• Member Since 13th Feb, 2012
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GentlemanJ


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This story is a sequel to When the Man Comes Around


The eleventh in the Journey of Graves.

Relationships are hard. Relationships harder when you have no idea what you're doing. Though Graves knows he's now together with the lovely Rarity, he has no idea what that really means or what sorts of headaches a couple's life can bring. Join us in a collection of three short stories that chronicle our intrepid marshal's attempts to navigate the most treacherous minefield of all: dating.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 97 )

Sounds like how I get when I drink red wine!! Seriously, anything else and I just have a laugh. Red wine... I start punching things... and people.

English muffins indeed

Now hold on... we have different types of muffin over here, and most certainly the ones that Derpy likes!!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA GRAVES IS SCARED OF HER FATHER!!!

Then again, that's a scary thing to go through!!

In Holland there was a animation series on tv called "Buurman & Buurman" (Neighbor&Neighbor), but Wikipedia tells me the English name is "Pat & Mat". This is what Wikipedia says about the series:
The show features the two characters facing mostly self-made problems, trying to solve them using any possible and impossible tools and construction gadgets. This leads to even more problems and yet, eventually, the two manage to get a working result with a mostly surprising solution.
The first part of this chapter/story made me think about them. Especially when Mac and Graves use dynamite to destroy the stump and this off course leads to the next problem that there is now a huge hole. What is the strangest way to solve that problem? Holding a barbecue of course!

I should write this idea down! I think the CMC could make good replacements for Pat and Mat. Every chapter they would try to solve something to finally solve the problem in the most unexpected way (and while solving it making a lot more problems).

My voice sunk two octaves and now I have to shave twice a day just from reading this story.

Stay manly my friends. :moustache:

He’d just never expected to see death in a Hawaiian shirt and straw hat.

...

That... That is an amazing line. I really don't know what else to say...

3089449 Exactly! English muffins are delish!

“Oh yeah, Graves is the best!” Sweetie Belle beamed, now speaking clearly for having taken her sibling’s advice. “In fact, I think Graves is just about the bestest thing Rarity’s ever done!”

Yeah, I got odd looks when I burst out laughing at that line.

Confound your talent, I've had a Pinkie-sized smile on my face from the first chapter to the last.:pinkiehappy:
…Crap, I think it's stuck. :pinkiehappy:
WHAT AM I GONNA DO!?:pinkiehappy:

3089900
Manly things. Go punch a bear. Go on. I'll wait. :rainbowlaugh:

First, threaten to consume a man's soul. Second, offer to play Monopoly with him. Absolutely legit. :raritywink:

I will personally bake you a cake made of pain, frost it with suffering, and serve it to you fresh on a plate of despair and garnished with agony! SO HELP ME BOY, YOU HARM ONE HAIR ON MY BABY GIRL’S PRETTY LITTLE HEAD AND I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE AND EAT YOUR SOUL WITH A SIDE OF FRESH POTATO SALAD!

I think that's the best "dad" speech I've ever heard.

I always imagined Graves to have the charisma of Three Dog and the voice of The Narrator.

English muffins are not muffins I've ever enjoyed.

3090001 I think I'll use that one day.

COPS marathon featuring the best of police brutality.

Spike TV

Good god. Now I'm scared of Rarity's father.

That was bar non the best father speech ever.

bake some thank-you cupcakes for a certain cheery mail girl

There is something most decidedly wrong with this phrase, but I am not sure what.

*dies laughing* :rainbowlaugh:

Oh man, there's a reason why meeting the parents is so gorramn terrifying! If there's one thing it'd be perfectly okay for Graves to be afraid of, it's Rarity's dad! :rainbowlaugh:

Graves and alchohol work wonders.:pinkiehappy:

That is indeed manly.
I need to start chopping wood. I do the rest of that stuff already. The only things stopping me is that I live south where winter does not exist, eliminating the need for firewood, and for some reason my family's supply of axes has vanished from the tool collection. I think it's time travelers trying to prevent me from getting used to the swing of one so I don't become a crazy axe murderer. Just a theory.

You are now reading this in Magnum's voice:

"Because I’ll say this now. If you ever hurt my baby girl, if you ever break her heart like in those hokey chicky books she reads, then so help me boy, I will end you. I will see to it that every waking moment of your pathetic, miserable existence is like a COPS marathon featuring the best of police brutality. I will personally bake you a cake made of pain, frost it with suffering, and serve it to you on a plate of despair and garnished with savory agony! SO HELP ME BOY, YOU HARM ONE HAIR ON MY BABY GIRL’S PRETTY LITTLE HEAD AND I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE AND EAT YOUR SOUL WITH A SIDE OF FRESH POTATO SALAD! ARE! WE! CLEAR?!”

:trollestia:

Comment posted by the parasprite deleted Aug 23rd, 2013

WE NEED THE OVERLY MANLY MAN OVER HERE!
HIS SON HAS BEEN FOUND!

As for this update in general;

EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU SHAGGING!
THE HIPS MOVED FAST AS LIGHTNING!

Death wearing goofy clothes...
Sounds liike my great grandpa.

He was a MEAN, LEAN KILLING MACHINE OF THE CAVES

And sherlock, he's wierd too

BWAHAHAHAHA! OH MY LORD! This whole thing is just FREAKING HILARIOUS! I can't stop laughing and smiling! Too good, TOO GOOD! Kep it coming sir, KEEP IT COMING!:pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh:

Never thought id see Graves so scared...

I read Magnum's rant with a chuckle, thinking of everything Graves has gone through and imagining that nothing Magnum could do would compare.

Then I turn around and Graves is practically sweating bullets. Guess it's different when you're in front of your girlfriend's father. (I wouldn't know. I have as much relationship experience as Graves. Less by now.)

In fact, I think Graves is just about the bestest thing Rarity’s ever done!

Out of the mouths of babes... :rainbowlaugh:

Men. That is the only thing I need to say and the only thing I will ever need to say.

Wise words from Derpy. Derpy is Confucius.

Wow, Graves hasn't been this scared since Operation Elder..... Too soon?

I wonder if Graves is good at monopoly?:applejackunsure:

“Graves? Dear? These are... my… parents.”

What I imagine Graves' reaction to be...well, at least within his head:

3089941
Fluttershy and Theodore Roosevelt said no, due to the manly activities of your other readers.
So I did the next best thing: Punch a rhino.

So is this a crossover? And if so, a crossover of what?

3094033
No crossover. Ongoing series.

I saw the front page. :raritystarry:
I clicked the link.:pinkiehappy:
I Favored and liked.:heart:
Then I read it.:coolphoto:
Attempted to fave more then once.:moustache:
Failed.:fluttercry:

I am required by law to inform you that this series has reached the FDA level of 'Class 1' drug. It is highly addictive, bad for a normal workdays performance, and has major problems with causing withdrawal. I must recommend you fix one of these, and if so, please fix the withdrawal problem as this is just perfect. Once again, good job sir!

3094033

I recommend reading ALL of it. Its fantastic.

Chopping trees down with my bare hands, then throwing the logs into a mine field and using the explosion to cook my steak.:eeyup:

I have the sudden urge to punch a grizzly bear in the face while eating beef jerky and drinking beer...

3095361 Shouldn't you be working on Ponyfall?

Confound it woman! I’m not a mind reader!
I have yet to be in a relatioship where this was not said.:eeyup:

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