Dinner for Delinquents
“Please, take a seat.” Filthy said as he motioned to the two place settings in the middle of the long table. I didn’t really feel comfortable calling him Filthy, from what I had seen so far the guy was pretty nice so it felt like I was insulting him. Anyways, who would name their kid Filthy? That just seems like you are setting the kid up to be bullied his entire life, and let me tell you I know a thing or two about having a name that is easy to play off of like that. No, I’m not going to tell you what it is. Maybe his parents were trying to get him to be picked on so that it would build character while at the same time trying to make sure that he would become rich. Hmm, if that were the case then his parents must have been geniuses.
“Sure thing Mr. Rich,” I replied as I began to circle around the table, going around his side since DT was still glaring at me from her side, until I eventually reached the place for myself. The doors closed behind us with a loud thud, leaving only the four of us in the dining hall with nothing making a sound.
“So boys, have you been having a good time exploring the house?” Mr. Rich asked, breaking the tension in the room somewhat.
“This place is huge!” Steel exclaimed, I had almost forgotten he was here. “How can you even find your way around, we only looked at the West Wing and the backyard and I can’t feel my hooves. Exploring this whole place would probably kill me.”
Mr. Rich laughed a bit at that. “Well that won’t do, the East wing can wait until you have properly recovered from your venture.” Then came a not so subtle throat clearing from the opposite end of the table. “Oh yes, this is my daughter Diamond Tiara. I’m so sorry for forgetting to introduce you sweetheart,” he said motioning to the pink ball of anger, well actually when I looked at her now she didn’t seem all that angry. Maybe she was just a bit annoyed.
“Thank you Daddy,” in case you were wondering, yes she did sound exactly like the stuck up brat I had expected her to be, no big shocking revelations there. “So, who are these two?”
“Did Dusty not explain this to you properly? I am sure I asked him to,” Mr. Rich asked with an arched brow.
“He said that there were going to be two colts here but that’s it. So who are these two daddy?” Diamond asked once again.
Mr. Rich turned to us now “Why don’t you two introduce yourselves?” While I was glad that I wasn’t being talked about like I was no longer there I wasn’t incredibly comfortable in this situation.
“I’m Burnt Steel,” my partner said happily.
“Ashen Stroke,” I simply stated afterwards, “pleasure to meet you.”
Diamond looked between the two of us for a minute she seemed to be trying to understand some joke that hadn’t been made. “Yes,” she said eventually, “I’m Diamond Tiara, the pleasure is all mine.”
Mr. Rich smiled from his own seat “That is what I like to see, everypony getting along. Why don’t we get out dinner underway what do you guys say.” Before any of us could make a reply, though I don’t think we were supposed to, he rang a bell which caused a set of doors to open and four service ponies to file in, each with a covered platter.
With synchronicity they all removed the covers and revealed to us the salads that had been prepared. Oh salad, how I hate you so very very much. How could I have possibly forgotten to tell them how much I despise the taste of lettuce. It occurred to me then that maybe my diet wasn’t very much in line with what ponies might eat. It also came to my attention that I was incredibly hungry so I should probably just get over myself and take the free meal for what it was. It was in fact one of the better salads I had ever seen, small tomatoes and other veggies decorated the bowl which was drizzled over with two distinctly different sauces: one a coppery brown that seemed to have flecks of pepper in it and the other a smooth grey that looked almost silver. “Thank you, please tell Cookie to begin the second course shortly.” At Mr.Rich’s words the servers all bowed and filed out of the room promptly.
I looked between Diamond and Mr. Rich to see what I should be doing right now, and was unsurprised to see the two pick up one of their forks, yes there were many forks, spoons, and knives laid out for us to use, and begin eating from the salad. I located a similar fork and found myself momentarily mesmerized as I also managed to pick it up with my hoof before spearing a bit of lettuce and lifting it to my mouth for a taste. I was pleasantly surprised by just how magnificent the salad tasted, it had to have been the best salad I had ever tasted, though given that I usually avoid salads like the plague that wasn't really saying much. I was pressed to say that it might have even been...good. I scooped up another bite and greedily ate it, now fully realizing just how incredibly hungry I was as I did so.
Steel on the other hoof seemed to be having a much more difficult time navigating the utensils than I was. He was still fumbling with the fork as it continually fell out of his grip when I was already halfway done with my salad. Seeing his trouble brought a smile to my lips and when I glanced over I saw Diamond also equally amused. I was glad to see that we had at least one thing in common, finding entertainment in Steel's moments of weakness. Who knew we might be able to get along after all.
“Do you need some help with that?” Mr. Rich asked him.
“No I got it,” he quickly replied as he dropped the fork once more into the salad before he gave up and just went about eating without using utensils. This earned him a scowl from the little princess and a bemused smile from the only adult here. I just relished in the fact that there was no attention on myself and Diamond was no longer giving me the evil eye. We continued to watch him eat straight from the bowl for a few minutes longer until her seemed to remember himself and pulled away from it with a sheepish grin. I was just about to make a comment of my own when Mr. Rich rang the bell and the next course was brought in.
This time instead of four ponies eight came in, the four in the front carrying nothing and quickly removing our plates, whether they were empty of food or not, before the next four came in and set the platters down once again. Did they really need eight ponies to serve us dinner or were they just trying to show off how ludicrously rich they were? It’s not like I didn’t know that they were tremendously wealthy given how incredibly huge this entire estate was but this seemed to just be going a little overboard. Before they left the ponies removed the tops once again from the trays to reveal a steaming plate of assorted vegetables. I don’t really know what I had been expecting but this had most certainly not been it.
“Is something wrong with your food? I made sure to tell Cookie what you didn’t like to eat,” Mr. Rich asked me.
I looked up from the plate, “No nothing wrong, I just...”
“Just what?”
“Nothing I guess,” I said as I speared a piece of carrot on a fork, a different fork then the one I had just been using previously of course. It looked decently cooked, not that I was really one that could tell if it had been, so I gave it a little nibble and was greeted with that unmistakable carrot flavor. I caught Steel smirking at me from across the table, no doubt he was thinking once again to the conversation we had just before coming here. Now that I was thinking about it...
“Is the food to your liking?” He asked me, causing me to notice that I had been sitting with a fork in my mouth for a few minutes.
“I...yes it is, my compliments to the chef.” I speared a piece of broccoli and devoured it without much thought. Honestly, the salad had been better. Steel seemed to still be struggling with his utensils; butting up against physics every time that he tried to use one properly.
“You may be glad to know that after meeting with Mrs. Cheerilee earlier today that you two have been properly enrolled in the local school. It’s not a large class but you will be going in the mornings with Diamond, and tomorrow morning you will be taking an aptitude test given at the school to place you.” In true nonchalant fashion he didn’t even bother looking up from his food as he ate with the poise of a rich person.
“When did you even have the time to plan all of this stuff? You only met us this afternoon,” Steel asked, and I had to admit that it was a good point I hadn’t even thought of.
“I was called from my home by the mayor earlier today when you two showed up and instructed Dusty to make arrangements as I left. After dropping you off here I paid a visit to the school to make the particular arrangements,” he stated simply, wow this guy really doesn’t waste time. “Are your rooms to your liking?”
“Very much so, it’s huge,” I said before taking another bite of carrot. Steel mumbled something about his jacket but since I was the closest person to him and even I couldn’t make it out I doubt the others could.
Mr. Rich looked over to his daughter at the end of the table “Well Diamond, while we have everyone here you should probably try and get to know these two a little better. You will be sharing a home with them for the foreseeable future after all.”
The pink ball of melodrama that was Diamond Tiara moved her eyes from her plate to cast her gaze at me once again. She scanned me over, making me wish for the first time that I did in fact have my clothes back, before asking a simple yet impossible question “What is your cutie mark supposed to mean?”
I glanced down at my own flank to see the pen inside of a strange blue spiral and my mind went blank. What the hell was it supposed to mean, I think that the pen meant something to do with writing but I had no idea what the hell the spiral meant. Was it supposed to mean anything at all or was it being there just for show. It took up more space than the pen did so was it supposed to be the main focus even though it was in the background, or did like I originally think was the foreground the important thing. What about my theory with names and relations to talents, did that apply here even though I had completely made the name up out of nowhere. Was there some sort of cosmic over guidance that allowed...
Diamond clearing her throat rather loudly pulled me from my musings “Are you just going to sit there looking at your butt all day?” This of course got a laugh from Steel and even a modest chuckle from Filthy Rich himself.
“No I was just thinking back to when I earned it. The cutie mark depicts the ability to create prose that will stand firm against the test of time and stop itself from becoming dated. A feat that on it’s own isn’t very glamorous though it happens to be my area of expertise,” I said with an apathetic shrug. The two natural ponies seemed satisfied with that answer, apparently not questioning the ten year old that could actually speak like that, while Steel was staring with his mouth agape.
“Oh that reminds me, we should probably get Steel a flying coach, he can’t even manage to get off the ground,” I told Mr. Rich, effectively removing the attention from myself once more.
“Hey!” he shouted at me.
“Is that true, do you really have so much trouble Steel? If so then we will need to find an instructor for you immediately,” Rich said as he tapped his chin.
“Well...yea I guess it’s true.” He allowed after a moment, I caught Diamond smirking again before taking a bite of cauliflower though I think I was the only one that did.
“Then that is what we will have to do once you two are done with your fittings tomorrow,” he replied before ringing a bell once more, summoning the same eight servants to take away our plates and replace them with...no that couldn’t be.
“Is this...” I began as I looked down at the plate.
“Meat? No it isn’t Ashen but it is a meat substitute. We have to entertain foreign dignitaries and businessponies at this house at times and their dietary habits are far different from our own. I asked for this to be served last so we might see how well you two deal with it.” He cut his own small bite and ate the piece without so much as a grimace. Diamond Tiara looked absolutely disgusted as she ate her own small bite but she did it all the same.
I knew it! There aren’t people this nice without something seriously wrong with them. This pony was out of his mind, but I did really want some meat to eat. Perhaps I could forgive the extremely strange choice of food as long as it allowed me access to some sort of meat substitute again. I used a fork and knife to cut my own small piece from the slab of steak and ate it happily, though I made sure to try and look like it was the most disgusting thing I had ever tasted despite it being orgasmicly delicious. It was tough but I think I might have pulled it off.
Steel on the other hoof didn’t care in the least about appearances and stabbed his fork into the steak and brought the whole thing up to his mouth to take bites. He got a look of horror from the little girl and one of confusion from Mr. Rich. I kicked him under the table to try and let him know what he was doing but all I got was a yell and a glare. “Hey, why are you kicking me?!”
“Because you are being an idiot!” I whispered as loudly as I dared, which seemed to get him to see exactly what he was doing.
He dropped the steak back onto the plate with a loud plop and backed away from the table “I think I’m going to be sick...” he said before racing out of the room.
While I hadn’t expected him to do it, that seemed to nullify the other two ponies who pushed their fake meat away from them. I did the same though I really didn’t want to, god that tasted so good. Was I really so hooked that I couldn’t even go a few hours without some meat, that is kind of pathetic.
“Well I think that will be all for dinner, you two have been good so we shall get you some dessert,” Mr. Rich said as he stood from the table and moved to one of the doors leading out. He opened it and went into the kitchen, leaving Diamond and myself in the room alone together.
“Your brother is really weird,” she said after a few moments of unbearable silence.
“Yeah, he can be that way most of the time. He is still a good guy though, so while it’s funny to watch him mess up let’s try not to rub it in too much okay?” I asked, hopefully putting her at ease.
“Whatever,” she said as she sat back and folded her front hooves. A unicorn entered with two big sundaes suspended in the air before her and set one down in front of each of us. We had each been fortunate enough to earn a scoop of vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry each topped with chocolate syrup and a cherry. Diamond dipped into the chocolate ice cream first and began eating thoughtfully. “So why were you talking like that?” she asked after she swallowed the bite.
I took a mouthful of the vanilla and was happy to find that it tasted the same, if ponies could eat sweets and still be as slim as Pinkie then I just might have a chance here. “Talk like what?”
“With all of those big words. Are you trying to impress my dad because he won’t be won over that easy you know. I should know.”
“That really hadn’t crossed my mind. I guess sometimes I try to act smarter than I am, I guess it helps to get others to leave you alone.” Fancy that, having to do some semi-deep introspection when talking to a token bully character.
“So you want ponies to leave you alone huh. That’s fine with me, don’t bug me at school or when I’m hanging out with my friends and everything will be fine. And don’t start thinking that you can do whatever you want here because you are some charity case my dad took in,” she said pointedly with her spoon. So this was supposed to be the classic don’t mess with the way I have things speech, I was kind of disappointed that it came up but whatever.
“Want my chocolate ice cream? I don’t like it,” I replied simply as I got up and dropped the bowl in front of her as I made for the exit. “Don’t worry about us Diamond, we won’t be stealing your precious attention so you just do you and we will do us.” With little effort I closed the door behind me and exited the dining hall, I had honestly expected something a little more explosive but it wasn’t too bad of an introduction.
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So they]didn't drop that grenade, but there are more they are juggling, next one is school
Heh, I still think it would have been funny if those two didn't put up that charade of hating meat and instead just went at it with gusto... like a human! Raar! Omnomnomnom!
Hey, didn't they say they lived in the Everfree forest for awhile? Who knows what that place will do to a pair of young, impressionable ponies. Gotta do what you need to do to survive. It turned them into meat-eaters!
2958757 Heh. I was half-expecting them both to just grab the meat and bite into like an animal, tearing chunks right off the bulk with jaw strength alone. That would merit a couple of awkward stares and a decent bit of "What? Is there something on my face? Uh... Oh, meat. Ohhhhh. Meat. Yeah."
If it was bacon, the their true humanity would show itself. Might even grow canines while they're at it.
Good. Can't wait for more!
2959040What if it was steak wrapped in bacon?
And I cannot tell you how much I'd been looking forward to a new chapter of this story. I really want to see how the others react to them, especially the CMC with the fact that they have to "protect" Diamond Tiara.
2961279
To ask a certain depressed robot;
It will all end in tears, I just know it.
2961279
Steak wrapped in bacon.....
My cover would have been blown if I was them. Damn Texan love for BBQ would be the death of me
2965183Yeah, me too. Only way I can stand salad is if it's practically coated in dressing. Plain lettuce just leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.
But meat... oh god, meat is soooo juicy and delicious. Especially when cooked just right and marinated in barbeque, mandarin, or teriyaki sauce. Ketchup helps for meats not marinated, but some meats are just divine by themselves. I am a major carnivore. Vegetables and fruits are a rarity for me to eat.
2965209
Don't get me started... this Texan could go on for a while
2965242Morale of this conversation? Meat is fucking delicious.
2965247
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/4226253568/h806300EF/
2965292
Wait could you quite possibly be from Texas? Anyways both of these two are so yea...
2965785
Yep, I'm a Texan
through and through
.... You'll never see me in a cowboy hat though:
. I live in some small town south of Dallas
you should have them freak diamond tiara out by saying stuff only to her that they know from the show.
2965954
I hope the 'brothers' stick together
R.I.P me I can't have dairy oofff
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