Just a simple guy who likes to find a shining light, even in the darkest of places.
Sad4,353 stories ·2,624 members
The Writers' Group56,452 stories ·9,300 members
Rainbow Dash7,260 stories ·4,145 members
Fluttershy4,017 stories ·2,924 members
Applejack2,129 stories ·1,771 members
Slice of Life8,162 stories ·1,463 members
Rainbow Dash was given the worst possible news she could ever hear. Her friends want to help her through this, but first they need to get her to open up to them. But as they try, they are also deal with the feeling of what would happen if they were in her position.
(I'd like to thank MaxTheSwed for the cover image.)
Page generated in 0.224 seconds
Total duration
790 users online
802,689 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
At first I thought this was going to be Rainbow Dash has a terminal disease or cancer or something.
Always sad to lose a family member through the military, knowing they died protecting their country.
Applejack very nearly described the five stages of grief. Everyone goes through some of the stages at various points but not everyone goes through all the steps.
Very good idea, and for the most part, well executed; I'll be interested in seeing where this goes.
Just a couple of small issues: Check your spelling and punctuation a little more carefully; I spotted a number of misspelled words, several missing or incorrect uses of commas and periods (particularly before the closing quote mark of dialogue), and occasionally forgetting to use the apostrophe to make the possessive form ("Applejacks shoulder", and so on).
Second: never mix past and present tense in the same sentence or paragraph.
Those are just three examples; there's several more throughout both chapters.
Last:
To quote Daffy Duck: "Hmmm... pronoun trouble."*
Too many "shes" and "hers" stacked up here makes it hard to follow the sentence. Try this:
Rainbow stood by the door. She knew Fluttershy was right - but she wasn’t like Fluttershy, she couldn’t open up to her like Fluttershy could to her.
(* the quote, of course, is from the one of the rabbit season/duck season cartoons.
Daffy: "Shoot him now! Shoot him now!"
Bugs: "You keep out of this! He doesn't have to shoot you now!"
Daffy: "He does so have to shoot me now!" (to Elmer) "I demand that you shoot me now!"
BLAM!
Daffy: "Hm. Something's not right. Let's run through that again. 'Shoot him now, shoot him now...'"
Bugs: (deadpan) "You keep out of this, he doesn't have to shoot you now."
Daffy: "Ah-hah! Pronoun trouble." (lectures Bugs) It's not 'He doesn't have to shoot you now', it's 'He doesn't have to shoot me now.'" (quickly turns to Elmer) "So shoot me now!"
BLAM!)
2757386
You have no idea how helpful that's gonna be, thanks for the review and glad you liked it.
Ooooo... you're goooood..... its hard to make me cry, and i almost started to cry here...
I just lost a close family member... The feeling of losing one cant be described. Your heart stops, and time goes faster. You can stand emotionless for minutes, but it only feels like seconds. And i can totally relate to the thing that everyone feels sorry for you, and that is acually very annoying. You finally succeed to forget it and think of something else, and then someone brings the subject up. And then time stops instead. Seconds feels like minutes and minutes hours. And the thoughts just rush by and flash you in your face. You cant cry, but you want to. You just wanna let it all out but something is stopping you. And that is THE. WORST. PART. And by this i am ruffely speaking. And... You just can't describe it. When i re-read this comment it feels so wrong.. but still, when i write it again it becomes just the same. But i just wanna point that out.
YOU CANT DESCRIBE THE FEELING.
2757637
I'm sorry if this opened up any old wounds.
2757646 dont worry... its no old wounds. It happend 2 weeks ago... so...
no wounds opend. And dont worry, you diddn't put salt in them eaither.
having something similar happen to me the feeling is close to how AJ described but at the same time not even close.
lie on floor........try not to cry......cry alot.........
There were some spelling errors but this is still pretty good.
Right now Rainbow Dash seems determined to remain on the Denial stage and forget that it ever happened but on the inside she's on both the Anger and the Depression stage. She'll likely skip the Bargining stage but she'll have a hard time coming to the Acceptance stage.
Gah! Why do I always read the comments?! That just ruined the story for me. But I will still like and fave it. Just because I have a feeling it would of been a tear-jerker.
Good job there mate!
I sure do like this story!
I really like this story, good work!
How sad!I wanted to cry here
it is a sad feeling to know that someone your so close to is gone...
Overall it's a great fanfic!
Uh-oh trouble is brewing.
This is exiti'n.
Ah that's so nice. Good to see there's some happiness in this gloomy situation.
Now it's probably Rarity's turn to help Twilight.
2796272
Maybe she will, maybe she won't, you'll find out
Excellent.....
Wow..that was painful.
2807667
In a good way or a bad way?
Despite some grammar errors this is still going pretty well so far.
Jeez this story... full of feels... is pretty darn good...
Just sayin at the very end its 'hay'
P.S. I love this story so much!!!!
This chapeter was marvelous!
Nice Chapter!
(I hope the next chapter will be a rainbow-chapter
!)
I see you're using the names from that Pinkie Pie book. You're probably the first fanfic writer to use them.
2876504
Tried to make sure I got them accurate so I would get yelled at for using the wrong ones.
2876587 Well considering most fanfic writers aren't using them they either haven't read the book or prefer the fandom names.
Blinkie, Inkie, Clyde, and Sue could still exist as nicknames.
I liked how Trixie was in this one.
No Rainbow Dash don't do it! Whatever you're thinking isn't the answer!
PINKIE!? WE NEED YOUR 4TH WALL BREAKING NOW. RAINBOW IS SERIOUSLY ON THE EDGE.
You might want to edit the last sentence, there, FictionFreek. I think you put the wrong name.
2892970
You go Fluttershy, you did the right thing even when it was hard to do.
As Albus Dumbeldore once said "It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies. But it takes even more courage to stand up to your friends."
(And what a coincidence that this chapter that has Fluttershy save the day was uploaded on Andrea Libman's birthday.)
The punctuation (or lack of it) ruins the mood.
The feels... You shot a 40mm feels bullet straight through my heart.
Dr. Fluttershy? Well that's the cutest physchologist I've ever heard of.
Awesome....
BEST. SUICIDE WATCH. EVER!!!!!
I love this story more please.
Rainbow Dash's dad didn't die. He just turned invisible and lost his helmet.
Twilight is a female dog. She's a freakin' hypocrite, and she gets mad at Applejack for telling one pony? Well, newsflash, Twilight, you told four other ponies, so you can shut your dirty mouth. What kind of friend accuses her other friends of lying and blindly yells at them for no reason? Such a good friend you are. Also, she doesn't even consider her friends' feelings about all this. Twilight, go and die in hell. Burn.
Damn man, cried once in every chapter i read already..
*drinks water to refill tear tank*
Nope. Hit too close to home.
3099858
Um...sorry?
That last line..... *grabs tissue box*
Who is that pony?
Good chapter..
Nat much to say...
10/10