Twilight Sparkle is awoken by a crash in her library. She discovers and Alicorn colt with no memory crash landed in the history section. To rediscover himself he has to search Equestria's deep past. Which looks like a piece of Swiss cheese. He'll also meet good friends that will help him along the way like the cutie mark crusaders and Twi's brother Resilient Spirit. Who was turned into an Alicorn by a mysterious spell called "Healing Wings." Can he discover his destiny in time to stop an ancient evil before it engulfs Equestria in eternal darkness?
Chapters (25)
i wont read it just YET
i will if you fix your spelling mistakes
thats all
Fourth Alicorn? Spelling prologue wrong? "To find out who he is"?
Nope!
Na-uh!
Not touching this with a ten-foot pole!
20/5 I've read this fic seven times already and it never gets boring that's how amazing it is.
You're a literary mastermind!
265616 Minus spelling errors.
265662
Finding Nemo guy is MC Doesn't Know What Sarcasm Is.
265671 You can't tell from words typed on a screen without anything to show said sarcasm.
265675
Saying 20/5 on a fic with kindergarten grammar and saying I read it seven times. Yeah, that's so hard to get...
265701
There's no reason to be so rude to everyone.
Hmm. Looked like an interesting story, but due to spelling errors before I even opened a chapter, I'm not going to read.
Sorry. Probably a great idea, but the spelling. Sorry again.
IM SORRY ABOUT THE SPELLING OK?
IS EVERY PONY HAPPY NOW!?!
I think I know why the bristh don't like my grammar.... I'm an American
266499
Ah! Shh! It's alright!
Didn't mean to be so sarcastic with you. What I should have done was actually give you some advice, the first of which is to read over your work. Just read it and just think to yourself "Will other people enjoy this? Will this catch their interest?" Now, as I said in my previous comment, I was instantly turned off by the concept alone, which has been done thousands of times.
Try and think outside the box, even if it's rather simple. It seems it'd work to your advantage anyway, since you seem to be trying to do one very long epic of sorts.
Sometimes we need to WALK before we RUN.
Sorry all of us seem mean, but that's just another reason why you need to read over your writing multiple times to make sure it's legible. Make sure the dialogue flows smoothly and most important of all, READ IT OUT LOUD TO YOURSELF. This helps immensely and you'll catch many more grammatical errors that way.
Not to sound harsh, but I would scrap this story and write a bit of a simple story, maybe even a one-shot. Just so you get used to writing dialogue and writing in general.
Good luck, hope you take this to heart.
268249 thnx
I've already written several chapters though. But I'll be sure to apply some of the tactics you suggested. Also i hope you still read my fanfic even if its full of errors
265478there fixed will you read it now?
269196 hmm i see you have fixed the spelling mistakes, so thats a check and a tick right there
however i see some grammar errors
ill let them slide, im not one to critisize grammar, even if i see errors in it
and if you are wondering
yeah ill read it now :D
you may need a proofreader to help you on this
one who knows spelling and tons of grammar
Yah... The one I have currently isn't particualry good at cagthing gammaitally errors
Good Guy Cobalt.
i1140.photobucket.com/albums/n570/LunaUsesCaps/GoodGuyCobalt.jpg
Why thanks LUC
you know... this probably uses better grammar then me
You know... No one talking about the actually story line. Is the grammar THAT BAD that you can't enjoy my story?
I'll get more chapters ready soon
damn good start off man damn good
TONS of grammer issues i think u need 2 fix them. were you in a rush to get this done or just exited? cuz i am the fastest and most precise typer ive ever met i typed this whole thing in about 8.3 seconds!
@Cobalt the Alicorn: i dont give a rats ass cheek about the grammer its still a great fucking book. yes there are quite a few mistakes but that dosent fucking matter YOU GOT THAT HATERS?!?!? anyway you should keep it up
and remember take it slow and proofread your work and youll do great
DUDE GREAT JOB WAAAAAY LESS MISTAKES THIS TIME and also the part where luna nearly kicked the shefs ass with words? fucking GEEEEENIUUUUUS!!!!!!!!!!
I THINK THE STORY ITSELF IS GREAT!!! and daaaaaaamn trixie got a looovaaaaa!!!!! lol keep up the good work and remember man proofread your work and youll do great and read it out loud to yourself thatll help a shit load it sure helped me on my book
and im startin a new book right now its called: Nightmares parallel. its essentially the first episode of season 1 with all the characters and everything but without the beginning and intro music it starts of where twilight meets pinkie and so on for the rest of the episode but with a twist. the twist is that its a first person book of a middle-aged Stallion named Brock who just "happens" to have an interest in twilight and her friends. the REAL twist is that he's an ancient servant of nightmare moon herself and was her right hand man but the day before she was banished to the moon she used a spell on him that gave him immortality without becoming an alicorn. so he's an earth pony, middle-aged, brown colored, 1023 years old, and the right hand man of Nightmare moon herself! how will it all end? lets wait and see......
And why are u saying this on my story instead of say... YOUR BLOG!?!
Every one sees the chapter titles. YOU SEE WHAT I'M DOING HERE!!!
266522 I'm an American...
Ok... Not who I wad expressing to comment but at least he broke the cain how do you like the actual story?
great job man and srry bout not commenting before
well i read it and i loved it so thank you
wow a fucked up way to end a chapter. a fuckin thousand year old guy kissing a filly
but still KICK ASS story my friend
i am proud to be able to call you such
and also.......... good luck on the next xhapter
good luck
Ok here are som resons it not ad f-ed up as you say
A. If the fillies were ten at the end of the celestial meleneia and it's three years gone by there 13
B, he's not a thousand years old
C. I CAN DO WHAT EVER I FELL LIKE!!!
@Cobalt the Alicorn no no no dude this book kicks SO MUCH ASS
and i want the next chapter
but i was just saying thats kinda mesed up how u ended da chapter
Cobalt kissin sweetie belle an all?
but yes this book RAPES!!!!!
in a good way of course
i just finished the sequel to Nightmare's Parallel if you wanna read em both their really good and the sequel's got VIOLENCE AND CUSSING!
Two very good resons for me NOT to read it.
no offence
FRIEND ZONED
BAD ASS MAN!!!!!!!!!! and hey, Cobalt? Welcome back man
its been a long while since i talked to you and its been even longer since you've writen. But i gotta say, you aint lost a DAMN touch to your writing man. Great job man and, again, welcome back.
Thnx
Dude.......... Cobalt...... That was fucking AWESOME!!!!! P.S: you owe me four hundred dollars for causing me to break my laptop over my head from laughter..... Nah just kidding man.
DAMN, i repeat, DAMN fine work Cobalt. You will never lose your touch man. If you were a pony, writing would be your special talent. Keep going man and never let anything get you down!!!! because i want you to know something.
Not even death can stop an amazing writer like you Cobalt...... Never give up, never hold back, never give in...... Never forget, Always believe, Always remember....... Death may be the end to your life...... But it will always be the beginning of your next....... Good luck old friend.
Signed,
Lord Dante Sparda
485269 I wish that all my other readers where as avid as a commenter as you
487944 Dont worry man. Anyone who says this is bad is just a dumb bitch who doesn't know good talent when they see it. I, if i do say so myself, am a good writer. You my friend have greater potential for writing than even i do. Your talents will carry you far in life as long as you let them. Dont ever let anyone get you down with their words. Always remember in your heart, you are who you want to be and no one can change that.
oh diddy
, theirs an advertizment for a grammar check right under my fic>>489123>>280402>>272771>>269327>>268249>>265817
NOOOOOOOOOOO WHY YOU MAKE CHAPTER SO SHORT COBALT??!?!?!?!?!? WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME WITH THE TIME I MUST WAAAAAAAAAIT!!!!1
:509661
519580 eh he he. Let just see if we I can't make it better when new chapters come out you'll see if they got what the others missed. Also if you decied what missing don't hesitate to tell me. Maybe some of your fan base might like it.
520167 whoa dude chill if u want to start a flame war do it on your blog NOT MY STORY'S COMMEMT SECTION!!!