When Big Mac's mother and father died, Mac was forced to drop out of school to take care of work on the farm. As such, he never got the chance to learn how to read. It had been a lifelong struggle for him, until accompanying Apple Bloom to Parent Teacher Night provided him an opportunity to learn. As Cherilee teaches Mac how to read the words on the page, he also learns how to read the words in his own heart. Mac never realized that being able to read would give him so much happiness, until he realizes that it's Cherilee he loves, not just the books. He realizes that anything is possible as long as you have the support of somepony who loves you.
NEW EDITION! RE-EDITED AND PARTIALLY REWRITTEN! YAY!
Big Mac X Cherilee, nonexplicit, sweet fluffy oneshot. Somewhat different than my usual tone, but I needed a fluff piece to keep me sane. Also, THERE IS NOT ENOUGH BIG MAC X CHERILEE FICS. FIX THIS, SOMEPONY.
OK, one, I don’t know how many times I have said this, but:
“This is how you write a quotation,” he said. –Comma, lower case unless superseded by another rule (such as a name).
I see that so much.
The story is pretty good. There are interesting touches here and there, implying Big Mac was illiterate instead of just coming out and saying it at first. It’s a characterization that I enjoy for him, especially when handled as something he is ashamed of, even when it’s not his fault. This is a fic where it’s pretty well handled.
There are a few places of exposition, some that are not needed (such as Scootaloo’s family situation doesn’t need any depth) and Big Mac explaining it. I think Cherilee suspecting he couldn’t read (possibly even seeing this before with other earth ponies), and quietly taking him aside, then he explains the situation, but that’s just me. This is only me personally, but I like when characters explain something, like Cherilee somehow explaining the living situation to Big Mac or the like. Granted, I get heat from EqD for that, so… it’s your style. I feel like it could have been better intergrated, such as Scootaloo being a bit depressed or melancholy because it's Parent-Teacher Night, no doubt a sensative time for her. Perhaps on the way there, Big Mac could have stumbled upon Scootaloo crying, and given her a ride as the situation was explained.
Reading the scene with Granny Smith now… Good scene. Good emotions. Funny, while at the same time heart breaking. His later comments, where he explains how his parents died are well handled. It’s the example of what I like: the expositions built into dialogue, which I find flows more naturally. Granny seems slightly malicious though, beyond just senile and almost being a huge jerk.
I like that Rainbow Dash mentions the silent “k” stumped her for a while too. Kinda an interesting line, since I wonder when Rainbow Dash became literate. Trying to remember back to the episode, didn’t she kind of stumble along with words? Even if that wasn't your intention, it's a nice touch.
Alright, still reading. Ah, the difficulty of writing with a quill as an earth pony. I’ve had to experience that time and time again. Nice touch, Sweetie Bell using her magic. Good call back that they are both practicing with something they don't do well.
Awe, sweet ending. My heart explodes with gushes. For a minute, I thought Cherilee was going to become an Alicorn, since that’s all the rage now a days.
Well, there’s the problem with the grammar, as I explained above. Anything else is just my opinion, and I’ve gotten heat for how I write, so take only what you feel is useful and nothing more. I like this pairing more than Big Mac and Fluttershy.
Well done, all and all. Thumbs Ups.
All together now!
D'AWWWWWWWWWW!
A great story!
2849014
Wow, goodness. Thank you so much on your comment to this story. I loved every word of it. You're right, I do have a bit of a problem with quotes, but I'm working on it to the best of my ability. And your touch on what I could have done for Scootaloo's story is a much better idea than the background depth I provided for it. I wish I could have thought of that myself. I guess I was just focused on keeping the focus of the "shot" so to speak, on Mac himself and his inner thoughts.
The scene with Granny Smith wasn't really meant to be malicious, but I suppose looking back it could be seen that way. I guess I was kind of integrating Granny's canon personality with some people I know personally, who can at times be unintentionally harsh, and it came off as Granny sounding like a huge jerk. I more meant it to be that Granny honestly didn't notice the Cutie Mark Crusaders in the room, and was more talking to herself than trying to be mean to her grandson. I actually originally had another line in there that kind of softened it up a little (It read "But Ah'm glad yer finally takin' the initiative, boy. Doin' yer papa proud every day."), but it didn't really flow well and was kind of redundant in my eyes so I threw it out. Maybe I should have kept it in?
Also, no, of course I wasn't going to make Cherilee an Alicorn. That would be just silly. What would she be the Princess of? Learning? I think we already have a little bookworm Princess in canon already. :P
I found everything that you told me useful AND helpful. I'll take your notes into account on the next piece I write. Thank you again so much for your comment, it means so much to me that you read into the story as much as you did. And I'm very glad you liked it.
2849025
Thanks so much! I'm glad to see that a cute fluffy piece I wrote in the span of two days has gotten more than one person's D'aww-feels in a bunch. :D
2849063
I'm not entirely sure what this means, but I'm going to assume it's a compliment and say thank you for it anyway. Thank you! :D
This story warms my heart and fills my mouth with joyous vomit.
if(cute==true)
boolean mouthVomit = true
2849144
I'm best at writing short one-shots like this. That's why it takes months in between chapters of Reformed Romanticism, because I tend to lose interest in longer stories. If you go to my account on fanfiction.net (under the name Droiture LeReve), you'll find that most of my completed and/or best-recieved stories are one-shots.
I'm truly glad you enjoyed it as much as you did. I hope you'll stick around to see what I post next!
2849162
Yay for adora-barf! I imagine you are puking up rainbows and sparkles as we speak.
As Admin of the CheeriMac group I hereby accept this story into the group. Yes we need more CheeriMac, but also we need more sweet tales such as this.
2849192
Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh--!
Wow, thank you so much! I never thought that it was good enough for that!
Thank you!
Damn, I think I got a cavity from the sweetness of this
and why am I feeling like I've got to pull a Discord on this wonderful piece of work
.
This really is good work, thought I think the finish with the princesses was a little too strong (and saccharine, hence cavities). That and the one night extreme makeover schoolhouse edition express
? Also the reference about Miss Cheerilee falling asleep in Mac's hooves the night after the letter was sent seemed to cut against the grain you established elsewhere, 
though it's plainly evident where you wanted it to go with the piece. The only truly serious character fault I can find is with the disproportionate ability assigned to Mac regarding his academic aptitudes given that his reading level appears to be below the first grade level, but he is able to balance the fiances of the farm (with AJ reading the bills for him) indicating a much higher level of accomplishment.
Overall I'll give this a good
with a 
for cuteness.
As to your request for more CheeriMac I'll see what comes after my current project ends.
2849433
Yeah, the ending with the princesses is meant to be as sickeningly sweet as possible. I needed something cavity-inducing in my life.
Really? You found Mac's abilities disproportionate? Yeah, I guess I can see that. Then again, I see the reverse all the time, i.e., myself. I can read ridiculously well, but math and science might as well be written in Babylonian to me. I can't stand them. I figured it could also work the other way around.
The reference to Cherilee falling asleep in Mac's arms was meant to come off more as sweet. Like, maybe they stayed up late reading together and just fell asleep that way. But I guess I could have explained it better.
About the one-night schoolhouse makeover: They're MAGIC PRINCESSES. MAAAAGIIICCC. There's no saying that Luna couldn't have, maybe, kept the moon up to make the night last longer while they finished it, or maybe finished it quickly due to their IMMENSE MAGICAL POWERS. But I'm not going to pick at it, I'm just glad that you liked my story.
Dude........that was awesome.
(*Ahem* If I might offer two comments, in addition to the ones Exilo pointed out?)
(Go ahead, Miss Cheerilee.)
(Well... first, I'm afraid I'd have to mark down any student who wrote "She's really coming far!" in an essay. That's just not right, grammatically; you have a predicate consisting of two adjectives, "coming" and "far", with no noun for them to modify.)
(I think the author may have mistakenly thought either "coming" was a verb, or that "far" is a noun, Miss Cheerilee.)
(I expect you're right. Anyway, it would be more correct to say "She's coming along very well!", or "She's come so far this past year!", or something similar to that.)
(What else?)
(Second... my name is "Miss Cheerilee", with two "E"s in "Cheer", not one.)
(Noted.)
2849068
And yeah, I think it might have been better to leave in that last line to soften Granny Smith's words, on the whole. Granted, she's an elderly mare who probably didn't mean it as harshly as it sounded, but it did come off sounding a bit harsh.
Aside from that, I liked it.
I can only assume that there aren't as many Cheerilee/Mac stories out there partly because most people want to write about the main characters, not the secondaries, and partly because it's not as easy to come up with scenarios that would put them together without seeming artificially contrived.
I AGREE, MORE CHEERIMAC.
2849176
Thanks for replying! Hey, if you want, you can check out the first chapter of my story!
hope im not asking much
2850130
The character slot for Cherilee on FiMfiction's search bar has it spelled with one E, not two. I don't know why, but it does. Check it for yourself in the browse bar. I understand some people use two E's, and personally I prefer that spelling, but I did it with one because that's how FiMfiction spells it (of course, if I'm wrong, then I apparently can no longer read properly and disregard that entire statement.)
Also, "coming" is a verb. To come. I come, he comes, they're coming, etc. In what universe is "coming" an adjective?
Consider this example: The coming heron. "Coming" does not imply that "coming" is a physical trait of the heron, as that clearly makes no sense. It implies that the heron is coming, as in, it's traveling to your location. It is something the heron is doing, not something the heron is being.
To say that Apple Bloom is "coming really far", it's implying that she's somewhere ahead of where she was before. That is to say, she traveled from a metaphorical location of ineptitude to one of aptitude. She came far to get to where she is.
Also, "far" is in fact a noun, though an abstract one. A noun is defined as any person, place, or idea, even metaphorical ideas, as is the concept of "far". Apple Bloom traveled, i.e. she came, far from her original metaphysical location in space and time to the one she is in now. She came far. Although, "far" can also be considered an adjective, adding more description to the concept of where Apple Bloom came from. It's one of those weird in-the-middle words.
I don't consider my choice of words in that sentence to be a grammatical error at all. Perhaps you and I have differing views on the concept of grammar?
However, I did find your point of view interesting, and I am very glad you liked the story as a whole.
I hope you'll continue to stick around and we can talk about language again sometime. I'm not being sarcastic, I mean it. I find your points of view interesting. 
2850219
Not at all! I'll check it out as soon as I have a chance.
2850153
FINALLY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS
2849954
Why thank you, my friend. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
As a CheeriMac writer myself, I do say this is a good idea for them.
Nice work.
2851197
Oddly enough, yes, FIMFiction does spell it with one "E" -- but unfortunately, FIMFiction is incorrect in this, as every official piece of MLP:FIM merchandise (toys, books, etc.), and the show's official Hubworld web site all spell it as "Cheerilee". So I'm pretty sure FIMfiction's spelling is a typo.
Well... that would be the universe in which The American Heritage Dictionary says:
(Oh, dang, here we go, someone went and punched his "persnickerty" buttons again.)
(Quiet, you.)
coming – adj. 1. Approaching next. 2. Showing promise of success.
and in which Funk & Wagnall's Standard Desk Dictionary says:
coming – adj. 1. Approaching, esp. in time: the coming year. 2. On the way to fame or distinction. –n. The act of approaching; arrival; advent.
and in which the Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged says:
coming – adj 1. (prenominal) (of time, events, etc.) approaching or next: this coming Thursday. 2. promising (esp in the phrase up and coming) 3. of future importance: this is the coming thing.
–n 1. arrival or approach. 2. (Ecclesiastical) the return of Christ in glory: the Second Coming.
Similarly, "far" is an adjective or an adverb, but not a noun. Again, The American Heritage Dictionary says:
far – adv. farther or further, farthest or furthest. 1. To, from, or at a considerable distance. 2. To or at a specific distance or degree. 3. To a considerable degree; much: far better. 4. Not at all: far from happy. –as far as: To the extent that: as far as I know. –by far: to a considerable or evident degree. –far and away: Definitely. –go far: 1. To be successful. 2. To last a long time. 3. To tend strongly.
—adj. farther or further, farthest or furthest 1. Distant: a far country. 2. More distant; opposite: the far corner. 3. Long: a far trek.
Funk & Wagnall's Standard Desk Dictionary
far – adv. 1. At, to, or from a great distance. 2. To or at a particular distance, point, or degree. 3. To a great degree; very much: far wiser. 4. Very remotely in degree, quality, time, etc.: far from pleasant. –as far as: To the distance, extent, or degree that. –by far: in a great degree; very much. –far and away: very much; decidedly. –far and wide: distantly and extensively; everywhere. –to go far: 1. To accomplish much; have success. 2. To last a long time, or cover a great extent. 3. To tend strongly.
—adj. farther or further, farthest or furthest 1. Very remote in space or time. 2. Extending widely or at length. 3. More distant: the far end of the garden.
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged:
far – adv. farther or further, farthest or furthest
1. To, from, or at considerable distance: a cat that had strayed far from home. 2. To or at a specific distance, degree, or position: Just how far are you taking this argument? 3. To a considerable degree; much: felt far better yesterday; eyes that seemed far too close together. 4. Not at all; anything but: seems far from content; a test of strength that was far from a failure. 5. To an advanced point or stage: a brilliant student who will go far.
–adj. farther or further, farthest or furthest
1. Being at considerable distance; remote: a far country. 2. Going back a considerable extent in time: the far past. 3. More distant than another: the far corner. 4. Extensive or lengthy: a far trek. 5. Far-seeing and comprehensive in thought or outlook: a commander of far vision. 6. Marked by political views of the most advanced or extreme nature: the far right; the far left. 7. Being on the right side of an animal or a vehicle. 8. Being the animal or vehicle on the right.
Sooooo... sorry. "She's really coming far." breaks down to:
She (subject noun)
---
is (verb)
---
really (adverb)
coming (adjective or noun)
far (adjective or adverb)
is grammatically incorrect, because you can't use the adverb "really" to modify either the adjectival or noun form of "coming", nor can the adjectival form of "coming" be used to modify either form of "far", and placing the noun form of "coming" in between two adverbs (or an adverb and an adjective) in the predicate is incorrect.
(Wow... and people think I obsess over details...)
(You do obsess over details, sugarcube. He's just th' one armed with three dictionaries an' a thesaurus next to his keyboard.)
(...only three?)
(Plus a complete set of The New Webster's Deluxe Reference Library: Thesaurus, Spelling Dictionary, Fingertip Factfinder, Dictionary, and Grammar Guide)
(Careful there, darlin', you're gettin' her all excited...)
(APPLEJACK!)
(Wait -- he's got dinosaurs on his desk? Awesome!)
(No, you dodo, a "thesaurus" is a book you use to look up words that mean the same as other words.)
(...I knew that.)
(Say goodnight, Scootaloo.)
(Goodnight, Scootaloo!)
2851855
....Alright, now you're just plain showing off.
I like you, bro, don't ruin it. Pretend Cheerilee's brain shut down for a second as she was writing the letter. It was a form letter sent to all her students. She probably wrote it fast. She's an elementary school teacher. It doesn't need to be dictionary-perfect; she just needed to get her point across. You're kinda looking way too closely at a piece of fan literature about candy-colored ponies. Plus, Big Mac can't read anyway, what does he care?
Also, I know FiMFiction is wrong, but I saw the spelling and I ran with it. I figured, "Hey, why the hell not?"
....Apparently I am more of a philosophical and conversational writer than I am a dictionary-perfect one, and I'm sorry. But hey, I never claimed to be perfect. I just claim to be AWESOME.
ENJOY YOUR TALE OF CANDY-COLORED PONIES FROLICKING IN THE SUNSHINE. OBSESS NOT OVER DETAILS. YAY! *tosses confetti into the air*
No, but seriously, you make a good point, albeit in kind of a.... forceful way. (Okay, let's be honest here, you're kind of dipping your toe into the "sort of a douche" end of the pool). I self-taught myself a lot of, if not all of, my writing techniques, and sometimes self-teaching yourself comes with some sacrifices in actual ability. I HAD to self-teach myself, though, as there was nopony competent enough around in the town in which I live to teach me properly. It was all reading other works of fiction and compiling my own style around it.
So you do make a very valid point, and now I understand where you're coming from. But while you do, in fact, make a valid point on a perfectionary level, I also make a good point on a conversational and metaphorical level.
Let's let bygones be bygones and enjoy our pony fanfiction, kay?
2851748
Why, thank you.
I'm glad you enjoy it!
Loved your story, I thought it was sweet and very well written (despite some of the comments on the grammar, a few faults make the dialog seem more genuine *in my opinion at least)
2852381
2852190
Well... one reason "why not", I suppose, is that anyone searching for "Cheerilee" won't find your story in the search engine.
Eh, I know I have a tendency to info-dump. When you said "in what universe is 'coming' an adjective?", though, that kind of set me off, because that's usually the kind of question I get from people who will refuse to believe even basic, easily-demonstrable facts (like "Graceland is in Memphis, not Nashville", or "Cell phones did not exist in 1965"
) unless you give them chapter and verse from a dozen different sources (and sometimes not even then), and that sort of thing just aggravates me to no end. If only there were some easily-accessable tool which could be used to search for information...
Plus, it just seemed like a questionable bit of characterization, too. I don't know what your elementary-school teachers were like, but mine were absolute sticklers for the rules, far more so than some of the ones I had in high school! (Probably because younger children generally need the rules spelled out concisely and strictly, with as few exceptions as possible, because they don't really have enough experience under their belts to make subtle distinctions and complex judgements yet.) It just seemed like a schoolteacher would know better than to make such an obvious grammatical howler, if for no other reason than that it might make some parents wonder just how well that teacher actually knew her subjects if she was making mistakes like that in written correspondance. I know if my kid came home with a note from their teacher that had obvious errors in it, I'd be checking my kid's homework a lot more closely...
(Casual conversation is another matter, of course; not even schoolteachers will self-edit every word they say for grammatical accuracy when they're just chatting over lunch.
Twilight might do it –)
(HEY!)
(– but she's obsessive-compulsive that way.)
(I keep telling you, I am not crazy! My mother had me tested!)
(Aw, c'mon, sugarcube, you know we still love ya.)
(*hmf*)
(Even if ya are a bit nuts sometimes.)
(Applebucking season. Three years ago.)
(...Ah thought we agreed not to talk about that.)
2853811
Just typing "Che" in the search block brings up two character results: Cheerilee and Cherry Jubilee. So, they don't even have to search "Cheerilee" to find Cheerilee. Just "Che".
I can understand how my question about whether or not "coming" was an adjective could have set you off. I, however, am the type of person who will easily sway to your side of an argument with just a few small convincing pieces of truth. I understand your reaction, as rereading my question made me realize that I did, indeed, come off as a bit of a narrow-minded bitch. I also understand the type of people who require eighty-five billion different sources and then still aren't convinced you're right (coughcoughmymothercoughcough).
My elementary school experience was a bit of an odd one. I had a severe speech impediment in the first grade due to my baby teeth growing in all weird combined with my weird giant IQ and vocabulary for a six year old (Most six year olds generally do not know what the words "calefacient" or "gelid" mean, I've been told, nor can most six year olds sit down with a college physics book and read it as if it were Nancy Drew), so I required a special education teacher specializing in speech problems in children, as well as an advanced study course. In the second and third grades, I was so wildly ahead of my peers that from the fourth grade on I was in specially advanced courses, until middle school happened and my whole life went south. So I honestly can't say that my experiences in elementary school have any impact on my characterization of Cheerilee, because I'm not entirely sure what a "normal" elementary school teacher is as all of mine have been either college professors masquerading as elementary school teachers or the village hobo masquerading as an elementary school teacher.
Plus, most parents these days aren't English majors to that degree as to notice a grammatical error of that scale on their child's letter from school. Heck, around my area, I consider myself lucky when I can find a person who speaks English at all. You will never understand the sheer volume of Hatian-Creole speakers in my area until you walk through my city in the middle of the day and hear literally one person speak English to you all day. In a city with almost 200,000 residents, maybe 15% of the population speaks English as a first language, regardless of race, and most of the people who do speak English were born and raised here as second generation Americans, the children of people who don't speak English as a first language. So I didn't really have a lot of dictionary-perfect learning growing up, as I mentioned before. I was very largely self-taught.
This ties into my theories about pony society and pony culture, as it seems that many of the ponies in Ponyville are self-taught in their trades. Rarity appears to be entirely self-taught, if the fashion choices of her parents are any indication, Applejack has the advantage of having done one thing for her entire life, Rainbow Dash is a weather pony, but she is clearly self-taught in racing, Fluttershy is self-taught in communicating with animals, and Pinkie Pie, while getting tutelage from the Cakes on baking skills, is an entirely self-sufficient party pony. Twilight appears to be largely self-taught in magic, with Celestia acting more of a guide or a mentor than a true "teacher" of the subject, and yes, I consider mentors and teachers to be different things.
So, it makes sense to me that, if most of the ponies in Ponyville taught themselves to perform the craft they do for a living, then it makes sense that Cheerilee is also self-taught in how to teach fillies and colts, and if the "backwater" status of Ponyville is any indication, then Cheerilee probably did not get access to the most accurate or high-tech of learning tools when she was teaching herself to teach others. So it makes sense to me that Cheerilee would make such a mistake, if she were a self-taught elementary school teacher in a backwater town like Ponyville. As smart as Cheerilee is, she probably would have never noticed her error, having come from a town where such errors are considered correct and/or permissible simply due to the lack of knowledge about the "proper" way to write. She probably, literally, just didn't know any better.
And now I'm looking way too far into the metaphorical and philosophical implications behind a story about frolicking candy-colored ponies.
Wow, wow. That.... was... AWESOME!!
Really. I loved every word of it, and it was so well-written. You captured the characters' personalities almost immaculately, and just the body of the story and the plot line was just fantastic. The length of the story was about perfect, but I was disappointed to see it end.
)
A sequel then? Somehow, I don't think a sequel would work out too well. No, it ended nicely.
Probably one of the best shipfics I've ever read. (and probably one of the most suitable for all ages
I'm totally looking forward to more stories from you!
~Fireball
2854500
Wow, really? That's so nice! Thank you so much! It really makes me happy to see comments like this, especially on fics like this. I'm glad you had such a good time reading it, and I'm so happy to have you join the Ice Dancer bandwagon. I want to tell you, however... My posting schedule is very, very random, and very, very strange. You may have months in which I don't even log in at all, and then a volley of like five new chapters to various things posted in the span of like, a day or two. I'm really weird.
Wow... this is... wow. I enjoyed reading this fic immensely. This is postively a fave now and I will probably mention your fanfic in mine (well, one of its sequels, anyway). I am putting this in my fancanon because it is THAT good.
2856339
I would love to read the story you reference mine in. I love being the source of other people's headcanon.
2856347 Well, it won't come fr a while, but eventually ^^;.
Only thing would be Twilight won't be an alicorn. (I have nothing against Twilicorn, but the stories' events diverge from canon so she wouldn't be a princess by that point anyway)
2856395
That's fine. I wouldn't ask you to change your canon to fit mine. I just have a habit in television and fanfics that if a certain point has passed in the series, then it's passed already in my headcanon. So, because Magical Mystery Cure has already aired and Twilicorn exists, every fanfic I write now (except for Reformed Romanticism, because that was started before Magical Mystery Cure was aired) that has Twilight in it will be Twilicorn.
Fantastic story, I loved it. It was so sweet, and I loved the added bonus of having Mac read Daring Do with Dashie.
It was adorable and very well written!
And it legit took me halfway through the story to realize that you were spelling her name as 'Cherilee' instead of 'Cheerilee'.
So...Cute!
The southern accent got a little out of hand there occasionally, but it was tolerable.
Also, not one time did I even notice that you were spelling it "Cherilee" instead of the universally accepted "Cheerilee". I only found out by reading it in the comments section.
2857085
2857822
I spelled it that way because of FiMFiction's way of spelling it in the browser search bit. I don't know. Seemed like an idea at the time.
There needs to be more cute/heartwarming histories of this pairing,indeed.
Splendid job
How sweet! Good job on this fic.
“Oh! How sweet. Well, just between you and me, Big Mac is one of the sweetest and most gentlemanly stallions I've ever met.
You see, I want to favorite it. I really do.
But the whole thing about Cheerilee being the best teacher in all of Equestria because she taught Big Mac to read?
I... I can't... I just can't...
I'm sorry, Have my like, but not my favorite,
I liked this. I really can get behind this story you had about Big Mac being illiterate from being pulled out of school on tough times. It also adds a new layer of character to him about his silence. He is scared to talk because it may show others just how uneducated he feels he is. It is quite touching actually.
There are a few things however that keep me from favoriting it that have probably been mentioned before, so please pardon me if these have been said before:
1. Those edit markers. I know you want to give credit were credit is due, but please put them at the end. It really took me out of my stride when I was really enjoying it.
2. Scootaloo's story: The Scootaloo sub-plot felt completely unnecessary and had no weight on the final outcome of the story. It may have been intended for Cherilee's actions for Scootaloo to drive home just how good a pony she really is, but I don't think it is done well enough. Scootaloo makes a big thing about being a flightless pegasus in the first scene but the next time she mentions being flightless, she talks likes if it "ain'ta thang". Even after that, it is not even mentioned again. Not even in the letter to Celestia (where I think it should have been mentioned). The Scootaloo drama could have been dropped entirely (and even made into its own story) and the story would have been just as sweet, if not better without the excess fat.
I hope I wasn't too harsh
, but this story was good and could be much better with a little more touching up.
Please keep up the good writing.
Meanwhile, in the mind of Sweetie Belle:
I called it! I freaking called it!
I agree. We do need more Big Mac x Cherilee fanfics. However I don't how Applebloom would react to her teacher being her sister in law if they get married.
It is not a'int no matter what accent they have I'm southern and it is pronounced ain't