Hey all, I'm billymorph, a semi-professional writer, self-published author and full-time pony fan. If you enjoy my work, please support me on Patreon!
Fluttershy assertive? Pinkie Pie clumsy? Rarity distractible? Rainbow Dash doesn't know what's going on in Ponyville, but it's probably Twilight's fault. Can she figure out how to fix things before they get any worse?
Written for GreenPony32's Body Swapping Contest.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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That was enjoyable, but needs one more look over. There are a few minor mistakes. Like when Twilight says it's wonderful her friends are back she says: "This Wonderful" Which doesn't make much sense.
Besides that though, I really liked this.
Not bad. Could have been a bit better though if you stretched out the parts where Twilight had to play each pony a bit longer, with her trying to actually do their tasks.
4616701 Thanks, fixed that one :)
4617801 It's a fair point, one of the issues with writting to a deadline I guess. Though there's a balance to be struck between Twilight's acting ability and Dash's ability to see what's going on infront of her nose.
4621747
No... I just checked it. It's still 'This Wonderful'...
4621795 Whoops. Okay, apparently I needed to unpublish and republish to make that change. Good to know for the future that one.
So let me ask: Is your book on Amazon as full of amateurish grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors as your fanfiction?
Because what I'm seeing here is just embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for you.
4621889 Actually, after editing, you need to make sure you click to save the change for it to show up.
4624128 Hmm, well I spent a few evenings on this story... and three years on the novel. There may be a few differences in quality yes
Still, I should get another proof reading pass in before the contest deadline I think.
4625345 Nonetheless, this is, in a sense, advertising. You're advertising your skills as a writer by showing us freebies with ponies, and if you make mistakes that's going to reflect somewhat poorly on your other works.
That said, your stories are consistently awesome, even if the grammar in most of your stories isn't the best (not atrocious, but your mistakes are noticeable). I'm just noting that by writing stories on a site such as this, you are advertising in such a way that it reflects on your other works.
(This is more for the sake of the people who downvoted Mythril's comment than you, who's nice about it.)
Darn, this story needs more attention because this could have been an episode of the show! Well done!
I think I know what's going on
It was a fun concept, only...
It was too rushed. There was too much to convey in the amount of words that you had, and I feel like this could've used a lot more description. Heck, I had no idea where Rainbow got the idea that Twilight was being Applejack (and everypony else). I'm still confused.
It just didn't work out for me. Have a nice day.
Too many typos for a story of this length but enjoyable none the less.
Writing: 4 / 5 (above average)
Story: 3 / 5 (average)
Well, this was a good read. Definitely above average!
I feel really dumb for not figuring out the bunny thing sooner...GIVEN THE TITLE, but that's on me.
Rarity's mane is actually purple.
Not that important, just thought I'd mention.