• Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Jun 4th, 2016

RavensDagger


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Rainbow Dash finally builds up enough courage to face Twilight and confess.

Things don't go exactly as planned, and soon the athletic mare faces a real storm as her heart and mind try to cope with the winds of rejection.

An experiment in metaphor and simile.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 24 )

While I was reading, I found myself holding my breath along with Rainbow Dash. My mind working overtime, turning your words into brilliant scenes. :rainbowdetermined2:

I do not know if you or Sorren writes prettier,or not, but when I read this I was getting those good tingles that run up and down your spine. :pinkiesad2:

2800624
Actually, Sorren is really, really good.

He's improved leaps and bounds in the past six months or so and may have well skipped on by me in that time.

Very nice. Short, but by no means simple. Poetic even, a simple joy to read. Joining together Dash's physically abilities, her surroundings and emotions into one, strong package. Very nice.

2802333
While this is technically just a competition between Raven and Sorren, a friend of his and mine, this story can certainly continue . . . maybe. If I can get everyone to beg for it to continue, it will. And even though I edited the thing, and he specifically said he wasn't really going to continue it, I want it to so very bad. Mainly because I love this ship, but because I liked how he was writing it.

He is probably going to see this anyway, so hurry up and rally the fan troops so that this can become the next Of Challenges and Kisses!

2802794
... Huh. Did it seem like I wanted it to continue?

2802838
No, but would you not want it to? XD

In case you can't tell, I am trying to get people to beg for its continuation. Raven did great in writing it, but I am sorely angry that he decided to leave it alone. I will probably talk to him about it later on, but still. Fans speak louder than me. XD

But if you don't want it to continue, that is certainly fine. If I cannot get fans behind me, I shall hack Raven and force him to continue it :pinkiehappy:

2802856
Hmmmm... its not that I don't want it to continue, I don't see how it could, or if I should try to pressure its creator into doing so.

2802861
You do have a point about it. He decided to make it almost impossible to continue it. But I have a few ideas that I could run by him anyway. And he probably knows how to do it, if he had the drive.

But hey, it is whatever. I do realize that this was never meant to be anything more than a practice, and it won't amount to anything. But that was the plan with Of Challenges and Kisses, and see how that turned out :pinkiehappy:

2802889
That... is a strong point at the end.

. . . .(i slowly drop my head)someone,anyone,please go get me a shotgun.twilight is going to pay. rainbow might be free and safe,but not twilight.

2802856
"hack"

Sounds.... painful.

Also, you're more than just a fan, you're my friend. Your voice counts for much more than what you may think.

2803965
Then that means I don't have to force you to tie your legs to your chair and write more on this story, but instead can ask you and you will do it, right?

2802856 I REALLY liked this story, and TwiDash is my favorite ship as well. I can totally see this continuing, there's plenty of room to grow it still. A rejection isn't the defining force of a 'The End', as events can continue and characters can change. Adversity may present itself and Twilight ends up becoming a different pony due to what she experiences. The story then revolves around her trying to come to terms with the fact that she now DOES feel that way, but she has already turned Dash away, and now does not know exactly which direction to pursue; her love, or her friendship? A simple dichotomy that can be dotted with struggles of the 'slice-of-life' variety.

This is a great build-up to a bigger, grander story, and I think the author definitely accomplished what he wanted. However, there is no reason it can't be furthered to even greater heights!

Though to be honest, I MAY be a slight bit biased... as a story in which Twilight rejects Rainbow Dash just makes my heart crack into a pile of ashes. That doesn't change the fact that as an objective viewpoint, this was really good.

Well done on this story Mr. Author, whether you continue or not. Definitely earning a thumbs-up AND a favorite. ^_^

hold on, this better not be a fucking one shot! you can't just leave rainbow like that! and we need to have twilight 'dumbass' sparkle figure out just how stupid she really is!

Great story, but I think this really has potential. It would be awesome if you continued this story if you dont mind that is :yay:

2804131
Fine, I'll do it.

Find me on Gchat ASAP?

Quite well done, my good man. These illustrious, emotion-filled scenes were, indeed, pretty. And maybe a few more of them might be able to save these two wonderful mares from the heart-rending fate you've bestowed upon them!

That said, nice work; A+'s all around! You definitely created a well written atmosphere here!

~Anonymous Deity

Very well done. So many emotions in a few words.

Wow, another amazing story finished! Can't wait to see what else you'll do.

You over explain things, and write really short chapters.
Thats all i really have to say about this

One thing:

She didn’t looked like a mare.

I think you meant look.
Everything else was great, so have a like! :twilightsmile:

Only one error. Rainbow is cyan, not cerulean. Cerulean is a deep blue, like that of a lake. Cyan is a much brighter blue, but is uncommon in nature so I can make an analogy except for Rainbow's coat.

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