
Do yourself a favor and just make her a pegasus. That way you can save yourself about 500 kneejerk downvotes. For one alicorn OC are very hard to balance right even for experienced authors and even then they can slide into Mary Sue territory. Not too mention the pitch black coat of fur on an alicorn OC isn'tvery original...at all.
3720419 It an RP not a canon I explained that already. two not my OC three fuck off cause I will never change her to anything but an alicorn now good day to you. My OC not yours and not your story you cant just go bossing me around and ponies will get over the fact that shes an alicorn. One more thing a story is make believe not always based on fact so taking to the police would not make for a good story. Another thing it isn't my OC and pony who it belongs to made it the son of Surprise and Pinkie pie is his aunt so that's why it takes place in sugarcube corner!
I decided to go through this thoroughly and found 132 errors in terms of punctuation, capitalisation, tense and general grammar. Multiple times, you slip into the past tense, not put commas around clauses, erroneously capitalise words, miss out punctuation and confuse homonyms. I suggest you correct the errors in this piece.
3727188 It's an RP not real written story I expected this. I'll fix later gotta go for run.
I'm sure Princess Celestia wouldn't throw Spitfire and Birthday Bash into a dungeon if they explained how they found her daughter. Celestia is very understanding and forgivable, provided you don't get on her bad side of course.
3728662 Yesh yoo should neva get on mommy bad side!
Kind of felt like this chapter should've been split in two. The first part ending with Spitfire and Birthday Bash thrown into the dungeon, and the second part being the conclusion of this fic. Cause this chapter seemed to feel rushed.
3812333 It shoulda came out at like months ago. No way it was rushed. But I can see where your getting that from
you're, not your. Your shows possession, whereas you're is short for you are. They're not interchangeable
4103443 Right sorry. Thanks for the correction