• Published 9th Jul 2013
  • 12,228 Views, 370 Comments

Humans in Equestria - Dyon



Two average males find themselves suddenly taken to Equestria by a freak happening, and are quick to learn that it isn't anything like what they had hoped. Now having been turned into children they have to navigate the world and find their way h

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An Unpleasant Meeting

“Ummmmmm,” I said, trying to catch my brain up to the situation. The sound of the door closing behind me made me turn to see that Feather Duster had just left us all alone with the mare, still pleasantly sitting in her chair. This was it, we were dead.

She was using that fake pony smile that I had seen way too many times before. What had I done? My mind raced, trying to track down the instance that lead to this exact moment. Had I inadvertently let something slip, tipping off whomever it was that this mare obviously worked for? I had gotten too relaxed, that had to be it. I had let my little mask slip at some point, raised suspicions, and now somepony was here to investigate.

Canterlot! Cheerilee had said that South Wind was from Canterlot. A government investigator. She had to be, it made too much sense. She had run into the two of us yesterday as well, that was just too coincidental. Had she planned that to happen, so that she could scope out her targets beforehand, get a baseline about what the two of us were like. She had even sat in on one of our classes, and I had been dumb enough to just ignore her reason for being there. Why did I ever think that I could just pretend to be some kind of prodigy and not raise a shitload of suspicion? I obviously didn’t belong, you would have to be blind not to see it and the worst part was…

Steel jabbed me in the side, bringing me back to the present, and making me realize that I had just been staring at South Wind for the last minute or two. “Dude, you need to calm down,” he whispered to me.

I looked between him and the mare in the chair. Who was now writing something down on that pad of hers! “How can I calm down,” I whispered back. “We’re screwed, this is the end for us. Oh cruel world and all that bullshit.”

“Why don’t we actually find out what is going on before we dig our own graves, hm?” he deadpanned. Before I could reply he walked over to the couch just in front of South Wind, and jumped up onto it to take a seat.

I stared at him furiously before I too walked over to the couch and jumped up into it. I sat down, alternating my glare between South Wind and Steel. I didn’t have any idea what was going on, but I knew for a fact that it couldn’t be anything good. An assumption that was only proven all the more true as South Wind’s horn glowed just a little brighter than it already was just before a rush of blue washed over Steel and I, leaving me feeling strangely tingly and more than a little panicked.

“Hey what was that!” I shouted at her, standing on the couch to try and gain a more intimidating stance. I doubted that it affected the mare how I wanted it too though.

“It was just a simple scanning spell, it is nothing to worry about I promise you,” she replied, still trying to wear that fake mask of kindness. I could swear that I saw it breaking piece by piece.

“Simple scanning spell. Simple scanning spell! That was assault lady! You have no permission to do whatever you want to me!” I screamed.

“Ash, calm down,” Steel pleaded, trying to force me into sitting back on the couch, but I just wrestled myself from his grasp, and pushed him away to create a little bit of distance between us.

“I will not calm down!” I yelled back at him. How could he not see what was happening here!

The pad and quill that South had been levitating were gently set down on the coffee table between where she was sitting in her chair, and the couch that the two of us were on, as her horn also stopped glowing. She held up her hooves in a submissive manner as she sat back in her chair once she had finished disarming herself.

“Okay Ashen Stroke, no magic. I won’t use magic in here if you do not want me to. I am not here to make you uncomfortable,” she said with all of the mock sincerity that she could muster.

I pointed my hoof at her, ready to follow it up with some kind of declaration, only to find that no words would form in my mind. I had no ingenious and witty thing to say, so with a simple gesture of moving my hoof back and forth between my eyes and her I sat back down on the couch. “I’m watching you lady.”

“I will have to remember that,” she said, stifling a giggle behind one of her hooves.

I crossed my legs in front of me and turned my head to look out the window. It was certainly far more interesting, and it was highly unlikely to try and zap me with something, although that pane in the top left corner did look awfully suspicious.

“I’m sorry about Ash,” Steel began, “he’s just...well. I guess that’s just how he is.”

“No need to apologize,” she replied very diplomatically. “He did nothing wrong by expressing himself. I hope you know that I don’t hold it against you at all, Ashen Stroke.”

I continued to look through the window. There was a pair of blue jays happily doing bird things in a tree just outside of the office. They would chirp at each other, and since this was Equestria I had to assume that they were actually able to speak with one another somehow. I was sure that whatever they had to say to each other was far more fascinating than any of the words I was hearing at the moment.

“So, Mrs. South Wind…” Steel said.

“You can just call me South Wind, or South if you prefer Steel, if I may call you Steel that is,” she said, cutting him off mid question.

“Uh yeah, sure. Anyways South, I was going to ask what you are doing here and what you wanted to talk to us about,” he replied. My ear may have swiveled in her direction at the question.

“A very good question Steel,” she complimented. “I work for the kingdom, and it is my job to go all around Equestria and speak with little colts and fillies that are found, and do not have a home. When Mayor Mare sent word back to Canterlot that there were two colts found near the edge of Ponyville, I was contacted and made my way here as quickly as possible so that I could speak with you two.”

“Oh,” Steel said simply, as he sat back against the back of the couch.

“So Steel, Ash, I was hoping that you could…”

“What was that scan for?” I purposefully and rudely interrupted.

“What?” she asked, trying to seem like she didn’t have any idea what I was talking about.

“That scan. You know, when you pushed your blue magic all over me and my brother without asking for permission. What were you looking for? You had to be looking for something, so what was it?” I pressed.

She picked up her quill and pad once again, making sure not to use her magic to do so since she seemed sure that would only agitate me more, and it most definitely would have. It seemed that the quill was also magic, since she just picked it up in her hoof and was able to scribble something down on that pad of hers. She didn’t even have to dip it in ink or anything!

“It was just a simple scanning spell like I said, I just wanted to make sure that you two were healthy so…” she tried to explain.

“DON’T LIE TO ME!” I exploded, jumping up from my sitting position on the couch. I wasn’t exactly sure how I knew she was lying, sure the explanation was flimsy and could easily be disputed, but I was entirely certain that she had just been trying to lie to me. It was almost like I could just smell it on her, hear it in the way that she inflicted her voice towards the end of that sentence, see it in the way that she flinched back from me when I screamed at her.

“Don’t lie to me,” I repeated, calming myself somewhat and sitting back in the couch. “I can tell when you lie.” Her quill flew over the pad she was holding once more, her eyes never leaving me. I heard Steel whisper something under his breath, but I didn’t quite make out what it had been.

“Very well, Ash. As a show of good faith I will tell you, even though I am not supposed to,” she said after she finished writing.

“Yeah we’ll see about that,” I replied.

She sighed. “That was a spell to see if you were a changeling or not. Obviously the two of you passed, but it is protocol for me to do that spell whenever I am meeting with new children,” she explained.

I stared back at her for a few long seconds, trying to decide on whether or not I believed her little explanation. I turned to Steel, arching an eyebrow at him while he looked back at me and shrugged. The explanation did make a bit of sense, and the more that I thought about it, it would probably be a good idea to make sure that orphans wandering around weren’t just changelings in disguise trying to get some sympathy. Not that I actually had anything against changelings, but orphanages and foster homes were likely their biggest targets.

“Alright,” Steel said, breaking my reverie. “Why weren’t you supposed to tell us about that then?”

“Good question,” I agreed.

“Well for one, we don’t want to needlessly scare children that have already been through a great ordeal,” she replied. “But that is a conversation that can be had later. What I originally asked you two to be brought here to talk about is much more important.” I flinched back at her words. She flipped over a page on that pad of hers before setting her quill against the new page.

“Okay, I have what Spring Shine wrote down when she talked to you two, but I was hoping that you would talk to me yourselves. You two grew up in Manehattan, is that correct?” she asked. I glanced at Steel, and he just stared back at me. I knew that our story would be put under scrutiny eventually, even though I had sincerely hoped that it wouldn’t, and now it seemed like I was going to have to try and fool another pony with some fake sob story.

“Yes,” I said slowly. “We uh, yeah we grew up there.”

“Thank you,” South said as she scribbled something down on her pad. “Where did you two live in Manehattan?”

I of course had no idea how to answer this. I had only been to Manhattan once so I had no idea what any of the streets actually were, or if they paralleled any similarities between this world’s metropolis or the one that I came from. I shrugged, “South Side,” I said simply. The south side of any city was always the poorest right? Being from the wrong side of the tracks might earn us some more sympathy as well as helping us build a better cover.

The momentary frown that South gave me told me that I had likely been right with the south side of town not being the greatest. That, or whatever I had said was an obvious fabrication and she knew that I was flat out lying to her now. Either way, there wasn’t any taking back of the statement so I would just have to try and build a better story around that one detail.

“I see.” More writing on that pad of hers, it didn’t seem she was likely to stop anytime soon. “Tell me about your life in Manehattan. What was it like at your house, what were your parents like?”

I paused for a minute, the air in the conference room weighing heavily on me as I tried to organize my thoughts. I caught sight of Steel just staring at me forlornly, obviously not intending to jump into the middle of this conversation at any point, which I was immensely grateful for. This tale that I was about to spin would be what made or broke us, if I messed up even one thing then that would probably be it for us.

“It was…” I began somewhat hesitantly, “it was not that bad. I don’t remember dad, mom said that he was in the guard or something and had died a long time ago while undercover on some mission. Mom was awesome though, she would take care of me and Steel all the time, even on nights that she had to work extra late for Mr. Biggs.” The story had just finished crystallizing in my mind, and I had to try really hard to suppress a grin. To say that I was more than a little pleased with myself would have been an understatement. Still, the telling of the story would be the most important part.

“Oh, really? Who is Mr. Biggs?” she asked. Biggs was the easiest name that had come to mind, and since it was something that could have easily been an alias I didn’t think that there would be too much of a problem when they never found him.

“Mr. Biggs was mom’s boss,” I replied simply.

“Yes dear, but who is he. What is he like or what does he look like?”

“Oh, he is a big mean unicorn that would come to the house and yell at mom about money.” Painting the villain of our little story as a unicorn might make her feel a little bit guilty, which would only pay off for the two of us. “He would throw stuff around all the time, he even hit mom with a vase once.” I glared back at South trying to make her see some of the fake anger that I was trying to muster. “But he didn’t do that again.”

“And why is that?” she asked, seeming far too comfortable with the question than I would have expected.

“Because I wouldn’t let him!” I answered immediately. She looked back at me, and then over to Steel, prompting me to do the same. He was just sitting there, staring at me in the most bored fashion that I could imagine.

“I see,” she said as she began writing something down on her paper once again. As soon as her eyes left the two of us, turning her attention to her musings, I elbowed Steel in the side.

“Look upset you idiot,” I whispered, my voice just barely audible so that they pony across from us wouldn’t hear me. “That’s all you have to do, just look upset.” He blinked at me a few times, before it dawned on him that this might be an emotional scenario for a couple of children to be in. He bit his lip, and glanced back at South Wind uneasily. He would need to do a bit more than that to help us get through this, but it wasn’t too bad for a start.

She looked up again once she was finished writing. “And what did your mother do for Mr. Biggs?” she asked.

“Um, she said that she gave ponies massages. She would go out at night and wait for a pony to come ask her for a massage, and then go to someplace else to give them a massage, and sometimes she would bring ponies back to our house to give them massages. It never really made sense to me, mom had to be really good at massages if she got so many stallions to pay her for them. I don’t really know though since she always locked the door when she brought somepony back to the house to give them a massage,” I said, shrugging as I ended my little insinuation. Drop a little bit of information and ponies will most likely draw the conclusions that you want them to.

“I...see…” South said slowly.

“And why did she have to pay Mr. Biggs. If he was her boss then he should have been paying mom!” I tried to look angry, and glanced at Steel who had managed to work up a much sadder face. In fact, he looked like he might actually break into tears at any moment, which would immensely help us out here.

South continued to look at me for a few seconds before returning her attention to her little pad and starting another session of writing. I didn’t mind, these frequent little breaks that she was giving us helped a lot for me to think up what I might say next. I felt confident that she wouldn’t try to dig too much deeper into the whole mother situation with what I had just thrown at her. Now, I would need to figure out how it was that we got all the way from Manehattan to Ponyville. How long ago had we left the city exactly? What had we been doing, and where had we been to have survived so long on our own?

“Ashen Stroke,” South said solemnly, breaking me from my reverie. “This may be a very difficult question, but I would like for you to try and tell me. How did your mother die?”

“She…” I paused, trying to stretch the moment on for what it was worth. I bit my tongue, my now flat pony teeth doing an absolutely terrible job at gnashing into the soft muscle of the pink appendage, but after I applied enough effort it started to hurt enough to get my eyes to well up. I looked down at my hooves, fortunately I wasn’t tasting any blood, but it still took a few more seconds of pain to force a tear to roll out of my eye and down my cheek. “She fell…” I managed to choke out eventually. A few tears rolled off my muzzle and onto the couch I was staring down at.

I would have smiled, I probably would have even looked Steel in the face and called him out for his bad acting skills, but I was genuinely feeling really terrible at the moment. I blinked rapidly, trying to reign in my emotions that I felt slipping away from me as I wiped a hoof over my face to clean it off. I didn’t dare look up, something told me that if I did at the time I would just lose it, so instead I continued to stare down and dry my face off with the back of my hoof.

Steel nudged my side, forcing me to look at him. It was obvious from his expression that he was actually concerned for me. I wanted to brush off his worry, tell him that it was all a facade and that it meant nothing, but of course I couldn’t. Instead I continued to sit there and bear it for a while longer until Summer Wind finally felt like the awkward silence had gone on long enough, and that she had to interrupt it.

“Thank you Ashen, I know that couldn’t have been easy for you,” she said, the sincerity in her words almost making believe that she cared.

I sniffed and finished drying my face off before looking back to her. “No big deal,” I replied, putting on a fake, fake, strong front. It was a lot harder to pretend to pretend to try and hide some emotions that you didn’t really have than I thought it might be, but she didn’t seem to notice.

She nodded. “Okay, I just have one last question and then you two can run along alright?”

“Okay,” I sighed.

“Your cutie mark, did you get it while you were living in Manehattan?” she asked.

I arched a brow, thrown off by the seemingly random question. Who cared where or when I got my ass tattoo, I had just spun an incredibly depressing story about two foals living under a single mother that was a prostitute, who may or may not have committed suicide. That last part was obviously up to interpretation, but maybe South would find that it suited whatever narrative she was constructing, and latch onto it.

“Uh, while we were living in Manehattan,” I replied. “There wouldn’t really be anything for me to write with after we left.” It sounded logical at the time, although a little bit of thought on the matter might have saved me a lot of trouble in the future.

She hummed, tapping the edge of her quill against her muzzle. She flipped through the pages of her notebook, using her magic, and putting me on edge. I scooted to my right on the couch, putting an insignificant amount of distance between her and myself, but it helped me at least feel a little better. She stopped eventually, scanning the page several times before looking back up to me.

“There doesn’t seem to be any record of your cutie mark in the Manehattan Registry. Do you have any idea why that is?” she asked.

I sputtered, they had a cutie mark registry? Of course they would have one, it made complete sense as a way to track equestrian citizens, that was if I assumed that each cutie mark was truly unique. And there I was, having just completely blown my own story out of the water with some stupid thoughtless answer. We had to leave. We had to find a way to get out of here before it was too late and something truly horrible happened, so I latched onto the only thing that my panicking mind could think of to get us out of the room.

“You used magic!” I yelled, pointing at her still lit horn.

She looked up to her horn as well, going a little cross eyed as she did so before sheepishly grinning at me. “I’m sorry Ashen, I kind of did it on reflex,” she replied honestly.

I stood once again on the couch, and deciding that I needed to take a little more action this time around, jumped onto the coffee table between the furniture. “You lied! You’re a liar! Liar!” I screamed as childishly as possible.

She cut the magic to her horn and dropped her quill and pad onto the table once again, holding her hooves up placatingly like she had before, but I would no longer be swayed by the now obvious she of submission. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to do it. I wasn’t lying earlier when I said that I wouldn’t do it if it made you uncomfortable.”

“Liar! You lie like all the other adults! Lie about everything! I don’t believe you, and I don’t talk to liars!” I continued hollering as loud as my little lungs would let me, which as it turned out was quite loud.

“Ash, calm down,” Steel said as he put a hoof on my shoulder. I stared back at him shocked, couldn’t he see that I was trying to extricate us from this situation that I had just lost hold of a moment ago. Or maybe he did see, and was just trying to play into my display of childish angst by trying to stop me. He wasn’t being very forceful after all, but then again he wasn’t often forceful about anything. Either way, I couldn’t stop the tantrum even if I wanted to now, stopping now would certainly doom us both.

“Please Ashen, I know you are upset but…”

I cut her off with a harsh glare, and by blowing a raspberry in her face, close enough to get a little spittle of her face and make her flinch back. “I said I don’t talk to liars. I’m leaving, lets go Steel,” I said as I jumped down from the table.

“Ash we can’t just leave,” he said as he followed along next to me.

“Both of you,” South started as she also got up and moved to block our path, “we aren’t finished speaking and I need you both to retake your seats,” she said, bearing an authoritative tone that I didn’t know the small unicorn had.

“You need to let us out of here now,” I said between clenched teeth, staring her down as hard as I could, despite the incredibly strong urge to go and sit back down in the chair so that we wouldn’t get punished. Our stare down continued for only a few seconds before her horn sputtered a few spark of blue, giving me a chance to break in once again.

“You did it again! I can’t believe it! Let me out of here you big magic liar! You have to let me out!” I screamed, breaking the levels that I had reached before. Steel shirked away from my side as South Wind took a step away, the sparks of her horn dissipating after no more than a second.

“No, that was just a ward malfunctioning,” she pleaded.

“No!” I pressed, advancing towards her and maintaining my glare. “I won’t listen to more lies! You lied and now you have to let us go! Let me out! Somepony help!”

Finally, though I had to wonder why it had taken so long, Feather Duster burst into the room. She took a look around as she entered, and after taking in what was going on, turned to South Wind. “What the hay is going on here?” she demanded.

South looked between the two colts whose exit she was blocking, and the irate earth pony, before sighing and stepping out of our way. “It seems that we won’t be able to progress any further today,” she said as she motioned for us to leave. I wasted no time in making my retreat from the torture chamber, Steel tagging along at a more sedate pace behind me. We came into the waiting room just outside the door, and I turned back around, expecting Feather Duster to be just behind us, though I wasn’t too surprised when South stopped her by placing a hoof on her shoulder.

“May I speak to you in private?” she asked.

Feather looked over the two of us, now patiently waiting for her to exit so that we could get the hell out of here before turning back to the mare next to her and nodding. “Be good colts and wait patiently for me while I go and speak with Mrs. South Wind here, and we will get some ice cream on the way back home,” she said to us, waiting for our eager nods at the mention of ice cream before she headed back inside. The door closed and immediately I nearly pounced on Steel, pushing him as far away from any of the office workers as possible so that we wouldn’t draw the attention of any bored ponies.

“Quick,” I whispered desperately to him, “what are they talking about?”

He just tilted his head at me. “How the hell should I know,” he whispered back.

“You said that you were a freaking psychic!” I quietly shouted. “Use your third eye or whatever the fuck it is to spy on them, idiot.” I took a quick look around, seeing only a few ponies that seemed to be completely happy with their tedious paperwork as they typed up or signed whatever it was that they were typing or signing.

“It’s kind of really hard dude, and it gives me a headache like you wouldn’t believe,” he replied.

“You headache,” I said exasperated. “I have had a fucking migraine for most of the day, and then I had to pull our ass out of the fire in there. It’s your turn to take one for the team.” Now that he mentioned it, the pounding in my head was starting to return. It was probably from all of the yelling I had done earlier, not that there was anything that could be done for that now.

“Okay okay, seriously dude you need to chill.” He took a few steps, all the way back into the corner that we were near, and I moved to make sure that he would be blocked from view. I didn’t know what was about to happen, if anything was going to happen at all, but I was certain that I didn’t want anypony knowing about it. The whole race already had too much of an advantage on the two of us.

I looked back to my orange friend, his brow furrowing in concentration. He squeezed his eyes tighter shut and grunted a few times as he made some kind of effort to do what I had asked of him. He strained against an invisible enemy for a few moments before finally letting out a sigh of relief and relaxing back onto his rump, though he kept his eyes shut.

“Okay I got something,” he said.

“Alright, what do you see?” I asked, still plenty skeptical.

“They are standing in the room and talking near the door,” he replied. “Well, more like South Wind is talking and Feather Duster is just listening,” he amended.

“What are they saying dammit,” I spat in frustration.

“How should I know, I don’t read lips.” I raised my hoof in the air, completely ready to beat his unsuspecting head in before thinking better of it. If worse came to worse, maybe I could give Steel up to the princess and she would let me go, deciding to dissect him instead.

“You’re useless,” I commented as I walked as quietly as possible back over to the door and pressed my ear to it. Now it was my turn to concentrate, trying to set the pounding inside my skull aside as I desperately listened to the faint voices just on the other side of the door.

“...isn’t what I meant,” South said.

“Then what did you mean?” Feather retorted, she seemed to be more than a little bit irritated with the unicorn.

“I merely meant that these two have obviously been through a lot, and need some serious help. Burnt Steel seems to be well enough off, though he is completely submissive to his brother, and may be suppressing some emotions. Ashen Stroke on the other hoof obviously has anger issues, and a very deep mistrust for unicorn magic, both of which are probably a result of some trauma. At this point it is all just conjecture, which is why I need them to come in more often.”

“So you want me to bring them here everyday? I know that you have your pretty degrees, but I still don’t trust all of this head shrinking mumbo jumbo. Why should I force these children to come here when they obviously do not want to.” I had to admit, I wanted to break the door down and give Feather a giant hug for that one.

“You might not trust psychology Mrs. Feather Duster, but I also doubt that you have as much experience with dealing with children like these two. While every case is different, I have seen things like this many times before, and let me be frank. If these two do not receive the kind of help that they need the effect could be disastrous and leave them emotionally crippled their entire lives.” There was silence on the other side of the door for a few moments until it seemed that Feather finally relented, though she hadn’t even really tried to take all that much of a stand.

“You’re right, I don’t know how to help them like you might. I am an old mare Mrs. South Wind, and I don’t have the education that you do. I am used to dealing with the normal foal problems like scraped knees or detention. I don’t know about all of this trauma stuff.”

“That’s perfectly alright. That is why I am here after all.”

“Very well then, you wanted me to bring them around more often. How often exactly?”

“Everyday after school for now. I still need to gauge where the two of them are at.”

“That sounds easy enough to work out, anything else you want to speak with me about?”

“Yes actually, I feel that Ashen Stroke…”

“What is it?”

“Just hold on a moment.” There was a brief flash and then nothing. As I continued to push my ear against the door I could hear nothing, not a single sound coming from the other side of the door.

“What happened,” I asked, turning back to Steel and not caring if I drew any glances from the ponies around us.

“South Wind did some kind of spell, don’t know what it did though,” he replied immediately.

I sighed and walked over to where he was sitting, and took a seat as well. It seemed that South had caught on that I we would be spying on their little conversation, or at least she wanted to prevent us from doing so. “Silencing spell I think,” I explained. “Can’t hear anything now, but keep an eye on them anyways, might be that something important happens.”

“Oh, so you actually believe that I can see inside that room right now?” Steel asked, and not completely to be an ass about it.

“Well you knew that South did some kind of magic with your eyes closed, so either that was some incredible luck on your part, or you aren’t lying about weird psychic bullshit,” I replied.

“Makes sense,” he said, lapsing into silence for a few minutes. We continued to sit there, completely silent as we waited for the two mares just inside the office to finish up whatever they were talking about. “Um, what is the plan?” Steel asked as the minutes drew on.

“First, we are going to have some ice cream,” I explained.

“Sounds good.”

“Then,” I continued, “we really need to get our story straight.”

Author's Note:

So this chapter took me a little longer than usual to finish up. I apologize for my tardiness, but am happy with the finished product. To all of those that wished for the plot to get its sorry but in gear, I hope you are happy with this latest installment. More updates to come, and I can happily announce that we have most definitely gotten through the halfway point for this little saga.

Comments ( 47 )

I would've been getting my story straight since day one, not right now.

WARNING: SPOILERS

I was smiling when you did the part where Ashen makes his 'mother' a pr-s-i--t-. I recognized all the hints and stuff and laughed a bit too.
Anyway, great chapter. Can't wait to see more.

Well looks like she won't be taking them away, but she is watching them closely xD. Think they might be sticking with Mr. Rich until they are legal it seems, though i could be wrong.

I guessed, and I was right, about that first spell being about changelings.. be careful, we don't want this story to get too obvious. :pinkiecrazy:

4722243
Well since nobody has pointed out the major plot elements I have been seeding throughout the entirety of this story I think we are okay on that front.

P.S. Don't do that please.

4722277 To be honest, I don't really know... possibly. I do know more about age regression stories than others... but I do not like spoiling things. :pinkiehappy:

They must have been some really good massages if all those stallions came over!

Good story my friend, keep up the good work

*does the 'I was right' dance*

Oh my god that was fantastic!

The bullshit story, the acting and mindgames he pulled was hilarious!:pinkiehappy:

Keep this shit up. Like, fucking seriously, don't stop writing this.

How often do you update?

4792246
Glad you like the start, even though the story does begin to take a more definite route as it goes on. I tried to make sure that I kept some of the lighthearted spirit that it all started out with, and I really do hope that I succeeded in that even though I have a feeling that I didn't.

If this is the half-way mark, then there's bound to be some crazu stuff happenin in the near future.

I wonder when they'll realize that the headaches are from innately using magic. (If that is the case). If so, than I don't see what Ash's powers are other than optimum speed and mouth dexterity (if you know what I mean). There's an old saying: "Shit will hit the fan". That moment will arrive soon enough

Dang it! Now that I caught up I have to wait like everyone else :raritydespair: but great chapter again. Still hoping that you make ash op

Im 8 chapters behind... I need to get reading:twilightoops:

4798199
Maybe lie detecting but also lying? he would make a goo conman

I wouldn't mind some chapters from Steel's perspective. His "I have ways" ways sound interesting.

Great story, keep it up :rainbowlaugh:

Update please. :fluttercry:

I am absolutely loving this. Please update!!

I may be completely wrong but I am pretty sure that Ash's special talent is Lies. His cutie mark is a pen with a spiral around it, which would signify spinning tall tales. It would also explain why he is so uncomfortable around Applejack, the Element of Honesty. It also explains why he can sense when he is being told a lie. My first hint was during the possible future chapter, with the lie he told Red Bush.

I agree with the others, they definitely should have been getting their story straight from day one.

Again, awesome work. Can't wait to see where this goes.:eeyup:

Sorry, but I'm disliking this story. Ashen has been getting progressively less likeable, and Steel is becoming more pathetic at the same rate. That's just my opinion but my opinion is the only one that matters to me.

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I think Ash may be slowly rewriting reality aND the mask is becoming the truth. It's a pretty novel approach (pardon the pun, since it is based on his writing/storytelling talent.)

6382598 Wow, I haven't looked at this story in a while. That is an interesting theory, let me know if it proves true. I might be willing to suffer through this story if something as interesting as that occurs.

You still alive?

6688212 He hasn't been online in 24 weeks, so we can only hope.

6698973 Must be like at school or work but i think he dead.

6698973 Shit, and there still isn't an update! I'm really into finding out what happens now!:raritydespair:

7753973 it just means im quite irreverent. so what if they are stronger and can beat me up? i'll still speak my mind. no edge intended.

Please make more of this i,ve waited a year

Please, it has been sooooo long :fluttershbad:

Why oh why did I read this, the fact that it hasn't been updated in 3 years just frustrates me so much, what's the point in reading if it's been pretty much cancelled

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Like this XD

Chapter 22
A Change of Heart

A few moments later the door finally opened, Me and Steel have waited patiently on the carriage for Feather. We saw her glance at South one last time before closing the carriage door.

"So, where do you want to go master Ash?" she said like nothing ever happened.

"Umm... What did you and Ms. South talked about?" asked Steel.

"Nothing the young masters should worry about for now." we know she was lying. "So, where do you colts want to go?"

"We want some ice cream." I huffed, Exhausted from that stressful event I wanted to cool down a bit and get my mind straight. Steel is rather quiet as of late, Feather already requested the stallions to go to a nearby ice cream parlor.

As we are nearing our destination, Feather broke the silence "Don't worry master Ash, I won't force you to meet with that mare." said Feather with a faint smile " Especially if you don't want to, I just said it so she will let us leave and not bother us anytime soon." I cannot resist it anymore, I have to give Feather a hug. So I stood up the carriage and dash towards Feather catching her off guard as I wrapped my hooves as far around her as I possibly could.

"Thank you." I said with sincerity, Feather blushed and returned the hug, "Your welcome master Ash." I suddenly put my hooves on her lips for some unknown reason.

"No, please just call me Ash from now on." I smiled happily.

Steel was at his seat slack jawed at the sight before him, before anything else could happen the carriage suddenly stopped.

"Oh, it seems that we have arrived Ash." said Feather as she slowly pushes me away. I came to that sudden realization that I have done something really embarrassing. As if I am not myself today. Feather opened the door for us and led us into the parlor. Me and Steel sat on the comfy booth near the window after we looked through the menu and told Feather our order Steel suddenly yell whispered at me.

"Dude, what just happened?"

"We, were investigated by Ms. fortune and made our lives a little bit more unfortunate." I smirked.

"Seriously? Bro, are you okay?." I just smiled at his question. It seems as though all my pent up anger and frustrations suddenly vanished as if they never existed in the first place. I feel giddy inside as if... what is happening to me.

I haven’t touched this story in 4 years and it’s still incomplete!!!:flutterrage: I’m glad though it’s still on fimfiction! :twilightblush:

GOD DAMMIT FINISH THIS FANFIC! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER FOR OVER 5 YEARS NOW!!

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And a eternity we shall wait for more. He hasn't been seen since 2018 and the story hasn't been updated since 2013. For all intensive purposes this story is as discontinued as the servers for Battlefield 1942

Author's Note:

So this chapter took me a little longer than usual to finish up. I apologize for my tardiness, but am happy with the finished product. To all of those that wished for the plot to get its sorry but in gear, I hope you are happy with this latest installment. More updates to come, and I can happily announce that we have most definitely gotten through the halfway point for this little saga

Ah, the best stories have the author telling the readers the next chapter will be up soon.

Great story, for a read book I still hope for more.

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Ah, I see you are a man (or woman) of culture as well.

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Agreed. It's a pain to read off of fimfetch if a story on fimfiction gets removed. Lol, the funny thing is I have an unpublished story specific to paste stories into so I can read without my eyes going blind.

Noooo, the story's dead! And it was getting interesting too...

Dang this chapter is my favourite so far, pony drama is so interesting

I enjoy this story and I hope you continue it one day.

I’d love to see this story unfold: relationships with DT and Filthy Rich, more Mane Six, Ash slowly becoming a crazypony, Steel being able to blend in, CMC crushes, and the government investigating them. It’s a pretty good foundation.

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