• Member Since 13th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Friday

GentlemanJ


T

This story is a sequel to When the Man Comes Around


The thirteenth in The Journey of Graves

It started out as a glamorous evening for two of Equestria's finest and their lovely lady friends. It ended up a sordid mess of screaming civilians, chaotic upheaval, and explosions. Lots of explosions.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 54 )

I have absolutely no idea what just happened.

Can't handle the amount of casualness in this story.

So... many... references...

Graves and Armor really were acting like children... buck yeah!

I must say, that sounds like my ideal night out on the town...minus the rich people. They sort of creep me out. Everything else can stay the same though.

Wonderful story as always, and always entertaining to read. Thank you once again for all your hard work, and have a great day with...umm...whatever it is you do.:twilightsmile:

I was just beginning to crave a new Graves story and you duly deliver!

Gotta love Graves and Shining.

That title's misleading; not a single poker one-liner at all:ajbemused: Or do you prefer slots?

Please keep these coming. They're brilliant!

That last line is so Graves.:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
I'm glad that you expanded further on Shining's and Grave's relationship.:raritystarry:
Keep at it!

This reminds me of a scene in the book, "Valhalla Rising" by Clive Cussler. After saving the Secretary General of the UN by driving a 1938 Packard off of a ski jump and crashing it through the second story of a Colorado Chalet, he turns to a stunned bartender and orders a Martini.

Bruce Mane and Pony Stark and KL Rolling. THE REFERENCES!!! OH, THE REFERENCES!!!

Date's going to continue, stopped a raid, had some drinks, some gossip, and a serious conversation in a casual manner.

Flawless victory!

"Don't make me punch you," is the icing on the cake.

Once again fucking brilliant.:pinkiehappy::heart:

Cool guys don't look at explosions, only open up when pinned down by gunfire from no less than a doussen assailants, and spend more attention on conversing with eachother than the mooks falling with every pull of the trigger.

Nice little one-shot overall, but I kind of feel like it was a little bit lacking in some areas. That is to say, during both the conversation between Cadence and Rarity and the one between Shining and Graves, I feel like it needed a little more... background chaos, I guess is the term I'm looking for. Just random stuff happening in the background to make the characters' nonchalance at the situation all the funnier.

For example, every so often in Cadence and Rarity's case, an explosion could go off in the background in the pause between sentences, or gunfire resounds in the background, or big chunks of debris go flying across the room, and during all of this the ladies don't so much as flinch or even pause their conversation.

And in the case of Graves and Shining:
- Every so often one of them can pop up to take a shot at the enemy, or even have Graves casually aim his gun over the edge of their shelter without even looking or getting up, but still landing a hit.
- Have a grenade land close to them in the middle of one of Shining's sentences; ie. "What's it you wanted - Whoop, grenade." (flings it somewhere else with his magic) "So, like I was saying..." And continue like nothing happened.

You know, stuff like that. I'm aware that some stuff of the sort does go on in the story, but it's mostly at the beginning and end of each conversation, and I feel that if a little more of it took place within the actual meat of each conversation, it would make things even more fun to read. Maybe I'm just nitpicking, but I feel like small details like that can add some real spice to a story like this and make it funnier and more memorable. It might seem inconsequential, but trust me, the little details can leave the biggest impression without the audience even realizing it. Hope I don't sound too harsh saying this; I just wanted to offer a bit of constructive criticism. Overall, I've been quite enjoying the Journey of Graves series, and this is no exception :) Keep up the good work!

This is a good character development story. I would have liked to have seen more of the action that was taking place. I'll bet you could have worked in some hilarious action-based dialogue between Graves and Shining Armor. Think like the wedding in the middle of battle during the third "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie. Or perhaps Wesley versus Inigo Montoya. By the way, Shining Armor and Graves have a great thing going.
I'm having a a lot of trouble believing that Graves would bring up something so serious and thought provoking not only at random but in the middle of battle. I really hope you've got a plan for that later on in the series. Because that's just signs that something's not right in his head.
Another thing that's somewhat bugging me is that the girls of the show definitely don't have many quams with jumping into the fray when their friends are in trouble. There's plenty of potential for hilarity there as well. Here, however, Cadence and Rarity are just sort of like:
driber.net/os/oh-you-guys.jpg
Towards the beginning, it took me a while to figure out who was there. You did a great job of describing their surroundings. But I only got half a sentence in terms of the girls and what they look like. I don't know what "corral colored hair" looks like and was guessing up until Cadence was explicitly stated. "Violet colored hair" tells me it's purple. But there are a couple of characters with purple hair so that threw me off. "Wine colored dress" was a bit confusing because there are many types of wines with many different colors. For this lack of proper description especially in regards to colors, you have made Rarity upset :raritydespair::raritycry: You should be ashamed of yourself.
But I still laughed.
7/10

I needed a good laugh. Now I've got a months worth.

Comment posted by Shieldheart204 deleted Oct 7th, 2013

Great story, I'm glad you chose to expand on the Shining-Graves unusual friendship. It could maybe indicate some sort of bromance?

Anyway, I really hope we can see more of C.O.B.R.A, they seem to be the perfect cartoonishly evil organization that could be used to cause more trouble for graves "just because".

Shining and Graves, the new Shawn and Gus of Psych. XD

I was getting a bit of a (1967) "Casino Royale" vibe here, along with a smidgen of "The Fifth Element." All very snazzy.

Yes! This is exactly what I said I wanted! Some backstory on Graves and Shinning Armor! And the chemistry between them is just perfect! Truly amazing J, I have to say this is one of my favorites.

On a side note: Ah, you are familiar with the theories of Kant. He is.....interesting.....to say the least.

3309203

I half expect this guy to show up

Comment posted by 1000Fights deleted Oct 7th, 2013

“Besides, it was Graves’ idea, not mine.”

Hold on! Did you hear that? I think a big, yellow vehicle just went by. :rainbowlaugh:

3314853
Now THAT is something I would like to see. So far the action has been minimal, but the few scenes have been done perfectly. Maybe Gentleman J could grace us with a story (even of it's a spin-off) where it's basically Graves+ Shining Armor V.S. C.O.B.R.A. Perhaps the leader could be called Twisted Fate if it's not too much to ask. But I doubt that could happen, Gentleman has shown that action is a rare treat.

3315661
Interesting that you should bring that up. So I'm currently working on the next installment and let's just say it's going to be completely like anything we've seen in the series thus far. For once, we're leaving Ponyville and following Graves on one of his marshal mission.

It's going to be one very special ride. :raritywink:


“Was your father an investment banker?” Argent grinned as he ordered a movie-esque martini mix, shaken not stirred. “Because ma’am, you some spectacular assets.”

...Do lines like that actually work in real life? I hope not.

3318744

They work like a charm if she is sufficiently drunk, and you are sufficiently "cute"/pitiable.

*commences non serious fist shaking* Curse you, I've spent the weekend working my way through every part of The Journey of Graves and enjoying it.

3318744
I know one bloke who almost lost a nut to a very similar line. As it was he walked stooped over long enough to realize the error in his dating technique.

explosions?
blowing up their ship!?
EXPLOSIONS?!
i1.ytimg.com/vi/k_tQXqEoKGo/hqdefault.jpg

“Graves…" Shining Armor smiled. "Has anyone ever told you that you’re absolutely adorable?”
“… Don’t make me punch you.”

I would of said the exact same thing

Paralyzed with fear, Argent could only shiver as the specter pierced his soul with dreadful, iron-cold eyes, trembling as the grim reaper himself uttered a single, simple command:
“Move.”

media.giphy.com/media/FtQVpIldlPuhi/giphy.gif

“It’s just this blasted bowtie. Feels like I’m being strangled by breezies.”

:ajbemused: BUCK YOU BOWTIES ARE COOL!!!
(*.*)
l>o<l

4837434 WHAT HE SAID!! Also, why didn't Pony Stark or the CEO of Mane Enterprises step in to lend a helping hand, eh? :rainbowlaugh:

5304514 Who's to say they didn't? :raritywink:

5304531 ............oh, you're magnificent.....BUT COULDN'T YOU WRITE THAT IN?! OH, the epicness would have been AWESOME!!

5304544 Ah, but that would deprive your imagination of all the spectacularities, wouldn't it? Sometimes, the best stories are the ones left unsaid. :twilightsmile:

Whoa, that was so deep, I can't even see myself anymore.

5304563 What you said, I guess. :rainbowdetermined2:

Okay, (possible former) Captain of the Royal Guard and Prince of the Crystal Empire and eldest son of a high ranking family in the Canterlot Elite doesn't have money for some event tickets? :ajbemused: Somehow, I doubt that.

5591041
I honestly never thought that Twilight's family was very rich, and I'd expect Cadance is one who considers herself more of a stewardess of the empire rather than having any claim to the assets therein. And besides, what's the point of a man buying his wife nice things if she's the one footing the bill?

And besides, have you SEEN a military paygrade? :rainbowlaugh:

5591359 He's still the lead officer. Surely he makes more than the normal grunt.

5591394 And thus instead of getting paid peanuts, he gets the much fancier cashew. :rainbowlaugh:

Man, I REALLY wish we had gotten more out of Graves and SA’s relationship. Some more screen time with these two showing off their bizarre yin-yang dynamic would have been amazing. Every time they or Ironsides are in the same room it’s a good time.

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