• Member Since 19th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 11th, 2021

Little Solarflare


T

On the eve of Hearth's Warming Eve, as Luna raises the moon, she is visited once again by the very entity which drove her to madness. Resisting it's influence, Celestia and Luna hatch a plan to end this once and for all.
One which works too well with unforeseen consequences.
As the nightmare loses it's power, it plummets to the earth followed by an explosion of Power that the Royal Sisters know too well. However when they find the epicentre of the explosion they are shocked to see an Alicorn with no memory, and no name.

Yet the question remains. Why does it resemble Luna so much that they could be twins??

Follow the story as this unnamed Alicorn makes her presence into Equestria, for better or worse.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 97 )

My First Fic. I decided to do the generic idea of another Alicorn in equestria, but i decided to go something different and write the perspective of this new character in first person.

Please criticise and tell me what's to be changed as i'm still relatively unexperienced with writing stories
and please. no trolling.

:trollestia:




nah, i kid. so far so good, I'm tracking it, I'll vote after a few chapters though (my usual policy.)

I'm not gonna lie, the writing needs a lot of cleanup. However, the story itself? It's got potential, for sure. I nearly laughed aloud a the idea of masking harmony inside the amplified frustration of last-minute shopping queues. :rainbowlaugh: I'm very interested to see where Chapter 1 will go.

297344

Thanks for the feedback, i guess i'll have to proof read it and fix it again
i'm still new to this but thanks for the encouragement :scootangel:

As long as you can avoid some of the stigma that Past Sins garners from its annoying hatedom, you can probably do something pretty good with this. Due to the somewhat similar premise, you can expect someone to make something out of it.

297465 wait what?!?! Past sins has a hatedom?!?!

I must remedy this atrocity! To the TARDIS!!!!!!

a few grammar errors but over all good
I will save my vote till there is more chapters but so far I like it :twilightsmile:

297465

Don't worry i am against plagiarism and copying ideas, though i will try to keep this as unique as possible

i know this story kinda shares similair traits but it will be different i promise
297546

As for grammar, it is being rectified :pinkiehappy:

I'm not accusing you of stealing anything or trying to copy. I'm just saying that Past Sins does have a rather absurd group of haters and they will probably transfer that hate to your story because it has a similar element (Nightmare Moon reincarnated as a good pony). Be prepared to face some preposterous negativity.

Work on your proofreading, maybe ask around for a good editor, and above all have fun.

297669

Or not. The two spin offs of Past Sins on this site do not get that much attention good or bad, and only get a small bump in hate (and the rating system has been made less abusable since, as the haters are too lazy to do more than down vote them).


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Tracked for later.

0

Man, I can't keep up with your writing :pinkiecrazy:

Disregard next statement but... I liked the previous image more.

Keep 'em coming!

Just looking at the picture and description, my first reaction was: "Past Sins rehash. Somebody tell this guy it's already been done!"

I'm not averse to seeing it done again with a different spin, but you should know Past Sins has set the bar pretty high, and my loyalty to the holy trinity of Celestia, Luna and Nyx isn't going to be challenged easily.

Nice start, looking foward to seeing how you proceed with it. :twilightsmile:

There are a number of issues with case (e.g. "What I do know, however, is that the Magic of friendship, the one which on the other hoof, is one which completely destroys hate and anger within a creature.") that could use a sweep for, including a few places where the pronoun 'I' is in lower case. This applied to the previous chapter when I read it the day it wa released.

Intriguing. It's always fun to see people flesh out that Nightmare Moon story.
(Applejack is Honesty, not Loyalty, and while my eyes didn't bleed, there were some lowercase i errors and a couple extra apostrophes.)

309942 In the name of the Sun, the Moon, and the Nightmare. Amen.
:rainbowlaugh:
I get the feeling that there are going to be some people upset with our comments.

D;awwwww! Dawn is adorable! :pinkiehappy:And potentially excruciatingly heartbreaking if what I'm seeing unfolds as predicted.Good chapter :)

:trollestia::How about we name you Red Eye, the Scourge of the Wasteland?

So much referential humor could have been had if Dawn was named Red Eye. Would have been funny if she had a bully named Little Pip or if Trixie hated her with a passion and tormented her. Or if when ever she got a package, Derpy drops it from high up on Dawn's head.
You passed up a potential gold mine of humor and FO:E references by saying no to Red Eye.

:trollestia:: Luna I would never construct your acadamy near the Zebra border which could trigger a long bloody war that brings about the apocolypse that irradiates the land and poisons Canterlot for 200+ years.

That hooded instructor is begining to feel like that doucher head master that manipulated Nyx in Past Sins.:twilightangry2:

326072

Who said I passed it up? Besides the story has only just begun:raritywink:

326320 *SQUEE*:pinkiehappy:
Dawn is going to carry around a plush named Little Pip while rockin a purple vest and glasses isnt she?:rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh:
OH!:pinkiegasp: Shes going to get bullied by AppleSnack!

Im going to keep an eye out for FO:E and Past Sins references.

Facinating story, i can see a group of hooded ponies already rubbing their hooves in delight.

Good chapter and all but I found a small error.
“Now come Luna, go play by yourself, Mommy’s got a lot of work to do.”
should it not be like this?
“Now come Dawn, go play by yourself, Mommy’s got a lot of work to do.”

Iam only trying to help out I love the story keep up the awesome work :D

mvh Asabrasa :heart:

FIRST!:pinkiehappy: (for ch.4)

I get the feeling that Dawn is going to be left with Pinkie and AJ while Rarity, Twi and Dash are following Spike and Fluttershy is at some unknown location. Dawn is totally going to pull some Nyx action with the CMC.
Next chapter is going to be interesting. I already feel for AJ:ajbemused:

Edit: or rather second....

I'm really enjoying this story. Looking forward to the next chapter.:twilightsmile:

348668
huh? Oh I see what you did there :rainbowlaugh:

348792
Thanks,
Btw I really enjoyed your story 'the dark eternal night' :pinkiehappy:

AHW! you stopped JUST where I was looking forward to reading! big meanie...be sure to get more chapters out!:pinkiehappy:

Hmmmmm crazy ponies in Taratus.... Sounds very interesting.

Twilight must be Celestia's daughter, since it would make sense being that Dawn and Twilight would secede Day & Night

Greek mythology? With ponies? Hmm, this will indeed be interesting.:unsuresweetie:

382026RUUUUN AS FAST AS YOUR ADORABLE LITTLE LEGS CAN!!

382026>>382059 RUN NY-er I mean RUN DAWN! RUN!! HAUL YOUR ADORABLE BLANKFLANK OUT OF THERE!!:rainbowlaugh:

Quick question for eveyone, can anyone here actually pull off saying the alphabet backwards while sober? No one I know can, and my pool of friends and I are either in University/College or graduated.

387053 I did it one time in french for a bet...I won five bucks that day...never been able to do it agian and I sure as hell can't do it in english

387100 english...I took french 1 during the previous semester as a sophomore in high school

387484 perhaps, no idea how I did it

I hope Twilight goes straight up gangsta on Iron Hoof.

434812

WELL. I will give a mini spoiler.

Giant explosion imminent:trollestia:

ahahah iron hoof that's what you get for being a double agent!

434801 yes problem. Do you have a reason to not like Past sins?

438272

I don't like the idea of Nightmare Moon's soul/mind being put into a alicorn fillies body and I don't like the filly that Twilight has to look after, she cries too much and I thought the story was overall overrated and boring for my tastes in my opinion.

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