When Rainbow Dash crashes into the library looking for the latest Daring Do book, Twilight informs her that the next book won't be in for a week. To help fill the time, Twilight suggests that Dash write a fan fiction. After getting frustrated helping her friend, Twilight gives Dash some paper and a quill and has her leave. What neither one realizes is that the paper is the result of Twilight's latest experiment, making anything written on it into reality. Now Dash's story is going to get all her friends into some strange situations, and it's up to her to stop it before things get out of hoof.
Edit: Now featured in Twilight's Library!
Chapters (4)
Inbteresting concept, worth a read as more chapters get done.
Daring is a stallion in this universe?
Twilight Sparkle - Sunset Shimmer? Really, she can put more effort into it than that, nobody would be... so... unoriginal...
...
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I let that one slip. It shall be fixed though.
Oops! Since I know Daring Do is just pony Indiana Jones, I have to remind myself she's a girl.
I do this kinda review thing every time I read stuff. Please don't take my suggestions too seriously they really are just suggestions, not commands
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you have a Good concept going here and I can't spot any recurring grammatical errors so that's always nice
the dialogue and plot development seem a little guided/hard to believe, mainly because Twilight and rd agree upon the fan fiction idea a little too quickly for the decision to seem natural.
dialogue and narration were well formulated and flowed pretty smoothly. I notice though that you often use labels like: bookworm, pegasus, unicorn, Twi, twilight, Dash, etc. when narrating.
generally I feel that it is a good idea to either:
1:leave out label entirely and rattle dialogue of without specifying speaker(the readers usually can infer this)
2: replace label with pronoun like: her, him or she
can't wait to see the next chapter
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Alright, fair points. I'm never going to knock someone for critiquing or analyzing my story, because I'd love to know what makes people dislike my story, or how I could go from like to favorite, whatever the case may be. And since that's the case, I almost always leave comments on the stories I read. I'm probably better known for that than my actual writing
I'm glad you like the dialogue! I'm always hesitant to go this dialogue-heavy, because it can get so repetitive. Honestly, that's why I kind of leaned on the labels. I tried not to use the same ones too many times, so it probably did become a distraction. The next few chapters probably will look a bit different, since the characters will actually be doing things, (which obviously will tie in to RD's story).
Thanks for the review, and I'd love your thoughts on the rest of it as I write it!
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I'll make sure to drop by and leave comments as the next chapters come out
I have Chapter 2 written and added to here (unpublished). I'm going to sit on that one, just in case I want to change anything. I know there were a few things I would have changed about Chapter 1 had I written this before I posted it. No matter what, I'm going to post Chapter 2 on Friday, because I should have at least Chapter 3 done by then. (It's taking me about 5 hours just to write each chapter, plus editing and proofreading, plus making sure the continuity matches up, since I come up with new ideas as I write.)
At this point, I think this will be four chapters long, plus an epilogue. If I can keep up my pace of one chapter every 2-3 days, this should be done by the 15th, four days before I return to college. That's the latest update. Hope you enjoy this odd little story!
Please upload the next chapter soon!!!
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I will submit it first thing Friday (~8:30am EDT). If I have Chapter 3, that'll be up Saturday, and then the rest of it will be posted as I have it.
I'd have it up now, but I want to make sure, as much as possible, that I can keep the continuity of the story.
Ok, thank u
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I made great progress today, so if tomorrow goes well enough, I might release Chapter 2 in the afternoon. I think Chapter 3 is done, and the story is beginning to wind down. I'm quite pleased with it!
Oh, and I forgot to thank you for reading.
Hope you enjoy the next few chapters 
Im sure I will
h:
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Alright, I appreciate it. I actually didn't think you'd get to this story yet, so I thought you'd be critiquing two or three chapters' worth.
I'm definitely going to go back and rewrite this at some point, once I get better at dialogue. That's really the biggest part of the story, and I could definitely use some work on it. Nobody's really commenting on the comedy aspect of my story. I guess that must need some work too.
YEES.......MOAR
MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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But I thought it was funny 
Yeah, I guess that is a fair point
I think the comedy is gonna be hit-or-miss. I didn't know how good I would be at it, I just wanted to give it a try.
As for my Lavender Unicorn Syndrome, I think I fixed it in every other chapter. Perhaps I went to the opposite extreme, but I minimized the descriptors. Now it's just names and pronouns
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I tried to have more than just references. I'm not sure if any of the jokes I thought up myself were funny or not. For instance, Chapter 1 ends with Twilight trying to give Spike a bath, but I don't know if that was too vaguely suggested. Speaking of Chapter 1, I wanted to have a gag about T and S having a ready supply of windows (since Dash seems to fly through them so often), but I dropped it cause it probably would have broken the pacing
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I should stop reading the comments for "big-time" authors, like Chengar Qordath. People hang on his every joke. He deserves it though, I like Winningverse stories.
Okay
I kind of expected comments about the original jokes, but now that I think about it, references (especially self references) tend to dominate comments more so than original work.
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So the jokes don't suck I guess 
Oh, okay
P.S. Here is one of his stories that I've read. The Winningverse's main characters (more or less) are Cloud Kicker, Blossomforth, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Derpy, and Fluttershy.
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I assume you mean Pinkie?
She's in the story, I just didn't have her play a major role. She's in my other fic, tho, where she arguably gets the most attention. (Seriously, I think her part is the longest.)
At some later date, I may write something for each of the Mane 6. I already have something lined up for Dash. I think it'll be about their backstories: Flutters and Dash in flight school, Pinkie on the rock farm, and AJ in Manehattan. (Twi and Rarity would be hard though.)
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besides beginning are always rough.
Don't be to hard on yourself author-guy, you are a lot better then some of the stories I normally read
something weird about that, can't pinpoint.
probably would have been better to have twilight announce that she is going to look for a crack, or have her stumble upon it accidentally. there is
really no reason why she would assume that there was a crack to be found in the first place
you have the elements of a good joke here, but maybe a different execution is required.
maybe something like: daring sometimes needed to be reminded that "awesomely swinging across pits" wasn't the only application of rope.
hooray for sparse labeling.
clearly twilight knows whats up
I SAW THIS COMING! the moment you mentioned magic paper, was like: "yup, spike is definitely going to steal that diamond.(cant wait to see who rd gets to kiss)
I can tell you made some improvements to your writing, many of the problems that were present in the last chapter have been corrected.
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Rushed through things a little too much.
That sentence will certainly be rewritten. I don't like it one bit.
Hopefully, the epilogue is a bit less predictable. 
Responding to each quote, which I've numbered:
1. Hm. I suppose it is a little bit off. I should have a pre-reader or editor by the time I rewrite this, so I'll ask him or her for an opinion.
2. You're probably right
3. Yeah, I was concerned that might get off-track when I said "proper use of a rope"
4. I think you're talking about the Lavender Unicorn Syndrome I had in Chapter 1. That's all gone now
5. I think she could write a whole dictionary-sized book on risque.
6. Yeah, admittedly, if I were reading this, I could probably see most of the plot twists coming a mile away
Thanks for another chapter analysis!
I'll have another chapter up tomorrow 
ho boy, here we go. As promised I will now post my thoughts on the final two chapters, hope this helps you
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I will be starting from chapter 3:
The beginning of the chapter seems incongruent with the events happening in the chapter before it. Could use a smoother transition.
I really loved this part, pretty well thought out. If I should have written it myself I would have probably added a little segment
where dash contemplates the idea of using the paper to her advantage, instead of just having her come to the conclusion off screen(so to speak).
I also noticed how dash mentioned the paper further down, which kind of makes up for it, but i still think that an explanation should have been present the first time she uses the paper. regardless though it was a great plot device.
cept' he's not technically her brother... right?
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Dash grinned. “I have a plan to do just that, and be way cool at the same time.”
At this point I started getting really excited for the story, a shame you made the last two chapters so short really. If you do get around to rewriting it completely it could probably turn our really nice(although I suspect it would be more fun to leave mistakes in the past in order to explore future ventures)
chapter 4:
I love how dash completely disregards proper storywriting logic in the begginning of the chapter. It just seems like one of those things she would do.
i completely lost it at the part where the traps started splodin'. also what did rd write if it wasn't the "traps went away"?[spoiler/]
This part wasn't too cohesive could have used more explanation on what exactly she created. I assume that a giant stream of rainbow flowed over spikes trail but frankly even if it had been explained better I'm not sure how well it works within the confines of the story.
So to recap, the shortcomings I noticed had to do with: failing to properly convey what was in your head on to paper, incorperating plot devices that are not necessarily beneficial or furthering to the story, writing the story too short, you could have easily kept me interested for another couple of thousand words
and I'm guessing there were some grammar issues in there somewhere, but frankly I suck at finding those.
For a first try this was really good, I was impressed with how you took the critique and managed to implement it in the story, I know how hard that can be. I would like to thank you personally for letting me practice my reviewing skills, and for showing me some of the mistakes that I may make when I get around to trying this out myself
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If you found my reviews helpful it could be arranged to have me send you a pm with my opinions on your other stories if you ever write any(they tend to take up a lot of space in the comment section).
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First off, thank you for reviewing all of this. It is super helpful. If you want, you can join the team of people I will enlist to tell me everything wrong with this fic so I can improve it ~half a year from now, when I rewrite it.
Chapter 3 did get kind of a rough start. My mindset was that I had to get Dash to realize that she had the magic paper and I think I rushed the events starting the chapter in order to make that happen. Admittedly, a lot of it feels rushed now that I look back
Also, technically, Twilight and Spike aren't related, but they're like adopted siblings, so I count them as such.
Chapter 4....I'm not proud of Chapter 4. With the traps, you stumbled upon an abandoned plot point Originally, I was going to have Dash find that she had none of the magic papers, and actually Fluttershy had them. She would write the new Daring Do book after reading Dash's fic. The whole thing was inspired by The Many Secret Origins of Scootaloo.
As for your overall notes, yes, I would have to agree that it lacked sufficient explanation. The total writing time on this was probably ~25 hours, which really isn't a whole lot. Also, I slammed out this whole thing in a week. Mighty impressive, but I did sacrifice quality more than I expected. I would have liked to make it longer, but I dislike writing just to take up space/add words. I self-edited, so I definitely would benefit from someone to tell me what's brilliant, what's stupid, and what could be made brilliant.
Thanks once again for reviewing, I would like you to review my future works.
It was really easy to incorporate advice when you and thesecret1 gave me so much to work with!
Thank you for writing more
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Actually, the ideas in this continuity won't stop. I extended the storyline into a sequel one-shot, The Night Everything Changed and now, I might write a sequel to that. So, hopefully your enjoyment continues 
You're welcome!
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Interesting. I hear the new episode is about daring do... although I'm not 100% sure as I don't read the spoilers.
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I heard about that. I haven't had the chance to watch either of the last two episodes. I actually completely forgot it would be on this morning.
I mulled over the possibility of rewriting this, so maybe I'll think more about it after seeing the episode. I don't plan on doing that anytime soon though.
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I am getting the sense of a fan fiction inside a fan fiction. You didn't watch Inception while reading this did you?
Go on...
Okay, so at least I know you can take some criticism. (By the way, this is a lot more fun to read in Digibrony's voice... just saying).
Not to be too mean, but Spike's conflict didn't have anything to it. I mean, he should be able to say "Rainbow got da magic paper and made me do things I wouldn't normally do" and write the whole thing off as an embarrassing blunder for Dash. Instead we get a weird Rari-Spike with no actual depth to their struggles. I'm not sure if you noticed but there was almost no mention of their inner feelings or descriptions of how their emotions shaped their expressions which leaves it kinda flat.
Also, the story was short enough that in the third chapter you didn't need to sum up the plot in one paragraph as the average reader should be able to connect the dots. Another problem I had was the haphazard way the magic paper was introduced. It left almost no time for the reader to accept its existence and relevance to the story and it almost felt like it was made up on the spot. The only reason why I saw "almost" is because in the short description of the story it says that the magic paper would exist. Why Twilight would be interested in making said paper is a mystery... (probably something to the effect of getting laid.)
That said, it was interesting to reminisce on how it was like when I first started writing fan fics. Hopefully I haven't permanently scarred you emotionally or mentally with my over critical critique.
Now may I be so bold as to ask a favor? You see, I want "Give em' An Inch" to be in Twilight's Library, but every time the incoming folder is unlocked I seem to be asleep and miss it. Would you be so kind as to recommend it for me?
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I realize that this story is not up to par with what I could write now (hence the urge to rewrite it), so I agree with all of your statements. It's probably not bad for a second story, but it's not my best work. It was written in a week, after all.
As for your story, we had the Incoming folder unlocked just a few days ago. It usually ends up unlocked at roughly 10pm or so in Eastern United States time, then gets locked within an hour. Just thought I'd include that for future reference. I'll take a look at your story, since technically the recommendation folders are for stories the admins and contributors would add that aren't on the list. I'm not expecting that to be an issue though.
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But... I'm sleeping when that happens.
Yes, it could be really great if you took your time with it. Still, not bad for a weeks worth of work.
Thank you for trying, I know it's silly, but it would mean a lot if something of mine got featured.
You my friend have inadvertently predicted the future with this title.